PeaceWorld threefold toilet (four) training

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1106222/13366779

LEARNER full text (2024)

PeaceWorld or death

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1106222/13381922

APPRENTI texte integral (2024)

Le monde paisible ou la mort

Transcript

WORLD WAR COVID

From WeaponWorld to PeaceWorld

Learner, begin

PeaceWorld Threefold, four, Toilet Training

Most of us as children were potty-trained wrong and prayer-trained wrong. Try these methods instead: 

Let’s begin with the fourth fold:

Half the stupidity on Earth is due to dehydration and sleep deprivation. They need to be treated as epidemics then pandemics as they spread through violence firestorms; treated as world public health problems to be addressed person to person (clean water bars, curbside local mediation)  as first priorities.

So stay hydrated and get enough sleep, please my beloved Learners and those in your care. 

1)    Men -- and women, maybe? -- take a piss wrong.  

Men are taught to take a piss by standing in front of a toilet that was designed to be shit into. Men are supposed stand up, aim their piss stream by hand, and pressurize it diagonally into the toilet bowl. 

They almost always miss; some piss goes astray outside the toilet bowl, on the floor, on the walls or on skin, clothing and shoes. 

With old age, some piss remains in the urinary tract after the piss stream has stopped, say 5% of the original piss stream’s volume for a second, delayed piss stream, then another 5% release, as drops go weeping into clothes, or get shaken off and go astray.

Usually women must clean up afterwards, resentful of eternally sloppy men.  In Germany, I hear men are trained to piss sitting down. That bends the urinary tract off true and makes pissing less complete and more problematic.

The solution perhaps, for men and for women? The half Eifel Tower posture. Imagine the Eifel Tower sawn down the middle from top to bottom. You are left with two half towers, each with two legs and full height. Pretend they stand upright without shedding too many beams. Pretend your body is one of those halves.

Stand in front of the toilet with one leg on each side if possible. Now, perhaps on tip toe with heals off the floor, lean forward standing tall, until your raised arm and hand (the top antenna of the tower) prop up your body on the wall behind the toilet.

Instead of this leaning Eifel Tower’s first floor, you have your urinary exit. As your body leans over the toilet bowl, you can line it up with the center of the bowl. It is just above the center of the bowl pointed straight down; your bladder and urinary tract are directly above that. That lets piss drain down  by pure gravity for a relaxed release.

 If you want, you can pull your shoulders back and flex your spine like a bow, extending your belly and exit  as far out as possible from clothing. No aiming, just stay centered down the bowl; no pressuring the piss except with your flexed spine and gravity. Piss falls straight down with little or no deviation, offset or splash. Far shorter delays of flow.

When I was young, I was either pressurized or empty. Pressurized? Empty. Rinse, repeat.

Now I’m old, my urinary tract weeps instead of simply filling up  and emptying.

Using gravity is cleaner overall.

Stay hydrated and get enough sleep. 

2) People take a shit wrong. They are taught to sit on the toilet and wait for the shit to negotiate a J-curve out the anus instead of releasing straight down. The sitting posture causes the J-curve in the anus, that makes shitting more difficult than it need be. Human anatomy was designed to squat and shit straight down with no J-curve, again just using gravity. Releasing that way is much easier.

To imitate that squatting position, use a cheap, folding step stool one foot high, that you can find in a household goods store. When you sit on the toilet, put the step stool in front of the toilet and place your feet on it. This raises your knees, it changes the angle of the anus so that it opens straight down without the J-curve, letting you relax and release by pure gravity. No forcing, less waiting, and a cleaner release in most cases. Fold the step stool off to the side when done.

Of course, a bidet is a Godsend. No more sitting on a dirty butt all day long. You’ll be surprised how much you miss a bidet when you use another toilet without one.

3) People pray wrong. In the Books of Matthew and Luke, Jesus gave specific instruction how to pray. All the other forms of  religious practice (besides just being kind – see the Sermon on the Mount)  are just monkey-say, monkey-do make-believe; especially the elaborate, supervised and institutional forms of behavior modification. Just noise. 

Don’t pray in public, in churches or on the street. Don’t be seen to pray. Don’t use vain repetition. Don’t ask for specific things or events. Instead, Jesus instructs us to shut oneself in a closet, alone with God as much as possible, and pray the Lord’s Prayer to God, just the two of you in the best privacy you can manage. 

Now, a Year Zero Palestinian peasant only had one kind of closet (not our ridiculous, en suite clothing depots). No, the only kind they know, they go into alone to relieve themselves, with the utmost privacy possible. 

There, while going to the bathroom normally, you should  pray to God the Lord’s Prayer as Jesus instructed. Then go about your business. You’ve done everything you needed to do, both relief-wise and religion-wise. 

We make the only religious commitment Jesus expects of us. We fully express our naïve faith in God, the way the thief Dismas did on his cross besides Jesus. Jesus promised Dismas they would both be in Paradise that very evening. Just like that: naïve faith and miracle. Expect God to respond to your dutiful Lord’s Prayer equally favorably, in ways you could not imagine much less ask for specifically. Carry on with any religious ceremonies you and your community expect of you; you have already spoken directly to God anyway. 

There is great daily comfort in that alone. Every day you pray that way, you are under the protection of God.

This should be standard PeaceWorld potty training for Learner children. Replace the WeaponWorld practices we were taught. 

If billions more humans prayed exactly as Jesus taught, what world transformations by miracle might arise?  If you need proof of God’s existence, this would be the best method to look and see.

PeaceWorld or death 

IN FRENCH

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COMMENT?  markmulligan@comcast.net