Get What You Want (Six Steps)

If you’ve ever been asked “What do you want?” and your mind goes blank, you’re not alone, and it’s usually not because you’re clueless. It’s often because you’ve trained yourself to believe you can’t have what you want, so naming it feels risky. We slow that moment down and show you how to rebuild desire, clarity, and trust in yourself without turning your current life into a problem.

We share our six-step framework for getting what you want, built from mindset coaching, spiritual alignment, and practical action. We start with honesty and move into real clarity: defining what “a loving marriage,” “a better job,” “confidence,” or “more money” actually means for you. We also connect the dots to neuroscience and the reticular activating system, because specificity changes what you notice, what you tolerate, and how you discern what is for you.

From there we talk openness, faith, and the part most people skip: showing up like it’s already done while still taking steps that make it possible. Then we tackle limiting beliefs head-on, including the “crab effect” that pulls you back right when you start gaining momentum, and how to rewrite those thoughts so you can keep moving.

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Check in: What’s the one thing you’re ready to be honest about wanting today?

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Transcript

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Welcome And The Big Promise

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi friends, and welcome to Believe Like a Boss. I'm your host, Life Coach Nandi Camille. Join me as I teach you how to smash your goals and expand the possibility of your life through mindset management, spiritual alignment, and authentic action. I'll teach you how to create what I like to call a life of thrive with ease and authenticity. It's time to play with what's possible. Are you ready? Let's go.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome back to another episode of Believe Like a Boss. I am your host, life coach, Nandi Camille. Welcome back, my friends. This week we're talking about getting what you want. I love helping y'all get what you want. Uh, because there's so many things that we want. We want peace, we want better productivity, we want an aligned marriage, we want to go out on more dates, we want to feel more connected in our relationships, whether it's our friendships, our relationship with our mother, our sister, our relationship with a friend. We want more relationships. Maybe we're not feeling really seen in our life. So we want a relationship in which we feel seen, heard, valued. Maybe you're wanting to travel. Maybe you're wanting to just feel confident about who you are and how you show up in the world. If I were to distill my process into truly just a single process, this would be it. On the podcast, as always, take what sticks to you, leave the rest. As a mindfulness-based life coach, I'm always talking about different tools for your tool belt to help you get what you want. And again, what we want is a variety of things. I think when we hear that, we think car, house, family, nothing wrong with those things. But I think beneath that, what does the car, the house, the family represent? Security, confidence in oneself, connection, right? So we're gonna talk about getting what you want, no matter what it is that you want. Again, take what sticks, you leave the rest. And if you enjoy this podcast, save it, send it to someone that you love, helps more people find the podcast. I'm here to help people. I love helping people help themselves. That's my whole goal. So if I were to put this into a process, this is my process. This is what I teach, this is what I help my clients do in getting what they want. Six-step process. We're gonna break each of these six steps down. Now, these are going to mirror, we're having some psychology in here. This is gonna mirror law of attraction, this is gonna mirror manifestation. Uh for me, all of it is speaking the same language, or all of it saying the same thing, but in different languages. And that's how I approach spirituality as well. We're all saying the same thing, just in different languages. So, somebody that really loves manifestation practice, you're gonna hear those similar themes in this process. If you're more the analytical person and you're listening to books like The Subtle Art of Not Giving F U C K, Atomic Habits, those types of books. I'm also listening to those, and I truly believe that we are saying the same thing. It is a matter of pairing your belief with your action. And there's a variety of ways to do that. This is how I do it. This is what I do with my clients.

