What Are You Affirming?

Your feelings are telling on your thoughts. If you’ve been doing “all the right things” on your health journey or personal growth path but still feel funky inside, it might be because of what you’re affirming without realizing it.

This week, I’m asking one question that cuts through the noise: what are you confirming about yourself on repeat? We start with a simple check-in you can do any morning, then we zoom out to the mindset basics that actually change your life: your thoughts shape your feelings, your feelings drive your actions, and your actions create your results. I share a list of common affirmations that sound positive and the ones that feel a little itchy, and I walk you through how to notice them with mindfulness and zero shame.

From there, we take it deeper with anxiety. “I’m anxious” can be true and still not serve you when you say it all day. I explain how your brain’s reticular activating system looks for evidence of what you repeat, and how that can amplify stress. We practice choosing a new target for your focus, like calm, organized, or even proud, so your identity starts working for you instead of against you.

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Transcript

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Weekend Story And Quick Catch Up

SPEAKER_00 0:21

Are you ready?

SPEAKER_01 0:24

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome back to another episode of Believe Like a Boss. I am your host, life coach, Nandi Camille. Welcome back, my friends. It's so fun every single time I run into somebody that is of African descent. I don't even know if that's the best way to say it because technically I'm of African descent, but somebody that like actually lived in Africa or has family that's from Africa. I had uh went to a retreat this weekend. And fun fact, if you follow me on social media at Nadi Camille, uh, I need to do a better job of being on TikTok. If you're like Nadi, you don't post anything, it's because you're probably following me on TikTok and I'm working on that. I mostly post on um Instagram right now. And so I posted this weekend. I go to this retreat, and I'm an ambassador for the group that's hosting the retreat. It's a community called the Beauty Boost out here in Denver. And I've been an ambassador for them for years. I actually started maybe a year or two after I started my business. Um they reached out to me and they were looking for other women in the just Denver metro area that were either bloggers or healthcare practitioners, life coaches, uh therapists, different modalities, yoga teachers, all these different things. And so they reached out years ago and like, hey Nadie, we said you're blogging, we see that you're a life coach. Would you like to be an ambassador for this community focused around women, empowerment, uh leadership, authentic networking, health and wellness, all of this. And so I ate it up. I was like, oh my gosh, yes. So here we are, fast forward, I don't know, maybe seven years later, maybe six. It's been a while that I've been an ambassador. And to the point where the the owner of all of Beauty Boost, uh, so Beauty Boost, it is a funny name. I know that y'all are like, what are you saying booty boost? What are you saying? It's beauty, like beautyful boost. Anyway, so the owner of all of it, she lives, I want to say out in Oklahoma. The Beauty Boost is a franchise, so as an ambassador, I support the local franchise owner. Anyway, to the point where I've now been through three local franchise owners. And before this third one came on, the owner of all of Beauty Boost actually asked me if I wanted to be the owner of the local chapter. I declined because I have my hands full with other things, but I said I will continue to support it. Anyway, the point being, fast forward to this past weekend, there's a retreat. The current franchisee owner comes to me and she's like, hey, did you get my text? And I had it. I had my uh uh, I was gonna say my owners. I had my neighbors over for dinner on Saturday night. I promise I'm getting to the podcast. Give me a second. So I had my my why does my brain want to call neighbors owners? I don't know why, but that's what's happening right now. My neighbors came over Saturday night, so I missed the text message from the franchise owner of the beauty booths in Denver. So I'm getting to the point of the story. I show up on Sunday morning. She's like, hey, I sent you a text message last night. I missed it because I was hosting my neighbors. She's like, the yoga instructor can't be here. They had a change in plans. So we don't have a yoga instructor. We don't have anybody to lead the fitness part of this morning of the retreat. Can you jump in? So I jumped in on Saturday, Sunday morning. Words are hard apparently today. Jumped in on Sunday morning, taught a twerk cardio class impromptu, totally impromptu. And now my brain's like, I have completed the story and I don't know why I was gonna tell you guys that story. I'm like, what was the point of the story? That's what I did this weekend. Maybe I just wanted to share my weekend with you all. That's what I did this weekend. I jumped in and I led an impromptu twerk shop. I ended up having my neighbors over. We had that planned for a month, um, over for dinner and we played games. So I had a really lovely, eventful, and impromptu weekend. I do feel like there was more of a point to me telling you all that story as to why I impromptu was leaving. I don't know why I told you that story. Hopefully you had a wonderful weekend. I think that I just wanted to share my weekend with you guys. There was a point to that, and I'm gonna go back and I'm gonna listen to this intro. I do this when I send voice memos to my sister. I'm like, what was what was the entire point? And I know that there's a world where it's like there's other podcasters where they would cut this entire part out, just edit it out. But I'm like, nope, this is true raw Nandi. Welcome to the party. That's what I did this weekend. I hope you had a wonderful weekend. And if you actually want to share with me what you did this weekend, if you climbed a mountain, if you hit a milestone, if you just noticed something for the first time, if you had a breakthrough, if you just had a lovely weekend and you genuinely want to share it with me, I would love to know how your weekend went or just how you're doing. You can always send me an email. Hello at nondecamille.com. I was just talking to some friends about this recently. I am truly the human that when I am at the grocery store and I ask the person at Target or at Whole Foods or at TJ Maxx, wherever I'm shopping, how their day is, and they legitimately tell me how their day is. I am so happy. I'm truly happy. I'm like, how's your day going? And they're like, oh my gosh, it's going well. I'm off in three hours. I have a date that I'm going on tonight that literally makes me so happy. So if you ever want to send me story time, hello at naughtycamille.com is where you're gonna send it. I'm really sitting here, like, why did I tell you guys that story? I feel like there was a point, but there we go. That was my weekend.

