LIVE DISCUSSION: Testimony of Venessa Martin (Part 1/4)

Some stories are polished. This one is honest, shaky, and brave. Vanessa Martin walks us through a Christian testimony that starts with childhood church memories and terrifying dreams of Satan chasing her, then moves into the confusing gap many believers know too well: getting saved young, loving God, and still backsliding because nobody ever taught you the Word deeply.

We talk about forgiveness as more than a nice idea. Vanessa shares how bitterness showed up in her life after divorce, how hate felt like a poison she didn’t recognize, and why forgiving her ex-husband became a turning point for her spiritual health. If you’ve wrestled with church hurt, broken trust, or the fear that your heart is hardening, you’ll recognize yourself in parts of this conversation.

Then the episode turns toward revival, Bible study, and spiritual warfare. Vanessa describes a late night at her kitchen table where Scripture felt alive and personal, like the Word “jumped off the page.” We also unpack the pain of being pushed out by church people, the consequences that ripple through a family, a sobering warning that ended her drinking on the spot, and a healing testimony where tumors later came back “all gone” at the doctor.

If you’re searching for hope, spiritual discernment, and a real faith journey that includes repentance, healing, and hard lessons, press play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs encouragement, and leave a review with the moment that challenged you most.

Transcript

Welcome And Testimony Setup

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Yep. All right, Christians. This is Testimony Tuesday. And I got my sister, my favorite sister, Vanessa Martin. Of course, all my sisters are my favorites, so that's what I say.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

That's what I started to say. I think we all are.

Childhood Church And Satan Dreams

SPEAKER_00 0:18

Exactly. So Vanessa is going to be giving her testimony tonight, everybody. And uh I'm certainly excited about hearing it. And I think it's a good, it's it's actually a good break for me in a good way, but it's a good break because it's a way to get to hear from some of the other brothers and sisters who are so faithful at attending our our discussions and gatherings. And uh, she's certainly one of them. So uh this was a big step for Vanessa, and I'm so glad that she took the time to do it. And so I appreciate you, sister. So we'll get right into it. This is the testimony of Vanessa Martin, which is going to be immortalized and memorialized forever after tonight. So let's start by let me start by asking you some background questions. Because I just got a bunch of questions, and you can feel free to take your time to answer them however you feel like it, and I'll just kind of guide you along. And if somebody in the comment has a question, um, I'll I'll field the questions for you. And you all you have to do is just answer them the way you always would. So the first question is then can you describe your religious or your spirit your spiritual background growing up? How was that?

SPEAKER_01 1:26

Oh wow, okay. Well, when we were children, about five or six years old, dad took us to church. And then after a couple years, he quit going. And we were Baptist at the time. And I after about eight years old, I started having these dreams of Satan um chasing me. Through he was chasing me through this, it was like a trailer, but it was had a door on each side. And uh then he would take me like we had this big hole in our front yard, not literally, but in my dream. And he would try to get me to go down in that hole. So I knew from a small child that I was chosen by God, I knew that. And I knew that Satan was chasing me for some reason. And then after about when I was 13 years old, I got saved and baptized, and mom and dad came to church. But I usually went by myself. So I mean it was great, but then through my teenage years, I was fine until I got about 17 years old. And then I backslid and started getting out in the world and doing stuff I shouldn't be doing. Because I was ignorant in the word, honestly. I really was. Right. Right. So but anything else?

SPEAKER_00 3:05

Yeah, no. Oh, we just getting started. We just getting warmed up, sister. So buckle up. Buckle up, buttercup, as they say.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

I just didn't know what to say.

SPEAKER_00 3:14

So let me ask you this. So so what beliefs about God, if any, do you remember do you remember being taught as a child? What were some of the earlier things about God that you came to believe early on as a child?

SPEAKER_01 3:28

Well, the first thing I remember is dad, when you know, he didn't have much of Jesus in him sometime, but he did tell me this. He said, Don't you ever call me father? He said, Because you have one father and he is in heaven. And so let's see, I get kind of teared up. So anyway, but he did tell me that.

