Jennifer Malcolm interviews Sara Harvey. Sara is the founder of Innertelligence, where she coaches and trains leaders and leadership teams to tap into their potential and develop courage and confidence in their abilities. She integrates meditation, mindfulness, and mind-body health practices into her coaching experience. Sara shares how she overcame things she learned as a child to rewrite her story from being NICE to become a courageous leader.
Jennifer Malcolm interviews Sara Harvey. Sara is the founder of Innertelligence, where she coaches and trains leaders and leadership teams to tap into their potential and develop courage and confidence in their abilities. She integrates meditation, mindfulness, and mind-body health practices into her coaching experience. Sara shares how she overcame things she learned as a child to rewrite her story from being NICE to become a courageous leader.
Welcome to the Jennasis Speaks: The Transformative Power of Women's Stories, a platform that empowers women storytelling, to promote collective vulnerability, acceptance and healing. I am your host, Jennifer Malcolm, self made entrepreneur, women advocate and life balance expert. Hello, guys, welcome to our next
podcast of Jennasis Speaks:The Transformative Power of Women's Stories where every woman has a story and every story matters. I'm your host, Jennifer Malcolm, founder and CEO of Jennasis and Associates, and your podcast hosts. Today with me, I have a beautiful friend late space heart space, Sara Harvey, founder of inerts intelligence, a company that coaches and trains business leaders to discover the resources, mind body systems, tools and talents that give you the power and edge you need to be an extraordinary leader. Sara was so excited to have you with us today. And to hear your story and for taking the time to be with us. So welcome, Sara.
Sara Harvey:Thank you, Jenn, I'm really excited to be a part of this new podcast. And I know it's gonna be so impactful for women over the years to hear personal stories from other women. Because that's how women grow, right? We grow together as a tribe. And this this podcast that you're creating is going to be a beautiful platform to let that happen. So thanks for that.
Jennifer Malcolm:You're so welcome. I'm really excited because our podcast is live. And over the last several weeks, the immediate response from people who have not been in my life, even for last 1015 years, actually going back even to high school at a high school, teachers wife reached out to me and just really giving thumbs up. So I'm really excited to see where this goes. And to see what unfolds. And it's all about healing and giving courage along the way. So excited to have you here today. And to share your story. And let's dive in and and you want to just start talking about the fingerprints that childhood leaves in your life throughout the years. So let's just jump right into it.
Sara Harvey:Sure. Yeah, I wanted to kind of kick off the the talk today, by going back to my childhood a little bit, which, you know, I want to start by saying I had a great childhood. Okay, I had great parents, all things considered, everything was good. So I don't have a crisis to share with you. But what I will tell you is that the family that I grew up in was a very nice family. And when I say nice, I don't necessarily mean nice and wealthy or nice in any I mean, nice, like, happy face nice. And what that meant was that we pretty much had one emotion in our family, which was happy. And there was no room for conflict, for confrontation, for having the tough conversations. In fact, you know, the general feel was, you know, if you're not happy, you can go in your room. And when you can come back out with a happy face, you can join the happy family. And so yeah, so you know, I got messaging from that family dynamic, which was conflict is bad. confrontation is is is it means something's broken, right. So run away, turn your other cheek, be nice. But whatever you do, don't address the conflict. And so I became a very nice person. Friendly, positive, I could get along with anyone. Right. And so that sounds like a strength in many ways. And in some ways it was, but in other ways, it actually stopped me from getting what was most important in my life, which was love. Right, because, because on the other side of conflict and confrontation is intimacy. And when you avoid that you actually forego the intimacy as well. And the the kind of the catalyst for me so I, you know, I, I was a high school cheerleader naturally, right. And then I went on to be a flight attendant for American Airlines. Can you imagine a better job for this happy, friendly positive girl who didn't really like conflict? You know, I would just stand at the front of the airplane door and say bye bye. And you know, these people were gone and out of my life, and I was on to the next flight. But I got I got married, right and I married a pilot, which of course, is the quintessential thing that a flight attendant does. And that relationship after one year fell apart and What I'll tell you was that he cheated on me. So I can go on and on and on and on and blame him for that. Right? And have my ego feel somewhat satisfied about that. But the truth is, I think at any junction in your life, you have to stop and say, hey, what was my contribution to the downfall of that relationship? Because it always takes two people. And what I realized is that my desire to be conflict, avoidant, actually helped facilitate the the destruction of that marriage, right, or the falling apart of that marriage. Because, you know, after a while, you know, if you don't face conflict, and you're not willing to step in and have the tough conversations, people just stop asking you What's wrong, right? Because, you know, when when you're afraid of conflict, and somebody says, What's wrong? Your automatic answer is nothing. I'm fine. And they're like, No, you It seems like something's wrong, like, you seem kind of quiet or upset. No, I'm fine. Right? You know, but I wasn't fine. I was upset about something, I was hurt, I was bruised, I was wounded, right. But I didn't have the courage to come forward and say, Hey, you hurt my feelings, you know, I didn't appreciate that, you know, I want to see that change. And, you know, as a result, you know, then sort of this silence gets created, right, and a divide builds. And, and so that, you know, as difficult as that, you know, divorce was, it was a catalyst to say, hey, like, something's not working in my life. You know, I mean, I wanted like, all of us, I wanted love, I wanted intimacy, I wanted connection, I wanted vulnerability. And my avoidance of conflict wasn't getting me that.
