Anna Uzele: Finding Faith in Following Your Heart

My next guest is a Congolese Puerto Rican artist Anna Uzele who co-costarred in the Apple TV+ series Dear Edward, alongside Connie Britton and Taylor Schilling, and recently starred on Broadway as Francine in the Kander & Ebb Broadway musical New York New York. Previously, she originated the role of Cartherine Parr in the North American tour and Broadway debut of SIX. 

 Anna Uzele, is an artist whose journey is a testament to the complexity of maintaining one's identity amidst the expectations of faith and the pressures of a highly demanding career. Our conversation, sheds light on the topics of balancing personal beliefs with professional aspirations, the critical role of self-care in the entertainment industry, and the profound search for authenticity in one's work.

The discussion begins with Anna's upbringing in an evangelical Christian family and how her homeschooling years shaped her initial understanding of the world. Homeschooled until the eighth grade, Anna was then exposed to the vibrant diversity of a performing arts high school, which marked a significant transition in her life. The stark contrast between her religious upbringing and the liberal environment of the arts school laid the foundation for an ongoing exploration of self. This duality of her life, caught between the tenets of faith and the lure of the stage, presented challenges and opportunities that would deeply influence her career choices and personal growth.

Self-care emerges as a prominent theme in our dialogue. Anna shares personal anecdotes about the demanding nature of Broadway and the toll it can take on an artist's physical and emotional well-being. The need to recognize and address the signs of burnout, to implement strategies that support one's mental and physical health, and to sometimes take a step back from the relentless pursuit of success 

Transcript

Lisa Hopkins: 0:01

This is the Stop Time podcast. I'm your host, lisa Hopkins, and I'm here to engage you in thought-provoking, motivational conversations around practicing the art of living in the moment. I'm a certified life coach and I'm excited to dig deep and offer insights into embracing who we are and where we are at. So my next guest is Congolese. Puerto Rican artist from Delaware. She co-stars in the Apple TV series Dear Edward, alongside Connie Britton and Taylor Schilling, and recently starred as Francine in the Candor and Ebb Broadway musical New York, new York. Previously, she originated the role of Catherine Parr in the North American tour and Broadway debut of Sixth, and when she isn't playing dress-up, she's in Brooklyn with her husband writing love songs to her dog. I am so looking forward to getting to know and to introducing you all to Anna Uzale. Welcome, anna.

Anna Uzele: 1:05

Hello.

Lisa Hopkins: 1:06

Hi, how are you? It's so nice to meet you.

Anna Uzele: 1:09

So good to meet you. Thank you for having me so generous of you.

Lisa Hopkins: 1:14

It's my pleasure. I'm so glad that you were able to do it. So where are you calling in from today? Just to give us a context.

Anna Uzele: 1:22

I'm in Brooklyn. I'm at home with my dog on the floor next to me.

Lisa Hopkins: 1:25

Nice, have you been home for a while, or what's going on with your vibe?

Anna Uzele: 1:31

I have. I'm finding myself right now while we're in a literal winter time if you're in New York City, I feel like I'm in an energetic winter time sort of was just in a couple of big shows and then they fell apart and are no longer. That's just how this industry works, and so I've sort of been chilling out and taking things slow and not worrying about producing anything at the moment, which has been really lovely. But yeah, I've been, I've been home quite a bit.

Lisa Hopkins: 2:05

I love that you refer to your profession as playing dress up. I think that's lovely. It's lovely.

Anna Uzele: 2:11

Right. It's something that another actor said to me one time. We were in the midst of tech and everyone was really stressed out and really tired and I went up to one of them and I said how are you doing? And he goes. You know, I can't complain. I'm playing dress up and I'm good at it. I do it. And I was like you know what You're right.

Lisa Hopkins: 2:28

Thank you. Yeah, absolutely Well. Do you remember, like, when was the earliest inkling that you like to do this? That you, you know, did you play dress up as a little kid?

Anna Uzele: 2:38

I did. My mom had this giant dress up box, and I was also homeschooled, and so there was a lot of pretending and make believe and just following our curiosities at home, and art of all kinds was a part of the household. My father is a musician and my mother can paint or draw anything and make it look like a photograph. So there was always there was always artists surrounding me. No one was a performer, really no one was acting of any kind, but they all appreciated that art form, and so you put on silly little plays with your friends on the dining room table and made up tall tales and reenacted them. So there's always that going on of course that's amazing.

Lisa Hopkins: 3:23

Do you have siblings or you only child?

Anna Uzele: 3:26

Yeah, I mean all this is three and I have a younger brother or younger sister.

Lisa Hopkins: 3:30

Oh cool, and did you find that when you were growing up that you know as the first? Sometimes there's well, it's the first for the parents too, right? So was there kind of an inherent kind of like ease that came along after you Like or you know? How did that dynamic work?

Anna Uzele: 3:46

I think so To sort of color this. Not only was I homeschooled and was it not only an artistic environment, but my family was evangelical Christians, and I still are, and so it was also very religious at the same time, and so I think I got the strictest, the strictest version of my parents, because suddenly they have this kid and they don't want to mess her up and they have this idea of who they would like her to be in the world to be a good person. And so, you know, parents always go into parenthood with like grand plans on how they're going to do things. And so you are.

