This week, we dish about New York City Rat Syphilis , Roseanne Barr's National Anthem, Ambien Phone Calls and much more. We are joined by the hilarious and multi-talented, Miz Cracker. She is a drag performer, stand-up comedian, writer, and artist who has performed all over the world. She is best known for competing on RuPaul's Drag Race Season 10 and placing in the top three in RuPaul's Drag Race All-Stars Season 5. She has a new podcast coming out in December called “She’s a Woman” Every Monday, she will start your week off by talking with incredible women from around the world about their achievements.
Follow me on instagram to see more content, stay updated on upcoming episodes and send me questions for future guests!
https://www.instagram.com/sarahrlazarus
This week, we dish about New York City Rat Syphilis , Roseanne Barr's National Anthem, Ambien Phone Calls and much more. We are joined by the hilarious and multi-talented, Miz Cracker. She is a drag performer, stand-up comedian, writer, and artist who has performed all over the world. She is best known for competing on RuPaul's Drag Race Season 10 and placing in the top three in RuPaul's Drag Race All-Stars Season 5. She has a new podcast coming out in December called “She’s a Woman” Every Monday, she will start your week off by talking with incredible women from around the world about their achievements.
Follow me on instagram to see more content, stay updated on upcoming episodes and send me questions for future guests!
https://www.instagram.com/sarahrlazarus
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Sarah Lazarus:Hello Hello everyone. Welcome to wish you were weird. The show where we talk about everything you've always wanted to know more about, including but not limited to drag.
Vinny:dating.
Sarah Lazarus:That was not a sound effect that was real life.
Vinny:dating.
Sarah Lazarus:Politics.
Vinny:Thanking COVID for freeing your Thanksgiving from aunt Linda's hot takes on capitalism.
Sarah Lazarus:The best places to get COVID in South Florida
Vinny:building an Ikea desk just to die under it during a light earthquake.
Sarah Lazarus:The best way is to not celebrate Thanksgiving
Vinny:getting too high before Thanksgiving dinner and crying about how old your dog is getting
Sarah Lazarus:eight ways that the pilgrims could have been better.
Vinny:I'm chasing like really bad. Vincent,
Sarah Lazarus:and I'm the girl who ditched her birthright reunion zoom to be here, Sarah.
Vinny:Literally. Hold on. I just want to get it out and get it over with. Wait, wait, here comes. Right. I'm ready. Isn't that Thank you. Thank you.
Sarah Lazarus:I was that a release? did that feel?
Vinny:That was a release I have been seeing so much ever since I organized my closet and all of the dust in there. killing me.
Sarah Lazarus:Didn't your parents like move your bedroom into your closet?
Vinny:like yeah, literally what happened? They came home and like my entire bedroom was like up in the corner of like, my brother's bedroom. It's it's a whole thing. Our house is under construction. So
Sarah Lazarus:you should take a Claritin allergy man,
Vinny:I've been taking Benadryl, lots of Benadryl.
Sarah Lazarus:Oh, you're probably sleepy right now. You got a drill.
Vinny:That's why I texted you and I was like, Can we not wait until
Sarah Lazarus:you want to type out your benadryl kick? Oh my god. How have I been? Um I mean, I'm fine. You know, just chillin here in Florida. shooting some gators in some duck kitchen. salto about a gator. And now I don't have a gator. But they exist and they're around like the lakes by my house. They warn you they're like don't come here. gators around. Yeah, I mean, it's I don't know. I guess we're used to it here. You will rarely see them outside there. I'm like knock on wood. There's not a fucking tonight there's a gator. I just don't feel like I have a Captain Hook narrative. You know? I don't see that for me. You're fucking your fucking Smee everyone that tells me
Vinny:everyone tells me im smee
Sarah Lazarus:that a common thing again?
Vinny:Yes, I always get fucking me who is sweet? He's Captain hooks. right hand man.
Sarah Lazarus:Yes, he is.
Vinny:Got it.
Sarah Lazarus:He's like, he's like stout. But he's got he's. So it's like the opposite of you. If you were to like, flatten you on your head and like you would expand, you know what I mean?
Vinny:Then it would be me.
