When Motivation Vanishes

Motivation doesn’t disappear for no reason. Sometimes it’s buried under pressure, shame, resistance, or a story you’ve been repeating for years without realizing it.

We’re halfway through the year, and I’m giving you a gentle but direct reset for the days when you want the goal, you can picture the goal, but you still cannot get yourself to move. We start by taking the pressure off, because you are not behind and you are not broken. From there, we get honest about follow-through without using self-criticism as a “strategy,” then I walk you through five reminders I lean on when I feel unmotivated: reconnect with your why and check if it still fits, notice whether your body expands or contracts around the goal, and remember that we chase outcomes because of how we think we’ll feel once we have them.

You’ll also hear how subconscious stories quietly shape discipline, happiness, and results, plus a practical way to borrow confidence from the future version of you who already has what you want. We talk purpose, the power of removing “can’t” from your vocabulary, and the difference between doing it scared versus doing it resistant. The goal is aligned action and sustainable motivation, not forcing and burning out.

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Transcript

Welcome And Take The Pressure Off

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi friends, and welcome to Believe Like a Boss. I'm your host, Life Coach Nandi Camille. Join me as I teach you how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual alignment, and authentic action. I'll teach you how to create what I like to call a life of thrive with ease and authenticity. It's time to play with what's possible. Are you ready? Let's go.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome back to another episode of Believe Like a Boss. I am your host, life coach, Nandi Camille. Welcome back, my friends. Welcome back to another week, another episode. I hope that your weekend was fantastic. I hope that you are feeling good, grounded in your body. Remember, we are never looking for 100% happiness 100% of the time. That is not the objective. So if you are feeling funky this morning because you're like, my life is not 100% together. I'm not 100% happy all of the time. My advice, my two cents, my three cents for you this morning is to take the pressure off. Whenever you're listening to this, might be the middle of the night, maybe because you can't sleep. What an honor to be the person that you're listening to if you can't sleep right now, actually. Take the pressure off, though. You're not behind. You're not broken. There's nothing wrong with you. All the disclaimers, if you need any of those, take the ones you need, leave what doesn't serve you. But there's nothing wrong with you. You are not behind. Take the pressure off. I don't know who needed that top of the morning, but let me give that to you.

Midyear Check In Without Shame

SPEAKER_01 1:25

So today we're talking about when the motivation isn't there. I've done other podcast episodes like this, but I'm feeling called. It is halfway through 2026. We are moving through the year. And as we're moving through the year, this is really a time where uh we're invited to, we don't always, but we're invited to check in halfway through the year, six months of the year. How is it going so far? How are you feeling about the first half of this year and how you've spent it versus now we're going into the second half of the year? That's not what we're talking about, but that's a really great check-in. How do you feel about the first part of this year? And then how are you feeling based on that information about the second half of this year, right? If nothing changes, nothing changes. So that reflection and go back a few episodes because we talked about reflection and the importance of it, but that reflection really helps to set us up for success as we define success for the latter half of the year. But often when we're doing this reflection, when we're checking in, some of us are feeling really good, feeling really good about how we've spent this year, feeling really good about the action that we've taken. We have seen an improvement in our results via how we're thinking about ourselves, how we're feeling about ourselves, the action we're taking, and then therefore the results that we're getting. And some of us are on the other end. There's a spectrum always, right? You might be in the middle where I'm getting some of the results that I want. I'm not hitting the other results that I don't want, or I'm getting results that I don't want. I'm a little bit in between. Also, great opportunity to reflect what is working that's getting you the results that you want, and what is not working that's getting you opposite results. And you could be on the complete other end of the spectrum, right? We go from everything is working out, I'm in flow, uh, my thoughts are working, my actions are working. Again, it's not a hundred percent happiness when you're in this place, but you are generally feeling grounded, connected to yourself, to your community, confident, in alignment, like the plans that you're making are coming into place, even if some things aren't falling exactly right, right? You might be on that end, or you might be on the opposite end where it feels like nothing is working out. You are beating yourself up constantly, you are frustrated constantly, you are annoyed, you are irritable. You don't understand why you're so irritable, and yet you're isolating yourself. You don't really want to be around your friends because you're so irritable and you're in such a bad mood and you're such a bad funk. I don't want to be around other people because I I don't want to spread this funk around. So I'm just gonna keep it over here until it gets better, but it's not getting better, but it's not getting better, but it's not getting better. You might be there. Wherever you are, motivation hits us differently in different seasons. And so, this podcast episode, we're talking about when the motivation is not there, when you're not feeling motivated, maybe because you haven't hit all of the goals, or maybe because you haven't hit any of the goals, or maybe it's a completely different reason as to why you're not feeling motivated right now. Maybe you don't know why you're not feeling motivated right now. You're like, I want this thing, I say I want this thing, I visualize the thing. It's on my vision board. I have a vision board on my phone, I have a vision board in my office. I look at these things, but I'm not taking the action. And I'm not totally sure