Step One: Be Honest

SPEAKER_01 2:53

So, first and foremost, be honest. Be honest about what you want. In order to get what you want, you need to be clear on what you want. This, I think, trumps people up because they'll hear, uh, what do you want? Be honest, be clear about what you want. And for some people, they have been in a place, this might be you, where you've been in a place for so long of telling yourself that you can't have what you want, you can't have the aligned marriage, you can't make money in a purposeful way, you can't enjoy the work that you're doing, you can't move out of the state that you're in, you can't travel abroad. You've told yourself that you cannot have the things that you want. So then when somebody goes to ask you what you want, you're like, I don't know. I don't actually know what I want. I don't know who I am. Check in. I do believe that there can be times in our life where we're like, oh, I don't know what I want. But I would say more often than not, it's the case that when you're saying you don't know what you want, it's because you've told yourself you can't have what you want for such a long time that now when somebody asks you, what do you want? You're like, I don't know. I don't know what I want because I actually don't believe that I can have the things that I want. So I don't know what I want. All right, so check it. That might be you. Give yourself some love, give yourself some grace. What might be the things that you've told yourself that you can't have that you actually do want to have? That's why step one is be honest. Be honest. That is my step one. In getting what you want, you need to be honest about what you want. And sometimes this step alone can be so painful. I don't want to admit that I want to have a better job with a boss that respects me and honors me and that I want to make more money. Because the second I'm honest about what I want, now there's this like itchiness in me that I'm living the quote wrong life, that my life right now is bad or out of alignment. And so, oh my gosh, I need to make a change. No, being honest is simply about being honest. It's not about shooting on you, it's not about making where you are bad, it's not about making where you are less than. In order to thoughtfully and in alignment move into your next chapter, you gotta have to be honest about where you are and what you want now. And it again doesn't mean that you're applying to jobs immediately. Let's say that you decide I don't want to work this job anymore. I'm not having fun. I haven't been having fun. These people do not appreciate me. I haven't gotten a raise in three years. Be honest about that. Again, it doesn't mean that you look for a job immediately, but it does mean that you're honest about where you are right now and therefore honest about what you want. You may not know the job title you want, but you know that you want to feel better at work. You want to be compensated for the work that you do. You want to feel at least a little bit excited about the job that you're going to. No job is perfect, but you want to feel excited about the work that you're doing. Be honest. Be so honest. The example that I'm using that's on my worksheet that I give to clients is let's say, for example, your honesty is I want a loving marriage. Step two for me is

Step Two: Get Clear And Specific

SPEAKER_01 5:44

be clear. Step one, be honest about what you want. In order to get what you want, you have to be honest about it. Step two, be clear. Now, what does this mean? Let's say you're be your honest thing that you want is I want a loving marriage. And this might be somebody that's in a marriage that doesn't feel loving. This could be somebody that's single right now, this could be somebody that's dating right now and they're really enjoying how it's going. And what they really want is a loving marriage, is what they're working towards. Now, step two for me, these are my own steps for my own brain. Step two is be clear. What does that mean? Break it down. So again, if you're saying I want a loving marriage, what does that mean? I broke it down, for example. Loving could mean honest. We trust each other, we can't keep our hands off of each other. That's what loving means. We have so much fun together. We love to talk to each other and support each other's dreams. We are best friends. That was my own running definition of a loving marriage. So when you're honest about what you want, I want a better job. What does that actually mean? Get clear. What does a better job mean? I have a boss that checks in on me. I don't have to ask for raises, they happen annually, and there's opportunity for me to get bonuses. I'm invited to be on creative projects. I have the opportunity to be a part of teams, but also lead teams. Be clear. If you want, I want a nomadic life. If that's what you want, you're being honest. I want a nomadic life. Be clear. I tell this to all clients. Whenever you come on a call, they're like, I want these things. Okay, different means different things mean different things to different people. So for one person, being a nomad can mean something completely different than being a nomad means to somebody else. So while it's so great to be like, oh, I want a loving marriage, oh, I want a better job, oh, I want to travel abroad, I want to be a nomad. Again, so many people I find get stuck with these. It's beautiful. I love that. That's kind of where vision boards get in trouble. You know, I love a good vision board, but it's almost like that, right? I want a beautiful house. And then you cut out a beautiful house and you put it on your board. Now your subconscious is going to work to look for evidence of that house. That's how that board works without you having to do anything. But the way it works even better is when you get clear. You don't just cut out any willy-nilly house. You're very specific. I want a white house with black trim. I want a house that has sprawling space around it where I can see wildlife. I want to live on the top floor in a city. That's my dream house. Be very clear about what it is that you want. Why is this? Again, we have our reticular activating system. Your brain's always listening to you. The more specific you can get about what you want, the more specifically your brain is then looking for the thing that you said that you want. Then when you go to apply for a job, let's say again, you want a better job, and you've gotten clear that a better job means a boss that genuinely cares about me, wants me to be on teams, but also lead teams. Great. Now you've gotten clear. Now, when you go to interview, you're going to have such a better idea of who is and who is not a good fit just based on the interview. I think so many people are afraid to go to a new job because it's like, oh, I don't know what it's going to be like till I get in there. You can learn so much just from the interview process. If what you want in a better job is an attentive boss that is organized, when you're interviewing, it should not take three weeks between your interview calls for you to get a response. That is showing you from the get they are not very organized in their just hiring process, right? And that's a whole other podcast episode I can do like do's and don'ts, red flags, yellow flags, green flags to look for when you're hiring, if you're in the hiring process, right? But if you've gotten clear on what it is that you want, while you are interviewing, you will be able to ask questions. Okay, how do you support your team members' growth? You're gonna be able to hear that answer and hear if they're a leader that genuinely helps their team grow or actually doesn't have an answer to that. When you get clear, it helps you to be so much more clear on what is for you and what is not for you when life presents its options because that's what life does. Life will present you options, different bosses, different people to date, different career choices, different channels on TV to choose. When you are honest and clear about what you want, it becomes so much easier to discern what is for you and what is not for you. So often people are like, oh, I want to be better at discernment. Do you know what you want and have you gotten clear on it? Because that is half of the battle. Knowing yourself so that you know what is for you and what's not for you. Now, step one, be honest. Step two, be clear.