SPEAKER_00 3:49

Um what was the question again? No, that was it. What were some of the what were some of the beliefs about God that you were taught as do you remember that you remember being taught as a child?

SPEAKER_01 4:00

Yeah, I I remember, you know, that he would uh that they taught me, you know, that Jesus loves us all, which I found out's not true. But anyway, um, you know, we were taught that as we were growing up, and we were taught that if we just asked God to forgive us, that we would be good, you know. But I mean, I really did feel the spirit when I got saved when I was 13. And uh, but nothing like I should have, I'll put it that way, because I don't think I knew anything.

SPEAKER_00 4:31

Right. Right. So, so the the what what you talked a little bit about the dream that you had about the devil chasing you. Did you have any other like uh experiences in your early life that kind of helped shape your view of Christianity either in the right way or a wrong way? And if and if a wrong way, how did you change from it? And if a right way, how did it help you grow?

SPEAKER_01 4:56

I just honestly, when we went to when I went to church, it was mostly um just full Baptist, you know, preaching and all that, and I could feel, you know, and singing. We had a lot of singing in our church. And um, but as far as shaping me, no. It was later.

SPEAKER_00 5:19

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 5:19

It was later in my life, it was later in my life, yeah.

Saved At Thirteen Then Backsliding

SPEAKER_00 5:22

All right, all right. So now, before becoming a Christian, how would you have described your view of the world or your purpose in life before you became a Christian? And that may have been young for you, but um, but like what what like what do you remember about you before you became a Christian?

SPEAKER_01 5:45

You know, the one thing that I have always been, and God gave me this gift, I've always been forgiving my whole entire life. Oh, wow. Somebody would do something to me, and I would forgive them because I knew that we had to forgive for some reason. And even when I was a child, I just never knew where I got that from. But I was always grateful that I got it, you know, that I could forgive people really easy. And I just thank God for that every day now because I am I'm a forgiver.

SPEAKER_00 6:18

And that hasn't changed, huh?

SPEAKER_01 6:20

Nope.

Forgiveness, Bitterness, And Divorce

SPEAKER_00 6:22

That's a great quality. And I notice your testimony, but that's that's one thing about my wife I love so much. She she forgives fast and gets over things fast, no grudges, but that's that's a great quality. And so, and you've never you have you ever encountered encountered a situation with a person that you felt you did not want to forgive?

SPEAKER_01 6:44

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 6:45

And how did you deal with it?

SPEAKER_01 6:47

Ex-husband. But I did, I finally forgave him because I was getting bitter, you know, and I'd never been bitter in my life. And I mean, he did a lot of stuff to me, but um that's beside the point. But I didn't want, you know, I was just like, man, I felt like I had so much hatred. I never felt hate before. And then I felt that, and it was hate, and it was like, how do you get over this? You know, I mean, and I was like still reading my Bible sometime, but I wasn't a full Christian. I mean, I I backslid, so right, you know, I wasn't and I wasn't with God like I should have been.

SPEAKER_03 7:28

Right.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

And um, so anyway, uh, yeah, I hated him, but I had to forgive him. And I did, God let me forgive him. And I just went on, and I with his children and stuff, they were they kept in touch with me after we got divorced because they loved me. Right. So that was a good thing.

SPEAKER_00 7:50

Right. Now, who who do you think who was who was probably would you say was the most instrumental person in you coming to faith? And then who who would you say was instrumental in in helping you sustain that faith that you had?

SPEAKER_01 8:07

All I can say is Jesus. So no, there was no I never had no adult. I never had no adult. I mean, sometimes I would go over to my girlfriend's house and I go to church with them, a couple girlfriends actually. But um, no, nobody really taught me anything. They were wild, you know, because they were preachers' kids. And at the time, you know, preachers' kids at when I was growing up, they were pretty wild. They were worse than other children.