The Question Behind Your Mood

SPEAKER_01 5:23

All right, this week, my friends, we're tapping into what are you affirming? What are you affirming? This is both an elementary lesson, I would say. Like, this is a basic mindset and mindfulness podcast episode. It's gonna feel like review at the same time. I do feel like this is a lesson that can very quickly, especially if you're like in this space, you're studying psychology, you're listening to podcasts, you're listening to different practitioners, and you're you're in it. You're like getting your self-awareness, your mental health on, you're getting your growth on. So a lot of this is gonna feel a little bit familiar, but at the same time, I feel very strongly about this episode because it is also one of those things that can sneakily go unnoticed. And we're over here like, I'm on my health journey, everything's going so well, yeah, but at the same time, we're feeling funky, right? It feels like there's this really big internal battle going on. I'm gonna help you with that. What are you affirming? That is what we're talking about today. Now, you know I love an open-ended question, and so that's where I'm gonna start. What are you affirming? And you might be like, I don't, I don't know. I don't know what I've been affirming. Maybe you do know. I've been affirming that I'm fabulous. I've been affirming that everything is working out for me, I've been affirming that the dream job that I want is gonna land in my lap because I've been applying to all these jobs. What have you been affirming? Take a moment, check in. For those of you who like, I really don't know what I've been affirming. You know what you've been affirming by how you feel. How have you been feeling on a day-to-day basis? How have you been feeling? My number one check-in is how do you feel when you wake up in the morning? I feel like that's such a really great indicator of where we are. Not how our life is going, but where we are in our thoughts about how our life is going. When you wake up in the morning, are you the friend that hits the alarm clock, knows that they have great work to do, is excited to get up and do the work, knows what their morning routine is. Or when you wake up in the morning, are you immediately met with dread? Are you immediately feeling horrible about the day you're going to have? Are you immediately in a position of resistance? Check in. You know what you are affirming by how you feel. So I'm gonna give you some affirmations, and I want you to just listen. I do this with clients when we're coaching. I will often mirror back to them what they're saying to me. So when I'm working with a client, we might be talking about getting a new job. This is a very common topic. Getting a new job, starting a business are amongst the most popular topics. So we're talking about starting a new job. And I'll ask them, well, what are you interested in? Oh, I'm interested in organizing, I'm interested in um flower arranging, I'm interested in um starting a business where I provide a service. Maybe you want to be an acupuncturist, right? I'm really interested in these things. I really want to do these things, but I can't because the can't is the affirmation. Affirmation is not always positive. When I ask the question, what are you affirming? That is what are think about it this way. What are you confirming? Like when you affirm something, you're confirming something. So when I affirm I am wealthy, you're confirming that you are a wealthy person, or that you're moving towards a more wealthy mindset. What is it that you're confirming? Are you confirming I can? Are you confirming I can't? Are you confirming I will? Are you confirming I won't? Again, when I'm working with someone one-on-one, we're they're gonna tell me all these things. I think I can do this, I think I can do that, I think I can do this, da da da da. And as they go through their thoughts, after a while they start to know what I'm doing. When you're first working with me, you're like, what is this girl doing all this writing for? I'm writing down what your thoughts are, the thoughts that I'm hearing. Because again, as always, my friends, take what sticks to you, leave the rest on this podcast. But your thoughts, the philosophy that I follow as a coach, your thoughts influence your feelings. Your feelings influence your actions, your actions influence your results. Your thoughts are often, thoughts come from all over the place, right? Some of the thoughts we produce, some thoughts are not produced by us. They're usually influenced by circumstances. Circumstances are your relationships, your job, the way you make money, the weather, right? These are things that are out of our control often, but we have thoughts about them, right? And then our thoughts about those things influence our feelings, our actions, and our results. So coming back to what are you affirming? That is to ask, what are you thinking? Right. So again, your thoughts are influencing everything else. I'm gonna read a list to you of positive thoughts, maybe uplifting thoughts, and some more low-level thoughts. All I want you to do is listen to these thoughts and the ones that resonate with you, the ones that feel the loudest in your spirit, you are likely affirming or confirming that. Now, I don't want you to judge yourself. As I'm going through these thoughts, let's say that you're like, dang, I'm really affirming and confirming all these negative things. Mindfulness is awareness without judgment. I want you to be aware of the thoughts that you are confirming, affirming on the positive side and the negative side. Then from there, I'm gonna give you some steps so we can transmute it and move through it, okay? But just come to this with awareness and love for yourself. So much love for yourself that even though you might be thinking a negative affirmation, confirmation, that you are willing to look at it. What a beautiful thing that you're willing to look at it because that's uncomfortable to affirm, oh, I have been not really nice to myself about this topic. Cool. All right, I want to make a change, right? That's where I want us to approach this process from, never of shaming or blaming. So here we go.

