On this week’s episode of Enneagram IRL, we discuss the motivations of each Enneagram type while also touching on what each type avoids. As we explore each type, we provide real-life examples of the motivations and behaviors, highlighting how they can show up in everyday life.
If you have any examples of how you've seen your own type's motivation show up in your day-to-day life, we want to hear them! DM us your stories @ninetypesco on Instagram!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Want to keep the conversation going? Join me on Instagram @ninetypesco to keep learning and chatting about how our types show up in REAL LIFE! Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/ninetypesco/?hl=en
Want to stay up to date with all things Nine Types Co? Join my email-list and receive Enneagram reflections, thoughts about growth and personal development. Plus, you’ll get priority access to new offers and courses! Sign up here.
Schedule a consultation to learn more about booking an Enneagram training for your team! All trainings are led by Stephanie Barron Hall (M.A. Organizational Communication & Leadership, Chestnut Paes Enneagram Certified, Integrative9 Accredited Enneagram Professional). https://ninetypes.co
On this week’s episode of Enneagram IRL, we discuss the motivations of each Enneagram type while also touching on what each type avoids. As we explore each type, we provide real-life examples of the motivations and behaviors, highlighting how they can show up in everyday life.
If you have any examples of how you've seen your own type's motivation show up in your day-to-day life, we want to hear them! DM us your stories @ninetypesco on Instagram!
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Want to keep the conversation going? Join me on Instagram @ninetypesco to keep learning and chatting about how our types show up in REAL LIFE! Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/ninetypesco/?hl=en
Want to stay up to date with all things Nine Types Co? Join my email-list and receive Enneagram reflections, thoughts about growth and personal development. Plus, you’ll get priority access to new offers and courses! Sign up here.
Schedule a consultation to learn more about booking an Enneagram training for your team! All trainings are led by Stephanie Barron Hall (M.A. Organizational Communication & Leadership, Chestnut Paes Enneagram Certified, Integrative9 Accredited Enneagram Professional). https://ninetypes.co
Hello, and welcome back to Enneagram in real life. A podcast that will help you go beyond any grand theory into practical understanding so that you can apply the Enneagram in your day-to-day life. I'm your host, Steph Baron hall, creator of nine types co on Instagram, author of the Enneagram in love, accredited Enneagram, professional, and ennea curious human, just like you be sure to check out the show notes for more ways to apply the Enneagram and your daily life. Thanks so much for listening and now onto the show.
Steph Barron Hall:welcome back to an Agram in real life where we explore how to apply or an gram knowledge in our daily lives. I'm Steph,
Heidi Alaniz Critz:And I'm Heidi.
Steph Barron Hall:and today we're going to do something a little different. We are going to review all nine types to give you a general idea of each of them. And if you'd prefer to read this content, you can actually find it, on my website, by downloading my free self typing guide, which covers all this info. So it'll be on my website, which is nine types.co or in the show notes. And because we have a lot to cover today, we are not going to go into our normal segment. And we're gonna dive right into the show. So it comes to the Enneagram, I think the most important thing for people to understand is some of the. Structure of the system itself. Heidi and I are both trained in, um, the Chestnut, PA, and Agram school. And so we kind of look a lot at the centers of intelligence and those sorts of things. If you don't know what that means, um, we'll jump right back into that in a second. Um, but we look a lot at centers of intelligence and subtypes. So in our descriptions today, we're not going to cover that in too much detail because it is covered in my course, which is called Engram in, in real life, just like this podcast. But that is the order that we're gonna use as we go through them. So we're gonna start with type eight, which is the body center, eight, nine, and one. And then we'll move to the heart center two, three, and four, and then we'll move into the head center five, six, and seven. We won't cover subtypes, but we've tried to make these descriptions general enough that it can kind of cover the subtypes for the most part, but we might add some additional. Info just to make sure that you're understanding everything. Um, if, if there is a little bit of a subtype, uh, difference there, if you don't know what subtypes are, you can download my subtypes guide freebie also. So I'll put that in the show notes as well. But it just goes through what subtypes are, what everything kind of means, all the language that we kind of use around that. Um, and it's just a very general introductory guide, um, that you could use. So anything I'm missing, Heidi?
Heidi Alaniz Critz:No, I think that sounds great. Yeah, and I think this is gonna be a really helpful episode.
Steph Barron Hall:Cool. Yeah. So let's dive into it a little bit more. Um, first let's talk a bit about the core motivation. So a lot of the time, this is a word you'll hear in an agram circles, like what's the core motivation? And for a long time I've actually used kind of a shorter or, um, almost like pit theier kind of one sentence motivation. But as I've been exploring the engram for these years, I've found that it's really useful to think of it as more of like a set of motivations or, um, underlying, you know, persistent beliefs about the world and about ourselves that drive our behavior. And as well as attentions, like where does our attention naturally flow? Um, we have those for all nine types. So we're, we're gonna kind of incorporate those ideas into our descriptions today. And you'll also hear us talking about what the types are avoiding. So this is kind of the opposite of the motivation, like the motivation is more about what we're driven toward and that what they're avoiding is more about what they're driven away from. So they're kind of two sides of the same coin. Um, but we'll talk about those. And a lot of the time I find that people resonate deeper with what they're avoiding, or sometimes it's called the core fear. Um, and that can be useful because it can help us see, you know, why we're avoiding that thing, you know, what's happening there that we don't wanna see it, and, and what we might miss when we avoid it so much. Um, so I think that'll be a really useful way to frame this. I also did a podcast episode on what we miss when we over focus on certain things, and we can link that in the show notes as well. Um, because. That is kind of a different layer of this same concept. So quickly before we go into the nine types, the mo, the thing about motivation is that we read all nine of them, especially if they're the short, pithy ones. You know, I've had to do it in a minute before where I go through all nine motivations and, um, the thing about them is that they are a lot more buried than we think. We think it would be really natural for us to say, oh, this is my motivation. But just like you heard, you know, with Heidi on our intro episode, it took a while to determine that. Um, and then for me, even though I instantly kind of knew my core type, uh, my subtype took longer. And I think that it's just a lot more buried than we think. We think that we know ourselves well, but um, it turns out self knowledge is hard. So, um, sometimes it's easy to see. Some people there's like, yep, that's the one. And for some people it's not. And there's nothing that's better or worse about that. Um, so it's also helpful to keep in mind it's not the only motivation that we have. So there are a lot of other things that are kind of installed by our parents or our, um, family of origin, our upbringing, all these different things that make us be driven towards certain things, um, that cause us to feel driven toward certain ideas or certain concepts or certain situations, um, that might not exactly align with our Ngram type. So I think that's useful to keep in mind. Also, it might not always be a perfect fit, so sometimes it's helpful to look at what's closest and to try to understand how you've seen that show up throughout your life. Um, and it's also okay if it takes time to figure it out. We really want. It to be like I take a quick quiz and then I know what it is, but that's just not how we work, unfortunately. Um, so there are a lot of reasons why we have all these sets of, um, motivations or these sets of behaviors. They're all survival strategies that we've absolutely needed to get through life. But doing Enneagram work is about understanding, okay, now I'm an adult and I actually don't need these survival strategies anymore and it would actually be better if I could unlearn some of these things. And so finding that buried motivation can be a really useful way to approach that. Anything you wanna add?