SPEAKER_02 8:33

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 8:34

So, you know, I mean, I just always felt God. I I've always felt him.

SPEAKER_00 8:41

And so your mom and dad, neither one of them were like, and you said you came to faith at what age? I was 13 when I got saved. Okay, 13. Okay, so that's that's a big difference. So we'll talk about that. We'll talk about that in a second. Um so is that when you when you were 13, is that when you first really began to start thinking about God and spiritual matters in a very serious way?

SPEAKER_01 9:08

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

And how did that become sorry? No, how did that come about?

SPEAKER_01 9:13

Uh until I, well, after I got baptized and everything, I stayed in church. You know, mom and dad didn't go to church with me. They did when I got baptized, they went that day and watched me get baptized, but other than that, they didn't go to church. And but I always wanted to go to church because I always felt God and I wanted to know who He was my whole entire life.

SPEAKER_03 9:35

Right.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

I mean, I really do know that God was with me when I was in my mom's womb. I really know that. Wow. And I mean, it's just something that I've just always been. I I have always been with God, and I know that. Even though I went out, backslid, and did stuff I shouldn't have been doing because I didn't know any better. But now I do.

SPEAKER_00 10:00

So, so so what would your parents say when you would go to church? I mean, what would what did they ask where you're going? Did they say you couldn't go? I mean, what did they did? You sneak out? What was that like?

SPEAKER_01 10:11

No, I asked them if they wanted to go with me, but no, they never wanted to go. Really? Want to go to church with me? No, not today. Yeah, they and then I just would go, especially when I was a teenager, you know.

SPEAKER_00 10:24

I'd and and and what and what what do you think because I I know that when we all become Christians, there there ends up there ends up being this overwhelming sort of conviction that we can have. Did you experience something like that? Like like just this weight on you. And what was that like?

SPEAKER_01 10:46

Yes, my heart, my heart would hurt so bad because I I mean, I was a depressed child. And I mean, I didn't have I couldn't I'm a very outgoing person when I'm in person with people.

SPEAKER_03 11:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:01

But I was kind of withdrawn when I was a child. I uh I would stay in the house and watch TV and stuff all the time because I didn't want to be around people. And uh, but I always felt like I was I never felt alone because I always knew that God was with me, but I just knew that everybody was different than I was. Does that make sense?

Bible Study Revelation With Burl

SPEAKER_00 11:24

Yeah, that totally makes sense. That totally makes sense, yeah. So was there like now, and most people have this kind of a situation, but was there like any particular event, crisis, question that stirred your interest in faith at all? Anything like that? What is because usually there's something that triggers a person that to seek and whatever. And I know you came at a young age, but sometimes there's usually some kind of an event or crisis or something that sort of really stirs you up. Was there anything like that with you?

SPEAKER_01 11:56

When I got older, I uh when I was older, I had I was going to church and we were in a revival.

SPEAKER_03 12:04

Right.

SPEAKER_01 12:05

And uh this guy came, they were from the south, some of the people were from the south. And this guy came and his name was Burl, and I called him Brother Burl. And um his wife was, I think Christina, I'm not sure. I can't remember her name very well, but anyway, um, they came to my house because the people that I was at church with, they didn't want anything to do with him for some reason. And I thought I told him, I said, you can come and stay at my house. So him and his wife came, and the reason that they wanted to wait to go to go somewhere was because they needed a muffler for the car. And um, I said, Well, how how are you gonna get that? I said, because the church just doesn't seem like they want to give you money or anything. And he said, God will give it for me. And um, so I said, Okay. Well, then one night we were at my kitchen table, and I asked him, I said, Brother Bruce, is there a way that I can learn more about God than what I know? And he said, Let me tell you something, Vanessa. He said, Most people will go out in the bars and hang out till two or three o'clock in the morning and do whatever they want to do, get drunk and dance and do whatever. But nobody wants to sit down and learn about God. So that night, I said, Well, I'm willing. So me and him and his wife sat down at my kitchen table, and we started reading the Bible, and all of a sudden the spirit came over me, and literally God showed me who Jesus was.