Sarah Lazarus:Yeah, but I mean, I feel like personality wise, you're you have Smee energy. For this next section. We will be playing two truths and a lie with New York City fun facts. Vinny, do you want to take it away?
Vinny:Absolutely. Okay, back to number one. It is estimated that up to 90% of rats in NYC have syphilis. Fact number two. Staten Island once tried to secede. Number three, New York City has a 150 foot hole.
Sarah Lazarus:I'm gonna say that 90% of rats do not have syphilis.
Vinny:You are right. 100% of rats.
Sarah Lazarus:I would believe that.
Vinny:Yeah, New York City has 150 foot deep hole when I'm there. So. Yep, but you're right. I don't know. The facts on rats syphilis in New York City.
Sarah Lazarus:I feel like I mean, they have to have something. There's no way they're just like clean.
Vinny:I hear I hear it in my roof all the time. They're fucking they're fucking every night.
Sarah Lazarus:Although you know what, we should not stigmatize rats. That's what Ratatouille taught us. You know, we should let them have the benefit of the doubt.
Vinny:We should let them pursue their dreams of culinary arts and giving each other syphilis
Sarah Lazarus:exactly was when we actually While we're on this topic, can we talk about the Ratatouille musical because I am obsessed with it?
Vinny:Honestly, whenever I hear that like ending number I do maybe get some chills I do love it. I can't wait to see it.
Sarah Lazarus:Know what's fucked up. There's a famous Broadway producer if we both know of who. Certain one we submitted our version of dear Evan Hansen two years ago,
Vinny:oh boy, I still get emails from to this day.
Sarah Lazarus:There was me and Vinny years ago, there's this famous Broadway producer, and we sent him there's like us, we sent him a script and it's like a submission. They have a submission email and we sent
Vinny:I remember exactly what it was. It was insane. It was a play call it titled The empathy box. Something and it was by the name was like Lex something because I always get it. And it was our script of Romeo and Juliet except we found and replaced every Romeo with Ben Platt.
Sarah Lazarus:I think we called it dear Evan Hansen as well.
Vinny:Right. It was dear Javon Hassan.
Sarah Lazarus:We Oh, wait, we replaced all that. Yeah, we replaced I think all the Juliet's with Lucas Grabeel. And we sent it to this Broadway producer. We're still waiting to hear back we have we have positive hopes, though. We think it's going to go far. But anyway, this burnt Broadway producer posted on tik tok, and he was like, Guys, I want to produce the Ratatouille musical send me all your stuff. And apparently he's just like, full of shit and just wants like
Vinny:souless little cash grab by that guy
Sarah Lazarus:Yeah, I have. Yeah, just some interesting stories, you know, the Broadway communities. The one that I hope is going to change after this, you know, but it's a
Vinny:it's a community.
Sarah Lazarus:It's a community.
Vinny:Those gated communities that only lets white people in
Sarah Lazarus:exactly. Literally honestly, what I feel like we're gonna see some change. I mean, I hope so.
Vinny:That's what peppermint was telling us. And you know what? I trust her.
Sarah Lazarus:I trust honestly, peppermint. Whatever peppermint says is is what's happening. Okay. Anyway, here are my two truths and a lie facts. McSorley's, the oldest Irish ale house in New York City didn't allow women inside until 1970.
Vinny:Definitely.
Sarah Lazarus:Albert Einstein testicles are stored in a safe deposit box in the city.
Vinny:No comment.
Sarah Lazarus:It is a misdemeanor to fart in New York City churches.
Vinny:Also true Okay, my signs testicles are not stored in a safe deposit box. Not as testicles but his eyeballs are. I know. Why his eyeballs like nothing was like particularly special about that part of him.
Sarah Lazarus:I literally don't know New York City fucking crazy. Like, what are they doing with it? studying it,
Vinny:I could see the merit of storing, like his brain or his testicles. But not his eyes
Sarah Lazarus:strong brain big bowls. \
Vinny:My motto,
Sarah Lazarus:that'll be your drag race, intro when you walk into the room,
Vinny:strong brain, big balls.
Sarah Lazarus:And then you'll do a death drop.