Heidi Alaniz Critz:No, I think that, I think that sounds good. I think that you kind of touched on everything, um, and just as you said, you know, we're into like setting subtypes and things like that and, um, while there are like dif uh, people of the same type might show up differently, but it's really, um, I think they share that same common motivation. So yeah, that's what we'll be kind of talking about today.
Steph Barron Hall:Yeah, absolutely. I think that's so important because, um, I mean even I love talking about that concept of like how people of the same type show up differently, or even people of different types show up similarly, but for different reasons. Like, oh, I do this for this reason and you do this for this reason. Like, that's fascinating to me. Um, so we might touch on that a bit, um, as we go through today.
Heidi Alaniz Critz:Yeah. Sounds great.
Steph Barron Hall:Okay. So let's start with type eight. And again, these descriptions are gonna be pretty general. I like am having such a hard time with this because I want it to be practical, but I also am so like, like, oh, I don't wanna be too reductive. But that's just, you know, we'll be here all day if we, if we go too deep into all of these. So we're gonna give you kind of a surface overview. Um, but there's definitely a lot more to know beneath the surface. So type eight eights are known for being powerful and dynamic. They are motivated by a need to be against, and that's not to be contrarian, but really as a way to show strength and protect themselves from being too vulnerable. eights are gut driven and instinctual, so they know what to do next, Like they always have this sense of like, this is the next thing I'm gonna do. And even when they don't, They really approach most of life with strength, confidence, and grit. Eights are well acquainted with anger, but don't always experience it that way. I find that a lot of eights actually describe it as passion or fire or energy. Of course it comes across as anger sometimes to other people, but they are not necessarily always experiencing anger. But because of this, they tend to confront issues head on. And this is not to say that they enjoy conflict, but they rarely shy away from it because they just see it as a necessary part of life and relationships. And of course, sometimes we all know people who really like to incite, you know, conflict or debate. Um, and I find that even when HR that way, a lot of the time they don't really take it personally when they disagree with somebody else and they can kind of move on. And so this assertiveness and the volume that they often use, not all eights are this way, especially self-preservation. Eights can be a bit quieter, but especially, you know, social and especially sexual eights, you'll hear a lot more volume or you'll hear a lot more like, um, they might have been told from a young age that they don't have an inside voice. Um, and so that way of being causes them to be misunderstood, as tough or angry. But I find that a lot of the eights that I know in my life are very kind and tender. Once you get to know them, um, it just might take a little bit longer. Um, but once you're kind of in their corner and, and you're their person, they are more kind and tender. Um, and they can be great friends and just, I don't know, great people. I like AIDS a lot. Um, so eights avoid being betrayed or controlled by someone else, which leads them To avoid showing vulnerability or weakness. And, um, the thing about it is that really vulnerability feels dangerous because it's kind of showing this soft spot that can be exploited. Um, if you think of it like it's not necessarily, um, an image thing, which is how, maybe a three, we'll talk about threes later, but a three might see it more as an image thing. But, um, for an eight it's more like allowing people to impact their lives or allowing people to impact their heart. Um, that feels really vulnerable. And so, um, they can be very transparent and very honest, but that doesn't mean that they necessarily let people in behind the curtain. Um, because that means, oh, like that person could betray me, that person could control me. So for some eights, any vulnerability they see in themselves or others, Is intolerable. Um, like they might kind of like deny that it even exists. They might try to overpower their own body like when they're sick or they're tired, um, or they might, you know, kind of be a little bit irritated with people who are too weak or vulnerable. Um, but other eights see that vulnerability in others, like especially this is descriptive of social eights. Um, they see vulnerability in others and that ignites a desire to protect those people from harm just like they might protect themselves. So different eights approach it different ways, but in general they don't like that feeling of being, um, like allowing people to have any sort of control or say over them. so let's talk about some examples. Heidi, do you have any examples you wanna share of eights you've seen?
Heidi Alaniz Critz:Yeah. Um, I also really love aids. I had an eight, uh, leader, who is one of my favorite. just because they do value, transparency and honesty, and they're not afraid to kind of leave it on the table. Um, like I remember we had a, an issue and I just came to that eight and, you know, he said his piece, I said mine. And it was like, awesome. Like, that was just like you said, they don't take it personally. It's like, okay, here's a solution. It was great. So yeah, I really find that, I, from that aspect, I saw the eight kind of take me under the wing and, and really be supportive and things like that. So, so that's how I, kind of Nate in my life. What about you?
Steph Barron Hall:Yeah. I love that because I think that's something I like about eights too, where, um, they'll let you know if there's an issue and that feels really safe to me as a three where I'm like, with a lot of people, I'm like, uh, you know, are things going? And I've learned over time, you know, obviously to work on that for myself, but with an eight, it's just like, all right, they're, they're gonna let me know, you know, it's great. Um, I think that I've seen this tendency to not recognize pain in themselves. Like even I've worked with a lot of different eight as, um, friends or coachee or, or even in, in teams where they might not even realize they're in physical pain or, um, they might be really tired and they just don't allow themselves to experience that. And then one day they eventually crash because they're like, oh, I was just pushing through all of this. Um, and sometimes it's because that can be seen as weakness. Um, but other times it's like, I will conquer this. I will push through, I will make things happen. Um, But one of the best examples I think, for type eight that I've seen is when I was working with an organization and we just started talking about the conflict thing, like, why do people think that eights are so conflictual? And it was because, and I kind of developed this concept around it that I've now talked about a lot, which is the threshold concept. So basically, eights tend to have a higher threshold for what feels like conflict than others. So if you imagine an eight, you know, they have this high threshold for conflict, they have a a conversation with somebody else who has a low threshold for conflict, that other person is gonna walk away thinking. We just had a fight and the eight is like, we just had a great conversation. Um, and so I think that that's really useful to consider because a lot of the time people misunderstand that. Um, and I think it's helpful for eights too, to notice like, oh, okay, I'm doing a thing now and I'm not feeling like it's conflict, but maybe I should check in with that person and be like, we're cool, you know, we're okay. Um, and for other people to recognize like, oh, I'm feeling triggered by this and, you know, maybe I should have a conversation and, and check in with the ape. I think that's really useful because in general, everything I do when I, I teach the in agram is like trying to help people communicate about their communication style. And that can really ease a lot of the communication I found. And so I think that's one way that that eights can be. Can find this work really, really useful.
Heidi Alaniz Critz:Yeah, I agree.
Steph Barron Hall:So let's dive into type nine.
