LIVE DISCUSSION: (Job 16:1-5) "You're Miserable Comforters" Part 3/4

Suffering tests our theology, but it also tests our love. We dive into Job with fresh eyes and discover how God’s sovereignty becomes more than a doctrine when pain gets personal. What surprised us most wasn’t a hidden verse or a clever argument—it was how much comfort depends on love, restraint, and the courage to see the person behind the problem.

We start by naming a hard truth: inherited scripts can make us sound wise while keeping us far from a wounded friend. Job’s companions knew the right phrases, but they never asked the right questions. Together we unpack the trap of assumptions, the difference between observing a situation and discerning a soul, and why the most spiritual move might be a simple, sincere “How are you holding up?” From there, we walk through Job 16 and the sting of empty counsel. Job calls out shallow speech and models the alternative: words that strengthen, calm, and steady a burdened heart.

Along the way we connect Paul’s “clanging cymbal” warning to the scene at Job’s ash heap. Insight without love turns into noise. We get practical: how to build bonds before crisis, the small questions that matter in the middle of it, and why restraint is a holy habit that keeps us from fixing what we should first be holding. Truth doesn’t vanish in the process; it learns to arrive at the right time, in the right tone, for the good of the person in front of us.

We close with a story about a quiet act of kindness that preached louder than any sermon. That’s the heartbeat of this conversation: turn doctrine into care, and let your words become a shelter. If this resonates, share it with a friend who could use thoughtful comfort today, and subscribe to hear more conversations that aim for the heart.

Transcript

A Fresh Look At Job;

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Those who are quote unquote close to you.

Sovereignty, Affliction, And Insight;

SPEAKER_03 0:02

That's right. Sister, listen, I'll tell you something. And like Lisa said, this this is what you said, which Lisa was saying, this is a very practical matter. This is a very, this is a very, and then listen, I love to deal with a lot of the heavy things in the scriptures, you know, the solid doctrines. But I gotta tell you, there's something there was something particular about going through this book that I know God put on me to do. And when you take an undertaking like this and you're forcing yourself to sit under the tutelage of the Spirit of God and sort of come, you know, you know, put these things together and study these things and put down your notes and draw your outlines and do all these things. If you're faithful, it's gonna be a lot of work. Okay? And it is, but man, I have learned more from this book of Job this time than I have in I don't know how many 50, 60 times, 70 times that I've read this book. It's been this time for some reason. And I think it's because um, I think it's I think it's because I'm I really feel, and I believe 100% in my heart, and I hope it comes across that I know there is a special endowment that the Lord gives me in my study time because He knows I'm talking to His people, my brothers and sisters in Christ. And so He gave me some things, He gave me a way of seeing things that I had never seen before. I never saw the sovereignty of God as much as I have in this book until I studied it this time for all of you and for us to gather around. I never saw such an elevated application of truth. I never understood how to settle under affliction to the degree that I have this time. If I take my the sum total of what I've understood in the book of Job, all the time that I've read it my entire life as a Christian from 18, I have never gotten more out of it than I've gotten now going through this study with all of you. It's just something about it. And and and so, and that's why, you know, there's there's sometimes I keep feeling like, oh, these they're gonna get restless. It's a long book, it's a big book, they're gonna get restless. And then, you know, and and and I and you know, and I just felt like, no, stick to it. Just stick to it. And then when we get done, we'll deal with some other things, but for whatever reason, this is a blessing to us all, is what I'm trying to say to everybody. And try to get as much out of this as you really can because it's such a heavy, heavy book. Sister Candy, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 3:06

It just gets me thinking, like, how do how does one learn to comfort someone? So what what do they know and how to comfort Job in this situation if they only learnt from what they've read or been told from what they say the the fathers of the past, so to say, or fathers of old. So they're only they're only doing what they what they've learned. So it's those traditions that we'll go back to say, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_04 3:35

Right.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

And it's like like like leasing them, like when you've got people, for example, we know they know who Job is and his status, so to say, or his reputation. So now that now that he's suffering, it's like what Sister Sean said, they they come to see how low he is, you know what I'm saying? To to ridicule him because ha ha ha, you you thought you were of this status and stature, but now look at you like you're not so big and all high mighty, like we've said before. You know what I'm saying? When people think, oh, they're just bit better than us or whatever. But it's kicking someone's feet up from under them when they're trying to get up. You know, don't don't pull the football from Charlie Brown when he's trying to kick it, you know what I'm saying?