Vinny:That's about I did in my mind. I did that too. I just I didn't know how to
Sarah Lazarus:I remember I was me, you and me. Vinny and our friend of ours were on a roof. And I was joking. And we were all drunk. And I was like Vinny doing death drop and he
Vinny:I got the biggest bruise from that. And it wasn't even a good death drop, which is the worst part. I was really drunk So the stakes were really high. And now we're going to move on to our donation portion. The organization that we've chosen this week is the Native American college fund. And you can find them on college fund.org slash native dash American dash heritage dash month, here's a little blurb from their website. In the midst of a global health crisis. It means something to both celebrate and support all native people and communities doing Native American Heritage Month we celebrate our rich history and culture, our resilience and our vision and hope for a better future.
Sarah Lazarus:So please donate to this cause it's really good especially with thanksgiving. It's such a weird time for so you all should really donate to this cause it is such a tough time for Native Americans during this Thanksgiving period because it's not a celebratory holiday for them. You know, they their heritage in the US comes from lots of genocide and torture and it's not a holiday really it's really not so think about that and you know, have your turkey but maybe you know Make make room for donation instead of you know, extra pie. Although eat pie you know what eat pie but also donate.
Vinny:I love that. Also, if you guys have a cause or an organization that you think is really important, please dm it to us on social media and we will shout it out in our next episode and you can find us now on Twitter if you want to dm so you can find us on Twitter. I wish you were weird one the you the letter you not the word you.
Sarah Lazarus:Our next guest is a New York City drag queen writer and comedian.
Vinny:she launched her drag career in 2011 while participating in marches for marriage equality in Times Square.
Sarah Lazarus:She went on to compete on RuPaul drag race season 10 landing a spot in the top five and becoming a fan favorite and later placed in the top three rupauls drag race All Stars season five
Vinny:she has an Instagram show called coffee with cracker and YouTube series review with a jew
Sarah Lazarus:before COVID she was on tour around the world entertaining drag fans with All Things sin and salty.
Vinny:She has a new podcast coming out in December called she's a woman. Every Monday she'll start your week off by talking with incredible women from around the world about their achievements. Please welcome Miz cracker.
Sarah Lazarus:Yes, she is. And no one. People are listening can see this. But she is a beautiful woman woman right now fully, fully beat and looking amazing. You I love the makeup you have on right now. It's just gorgeous. And I love You're so good at putting on makeup on other people, which is a talent of its own. Well, we'll talk about that
Miz Cracker:love that.
Sarah Lazarus:Yes. So we want to take this back to the beginning of your life. Where were you born? And what was your childhood like?
Miz Cracker:Oh, well, I was born in Seattle in what we call a slew which is Pacific Pacific Northwest terms for swamp. And I grew up in a family that struggled a lot financially, we had good times that we had real rough times. And so my whole childhood sort of was like making something out of nothing. And, um, my sister and I would host these dinners once a week where we would make food from around the world and sort of decorate the house with decorations from around the world. And I think that was the birth of my creativity as far as making something from nothing and making a spectacle out of something that's commonplace.
Sarah Lazarus:Yes. And you move to New York right after Seattle. Does that
Miz Cracker:I? Yeah, I moved to a Olympia first, which is where I spent my like late teens. And then that I was like, I got to get out of the West Coast. And I yeah, I moved to New York City at around 21 years old. Yeah.
Sarah Lazarus:Were you. Would you like go right into the drag scene there?
Miz Cracker:Absolutely Not, under no circumstances. Yeah, no, I I moved to New York to get into publishing. And I wanted to be an editor because I saw Meryl Streep as an editor in the hours and I was like, Oh, I'm going to do that. I'm going to carry manuscripts in my arms in the snow. And so I came to New York, and I applied to all these publishing houses. I got an internship, I worked my way up the ladder, and I became an editor. That's what I did for my first 10 years in New York.
Vinny:Oh, wow. So did you did you start performing when you started drag or were you a performer before then?
Miz Cracker:I was an artist before then. So I did something called poetics theater, which is when you do theater performances written by poets, and they're really disjointed and experimental and weird. And I did that for a while I traveled all over the country with a experimental theatre group. But yeah, that was like, that was my, like, real foray into performance.
Sarah Lazarus:Wow, that's so interesting. That sounds like what I got a degree in which just was theater, but it was more like what you were describing.