Anna Uzele: 4:22

I really was the guinea pig in so many ways, and then I think the way it played out was that I just grew up really fast. I had younger siblings. My mom went through, I think now in hindsight I believe it was really intense postpartum depression, and so there were times in which she wasn't able to mother in the way that she wanted to, and so I have these like really, really fun memories of like just being curious and learning about bugs and learning about Greek mythology and all of this stuff. And then there's like the rigidity of the religion, and then there's like, ok, now. Anna's the mom now and she needs to like make breakfast, lunch and dinner for the family and things like that. So there's a lot of different colors there.

Lisa Hopkins: 5:07

Yeah, so did you homeschool all the way through, like through high school as well?

Anna Uzele: 5:12

No, I did this really crazy thing where I was homeschooled all the way up until eighth grade, only had friends that were from church, only listened to Christian music, only watched like approved things on the TV, and then suddenly I went to a performing arts high school and it was like night and day and I met gay people for the first time and I heard the F bomb for the first time in real life and it blew my mind and I didn't know what to do. And so it was this wild transition and it was. It was a really big deal for my family and my community to let me do that, and I wanted to sing and dance and they're like OK, we're going to let you go to a secular school. And there was this, this verse that they would speak over me, and I can't remember what it was exactly, but they were like we need you to be as wise as a snake and as innocent as a dove. And that's what they would say over me before I went into this environment, because they didn't want it to ruin me and they didn't want it to take away my faith and any capacity.

Anna Uzele: 6:18

But all all I did was just fall in love with people. I think I was exposed to human beings that finally thought differently than me, and I was confronted with that, and then I also realized that I loved them at the same time, and so then there, there was this cognitive dissonance that began to arise. It was really baby and small at that point in time, so it was just like, wow, I love these people and I thought you were going to burn in hell and there's something in me that says I don't like that. But that was all. That was all that happened in high school, and then, of course, later things start to unravel. Thank you for sharing that.

Lisa Hopkins: 6:54

Yeah, no, I really appreciate that. I think it's really important for people to hear this, because when we're brought up by our parents, who are always well-meaning, no matter what, I mean no matter how bad we think right or good or bad or whatever. As humans, I really believe my belief system is that we do the very best we can.

Anna Uzele: 7:14

We all do, even for our best to shit.

Lisa Hopkins: 7:16

It's our best, exactly Right, and and our best also doesn't always look the same you know I'm always saying to my clients it does not always look the same, like that's where we get again. You mentioned the cognitive dissonance. Like we can get really messed up in our heads when, when we can't be our best, because we're holding our best as what we did yesterday, last night, last show, last break.

Anna Uzele: 7:41

Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally Great, and I think that's why I like partly fell in love with theater. Yeah, it was a lovely art form and I appreciated it, but I liked a lot of things. I, you know, played sports and did gymnastics. There was a lot of things that I thought were fun, theater just being one of them. But it was specifically the people with which I got to connect with in theater and part of me wonders, like, do I even really like musical theater, or am I just good at it and did I make it a point to stay around? Those people, like, what was it that made me pursue it? And I think the people had a bit more to do with it than the art form.

Lisa Hopkins: 8:19

Yeah, but that's a great kind of exploration, right? Yeah, I mean, we're talking about your why, which is so key, and, yes, you are extraordinarily gifted and I was going to actually ask you about that is. I'm curious to know if it's okay if I ask and you can let me know. But yeah, I'm curious to know, like, if your family, what helped them release you into you, know this heathen world or the heathen profession, was that they had to acknowledge that you were given a gift from God.

Anna Uzele: 8:50

If you want, yes, yes, and I think they were. They were fully aware of it from the time I was a little kid, because I would be getting up on tables and like performing little made up songs or reenacting entire scenes from Fiddler on the Roof or the Sound of Music or my Fair Lady or whatever G rated musical I was allowed to watch at that time. I think they knew from a very early age that if they let me, I could go do extraordinary things at a really young age. But they also knew that they wanted to preserve my childhood and so, while I was doing a lot, I also have a lot of memories of them saying no. There were a lot of times where I would be like I really want to do this thing and for no reason at all. The answer would just be no and I would just have to sit with that.

Anna Uzele: 9:41

I think they were a bit afraid of what it could do to a child and I think they knew that at some point I was going to grow into an adult and I was going to make my own choices anyway and that's what I wanted to do. Wonderful, but they were at least going to slow it down while I was younger, in the hopes of me just having a childhood. Yeah, yeah, yeah, which I appreciate now. Actually, it was annoying at the time. Now I'm sort of like yeah, I think there would have been more of a stunting that occurred and it's really important for kids to be kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Lisa Hopkins: 10:16

I think I Kasurie also knew that, so she ignored it but she learnt a lot and she was telling it to me every year that she taught herself what it is. I love that you just had an insight.