Jennifer Malcolm:So really, from a childhood, early childhood, so you're the, the core emotions are mad, glad, sad, fear, shame. I know, there's lots of little, you know, nuances. So you really were in that glad space and not doing any of the four. So 20% of emotions are core emotions you live to 100% of your life are forced to live that Jimmy stories good, bad, of growing up that your besides pain, go into your room, and put on your smiling face and to come out. But on your smiley face, when you're when you're ready to come out? Do you have stories of your childhood, where you remember, like, that really impacted positively or negatively being kind of pigeon holed into that emotion? Well,
Sara Harvey:I think that, you know, I as as any child, like, there was times when I got hurt, right? I got emotionally hurt, I should say, right? bruised, upset, you know, somebody hurt my feelings. And I just kind of remember going into my room and like screaming into my pillow, right? Because I wasn't given the tools, and the guidance and the Okay, to come back out and have the conversation, right. So, so what I do remember is a lot getting stuffed, you know, stuffed inside and not getting articulated. And that that that groove, right, in my mind, you know, of the story that I was telling myself, that conflict is bad, was just deepening and deepening and deepening. And I found myself, you know, there's the other side of that, which is the justification for that, right? Where, where it's like, well, you know, you're supposed to be nice, you're supposed to be, you know, positive, you're supposed to be able to get along. So it just sort of reaffirmed that in my life. All the time growing up, you know, so, yes, it was peaceful in my home, for sure. You know, but on the other hand, when you get out in the real world, right, and you grow up in life isn't just happy, or no, and and when you talk to start talking about human dynamics, you know, that conflict and confrontation and saying difficult things is literally just a part of relationships. So I felt ill equipped when I got out in the world. And so I just kept repeating the patterns that I knew from my childhood and, and that, you know, it took a, it took a challenging or a difficult event, to even wake up to the fact that, Oh, this is what I'm doing. This is how I'm behaving. This is how I'm showing up. And it's not working.
Jennifer Malcolm:Absolutely. Did you recognize that in your youth like that something was missing? Or was it just functional through your youth? Like you didn't know anything different? Or did you feel a void? Obviously, you're having your emotions screaming into a pillow. But did you recognize that there's really a gap either by seeing other friends or was it really the conflict with and catalyst from your divorce? And marriage that really gave you that first like, wow, there's a whole world of emotions that I never even knew.
Sara Harvey:Yeah, it was absolutely the divorce that got me to that point. Because even growing up, right, I would see other families, let's say that were that were able to kind of go at it and have kind of healthy debate and unhealthy debate, I would say. And I would look at that, and I would say, wow, that family dynamic is broken. Wow, they, there's, they have problems, right. And so I saw it as good and bad, right? So conflict, avoidance, peace, happy, equals good, you know, people debating disagreeing, you know, fighting quote, unquote, bad broken, right. So I kind of bucket ties these things. And, and, you know, and even after I got divorced, it wasn't easy. It wasn't easy to change the grooves that had been in there so deeply. And in fact, you know, I will say, facing conflict, having tough conversations is a lifelong opportunity. For me, I'm not calling it a battle anymore, I'm calling it an opportunity. So because it's like, you know, so many of these things that come from your childhood, they, they sit like seeds inside of you. And even if you've managed them, and you get it, right, you get it in your mind, you get it into intellectually, that that's probably not ideal, you know, you, you still have to be very aware of what what shift needs to take place and how you need to show up differently in order for that seed not to kind of, you know, re pollinate and start showing up again. So it's something like, you know, and, you know, what I had to do really is re articulate it, right. So I had these all these storylines, about conflict, confrontation being bad, and, you know, being broken. And so I had to go about saying, Okay, if that's not true, what is true? Sure, what is true, right? And so it's like, instead, I wanted to say, listen, actually facing conflicts helps me build strong trusting relationships, I can actually figure out the best possible outcome, and start a conversation that may be difficult with that best outcome in mind. Right, I get to invite dialog to help us get unstuck. So I just had to start coming up with a new story. You know, I couldn't just simply say, conflict is good. I couldn't go there. Because I didn't believe it.
Jennifer Malcolm:When I do the job, though. It's too big of a jump to go from it's conflict is bad to conflict is good. And I just move on. So yes, messaging and memories and patterns and reinforcement for all those years, that you can just turn the light switch the other way and be like, Alright, now I'm gonna just start thinking a different way.
Sara Harvey:Yes, absolutely correct. So I kind of had to kind of re articulate it on paper, right, put it down, it's okay. If you don't believe that, then what do you believe, put that down on paper and like, post it up? Like I had to have it in a space where I was looking at it every day, and re articulating it again, and again. And that is one of the things that helped helped shift my mindset, you know, around conflict, I also kind of over the years took on a an anthem, which I don't know if you know that song by Sarah Bareilles. That's called brave.
Jennifer Malcolm:Yes, yes.