Honest Accountability Without Self Hate

SPEAKER_01 4:25

why. And maybe you do know why, and I think that that's really valid before I even say anything about like, here's tip number one, here's tip number two. Maybe you already know why. Maybe you already know exactly why you're not taking any action, but you're not just not being honest with yourself or you're not willing to look at it, or it hurts too much to look at it, right? The honest truth is that I'm not making progress because I'm not following through on the thing that I said. The thing that I said was I was gonna wake up every single morning at 5:30 in the morning to give myself 30 more minutes. Whereas I was waking up at six and I was rushing out the door. I said I was gonna give myself 30 more minutes. I know that if I give myself that extra time, I will have a better day. It will set me up for success. But every single time that alarm goes off at 5:30 in the morning, I hit snooze, I get up at six, and I wonder why my results haven't changed. Let's be honest. And that is, I'm I say tough love, but I say it so lovingly. It's never meant to beat yourself up. Sometimes being honest with yourself doesn't feel good. And it's not from a place of mean you should have done this. It's just from a place of, hey, you said you were gonna do this and you didn't. What's going on? That's the place we're asking it from. That's the place we are holding ourselves accountable from, not from a place of why you didn't you do this. You always say you want to do this, but you don't. That's not gonna get you anywhere. Being mean to yourself, beating yourself up is not gonna motivate you, my friend. I have fallen into this trap myself where we think that being mean to ourselves is gonna motivate us, it's not. Right? So let's start there. You might already know why you haven't changed your results, right? Let's be honest about that. And then let's be clear that beating yourself up is not a way to motivate yourself, right? But when the motivation isn't there, what do we do?

Reconnect With Your Why

SPEAKER_01 6:05

I have five little bullet points, little uh offerings for you. What do we do when we're not feeling motivated? Slash reminders. First of all, you've heard this before. I'm reminding you again, connect with your why. When I'm teaching bar classes, when I'm having women in a room where I am physically making them uncomfortable, right? When you go to a fitness class, not all fitness classes, but at least for when I'm in bar, when you're in hit, when you're in certain, maybe you're lifting weights, right? As the coach, as the personal trainer that is helping people, you know that you are putting them in a position of discomfort. But they have chosen to be placed in a position of discomfort because that's where they're going to grow. They know that by lifting this heavy weight, I'm going to grow. They know that when they walk into that bar space and when they walk into the studio, they know I'm gonna have them do a push-up, they know I'm gonna have them do a plank, they know I'm gonna have them do tucking and all these other movements that are going to be uncomfortable. And so I asked them while we're in there, what is your why? Why did you show up? Why did you walk into these doors today? Why did you show up for the bar class? Why did you walk into the gym today? Why do you want to start the podcast? Why do you want to have a family? Why do you want to get married? What is your why? Why do you want to run the marathon? Why do you want to learn the language? Why do you want to travel abroad? And if the first answer, let's just be honest, is to be cool, because I feel like that would make me cool, just be honest about that. Because my parents want me to do that and then they would be proud of me. Just be honest about that. Because I that's always what I was told that I need to do next. I need to get a promotion, I need to be in finance, I need to get married, I need to have 2.5 kids. That was my why. That's why I'm going after this, because somebody else told me to. Because somebody else told me that that is how I become successful, because my family told me that, because my culture told me that, because my teacher told me that. What is your why? And then check in does your why still stand? This is where I think that my thought process around this is a little bit different than what you normally hear. Normally it's like, what is your why? Connect with that, keep going. Here, I'm gonna pull. We're I always say this in coaching when I'm working with a client. We're gonna peel that onion layer back another. I got that from Shrek, right? We're gonna peel the onion layer another layer deeper. Yeah, we connect with your why. Okay, but then when you connect with your why, does your why still stand? Why did you want to start the business? Because I wanted financial freedom. I wanted to make my own schedule, I wanted to work for myself and not work for somebody else. Cool. That might have been your why six months ago, three years ago, ten years ago. Is that still your why? Is that why you want to have the business? Maybe your why has changed. You're like, well, I before it was like I didn't want to work for somebody else, but now I'm really finding that I love working with people and I love working on teams. I just need a better boss, right? And so maybe it's not about starting the business anymore. It's about joining a team that supports you, that loves you, that sees you fully, that allows you to use your skills in a way that feels an alignment. But check in with your why. And then from there, does that why still stand? Is this still something that you want? Is this still something that's in alignment for you? Is that why still something that lights you up? And here's the question that I like to ask clients: does this make you expand or contract? When you think about what you want and then you think about your why beneath it, does it make you expand or contract? If it makes you contract, it doesn't mean that it's a no, that, but it does mean that there's some thoughts that are resistant to what you're wanting to do, which makes sense why you're not feeling motivated. It makes sense why you're feeling resistance. There's a thought there that's making you contract. We need to look at that thought. Maybe your why to start the business is because I want to make so much more money than I could working for somebody else, right? But then when you think about making so much more money than you can make working for somebody else, your body contracts because that means that you have to get into sales. That means that you have to sell a product or a service. And then you have some thoughts about selling a product or service that are getting in your way. That's why we have to peel these layers back. That's what we do in coaching. Peeling these layers back. What is your why? Do you like your why? If you don't, then we get to check in what's important to you now. But first and foremost, if you're not feeling motivated, get quiet, get mindful. Awareness without judgment. What is your why? Do you like your why? Second