Judging By Appearances;

SPEAKER_03 4:24

Yeah. You know, these these guys, they they they continue their replies one after another, but but but they're they're not their their replies are not being driven by insight. They're not that they're not looking into Job's condition. They're not they're not trying to figure out what is going on with Job. What's going on with you, Job? How is your I I know I see what's going on. You know, I see what's going on, and I know your heart is probably broken. How can we help you get on the mend? How can we do that? This is not happening here. There's no insight into Job's condition. All they're looking at is what they see. His condition is being. But we all know the real condition is what goes on within the heart of a soul. We need to look at what Christ looks at, not at what man looks at. We need to look at what what Christ looks at. What does he look at? He looks after the inward man. That's what he looks at. Their unwillingness to reconsider their assumptions is their problem. They have one thing gating them from being able to get insight into Job's condition. They need to remove their false assumptions. They need to consider that there might be something else that is at play here rather than him just being punished for being a vain, wealthy man. Brother Pat, and then Marion.

Love As The Missing Engine;

SPEAKER_02 5:56

I don't know if I'm the only person that sort of put this together, but when Paul talks about um, you can have all these different attributes. You can have all the wisdom of the world, but if you're missing love, you're like a clinging symbol. It's like love is like the engine that makes it all work. And the other gifts, they're always going to uh lead to bad results. You can't get good results when you don't have the love part. And it makes me wonder if that's really I'm trying to think. If there was love in his friend's heart, would their approach have been different? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:32

I think so.

SPEAKER_02 6:33

Would the way they investigated the situation be different if they were rooted in love? Right. Probably. They had a lot of stuff. They're they're not dumb guys, and they're educated guys, and they have things in place that make them capable men, but there's something missing that makes the engine go.

Practicing Spiritual Care;

Knowing People Before Crisis;

Job 16: Compassionate Speech;

Restraint And The Power Of Words;

SPEAKER_03 6:53

No, yeah. It really comes down to like you said, brother, it's just they they don't, they're not exercising love. It's it's it's if they did, they would be concerned about how something affects how these things are affecting him. You know, you you you expect questions like, okay, you know, you know, like you may say, like, if if if one of you called me up one day and said, hey, brother, I got something that's going on, whatever. You know, what what is right is that we should be looking at, okay, I know whatever it is is bad, and I know this question that I'm about to ask may sound silly, but what how do you feel? Where is your spiritual stink uh strength level? Like Lisa says, how are you holding up? Let's let's let's let's deal with let's deal with bandaging, bandaging up your you know, you up spiritually so that you can so that you can walk, so that you can talk, so that you can be, you know, remain faithful, so that you can still hold on to your confidence, so that you can still cling to the Lord the way you always have, just to strengthen you in that way. And so, and there's any number of things that you can say, and I'm just throwing things out there. But what I'm saying is the the we need to to operate from the standpoint of spiritual insight, meaning you want to look at a person and try to pierce the soul. Don't look at the outside. If a person is going through a time of poverty or a time of of uh ill health, a time of dealing with troubled people in their lives, a troublesome boss, whatever it may be, we never know what people are going through. We never know what people are going through. And sometimes this shouldn't wait. What it seems like these guys didn't know Job at all. And and you get it, you get the indication that that's probably the case, that they didn't really know him at all, because they you would think that when they got there, they would already have been able to make certain assessments that were true about Job. But the reason why I say that is because here's a challenge for all of you. You know, sometimes you can avoid the kind of problems that these men are