Heidi Alaniz Critz:Yeah, so type nine s are known for being harmonious and agreeable. Um, they are motivated by a need to find internal and external piece, uh, to the point where they, they can even forget to give attention to their own thoughts and feelings and desires. they can have a difficult time speaking up for what they want or need or even knowing what they want or need. Um, but nines do have an easier time, you know, speaking up for others, you know, if there's like an underdog, things like that. Um, in a sense, nines are motivated by inclusivity. They're focused on making sure everyone is heard and part of the group, and I mean, they themselves don't really like to be left out, so I think, um, they're kind of on watch for that as well. so while the core motivation for nines is often about peace, it's also about balance and unity. Um, they want everything to be fair and equitable. Um, so they're driven to bring equanimity in that sense. I think comfort is a big thing for nines. Um, nines often move toward comfort, ease, and simplicity. And some nines find this in routine, like self press nines, so beneath the surface, nines don't always experience themselves as quite so peaceful. I think this can be kind of a typing trip up when, um, you know, they, nines see this in the description and, and, um, like they do have a unique relationship with anger and it can also even leak out as passive aggression. so nines can be very easygoing, but I mean, nobody likes to be taken advantage of. So they can be stubborn at times when they feel like others are disregarding their perspective or not respecting their independence. Um, they don't really like being told what to do or being pushed. So, um, I think that's something they keep in mind. so nines avoid conflict. so due to the fact that they are so concerned about harmony, um, they specifically avoid being the cause of conflict and disconnection. Um, and sometimes even internal conflicts such as, you know, bringing attention to strong beliefs they hold internally can be uncomfortable. Um, a nine once explained to me that when they sense conflict in the room, they feel like an uncomfortable sensation in their body, almost like a buzzing, even if it's like underlying conflict, they said it's just like they sense it in the air. So, yeah, I, I think overall, like they're natural mediators and peacemakers who make others feel at home. and they tend to be kind, connective and deliberate. Uh, Steph, what would you say, um, like do you have any examples of nines in, in your life?
Steph Barron Hall:yeah, I think that something I've seen from nines is like not seeing how important their contribution is. Um, they kind of tend to think like, oh, other people are doing this. Like, it doesn't really matter if I say anything or not. And I mean, I think that's really sad cuz I'm like, no it's, it's important cuz you're saying it like you have a really unique perspective. And I actually feel like I've had the benefit of being able to ask people on Instagram, you know, what do you think about this? And when I ask, you know, nines are not worried about filtering so much. And so I, I get a lot of unfiltered opinions, which I think is great. Like, I don't think that that's, you know, something that I always see. And I think that that's one of the reasons, again, why people, um, don't see that about nines. Cuz I find that sometimes nines when they're, they're feeling safe, um, they are a little bit more opinionated. Um, they share their strongly held opinions. Uh,
Heidi Alaniz Critz:Yeah.
Steph Barron Hall:a lot of nines have a lot of strongly held opinions, um, but it just requires a bit more safety for them to, to share that. so one thing I see with nines a lot is like this tendency to think it's not gonna matter if I show up or not. Um, because if you don't see yourself as an important contributor, even in a relationship, um, it can be really easy to just not be there, to not show up. And so I have seen that with nines where they think like, well, you know, it's not gonna matter to that person if I'm there, not cause I don't matter at all. Um, and then they don't show up and the other person feels hurt, um, because they're like, oh, you actually do matter and it actually does impact me when you don't show up in this relationship or, um, this conversation or even, you know, following through on what you said you were gonna do. Um, and so I think it's really helpful for nines to recognize. How much they do impact others and how much their, their perspective really matters.
Heidi Alaniz Critz:Yeah. Yeah. No, I agree with that. I love that. I have, a few, nine friends and there's some in my family, um, an extended family and it's so easy to see like the power that they have, I think, and it's, it's interesting to hear their perspective that it's just really hard for them to kind of acknowledge that themselves. I really like that you brought that up.
Steph Barron Hall:Yeah, I love it. Okay. Let's talk about type one s. So ones are known for being diligent and industrious. They are idealists who view the world in terms of what could be, and therefore they work tirelessly to bring that ideal to fruition. But along the way they experience deep frustration because it's really hard to do that. It's really hard to bring these ideals. And I should also mention that different subtypes of type one see these ideals differently. Some are really focused on their own internal perfection. Some are really focused on like more social ideals, like how do I make this world the best it possibly could be? Um, and others are really focused on specific things and especially like, you know, their partner or specific others kind of acting correctly and they might not even see how much they're doing that. regardless, a lot of the time ones feel like they're the only adult in the room, so that feels challenging. Um, and so they are really motivated by this need to be morally good, right. And correct. And it's really. Again, it's, it's about integrity, it's about morality, their own sense of morality. It, that can vary widely. So someones might think it's ethical or moral to do X and others think it's moral to do Y. So you have two ones who are both strongly holding their, their perspective on what's moral or what's right, but it, it could be a different thing. Um, and, and so it's about these concepts and, and about ethics rather than about being the best. And I think that's a really important distinction to make because that's one of the big differences between one and three. So threes I think, are a lot more focused on the image, a aspect of that, the image of being the best. Um, whereas ones are a lot more focused on like, I am doing the things that I. Need or want to do. They don't wanna let people down. But it's not because they need everyone to think that they're amazing. It's because they see like, I have this potential, or I committed to this thing. Like, I know ones who will never commit to something unless they know for certain that they can follow through on it. Um, so it's kind of like more, more that aspect. so ones really aim to find a deep sense that everything is good, that all is well in the world and inside themselves. And so they have this strong sense of justice. They wanna make the world a better place and they have this natural relationship to anger, but they suppress their anger. So we've mentioned anger for all of the body types so far. Um, and that's one of the core motions for the body types. Um, and they really suppress their anger because they believe it isn't right or appropriate to express it. And so one's often fear that they're somehow. Deficient or corrupt, and they work incredibly hard to avoid that experience. so they build the, these strict guidelines to keep themselves or, you know, the object of their, their, um, instruction in line. Um, believing that this is the only way to ensure that they're always good and never bad. Similarly, ones develop rules that are important to them. And so as long as they follow them, they can be reasonably certain that they won't be blamed if something goes awry. That's kind of the thinking. Um, and they also tend to believe that there's one right way of doing things, and they tend to be more black and white thinkers with strong moral convictions. A focus on improvement and insistent on total self-control. Um, now that's very true for, uh, Self-preservation ones, social ones are not as focused on self-control in exactly that way. And then sexual ones might think so that these are the different subtypes. Sexual ones might think that it's right to have self-control and might try to enforce that on others, but don't always do that for themselves. ones can often see how they fall short. So they're very self-critical and they feel that their self-control or responsibility is not complete enough. Especially like they might look at descriptions of one and be like, I'm not good enough to be a quote unquote perfectionist or something like that. Um, and so they're like, I haven't met a hundred percent of the guidelines for type one, so I'm not a one. Um, and that again is just another example of the way that, that they tend to approach those things. so do you have any examples you wanna share, Heidi?
Heidi Alaniz Critz:Yeah. so again, I have, I feel like, yeah, I'm just surrounded by all of the types and it's so colorful and beautiful, but, um, yeah, so I'm close to a few ones as well. And, I just love how, again, I think one's really value communication and they wanna make sure that, you know, what they communicated is what they meant. And if, you know, maybe something was, uh, they wanna make sure something wasn't miscommunicated, I'll always get a text, you know, saying, Hey, just so you know, like, I, this is what I really meant. Um, and, you know, I just wanna make sure, you know, da da da da da. So, um, I just love that intentionality of ones. And so that's kind of, an example that,
Steph Barron Hall:That sounds very self press one to me.
Heidi Alaniz Critz:I'm surrounded by a few self press ones, so Very true. Yeah.