Borrow Feelings From Future You

SPEAKER_01 10:18

reminder here: we only want something because of how we think we will feel in the having of it. This quote blew my mind when I first heard it. The only reason we want anything is because of how we believe we will feel in the having of the thing. So this is also a really great check-in. So, again, let's say you want to start the business. How do you think you will feel once your business is not only started but is profitable? How do you think you will feel when you are married? For some of you, that's what you come to me about, right? I'm I'm ready to align with a person who supports me, I support them, I want that. All right. How do you think you will feel when you have that person? For the person that's looking to have, I want 20,000 followers on my social media. How do you think you will feel in the having of that? Right? That is a really great motivator for me. I don't wait until I have X amount in my bank account, this type of person around me, this type of deal to feel good, right? I decide I was like, okay, well, I wanna, I wanna go to Paris. I want to travel abroad, right? I'm not feeling super motivated in planning it and getting it set up, and check in there. Why aren't you feeling super motivated? Because I don't believe it's gonna happen, because I think that it's gonna be too expensive. Often we're not motivated truly because there's a limiting belief in the way. I don't think that I can because, right? And so the way that we can sort of circumvent that limiting belief is go to the version of you who already has it. The version of you who already has it doesn't have that limiting belief. The version of you who already has it, how are they feeling? Expansive, excited, confident. What I like to do with my clients and with myself is I go to that version of me who already has what I want. I feel those feelings, literally. Sit down, I feel those feelings. And then I stand up and I show up from that place. The version of me who already has what they want isn't resistant, isn't like, what if this doesn't work? They're like, well, if it doesn't work, then I'm gonna try something else. Because the dream is going to work. How we get there might change, right? And when you're locked in that way, your motivation comes back. When you know that what you want, that what's been placed on your heart is inevitably going to happen. When little snags, when you don't hit the sales, when you don't hit the sales marker, we'll say that you want, when the person doesn't give you the promotion, when the person doesn't pick you for the job, you don't shut down. You say, Oh, okay, well, that door closed, I'm gonna go a different way. If you truly believe that what you want is yours, right? Go to that version of you who already has it, how do they feel? And then try to show up from that place. The only reason we want anything is because of how we believe we will feel in the having of it. The hack is feeling that way ahead of time, which I know feels crazy. I work with clients like on this all of the time. Nandi, what do you mean you want me to show up as if I already make $10,000 in my bank account? What does that mean? That means that you're organized. That means that you have systems that work. The version of you who is regularly making that level of income, how are they showing up differently than how are you showing up now? That motivates me. As always, my friends, take what sticks you, leave the rest. If any of these tips don't resonate, don't worry about it. It's not for you.