Anna Uzele: 10:21

It's like yeah, yeah, because I remember being really mad about it. I was just like, oh, but I'm good at this and I love it. And there was a moment where my dad sat me down and I said something about Broadway and how it sounded fun and I don't necessarily know what he meant, but the way I took it was you have to choose one or the other. And he said that Anna is Broadway or the narrow way, as if either you go on Broadway or you lead this life that God wants you to lead, and so it sort of implanted in me like God might not want Broadway for you because it's grand and it's flashy and things like that, which I don't believe to be true, and I think there are plenty of Christians on Broadway that also love God and that also works out fine for them. But I received that message pretty loud and clear as a kid that there was something about Broadway that would take me away from God.

Lisa Hopkins: 11:21

It sounds like, but I don't know. I'd love it if you clarified. It sounds like there was a point at which you in the beginning at least that you just accepted it. Right, you accepted that that was the decision. You didn't really question much. Is that right? Am I hearing that correctly?

Anna Uzele: 11:36

Yeah, I think obedience was one of the highest virtues in the community that I was raised in and I wanted to be the most virtuous person ever. I was good at everything. I was good at sports, I was good at singing, I was good at dancing and I was really good at being a Christian daughter and that was really really important to me. And so, while it was frustrating and difficult at times, obedience was looked at as this really really virtuous quality which now I look back and I'm like why is obedience looked up to? Like what are they trying to create? Little robots who can't think for themselves? But at that point in time I felt really good that, even though I was sad about their decisions, god was happy because Anna obeyed her parents and so having this third figure, that you're raised with, this belief in a God pleasing God, was everything.

Anna Uzele: 12:37

Yeah, I couldn't think of anything higher than that, and the only way to know if God was happy with you is if your parents told you so, and so you just inherently trust them in all ways, as children do. So, yeah, there was frustration there, for sure, but I was more interested in pleasing God.

Lisa Hopkins: 12:59

Yeah, that's super interesting. And again, I don't want to project, but was it a trusting God or pleasing God?

Anna Uzele: 13:07

I would say a pleasing God. I think trust comes in a little bit later, but just to get the thumbs up from Big Daddy in the sky, it was everything.

Lisa Hopkins: 13:18

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense and actually that could be a real big comfort. I mean, I was not raised that way, but I can see from where I'm sitting how that in some ways could be a comfort, right.

Anna Uzele: 13:29

Absolutely yeah, and I also think that I was also this little, I don't know golden child in a way. I just did everything right and so I sort of became addicted to praise and approval and I think I kind of became a bit of a junkie for it, and I believe I lost myself along the way and in realizing that the entire identity I had built for myself was one in which was supposed to make mom and dad and God proud, and not really knowing if I was even proud. But in the beginning you're like so long as I can please him, there's nothing more you can ask for.

Lisa Hopkins: 14:08

Yeah. Wow yeah everything's answered right If you do that. Yeah, you can.

Anna Uzele: 14:13

There's so much security in just telling yourself that you know everything. It just feels so good. There were no questions, there was no nebulous gray area, it was just black and white and clear and simple and it really helped you sleep at night, yeah.

Lisa Hopkins: 14:28

Where did you begin to break away from that?

Anna Uzele: 14:32

It was all very careful and it was all very gradual. Not only was it your family, but it was also the church community. It was so, so active in the church, and that's where I grew up singing, and my father was also a pastor, and so I was a pastor's daughter, and so there was just always eyes on me and always eyes on my family, and my father would even say to me there are things that we can't do, that other families and other little girls can do, because we have to remain above reproach. And so I believe the awakening it happened so gradually because I still really cared what everybody thought about me, and so I really really needed to maintain this shiny exterior and I just became a really, really secretive person. My rebellion was so, so secretive. I never really dated ever in high school, not even never really. I did not date in high school because, god forbid, I am perceived as too flirtatious or anything like that. I wanted to be this chaste Christian woman, and so if I did have a relationship, my parents never found out about it and it was completely in secret. And then if I went through a breakup, they would never find out about it and it was completely in secret, and so I just felt like I began to lead a second life almost, and the person I showed up as in secular settings, was a completely different, freer human being than the one that showed up to church on Sunday morning or came to the breakfast table. So it began in high school and then I did it in college. I went to study musical theater and so I got to be around all of these wonderful people for four more years and I was in Texas and so I wasn't constantly having to go back to the church. That was reminding me who I needed to be.

Anna Uzele: 16:33

It was definitely a really, really low point. It was leaving point A and not knowing if point B existed, but knowing that point A was not right anymore, and choosing to sort of be confused and just in the nebulous. And for a while I was just like I don't even know if there's a God. I don't. I don't know if I believe in a God. All I know is that love is real, and for a while that was what I went with. It's just like the only thing true is love, and it was deeply, deeply uncomfortable. I'll come back to universal truths about us wanting to know why we're here and where we belong.

Lisa Hopkins: 17:13

Exactly this morning I watched a clip of you singing and the world goes around on Stephen Colbert and I was so struck by your incredible calm and your incredible power. Now that we've been talking, it kind of makes sense to me actually, but it does really stand out. You're incredibly deep, calm and powerful, your essence. I was like like it's almost like effortless, first of all, the way you do it, but to me it's coming from another place and it really speaks to who you are. Can you speak? Can you respond to that? I don't know, maybe that's a lot.