Steph Barron Hall:Well it's interesting cuz the example I'm thinking of is actually somebody I interviewed for my book. Um, and, and I've actually seen this in various ones, but it's this tendency to be so rigid and so black and white about what is quote unquote correct, that they don't realize that they're being unkind. Um, and like the person I interviewed, so they're a social one. And they had this experience where it, like, it was almost like this, the film just lifted and they were able to see like, oh my gosh, I've been so unkind, or I've been so, um, ruthless almost. And they had to go back and say like, I'm so sorry that I did that. And which is a huge growth moment too for a one to go back and apologize because that can be really challenging, especially if you believe that if you're blamed for anything that you're corrupt or deficient or, or bad. Um, so to go back and say, Hey, I made a mistake. That can be really challenging. But it's a huge growth point. But I also think that's something that I've heard from a lot of other people who are around ones is they're like, they're so critical. And I think that a lot of the time ones are so much more critical of themselves than they are of others that they don't realize that other people experience in that way. Um, especially because from the one's perspective, normally it's like, I'm trying to help. And they don't realize that, that maybe not everyone cares as much about things being excellent or accurate, which again, to some of us, that's like, why would you not care about that? That's like the most important thing. Um, and I think other types, you know, we can learn from each other, like you said, in, in see all the different colorful ways of experiencing the world. Um, but like ones are really focused on actually this is the way that we can bring the most ideal world to fruition. And I think other types are not so focused on that.
Heidi Alaniz Critz:Yeah, I agree.
Steph Barron Hall:Okay. So let's go into the heart center. We're starting with type two. Uh, the heart center is really focused, sometimes we call it like the image center or identity center. These types are really focused on those ideas. Um, and they kind of have a sadness. Sometimes it's not a shame. I like the idea of sadness cuz we can really realize, um, how much sadness there is beneath the surface, um, once we get more in touch with it. So, Heidi, tell us about type two s.
Heidi Alaniz Critz:Yeah, so twos are known for being friendly, supportive, relational. they're motivated by a need to be loved and wanted, and they believe that, uh, they're loved for being lovable and being helpful to others. for twos, a big focus is on being liked and approved. Approved of, um, so like, how can I make this happen? And, and they're also really great at gauging how to make others like them and how they can leave a great impression of who they are. Um, they can be strategic and selective in creating these relationships. Um, a really great example of this would be the song, uh, the Song Mastermind by Taylor Swift. she sings about like knowing how to make others love her and make it seem effortless and how, it seems like the stars were aligned, but really it was her doing. Um, and I think this is just a really helpful imagery for two s Um, when twos really seek those, relationships. So a two s motivation isn't just about being helpful. It's about securing select relationships, finding positive connections, and creating a positive environment where everyone is happy and taken care of. Um, two s are constantly avoiding rejection. I think this is really big for two s. Um, they may do everything they can to avoid that and will often make themselves indispensable so that, you know, you don't wanna reject them and, and kind of toss them aside. So, um, deep down twos often believe that if others don't love them back, they are unlovable. Um, I've heard it two say, you know, if they just had a chance to get to know who I am, they would really like me. Um, and often in these situations, uh, they work harder to gain that approval. Um, so even when twos cognitively know that it's not true, they will often fall into believing that their worth is attached to how lovable and helpful others find them. Twos can also easily sense what others need and are sensitive to how others are feeling and how they really seek those, uh, special relationships. So a two s motivation isn't just about being helpful. Um, it's about securing select relationships, finding positive connections, and creating a positive environment where everyone is happy and taken care of. Um, two s are constantly avoiding rejection. I think this is really big for two s. Um, they may do everything they can to avoid that and will often make themselves indispensable so that, you know, you don't wanna reject them and, and kind of toss them aside. So, um, deep down twos often believe that if others don't love them back, they are unlovable. Um, I've heard it two say, you know, if they just had a chance to get to know who I am, they would really like me. Um, and often in these situations, uh, they work harder to gain that approval. Um, so even when twos cognitively know that it's not true, they will often fall into believing that their worth is attached to how lovable and helpful others find them. Twos can also easily sense what others need and are sensitive to how others are feeling and how they can specifically meet others' needs. Um, although it can be tough for twos to speak about their own needs, um, again, possibly not wanting to seem too needy or risk rejection. Um, but they, they do have a strong desire to assist and advi and advise to make life better from, uh, their point of view. So, um, so when a significant person in their life dismisses or turns down their help or advice, that can be really hurtful to a two. often twos have a much harder time understanding their own experiences and feelings, um, and needs as mentioned earlier, um, they sometimes feel that they always have more to give. Um, and like any other type twos can be complex like. As we all are. They can be intellectual, humorous, creative, and strategic, but at their core, they still think about all of this through the lens of relationship and connection. and we can even give a few examples. Um, uh, Seth has talked about this before, um, with like Leslie Nove. Did you wanna like talk about that stuff?
Steph Barron Hall:Sure. I also wanted to mention I love the song Mastermind. I don't think Taylor such as a two, but I think that song, like that line that you pulled out, I was like, yes, that is so, you know, descriptive. Um, so good. Um, so yeah, I think that Leslie Nope. Is a social too. I also think that, so I saw Amy Puller on Seth Meyers talking about the Enneagram and Amy Puller said she's an eight. I know, right?
Heidi Alaniz Critz:What.
Steph Barron Hall:Uh, yeah. And Seth Meyers said he's a three. I think both of those things totally check out. Makes sense. Um, but I think that Leslie Lopez is what happens when a type eight plays a type two character, um, there's like a lot more like intensity behind it. Um, but anyway, so I think, so there's a, I don't remember what, what season this is in, but there's a scene where Leslie Op is talking to the character Anne Perkins and they're best friends. And Anne says, um, you never let me order white wine. And Leslie says, yeah, that's because it gives you a headache. And Anne says, yes, but it's my headache. And I've experienced this even in real life with twos where it's like, yeah, like I totally get that. You want me to order something different or experience something else, but like, I'm the one who's gonna be consuming this thing and like, I'm fine. Like I, uh, you know, even, even saying, you know, I'm okay. Like I don't need to have that, for example. Um, Since I stopped drinking alcohol, like people being like, oh, I'll get you this alcohol free, whatever. I'm like, I'm, I'm honestly cool with sparkling water. I like don't need anything extra. Um, and it's like, it's, that's the moment for me where it's like, it's my headache or like it's my choice, right? Um, and the two is wanting to be helpful, but not realizing that they're actually kind of overstepping that into maybe being a little bit controlling, maybe a little bit, um, manipulative or kind of pushing their own perspective on the other person about like, almost like I know best, like, this is actually what's gonna make you happy. You don't know what's gonna make you happy. I know it's gonna make you happy. Um, I think that dynamic is, is really clear in that example, but obviously we know it's coming from a good place. Um, but it ends up landing a little bit different than intended.
Heidi Alaniz Critz:yeah. Absolutely. Um, And just, uh, I'll just say one more example that I found really helpful. And so, like, spoiler alert, if, you know, for Parks and Rec, and this is like the last season, um,
Steph Barron Hall:we've, I mean, this show's been off the air for so long.
Heidi Alaniz Critz:true. You never know,
Steph Barron Hall:If people haven't watched it by now,
Heidi Alaniz Critz:True, true. Yeah.