Step Three: Stay Open To The Path

SPEAKER_01 10:23

Step three, be open to how it will come in. Be open to how the thing you want so bad is going to come in. I would argue this is probably for me the hardest step. It's getting easier, but it is one of the hardest steps for me. This might be easier for other people. Be open to how it will come in. I am a stubborn Taurus. I am just a stubborn human. And sometimes I'm like, for instance, I want to be a model. I'm now in that process, right? That was a thought that I had for a really long time. And in my brain, it was like, it's gonna go this specific way. For the longest time, let's be real real. For the longest time, I dreamed that I would just be walking through the mall, or I'd be at the beach, or I'd be at Disney World, and some talent agent would come up and find me because that happens. Happens sometimes. Cute little girls walking through the mall get found by a scout, by some sort of recruiter for modeling, and then they get scouted. I wanted that to happen that way for so long. It did not happen. I also like moved every four years. So sometimes I'm like, that's why. That's why I was never scouted, my pompous brain. Anyway, the point being, I'm now at 33 years old. That hasn't happened for me. So I was like, okay, what are some of the other ways that I might be able to model? That took me then taking some action. I went and I submitted an application to a modeling agency. I went in and had an interview, right? Be open to the ways it'll come through. That's not the only way modeling has come through for me. I was actually scouted. I wasn't walking around in a mall, but I, after years of posting online and hashtagging Denver Blogger, Denver Model, I was scouted by the company Ever Eve. That's a whole other podcast episode. You'll have to go back for that one, but was scouted, was actually recruited out of hundreds of women who had applied. I was then chosen just randomly. Hey, Nandi, do you want to apply to be a model for us for Every? I applied, I got the job. Be open to how what you want will come through. I could have never guessed, truly, that they were going to scout me out. I didn't even know they were doing this national campaign. They had been, Every had been doing this national campaign, I don't know, for a few weeks at this point before an agent, a talent agent reached out to me and said, Hey, we would like you to apply. And then when I got the job, they said, actually, so many women, hundreds of women, have applied for this modeling position. And we just picked you. We just found you, which was so rewarding to hear. Be open to how it will show up. I give both of those examples because I truly love the serendipity of the universe, of God, of truly like let go and let God that phrase. Again, take so what sticks of you, leave the rest. If you're not religious, that's fine. I am, or I'm spiritual, whatever, both. I like Jesus, I like angels, I like crystals, I like it all. I'm like, bring it to me. I'm open-minded, right? Anyway, the point being, on the one end, you could get like, oh, that was so woo-woo, Nandi. That they just came out of nowhere. That's great. That's fantastic. And I truly do believe that this world is full of serendipitous happenings. If you're non-religious, you don't have to call it miracles, just like fun serendipity. On the other end, I took the initiative to go to the modeling agency and take action. So be open to how it will show up. I think it is truly a mix of just being open and like literally lift your hands to the sky and be like, whatever you got for me, God, whatever you got for me, universe, I'm open to it and just allowing that playfulness to happen. I think that we can also get in trouble when that's all that we're doing. When we're just like, oh, it's gonna come, it's gonna come somehow. What are you actually doing to ensure that it's coming somehow? Whenever we've reached out to me, I wasn't just twiddling my thumbs hoping somebody would reach out to me. I was posting regularly, posting cute outfits, posting in different areas, posting that I was trying this on for this brand, whatever it was, but I was still showing up. So while we wanna be honest and be clear and be open to how it will come in, we also have to be taking action, which leads us into step four.