Happiness Is A Choice Plus Old Stories

SPEAKER_01 13:49

Number three, this one is more of a reminder than a piece of advice, but a reminder is happiness is a choice, not a destination. And that goes hand in hand with what we just said, right? Because so many times we put our happiness somewhere else. Oh, I won't be happy until then. That's likely why you're not feeling motivated. I won't be happy until I've signed the clients. I won't be happy until I'm fully working for myself. I won't be happy until I've met the partner. I won't be happy until we have two healthy kids. Happiness is a choice, not a destination. Stop waiting to be happy, stop waiting to be motivated, right? You have to choose happiness, you have to choose motivation. And some might argue, well, there's definitely times where I just like I feel more motivated. Your thoughts are likely in alignment and you've chosen that it's going to work out, and that's where your motivation is coming from. Right? Happiness, motivation is a choice. Are you choosing to be in lack? And I know that's hard to hear, so I say it with love. But anytime we choose fear over love, we're choosing lack, we're choosing scarcity, we're choosing victim mentality. And it doesn't really always feel like a choice. Let me also say that. It doesn't always feel like a conscious choice that we're making. And that's why I think mindfulness is so important because there's a lot that's going on in our subconscious that is driving our decision making. So it doesn't really feel like we're making the choice when really we are. As we walk through life and we decide to tell ourselves stories, like when everybody else got cars when I was in uh high school, everybody else got it, it felt that way at least. It felt like everybody else got a car. Everybody else's parents gave them a car. And my parents, it was not even a discussion at all. It was never like, oh, when you turn 15, we're gonna get you a car. Oh, when you turn 16, oh, if you raise this amount of money, we'll match it. It was literally never a discussion in my household at all. It was like, oh, uh, you're gonna pay for everything in your life. Figure it out. That was a household I was raised in. You will be paying for college. You, if you want a car, you need to figure it out. Like that was there wasn't even a conversation about you need to figure out. There's just literally no conversation about me ever having a car at all, ever. And I had watched all these other people get cars. And so I internally told myself the story, and this was subconscious. I had to catch it years later that I must not be good enough. Or that happens, good things happen for other people, or other people who have those kinds of parents have better lives. And I'm just always gonna be over here because I got these kinds of parents. Notice what are the stories you're telling yourself about your life, right? As long as I continue to tell the story, oh, that happens for other people. That doesn't happen for me. Other people get nice things, not me. Right? There's a story there, and it makes sense that when at certain points in my life when I wanted nicer things, I didn't feel motivated to get them because I was telling myself a story that nice things don't come to me, nice things don't happen to me. Because I had logically looked at my environment as a child, and that was the subconscious story that I started to tell myself. And it's not until we bring these stories to the surface that we can make a difference. And that's why I truly, truly believe mindfulness is so important. Awareness without judgment, just being aware of ourselves, how we walk through the world world, the stories that we're telling ourselves, the stories that we're telling other people about our lives. And so often we just think of the, oh, this is just how it is, right? These stories that we tell, oh, this is just how it is. I've just always been this way, I've just always lived this life. It's just always been easier for other people. Notice. If you want to be happy, if you want to be wealthy, if you want to be motivated, choose those things. Choose those things for yourself. It is safe for you to be happy, it is safe for you to be wealthy, it is safe for you to feel motivated, even if you're scared. I want to add that.