Steph Barron Hall:it's their own fault.
Heidi Alaniz Critz:Yeah. So, um, just I, in Leslie and April's relationship, um, this, I think it's a really good example of how to, is just like to bring, um, the people that they're with, with them, whether or not it's something that they want or not. And so when April is trying to figure out what she wants to do, she doesn't wanna work in the government anymore. Or maybe she does, but she's trying to figure this out and she does not wanna tell Leslie. And when she does, um, of course there was some. You know, like, why didn't you tell me? But later she kind of gives her that freedom to kind of figure out what she wants. And when she does, she was like, okay, well I'll make sure, you know, I'll definitely like pick out your clothes and we'll do a mock interview and we'll do all this stuff. Um, so then she's still supportive while, you know, April is finally figuring out what she wants. But I think that was really again, a great representation of like a two and their close relationships.
Steph Barron Hall:Yeah. And I also think that that conveys growth for Leslie, right? Because the first season, Leslie would have done everything she possibly could to make sure that April wasn't gonna go do something else, that she was gonna stay in this role. And, um, later on Les is like, okay, well I'm gonna help you kind of launch into this new career. So I think I thought that was pretty cool.
Heidi Alaniz Critz:Yeah, definitely.
Steph Barron Hall:Great example. Okay, let's talk about type threes. Um, I think it's really hard to describe your own type in a balanced or like neutral way because, um, once you start seeing all the ways that the negatives of your type impact yourself and others around you, um, it can be challenging to be more neutral. And especially I think on your own type, you're like, I can see what you're doing. Like I know what you're doing. So anyway, um, but I can try to be neutral. So threes are known for being adaptable and achievement oriented, and they're really motivated by this need to be valuable and worthy. And I teach that a little bit differently, I think because I am a three and I see a little bit of a different shade of this. Um, and it's because deep down threes believe that they'll finally feel like they're enough, like they're doing enough or like they're successful enough when others believe that they are. And. It's really this image, like if others think that I'm enough, then I am. If others think that I'm not enough, then I'm not. So they might do this even when it's not what they actually want out of life. I think a lot of threes get to their thirties, forties, fifties and are like, I did this entire career because I was successful and I was good at it, but it's not what I wanted. And so it can be really hard to understand like, what do I actually want? Um, but from a young age, threes have learned that if they perform well at whatever they're doing, they'll be valuable. And so as a result, they end up chasing worth through productivity and success. And in this context, success is not limited to financial or career success. It's really whatever success means to that individual or their family of origin, remember because they're focused on the image of it, like identifying with the image of how others perceive them. So, and, and again, image is not like, um, I drive a nice car, I have a nice purse. It's about if they wanna be seen as somebody who's shrewd with money and like a sharp business person, they can do that. If they wanna be seen as someone who's like a free spirit, they can also do that. Um, it's not limited to, you know, these specific things that we see like in media or whatever. So threes are really focused on the perceptions of others. They can shift and adapt to any environment and that can be a good thing because it means that they can really relate with anyone they encounter, but they also have a harder time understanding their own identity. And sometimes it can cause a sense of distrust because there are other types, I'm thinking especially like fours, sixes, eights who see threes being, and you know, a lot of other types too, but. Who can see like, oh, you're shapeshifting. Oh, you're like showing me a different side of yourself. And they do not like that. And they're like, I therefore do not trust you. Like, I don't think that you're genuine. I don't think you're authentic and you're not trustworthy. And so that can cause a lot of riffs and relationship, even though um, they're doing that as a really natural way to kind of build rapport, connect with people, and help people to see them as worthy, right? Cuz that reinforces our own identity. So in all of this, threes wanna avoid failure, worthlessness and falling short of their full potential. Threes are often able to see the potential within themselves and within others. And it can kind of seem positive. Like when you're told from a young age you have so much potential, you have endless potential, it can actually feel stifling, it can feel like a lot of pressure because even if you reach the highest heights, you still could feel like you failed because. It wasn't as fulfilling as expected. Um, or because there's always more potential to meet. And so I think in some ways threes will reframe failure, um, so that they don't, so they can kind of shield against that sense of worthlessness, but they also tend to, only do things that they're actually already good at, right? Like they don't want to, um, try anything that they are not naturally skilled at. and so that might be a thing where, like they don't try a new job or they don't try a sport, or they don't try a creative hobby because it's like, well, I'm not good at that, so I'm just gonna do something else. Um, Not realizing that most things are learned. There are very few things that we can actually be naturally good at. Um, unfortunately, uh, but it just, for me anyway, it's taken a long time to figure that out and be like, oh, I actually, you know, I can be terrible at these things and it's fine. Um, so there, there's that, that sense. But also I think that threes really manage failure by doing, like, overdoing everything. Um, they don't wanna seem like they don't know enough or like they don't, they're not capable or competent enough. Um, and so they really overdo stuff. And so that can be a really common tendency for threes as well. so I do have some examples from my own life to share, but Heidi, do you have any examples of type three that you wanna bring up?
Heidi Alaniz Critz:it's so funny because I love threes. Like I'm surrounded by threes all the time. I work primarily with threes and, um, I have them in close family. Yeah, I, I love it. It's, it's so great. but what really stood out to me is, um, when you. Mentioned like threes really focus on perception of others. When I was doing a typing interview, um, a three once told me that she like, as like in very younger years, like in high school, she thought that she was just going to make a decision that just like would ruin her life. And just really figuring out like, what do I do and, and things like that. Like how much that really weighed on her was, um, something that really stood out to me. but yeah. Yeah. I'm curious to hear your examples.
Steph Barron Hall:Yeah. Okay. So I've, I think I've shared this before, but um, one of my first jobs, I ended up pretty quickly becoming a manager and I had like 12 to 15 depending on, you know, the season people on my staff. And we worked f with adults with developmental disabilities. And so it was a pretty intense job, but it was a lot of fun. Um, just a lot of different people to manage like 30 clients and then all the coaches that were on my team. Um, and I really had this sense like, if you're not falling over dead at the end of the day, you haven't worked hard yet. And it wasn't something I ever would've said. It was just like a scent beneath the surface. And I was like, oh, that's kind of messed up. Like that's kind of not very helpful, you know? Um, so I think that that was like a big eyeopener for me once I started getting into the Enneagram of realizing like I. How high my expectations were for how hard other people worked. And like, just being like, it's okay if they don't have capacity, and maybe me having more capacity is not always a good thing, right? That can be really, you know, one of those survival strategies that is not adaptive as an adult. And then I think another way I've seen it show up is like really wanting to empower people to do a good job. Like, I really want people who work with me to be able to do an awesome job and like, like be really successful and feel great about what they're doing. Um, but I don't always give enough context for like what exactly they need to do. Like, I'll give the bottom line and then I'm like, just figure it out, you know? And that I've learned that that's not really helpful and I don't, I don't get the best out of that person because I haven't helped them understand what to do next. Um, and so I think that that's another way that I've seen it. Kind of come up. Um, and I think in general, threes can be very impatient and very focused on like, give me the headline, don't give me the details. Like, so a lot of the time instructing somebody on how to do, so something can be like, oh, that's just a detail that's not important. Um, and in reality, somebody does something different than you expected and you're like, okay, I did not communicate my expectations, so no wonder they did it differently because I didn't say anything. And so I think that's really useful too, of being able to kind of think through and be a little bit more direct about what, I'm expecting and um, also what unique skills that other person can bring to the table. That if I give better parameters or better instruction, then they're gonna be more successful. So, um, yeah, those are my examples.