Building New Affirmations That Fit

SPEAKER_01 11:25

I'm gonna go through my positive list first, then we're gonna go through the negative. Are you affirming that you are kind? Are you affirming that you are capable? Are you affirming that you are passionate about anything? Are you affirming that you are responsible? Are you affirming that you are happy, hardworking, creative? Are you affirming that you are focused, that you are killing it, that you're open-minded, that you are hardworking? Oh, I said that twice. That's interesting. So that so that's another thing I'll do in coaching is if I hear somebody repeat something, that lets me know that it's important to them. So as I'm reading this back to you, when I was writing out this podcast, that tells me that I think it's important for me to affirm that I am hardworking. That's just something that I'm noticing in myself because I said it twice. Are you affirming that you're organized? Are you affirming any of the above? Kind, capable, passionate, responsible, I am happy, I am hardworking, I am creative, I am focused, I am killing it, I am open-minded, I am hardworking, I am organized. Are you affirming that me saying I am? That's an affirmation. I am happy. I'm affirming, I'm confirming that I am a happy person. What is it that you are affirming? What is it that you are confirming from that list? Did any of it resonate with you? Did any of it open up your spirit? Did any of it expand you at all? If any of it did, I want you to grab those words and I want you to keep affirming that for yourself. I am kind, I am capable, I am killing it, I am open-minded, I am hardworking. Maybe pick another word that I did not even name. What do you want to affirm for yourself, even if it's not 100% true right now? I think that that gets people caught up too. I don't want to affirm I am happy when I'm not. Well, affirming that you are depressed is not making you happier, my friend. Right? What do you want? Let's affirm that. Even if you don't feel super responsible right now, if that's what you want to feel, we affirm I am responsible. If that feels crazy in your brain, you say something like, I believe it's possible for me to be responsible. I'm working towards responsibility. We affirm that. What do you want to confirm? What do you want to affirm?

Spotting Self Talk Without Judgment

SPEAKER_01 13:30

Now here's the negative side. And I say negative lovingly. Right? Notice it, notice what you're resonating with, notice what feels the loudest, and then we decide from that place, do I want to change this? Because you don't have to, right? You might affirm I am lazy and love it. That's great, right? None of this is meant to shame you or blame you. It's meant to bring about awareness. And then from that place, decide do I want to keep affirming this about myself? So here we go, other list. Are you affirming that you are disorganized? Are you affirming that you're lazy? Are you affirming that you are alone or boring? Are you affirming that you're not creative? Are you affirming that you're bitchy, depressed, anxious? Are you affirming that you're too young, too old, too behind? Are you affirming that you're not good enough or unworthy? So again, this might sound like I am disorganized, I am lazy, I am alone, I am boring, I am not creative. I am bitchy, I am depressed, I am anxious. I am too old, I am too young, I am too behind, I am not good enough, I am unworthy. What on that list resonated? What on that list, ooh, felt a little itchy. You're like, why is she talking directly to me? What on that list felt that way? Again, from that place, let's say you said, ooh, I really have been walking around saying I am disorganized, I am lazy. You get to look at that and you get to decide, you know what, there's a part of that that is true. I haven't been following through on the things that I want to say I follow through on. I haven't been working on my chores around the house. So it makes sense that my brain is then calling me lazy. You get to then decide from that place what do I want to decide instead? Maybe it's, you know what, I am bitchy and this is what it is. Then don't beat yourself up for it. Own it, right? If you want to positively affirm that for yourself, then go for it. But take a look at this list. And as you're listening to each of those, you can go back, listen to me, say it all again, rewind it 30 seconds, right? Go and listen. Close your eyes if you're not driving and feel it in your body. What of this am I affirming? And then again, decide. Let's say you are affirming that you're lazy and you get to lovingly be honest with yourself. In what ways is this true? In what ways am I being lazy? And what ways am I allowing for anxiety and depression to run the show? Just be honest. And then from that place, is this what I want to keep affirming? Is this what I want to keep confirming?