Miz Cracker:Theater. Yeah.
Sarah Lazarus:So you were doing experimental theater and how did drag comedy come into your life? I know you have a backstory with Bob the drag queen and I'm dropping books. She was dropping books and you pick them up and can you give us that story again, for anyone who hasn't heard it?
Miz Cracker:Yeah, Bob and I had a had like a little meet cute where we she was walking home with a bookshelf through the snow and I was like, Hey, can I help you? I'm just trying to be a nice neighbor. And we got up to her apartment and it was full of wigs and I was like, Oh my god, what is happening? And she was like, you know, you should try Drag I was like, Thank you I will but in my mind I was like no. And but we became friends and it took like six months of nagging But Bob finally got me to what is it? oh treasure, I was like, what arre we talking about? finally coming to dry dry for the first time and I was in love, you know, I was in love with Dragon as the minute I started doing it. And comedy kind of came out of my very first performance I was with Roxxy Brooks at a place called boots and saddle which is now burned to the ground. Not really figuratively. And I she she gave me a guest spot my very first guest spot and I got the mic at some point and I stepped off stage and there was a huge feedback and I said something about like, my ankle bracelet, you know causing feedback or something like that. And a couple people laughed and I was like I'm a comedian.
Sarah Lazarus:Um, so you know, you kind of took off in drag in New York and then finally you made it to drag race what was that experience like on season 10
Miz Cracker:the experience of getting onto drag race was like really exhilarating to prepare for it and terrifying to do and just horrifying to watch and then it was over it's like a lot of things in your life that are important that just flashed by and you know what the really important thing for me was having that platform all of a sudden to go out in the world and meet people face to face in cities all over the US and such as all over the world. You know what I mean? Like I wanted my drag to be something that you could reach out and touch and so I no matter where I went in the world I always got up early got in drag went out in the city that I was in and went to meet fans because that's the most important part of drag right now that I'm you know, in quarantine like the heart of drag has been stolen from me.
Sarah Lazarus:Well, cameo You know what?
Miz Cracker:That you know what? Don't don't don't sleep on cameo because cameo. If you want the if you want the in person experience, okay, go to cameo.com or.org or .net and and hook me up if you want if you want a 15 minute story, I will give it to you $75 at a time.
Sarah Lazarus:Gosh, I think I think I got a cameo once from Countess luann and I think
Miz Cracker:wow,
Sarah Lazarus:yeah, it was it was fabulous. Honestly, she she we I think we have the same birthday too. But it cameo is a great great experience
Miz Cracker:you'd be shocked at who you cameo from like, just If you can dream it. You can be it. You know what I mean?
Sarah Lazarus:I think Lindsay Lohan is on cameo and she charges like $400 or something
Miz Cracker:honestly? worth every penny.
Unknown:I would I would if I had it. Um, so Lindsay Lohan she's just on her Beach Club and she is you know, she's twirling around there and that's your she doesn't I would love to honestly like the Kirkland brand vanderpump rules was that show the beach?
Miz Cracker:Yes, yes, yes, absolutely.
Unknown:I love a car. I live for it though. I was there. So okay, you were on season 10 What was your life then? Then you were like thriving You were so amazing to watch on season 10 and you went on to all stars which everyone was anticipating obviously because you're fabulous.
Sarah Lazarus:And what was that? What is that experience like?
Miz Cracker:Well, it was exciting part was finding out that I was invited to be on I was in a hotel room with my sister in London. And she was like oh my god my doctor just called I found out I'm pregnant I'm so excited my dreams come true. And I was like guess what bitches checkmate because I bought all stars so so it was just this No, it was this really amazing day where we got to just have our dreams come true. And I think that was the best moment of all stars
Sarah Lazarus:yes two mazels
Miz Cracker:yes two mazels
Sarah Lazarus:how was pork chop?
Miz Cracker:Yeah. Delicious. And yeah, so she taught me a lot about leaning into the stress and embracing it, but not letting it overpower you.
Sarah Lazarus:Yes, yes, yes. I mean, it just watching. It definitely feels like bootcamp for all of you. Just the, I'm sure the we don't even get to see the quarter of the amount of work that you all do. But it's just
Miz Cracker:boot camp for sure. Yeah, yeah. And I can say that having
Unknown:never been to boot camp.