Sara Harvey:So, yeah, so that song became kind of my anthem, right? It's like it says, you know, let the words fall out, say what you have to say, you know, and so, in moments, when I knew I had to go have a challenging conversation or a difficult conversation, I would turn that song on in my car at like, a really high volume, and sing it at the top of my lungs of it as a way to, like build courage for myself, because that's what having those kind of conversations for me was about. It was about finding and having courage and having the guts to, to say what was in my heart, you know, and not being as worried about the response. And being more concerned with expressing what I need to express.
Jennifer Malcolm:I love what you said, you know, at the beginning of this conversation, that the conflict is an opportunity to birth intimacy, because that's where trust is comes in. That's where muscles are formed. And it's not about necessarily agreeing or coming to, hey, it's my version versus your version. It can be a compromise could be, you know, any part of that. But other than that, the conflict births intimacy, and when we get through that scary wall of I'm going to be rejected, I'm going to be hurt, I'm going to whatever those words are that we put up when we have the courage or the bravery to go through that. It does have this pond of intimacy that you can't have on the other side. And I think that's beautiful. You said it really well. What are you after you got divorced? How did you besides journaling? Besides listening this brave? Like, what's the next season of life that you started practicing or doing at this time?
Sara Harvey:Well, so then I, you know, this, this was I'm still working for American Airlines, right. And I was a flight attendant, and I ended up when you have these catalysts in your life for these moments of significant change, you kind of sit down and go, Wow, where should I go next? Because I will tell you, I was five years old, when I knew that I would be a flight attendant. It wasn't something that Yeah, like, I got crystal clear on that when I was five years old. And I never deviated from that I studied Spanish and French. So I could be on international routes. And I was crystal clear. Right? I was also clear that I would have five kids, I would be married when I was 25. I'd be the queen of the PTA. Like I was one of those girls, right ducks in a row. Absolutely. And, and here I was now so there were no more ducks in a row. What I said, I'm like, Okay, well, I just got divorced. Kids are not basically in the picture. At this point. I don't even have a partner anymore. Wow, where am I gonna go next. And so that was actually a moment where I decided to really Okay, it's time to invest in me. All right, it's time to like, like a sponge, it's time to kind of get soaked back up again. And Phil, because you know, these these difficult moments, especially like divorces, they can kind of deplete you a bit on every level. So I really made the commitment to invest in myself, I went back and got an MBA and I know you just recently got an MBA. So I deeply appreciate the the value of that and what it just does for your, you know, for your well being and your psyche. So I got a I went back and got an MBA, and I will tell you that I didn't get the MBA, so that I could be like the president of Citibank, like I didn't have a big aspiration like that. I wanted to get an MBA because I thought about it. And you know, I had a bachelor's degree and I was at a, you know, I studied Spanish. And French was like, Well, if I'd quit my job, and I had three kids, and then I was getting divorced, like, how would I make it? Could I raise my kids on my own, you know, being a Spanish teacher in an elementary school, I don't know. But I got a little bit scared about that. And so I went back to school to have something in my hip pocket. So that if I ever was faced with another life crisis that inhibited me in some capacity, I always knew that I had at least a degree, at least a master's degree to support me so. So it was really a protection mechanism that inspired me to go back and get a degree. And after I got that degree, I went back to work at American Airlines, but this time and headquarters, Oh, wow. And yeah, so I was in management now, right? Because I had the MBA and I was starting to climb the corporate ladder, and you know, all that that goes along with your late, you know, 20s and beyond, and, and I found myself in this really curious pattern where, you know, every 18 months, I would be like, what's next? What else? What more, I was always looking outward and forward. For me, the present at that point in my life was bad. It was for lazy people. It was where nothing was happening. I was all about the what's next. What else? What more. And so every 18 months, I would like finding another job, I would create a new relationship in my life, I would actually move I've moved 20 times in 30 years, if you can, yeah, yeah. So I have a philosophy that I'd rather move and clean my house. So I have a lot backing it up and keep moving forward. Just keep going. And it's a great opportunity to divest off what you have. So I you know, accumulate divest and move, accumulate, divest and move. So, so I got you know, so the upside, you know, and there's usually an upside and a downside. So the upside is that, you know, I got promotions, and I ended up getting more money and more responsibility. And so my ego was pretty satisfied with that. And then through a series of events, um, I ended up moving to San Diego. And just so you know, when any woman says a series of events, it means they met a guy. So I met this guy
Jennifer Malcolm:that took you to San Diego,
Sara Harvey:it took me to San Diego. Now the guy didn't work out, but that's okay. Because I ended up living in the village of La Jolla, which is a little quaint village in, in, in, in San Diego. And there was this job posting that we were still looking in the newspaper for jobs at that point. That's how far back I go. But as a little Director of Sales and Marketing at the Chopra center, My interest in working in this in this Wellness Center was that I can ride my bike to work know that all right now I'll tell you that this Wellness Center was Dr. Deepak Chopra's Wellness Center. And if you if you don't know him, it's okay. Like he's only written you know, 87 books and has 10 million followers. But anyway, so I do.
Jennifer Malcolm:All you were concerned about is I can ride my bike.
Sara Harvey:That was the mission. Right. So so you know, I got the job which kind of surprised me. I think they were looking for some people with some business acumen and and, you know, they had a deep spiritual base there. And so it was a little balancing opportunity. So I came in and I, you know, was like, wow, where am I? What planet is this? What? What What am I? What planet have I landed on? Where am I? It was not American Airlines. Let me just tell you that.