Heidi Alaniz Critz:I love that. Yeah.
Steph Barron Hall:Okay. Let's talk about type four.
Heidi Alaniz Critz:Yes. So type four. so this is my type. Um, so fours are known for being deep individualistic and complex. And again, fours are among, you know, the types, like people say, like sixes and fours, they all look different. but again, this is, I think there's a common, underlying like motivation and, and what we avoid still, I think that's still rings true. fours are motivated by the need to deeply know and express their truist and most authentic identity. fours are also motivated by the need to be understood and seen and validated. you know, really like being mirrored by others. Um, so being in a space or relationship that doesn't allow this can be really difficult. I was in a conversation once with another four and it was brought up that okay, it's okay if someone doesn't fully understand, like, especially if, you know, they seem interested in working towards that. But if someone is actively working against understanding or refusing to listen, or especially like insisting that they know you better than you do, that can be really painful and really trapping. So yeah, fours like will do everything to avoid that at all costs. Um, however that may look. So. to a four. It can feel like ultimately we are unknowable, um, that perhaps like no one will ever know to the full extent who we are, how we operate. so instead, uh, I think a big focus is on how to show up and be exceptional and significant and unique. Um, possibly more than any other type fours are on a lifelong quest. I like that you've used that word, Steph Quest, um, for self-knowledge and understanding. That can be a big driver. Um, fours are incredibly imaginative. Um, they can indulge in like fantasy land. Um, so yeah, there aren't, like, fours aren't really intimidated to dive into the depths, you know, of the psyche and emotional realm. Um, So often fours have an ideal vision of a world like their world that could exist, but it doesn't really fit reality, like the grass is always greener on the other side. so, so this is like really important that like fours long for that idealistic situation and then mourn that their world fail, like falls short of that extravagance and richness that could be possible or that is possible. Um, forests live on the inside of their heads. So I always say like, we think with our hearts, um, and we're always thinking and feeling through possibilities and daydreams fantasies and what's missing or lacking? I think fours. Focus a lot on meaning and integration of all things, like how does it all fit together and where and how do I fit into all of this and how do I maintain this alignment? So I think purpose is a big driver as well. Um, I think another big thing, um, that you hear kind of commonly is like fours are uniquely focused on being authentic, um, and they avoid feeling inauthentic or insignificant. Um, so like even in instances of shape shifting, it can feel really uncomfortable afterwards. And that is something that, you know, I think we do notice. but so much time and energy is spent considering like how we think and feel about things and and we work to bring the, like, aspects of our life that feel inauthentic into alignment. I'm curious if you have anything to add from your perspective, Steph, or if you have any examples of four.
Steph Barron Hall:Yeah. Um, I think that's, that's really useful. And I also like that, um, you added a few of your, your other like, insights from your own life, um, that's really useful. Um, so I think one example I have is a four that I know well actually, like, now that I think of it, it's like anytime this board goes to someone's place that they like better, like someone's house, their property or whatever, um, the afterward the experience is what's wrong with me. That I don't have that. And it's not like I, it's not just I want that, it's not just, oh, cool, they have that. Like, I love that for them. It's not just. I want to go out and get that. It's like, what is wrong with me? Like as a person that I don't have that sometimes fours are called, uh, a frustration type. Um, and so there is a lot of that tension and frustration be beneath the surface. And um, I think that's something that other people don't always understand about force of, like, they're just like, oh, they're just emotional. And it's like, yes, but there's so much more to it. Um, and it's like that sense of, um, ineptitude or like there's some flaw. And I, in some ways I wonder if, if being so introspective is a way for forests to see like, okay, I haven't found the flaw quite yet, but I'm gonna, it's in there. I know it's there, you know? Um, yeah. And I think that it's interesting cuz we often think of forests as like, oh, they must be really self-aware because. They're so introspective and I've actually found that it's not always the case that forest are the most self-aware, um, because self-awareness also has to do with how you impact others. And I don't know that Forest who haven't done any work are always really good at that. Um, but yeah, those are some examples, some additional things to add.
Heidi Alaniz Critz:Yeah, no, I absolutely agree with that. it's so helpful to figure out how you affect others because it can be really hurtful on the other end. Um, and I've seen that with my experience, so, so yeah, I really, um, like that you mentioned that.
Steph Barron Hall:Ooh, I have so much compassion for force. Uh, okay. Let's talk about type fives. Um, So fives are known for being observant and cerebral, and they're really motivated by this need to be competent and self-sufficient. And it's not just like I need to know things so that people know I know things. It's like they wanna be able to take care of themselves. And so they build up all this competence and capability to be able to do that. And so fives often have a distinct sense that they need to hold on to what they already have. So space, energy, emotional energy, time, money, sometimes to, um, because they wanna be self-sufficient. And that's frequently achieved by being competent and capable. But, and, and that really allows them to. Keep all the resources they have without needing to give anything up. Because if they rely on somebody else, then there might be an expectation that they give back to that person. Or it might almost be an invitation for that person to intrude upon them. And so they, they really like to keep that boundary. I've also seen a lot of fives who decrease what they need from the world. Decrease, not in themselves, decrease as opposed to like what others want or need. So you might walk into a fives place and they might be like, oh, I don't have any, anything on my walls. It's like, I don't need that, you know? Um, it's just not a thing that they wanna spend their time or their precious energy on. Um, whereas other people might think like, how could you live in a place with, with nothing on the walls, you know? Um, so often. They have this deep fear that if they need resources from others, they'll end up being depleted. And so they're very averse to that and they tend to withdraw. So that reaction feels innately important for survival, even when the five cognitively knows that the people around them are not trying to overwhelm them or inundate inundate them. It really just feels important. And something I learned from a five recently is like even sharing their thoughts or ideas can be challenging because, um, It's almost like they think of, they're so, it's so compartmentalized that they think of all these different thoughts that they have as like pieces of a pie. And if they share something with somebody else, like when I'm sharing an idea, I'm like, it's still my idea. I'm just telling you about it out loud. But for a five, it's like, I am giving you this piece of a pie and now I no longer have it. So it's kind of like giving away a little bit of themselves every time they share something. And I think that's why they kind of hold onto that a lot. Um, when we talk about subtypes, I mean, especially the social vibes, um, are more likely to share a lot of their ideas, um, especially if they're in the teaching role or something like that. Um, but self-preservation fives tend to be like, eh, I'll only share what's absolutely necessary. Um, but that just feels like a really important part of. Making it through life. Um, so they often have this fear or concern beneath the surface, and at times they'll use, and this can be very subconscious, that they use this endless pursuit of knowledge as a shield against feeling afraid or feeling anxious. Um, they might be like, okay, if I can think about this for forever, I won't feel anxious about it anymore because I'm thinking about it. And subconsciously they believe that if they know enough, they will be able to reason themselves out of anything in their mind. So anything that's scary, they can just like, reason themselves out of. And I was once talking with somebody online and saying like, whose mind is scariest? Like, which any grim types mind is scariest. And I think it's really type five because fives think so much about things on like a theoretical level of like, or even an existential level that they're, they can basically. Think themselves out of existence. Like everything is just particles. Um, and it's almost like this way of seeing things so differently, like deconstructing all the little pieces of everything. Um, and so I think that's, I personally from the outside think it's really cool. I can imagine how being inside that type of mind might be, uh, challenging at times. But, um, I think it's also helpful to note that they tend to begin each day with a measured amount of energy and they can conserve their limited resources in order to avoid feeling depleted. Um, and so that's, all of this stuff is like guarding them against, um, that, that sense of, of depletion or emptiness. So I saw you laughing a lot while I was talking. Do you have any examples you wanna share?