Anxiety Labels And The Brain’s Proof

SPEAKER_01 15:53

I was having a conversation with a client and we were talking about her feeling anxious. And she's like, I just don't feel like my anxiety is going away. I feel like my anxiety is getting worse. My anxiety is getting worse. I'm just an anxious person. I never used to call myself an anxious person before, but my anxiety is getting worse and I'm I'm anxious. What we did in that session is I lovingly called out, look at how much you are affirming this as part of your personality. I am anxious. My anxiety is getting worse. The brain, you might, it's coming from a good place, right? She's coming from a place of I'm observing this about myself. Beautiful. Where I challenged her though, I said, in affirming it, you're putting where your focus goes, your energy flows, right? So by continuing to say, I'm anxious, I'm anxious, I'm anxious, my anxiety is getting worse, I'm an anxious person. Your brain is now focusing on that and giving more energy towards it. Let's bring in your reticular activating system. Now, your reticular activating system, we're getting into our neuroscience now, is going to look for evidence of the statement you have made. I am anxious. Even if it is true, it does not serve you to affirm it. That is what we're talking about today. What are you affirming? It might be true that you struggle with anxiety from time to time. Guess what? Me too. But I try my best. This is why I think it's sneaky, because I caught myself doing the same thing a few weeks ago. I am anxious, I am anxious, I am anxious. My brain noticed an uptick in my stress levels, that I was a little bit more anxious. Anxiety is there, a little bit more fearful. So it's a logical statement to say, I am anxious. Where it wasn't serving me is me repeatedly saying it, me repeatedly saying, I'm anxious, I'm anxious, I'm anxious. What does my brain do? Go to look for evidence of that. And then it exacerbates it. So it makes it even bigger where your focus goes, your energy flows. So now my energy is all flowing towards this affirmation that I am anxious. And the second that I noticed it, I said, Oh, well, there's where at least 10 to 20% of my anxiety is coming from. Me affirming it. How about I stop that? How about we just stop that? What do I want to affirm instead? I want to affirm that affirm that I am calm. I want to affirm that I am organized. Sometimes it's helpful to think about the opposite. So with the client that I was working with, what we found was the opposite for her of instead of being anxious, the opposite for her is proud. When she is proud of herself, when she is proud of the work she is doing, there's no room for anxiety. Anxiety is fear. That's all it is. When she's proud of herself, there's no room for fear because she's focused on the pride she's feeling for the work she has done. So then we started to focus on that. I am proud of myself. She started to affirm instead. And I'm not going to tell you her anxiety is completely gone and she's anxiety free now. But it has been alleviated as a result of us changing our perspective, changing what we're affirming. What are you affirming? You know by how you feel. Take what sticks you, leave the rest, my friends. What are you affirming? You know by how you feel. If you want to feel differently, it's time to affirm some different things.

Coaching Offers And Final Requests

SPEAKER_01 18:53

If you want help with this, this is exactly what I do. I love to do it. Come book your free discovery call, naunticamille.com to learn more. Go to naudicamille.as.me to schedule your free discovery call. And if you want more of a group setting, if you're like, I don't think I need the one-on-one work, but I would really love to be in a safe space with other like-minded queens that are doing this work, that are shifting their identity, that are becoming more confident, that are changing things in their world. The next round of the art of magnetism starts in October. I'm starting enrollment now for the next round of the art of magnetism. We start in October. Go to NandiCamille.com/slash learnmore to learn more. You can also go to the show notes, the description of every podcast episode. We'll have links in it. And then you can also join the mailing list. So if you want to make sure that you don't miss anything, there's a link to join the mailing list in the description of the podcast. And as always, you can go to just nandicamil.com to learn more or just come hang out with me online on Instagram. I'm gonna work on my TikTok, I promise, at Nandi Camille. I'll see you guys next week. Hey friend, if you like this podcast, I would love it if you could give us a five star rating. Share it with your friends. If you're interested in one on one coaching, if this podcast resonates with you and you're ready for some one on one support, support for you and your journey, go ahead to nandicamille.com to learn more or head over to nandicamila.as.me to sign up for your free discovery call.