Sarah Lazarus:So what's so next for you, you have a podcast coming out? And we want to know, what's the premise of that? And when does it come out?
Miz Cracker:The podcast comes out December 7, and it is interviews with incredible women from all walks of life. And I wanted to do this podcast because I had done a series of interviews with amazing women as part as my as part of my show American woman. But I was like, I am addicted to this. I can't stop. I think this is such an important project and my co pilot, Caitlin, and I decided we would magnify it into a whole podcast series. And here we are, a mere two years later launching our little ship.
Sarah Lazarus:So Caitlin, who she is, I know she's the one in the background of your videos is she like your, your was your roommate, right? Or she was she?
Miz Cracker:I would call Caitlyn my co-pilot. Okay. It's like, if I'm asleep at the wheel, she's there. And, you know, I bounce all my ideas off her. And I'll be like, look at this thing that I designed and she's like like don't wear that And yeah, yeah, it's like a sounding board. And it's a my, what do you call it? I can't remember. I can't remember what it's called... my proxy. Because if, if there's ever a decision that needs to be made, and I'm out of it busy or gone. I could trust her to make the decision on my behalf. And I'll like, wake up and be like, what did we decide and be happy with? That? I mean, and yeah, it's like someone that really understands me. Which is, you know, not that hard. I like food.
Sarah Lazarus:That's, wait, that that moves to my next question. So I guess this is similar. Antoni. I want I love that video of you and Antoni.
Miz Cracker:Oh, my God. making a video with Antoni was like, it's so fun. Getting Miss Cookie into drag was like, obviously, the peak of my transformer experiences. But Antoni was a close second. Like, there's something about our personalities that just gel really well, maybe Yeah, both like very Polish. I'm not trying to find out anything more about Antoni because my is a wonderful, dude. I mean, my dad is so wonderful that I just want to leave it right there. You know,
Sarah Lazarus:Ava cado was iconic. Anthony is just such a funny person. He's like, gorgeous, but people like... People love to believe him on the internet, which I think is so funny. I think it's because he's like, too nice is the thing about him, you know, when you're that pretty and like, nice. You know, you're just an open target, I think
Miz Cracker:right. Oh, absolutely.
Sarah Lazarus:I feel like it's like the Debbie Ryan and like now.
Miz Cracker:Uh huh.
Sarah Lazarus:The guy from Glee is getting that I've myself have participated in that with the Mr. Mr. Schuester?
Miz Cracker:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Sarah Lazarus:People just come for him. And I think it's it's really funny.
Vinny:I know that I wanted to ask you, I know you've said before, that the most important part of drag is connecting with people. And you kind of touched on it today too. And I wanted to ask, you know, in you know, this time, is that really completely lost? Have you been able to find that sort of connecting with people through drag anywhere? I mean, what or is it really just lost? Is it just trash?
Miz Cracker:I mean, yeah, like that, that desire is still there and you try to find ways to do that kind of thing and to connect with people individually and what I've been doing like as part of these projects that are coming up, I have these singles coming out. One of them is with Juju and one of them is solo. I've been working on a lot of behind the scenes, videos and stuff like that because I want to get you know, the what drag is like and how, how happy and fun it can be.
Sarah Lazarus:Are you doing those like drive driving shows that I've seen?
Miz Cracker:Yeah, I'm definitely doing I'm definitely doing drive in shows too. And I have sort of moved on towards doing more stand up. So I don't perform with queens as much anymore. I perform with stand up comedians, and that has been a real blast, because, oh, we think queens are so funny. Just the way we think that queens are such great dancers, but then you go to the ballet and you're like, Oh, my God. And it's the same thing with comedy. Like you're like, oh, that queen is so funny. And then you go to a stand up show. And like the most basic off the street, like random comedian is 10 times as hilarious. You know, I mean, it's just so amazing to see the talent that's out there. And it's really inspiring.
Sarah Lazarus:Yes. So what's next for you? In the post COVID world? You got the single coming out of the podcast? Anything else we should look out for?
