Micro Messages, Big Shifts

Your habits are never “just habits.” They’re constant, quiet signals to your brain about what you deserve, what matters, and whether you can trust yourself. I’m unpacking micro messaging, the tiny ways we communicate self-worth through what we do and what we keep avoiding, and how a small shift can change your entire self-concept over time.

This week on the podcast, we start with real-life cues like a car that stays messy for weeks, a morning that always feels rushed, or only cleaning up when someone else is coming over. Then we go deeper into the self-awareness piece: what message am I sending when I keep saying I’ll wake up earlier, journal, or move my body and I don’t follow through? That gap creates cognitive dissonance, and it slowly erodes self-trust. I share how I’ve had to get honest about what I actually want in different seasons, and why “trust times consistency equals confidence” is the simplest mindset tool I keep coming back to.

We also talk about more tender signs, like not wanting to shower when you’re in a depressive state, and how awareness without judgment helps you choose the next best positive step. You’ll leave with a practical framework: notice the current message, decide what message you want to send, and pick one aligned habit that proves it to your brain with action.

If this hits home, subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next, share it with a friend who needs a reset, and leave a five-star review so more people can find the show.

Join my group coaching program The Art of Magnetism starting June 2nd focused on confidence, identity work, mindset, neuroscience, and embodiment so you can co-create the life, love, and legacy you want. (Visit NandiCamille.com to learn more)

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Transcript

Welcome And Sponsor Message

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi friends, and welcome to Believe Like a Boss. I'm your host, Life Coach Nandi Camille. Join me as I teach you how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual alignment, and authentic action. I'll teach you how to create what I like to call a life of thrive with ease and authenticity. It's time to play with what's possible. Are you ready? Let's go.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

This episode is sponsored by The Art of Magnetism. It is my newest group coaching course. It's all about confidence and co-creation, being your most confident self so that you can co-create the reality that you want. If you're tired of playing small, feeling small, not feeling like you can use your voice, feeling like you're ready to be more confident so you can call in and have the life that you want, create those new results that you keep thinking about. Go to Nandicamille.com to learn more. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome back to another episode of Believe Like a Boss. I am your host, life coach, Nandi Camille. All right, my friends, welcome back to the podcast. I realized last time I listened to the podcast when I want to do snippets to post on social media and I'm listening to it in the background. I realized last time you could hear Frazier playing with his ball in my office while I was recording. So hopefully you will not hear him today. He is not in the office today. But Frazier says hi, he always says hi. We had a wonderful weekend. It's officially raining for like the next four days in Colorado and Denver. So we spent the weekend out in the mountains, just kind of honestly not even escaping the heat. That's normally what we do in the middle of summer, but it was raining a little bit more um in Denver than it was in the mountains. So we went up to the mountains this weekend. We went to Buna Vista, we went to Vale. Um, those places are very far apart. If you're in Colorado and you're listening, like what? So Saturday we went to Buna Vista after I had an event. Uh was it? I always want to call it Taste of Fitness. That's what it used to be called like five years ago, but it's now called the Fitness Sampler. Frazier has officially entered the office, so I apologize in advance if you hear him. My office door technically doesn't close. So it closes, but it

A Messy Office Door Lesson

SPEAKER_01 2:10

will not shut. Like I cannot lock the door. So anybody at any point can walk into my office, which is one thing that I probably should fix, which is actually, I think, the perfect segue into what we're talking about today, because today we're talking about your micromessaging via your habits. What are the messages that you're sending to yourself via the action you are or are not taking, which is what we're talking about all the time on the podcast. If you're new here, welcome. My name is Nandi Ramsa Gandhi. I'm a mindfulness-based life coach. I coach women, and now my friends' special announcement: I coach couples now as well. This is new, this is exciting, this is very nerve-wracking for me as well. But it's something that I've wanted to do for a very long time. Actually, since college, before I even decided I was going to be a life coach, I was working with groups. I wasn't working with couples per se, but I was working with groups. And when I was working with groups in college, I was like, I would really love to do this work with couples. I also grew up in a household that was uh volatile, um, to say the least. And you know what? There's a spectrum. Um, and I love my parents very much. And they, you know, had some work that they needed to do internally and with their mental health and within their relationship that they didn't do. So it caused a lot of turmoil in the household. My parents ended up being divorced when I was going off to college. But to be honest, I was raised in one of those households where the kid kind of just is like, why are y'all together? That's how I was growing up. I was like, I love both of you. I just don't understand why we're together because clearly this isn't working. But, you know, parents doing their best, they wanted to have a household where the mother and father were both in place, even if the mother and father were, I say this