Step Four: Act Like It’s Done

SPEAKER_01 14:28

So step four is think and show up as if it's already done. This is what I think we talk about the most on the podcast is show up as if it's already done. The only reason we want anything is because of how we believe we will feel in the having of it. So the hack is to feel how we want to feel ahead of time. You want to be wealthy, even though you're only making, call it $2,000 a month and your goal is $10,000 a month. This premise says you have to think as if you already make $10,000 a month. How would you be feeling if you are already making $10,000 a month? Again, arguably, some people would say this is the hardest step for them. Because this takes overriding reality. That's where faith comes in, right? That's what overriding reality is. Having the faith. And this could be having faith in something bigger than you, having faith that God is going to provide. This could just be having faith in the unknown. I have faith that clients are coming through, period. Even though I haven't signed a client, even though I haven't met this client yet, I am doing the work, I'm showing up consistently. I therefore have the faith and believe that clients are coming. Right? When you are in the place that you want to be, go to that future version, go back to like being honest. What were you honest about? What were you clear about? Now, if that was already happening for you, if you already had the clients, if you already had the job that paid you well and supported you and made you feel seen, if you already had the relationship in which you had open communication and you feel supported and you're supporting them, what are the thoughts that are literally going through your mind at that point? What are the thoughts that you are thinking that are creating the feelings that you're feeling of success, of accomplishment, of I made it? Go there. And again, this is easier said than done because I'm asking you in this thought to think things that are going to feel a little bit impossible. You're like, well, I've never made $10,000. I don't know what I'm going to be thinking at that place. How do you think you're gonna feel? Well, I'm probably gonna feel really abundant, I'm probably gonna feel really wealthy, I'm gonna feel really fabulous because I'm gonna have gone out and got myself some new clothes, and maybe I've finally got that facial or that massage or book that trip finally because I'm making $10,000 a month. Great, go there, play with that. It's kind of like, you know, I love children here because I feel like children do such a good job of showing us what alignment is before you know our our like thinking brain clicks on. Children are playing imagination all the time, playing games all the time. But it's more than just like playing games. I remember when I was a kid and I was quote, playing teacher or playing celebrity or playing whatever it was. Yeah, it was play, but there was also this element of like, I believe that this reality is available to me. I believe that even though I'm playing teacher right now with my little sister, one day I could actually be a teacher. I would even play, when I say like play celebrity, I don't know that there was any celebrity I was trying to play, but like I remember I would get out a piece of paper and I would like write my signature again and again because I just knew one day, whether it's signing books or signing a new piece of paper or signing someone's arm because I'm just that famous and they want me to sign it. I was in the belief that like one day I'll be signing things. I was also in the in a child's mind in the belief that like this is an available reality. This is a very available reality to me. There are adults out in the world doing book signings. There are adults out in the world who are teachers. There are adults out in the world who, you know, when you were like just fake grocery shopping as a kid, right? There's an element of like, I'm going to be doing this one day. I'm playing make-believe because I'm preparing for when I'm an adult and I have freedom and I am doing book signings and I am buying the groceries at the grocery store, right? That's the playfulness. Like, let it be playful. Let it be light, let it be exciting. When you think about the version of you who already has what you want, go to the feeling first. How will you feel when you are there? Then reverse engineer based on those feelings. What must I be thinking in order for those feelings to exist? It is working in faith. That's step four. Think and show up as if it's already done.