having toward Joe if we take our interest in people that we love, um we try to get stay a little involved with them before they get into this situation. In other words, like one of the things that I try to make a habit of, and sometimes I don't like doing it, even though I have to do it, because it's like just calling somebody up. How are you doing? How's everything going with you? And you check in. Are you all right? Is everything good? Do I need to come see you? You need to come see me. You know, there are ways to sort of you know, to because when that happens, then I think that you you establish this tie, this bond that will make it easier for that person to open up to you when they actually have a real problem. When they actually have a real problem. And so, and so to me, it's a tactic, and there are many things that that that we can all do to sort of like prepare ourselves to deal with the problems that people that we love or care about may be having in advance, taking care of them in advance just by calling in and saying, hey, what's going on? Having a five-minute goof off conversation, you know, with somebody. And um, you know, I don't know. But I think that that the big thing here is that they just didn't care about his soul, what was going on on the inside. They just they had nothing for him. In verse 4, in verse 4, Joe says to his friends, I could also speak as you do. If your soul were in my soul stead, in other words, if you were in my place, I could heap up words against you, and I could shake my head at you too. This is what he's saying. He's really saying, like, I can do exactly what you're doing if the tables were turned. How would you like it? I can speak just the way you speak. If you were in my place, I can heap up words against you, and I can shake my head and I can wag the finger at you. This is what he says. Job exposes the ease with which men speak harshly to each other. And they often do this and they find it easy to do when they are not undergoing any kind of an affliction. It's easy to judge someone else when you are not being afflicted. It's very easy. It's even comfortable for people. Job was the one. Job was the one that needed to be comforted. But these men came here to be comforted by seeing Job's misery. They were the ones that ended up being comforted, and not in a good way, but by looking down on Job. And so, right here, Job affirms that nothing in their speeches requires any special understanding or spiritual death. He's basically telling them what you're saying is not deep. I know you think you're being deep, but you're not. You're not. And he's saying that anyone with any minimum amount of boldness can speak the way you speak. What he's saying is this any idiot can speak like that. He's saying any idiot can speak like that. You're not saying anything heavy. You're not being philosophical, you're not speaking in abstract terms. You're not speaking wisely. You think you're being esoteric. You're not. You're being shallow. Your speech is impotent, it is not convincing, is weak. You're not even trying. You're not helping. Like Sister Vanessa says. You're not helping me. But then he says, but if the role if the roles were reversed, he says, I can multiply words against you just the way you've done to me. And Job is not confessing something that he intends to do. That's not what he's talking about. But he's just showing them how shallow what they're saying really is, how useless it really is. This is what he's this is what he's saying. He's telling them that you speak a lot. You offer up all these platitudes and gestures and and and and maxims. You throw all these things out there with great abundance. And what Job is is is showing them is that their approach depends more on posturing. More on repeating the same thing over and over and over again. You sin, you sin, you're being punished. You sin, you're being punished, you're being afflicted because you did wrong. Over and over again. And so this is what should make us understand the vibe of this book. Because we have been repeating the same things over again. But you have to understand this is what is frustrating Job. So when you look at it this way, the narrative makes sense because it's making us feel the same degree of repetition that Job is feeling. The same thing. And they do this because they lack empathy, they lack uh sympathy and they lack insight. They're not smart, but they think they are. But they think they are. Oh my gosh, there's so many Christians like this. So many of us like this. They reveal, I mean, Sister Mariah, go ahead.

