Lisa Hopkins 0:00
This is the stop time podcast. I'm your host, Lisa Hopkins and I'm here to engage you in thought provoking motivational conversations around practicing the art of living in the moment. I'm a certified life coach, and I'm excited to dig deep and offer insights into embracing who we are and where we are at. My next guest is a two time Emmy Award winner and seven time Emmy nominee. She is a world class director, producer, choreographer, known for her groundbreaking work as a producer and choreographer on the global television hits So You Think You Can Dance? Her highly acclaimed choreography can be seen throughout Damien chazelle original movie musical lala land, which is the recipient of seven Golden Globe Awards and six Academy Awards. Her work has been featured in Oscar nominated films American Hustle, Silver Linings Playbook Did you hear about the Morgan's to name a few. She is a choreographer. She's a producer, a guest judge for ABC long running television show Dancing with the Stars and made history by being the first choreographer to choreograph for the Golden Globe Awards Academy Awards, the Grammy Awards and Emmy Awards in the same year. That was a bit of a busy year for you, girlfriend. She is currently the producer and choreographer for NBC new hit series, Zoe's extraordinary playlist, and it is with the greatest pleasure that I welcome Mandy Moore to Stop Time today. Mandy, welcome,
Mandy Moore 1:29
Lisa, this is awesome. You say all that and I kind of start sweating a little bit. Honestly, I'm like, did that all happen?
Lisa Hopkins 1:34
It did. No kidding, right? Sometimes to hear it back... it's kind of like.. how does that feel? Honestly, but let's just jump right in there.
Mandy Moore 1:43
I know, well, hey, let's just get into it. And I think a lot of creators probably feel this way. You just do what you do, right? Like every job that you get every kind of moment that you have to connect or create gets a very personal experience. So you just do it day by day, as if, you know, I'm not sometimes I don't think I'm consciously thinking about what I'm creating. So then when it finishes, and then to hear you say all those things that I've done, it's just feels weird, because I'm like, Well, yeah, I did those things, because they were my everyday existence. But then you also have this world of like, Oh, no, that was like a big thing. Like people really liked that movie. Or, you know, a lot of people saw that or, you know, you win an Emmy like, it's a very odd experience to, to both live in something like so day to day and be so connected to it. But then also have other people go like, hey, that's cool. What you do? You know, because you're like, Well, I do it if you liked it, or if you didn't. So, you know, I'm into either one, honestly, ya know, for sure.
Lisa Hopkins 2:42
I'm always so curious, like, you know that the imposter syndrome comes up for a lot of a lot of my clients, you know, with like, you know, they've accomplished so much. And then you get to the next thing, and you get it because you deserve to get the gig. But then you kind of go, how did I do that? Does that ever come up for you?
Mandy Moore 2:58
Are you kidding me? Lisa, this is every day of my life, like a couple of my friends that I like other choreographers, we talk about this, that it's like, you think that you don't know how to choreograph every job you get, you know, it's like, even if coming straight off of lala land a huge job. And people like, how did you do that opening number you think? Like, I don't know, I just did it because you do it. And then the next job, I literally think, okay, yeah, this is the one this is the one where everyone's gonna figure it out. She has no clue what she's doing. Because it's like, every time you're reinventing, which is the beauty, and like, the challenge of all of it is like a colleague going into battle, I feel like I have to get myself ready for battle every time I start a new job, because it's like, you go through it as a creator, you know, there's no, there's no formula for it. You know, I wish sometimes it was easy, you know, and I could say, well, if I do this, this and this, it's gonna happen like this, just like it did on the last job. But choreography and creation and I think choreography, especially it's, it's new each and every time. You know, we're as choreographers creating things that have never existed before. You know, we're not taking a song that's already existed and reworking it and making it a cover. Or, you know, we're not taking the structure and the mathematics of a building. And again, not to minimize anyone else's, you know, creative process. But I think choreography is such an interesting beast in that way that you're lit, you're creating from nothing every time and you're creating, from what you perceive your job to be, or what someone's told you, you know, director or the scripts or the music, whatever, it's however it speaks to you. And then it's all about you, that kind of creation coming through you, you and your experience. And because you change every day, it changes every day. That's scary. You know, it's not like you can't just say like, well, I've done 45 numbers and I'm, even though I know like, I know how to choreograph. I know how to run a room. I know how to go from A to B to C. It's every time you know, I always laugh because I'm like, I'm sweating already. It's true. Like the minute I get a job, I'm like, Yes, I'm sweating, I'm stressed.