Anna Uzele: 17:57

I love that you use the word calm, because that was a goal of mine when I entered the New York New York journey. I think with every project we do, we learn a little bit better how to take care of ourselves. For the next one, and I left Sixth and Musical in a really, really deplete state. I left like next time I do the Broadway thing, I'm gonna do it different. And I have to figure out how I'm gonna do it different, because the way I feel right now is so shitty and I don't wanna feel that way anymore and I'm not having fun. I'm not having fun singing and dancing, and that's a big red flag because like we're on a floating rock and we're playing, pretend like this should be fun. And one of the things that I did in Sixth is that I said yes to everything and I didn't say no to a single thing, and it was such a great opportunity and so many people would have loved to be in my shoes and would kill to be where I am right now. So I said just say yes to everything. And so I did and I burned myself out really, really hard and I ruined my voice in a lot of ways too. I went to the ENT and they were like we have some problems here. And so when New York, new York, started, I was like I need to be bigger than this experience. This experience cannot be bigger than me, it cannot overpower me, it cannot run me ragged, it does not have permission. And I made a promise to my body that I was gonna take care of it, because my body had sort of stopped trusting me because Anna just kept saying yes to everything. And so my body and my voice were like wait, hold on. Did you check in with me to see if I was able?

Anna Uzele: 19:41

And so something I really desired was that for opening night and for first preview, that I would be calm, because I knew if I wasn't calm, I wouldn't be able to be vulnerable, I wouldn't be able to like be honest in the moment or do any of those things. And I was like how do I make sure that when people are screaming at me and there's folks in tuxedos expecting me to impress them, how do I make sure that I don't freak out? Because when your body's in fight or flight, you're a completely different species at that point in time, like you can't sing, you can't breathe, you're sweating everywhere. And so I was like, okay, I need to regulate my nervous system.

Anna Uzele: 20:22

This is a really long-winded way of answering your question but I started cold plunging every week because I wanted to teach my body how to maintain a homeostasis in the face of something that would otherwise cause it to go into fire flight. And I was like maybe I can practice like giving it little doses of not feeling safe and then telling it it's safe anyway. So I started doing that every single week leading up to opening. It was really wonderful because I got to enjoy everything, like every special moment, like nothing was overwhelming, everything was just fun and nothing was too big for me to handle and I felt like I could walk into every moment, just peacefully and calmly delivering whatever it was that was asked of me. So I love that you received that, because that was something that was important to me.

Lisa Hopkins: 21:11

And you have that quality. You have that quality on screen too. I know that I think I read somewhere was that your first TV film thing that you did for Dear Edward it was my first series regular.

Anna Uzele: 21:24

I had done like a little episodic things sprinkled throughout in the past, but yeah, that was my first big girl TV job.

Lisa Hopkins: 21:31

Yeah, and what's your? What do you feel about it? Do you feel like, do you have a sense of where you like to put your energy, or I found afterwards that I need both.

Anna Uzele: 21:43

I left the Dear Edward experience being like, wow, I was paid so well and I was treated so well, but wow, I'm bored. Only because it's such a slow process shooting. You're sitting in a trailer and then you're shooting these like tiny, tiny little snippets and you're not with, you're not present with your audience. I think there's nothing like being with the people that are receiving your performance, and getting to calibrate your energy to the energy of the room is so special. You feel like an alchemist in the moment.

Anna Uzele: 22:21

You're like okay, every single eye is on me in the middle of the stage and I am gonna be a mirror and I mean I shoot it back out to you. And that's so fun and special to have a thousand people's energies with you until it gets ahold of that. There's nothing quite like that. But then it's really, really easy to get burned out. On Broadway it's kind of like the trenches You're doing eight shows a week, you're running on fumes, you're sputtering half the time. So I think from Dear Edward I learned that I work really well in cycles and it would be wonderful to have a lifestyle where I could go back and forth.

Lisa Hopkins: 22:58

Yeah, I asked you on the form before we met. I asked you what, if you think, what, if anything, do you think stands between you and who you wanna be? And you said the desire for approval, the pressure to hustle. Now it's a little bit about what we were speaking about.

Anna Uzele: 23:15

But tell me a little more yeah.

Anna Uzele: 23:18

I feel the first one, the desire for approval, is the one that I really shed. In a lot of ways, that's sort of like an old, an old demon which feels good to say it's an old one. But I've more recently been noticing how the location in which we are has an energy to it. New York City has a very specific energy. People come here for a reason. They come here to partner with the energy of the city and make their dreams come true, and that's why there's like magic in the air here, like you can turn left and fall in love or you can turn right and fall in a pothole. You know what I mean. Like it's a very moment by moment thing that people are attracted to and that's why they flock here. And I think we started this conversation by me saying, yeah, I'm in a winter time right now. Because I'm in that state, I'm finding the energy of the city more annoying than it is exciting, simply because that's not the place I feel I am. And when I am in the place of, okay, let's go make something, it feels so good and so right and you can soar with it.

Anna Uzele: 24:34

But I think when Dear Edward got canceled and then New York, new York closed.

Anna Uzele: 24:41

There was this feeling of well, like I worked really, really hard to fill up my schedule with these amazing opportunities, like I don't have any energy left in the tank to go book another TV show or go try to find another Broadway show, like I just put all of my juice into these, like two things that I really loved and care about, and so I guess I'm gonna need to sit down for a little bit and try to re-nourish myself and just sit with myself for a bit.

