Believe Like A Boss

Self-Love for High Achievers (A Pep Talk)

• Nandi Camille • Season 7 • Episode 18

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Ever feel like you're constantly working toward your goals but rarely stopping to acknowledge how far you've come? You're not alone.

This episode dives deep into the often-overlooked practice of giving ourselves love and respect, particularly for high-achieving women. While we excel at identifying areas for improvement (which is likely why you're listening to self-development podcasts!), we frequently miss opportunities to celebrate our progress and acknowledge our efforts.

The real magic happens when we balance our drive for growth with genuine self-appreciation. As Nandi reveals, the people operating at their highest level aren't those constantly criticizing themselves into excellence—they're those who genuinely love and respect themselves first. This love creates space for greater creativity, resilience, and authentic connection with others.

Through personal stories about her 32nd birthday celebrations and thoughtful questions, Nandi invites you to reflect: Where have you been showing yourself love that you haven't acknowledged? What efforts deserve recognition, regardless of their outcomes? How might shifting from "I'm not enough yet" to "I'm doing well and getting better" transform your experience?

Whether you're struggling with a setback or simply feeling like your efforts aren't yielding results fast enough, this episode offers a compassionate reminder that becoming someone you've never been before is challenging work—and you're doing that work beautifully. Give yourself some credit today. You deserve it.

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Speaker 1:

Hi, friends, and welcome to Believe Like a Boss. I'm your host Life Coach, nandi Camille. Join me as I teach you how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual alignment and authentic action. I'll teach you how to create what I like to call a life of thrive, with ease and authenticity. It's time to play with what's possible. Are you ready? Let's go.

Speaker 2:

Hello, hello, hello and welcome back to another episode of Believe Like a Boss. I am your host life coach, Nadi Camille. Welcome back, my friends, I'm so happy to have you back. I just celebrated my 32nd birthday. I am so excited about it.

Speaker 2:

Honestly, I feel like originally, before my 30s, I in my 20s I was like, oh, it's just gonna get worse, because that was what I feel like I heard from most people as they were aging it's just like grump, grump, grump, I'm aging, grump, grump, grump. Even my grandfather he'd be like aging is horrible, aging sucks. He'd say that all the time. And so, as I heard from adults in the world, I just always assumed it's just always going to get worse. But I think also, as I've gotten older, I've just decided that that's not the narrative that I want to have, and I don't think that's the narrative that anybody necessarily wants to have. But as a result of noticing how our body changes as we're aging, especially if we're not doing the work to take care of our bodies, it can be really alarming and unsettling and unfun to watch our bodies change. But, like I said, I'm working diligently and thoughtfully to age gracefully, and when I say gracefully, that's both spiritually and physically right. I want to exercise and eat well and wash my face, and I'm using a red light wand now to make sure I'm helping out my fine lines. None of that is necessary, let me just say. But I do enjoy the process of helping, supporting myself in aging gracefully. It makes me feel good. And then, on the flip side, it's not putting all of my eggs on the aesthetic side, the aesthetics I love so fun, but it's also reminding myself that I am going to age, this skin is going to sag, and so, nurturing my soul, nurturing my inside, how am I speaking to myself? How do I think about myself? How do I care for myself? How do I show myself care? And it's really what we're talking about today.

Speaker 2:

But all that to say that, for my 32nd year, I just spent the four days that I spent celebrating truly just me and Tyler, very introverted way. I had so much fun. I truly just wanted to do me. What do I love, what do I enjoy, what brings me joy, what makes me happy? And what makes me joyful and happy is art and nature and being with my husband. So that's what I did.

Speaker 2:

We went to an art museum. We went to First Friday, which is when all the art galleries open up in downtown Denver. We went on a really beautiful hike outside. We got a lot of outside time actually, which was so good for my soul. We cleaned up my garden in the backyard a little bit Our garden. I said my garden. It feels like it's my garden, but it is our garden. We started that process, picked up some mulch, so did a lot of really good work that felt nurturing, nourishing and in alignment. It was not about anything else other than what brings me joy and focusing on that. So it was so good.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much for all of the birthday wishes. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Oh, and the Ever Eve catalog came out. So the photo shoot that I did back in February, it is officially out. It came out on my birthday. What a gift. And it's funny because in the catalog it says Nandi 31. And literally I was like, oh, 32 today, but that's okay, and so that came out. So I'm celebrating a lot with age 32, 20 years of being in education. What is it? The catalog coming out and just enjoying life in general. So it was so much fun.