Lisa Hopkins 4:58
Absolutely. And then It's perfectly I mean, as you said, that's so perfectly normal. I'm curious to know, like, if you didn't feel like that, what would come up for you?
Mandy Moore 5:06
Right? Big one, you know, I have had a couple of jobs in my life very few, like, I want to say maybe two, that I didn't feel that and I, you know, also like, that's not like me to quit or to not see something through I'm a very like, see it through person from my parents, like, you know, I remember I tried to quit basketball when I was in 10th grade, and my dad said, you will not, you will see this through because you, you know, you said you would be a part of this team and great lesson and he's exactly right. But I think there's been two jobs in my life ever that I quit. And it was because I just didn't feel it. I wasn't in it. You know, I didn't think that I was the right person for the job. Honestly, it all kind of went down to that she just didn't get that feeling inside, it was more of a dread inside instead of that, kind of. It's like bubbly. It's like when something boils, you feel it inside, you're nervous, because you want to do a good job. But if you're feeling dread, I think that's, you know, a really you got to listen to yourself, right? That stuff, which is hard. Learning how to listen to myself.
Lisa Hopkins 6:07
Yeah, no, absolutely. Thank you for sharing that. That's really interesting. Yeah. I mean, it's kind of, like you said, it's a visceral feeling that kind of it's an intuition. Right? Yeah. And if you listen to it, it's kind of sort of the body knows the scar, as they say, right. I mean, it really,
Mandy Moore 6:21
it really does. And I think as dancers, too, we know this, just as choreographers and dancers are also so in tune with every little thing we feel. Yeah. And so like, if you're feeling like this weird dread that you kind of go like, Oh, I don't think I'm supposed to be here. Yeah. And having the like, confidence to say, Hey, I can't do this. Like, that's a really hard thing to do. I think.
Lisa Hopkins 6:41
Absolutely. I
mean, that's a strength. Yeah, it's not an easy thing to do. Yeah. No, good for you. And, you know, I mean, you're, you're honoring the value of yours right there, aren't you? I mean, what, what value would you say you're honoring by doing that? saying, No,
Mandy Moore 6:53
I mean, probably listening to myself or just being like, okay, that for me, this isn't right, which I think is also a really hard thing. Because sometimes that can be perceived, I think, for me is like selfish to say like, Well, for me, it's not right. But sometimes it's okay to be selfish. Because getting you give a lot also as an as a human, but also as a choreographer, creator and coach, you give a lot. So sometimes it's important, I think, to get back to yourself and say, like, no, it's not right for me right now. Doesn't mean it can't be right for somebody else at another time, or even me at another time. But right now, it's not.
Lisa Hopkins 7:28
Yeah, no, absolutely. No, that makes perfect sense. And you said, You strike me as someone who, as busy as you, as you seem to have been in your career so far, sees possibility everywhere and gets lots of opportunities. Right. So it sounds like it probably doesn't happen that often.