Why I Now Coach Couples

SPEAKER_01 3:46

lovingly, crazy. And I say that lovingly because I truly believe that everybody's crazy. Everybody's crazy. We're just different kinds of crazy. And when we don't take care of ourselves, that's when the not great type, because there's good crazy, y'all. There is good crazy, but that's when like the not great, the not good crazy comes out, is when we don't take care of our mental health. We don't take care of our relationships. And so I grew up in a household where my parents fought a lot and fought in big ways. Um, we'll have to do story time another time for that. But from that, I was mediating uh arguments at 16, 17, 18 years old before I went off to college, which then I think is what got me into being an RA and being um on the ropes challenge course. I was just drawn towards leadership roles that meant that I was gonna do conflict resolution, right? As an RA when I'm working in the dorms, and we weren't allowed to call them dorms. We had to call them residence halls, just so you know. They were very strict about that. We are not dorms, we are elevated, these are residence halls. I'm like, it's the same thing. Anyway, when I was in that position, yes, I think people think automatically it's my job to like be rah-rah and have events. And then on the flip side, it was my job to like get kids in trouble. And that was just not the vibe I had as an RA. I always just told them, don't be dumb. That was literally my speech as an RA. It wasn't this whole list of rules, don't do this and do do that. It was just like, don't be dumb. Like, you know what you're here to do, which is to learn, to get an education and to have fun. And I know what I'm here to do, which is to have free room and board and to do my job well. And the way that I have to do my job is if if I hear ping pongs, if I smell weed, if there's these things going on that are not allowed in the halls, I have to because half the time there's a police person walking with us. Half the time it's just another student that's another RA that's walking with us. But I have to do my job. So make my job easy. And if you want to go smoke weed, go smoke weed off campus. Don't do it in this dorm where I can smell you. I was very, I think, down to earth. I was like, just don't be dumb. I'm an I know you're here to have fun. I want you to have fun. Do so in a way that's not going to get you in trouble. Please be smart about it. Really, truly be smart. And so, being in these leadership positions where I was managing conflict, I was felt very called that I could do this with couples. And so I am now opening up that channel of my coaching business. I'm working on that page on my website. So that's why you're not seeing the page on my website just yet. If you're listening to this in what is it, May 2026, that's coming. Um, but it's something I'm really excited about, something I'm passionate about, and something I'm also nervous about because when we do new things, the brain is like, what is happening? So that's a little mini update on what's happening over

Micro Messaging And Self-Awareness

SPEAKER_01 6:19

here. But what we're getting into today is micro messaging via your habits. And so for the next few episodes, last week we talked about knowing your weaknesses, which I really rooted in self-awareness, right? Knowing our weaknesses wasn't about knowing them so we can become, yes, we want to become the best versions of ourselves, but it's not to like beat ourselves up, it's to be self-aware. That was the purpose of knowing what our weaknesses are. And so we just want to continue to expand this theme of self-awareness. And so this week, when we're talking about micromessaging, often you'll hear me say, or people in this industry say, your subconscious limiting beliefs are keeping you stuck, right? And that I think can feel really heavy. Like my subconscious limiting beliefs, the parts of me that I can't even see are running my life. Technically, yes, right. 70%, I think, is the percentage of our thoughts and what's running us is subconscious, subconscious, not even like in the forefront of our brain. And so to help us become a little bit more self-aware and start to tap into a little bit more of that self-conscious, I wanted us to look at what are the micro messages we're sending to ourselves via our habits, via what we do and don't do. So, not just the habits we do follow through with, but also the other habits that we have the habit of not taking out the trash, right? So to speak. That could be both practical and metaphorical of not taking out the trash. But I have a few examples here of micro messages that you might be sending to yourself. As always, my friends, take what sticks to you, leave the rest. And if you want to go deeper, I have the art of magnetism that is loading. It's in two weeks. Come and join me. Like if you've been on the fence and you're thinking about some mean email, ask me a question about it, but it's going to be amazing. It truly is about changing your self-concept in a way that's aligned so you can truly call in what you want. And when I say call in, it's both the mindset piece of like thinking differently so you can feel differently, but then it's the practical piece. It's great to feel great, but are you taking action in alignment with the version of you that you say you want to be, right? We're really moving into action, but we're doing so mindfully first and foremost. So come and join me in the art of magnetism because we kick off real soon. But here's some examples of some of the messages you may or may not be sending to yourself.