Steps Five And Six: Rewrite Beliefs

SPEAKER_01 18:50

Number five, notice your limiting beliefs, then rewrite them. This one I think is when I'm listening to other manifestation coaches, uh life coaches, leadership coaches, psychologists, therapists that are teaching people how to get what they want. I'm hearing this said, but I feel like not as clearly as I'm defining it. I feel like it stops as like show up as if it's already done. That's it. And truly, if you are doing that, that kind of really is it, right? Think and show up as if it's already done, right? As you consistently do that, you will bring the reality that you want to you, period. But I added step five, notice your limiting beliefs and rewrite them. Because what I find when I'm working with clients is we go and we show up as if it's already done, and then all their limiting beliefs come in, right? They want to be an author. And so, okay, I I've gotten honest. I want to be an author. I'm being clear. I want to be a personal development author who writes books for moms. Okay, I'm getting really clear on that. I want to do book tours and I want to start with a blog. Okay, I'm getting really clear. Now I'm gonna be open to how it will come in. I'm gonna start by writing a little bit every day, starting to post on my blog. Okay, cool. Now I'm gonna think and show up as if it's already mine. I am a great author and people love to leave to read my blog. My blog is getting popular. I'm starting to do the work. As you start to do the work, this is usually where the limiting beliefs come in. She starts writing her blog. People start showing up, but maybe the limiting belief is, oh, it's not happening fast enough, or I'm not that engaging, or my Substack just isn't as popular and won't be as popular as other people. It's usually as we start to do the work that then the limiting beliefs start really rearing their heads. Who are you to do this? This industry is so saturated. Oh, there's already already other good bosses, there's already other good people on the team. You're probably gonna get overlooked for that uh, what is it, promotion, even though I've been showing up. This is usually when the limiting beliefs show up even louder. Um, there's something, and we've talked about this before in the podcast, called the crab effect. And this is usually when psychologists talk about this, it's usually in referral to people, right? So the crab effect is if you have a bowl full of crabs and one of the crabs is literally trying to crawl out of this bowl, trying to like make it to safety, the other crabs will pull the crab down. So that's what the crab effect is. I like to think that this also happens in our brain. It's like this part of you starts to waken up, starts to think, I can do this, I can have a loving marriage, I can have a job that I love, I can have a body that I love, I can love myself more deeply, I can reach this goal. And then all of the old parts of you that have been believing the opposite for so long start to get stirred up because here's the thing let's go to neuroscience. Your brain loves simplicity, your brain loves patterns. So if you're going to think a new thought, if you're gonna start to believe new things that you've never believed before, you are requiring. Your brain to create new neuropathways. You're requiring your brain to use energy that it was not using before. If you've been thinking, I can't, I can't, I can't, it's too hard, it's too hard, it's hard. I'm always gonna be at this job. It is easier for your brain to think that. It is harder for your brain to create new thoughts, it is harder to create a new identity, it is harder to change your habits. So that's why when we start to, okay, I'm gonna do this, then all the little old gremlins come in. Those gremlins can be people, those gremlins can be old thought patterns. This is why noticing your limiting beliefs and then rewriting them, I think is such an important part of the process. You have to look those scary thoughts in the eye and say, I will not believe you anymore. I choose not to live this way anymore. The part of you that says, oh, it's too saturated, you have to look that thought in the eye and say, You are not allowed here anymore. The other metaphor I've used on this podcast before is you are the CEO of your brain and every thought is an employee. The thoughts that are no longer serving the mission, if you've decided we have a new mission, new vision, new values, every employee that is every thought that is not supporting the new mission, vision, values of the company has to get fired. The part of you that says this industry is too saturated for me, fired. That thought is fired. And then you have to hire a new thought. I am capable. I am so excited about the work that I'm doing. Nobody's doing it the way that I'm doing it. Notice your limiting beliefs and rewrite them. Step six. After you've rewritten your limiting beliefs, you're gonna go back essentially to step four again. But this is step six. Rewrite your limiting beliefs and show up as if it's already yours. Now that you've rewritten them, you keep back on the work of showing up as if it's already done. Then this whole cycle just repeats again. Because as we move through life, we get more information. And as you get more information, your thoughts about how you want to move, how you want to show up will change. So then as you start showing up as if it's already done, you're getting more information, getting more information. Now you go back up to the top. Be honest. Do you want what you have? What do you like? What's working? What's not? What's next? Be honest about what you want now that you know what you know. From there, get clear again. From your clarity, be open to how it will show up. Step four, think and feel as if it's already yours as you're doing that. Oh, limiting beliefs, old stories, old people are gonna show up. You have to look those old stories in the eye, look those people, and I say, guess what? This is not for me anymore. Might be setting a boundary with a friend, might be like, hey, I don't actually gossip about people anymore. That's just not what I do. I love you so much. I'm not available for that anymore. Rewrite those limiting beliefs, then show up again as if it's already done. Then you rinse and repeat. This is how I have gotten, my clients have gotten everything that they want. It is part faith, it is part mindset, it is part physical practical movement. If you truly believe that you are the person that signs clients, how are you moving in the world? You have to move in a way that clients can find you. If you truly believe you can be a school principal, how are you moving in that in a way that makes that true? If you truly believe that you are going to align with the love of your life, somebody that sees you, values you, cherishes you, makes your dreams just as important as their own. Are you showing up as somebody who would do that for somebody else? Do you have space in your life for a partner? Or is your life filled to the brim with busyness and you're over here wondering why somebody hasn't shown up? You don't have actual time for them. Check in. Those are my six steps, my