Mandy Moore 7:42
My mom said something to me, too, is I have amazing parents. First of all, like, good job, Bob. And Wendy, they did a really great job with me. So Bob, and Wendy rock. But I remember my mom saying to me, you know, as a young kid, because I also just was a really active kid, you know, like, I really did a lot of things. I played sports, and I loved school, and I did dance. And you know, I just was a really active kid. And, you know, even at a young age, I had a hard time saying no, and my mom always said, You know what, like, let's keep all the doors open until you have to close one. And I remember thinking as a kid, that's an interesting way of looking at it. Because it's true, I see possibility everywhere. It's not just, you know, if somebody comes, you know, asked me to teach at their studio, I see that as as much of a possibility and an opportunity as someone asking you to choreograph a feature film, to me, they're all opportunities to share. And I think that's what really drives me in life is the ability to like, share and connect with people. And so that happens on so many different levels, and in so many different ways. And I yeah, I do think that's what my career's been so like, all over the place, like everything, I feel like I've done all these different kinds of things, and really had the opportunity to do so so many different kinds of things.
Lisa Hopkins 8:52
Yeah. That's really, really cool. And, you know, you're really speaking to the idea that you know, sometimes we we get lost in the in whatever the thing is, right, no matter what you do, but, you know, we learn once we get to these places, that it's not that, right, it's it, there's a deeper connection to what the why we do things, right. And to the value that is being served.
Mandy Moore 9:15
Yeah.
...and my journey to get there. I think, went to my dad used to tell me all the time, he's like, Man, it's not about getting there. It's about the journey not to be like, yeah, whatever, you know, yes. Just about getting there. You know, and, yeah, obviously, you know, as you get older, you get, hopefully a little bit smarter. And he saw, right, you know, it's not about winning the Emmy. For me, it's about the journey that got me there. And so then when when I did, it was it was that much sweeter, and honestly, it didn't even matter. I was like, well, that's cool. Thanks. That's amazing that somebody thought to vote for me for that. But the flood of memory that comes, you know, back to you in that moment, and you're just so grateful for the 1000s of hours of you know, working with dancers are being asked to go Do you know something on so you think in a million times you kind of failed and you sucked. That also is a part of that amazing journey of the, you know, getting to the so called win as well, you know?
Lisa Hopkins 10:13
Absolutely. Yeah. And it's the I mean, the acknowledgement and validation is very important, but it's not the goal. Right. You know, which is why, you know, you probably were a little bit sidelined by it and kind of like... Oh...
Mandy Moore 10:25
I was, literally I had no idea that first one I like, I still laugh because I thought for sure Travis was gonna win. I was just like, so excited for him. He's a dear friend, you know, as like, I just I'm also this weird, like, super excited for people. Yeah, they called my name and I just like, haha, like I didn't even didn't even fathom, but that was even a possibility. I hadn't even put that into my head. So yeah, that happens a lot in life. You know, just the little wins you get it's not, you know? Yeah, you just kind of go off. You're doing your thing.
Lisa Hopkins 10:55
Totally. No, totally. So where are you spending most of your time these days?
Mandy Moore 10:59
Hmm. Well, I'm in Canada and very, very beautiful. Canada. I love it. And yeah, I'm currently shooting Season Two of Zoe's extraordinary playlist. As you said, In the beginning, I, you know, I producing and directing or producing and choreographing possible directing. Aha, little slip there. So we'll see where that goes. But yes, and it's, it's awesome. It is a really tough job. The workload is incredible. The, the creation is incredible. I love the tone of the show, you know, it's really, I feel like I'm firing on all cylinders in this job, which is nice, you know, it challenges me in my brain, not only my body and my heart, but my brain.
Lisa Hopkins 11:43
Yeah. And I really appreciate that. And I love that. So I'm so curious to know, like, how,how has the pandemic affected your rhythm and energy in your world?
Mandy Moore 11:53
Yeah, good question.
