Hey there , I've been thinking a lot about the expression . It goes without saying it's a funny one , it goes without saying . Does it really go without saying ? I mean , is it ever a good idea to assume that people know how
we feel , that it's obvious enough and doesn't need repeating ? What conclusions are we making when people don't respond to our feelings as we expected because we assumed that they already knew how we felt ? Have you ever said something you regretted in the heat of the moment and then just assumed the other person knew you didn't mean it , maybe even opting out of apologizing , taking for granted that it is understood that you didn't mean it at all ? This emotional shortcut has led to much unnecessary disconnection . At a certain point in relationships , both personal and professional , we stop expressing how we feel and simply assume that it's known . Instead , an assumption is defined as a willingness
to accept something is true without question or proof . So how many things then ? How many things that we assume are obvious or go without saying don't actually go at all ? They're lost in the translation or the lack of translation . And even if the feelings are mutual or understood , what opportunities are we missing for deeper , more meaningful connection in our relationships when we opt not to say it or express it out loud and reinforce the sentiment .
Speaker 1Take a moment to think about the things in your life that you assume or even expect to go without saying . I'll go first . It goes without saying that I love my daughter unconditionally . It goes without saying that I am grateful for my family and it goes without saying that I'm proud of my friend .
But wait a second . If I'm assuming that it goes without saying , what am I missing when I think about my daughter ? What can I grow and share and expand and increase in our connection by telling her I love you unconditionally ? Gratitude for family . Well , I hear it over and over again . People tell me I'm so grateful for my family , my family means so much to me . But how many of us actually say it to our family ? And it goes without saying that I'm proud of you . But does it ? You know , my dad recently told me that he was proud of me . You know , my dad recently told me that he was proud of me . He didn't need to say it because it goes without saying , doesn't it ? Well , I don't know . I mean , I hope that he's proud of me and I look for signs that he's proud of me . But boy oh boy , when he told me unequivocally how proud of me he is , he just can't replace that . It does not go without saying . Don't let these things go without saying , my friends . Think about it . Don't cheat yourself of the beautiful connection available to you .
Speaker 1By saying how you feel , by being clear , by never assuming that people know how you feel , how might you demonstrate what is already known in a different light ? Maybe you've said I love you a million times in the same way , but it starts to feel no different when you say times in the same way , but it starts to feel no different when you say I love you , as if you said I'm tired . Same tone , same tenor , same energy , or I'm hungry , I'm bored . In fact , I've heard people say I'm hungry with a lot more passion than I love you . Oh , I'm so hungry .
And then there's I hate you or I hate that . Well , hate seems to elicit a more intense physical response , doesn't it ? I hate it when that happens . When someone does that , I mean , I can feel it . It's visceral and it's effective in matching the physical feeling with the sentiment . But when was the last time you actually felt love or a positive feeling , pride , when you expressed it for someone you love or for yourself . That feeling of being proud , it's reciprocal . When you tell someone that you're proud of them , it makes you feel good . If you really feel it , it will come back at you . It's an energetic exchange . And you know what I have found more connection with people when they say to me I appreciate you than I love you .
Speaker 1It's said so often I love you starts to lose its power , especially when it's not felt , or especially when it's assumed that it goes without saying . What if your partner , who always says I love you at the end of a phone call or always kisses you goodnight and says I love you , said I appreciate you instead ? What are other ways that we can express how we feel so that it does not go without saying or that we say it by rote ? It goes without saying that I am grateful for you for listening , dear listener , but does it ? How would you know that if I did not say it ? And it does not go without saying that you're enjoying this .
Speaker 1Why not send a message ? Why not engage ? Why not tell me that you're enjoying this ? Why not send a message ? Why not engage ? Why not tell me that you're enjoying this ? That's my challenge to you , not because I want you to reach out and listen to the podcast tell me how great it is , but to practice , not assuming that it goes without saying . I promise you , my friends , that by saying that you like somebody , by saying that you were impressed by something , by saying that you feel a certain way in all aspects of your life , with those you love , with those that maybe you feel for granted without realizing it and , for goodness sake , for yourself ,
it does not go without saying . I'm Lisa Hopkins . Thanks so much for listening . Stay safe and healthy , everyone , and remember to live in the moment .