SPEAKER_00 13:47

Sorry, God. That's all right, sister. Don't be sorry, just take your time. Take your time. Take your time.

SPEAKER_01 13:53

And how he showed me who Jesus was. Was um the page is in the Bible. Honestly, and this is literal. The word on the page jumped off and showed me who he was. He says, I am the word. So thank you, Lord.

SPEAKER_00 14:22

That's right, my sister, take your time. This is all about you tonight. Say, take your time. You're all right.

SPEAKER_01 14:31

And I know. So I was really happy, you know, and I felt the spirit, and the spirit was all over me for days. And I went back to church that day, or that was it next Wednesday, I think it was the Wednesday. No, because we were having a revival, so we were there Monday, I think it was. And um, they told me I was Jesus only because I knew who the word was. And um I said, I am not Jesus. I started this church out of my house. And so, but they kicked me out of church.

SPEAKER_00 15:11

Wait, you started a church, you you started a church at your own house and you got kicked out of that church?

Church Hurt And Home Church

SPEAKER_01 15:16

Yes. Wow. Oh, yeah, I've been through some stuff, boy. I'm gonna tell you. But um, but that's all right. We all have our stories, don't we? We do. Anyway, we all do. Um, well, there was a man that came. I was at the church of God because I was in a Pentecostal church at the time. And I was at the church of God, and um this man came, and he was gonna be our new preacher. And uh he came to our he stopped at our house, my husband's house at the time, and he walked in my front door and he was this big huge guy. But that didn't bother me. But when he walked in my front door, I looked in his face and I could see in his eyes that he had evil in him. And I told my husband at the time, I said, He's a demon. He said, What do you mean? And I said, He's got the devil in him. And he actually tore that church apart.

SPEAKER_03 16:15

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 16:15

So anyway, after that, that's when I started the church out of my house. And um, so we would have church in my basement because I had chairs set up and everything, we would have church there. And um, gosh, I'm shaking. Sorry. That's okay. That's all right. I'm shaking because I got some spirit on me and I know it. Anyway, this is what happens to me. Um, anyway, I uh after we started that church, and then we had bought land, you know, we all got to, you know, everybody the church got together and and put the money together and bought some land because we were gonna build a church. And the day that they kicked me out, he told me that I have to come back to church anymore. God drove my car home that day. That's all I can say, because I don't even remember going home. And uh, but he told me on the way home, he said that church will never be built. And it never was. You know, like I said, God's He's always given me gifts and showed me things, and um, even though it's only for me, it's wouldn't for somebody else, you know.

SPEAKER_03 17:37

Right.