Jennifer Malcolm:Different culture
Sara Harvey:way different culture? Yeah, yeah, you're talking going from, you know, huge fortune 500 down to, like an entrepreneurial, adolescent, agile young company. And so I just remember, they're sitting there, you know, first month in the job, just, you know, wow, this what what is all this you know, they were speaking Sanskrit, this ancient language that predates Hindi and, you know, nama stay in front of Yama, and all this and I was just, like, kinda lost, you know,
Jennifer Malcolm:I can be nice.
Sara Harvey:Yeah, right. I was like, there with my blonde Bob and my red painted fingernails. And they're like, no, who are you? Why are you here? So, but you know, shortly, and I got my own mantra, and I learned to meditate. And I was practicing yoga and going to Deepak seminars and just in immersed into personal development and spiritual development and immersed into a world that I didn't know, right. And it was had kind of an Eastern slant to it. But it was just all really unique. But what I found is after, you know, I don't know, two or three months was like, wow, I really appreciate what I'm learning. And to be honest, it's kind of in alignment with what I think anyway, that's all so even though I didn't, I never had that kind of Eastern slant in my life. I grew up in a traditional, you know, Catholic home. I was like, for me, personally, this resonates, this actually aligns with me and my soul. And, and so I was really loving it, right? And then the 18 month mark hit. And I was like, ooh, time to get out of here. Right. I was in the, what's next, what else? What more? And? And what I realized is that what I you know, I was asking myself, why am I asking this again? Why am I doing this again? What? What am I looking for that I don't have? And, you know, I would go back to a sutra that I learned at Chopra center. A sutra is a mantra with meaning. And so this sutra in Sanskrit was a humdrum asked me. And a hombre Masami means I am the universe, you know, in all of its glory, and elegance, failures, and foibles, like, I'm a part of that. And, you know, what I realized was that there was a bit of this golden child syndrome going on. And, you know, I thought that if, if people saw me make mistakes, they wouldn't like me, they might reject me. I wasn't good enough. So there was this kind of underlying lack of self acceptance. And this particular sutra, was a daily reminder to me that it's like, Listen, you can run, but you cannot hide. Wherever you go, you're going to keep showing up. Right? And this is like, you can you can go back and look now, five or six years, and you can see this pattern that's developed. Right. And, and you had it fully justified, right? Because you were getting more money and more responsibility, and you were climbing the corporate ladder, right? But at some point, you have to ask yourself, why, right? And his are all those moves and all those changes, getting you the deep fulfillment that you really want in your life.
Jennifer Malcolm:You think part of it stems from the childhood to have 18 months, I don't want to even anticipate conflict or rejection. And so I'm, I'm going to be in charge of my own destiny. And before that could happen. I'm going to move and migrate and again Yes, it's corporate ladder and more money, but you got anything.
Sara Harvey:Yeah, by by moving every 18 months, you will never figure out that I'm less than perfect, right? You will never figure out I make mistakes. Because by the time any of that happens, I'll be long gone. That's Yeah. Yeah. And and and, you know, that is a never ending game. Sure. And that is a game upon which you never really reach a deep sense of self satisfaction. Because you're, it's like always being on the run, right?
Jennifer Malcolm:So now yourself, you're facing this now the tension in your heart and soul of 18 months. Now I'm, I'm finding a safe space and finding a, an environment and culture that really resonates. So now what do you do with this conflict?
Sara Harvey:So thanks to kind of that, that sutra, I would say and the work that I was doing on myself, because now I've been kind of meditating for 18 months, and I've been, I've been really soul searching for 18 months, that was kind of one of the beautiful things about working there is that you kind of get to work on yourself at the same time, you're helping clients come in and do their own work. So it's really a blessing in that way. And it was really about finding the courage to stay. And I did write, I stayed and ended up staying for 14 years. Right. So it was a huge turning point for me. And trust me, I made plenty of mistakes over the 15 years. But what I found is that in spite of those mistakes, people still liked me, in spite of those mistakes, I got another chance. In spite of those mistakes, I was able to grow and become better and better at who I was going to become. So there was these gifts, right in having the courage to be to stay and to confront the, you know, my demons or whatever fears that that I brought forward, you know, and I learned as a as a leader that imperfections, vulnerability, are two traits that that employees really respect in a leader, you know, and that they, they want to cultivate in themselves. And so it's okay to model that. And, you know, I ended up becoming the Chief Operating Officer at Deepak Chopra's company. And, you know, when I first took that role on to I was pretty scared, I was thinking, wow, like, how do I do this role? You know, this is Deepak Chopra. How do I run his companies? And, you know, not having all the answers, the first thing I did was to lean into my team. And knowing that they were good at things that I wasn't good at, and vice versa. And that the only way we were going to be able to build this company out, was to do it together. And that gave me a lot of comfort in in in leading his organization, doing it as a team.