Purpose And The Word You Drop

SPEAKER_01 17:43

Number four purpose. I find that synonymous with connecting with your why, but that it might feel a little bit different if you say it this way is purpose. What do you feel like you were put on this planet to do? I'm gonna ask it again. What do you feel like you are put on this planet to do? Purpose. What is your purpose? And for whatever reason, when I was writing out this podcast, this came up for me, and I sat with it for a second. I was like, well, isn't this similar to like connecting with your why? And again, I'm just me talking to me slash spirit. Like, isn't this similar to connecting to your why? But it really did feel different when I asked the question, what do you feel like you are put on this planet to do? Just notice what comes up. What came up for me was like, may people smile, feel, and heal. That came up so clearly. And when I thought about that, motivation started to click in. I was like, oh, yeah, that's what I'm meant to do. May people smile, feel, and heal. My brain just came up with all these new ideas of ways that I can do all of the above. What do you feel like you're put on this planet to do? And just lovingly notice whatever comes up and then lovingly notice if there's another part of you that's like, oh, you can't do that. When I was doing this, I may have spoken about this on the podcast already, but I was doing this work with a client recently. And when we went through it, I we went through her list of all the things she wanted to do. And she was like, at the end of it, I asked her, How do you feel about all of this? How do you feel about, you know, this list of wants and desires, this life that we're creating? She said, The audacity. Like, that's what my brain, that's what her spirit said, was like, the audacity that you have to want all of these things. Notice that. Note if the notice if there's ever a part of you that's like, oh, you can't. That'd be nice if you could, but you can't. I'm so always so grateful for my father in those moments because growing up we were just sincerely not allowed to say the word can't. We were not. And so I want to offer that to you. What if you took can't out of your vocabulary? Like just completely took it out. You can. You absolutely can. You can. Notice what happens.

Flow Instead Of Force

SPEAKER_01 19:52

Last but not least, what are you trying to force? Just a quick quick check-in question. What are you trying to force? Sometimes we're feeling unmotivated because we've been trying to force. And we're tired of forcing. We're tired of it feeling hard. We're tired of this resistance and overcoming the resistance. And I think that we we get into this area because we hear things like do it scared. And I would agree with the thought, do it scared, but I would not agree with do it resistant. I want you to clean up as much of your resistance as you can, right? If there's a level of fear, there's always going to be a level of resistance. So there are times when we're taking action even with resistance. But uh what I really love to look at is if you're feeling resistant, that is avoidant to the thing that you say you want to do, that duplicity, I want to, but I can't because go through that sentence. I want to, but I can't because. Look at that because. And then here's my follow-up question. What would it look like to flow instead? What would it look like to flow instead of force? Right? In flowing, you're still gonna get all of your work done, you're still gonna get all of your needs met. You might even be flowing in fear, right? There might be a little bit of fear that's present, but what would it look like to be in flow instead of forcing? What happens when I ask that question? Comes up in your brain when you think about what it would look like to flow instead of force. Now, there are times where we have to overcome resistance within ourselves. We have to put ourselves in uncomfortable situations in order for growth to occur. But even from that place, I always want it to be in alignment. Right? You can be a little bit afraid, you can be uncertain of what's going to happen, you can be uncomfortable, but I truly believe you can still be in flow. And in flow, what I mean by that when I say that is in alignment. Right? You can be uncomfortable in alignment. That is doing the work that you say that you want to do, maybe waking up 30 minutes earlier, maybe signing up for that class, maybe signing up. Up for coaching, maybe starting the website, maybe joining a group. Maybe all of those things are uncomfortable, but they're in alignment because they are in connection with the very best version of you as you have defined who your best self is. Instead of forcing, right? Think about it this way Let's say that you have signed up for a networking event and you are going because you want to meet new people, you want to truly expand your network. It could be an opportunity to make a new friend, it could be an opportunity to align with a client. Normally, when I feel like I'm forcing, it's from this place of I need to find clients here. I need to find clients at this next thing. I need to make sure I make a connection here. That's from a place of forcing. I'm trying to force the result versus I'm gonna go, I'm gonna meet new people. Of course, I would love to meet somebody that would love to be a client, but I'm gonna go openly and I'm gonna connect with whoever I connect with, and I'm gonna trust the process. Can you hear and feel the difference? I feel the difference as I'm talking through both of those because I've been in both places. You will feel a difference in your visceral body when you are in flow versus when you are forcing. When you're not feeling motivated, you're likely feeling resistant, you're likely feeling like you're forcing things. You might be feeling dead inside, maybe nothing at all. I don't even feel anything anymore. That's