Anna Uzele: 25:13

And there has been a lot of guilt in that. There has been a lot of guilt that is coming up for me even simply in like taking maps and like having like old child memories come up of, like going to like take a nap, but then like not fully falling asleep because I wanted to like listen for a parent's footsteps on the step, because if they caught me sleeping, like I might get in trouble for like not doing, not finishing a chore or something like that, and so there's all of these ways in which I've actually hindered myself from fully resting and so the pressure to hustle. I could blame the city, but at the end of the day, like we're responsible for ourselves, and so, yeah, I've been working to release any pressure out of place for myself to not rest and to not re-nourish because I have to, and it's been really lovely.

Lisa Hopkins: 26:09

You get to I get to?

Anna Uzele: 26:13

Yeah, I get to, I get to, and I've experienced what it's like to not do that it's not right. It's not right. And so it's been lovely to be like, yeah, I'm gonna take a nap right now, and then I'm gonna do this because I get to what I want to.

Lisa Hopkins: 26:31

Yeah, well, and it is amazing what the I get to thing because it's so conscious, right, and you're in it, whereas with that I have to think. I mean, I understand what you mean when you say that, but your brain doesn't See. Your brain, your brain is, I always say, it's like almost like chatGPT, right, it has only the data in there. It's going to create stories from the data in there. So when you say I have to, it goes, I have to. Oh my God. That's why those other things come up. You hear, oh, I have to.

Lisa Hopkins: 27:04

When did that show up in her life? Oh, when her parents were right. That's why your brain is creating these stories. That's why you can't nap. But when you're in, I get to right, I get to do this. I choose to do this right Because you're doing it anyways. The key is like it's so funny that we assign stuff to what we're doing. When we're actually doing it. I mean, it's one thing to have goals and to think about what we want to do, and all that's all wonderful, but when we're actually in the moment, that's where all these storytelling goes on in our head. That prevents us from really taking in that moment, living in the moment.

Anna Uzele: 27:43

Yeah, yeah, also too, with this industry, with hers, you experience a lot of people who are afraid of being forgotten, and so that makes you think, well, maybe I should be afraid of being forgotten too. Maybe if I'm not working constantly, people will forget my name. And then what if I don't have a career anymore? And then you can go on this, this quite damaging fear spiral, even though you just finished working a job. My goodness, honey, you're fine.

Anna Uzele: 28:11

And so I think there's also pressure simply from the industry, because it's this space where we're super artistic and we're vulnerable and we're sharing ourselves, but also we're competitive at the same time. But also you're in a line of girls that look just like you and you're all gunning for the same role, but don't get competitive about it, and so this is weird, like mind bending thing where you're in competition but you're not supposed to act like you're in competition, but it can't help but affect you and it's going to affect you, and so it's been really lovely to just be like. I'm not going to be on Instagram anymore and it's okay if people forget about me for a little bit, because that's not what I'm living for, like I don't place value in being remembered by strangers.

Lisa Hopkins: 28:58

Yeah, there you go.

Anna Uzele: 29:00

That's okay. I place value in the people that are close to me, that I love. That's where the value lies.

Lisa Hopkins: 29:08

Yeah, amen, hey. So what would you do if you couldn't do what you do, like if for some reason, I don't know, it didn't exist, or yeah, what would you do?

Anna Uzele: 29:20

I would go be a tree house architect and I would design beautiful, beautiful tree houses, like tree mansions, not even tree houses that like span across an entire forest with like big, intricate walkways. I would love to live in the woods one day. I grew up climbing trees and like running around in the woods, so there's always something about nature that's calling to me, which I find funny that I live in a city but one day I'm going to live in nature. I know it. I love to make things beautiful.

Anna Uzele: 29:57

That is like something that makes me really happy is like transforming a space, whether that's like interior designing or even like transforming my own body and like feeding myself with really nutritious food so that I feel stronger the next day. There's something about that that makes me, something about transformation that feels so exciting to me. So, yeah, I would probably be doing something in that space. I'm also very passionate. I don't know why. I've always been very passionate and obsessed with childbirth, and I think it is one of the most like fascinating, beautiful things. And death, something about the bookends of life, are so alluring to me, and I think both of them are not talked about and forgotten, and so I'd probably work in one of those fields, whether I was like embalming bodies or working with people who had loved ones to pass, or being a doula or something like that, something where I was helping people transition in or out.

Lisa Hopkins: 31:03

Yeah, that's neat. Yeah, yeah. What's the rhythm of your days? Like these days. Like what's a day. So you're living in Brooklyn? Yeah, quote, unquote between projects or whatever. Like, what's the rhythm of your day these days? Like what's yeah.

Anna Uzele: 31:19

Yeah, it's been more social as of late, and usually when I'm in projects, I really struggle to keep up relationships with people and I send out a bunch of texts that are like hi, I'm really overworked and exhausted, I can't meet for a launcher, I'm not able to do this right now and so it's been really lovely to just reconnect with friends. It's, I feel, like I've been a social butterfly for the past couple of months. It's been really nourishing to reinvest in good friendships. I also experienced a really intense injury right after New York. New York closed and that's been a huge challenge for me and really new for me.