Miz Cracker:Yes, absolutely. I have my tour. She's a woman which is going through North America only. And it's a very exclusive limited tour. So get your ticket. Now. It's on she's a woman tours calm. I have toured other shows exclusively in the UK and Australia or blah, blah, blah. This is an exclusive American tour. So come see it. It's going to be all new music. All new comedy. All new video all new cracker the whole it's the crackers world, fresh serve just for the American and Canadian audience. So I'm excited.
Sarah Lazarus:We're like not allowed to travel to other countries? either, right?
Miz Cracker:Yes. banned from other countries. It's called exclusive
Vinny:Singles come out with jujubee. When do those singles come out? The one with jujubee that you just mentioned when should we look out for those
Miz Cracker:the single with jujubee was called eight days of you and it comes out in December 4, just in time for Hanukkah. And then get me the fuck out of here, which is my second single comes out on December 10.
Sarah Lazarus:Yes, yes. So we have to know and if this is traumatizing, you don't have to answer this. But did you ever catch the person who robbed you in Dublin?
Miz Cracker:We never caught the person that robbed us in Dublin and honestly, if I had taken off my heels maybe I could have caught him. Like wait after him and my heels like get back here sir.
Sarah Lazarus:You said that. You said that nothing. Nothing is real. That doesn't happen in heels. So you needed that you know for the the memoir you need to
Unknown:ask.
Miz Cracker:Absolutely That is absolutely true. Thank you for reminding me of that. If it didn't happen in Heels it didn't happen.
Sarah Lazarus:Exactly. So now we're gonna move on to a fun game section and Vinny Do you want to do you want to take this away?
Vinny:Sure. We have first we have a mad lib a Ms. cracker pertinent mad lib. So if you would like to begin I would like to have a food product please.
Miz Cracker:Pickle.
Vinny:And now a family member like cousin sister.
Miz Cracker:Yes, sister, sister.
Vinny:Now Could I please have three adjectives?
Unknown:delightful.
Miz Cracker:A grim, and fancy.
Vinny:Now a plural noun.
Miz Cracker:Women
Vinny:nice and now two verbs.
Miz Cracker:Um, run and cook
Vinny:Perfect. Okay, you may or may not have sussed it out. But this is a Madlib to the first verse of she's a woman.
Miz Cracker:Yeah.
Vinny:Um, now I'm going to screenshot this and I'm going to send it over this zoom chat because I am what tech savvy?
Miz Cracker:Oh, my goodness. Am I gonna be tech savvy enough to receive it?
Vinny:Okay, I just sent it in the chat.
Miz Cracker:It's shared a file in the meeting. Okay, here we go. It's up clicked open. I'm doing it.
Vinny:anticipation.
Miz Cracker:Hey, looky here. It's the pickle sister. Oh, hello. Yes, delightful, grim and fancy. Once you have a taste. You know me I try to bring the women I think we improved the song yes yes i
Sarah Lazarus:pickle sister would be my drag me
Miz Cracker:yeah it's the pickle sister
Vinny:I love it
Sarah Lazarus:What's your favorite pickle brand I just am curious because I
Miz Cracker:Oh lover I don't have a favorite pickle brand as long as it isn't a butter pickle or whatever oh it's to be a
Sarah Lazarus:fuck that
Unknown:the sweet pickles i agree i do like
Sarah Lazarus:there those are not real Okay, well that that segues to this section we're calling this review with to Jews. Oh well then vinny's a little left out of that
Unknown:I have
Miz Cracker:Two jews and a gentile
Sarah Lazarus:so I don't know. I just thought you know, we would talk about like to culturally fit on to weird cultural phenomenons pop culture phenomenon and review it and talk about our feelings about it. And the first one is Roseanne Barr's national anthem. Have you seen it before?
Miz Cracker:Yes, I have seen Roseanne Barr's national anthem
Sarah Lazarus:well. What what are your thoughts about this?
Miz Cracker:I mean, it's been a long time, but it's nice.
Sarah Lazarus:Should I watch it together again? Yeah, yes, I'm not sitting over
Miz Cracker:who thought this was a good idea. Anyway.
Unknown:This is what I remember it being
Sarah Lazarus:all right enough.
Miz Cracker:Who thought it was a good idea to let her do that?