Heidi Alaniz Critz:Yeah, I have a few. I mean, I, I feel like, again, like you said, we can only touch so much on each type. Um, but man, I, I love how complex fives are. Um, and it just made me laugh because we have a very close, uh, close friendships with another, I think this, this one is a self, self press five. Um, but uh, you mentioned like having kind of just like a bare, like house and just kind of minimizing their needs. Um, when my friend. first started dating our, like our other friend who's a five. Um, all he had was just like lawn chairs, like in his, in his, uh, living room. And we laugh about it all the time. So it's just so funny. that, yeah, you kind of mentioned that. So, I'm trying to think of, of any other examples. I'll also just say like, I really like again, um, how fives are deep and like you said, like, um, the mind of a five is probably so complex and, and I, and I really admire that. They appreciate depth and, and kind of breaking things down and, and asking why, asking questions. Um, I find like that's really helpful for other, like, other types too as well. Like I, I kind of need that balance as well. So, um, yeah. What about you?
Steph Barron Hall:Yeah. I have a couple examples. Um, I used to carpool every day, not every day, every, like a few times a week with a five. Um, and it was so interesting because we were both closer friends with each other's spouse. So like I was closer with his wife and he was closer friends with my husband. And so in our conversations, like he's just very boundaried. Like we didn't really talk about our spouses, but also he just wouldn't say anything at all about his spouse or his kid while we were in the car. Like we had an entire relationship that was separate from any of that. Um, and so it was very compartmentalized, but I also think fives hate gossip.
Heidi Alaniz Critz:Mm-hmm.
Steph Barron Hall:They just not interested. And so they're like, I'm not even gonna go there. Like, I'm not even gonna feel like I'm gossiping at all. And so they can be really compartmentalized in that way. Um, but also this five, we were both in grad school at the same time, and so we, but not in the same program. Um, but we talked about a lot of our different ideas that we were kind of thinking about and, um, some different things. And he would, would puzzle through his ideas or his papers just as he is going about his day or, or whatever. And then he would basically have it written in his mind and then would just sit down in front of the computer and like write it, like put it on paper. And I was like, I don't understand how your brain works. Like, like, I think that's so cool. But I was like, man, I, I don't do it that way. I like go, you know, line by line almost, or like have my outline there and, and try to write it differently. But he just had this ability to be able to kind of recall everything and then just rehearse it and then put it out there. And I think that comes across in the way that fives communicate too, cuz they tend to communicate in paragraph form like beginning, middle, end. Um, so yeah. I just thought that was so fascinating. I also should have mentioned that fives are the first type in the head triad. So the head types, um, who really have fear beneath the surface. And, um, all three of these types, five, six, and seven, are focused on like strategy and like a lot of them are focused on like theoretical models, stuff like that. so yeah, that's type five. How about type six?
Heidi Alaniz Critz:So, sixes are known for being responsible and community oriented. Um, they are motivated by. A need to experience security and certainty in the world. Um, so as a result, sixes spend their mental energy managing uncertainty. They ask questions, plan for potential problems, and, um, intuit what might happen. So they're always prepared a troubleshoot. Um, sometimes this is focused on physical safety, but it's more often about financial security, like overall wellbeing, relational stability, that's a big one. Um, trust and other aspects of their sense of safety. Sixes are vigilant and easily recognize what issues may arise. So a way for sixes to feel safe is to solve and plan for potential problems. Um, looking out for what might happen can propel sixes into doubting and questioning things. Um, and depending on the six, they might doubt or question themselves, um, sixes tend to get the reputation for being like the most anxious since they tend to voice their concerns. And, um, sometimes it can seem like pessimism, but to them, like they view it as realism. Um, a six one said, um, you know, if I, if I didn't speak up, I would forever regret if something did happen. So, um, I think in a six, in a six's mind it's better safe than sorry. Um, sixes are often suspicious. They're slow to trust and, um, even though they sometimes want a strong authority figure to follow, um, they often push back against authority. Just, you know, to check for trustworthiness. Um, once. You know, six is form relationships. They are deeply committed and loyal, and in my experience, like six is like to check in and gain reassurance from those trusted relationships, like really leaning on that security aspect. Um, a worst case scenario for a six would be being stranded without support or safety. And they especially hate being caught off guard. Um, so they do everything to avoid this. So some sixes manage the stress by building strong relationships, or again, checking in as I mentioned before, um, and finding connection and, and planning what they might do if something goes awry. Um, so other sixes, like the counter type of six, like avoid being without support or security by showing strength. So it's almost as if they won't be stranded if they, if they don't see, or if they don't show that they need people. Um, or by moving a assertively to control the situation. Um, so it's like these sixes scare fear away by being bold and daring. so yeah, while, while sixes can look very different from each other, um, I think they all share kind of like the underlying core motivations.
Steph Barron Hall:Yeah. Yeah, I think that that certainty and reassurance is such a huge piece. Okay. so I have a few examples. Um, so I was doing a, a corporate, um, training and somebody mentioned that she was a six and she calms herself at night by thinking through possible scenarios. Um, actually this, I've heard this from multiple sixes, uh, so like calming themselves by thinking through multiple scenarios and then noting different parts of the decision where. Like the decision tree where new information will come in. So it's almost like mentally imagining, okay, these are the decisions that I already know, information to predict what I'm gonna do at each of these junctures. And then when they get new information, then it's like, okay, that will be like a point of like, I can predict that this is where I'll need to, to change course or, or whatever. So I thought that was so interesting, just to be able to be like, okay, let me think through this. so that was fascinating. I also realized that I kind of do this some, and I think that's because this is one of the arrows for type three, um, where literally like this happened recently where, um, I was going to the airport for a flight and I was checking a bag, but I was running late and I was like, I don't know. I mean, it wasn't that late, but I still was like, you know, running a little bit late. So was like, hopefully my bag gets on the plane if it doesn't like, If it's too late to check it, this is what I'm gonna do. And I like made a plan and of course my husband's kind of like, you don't need to think about that. But I'm like, I just need to, I just need to make sure that I'm gonna know what I'm gonna do.
Heidi Alaniz Critz:Yeah, sure.
Steph Barron Hall:gonna be fun. Um, yeah. So I think that comes into play. Um, and then I also had a boss who was a six. Um, and she was great. She was really, really good at developing processes and procedures. So like if somebody literally died midway through our emergency protocol, um, like whoever was in charge, like just disappeared basically. Somebody else would be able to slot in and follow the procedure. Exactly. Um, like there were so many, um, safety nets basically. Just to make sure that everything would run smoothly, um, in case of an emergency. And we had a lot of emergencies in that job. So, uh, it was a really great thing and I, I don't think at the time I really valued, I was like, oh, why do I have to do the procedure? You know?