Anna Uzele: 31:59

I've never been injured before. I was always a really strong kid and I always loved picking heavy things up and putting them back down again, like that's always been really fun for me and I loved to deadlifts and squat and all of these things. And so then, for the first time, my body just wasn't doing what I wanted it to do and it was in a lot of pain and I had to reckon with a lot of physical weakness, and so I've been doing a lot of healing over the past couple of months. My days are okay. We're going to do a self tape for this TV show, and then we're going to go to physical therapy and then maybe we're going to sit in an Epsom salt bath and like try to get our legs to work again. It's been this mixture of reconnecting with people and then like crying on the floor because, like, my quad won't fire in the way I want it to.

Anna Uzele: 32:50

So it's been like really nourishing and also like sad at the same time, but I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Lisa Hopkins: 32:58

Hey, what's the hardest thing you've ever done?

Anna Uzele: 33:03

My wedding. It was the most beautiful day of my entire life and it was the bravest thing I've ever done. And my husband and I we got engaged. And then we had to decide how we were going to do this thing called ceremony, one in which we had only seen in a very, very Christian sense, and so we called up a friend. We met with this friend once a week for months leading up to it. He asked us our values. We meditated together. We basically crafted the ceremony in which our Christian relatives and friends and family were going to come watch, and it was the scariest thing I've ever done in my life because, like I said before, it's really, really easy for me to be secretive, like, if something's uncomfortable for me to share with you about myself, I just won't. That's just simpler, that's just easier.

Anna Uzele: 34:11

And this was a day that we were inviting people to come witness us in our truth, and that was so scary. And some of the choices we made around that day were going to be a bit abrasive to people. We made the choice, first of all, to walk down the aisle together. I did not feel it was true for me to be given away, and so I had to sit down with my parents. I had previously asked them to walk me down the aisle and I had to tell them I love you so much and I am so grateful for everything you've done for me. But my husband and I are actually going to walk down the aisle together, hand in hand, and we're going to do this a little bit differently. But here's how I envision you being a part of the ceremony, and we found other ways for them to be participants in it that felt right for us.

Anna Uzele: 35:08

It was terrifying because I had created this human being that I was so proud of, I had matured in ways that I was so proud of and evolved in so many ways, and now I was going to put it on display in front of friends and family that maybe hadn't seen into my heart in a really, really long time.

Anna Uzele: 35:32

And it was wild. We stepped out together, walked down the aisle and it almost felt like and I'm not trying to say that I understand this experience, but it almost felt like coming out to just be like hi, this is who we are, this is how we do ceremony, and we invite you to participate in that and thank you for coming and then to be received and accepted and to have the response be loved was absolutely life-changing, and I felt like we were able to step into marriage being like, oh, we can literally do anything together. I'm the bravest version of myself when you're next to me. Let's go, let's jump off cliffs, let's tear shit down. I'm like, let's go. So yeah, that was the hardest thing and it ended up being the biggest blessing.

Lisa Hopkins: 36:29

Wow, Thank you for sharing that. That's incredible and congratulations. That is extraordinarily brave and you didn't need to do that. I mean, you didn't have to do that right.

Anna Uzele: 36:40

I wanted to yeah well clearly and look what happened.

Lisa Hopkins: 36:44

right, I wanted to. What's the easiest thing you've ever done or easiest decision you've ever made?

Anna Uzele: 36:55

To make things. Anytime there's an invitation to create or to sing, it's just, it's so simple because it genuinely flows out of me, like there's this river inside of me that I can pull from. And so anytime I get to sing, anytime I get to share my creativity with people, like that is so easy. Getting the invitation to join New York, new York that was the easiest yes I've ever said in my entire life. Yes, absolutely yes, stu, I want to be a black girl in a period show, singing Kendra and Ed's music. That fits in my voice so easily as if it was written for me, even though it's not. Yes, yes, that was so easy.

Lisa Hopkins: 37:44

Did the opportunity come easily?

Anna Uzele: 37:47

It took several rounds of auditions, but I loved going to every single round. It didn't feel hard to do. I was actually in six at the time and I was auditioning for a workshop of New York, new York. It wasn't even a Broadway show at the time and I sent in a self tape. And then I went in and sang New York, new York in front of John Cander, which was crazy and all of it felt so simple. I remember feeling free to improv which usually if you're nervous it's hard to improv and I remember in the scene work we were doing, adding lines in, and the response in the room being really positive. And then, as we got further along in the callback process, they added some of the words that I had improv into the script as they were modifying the script. And so it was this wonderful collaborative journey and so by the time we got to Broadway I was like, yeah, I feel like a partner with you guys in making this show. So, yeah, it was easy because I wanted all of it.

Lisa Hopkins: 38:53

Yeah, that's awesome. How do you want to be remembered?