Love Made Practical

SPEAKER_01 16:10

So I just wanted to recall back to when Elith Elifaz Eliphaz, excuse me, in uh chapter four, and to what Job is speaking about himself, saying if he was in their position, he he could have done X, Y, and Z. But Eliphaz says this about Job. He says, Surely you have inflicted many, and you have strengthened the weak the weak hands. Your words have upheld him who was stumbling, and you have strengthened the feeble needs. But now it comes upon you and you are worried. So he testifies like Job in the misery or in the afflictions of other people. He does the very opposite of what they're doing to him. I think that it is fascinating that he holds past his integrity and say, like, I could do this to you guys, but when it happens to you guys, that's not what I do. I actually do the opposite, and he has shown love, and and even his miserable comforters can't attest to his doing that.

SPEAKER_03 17:19

That's a wonderful assessment, sister. It really is. And I'm gonna tell you one reason why. First, number one, it's Eliphaz again. He's the one, he's the one that was talking right before Job this time, and he said that before in chapter four. And so you're right about that. So that's number one. And number two, they acknowledged, Eliphaz acknowledged that Job had done all those things. Those were all good things. That he that how Job strengthened feeble hands. Why are not his own words condemning him? Why is he not doing that to Job? And see, that's that so that's the beauty of what you just brought up, because the very thing that he is reminding Job that he used to do before this downfall is the very thing that these guys should be doing to Job. And so it's an amazing thing. It's an amazing thing that uh to put it that way. And um I'm glad you brought that up. I'm glad you brought that up. And so what, you know, so what we got here, and and just you know, before we go on to the last verse, is that when it comes to Job's afflictions, they seem to they seem to stay at arm's length from Job. They seem to stay arm's length. They don't get near that issue. They don't want to, they're not trying to get into the intricacies of Job's suffering. They want to keep that off at a distance. And they don't want to, so they don't want to understand what he's going through. And they don't seem to just have a, they don't seem to care one bit. And I I really do get the idea that they feel that, like I said earlier, they came there to be, they came there to be comforted by Job's failure. And that's the way I sort of see it when I read this this book. All right, so our last verse, um, verse five. Job 16, verse 5. Job says to them, I, but I would strengthen you with my mouth. Contrary to what you're doing to me, I would strengthen you. And the moving of my lips would assuage your grief. I would use my mouth to soften the blows. I would bring comfort to you. I would calm the storm that you're going through. I would do whatever I can to ease your struggle. I would use words to bring solace into your heart. Job is contrasting their conduct with what he believes true comfort should be. Job is not the kind of guy that will say something and won't back it up. He is saying what should, he he is saying what they're not doing. He it's not enough for him to say what they're not doing. He is telling them what they should do. It's amazing that he himself, even under the weight of this tremendous burden of affliction, he is still teaching. Mariah quoted out of uh Job 4 about Eliphaz acknowledging how Job made other people's arms stronger and made them better people, basically. Job is saying, This is what I would, this is what I would have done to you. Job is in the place of still as a place of strengthening people. These guys don't even know it yet, but he is strengthening them. When you look at the whole scheme here, dealing with Job's friends, who really are the ones that are sick versus the ones, the one who is bringing true comfort. Job is. Job is educating, job is teaching, job is is exhibiting um uh strength. These other guys, they are sick. They are the ones who are bankrupt and don't know it. And don't know it. And when the Lord gets through dealing with Job, he's going to tell those guys, you better go check in with Job so that he can come between you and me. As if to say, you don't want to come face me. Go deal with Job first, and I will hear him on your behalf. Job says, I would strengthen you with my mouth, and the moving of my lips would assuage your grief. So Job here is insisting that his speech, if he were in their position, would aim at strengthening rather than tearing them down. Tearing them down. Job says that my words would seek to support a burdened soul, not increase the weight of the burden. He's an incredible man. Comfort. Comfort. The way Job understands it, it doesn't require the denial of affliction or abandonment of truth. But it does require tenderness and restraint. The hardest thing for a Christian to do, and probably one of the singular great gifts, right along with humility, is restraint. Restraint. It is truly a lofty virtue to master. Restraint. Restraint keeps you from retaliating. Restraint keeps you from defending yourself. Restraint makes you wait on the Lord. Restraint allows you to trust Him to deal with those who oppose you and who speak evil about you and who treat you poorly. Restraint is a tremendous gift. Tremendous gift. And so few people master it. So few people master it. So speech should serve the afflicted by steadying the heart and calming distress. This is what we should do. We should use our speech. Remember, the word of God tells us that the tongue is the hardest part of man's anatomy to tame. His tongue. Job here is talking about how to make use of speech. How to make use of your speech. He defines the proper end of counsel in times of suffering, not the vindication of principles. But we should seek first the relief of the sufferer's spirit. That's what we should be doing with our speech, trying to alleviate pain, to bring relief, to connect with the suffering soul, and to do whatever we can with our speech to alleviate. Our speech can do more than what people really understand. It can be better than the check that we write. Sister Meg, go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 26:29

You know, it it also brings to light the verse in scripture where it says, if I if I speak with all the angelic voices or whatever, and don't have love, I'm nothing but the beating of a rusty gate. And it's just like when you think about them, it's like when love is absent, this is what is the result is Job's friends. And it doesn't matter how much truth there is in it, it it's nothing. It's it it has it has gained Job absolutely nothing but more lament. It is he's he's gained nothing from it. And I also I was gonna say one more thing that you just said something, but I'll think about it. My apologies.

SPEAKER_03 27:18

No, you know, look look look, I'm gonna I'm gonna say something here. You know, because and then and then I'll give everybody their last word for tonight. You know, uh, it is just about you, Meg. Because and it made me think about it today because yesterday was was your birthday, and I didn't know it until yesterday. But I wanted everybody else to know something here. Because on my last birthday, my wife had had somewhere to be, she had somewhere to go for business or something like that. And so I was at home for a few days by myself. And I was home for my birthday. And Meg, I want all you guys to know because I'm gonna brag about her a little bit. She from Texas, me being in Mississippi, she orders me lunch and has it sent to my house. And I ate joyfully those ribs and potato salad and greens. I enjoyed it immensely, and the banana pudding. This is not something that ordinary people do. This is something that only extraordinary people do. This is something that has nothing to do with communicating doctrine. This has nothing to do with trying to resolve some lofty, thematic, theological highlight of the moment. This has nothing to do with with you know winning some argument or entering into a new debate about something, about this or about that. It was simply it was my birthday. I was at home, and she took it upon herself to order me lunch on my birthday. And I'm gonna tell you something.