Sarah Lazarus:Oh, you know what, here's the thing if I were on like if I were one of the producers on that I would have been like, you know what, this is Camp. And I would have gotten fired immediately after.
Unknown:You know what? You just don't understand. You don't understand camp so many people don't understand. This is commentary.
Sarah Lazarus:I you know what i i here's the thing about Roseanne. She's just you know, she's an Ambien queen. She's taken an Ambien tweeting things, and I relate
Miz Cracker:Ambien queen. Oh, my God. That was me in my 20s. Really, my my friend called me back one morning and she was like, so don't take Ambien and use the phone anymore. I was like, why? I can't call anyone else besides you. I'm naked,
Sarah Lazarus:I have really bad insomnia. So I do take it but I make sure that I put my phone away. Oh, yeah, you need to like a hannibal mask and straps and everything. It's It's really scary. Honestly, I like wake up and forget what I like watch the night before.
Miz Cracker:Oh, God. Yeah,
Sarah Lazarus:I'm just at a really Yeah, I was at the point. I'm like lowering the amount I take every night but it's it's No, I'll give Roseanne the pass because because
Miz Cracker:Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Sarah Lazarus:Exactly. Forget it. It never happened, you know. Um, okay, so do you want to move on to our next game Vinny?
Vinny:Definitely our next game is called deal with it. It is essentially just Would you rather which one of these things do you personally prefer?
Miz Cracker:Okay,
Vinny:Sarah, take it away.
Sarah Lazarus:Okay. Deal with it. Senator Jia gun or Secretary of Treasury Mimi, Imfurst.
Miz Cracker:Wait, which one? Do I say? What I'm supposed to say which one I could deal with? or? Yeah, yeah. Senator Jia gun or treasure? Mimi Imfurst. Yeah. I definitely could deal with Senator Gia Gunn. We wouldn't be like what's that senator, up to you know what i mean.
Sarah Lazarus:Next I had those electoral ballots. Right. It's illegal.
Mr. DeSeno:Really? I mean, do you have gone?
Sarah Lazarus:Well, I feel like me me I'm first there would be like it would be Raven being like How many electoral college votes did you get? Not a lot, but you know?
Miz Cracker:Oh Exactly.
Sarah Lazarus:That'd be my dream for how that would go and like
Miz Cracker:to see.
Unknown:Yes,
Mr. DeSeno:next up we have COVID-19 or COVID sweet 16
Unknown:Well, I have gained a COVID 36 at this point
Miz Cracker:COVID sweet 16 Get it over with
Sarah Lazarus:Okay, this one's a little dark. Would you rather break your Eureka's knee or be the last surviving butterfly in Asia O'Hara's bracelet?
Miz Cracker:I would like to like break your Eureka's knee
Unknown:we know she can recover you know.
Sarah Lazarus:There's a full there's a full arc there.
Miz Cracker:Yeah, it's me notes you can recover in style. Do and do and then another three seasons of Yes. Holidays special.
Unknown:10 nine, all of it. Maybe Oh, yeah.
Sarah Lazarus:She will. She will live past the cockroaches with Cher you know? Exactly, exactly.
Vinny:Um, finally, we have bullying Mandy Patinkin or getting a fistful of Cheez Whiz right up the ass.
Miz Cracker:Oh, fistful and Cheez Whiz, please.
Sarah Lazarus:We do not bully Mandy Patinkin here. I had a whole argument with Vinny about this.
Vinny:I wasn't bullying Mandy Patinkin
Miz Cracker:My cell phone just hit the floor. Is it okay? Yeah, she's fine. I mean, the screen is and always will be broken in anyway.
Sarah Lazarus:Oh, no,
Miz Cracker:I'm that person. The person broken phone screen. I just realized that
Sarah Lazarus:that's you need to fix that. Yeah, you should get that the what's the big the good air the OtterBox those are
Miz Cracker:I was gonna say otter box. Those are the best ones.
Sarah Lazarus:You know, I know like a little scam with the OtterBox the lifeproof case, if you go on into their warranty section and you say you like they broke, they'll send you a new one. You don't even have to like have proof of buying it. Anyway.
Miz Cracker:So great, because I know look at exchanging coupon advice.