why I'm not motivated, that's why I'm not taking any action. So again, our check-ins are what is your why? Why did you start in the first place? And do you still like your why? Because you are allowed to change your mind. If you don't like your why, if you're ready to pivot, then pivot. Give yourself permission to pivot. But if it's not about the pivot and you do like your why, then check in. You only want something because of how you think you will feel in the having of it. So how do you think you will feel when you sign those clients? When your podcast hits that many downloads, when you become a singer-songwriter, when Oprah invites you to be in her magazine, when you get invited to do a TED talk, how do you think you will feel when that happens? When you have your first, second, third child, when you meet the person and say I do to that partner that's gonna love you and support you. How do you think you will feel when you're out of the relationship that's no longer serving you? Whether it's a work relationship or a romantic relationship, when you've spoken clearly about the thing that's been so heavy on your heart to the person that needs to hear it, how do you think you will feel once that is complete? Then feel that way ahead of time. And again, I know that that is hard. So try to feel it for five seconds. How do I think I will feel when I am a TED Talk speaker? When I've written a book and it's a bestseller? How do you think you will feel? Hold on to that feeling for five, 10 seconds. Just notice how it feels. Bring up that feeling in your body. Don't wait to get there. Feel it now. Because, third one, happiness is a choice. Happiness, motivation, discipline, they're all a choice. Joy, it's a choice. Do they come up sporadically? 110%. And you have a lot more influence in how you're feeling than we give ourselves credit for. You can choose to be happy by choosing your thoughts that are in alignment with your best self. Maybe you haven't hit the goal, but you can still tell yourself, I'm on my way. It's happening. I'm so excited for the three new clients that are coming through this month. These are the things I'm gonna do with them. I'm so excited to work with them. Like happiness is a choice. What are the thoughts you're choosing? Purpose. What do you feel like you were put on this planet to do? Check in every once in a while. Just ask yourself that question, see what comes up. And then that last one again is what are you trying to force? And what would it look like to flow instead? As always, my friends, take what sticks to you, leave the rest. I hope that you have a super motivated week because you chose motivation, you chose discipline. You also chose not to force it, you chose to flow, you chose to love yourself through, you chose to pivot when you needed to pivot. Play the game, my friends. Be the trickster. I think it's Glenn and Doyle that says that. Be the trickster with life, right? Just because a door closes doesn't mean that it's that it's over. It means that that door closed. Again, video game mentality. When you're at the end of that level, what happens? It gets harder. There's big old balls with spikes swinging from the ceiling. There's lava on the floor, right? If that's where you feel like you are, you're about to hit your next level, my friend. At least it serves me to think that. When I think that, it gives me the motivation to truly keep going, to flow with life. I will continue to progress 110%. There's no other option. There's no such thing as behind. I will only move forward. And maybe it didn't look the way I thought it was going to look, but that doesn't mean that I'm incompetent. That doesn't mean that I can't do it. It just means it's going to come to fruition maybe a little bit differently than I anticipated, but it's still going to happen. Are you connected to your vision? Are you connected to your why? Are you choosing happiness? Are you choosing joy? Or are you choosing to be a victim? Are you choosing to fight for your limitations? I can't because it's too hard because it only happens for other people. It sounds like you're telling the news, right? This is just what it is, but those stories are influencing everything. Your thoughts influence your feelings, your feelings influence your actions, your actions influence your results. If you want new results, you need to think new thoughts.

New Thoughts Plus Coaching Invite

SPEAKER_01 27:29

Period. And if you want help with this, my friends, the Art of Magnetism kicks off August 5th. We're starting our next round. It's a group coaching course. It is all about being your most confident self, but being your most confident self comes from knowing yourself. So we're going to spend time getting to know you, who you are right now in this current state of life, understanding what it means to be your most confident self. Now, taking practical steps. You have a community of women with you doing this work alongside you. There's a group chat. We're going to meet every single Wednesday for five weeks starting August 5th. If you miss any of those weeks, we do have the recording and you get notes afterwards. So don't feel like you have to be there for all five weeks. If you can be there for at least four, that's magic. Come and join us. And if you're more of a one-on-one girly, come and find me naughtycamille.com to learn more about coaching. Book your free discovery call. I can't wait to see you. As always, my friends, take what sticks to you. Leave the rest. I'll see you next week. Hey, friend, if you like this podcast, I would love it if you give us a five star rating. Share it with your friends. If you're interested in one on one coaching, if this podcast resonates with you and you're ready for some one on one support, support for you and your journey, go ahead to nandicamille.com to learn more or head over to nandicamil.as.me to sign up for your free discovery call.