Um, let's see, I think, you know, initially when it hit, I think I was very similar to most people, you know, I felt tackled from the side from the saying, and I had a really heavy heart for my community. And my people, you know, I, personally, I was lucky enough to work all through the pandemic, I don't know how that happened. But I, you know, it hit and I had about a week, you know, all my jobs for the next, you know, two years went away. And so that was, of course, terrifying, you know, because you think, Wow, I'm, you know, not that I am my work, but I don't have anything, I don't have another skill set, you know, like, other than I love people, and I can work with people on like, Hey, I can go be a Amazon shopper if I need to. I mean, it was not like, I was like, I can't work. But, you know, the thing that I've trained my whole life to do was just not needed anymore. So that was a very, I think, interesting thing to kind of wrap my head around. Like, I don't think I've ever felt so non essential. Hmm. You know, and it's like, all this talk of essential workers and everything. And I was just like, wow, maybe I did the wrong, you know, I took the wrong path. Maybe I should have gone into something like that. And so I'm a bit of doubt, for sure. And that I had to work through. And luckily, as my sister and we had a lot of late night chats about just what are we going to do. And you know, Funny enough, like a weekend, I got calls, because all that stuff started with, you know, doing shooting commercials and shows via zoom. And so personally, I was very lucky to work, but the entire time, I just had such a heavy heart for the people that create and the people that perform and the people that entertain and all the people that have lost their jobs, like I'm stressed to pay my bills, and I'm working so like, how are they paying their bills? How are they eating? How are their brains, like, I've just really had a super heavy like soul for a long time about it. And still do honestly, like, I feel like I'm trying to figure out ways to hire dancers or hire choreographers to do things that you know, to fill the space to give their time, you know, anything to connect, because you take away that ability to be in person and all all these dancers, creators, choreographers, entertainers, we strive that's what we do is we get in a room and we all do this thing and we perform for people and and that being gone. I just, I could feel it everywhere, like got up here in August and have been super work mode and very grateful to be working but it's still, you know, talking to friends or like I you know, had to move home or, you know, kids that had just moved to LA that they're like, well, I don't know, I'm gonna go move back with my parents because I don't know what's going on. Yeah, brutal for it to be just like the rug ripped out. I just feel for them.
Lisa Hopkins 14:40
Yeah, no, absolutely. What would you say is the the biggest challenge you personally have faced since the pandemic?
Mandy Moore 14:46
I mean, honestly, I felt a lot of guilt for working. Hmm, that's weird. But I just I think that was a big challenge for me is Yeah, here we see everyone around me. That's not them. So you know, it felt Almost may be a little self centered. So there were times where I was like, I just didn't want anyone to know, I was working because I felt guilty. You know, and I got nothing interesting thing to unpack. Why, you know, and I thought, well, I guess what I can do is I can share, right? Like, that's what I can do is if I, if I'm working, I have some money, I can, you know, donate to something, or I can frequence a small business or I can give to a scholarship fund or, because I'm lucky, I am working right now. So I can you know, and like, trying to give of my time, give my spirit give, you know, whatever that is. That was an interesting thing to deal with. I was like, Well, I didn't see that coming. Yeah,
Lisa Hopkins 15:39
no. 100%. And it's so interesting, because all those things you said are so valid and so wonderful, right, that you were able to put it to action and think well, how you know, Okay, I see it. This I'm feeling this way. Why? What can I do? And I just want to point out, it's kind of interesting, that by working, how is that not giving back? I mean, the work you do...
Mandy Moore 16:01
Very true. I mean, I think I finally started to wrap my head around that when I got into, you know, up here in Vancouver and actually started working and just seeing people's faces, you know, and like, I mean, you know, even though it's only half our face, by the way, because we wear masks 14 hours a day, and that is brutal.
I think there's not enough oxygen to my brain. I mean, even after 14 hours, I'm like, whoa. But yeah, just even that little bit of connection and, and create, like creation and knowing that what we've created is gonna go into people's homes, you know, anywhere and hopefully put a smile on their face or make them cry or like, make them have something to look forward to. You know, I think that's, it's nice. Yeah. Like, I think I finally got around to that point. Yeah, once I got up here, and I started working, you know, here on Zoe's.