Heidi Alaniz Critz:sure,
Steph Barron Hall:I think it was really helpful. What about you? Any examples?
Heidi Alaniz Critz:Yeah. I think, um, Just really that relationship perspective. Um, I've noticed six is really, again, like valuing transparency and, and just wanting like, the real talk. Okay. Like, you know, like they're kind of always the ones to, check in and, and find that reassurance. Making sure that, you know, every, is everyone good? Like, we're all good? And, and I've even seen kind of sixes be a mediator in that way. Um, for that their community and that group. and just people that they value. Um, would you say that's accurate?
Steph Barron Hall:Yeah. Mm-hmm. I think that makes sense. I also think that there are a lot of differences on subtypes, but I feel like sixes love creating stability, um, in general.
Heidi Alaniz Critz:Yeah. Absolutely.
Steph Barron Hall:Okay, are we ready for type seven?
Heidi Alaniz Critz:Yes. One more type to go.
Steph Barron Hall:Last but not least. Um, so sevens are known for being quick minded and versatile. They are motivated by this need to be free to explore possibilities without limitation. And so sevens really experience the world as expansive and beautiful and full of possibilities. So they stay busy and they tend to seek fun wherever they go. And you know, I think it's really helpful to know that for sevens, it's not just about fun, it's really about mental stimulation. So their minds are constantly going. Um, and this is something that I've been learning about all head types is like every moment there are like a million different thoughts that come into their minds. Um, Like they just cycle through so much quicker and, and, and they have to sometimes like, choose which train am I gonna follow, basically. Um, and so sevens tend to have a million ideas per second it seems, and they tend to be really positive and enthusiastic about that. Um, sometimes they can be a bit too positive, uh, until they start actually doing their work. They can be a bit too optimistic and like see life through rose colored glasses basically. Um, but beneath the surface, sevens are actually experiencing anxiety, um, around getting stuck, especially because they fear being unable to escape the emotional experiences that might come up. So it's not necessarily that they can't feel their feelings, it's just that they don't wanna get stuck in those feelings and so they avoid being trapped in pain or boredom. And boredom can actually feel physically painful for a lot of sevens. Because of all of these things, they can tend to have this reputation for being flighty or whimsical. And many sevens will just let you believe that's the case. Like, they're not as concerned about the image of like, let me debunk that you're thinking about me wrong. Um, however, they are just quick on their feet, and so their minds, like we've talked about, are moving faster than the world around us. And so as a result, they come up with ideas that other people haven't conceptualized yet, and they just spring into action with so much agility that you just think that they're being impulsive. And of course, sometimes they are being impulsive, but a lot of the time they also have like all of these thoughts and plans. Um, and so there's just more to them than, than meets the eye. Um, but you have to kind of be quick and, and be able to connect with them to, to really see beneath the surface. I think it's also useful to note that because sevens are head types a lot of the time they like thinking about. Like models or understanding, you know, what the structure is of what's beneath the surface. It's not like they, like sevens don't always like structure, um, in their day-to-day life, but I think they have this way of thinking about things, that they think about things more theoretically and they're like, what's the model? You know, what's the structure? Sometimes they wanna understand it so that they can kinda break it down, but they also really like problem solving. So they're always like going through a puzzle, like, how can I see this differently? Or how can I think about this differently? How can I solve this? How can I make this, um, turn out better? Um, and so they kind of alwa always reframe too. They re tend to reframe negatives into positives. Do you have any examples of seven? Do you wanna share?
Heidi Alaniz Critz:yeah. So just, uh, to kind of add on like reframing, uh, negatives into positives. Um, I was in this conversation once with a seven and um, We were just, Talking about like, I don't know, like our overall like view of life or, I don't even know, but I remember them saying like, yeah, I've never had a bad day in my entire life. Like I've never had a bad day. And I was like, at the time I was like, wow, like that. What a great way to look at life. But I'm like, surely like, you know, I think it's just again, the reframing part. but yeah, that's, that's kind of the example that stood out to me. But what about you?
Steph Barron Hall:That's so funny. That sounds like a, a very great life.
Heidi Alaniz Critz:Right.
Steph Barron Hall:Um, Yeah, I have a seven friend who is a stunt, stunt car driver, and she said she like posted this thing on Instagram. Um, and basically that when she's driving, like she's driving at like top speeds, like doing like, basically like stunts with, you know, in a car. Um, that's the only time her mind is clear and calm.
Heidi Alaniz Critz:Wow. That's
Steph Barron Hall:And I was like, that makes sense because I think that's really hard for all head types is to calm their minds. Um, and then another seven friend who's also an Enneagram professional said this thing that I thought was helpful, which is that, you know, a lot of the time we talk about how sevens are avoiding pain and suffering, which is true, but it's just not accessible to a lot of sevens. Like sevens don't always see that they're avoiding that because, It's so hidden, like it's so in the shadow. Um, and so I think that that's useful because, you know, it's just like a different perspective. Like I think other types are a lot more focused on pain and suffering, and sevens tend to really hide that from themselves. Um, also some sevens really focus on making the best life, like kind of for themselves. Um, and like being really strategic about that and really focus on that. And then other sevens, like social sevens for example, are focused on alleviating pain and suffering for others and actually tend to put themselves last in a lot of ways. And um, so that can be a big point of growth for sevens is to recognize ways when, um, ways that they're doing that. I think that's really useful. but that's, Another thing with subtypes. So if you wanna learn more about all of these little subtypes where we've said some sixes do this, another sixes do this or et cetera, um, definitely feel free to grab that subtypes guide because it goes into this in more detail. And after hearing this, if you're still confused about your type, um, in the subtyping guide I mentioned, I also have checklists for each of the types. So you can go through each of the nine types and um, check off the statements that resonate the most with you and see um, which type you lean toward and what other types show up for you a lot. so that might just be a really helpful resource. Anything else you wanna add? Tidy?
Heidi Alaniz Critz:Now I thought that was a great intro, and like you said, I, I'm sure we can go on and on about all these other types and nuances and things like that, but yeah, hopefully this is, this was helpful.
Steph Barron Hall:Yeah. Well, thanks so much for joining us and I hope you. Enjoy this episode, and if you're new to the Enneagram, I hope it piqued your interest so you can learn more and we'll see you back next time.
Thanks so much for listening to Enneagram IRL. If you love the show, be sure to subscribe and leave us a rating and review. This is the easiest way to make sure new people find the show. And it's so helpful for a new podcast like this one, if you want to stay connected. Sign up for my email list in the show notes or message me on instagram at nine types co to tell me your one big takeaway from today's show I'd love to hear from you. I know there are a million podcasts you could have been listening to, and I feel so grateful that you chose to spend this time with me. Can't wait to meet you right back here for another episode of any grim IRL very soon. The Enneagram and real life podcast is a production of nine types co LLC. It's created and produced by Stephanie Barron hall. With editing support from Brandon Hall. And additional support from crits collaborations. Thanks to dr dream chip for our amazing theme song and you can also check out all of their music on spotify