The Car Cleanup Self-Worth Signal

SPEAKER_01 8:31

So the first one, this is where the podcast actually came from, this episode specifically, was when you do or don't clean out your car. I've noticed myself, this is a very easy cue for me to notice that I'm stepping out of alignment, that I'm living a little bit more messily, that I'm probably not upholding the boundaries that I say that I'm going to uphold is when my car is messy, not just messy for a day or messy for a couple of days, but when I notice it's been a few weeks now and my car is messy. There's things on the floor, there are stuff in the back. It's kind of just a disheveled, so to speak. What is the message that I'm sending to myself? Right. So when I'm giving you these examples, I want you to check in with you, what's true for you, because different things mean different things to different people, right? So, but when I don't clean out my car, it's a cue for me that I'm not upholding my best self, which is showing up, brush like with brushing my teeth and washing my face, I also clean my car. Like I want cleaning my car to be up there with brushing my teeth and washing my face. That it's something that I do regularly because when I do, there's a positive impact, right? So the message that I'm sending to myself when I don't clean out my car is that I don't care, it's not important, therefore I'm not that important. Right. These are these micro messages. They're not, I'm not overtly saying, you're not important because you don't clean out your car. But when I consistently don't clean out my car, I'm sending a message to myself that I'm not that important. And here's why. When I have a friend come and join me, let's say I'm going for a hike or I'm gonna, we're gonna carpool somewhere. If I have a friend that's getting in my car, you know that I've cleaned my car out. I've wiped off the dashboard. I've gotten any rogue clothes out of my car, I cleaned out the back seat just in case they're sitting in the back or they're gonna bring their dog, whatever it is, right? I've cleaned out the front seat so that they feel comfortable. Why do I do that? Why does anybody do that? Clean out the car when you have a guest. Because you care about that guest and you care about that guest's experience. You want them to have a good experience. You want them to get into a clean car, you care about them, right? And it's not to say that because you're getting into a messy car, you just inherently don't care about yourself, but there is a diminished level of care. That is the micro message, right? That I'm important, but I'm not that important. It's not that important to clean out my car, it's not that important that my space is clean. I'm not that important. But if somebody else came into your space and you you do clean it, right? So then you're sending a message that they're more important than you. When other people come over, then I'll clean my house because they're more important. It's important that the house is clean for them, it's not important that it's clean for me, it's not important that I have clean things. Notice what are the micro messages you're sending to yourself.