Lisa Hopkins 16:49
Yeah. It sounds like it's a little bit difficult for you, maybe because, and, you know, jump in and tell me if this isn't true - but it sounds like maybe it's a little bit difficult for you to, to accept that because you're a very "in the room" sort of person. And so although in your head, you understand that people are going to be watching and liking and smiling it. You're not seeing them liking and hearing and smiling.
Mandy Moore 17:11
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think as a teacher, you probably feel this too... like, the teaching, I love to do the sharing, but it's actually the receiving funny enough that I love more than anything. It's just seeing people's faces and seeing their bodies, learn it and having that aha moment, or that just moment of connection and exchange. What is your definition of living in the moment? I guess my definition of living in the moment is not remembering that I was in the moment if that makes any sense. But I feel like when I look back at moments when I think I was living in the moment, I don't remember them. And I think it's because I was so fully present, that I wasn't clocking any of it in any sort of a way. Like I wasn't really going like, Oh, I feel this. I was wearing that I smelt this I you know, like, I think it's like a very visceral experience living in the moments for me. And it feels very peaceful and not in my head. I'm present, but it's all moving through me. You know, I'm not worried about where, what happens before and I'm not worried about what's going to happen. I'm just, it just is here. It just is.
Lisa Hopkins 18:21
Yeah.
Mandy Moore 18:22
Yeah. Like, I wonder if, you know, I spent a lot of my time as a creator, right, like, so most of my life is creation. And probably in my, like, mid-30s, I started to really think back to like moments that I felt most present. And a lot of them they were during moments when I was creating. And I remember my mom, I think I asked me like, Well, how do you come up with that stuff? And I remember really spending time thinking about that, like, I have no idea. I don't remember it. I don't know how I did it. You know, I really was never a conscious moment. All I remember is of that moment creating, feeling like it will just was in it. I don't it was never hard to create. It wasn't something I was just like laughing all the way through. It was just very oddly, this kind of blank space and time or something that I just happened. Yep. No, remember, it's really weird. It's like out of body or something. It's very crazy. Yeah,
Lisa Hopkins 19:19
No, I don't think it's crazy at all. I mean, I think it's literally trusting the process. Right? So so it sounds to me, like, you know, you've you've demonstrated that, you know, when you get a gig you go, Yeah, I got the gig, right. It's like, you get an audition you get to where you get an opportunity. We all love opportunities, because there's so much potential energy around that to tell everybody and not not from ego, but just it's validation, right? It's like, Oh, I got it. Right, then you're alone in your room.
Mandy Moore 19:46
Yes.
Lisa Hopkins 19:47
Right. And there's that moment where you're like, Okay, talk to me about that moment, before you create something that was never there before. You know, but that you just, you know, it's going to happen when you opened the floodgates. What's that moment feel like for you?
Mandy Moore 20:03
Like, if I were to put a picture to it, yeah,
Mandy Moore 20:06
it reminds me of when I was little, and I'd be outside playing in June in Colorado, and the thunderstorms would roll in. And they come in fast and they come in dark. And so for me a lot of the initial like feeling right before I'm like, going to dive into the creation is this like, thundercloud of like lightning. And like, I can feel it coming, it's powerful, it's coming at me like it's gonna happen. And then all of a sudden, I just feel like I like dive in. And then I don't know what happens for days and or hours, or whatever it is, however long that process is, and then I come up for air sometimes, and then I just dive right back then. And then like, the job finishes, and I usually have a kind of a mourning period, I would say, after a job for sure. You know, when I come out of that kind of creation mode, or whatever the situation was, you do have an odd moment of like, not really understanding what's going on, or like how to kind of navigate real life, because you've just been swimming for a long time. And, and then you get spit out of this, like Thunder Cloud or something. And it takes a moment to kind of come back down to earth. I've learned I've gotten better at that. But for a long time I'd ever even came down between jobs.
Lisa Hopkins 21:20
Hmm, yeah, beautiful metaphor. I could feel it, the thunderstorm and that was beautiful.