Anna Uzele: 38:59

Well, if I need to be remembered, if I am remembered, that's wonderful, but I don't know why. My first instinct in hearing you say that is like well, why do I need to be remembered? I want to live a life in which, when people are around me and are near me, they simply get to fall deeper in love with themselves. I want to live a life in which people blossom, kind of like when a flower sees the sun, it can open up. I just want to give sun to everyone, and if you remember that I'm the one that gave that to you, that's fine, but also the fact that it affected you at all is all that matters. This is the first time I'm thinking through this question.

Lisa Hopkins: 40:11

Not bad.

Anna Uzele: 40:14

Yeah, I just want to like inject the world with more love. I think that we're all starving for it, and if you remember that it came from me, sure why not? But also, the love will be there, whether I'm there or not.

Lisa Hopkins: 40:34

Yeah, that's really beautiful.

Anna Uzele: 40:38

I love the work you do. I love the work you do. And one thing I wanted to say that I, as I listened to some of your podcasts before coming on here, it was really cool because I felt like you were giving the audience an opportunity to watch you do the work that you do in a way even though I know that this is a completely different setting than your one-on-one coaching sessions but still we're able to get a peek into how you speak, into people's lives, and that was so attractive to me and there was something about it that I was like, oh, I want to do something like that one day. And I think that sort of speaks to my answer to your question of like I would love to help people realize who they are. There's something about that that's so beautiful because you're doing that Like that's literally the work you're doing, yeah, so I love that and thank you for sharing that.

Lisa Hopkins: 41:32

Let me ask you just a few more things. You got a few more minutes. Yeah, yeah, absolutely Brilliant. Ooh, what would you say is your Achilles heel?

Anna Uzele: 41:44

Disappointing people, as in like, if there is a chance that I could disappoint someone, it can control me, it could control the actions I take, and I've been working on it. But man, sometimes it comes in. I'm like, oh, it would be so good to just make them smile. Wouldn't that feel better? Just to make them happy, that would feel so nice.

Lisa Hopkins: 42:12

Oh, my God.

Anna Uzele: 42:13

Just betray yourself. Make them smile.

Lisa Hopkins: 42:15

Wow, yeah, that's huge, but it's attached. It's so attached. We don't think it's attached right, because usually when you're giving people like it until they don't, and then you get triggered and then you go, oh, then you know it's attached.

Anna Uzele: 42:34

Yeah, because you're doing it for the expectation that they're going to dish out some sort of compliment or some sort of gratitude that's going to make you feel good. And then you just realize that you've probably never done a selfless action in your entire life, because it was all to just make you feel like a great person.

Lisa Hopkins: 42:51

What's one big goal that you have that you've thought about, maybe toyed with, yeah?

Anna Uzele: 42:58

I want to play a superhero, and it doesn't necessarily have to have magical powers, but to be some sort of warrior, some sort of situation where you fly me to I don't know, New Zealand and I'm training for six months to prepare for this role and I get to throw spears and I get to learn fight choreography and things like that. That is huge for me to get to use my body in that sort of way for a role, not just my face.

Lisa Hopkins: 43:29

Oh, 100%, and that's going to happen. I feel that.

Anna Uzele: 43:32

Yeah, me too, I would love to play. You know there's Africa has such a deep, deep, rich, rich history pre-colonialization, and there are so many ancient African queens that have sort of been forgotten about. There was a queen of Ethiopia that had this magnificent army, which is why Ethiopia was never colonized. To this day, it is like the one African country that wasn't depleted of resources. And so there's all these like African queens that I would love. My father's Congolese, and I spent my early years going to Africa several times to visit family and haven't been back in years, but I would love to tell some of those stories.

Lisa Hopkins: 44:19

Yeah, I would love to see some of those stories.

Anna Uzele: 44:22

Yeah, and throw a spear or something, absolutely.

Lisa Hopkins: 44:25

Well and it's funny because I think stillness would be one of your superpowers so you'd have the spear.

Anna Uzele: 44:30

Yes, you would just stand there for a minute and then, all of a sudden, and like riding a tiger Well, maybe not a tiger, it has to be native to the country but like riding like a lioness or something like that.

Lisa Hopkins: 44:44

Yeah, woohoo, woo. That's amazing. All right, what do you know will stay true about you, really, no matter what happens.

Anna Uzele: 44:58

I'm going to keep an open heart. I think that's been a through line in every stage of life, as I just enter every new situation with an openness of like I know what I know and I can't wait to know more. And I'm really good at staying curious and I'm always going to be the one that asks a billion questions in those new situations where I don't know anything or know anyone. Love it and it might annoy you, but I'm here to learn. I think I will always remain a student.

Lisa Hopkins: 45:31

All right. So I'm going to say what makes you and I'm going to say the word and you can say whatever you want to say what makes you hungry.

Anna Uzele: 45:43

Dates.

Lisa Hopkins: 45:45

Mmm, you like dates, I love dates.

Anna Uzele: 45:49

I eat them all the time. It's like first thing in the morning I wake up and I just want the candy, Earth's candy.

Lisa Hopkins: 45:55

What makes you sad?

Anna Uzele: 46:00

the cold, cold temperatures like make me like really upset inside.

Lisa Hopkins: 46:07

Oh no. So what do you? We're happy into winter. I feel for you.