Waking Up Early And Self-Trust

SPEAKER_01 11:20

Here's another example. When you keep getting up late or later than you say you want to. Getting up late, quote, late, right, that is so subjective. You get to determine what that means. For some people, 7 a.m. is waking up late. For some people, 8:30 a.m. is waking up late. For some people, 11 a.m., 2 p.m. is waking up late. You determine what that is. But if what you've said to yourself is I'm going to start getting up earlier so that I can meditate, so I can work out, so I can have five minutes to drink my tea before my kids get up. And you're not doing it, what is the message you're sending to yourself? Let's flip that around. Let's say you said I do want to start getting up earlier so I can have that cup of tea before my kids get up. So I can do what is it in um What book am I reading? The Artist's Way. You can do your morning pages, right? I want to have, I think it's five or three minutes that you set your timer for and you do your morning pages. That's just morning journaling, right? I want to get up earlier to do that and I'm getting up earlier. I'm following through and I'm doing it. What message are you sending to yourself then? Right? This is this is the self-awareness work that we get to do that when we can slow down and notice, there are some micro ways in which we can clean up our energy. And if you've noticed I'm not getting up earlier and I keep saying I want to, is it true? Do you actually want to get up earlier? Because sometimes that's the case. Sometimes it's the case that we say we want something, but we don't actually want it. And so we need to stop saying that we want it because saying that we want it and not doing it is causing cognitive dissonance, which is breaking down our trust with ourselves. Right? So if you say, I want to wake up at 5 a.m. every morning, but you don't actually want to, adjust to what you actually want. I had to do this recently with myself. I was like, I'm not getting up at five in the morning. And honestly, I don't really want to right now, right? There is a time and a place where I did want to get up every morning at five in the morning. I'm not there right now. I want to occasionally, so usually Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, I'll get up for a 6 a.m. class, but I'm no longer in the space where I want to do it every single day. And I've made peace with that. I've said it's okay. Right? So check in. What is the message you're sending to yourself when you say you want to get up earlier, but you're not?

Showering, Depression, And Upward Spirals

SPEAKER_01 13:40

What about when you don't shower or don't wash your face? Again, I all of these came from personal experience and from working with my clients. For me, when I don't shower, I know that sounds really gross, you guys, but I'm I'm always gonna be honest and transparent on this podcast. When I feel depressed, when I'm in a depressive state, I don't want to shower and I won't shower. Because when I'm in a depressive state, it's a state of I'm not worthy, it's not worth it, it doesn't even matter, nothing matters anyway. Right. So the micro message I send to myself is I don't matter. So I'm not gonna bathe. I don't even matter, nothing matters. So it doesn't matter if I if I shower. This one I think is really important for me, at least in particular, because this one is a very strong cue for me that I'm in a depressive state. I think that's the other message here is right. When you're looking, when you're becoming self-aware and you're looking at your habits, you're looking at your how you show up, your behavior. Our self-awareness, again, our mindfulness, awareness without judgment, allows us to look at these patterns of behavior and decide do I still want to do this or do I not? Again, the point here is never to beat ourselves up, never to be like, well, you should be doing this. Look at how poorly you're showing up for yourself. No. Hmm, isn't it so interesting that I'm not showering? That tells me that I'm sending a message to myself that I'm not that important. What would I like to do next? Truly just lovingly talking to myself through that. When I notice that I'm not showering, when I notice that I'm not doing the thing, I then will force myself to on purpose do it. Maybe I'm not in the mood to shower because I'm feeling depressed, but I know that the message I'm going to send to myself when I shower is I matter. I take care of myself and I care about myself. So I'm going to put my butt in the shower even though I don't feel like it right now. And when I do that, when I lovingly notice I'm sending a message to myself that I don't care about myself, I then get to lovingly decide what I want to do next. And some days, if we're being honest, we just mope. We're like, I don't feel like being worthy. I don't feel like getting in the shower, right? And sometimes that is what it is. And other times I get to notice and be like, you know what? I don't really feel like getting in the shower right now, and I am feeling depressed. But I know that if I do get in the shower, I'm going to send a new message to myself and I'm going to start to upward spiral. That's how we create the upward spiral, is by deciding on purpose what is the next best positive step I can take for myself. Here's another micro message that you might be sending to yourself, or check in on the micro message you might be sending to yourself based on this habit. When you get dressed, or when you don't get dressed, think about how you get dressed. Do you get up early enough to pick out an outfit that makes you feel good? Do you take the time the night before to pick out an outfit that makes you feel good? Or are you waking up and you're rushing to grab things? You don't really care about what you put on your body. It doesn't really matter what you put on your body because nobody cares what you put on your body, right? Listen to those messages. What is the message you're sending to yourself based on how you're getting ready in the morning? Are you rushing around? Do you have enough time to slow down and put on something that you really enjoy? Do you take the time to check in and look in the mirror before you leave and make sure you feel good about what you have on your body that it's sending the right message to yourself and to others? What is the message you're sending to yourself based on how you get up in the morning? Based on how you dress yourself in the morning, based on how you're moving through your morning, what are the messages you're sending to yourself?