Jennifer Malcolm:No, and that's powerful, because that is the foundation of Jennasis where, you know, initial years, I had a lot of ego, I had to do it myself, I had that perfectionist mentality, but the ability to start knocking down those emotions or feelings that don't serve me, and to bring on a team and to model humility to model acceptance to model gratitude, to model you are better, faster, smarter than me in these spaces. And that's really good. And that's why I need you on the team and to through the years, you know, sharing my story with the team and saying, if you like this story, this is who the leader of the company is outstanding. If you don't, that's okay, too. There, you know. So it's that place of vulnerability, acceptance that really brings a deeper level of trust authenticity, community, instead of just functioning on a corporate level. Hmm. Oh, no, that's really good. So as you're going through this, you have your team, you're now CEO. So how does this progress?
Sara Harvey:Yeah, so So step one, right, I get in there. I'm a little bit nervous, a little bit scared, feeling uncertain. And the person that I replaced actually was our, our previous CEO, was a physician. He was a neurologist, he, he was most the most deep denier VEDA, he was, you know, number two speaker after Deepak. He was a medical director, he was a product formulator. And I was like, wow, like, I am none of that. So how do I, how do I do I hire six more people to replace, you know, all the roles that he played. We didn't have the money to do that. So we weren't going to bring six six more people on. And I remember Deepak talking about a woman that he said, Listen, you should come to our meditation retreat, our seven day meditation retreat. And she said, Listen, I don't have the money for that. And I frankly don't even know where the money would come from. You know, he looked at her and he said, it's gonna come from Wherever it is now. And all of a sudden that came to me and I realized that whatever I need is going to come to me from wherever it is now. So sir, move out of the way, step back, because you're fundamentally blocking the flow of energy. So step out of the river a little bit and allow the water to flow, and trust that the seeds for what you need were planted a long time ago, okay, I'm a big believer in the fact that there's this divine plan out there, and we're all a part of it. And, and what I realized is that soon enough, we created an advisory board. And we brought in an expert in, in mantra based meditation in IR VEDA and yoga. So that piece was covered, one of our medical physicians stepped up as the medical director, so that was covered. So sure enough, in relatively short period of time, all of these roles got filled, and not in the traditional way of like, Oh, we hired six more people, but just organically, it was like being taken care of is what I would say. So that was my number one most powerful lesson was trust, and get out of the way, you know, because once you set an intention, a clear single pointed intention, and you're done, the universe wants to deliver on that deep driving desire for you. So step out of the way, and let that happen. And so that was very powerful for me to trust into the teachings. And the other thing too, about the teachings is, when we would have you know, we were a business like any other right, even though we were in spiritual development, and we were business like any other and had business issues, just like everybody. But the beautiful thing was that when when we had business issues, we would very often be able to say, let's go back to the teachings and see what's there. Let's go back to to the wisdom, the ancient wisdom and see if we can draw upon that for a solution to the problems. And that was a very beautiful thing to be able to do. Because that kind of ancient wisdom that was taught at the Chopra center is really not based on extreme effort control force, it's really based on allowing, right intending and then allowing, and so that was a great source of leadership development, even though it was kind of, you know, it didn't look like that. On the surface, it actually was a great form of leadership development,
Jennifer Malcolm:which is so different than how we are traditionally trained. As far as Let's be purposeful, let's control let's strike the strategy. Let's, you know, put our ducks in a row, let's pull in the right people, let's get counseling, lets you know what all that all those things are. And to really just say, you know, what, if the seeds there, trust, let go and let them with flow and get all the way like that is, like we would say it's upside down leadership. But how powerful and how much evolves from it, that you couldn't imagine if you're trying to control and hold on? And, you know, and that doesn't give up strategy or doesn't give up conventional wisdom, but allowing the flow through that that's, that's powerful.
Sara Harvey:Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then I think, you know, what happened was I, I grew into that role. So I was the Chief Operating Officer for seven years. And in that last year, you know, I started feeling a little uncertain about, you know, what I wanted for this particular phase of my life, right. I've been, I've been in business for 30 years, right, and in leadership for 25 of those years, and had gleaned a lot of wisdom and knowledge and insights. And, you know, because of my role as in business, I had sort of this unique blend of kind of spiritual background and and wisdom traditions, coupled with the business acumen, right, real life practical business acumen. And so I decided that you know, what, it's time, it's time for me to go out and take everything that I've learned, and bring it forward in the world in my voice, and where my passion lies is with business leaders. And so how can I take all this wisdom that I've garnered all the professional experience I've garnered, and help other business leaders to be more authentic, to be more conscious, and to call forward who they are meant to be right from the inside out?
Jennifer Malcolm:No, and I love that because I have known you through this journey when you were still CEO, and saw this transition and the courage that it took for you To say, Wait, I have I have what it takes to do this. And it is time for me to move it forward, use it in my niek, you know, capability and creation to bless empower, encourage, equip other business leaders. And that was beautiful to watch. And so now share with the audience, what your business is now and the work that you do.