Speaker 2:

What we're talking about today is love and respect towards yourself. I'm in the zone of noticing the ways in which I'm not giving myself love and respect, the ways in which I'm not speaking to myself with kindness. But I think, on the flip side, what's more important, or just as important, rather, is noticing the ways you are giving yourself love and respect, Especially when we're high achieving women, we are go-getters out in the world. It's very easy for us to find all the ways that we're not giving ourselves love and respect, all the ways that we want to better ourselves, all the ways that we're lacking. I find that we tend to be very good at that, very good at finding all the ways we want to improve. Hence why you're listening to this podcast. Right, it's a self-empowerment, self-improvement, self-help podcast. People listen to this because they are aware of there are spots in my life that I want to improve.

Speaker 2:

But I think that sometimes we forget to notice where do you love yourself really well, where do you show yourself respect in your life? To just pause and notice that, not where you're doing things perfectly, but where you are taking effort, where in your life can you give yourself some praise for? I have been trying to wake up earlier. I have been eating an extra vegetable a day. I have been dot, dot, dot. What are the ways in which you have been showing yourself love and respect lately? That's the whole question I want to ask today and I want to spend all of our time there. What are the ways in which you have shown yourself love and respect lately? Is it you spending a little bit more time being kind to yourself? Is it you just noticing that you haven't been kind to yourself? Even that alone, right, that's a step into if you've been angry and you're getting into neutral. It's a step in a positive direction. In what ways have you been showing love and respect to yourself?

Speaker 2:

I'm asking you the question repeatedly to massage it into your brain because, again, the opposite is usually what's more true? What ways am I broken? What ways am I behind? What ways am I wrong? What can I fix? And none of those questions are wrong. None of those questions are bad. They're all meant to be helpful. From your brain that's trying to protect you from being a failure, from not succeeding. As you see, success, right, those questions are helpful. But what I'm offering is maybe we help ourselves in the positive. In what ways am I loving myself?

Speaker 2:

The other way to think about this is what is going well. Right, where are my efforts working? What am I noticing that's going well? I'm noticing that when I do journal, I feel better. I'm noticing that I have been trying to go to bed earlier and in me trying to go to bed earlier, I'm feeling a little bit more rested the next day. What's working? You're doing a really good job. I don't know if somebody hasn't told you that lately, but you're doing a really good job. I don't know if somebody hasn't told you that lately, but you're doing a really good job. You're doing your best and, as Maya Angelou said so beautifully, we do our best until we know better, and then we do that.

Speaker 2:

Give yourself some credit today. Give yourself some credit for showing up. Give yourself some credit for trying. Give yourself some credit for trying again, even though it failed. Give yourself credit for getting back up, even though you were sobbing about it the other day, even though it still hasn't happened. Whatever your it is, it still hasn't happened, or it still hasn't happened the way you anticipated it to happen. Give yourself credit for putting another foot in front of the other, even though you have no guarantee that your it is going to happen.

Speaker 2:

I think one of the craziest things with faith, with this belief work, is believing in things that we've never seen before. When I said that I wanted to be a director when I was in college and I said I wanted to make $40,000, I had no evidence of that. The only evidence I had of that in the world was that there were other directors in the world that were making that much money. Nobody in my family had done that before. I had never done that before. I'd never been a director before. I'd never been in charge of other adults before. All of that was very scary to me. I had to believe in something I had never seen before. Right, so give yourself some credit for having faith. Give yourself some credit for believing in things that you haven't seen yet, for believing that there's a version of you that exists that's different than the version of you that exists right now. That's hard work To be a person that, maybe for an arbitrary example, you work out once a week.

Speaker 2:

Right now You've gone to your doctor. Your doctor says, hey, these levels aren't looking the best. And now you're like okay, I want to change it. I want to become a person that works out three times per week. That's hard. You're changing your thought process. You're changing your behavior. You're changing your routines. You might be changing the format in which you work out, because you don't want to walk every single day. You want something more intense. So maybe now you're having to think about going to a different gym that you've never been to before. Maybe you're thinking about buying a fitness app that you've never used before. Maybe you're getting equipment that you've never touched before. Give yourself some credit for the work that you've been doing.

Speaker 2:

Becoming someone that you have never been before is not easy. Doing things that you have never done before requires a lot of effort in the brain. The brain is going to freak out every single time. That's why, when I'm working with women, when I'm working with clients and they're like, oh my gosh, why is this so hard? This thing that I want I said I wanted to do this. I'm over here doing the thing. Why am I so terrified? Why is this so hard? Because it's new.