Anna Uzele: 46:14

I like keep my heat pumping and I like wear sweaters all the time. But like the experience of being cold makes me so annoyed and upset and like downtrodden I don't know where the connection is between like emotions and temperature but then like it will start to warm up and like my mood lifts and I'm a really lovely person again.

Lisa Hopkins: 46:39

That's so interesting. So if you were to say, bundle up like really with perfect warm, you know, yeah, engineered clothing and you were perfectly warm and you went out in like beautiful, snowy, cold, cold, cold, cold weather, like would you?

Anna Uzele: 46:55

Yeah, I would, so long as I was properly bundled up, and I like make sure I properly bundle up before going outside, because being cold is such a frustrating emotion for me.

Lisa Hopkins: 47:07

What inspires you?

Anna Uzele: 47:09

Children. Children inspire me like crazy. One of my pandemic jobs was tutoring eight year old twins because there was no other work and I really do like working with kids, and so I came to their house every single day for a year and I logged them on to Zoom and I taught them third grade math and science and all of the things. Yeah, children inspire the crap out of me because I'm getting to witness like the human soul before it's been like crushed and mangled by the world, and so it sort of reminds me what we all can be and what we all get to be, which I love. I love how they speak their mind with such ferocity and there's no agenda behind it. They will just say what they say and you could get offended, it could be funny, it doesn't matter, but they didn't intend it for it to be that way. There was no malice behind it. There was nothing behind it. It was just simply the truth spewing out of them, and that gets me so excited and I want to learn from them.

Lisa Hopkins: 48:15

It's inspiring me. Yeah, no, totally. Hey, you worked with a beautiful young lady on Dear Edward right.

Anna Uzele: 48:23

Yes, yes, chloe, I think that was like her first like series regular with me and I was so nervous. But anytime I am in a scene with a child, immediately I am unafraid. It's so wonderful because I'm like, oh, I'm working with a kid, you're going to do something or say something that was completely unscripted and that's going to put me at ease and that's going to like remind me that like it's not that deep and we're just playing and it's fun. And I'm so silly. And I remember my first like TV job ever, like never been in front of a camera. I didn't even know how to set work, like didn't understand any of the terminology. I got paired with a child and I remember like thanking my lucky stars like that, yep, we're going to be okay because we're with a kid and we're calm now. So they really put me at ease actually.

Lisa Hopkins: 49:17

Yeah, that's amazing. So what frustrates you?

Anna Uzele: 49:22

People talking for the sake of being heard. I've just become increasingly frustrated over the past couple of years as there have been like a lot of like large topics to discuss and a lot of that discussion happens on the internet and everyone suddenly is a political science expert and everybody's suddenly a doctor and everybody's suddenly an expert in a field that, no, they're not. So I think people talking when they don't have anything valuable to add, they just want to be heard, like grinds my gears, what makes you laugh. I love a good growth. I love when comedians like speak the truth and like kind of a harsh way, but it's so true and so funny and it just like tickles you and teaches you at the same time.

Lisa Hopkins: 50:20

What makes you angry?

Anna Uzele: 50:22

Or suffering of any kind. Yeah, watching those that are weaker get preyed upon and any sort of capacity.

Lisa Hopkins: 50:32

And finally, what makes you grateful.

Anna Uzele: 50:36

This life I get to lead. I don't even know where I get to begin, but it's like I have the most amazing life and I'm surrounded by so many blessings and the most incredible husband and I have. We have such a wonderful relationship and we're literally best friends, which I know is is rare and sought after for so many folks. So love makes me really grateful.

Lisa Hopkins: 51:05

Absolutely. What are the top three things that have happened so far today?

Anna Uzele: 51:11

It's with my dog out for a really lovely sunny walk and it was cold but it was sunny and I bundled up sufficiently and I love the sun Like if I could eat the sun, I would. Oh, I'm gonna dog sit a friend's dog and I found out that I was gonna do that earlier and so I'm excited about that. So we're gonna have another puppy come over today and we're gonna have a house full of dogs and that's gonna be great and a little piano this morning and that was really a nourishing to myself. Anytime I get to like give art to myself, it feels really good.

Lisa Hopkins: 51:45

I love that. And what are you looking forward to long term?

Anna Uzele: 51:51

I'm looking forward to hopefully becoming a mother one day. That's something that I really, really desire. That whole journey and what those lessons are throwing this fear while riding a lion, that's self explanatory course. Yeah, I think those are the two big ones for myself.

Lisa Hopkins: 52:17

I love it and I so so appreciate you taking the time to chat today.

Anna Uzele: 52:23

Yeah, thank you for having me. This is so lovely and easy.

Lisa Hopkins: 52:27

Ditto, ditto. You have such a beautiful, beautiful energy. Thank you for shining some sun on me over here. I appreciate it.

Anna Uzele: 52:35

Yeah, always, always. You're so welcome.

Lisa Hopkins: 52:38

I've been speaking today with Anna Usela. I'm Lisa Hopkins. Thanks so much for listening. Everyone, stay safe and healthy and warm and remember to live in the moment. In music, stop time is that beautiful moment where the band is suspended in rhythmic unison, supporting the soloists to express their individuality In the moment. I encourage you to take that time and create your own rhythm. Until next time. I'm Lisa Hopkins. Thanks for listening.