Sara Harvey:Great. So I started a company called inner intelligence. And the idea behind that I wrote into a an affirmation that says, before you go out go in. And the idea there is that we have everything we need inside of us to be extraordinary leaders. We, unfortunately spend more time looking out there for someone else to model, we look at somebody else's style, and we say, I want to be that I want to be more of like that person. But and you can work you can work to try to do that. But the truth is, you're much better off figuring out how can I be more of who I really am? How can I cultivate who Sara Harvey is, and how can I call that forward in a way that's true for me, because that's when ease of leadership actually occurs, when you're being more of yourself, you're appreciating what it is that you have to offer, you're cultivating that you're you're nurturing it, then things start flowing a lot easier. So where I go, so my business roots into kind of three pillars. So one is mindfulness and meditation, that's one pillar. The second pillar is Mind Body health. So how to stay balanced physiologically. And then the third pillar is gallop strengths. So how to take your talents and turn them into strengths. So those are sort of where I go, but we look at you know, when we do when I do coaching and team trainings, we I try to build in some Mind Body practices. So we'll build in some breath awareness, or will build in a mindfulness or a mind body scan, or just just kind of the taste of to help business leaders begin to realize that first you got to you got to go inside, you got to like check in with yourself and what you have going on inside and harness that cultivate that, whether it's your gut instinct, or heart centered leadership, or finding your voice, using your talents, managing your thoughts, those are all the resources that you have inside of you in that that will be in contribution to your leadership. So that's what I think
Jennifer Malcolm:I love it. Because I through this launch of the podcast and the Jennasis Movement, it is easy. And it's fun, because I feel like it's coming through my heart, my soul, my mind, my spirit. Yes, it's still work. But there's so much joy, there's so much that that comes out from ideas and creation, from the flow of it versus let me sit down and do a brainstorming hardcore session and put sticky notes all over the wall and see what what what emerges from that. And yes, it's benefits to all of the tactics that we use in business and, and moving our stuff forward. But the flow is beautiful. And I had opportunity to do the Gallup strength test with you, Sam Camden did as well. And it just, it's amazing to see yourself emerge from that. So describe a little bit more of that tool. Because all of us have taken all sorts of different tools as leaders and throughout college in our careers. But what why does this one really speak out to you?
Sara Harvey:So first of all Gallup strengths is rooted in positive psychology and one of my top talents is positivity, so that there's an alignment right there. But yeah, it's rooted in the fact that we should really be focusing on what's right with people, rather than what's wrong with them. And so it's, it's a tool that helps you find the answers as to why you do what you do, why you love what you love, what gives you energy, what depletes you. So it really helps you to understand how it is that you in particular move through the world and why it is that you move that way. So you get kind of a rank order list of 34 talent themes. And those are just neutral talent themes. And what you want to do is say, Okay, this is what I'm naturally good at, right? This is me, this is in my DNA, right? I don't have to work that hard for this. It's probably pouring out of my pores right now. So how do I take those natural talents and amplify those? How do I refine those? How do I aim those natural talents at a goal so that they become my great strengths. So it's really, like if you think about we do a little, a little exercise in many of my team trainings where I'll have the the attendees, write a sentence with their dominant hand. So if they're right handed, they write it with their right hand three, three times. And then I have them switch over to their left hand. And they write it three times their non dominant hand, they write it three times. And we talk about, what's the difference? What's the difference between those two sides? Right? Well, the side with my non dominant hand, looks messy, it was harder, it took me longer. That's the equivalent of trying to be somebody else. And when if you look at the dominant hand, right, it was it, you could do it quickly. There was flow, it looks good. You could actually make it better pretty easily just by slowing down a tiny bit. Right? And so that's the equivalent using your talents. Hmm.
Jennifer Malcolm:I love it with it. Yeah, because, you know, we were taught of like, right, find your weaknesses, and then take training on them. And don't be weak in these areas. And it's the exact opposite methodology of right, find someone on your team that has that has it you my weakness is their strength? Yes, they're going in there flow. But I love that exercise of a very simple tactile, tactile, and visual motor, you know, I'm seeing that and then seeing the flow of one, the creativity, one, the ease of one, and how much you have to concentrate. That's awesome. So what are your plans moving forward? With your business? I know we're coming years have you had this now, a
Sara Harvey:year and a half. So it hasn't even been that long yet. But it's been so inspiring, and I very much feel you were talking about the Jennasis podcast and how, you know, it feels great. And you feel like you're in flow. And I feel the same way with my career now. And we can represent or we would say you were you are in Dharma, right? Or you are, you're working on purpose, like, you know, you were meant to do this. And so it just feels right. So I very much feel that I'm on purpose, doing what I should be doing and doing what I'm supposed to be doing. So that is what keeps me motivated and and excited about what I'm doing. A couple of things I have going forward is I'm going to be testing a subscription model in August, August or September. So I'm going to go out with what I call guided insights. And they're, they're short, maybe three, four minute insights for business leaders, especially for those people who don't have a lot of time, for extensive personal development. They're really great, quick, quick hit nuggets of wisdom for business leaders. So that's in development right now. So I'm excited to see that come to fruition. I'm also working with an organization out of Cleveland called authentic up. And we are co creating a women's leader workshop, October 1. So we are hoping to do it live, we're setting every intention that we can do it live, the universe will probably get to make decisions on that. But if we don't have an intention, then for sure it won't happen. So we we are intending to bring together a group of women to finally be able to reconnect with each other. Of course, we'll be doing that with safety mechanisms in place and everything that creates a responsible event. So excited about that on October 1. And other than that, I've been just doing a lot of team trainings for Gallup strengths. And now everything's digital, right? So I used to do a lot of live team trainings, I'm doing all digital team trainings. Now. I have a beautiful kind of six hour package that I've put together that really helps business leaders deepened into their strengths and their sense of mindfulness and self awareness. So that going so long, a lot of good things that I'm really excited about. And so I'm all I'm a builder right now is what I call myself a builder.