A Warning Voice Ends Drinking

Revival Healing And Tumors Gone

SPEAKER_01 17:38

And uh anyway, that was that part of my life, and that's my kids was in church, you know, and everything, and now my son's uh he doesn't even believe in God. Because I think that we all got hurt because when they took took kick me out of church, I mean that was the worst hurt, one of the worst hurts I've ever felt in my life. I mean, because it was I love them people, you know, and they were my it would be like losing one of you guys, you know, or losing you guys. And it was like, man, I don't know if I'll ever trust anybody again, as far as people were concerned. And um anyway, I got through that. God got me through all that, and then my husband was preaching at the time, and uh, he wasn't very much of a preacher, but that's my opinion. Well, because we were dispensationalists at the time, and I didn't even know what that was, right? Okay, and and but the the true word of God was not coming through, right? And so anyway, he we kept we kept going back and forth, and anyways, we ended up in a divorce, and um that was really hard for me, and now I backslid again then because I was just like so upset, and then I started drinking a little bit. I wasn't an alcoholic, but I drank a lot at the time, right? And um so after that, because I started going out, you know, with my friends and stuff, and I you know, we drink and I get drunk, and then I never drank by myself before. And then one day I had gone out by myself and I started drinking, and I went into this bar. There was a bar that I frequented, and um, there was a the bartender's name was Mike, and he was the only person in there. So I went in and I sat down at the bar and I asked him for a drink, and so he gave me one. And all of a sudden I heard this person go, Vanessa. I mean, it was like it was verbal. And I said, Mike, what do you want? You know, I was like, what do you want? And he goes, Vanessa, I didn't say anything to you. And I said, Yes, you did, and he goes, No, I swear I didn't. And so in a few minutes I heard it again. Vanessa. And I said, What? And he goes, Vanessa, I am not talking to you. And then all of a sudden, he says, if you don't quit drinking, you're gonna die. And I got up and walked out out of that bar and ever went back. So that was a good thing. So I'm just so grateful. I'm just so grateful. I can't thank him enough. There's been a lot of things that's happened in my life and over the years. And after that, I started back to church again. And I was in revival one night. Actually, we was at Lester Summerall's church in uh in Indiana. And uh the spirit was moving really well, and I was praying my heart out, and I'd been diagnosed with a bunch of tumors, and they wanted to do surgery on me. And um that night I was praying, and all of a sudden I felt something come out of me. It was like it just streamed down my legs, and I'm thinking, what's going on? And um, but I was praying for it, and um, so anyway, it was like six months later that I went back to the doctor. And um and uh they told me they were all gone. Every one of them. I had one birch, that's how I found out I had them. And uh, but they were all gone. Every one of them, there wasn't nothing there. They did an ultrasound and said there wasn't anything there, and so you know, I was like so happy, and I went on with my life. And of course, I married somebody else. I wanted that's what I wanted in my life. I wanted to be happy and and you know, live with something. You know, be married to somebody and have a family, and that's what I wanted in my life. And I hope I'm not talking too fast for anybody. No, no, you're doing all right.

SPEAKER_00 22:08

You're doing all right.

SPEAKER_01 22:09

All right.

SPEAKER_00 22:12

Go ahead. No, so I was gonna just ask you, so and you can finish what you're gonna say, and then you can just pick up on this one too. So like before you before you were converted, right? Before you got to this point, what what were your thoughts about sin, guilt, morality? What did you what what did what did you what was in your mind uh leading up to your conversion about those things? Sin, morality, and guilt.

Sin, Guilt, And Moral Conviction

SPEAKER_01 22:44

Well, sin, guilt is hard, man. I had a lot of guilt because I was doing things that I shouldn't be doing. And I didn't want to do them, but I was doing them anyway, because Satan was like right out of my tail. And um, but I mean, like I said, there was things that I done that I was not happy about. Morality, I always wanted to be, I always thought morals because God gave them to us, you know. God gave us our morals in our minds, and so we pretty much knew what morals was. I did anyway. Um but uh what was the other part?

SPEAKER_00 23:22

Morality, sin, and guilt.

SPEAKER_01 23:25

Oh, sin. Yeah, sin.

SPEAKER_00 23:27

Like, like, like what was your like because yeah, so what was like what I'm trying to get at is like most of the time how we perceive these things, sin, morality, guilt, had they it plays into what brings us to Christ to a lot of to a lot of degree. I mean it's different for everybody, but in different degrees. But for you, how what what were your thoughts about these things? Did you think about those things? Did they weigh in on you coming to Christ? I mean, how did how did that affect you? How do those things affect you? Or what was your perspective on those things?

SPEAKER_01 24:04

As far as sin goes, I just knew that anybody that was doing what they shouldn't be doing was gonna go to hell. That's what I knew. Right. And um, but and I would see people doing things that I knew they shouldn't be doing, and I would say something to them, you know, and ask them, did they know Jesus? But you know, I as far as myself, I knew I shouldn't sin, but I did. We all do. Um, but not on purpose. I never sinned on purpose until later because I backslid again. Because I went through a divorce and uh another one. And uh I'm telling you, man, I've lived through it. But I am old enough to l live through it. Um so and then I started going out and doing things I shouldn't be doing.