Movement Builds Confidence Through Consistency

SPEAKER_01 17:25

When you move your body, how you move your body, how often you move your body. This is similar to that 5 a.m. wake-up call. Right? If you're saying I want to work out three times a week and you're not doing it, what is the message you're sending to yourself? It doesn't matter. I won't lose the weight anyway. I don't want to, I'm too scared to go to the gym. The gym is too scary, the people there are too scary, I'm not brave enough to go. Conversely, if you said I am going to go three times a week and you start going, what is the message you're sending to yourself then? Even though I'm afraid of lifting heart heavy weights, even though I'm nervous about being in a new space, I trust myself. I believe that I can do this. The weight will come off. I can be as healthy as I've decided that I can be. I can trust myself because when I say what I'm gonna do and I follow through, I've now built trust with myself. I know that I do what I'm going to say. Notice when you say you're gonna do something and you follow through, you gain trust with yourself, right? That's my formula for confidence. Confidence is just trust times consistency. Conversely, when you continue to not show up and do the things that you say you're going to do, you break down the trust with yourself because your brain starts noticing your brain's always watching you. Imagine your brain is like a separate like person almost sometimes. It helps me. Your brain is observing you. And when you continue to say you're going to do something, say you want to do something and then don't do it, you're sending a message to yourself that I cannot be trusted because I keep saying I'm gonna do it, I'm not gonna do it. Again, imagine a friend. Let's bring this all the way outside of yourself. A friend keeps telling you, I'm gonna show up at five, I'm gonna show up at five, I'm gonna show up at five every single time you guys set up a day, and they always show up an hour late. You're not going to trust them anymore. You're gonna trust that they're gonna show up an hour late based on their actions, right? Not their words. Your brain's doing the same thing, it's watching your actions. It loves our words. Affirmations are great and they are important and they do help us with rewiring our brain. But more than the words, the actions tell the brain, tell ourselves what we actually care about, if we can trust ourselves, if we are trustworthy, if we love ourselves, if we're actually going to follow through, your brain is always watching you, it's always observing. So check in. What are the messages you're sending to yourself based on what you are doing and based on what you're not doing?

When Things Go Wrong, Act

SPEAKER_01 19:55

When something doesn't go your way, notice what is the next step you take from that place. Is it that you've given up? Let's say go back to all the way to the beginning of my business. The first time I had that event and nobody showed up, what did I do after that? I went upstairs because it was in the basement of uh this boutique. If you've heard this story, you're hearing it again. If you're new here, welcome. It was in the bottom of a boutique, nobody was there, nobody showed up for this event that I was hosting. From that place, I went upstairs and I went and I talked to people. I just said, hey, I'm a life coach, I'm having this event. There's nobody actually here for the event. So if you want some one-on-one coaching, I would love to coach you for free. I'm just offering it. I ended up giving a three 30-minute coaching session to one of the ladies that was in the shop. She ended up being a client. But had I not, had I like packed up my table and just decided like nobody's here, I'm just gonna go home. The message I would have sent to myself is it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that I showed up, it was a failure, just go home. But instead, the message I decided to send to myself was I have something to give, and I can help people, and I want to help people. I know I can help people, and I know I'm going to help people. So I went upstairs and I helped people. Your actions are the result truly of your thoughts. That's why we do so much thought work here. So that's why we always come back to what are the thoughts you have about yourself and about your life. Those thoughts are influencing everything you're doing. But sometimes it's hard to start with the thoughts. It's hard to like understand what we're thinking up in our brain. So sometimes starting with the action, observing ourselves, moving through the world is so much more impactful. Cause then we can see, oh, I must be thinking that I'm not worth it because I don't go to the gym at all, even though I say I want to. And listen, folks, if you're not a gym girly, you're not a gym girl. I'm not trying to push that either. I'm not a gym girly. I go to a pure bar boutique fitness. I do yoga. I have a Peloton, right? So move your body in the way you want to move your body. That's just a really easy example.