Jennifer Malcolm:And I love that I met you in San Diego, five or six years ago at the Authentica event. Yeah, that' where there was. You spoke a that event. I first authenti event and there was a not a many females in the room and s you kind of gravitate You know when we're hiking an experiencing so I gravitate towards you that weekend, an really was honored to meet you And honestly, I had never hear of you. So it was one of thos like, very cool. I'm just tryin to find a female companion t hang out with for the weekend And just how through the years through different trips different conversations, on ou DCU your journey as well a you've been so impactful. M life in pivotal times and i highs and lows, very much woman of wisdom, an encouragement and insight. An that's been just a beautifu journey. So I can't wait to be part of the October event her in Cleveland, and hopefully hopefully, hopefully live. An we'll see what the univers unfolds, there is what story o you and I last fall. And you Yo gave a powerful, you're givin me some encouragement, som insight for some things that was walking through. But yo gave a really great example of shield and this light aroun you. And I wanted to take a fe moments for, I think it's jus an easy practice is one of th things that I've come, it's com back to my memory over the las 6789 months, and simple tools t help protect our hearts and t put boundaries up. So can yo explain that to the audience
Sara Harvey:Yeah. So I came up here and in the development and spiritual development realm, you're around a few different luminaries, you know, so one of the luminaries was our co founder, Dr. Simon, who passed away, Debbie Ford was another luminary in the Shadow Work Wayne Dyer. Right. And, and they've all passed, and they passed, honestly, pretty young, unfortunately. And all of them were were teachers, right. And so they were taking in the stories of everyone, the stories of everyone taking it in taking being being deep passionate listeners, right, and holding space for stories of tragedy, stories of, of pain, all kinds of stories, right. And I think that it is critically important for, for anyone, for business leaders, for moms, for anybody who's in a personal development space, to, to be able to hold that space for people in their lives, and to be that listener, but at the same time to not take on, you know, whatever it is that that person is going through, you cannot take that on. And so what I have kind of chosen to do is to put this kind of theoret, theoretical white light around me. All right, so it's just like a, like, you could call it a shield, but it's, it's it's gentler than a shield, I would say really, because it allows in but it doesn't absorb. Okay, and absorbed by absorb I mean, whatever is shared doesn't settle in my physiology. Sure, right. I hear it, I have compassion for it. But I have empathy for it. But it doesn't, and I can and I can advise and I can support and I can hold space for that. But it doesn't become my pain, it doesn't become my suffering, it doesn't become, you know, my toxicity. And so we as leaders have to be able to allow those conversations to occur, right, we have to be a part of those conversations. But if we want to impact and we want to continue to build our leadership and to support and serve the world in a big way, then we have to have this kind of white light around us that is, it's a light of love. It's a light of protection, it's a light of warmth, it's a light of acceptance, is what I would what I would say about it, right? So it's not a barrier, you know, against, but actually it's just a it's just to keep things where they need to stay is what I would say and, and at the same time to be able to help people move forward, let go and heal and come to be more of who they're meant to be in their most natural state. Right. So,
Jennifer Malcolm:is this the same bubble you would use for someone? So this is a coaching space or people around you that may be more antagonistic towards you or someone that is opposing you? Is that the same where you can you can demonstrate compassion and listening hurt or the different level of safety, emotional, you know, emotional safety from those who may be more combative towards you?
Sara Harvey:Great question, right? Because, you know, that comes right up to my face. So it's the same light, okay? It's the same sense of protection around combative people. The awareness you want to have is that the light is not about avoiding. The light is not about like, I can't have that conversation right or you're bad and I'm good. That's not what that light is saying at all right? You know, I still have to have the courage to go in and have the conversation to go in and say the unset to go in and face what I need to face, I still need to do that, right. But I want to do that, while I keep my physiology, right in a state of health and balance home homeostasis. And, and because I need to go on and I need to serve, I need to serve my kids, I need to serve my my job, my world, everything so. So it is the same light, but don't let it be. Right The reason it's like, oh, I'm, that's my way to avoid you, or that's my way to deny or push away. It's not like that,
Jennifer Malcolm:which goes back to the very beginning of our conversation today about having the courage to break into those hard conversations. And to be open to that. And walking through some of that with my husband, my husband and I are walking through that right now with some people that we never thought there could be healing like that, that kind of like that. That are you're on that side, we're on this side. And when you do protect yourself, and you are just sharing your truth, your courage, your voice, your your thoughts, and or opinions that may be right or wrong, how much it disseminates and dissolves animosity, or anger, or and it's not perfect, but there is a bridge of ha, I never expected that this type of communication could occur. I never expected that there might be laughter or interaction in a positive manner with you know, these people, and has been beautiful. And so there's so much over very directly from you over the last several years. And some just from, you know, taking it back and just really letting it marinate in my heart and soul and wanting that goodness and healing of my journey to bring that positivity forward. And who knows what comes from it.