Coaching Invites And Closing

SPEAKER_01 25:48

friends. As always, take what sticks to you, leave the rest. And if you would like these steps, apply to your personal life. Come and find me, naundicamille.com, book that free discovery call. I'm gonna do another round of the art of magnetism soon. So keep an eye on that. Make sure you're subscribed to the email newsletter so you're not missing any of these updates. How do I do that, Nandi? Go into the show notes. So go into the description of this podcast. Whether you listen on Apple Podcasts, you're listening online, you're listening on Spotify. In the notes section, this the description of this podcast, I always have not only the description of the actual episode, but also links so that you can book a free discovery call, so you can visit the website, so that you can join the email list to know when I have events, whether it's a twerking event so you can get into your body or it's a journal night so you can get into your mind. Right? I have a variety of different events in the Denver metro area. I would like to expand that, but right now I'm in the Denver metro area. I also have virtual events. So if you're not in the Denver metro area, but you're like, I need to work with you, Nutty. I work with clients from California through to New York, truly. I've worked with clients in LA as well as New York City, in Texas, in Florida. I work with them virtually, so don't let that stop you. Come and find me. I'm so ready to work with you. I'm so ready to support you. I love to do this work because I can so clearly see what my clients can. That's the beauty of coaching. That's the beauty of therapy of this work. I love, even in my own sense, having someone in my corner to see my blind spots. One of my favorite quotes from one of my coaches is if your coach doesn't have a coach, get a new coach. And if you're ready for coaching, come and find me, nondecamil.as.me. All right, my friends, take what sticks to you. Leave the rest. I'll see you next week. Hey friend, if you like this podcast, I would love it if you give us a five star rating. Share it with your friends. If you're interested in one on one coaching, if this podcast resonates with you and you're ready for some one on one support, support for you and your journey. Go ahead to nandicamille.com to learn more or head over to nandicamille.as.me to sign up for your free discovery call.