Choose One Aligned Habit Shift

SPEAKER_01 22:11

The point of this podcast today is that if you want to create change, you can. My first step for y'all today is be loving to yourself. As you're noticing, oh, I'm not cleaning out my car. I didn't clean out my wallet like I said I was going to. I didn't sign up for that class like I said I was going to. I haven't done the things I said I was going to do. Notice. And then check in. Why might I not be doing the things I want to do? Don't spend too much time here, honestly. I don't think that it's actually super helpful to spend a ton of time here. Look at it. Why might I not be showing up? Oh, because I'm afraid of going to a new place, because I've never done this, because I don't think I can afford it, because I don't think it's sustainable, whatever your reason is. But then I want you to go to the version of you who you most want to be. And this can be in a grand way or in a small way, right? The version of you who you most might want to be might be a version of you who is always five minutes early to everything, right? Or you might be more grandiose. And it's like I'm speaking on stages, I have a podcast, I have a hundred thousand followers. Whatever version is your best, you get to decide. You get to decide. And then from there, start with one thing. What is one thing you can change? If you want to speak on stages, what is one way in which you can start speaking in front of people more often and then follow through with it? If you're wanting to be not late to everything, what is one, what is the version of you who's not late, first of all? What do they think about themselves? I'm always on time, I'm always early, I'm so prepared, I'm always proactive, right? And then what is one habit that that version of you has? They're in their planner the night before they go to bed every single night so they know what to expect the next day and they set their alarm accordingly. You decide. Right? So lovingly notice, then reflect what messages am I currently sending to myself based on my current behavior? What message do I want to send? So if you want to shift your behavior, how do I want to shift it? And then what are the thoughts and actions that are required in order for this behavior to exist? If I'm going to be a person that is always on time or early, what do I need to think, feel, and do to create that result? Whatever result you want to create, what do you want to think, feel, and do in order to create that result? I don't know is not the right answer. And I know for some of us, it's like, I don't know. I've never created this result before. What do you think is the best next step? That's where we get to learn how to trust ourselves. Right? Trust times consistency equals confidence. You will gain confidence by consistently trusting yourself. And if you haven't consistently trusted yourself in a while, it's gonna feel really funky at first. It just is like, can I trust myself? I've been going to AI, I've been going to my sister, I've been going to other people outside of myself, this one influencer online for a really long time, asking them for advice. And it's not that asking for outside advice is inherently wrong. I just want you to get used to asking yourself the question first. Asking yourself for where do I get this resource? What is the answer to my question? Ask yourself first and notice what comes up. Then from there, you will be guided to the aligned resources that you need. As always, my friends, take what sticks to you, leave the rest.

Coaching Invites And Closing Ask

SPEAKER_01 25:30

If you want one-on-one coaching, come and find me. Hello at nautycamille.com is my email. We have the art of magnetism, like I said, starting on June 2nd. You don't want to miss it, honestly. It's going to be so good. We're blending neuroscience, mindfulness, action. We're going deeper. Basically, what we're doing right here on the podcast, everything that we talk about, we're going to apply to your life. It's going to be a small group or a large group. We'll see what the numbers end up with. Large being no more than like 15 women. But it's going to be a group of women. And this is specifically for women who are wanting to create change. I'm ready to create change. I'm ready to feel better about myself. I'm ready to shift the way I see myself and to raise my self-esteem so I can align with the opportunities, resources, results that I want to create. If you're tired of feeling stuck, this is for you. Everything that I create is for you to move past stuckness, step into alignment, and create the results you want to create. Yes, you can. Like I said, take what sticks to, leave the rest. I'll see you next week.

SPEAKER_00 26:37

Hey, friend, if you like this podcast, I would love it if you give us a five star rating. Share it with your friends.

SPEAKER_01 26:43

If you're interested in one on one coaching, if this podcast resonates with you and you're ready for some one on one support, support for you and your journey, go ahead to nandicamille.com to learn more or head over to nandicamille.as.me to sign up for your free discovery call.