Sara Harvey:Yeah, and I think having you know, having the qualities of patience is a really important thing. Because when you're when you're integrating in new ways of being you have to be patient. Right? Because it's almost like a practice that you have to call into your life. And then call it in again and call it in again. Right? Because it's it's different, right then then your norm, it's different than what you've been doing. And so there has to be a really heightened sense of awareness around this new way of being, and to go in and practice it and know that it needs to be refined over time, right and brain and it needs to come to life. So I say consider it a journey, really, because that's what it is. It's these these ways of being that serve not only ourselves, but those around us. Our lifelong journeys,
Jennifer Malcolm:love it. And I'm finding as I'm practicing this, finding those in a community who also practice this type of belief, or this type of work is a catalyst for me, it was almost like one in one make Fallout four, instead of one on one makes you like there. It's that growth of healing and positive, you know, podcast and listen to our books I read or, or things that I you know, fill my tank with help, you know, really act as a catalyst moving that forward. My next question to you, is there a duty to keep her tank full? What do you do to you're giving? You're poaching, you're encouraging, you're equipping. So what do you do, you know, to keep your tankful.
Sara Harvey:So to keep my tank full, I have to think about myself as as having multiple layers. So it's not just about settling the mind down. It's about settling the body down. It's about connecting to spirit. So I try to really say, okay, where am I feeling some kind of imbalance? Is it in my mind? Is it in my my body? Is it in my heart, where where is what needs my attention? And so, so first identify that, right, because sometimes, my body feels sluggish, maybe toxic, maybe I'm holding on to some weight. So what I know I need to do is go get in a swimming pool and start swimming. Because that's my exercise of choice. That's what I love it. I get into the zone when I swim, but I get into the flow state. And I just feel better physically. So that's one method I used. second method is, if it's my heart feels kind of pained or wounded or depleted even. I journal in my gratitude journal, right? I write in my gratitude journal. I essentially When I go back, and I look, and I read over what I've been grateful for, in a long period of time, like over a year, most of it is about the people in my life. Well, it's not about the things that I've accumulated. It's not about titles, roles, MBAs, it's not, it's about the people in my life. And that is such a big reminder to make time for the people in your life make time, because they're precious. So that's the second. Third is just finding space or time to meditate a little bit every day, even if it's just five minutes, like find some time to be still. And very difficult, right? Very difficult. And we got a lot of great excuses lined up. But that quietness, that stillness is a big source of creativity for me. So when I feel stuck, when I feel like I don't know what to do, where to go, just stopping and sitting with myself and being quiet, and then listening for answers.
Jennifer Malcolm:I love it. I love the way you said, to pay attention to those three quadrant or three parts, because maybe not all need the same amount of attention. It's like when your house is dirty, maybe it's just a bathroom that needs cleaned, and everything else is fine. And so being very aware to say like, Hey, I may not need all three of these every day, seven days a week. But today, this is the one that's really going to impact me because it's been neglected, or I'm feeling I'm feeling that stretch or that pain there. So I love that perspective. Because I feel like we put on us, I need to meditate every day. I need to exercise every day. I need to journal every day, I need to work every day, I need to be present every day. And then it's like, okay, something has to give and to be aware of maybe it's a little bit of those every day but maybe it's just finding that right balance of eight today the currency dusted and I'm going to dust the shelves and and being very aware to breathe life into those areas that need a little bit more.
Sara Harvey:Yeah, it goes. It goes back to intelligence, right and went and going and looking inside and seeing what's going on in here that feels right and what's going on in here that doesn't feel right, whether it's here, here in my body, my heart and my soul in my visit, my gut is my gut out of out of whack. Right? So we, we we just teach people to go inside and become really acutely aware of that,
Jennifer Malcolm:which a lot of us don't have like we're not we're not being cognizant to go in. We're being we're being very cognizant to do this. You perform? Yes, Cognizant to Okay, let's first go in, because that's where the beauty will come out. And the flow, the flow really comes out? Yeah, that's where the wisdom resides. That's all the wisdom you need resides inside? That's so good, believe it or not? So are you willing to take the risk and go in and find out? What is the key takeaway, or some closing remarks for our listeners,
Sara Harvey:I would say the, the thing I want to leave the listeners with is to be a lifelong learner, and an explorer of self. So that you can call out who you really are at a soul level. Because that's the you that everybody really wants to know.
Jennifer Malcolm:I love it. So thank you, thank you, thank you so much for being here. It's so good to see, I know, our listeners are gonna hear the podcast. But I'm with Sara and seeing seeing you and being here together and so honored to call you my friend. So I for the years of just community and joy and laughter and experience that you and I have had the opportunity to share. And really, really love you. So thank you so much for being here.
Sara Harvey:Thank you, Jenn. I love you too. And I know the listeners can't see us. But I do want to call out that. I'm in San Diego, Jen's in Cleveland. And just seeing you here on zoom. What I'll say is that your face is shining bright. You look like you're filled with energy, your eyes are bright. And so I You don't have to tell me you're in Dharma or living on purpose. I can see it in your face. So that makes me really happy and I'm so happy to support you in all of your endeavors and, and hopefully give some support to all the women out there that are listening.
Jennifer Malcolm:I love it. So thank you so much. And everyone here Have a great day. We love you. We can't wait to share this story with you and the takeaway. Every woman has a story and every story matters and we can't wait for you to hear this episode. And stay tuned by. Subscribe to the Jennasis Movement to empower women's voices and reclaim the power over your own narrative.