Sarah Lazarus:There you go.
Unknown:You cannot This is like just a Jewish event. You know, you might as well there
Sarah Lazarus:will be a bar mitzvah, you know.
Unknown:Okay, funny happy.
Sarah Lazarus:Yes. Finally, we have Mary fuck Hill and if you've ever played this, it's very new
Miz Cracker:so hard. I hate marry fuck kill
Unknown:But he really
Sarah Lazarus:okay, Vinny, take it away.
Vinny:Okay, first up, we have Twitter fleets. Dwayne Reed fleets, or bottoming on nothing but bar soap and prayer.
Miz Cracker:Oh, Mary bottoming or nothing but Barstow and prayer, because faith is an important part of my life. I'm a kill the Twitter fleets. I'm like, I don't even know what that is. And Fuck CVS please. Because those have vinegar in them and that is not good for me
Vinny:Okay, final one. Jew Paul's Bar Mitzvah.
Miz Cracker:Not JewPaul That sounds like Josh Rogin would call him
Unknown:the Jew Paul's.
Sarah Lazarus:Okay. RuPaul is always wearing Jewish stars. And I'm like, What is going on here on this day
Miz Cracker:what is happening? Yeah, I know. I know. It's very confusing.
Sarah Lazarus:Is Michelle Visage Jewish?
Miz Cracker:Let me tell you we worked on the Sabbath so
Sarah Lazarus:Really? Tea. I just think Yeah, they're like, you better get through it. God is gonna have to forgive you. Yeah.
Miz Cracker:Forty days and forty nights
Sarah Lazarus:literally, that's what is oh my gosh, okay, she Paul's Bar Mitzvah and let's Manischewitz and making Monet X-change a renewable energy source.
Miz Cracker:Okay. What did it What was the Manischewitz One
Sarah Lazarus:endless, Manischewitz
Miz Cracker:Oh, my God, I just had Manischewitz the other day.
Sarah Lazarus:Really? Why?
Miz Cracker:Exactly, exactly why? So I would, um, marry a RuPaul JewPaul Bar Mitzvah because there's money there
Sarah Lazarus:that's true
Unknown:Ah, I would um fuck Monet exchange as a renewable energy source because she is a renewable energy sources that's like hydro electric power um she is girl noble
Sarah Lazarus:ah sponge noble
Mr. DeSeno:as much
Unknown:know
Miz Cracker:and whatever the last one I'll kill that
Sarah Lazarus:endless maneshewitz
Miz Cracker:girl that got to go need to go
Sarah Lazarus:you know what we had actually we were at that I don't know if you know in Harlem there's that Ethiopian restaurant it's off one last time I said my address
Miz Cracker:up on 116th Street
Sarah Lazarus:145
Miz Cracker:I don't know that one.
Sarah Lazarus:Oh yeah, it's it's like really good but we had like, what do we have Vinny? It was like great wine, honey wanting to kind of tasted like a light Manischewitz? Honestly, it was very good. Highly recommend
Miz Cracker:Light Manischewitz. Okay. I'm into it.
Sarah Lazarus:What was that place? I don't remember. But it's it's very good. We've talked about it so many times on here, but it's really good. Good restaurant. Um, well, Anyways, thank you so much for joining us. It's been a time and a half and like we're huge fans. We love everything that you do and your energy. Your energy is just so amazing and incredible to watch. And we look forward to everything in the future. Maybe one day we'll meet when there's a post post COVID world.
Miz Cracker:Thank you so much. Thank you both for having me on. I really appreciate it.
Sarah Lazarus:Of course, it's an honor. Vinny, you want to leave us with our end quote. We leave our guests with a little piece of just a quote. It's not even an advice. It's just something you need to hear.
Mr. DeSeno:No,
Vinny:thank you so much for coming on. It's been a dream it's been an honor. And always remember Barbra Streisand once said Success to me is having 10 honeydew melons and eating only the top half of each slice Follow us on Twitter at wish you were weird one that is the letter you not the word you and if you come across that bitch ass Twitter that has wish you were weird report them
Sarah Lazarus:this episode of wish you were weird was sponsored by nobody. Please sponsor us. Thanks you.