Speaker 2:

Anytime there's newness, your brain says what's going to happen? What do I need to be afraid of? I don't know. Question mark question mark. Question mark. What could happen? What could come out of the closet? I need to be prepared to be attacked. Notice that. Right, are you operating from the place of? I need to be protected at all times. I need to be prepared for my attack. Right, have you been working on relaxing your nervous system a little bit more? Maybe it's not perfect, but maybe you've noticed I'm less anxious than I was yesterday. I'm less anxious than I was before. I bounced back from setback quicker than I used to. Yeah, I cried about it, but I'm still showing up. Where can you give yourself credit for giving yourself love, for showing yourself respect, for showing up for the goal that you set, for getting knocked down and getting back up anyway?

Speaker 2:

This podcast episode is for the queen or king who is just feeling like it's not working out. I want to remind you that it is. I want to remind you that the work that you've done is important. I want to remind you that the effort that you've put in is going to pay off. I want to remind you that the seeds that you've planted some of them, like when we plant seeds in real life some of them are bunk, but some of them, like when we plant seeds in real life some of them are bunk, but some of them will blossom. We won't know, unless you continue to water and nurture the land. If you plant a bunch of seeds and then you walk away, I mean, depending on where you live in the world, they might grow.

Speaker 2:

I'm in Colorado. It is dry here. If I do not water these plants, they will not grow. We have lots of sunshine here, I don't have to worry about that, but it is dry, right? So I have to know the conditions of my environment. What are the conditions of your environment, and are you nurturing yourself accordingly, right? The conditions of your environment, if you're a mom versus if you're single, versus if you live in a city versus if you live in a rural area, are all different. Everybody's goals are all different. Are you adjusting your to-do list to meet your environment? My guess is that you are, and the point of this podcast is to give yourself some credit. And if you're noticing it, well, yeah, I haven't been watering my plants as much. I haven't been watering myself as much. This is my friendly reminder to you to water yourself, not to go out there and do the work to water yourself.

Speaker 2:

In what ways might you love yourself and respect yourself a little bit more? The first question is the more important one In what ways might you love yourself a little bit more? So often we think it's about I need to do this task or I need to do that thing, or I need to do that thing, and it's like, no, yeah, I mean, doing those things would be helpful. But, first and foremost, if you don't love yourself, if you do not respect yourself, the work you're putting out into the world is not at your highest level. The work that is at your highest level is the work from the place of loving yourself, trusting yourself.

Speaker 2:

You can put work out in the world where you don't love yourself and you don't trust yourself, but my guess is, the reason why you're listening to this podcast is because you want to operate at your highest level, and what I've observed is the only people that can actually operate at their highest level are the people that genuinely love themselves, and not in a narcissistic way, right, but in a way that, because they love themselves, they have more grace for others. Because they love themselves through failure, they love others through failure. They don't judge others. When others fail, they notice ah, I've done that too. That's the love that I'm talking about, and so I want to congratulate you for all of the work and the love and the effort you've put in so far.

Speaker 2:

I also want to remind you that if you feel like you've been spinning your wheels and you feel like you're stuck, there's a chance that it's not the things in the world, it's not the processes or the systems, or I don't have enough followers. There's a chance that you haven't been giving enough love to yourself followers. There's a chance that you haven't been giving enough love to yourself. The most magnetic people in the world I've found, the most clear-minded people in the world I've found, are the ones that genuinely care about themselves, because then they care for themselves right. When you genuinely care about yourself and you love yourself, you eat your food, right. You eat, you drink water, you rest your body, you move your body, you do things that bring you joy, right.

Speaker 2:

So give yourself for the ways that you have been doing that Lovingly. Notice the ways that maybe you could give yourself a little bit more love, without judgment, and then take action or don't, right. Maybe for you, giving yourself more love means not taking action, but the purpose of today is notice all the ways in which you have given yourself love, notice what is working and, of course, because we are the well-rounded, high-achieving, creative human beings that we are, as I imagine the 30 of you sitting with me in the room. Your brain will notice the ways in which you can improve. Notice that. Take a few notes, but come back and remember all the ways that you've worked so hard to get to where you are right now.

Speaker 2:

Give yourself a little bit more credit. You're doing a really really good job. You're doing a lot of things that nobody sees. You're doing a lot of things that you're not getting credit for. So I want you to give yourself some credit and I want you to know that I'm giving you credit and I see you. You're doing a really, really good job. It's hard. I'm going to give you credit for that too. Life is hard. The work you're doing is hard. Becoming someone you've never been before is hard. Leaving old relationship is hard. Setting boundaries is hard and you're worth it and it's worth it. Take what sticks to you, leave the rest. I'll see you next week, next week. Hey friend, if you like this podcast, I would love it. If you give us a five star rating, share it with your friends. If you're interested in one-on-one coaching, if this podcast resonates with you and you're ready for some one-on-one support support for you and your journey. Go ahead to nandikamilcom to learn more, or head over to nandikamilasme to sign up for your free discovery call.