Well , so I have a really hard time living in the moment . Like that is probably my biggest challenge in life . I'm constantly thinking , uh , both positively and negatively , about what the future holds . Um , yeah , I'm always like , okay , here are all the possibilities and here's everything that can go wrong . And , um , I
definitely , um , am trying to work on like not spiraling and and being more present and living in the moment .
Speaker 2Yeah , when you think of spiraling , what does that , what does that conjure for you ? I mean , think of it all . Like what does that mean ? Spiraling , do you know what I mean ? Like it's a thing that we've been trained to go . I'm spiraling and my tank is empty , or I'm , I'm out of control . That's what to me , that's what that conjures I'm out of control . Free fall , yes , exactly
, and that's friggin scary .
Speaker 2So , first of all , when we , when we way and we assign words to it , right , because they're just symbols Words are just symbols , but words . Our brain files out the unnecessary information . Right , because it can't take in everything . But when it hears strong words like spiraling , it goes we're spiraling , put your defenses on , put your yellow vest on , you need help and I'm here . I'm going to help you Because you know this is you talking to yourself ? And if we can start to actually A like , be really granular with the words we use , first of all , what does spiraling mean to you ? You're going to start to realize it doesn't mean you're standing on a cliff and falling to the bottom of the Grand Canyon or wherever , and spiraling is on a spectrum ,
if you want to , for that matter . Right , like , sometimes you feel shitty . Sometimes you feel really shitty , sometimes you just want to die shitty and sometimes you feel , ah , not so shitty , just a little shitty and it's . You know , we are diverse humans . Every day we're diverse , so we're not a type . So , even though everyone thinks of Lisa now as the living in the moment person , which is fine , we do that . We make labels so that we can understand things .
Speaker 2Now , when we talk about ourselves and say things like you just shared , I'm afraid of spiraling . Who's not afraid of spiraling ? I mean , that's a smart thing , that's a smart instinct , but you're not actually spiraling . So the thing that you're running from , there's no actual lion that's going to run you off the cliff , right , and this is where discernment comes in , not black and white thinking where you go , either I'm okay or I'm not okay .
Speaker 2You need that if you're in a life and death situation , my God , we need that . But you don't need to practice that because it's built in , it's totally built in , so you can let go of that . So when that fire alarm goes off in your head , you can say wait , what's really true here ? Wait , okay , spiraling Really , and get curious about it , right ? So forget about the fear of it . That's normal . There's nothing crazy about you for being afraid of spiraling . Nobody wants to spiral .
Speaker 2But the real question that you need to ask yourself is am I spiraling ? What does spiraling look like ? It looks like , I don't know , all the lights go out in the bookstore and , you know , my partner leaves me and my dogs die , and I mean I don't know like , but create the worst case scenario . And , yeah , you laugh and I mean because it's not true , right , okay , so so what is your definition of of spiraling ? You know , or maybe there's another word and maybe there's a , maybe there's a you know more of a spectrum of you know , or does it make sense ? Am I making sense ?
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah , I mean , and I for me , spiraling is , is is kind of getting to that worst case scenario , okay , and because part of me feels like I should
be , I should prepare myself for that Totally , but I know that it's's the .
Speaker 1The likelihood of it is , you know , very small and yes and um , but what you said about when the fire alarm is going off in your head , what can you um , I forget how you phrase it , but like what facts can you pull out of that ? Like what's real and what's just like your mind going ? And I think that's probably something I should work on practicing , because what's going on in my head is is imagination , that you know , and what , what do I know to be true at this moment , and that's not what's going on . But yeah , spiraling is , as Leslie said , free fall , just like my mind just goes all over the place and bouncing from here to there and , just you know , keeps rolling .
Speaker 2If , at a time that you're feeling that way and we all feel that way sometimes , so you're not alone when you're feeling that way and you have the thought you know , or or you know the sentiment I'm spiraling , how does that make you feel ?
Speaker 1Oh , not great .
Speaker 2Can you get more granular about ? How does it make you feel sad ? Does it make you angry ?
Speaker 1Does it make you feel anxious , just really yeah , yeah , not great .
Speaker 2When you're feeling anxious , what do you do ?
Speaker 1I just keep thinking about all the things .
You just keep thinking , I do , I just keep thinking .
Speaker 2So if you were able to have an alternate thought , even if you didn't believe it , what would that thought be ?
Speaker 1I mean , I think I'd like to be Continue to think about what is true at present and what is in my control now , and not think about what I can't control , about the possibilities in the future that may or may not come true .
Speaker 2So if you were just to distill that down into an alternate phrase to I'm spiraling , what would you want it to be ?
Speaker 1I'm living in the moment , yeah .