Mandy Moore 21:25
And I actually never said that before. Lisa. Oh, it's awesome. You helped me find the words!
Lisa Hopkins 21:30
Yeah, no, it's um, it's visceral. I feel the energy. I feel the combination of warm and cool, you know, the premonition of what's to come. And it's almost like, you know, you know, when your stomach is rumbling for something - hungry? Yeah. And then you find it.
Mandy Moore 21:50
Yes. Good one. You know - totally second satisfied - For that brief moment...
Lisa Hopkins 21:58
Yeah. It's like you know, you suddenly know what you want?
Mandy Moore 22:02
Yes.
Lisa Hopkins 22:02
And maybe that's where you jump in. And then maybe, maybe that moment where you wake up after your after your, you know, so you jump into the storm, and you do it. And that moment you were describing when you were like what the hell just happened when you're in the mourning period? Maybe that's because... maybe... Let me ask you this question. Here's the coaching.
Mandy Moore 22:20
I love.
Lisa Hopkins 22:21
What if you were able to digest it more slowly?
Mandy Moore 22:26
Hmmm. Oh, that's good. Because that's also in life. I also eat too fast just normally. So this is really a good one to think about. Sometimes it feels like my existence can feel like a Pac Man or miss Pac Man. Or it's like, you're just eating it up eating it up eating it up.
Lisa Hopkins 22:41
Yep.
Mandy Moore 22:41
And then you get like a really big one, and you grow bigger, and then go in, and then you run into a wall and you're done. You know, and I think that's, I don't know, where... it's definitely a learned behavior. I think part of it is my personality. I'm just always gonna be kind of, you know, I'm fast moving. I like things going. But but but, but I think there is a, I hope in this next chapter of my life, I've been thinking about this. I mean, we're talking about this, because I've been thinking about it. Yeah, you know, I wanna Yes, like savoring those moments in a way. And understanding that, even if I'm savoring, it doesn't like, diminish or lessen what it is, you know, and also, this all goes along with like saying, No, you know, taking on projects, taking on situations, living through experiences that are more fulfilling, and better for me, you know, than just eating my way through whatever they are just because of fear that I won't have them or just because I don't want to say now I want to point somebody here. You know,
Lisa Hopkins 23:40
It makes perfect sense. What you're saying to me makes absolute sense. It sounds like yeah, there's there's some limiting beliefs that you're buying into that maybe you set up for yourself when you were young, that helped you like when you were starting out, that now you're still living by and going "Wait, these are not serving me. I don't have to say yes, all the time!" You know, I was gonna ask permission to share this. From the questionnaire, the question. Well, first of all, is it okay if I share something?
Mandy Moore 24:07
Yeah!
Lisa Hopkins 24:07
Okay, great. So I asked, I asked, What, if anything, do you think stands between you and who you want to be? And you said, the inability to say no.
Mandy Moore 24:20
Yeah.
Lisa Hopkins 24:21
Tell me more about that. What would be different if you could say no?
Mandy Moore 24:27
I think that I would feel okay with people being disappointed or my perception of being disappointed because that's a whole nother thing. Yep. is you know, by me saying no, I'm assuming that they're going to be disappointed because it all comes back. I mean, I think it all comes down to like a deep seated, I just want to be loved, right? Like, that's where it comes from. It's like, I just want to be okay, I want I don't want anyone to be mad at me. I'm a good kid, a good egg. You know, it all comes from that. I also feel like I'm so grateful to have opportunity. And when I say, no to something, I feel like I'm slapping that in the face in some way. And so I think it's more about, for me, it's about deciphering what glove I fit into. And saying yes to those things and being okay with the fact that I maybe don't fit into a different kind of a glove. And that it's okay for me to tell the other people that have that glove, I'm actually not the person to fit into this glove. But it's not that I don't want to do the thing. It's just that there's probably somebody better suited. I love all of it. So I really do want to say yes, all the time. But I also know for my health, I can't for my brain, I can't. I'm also a big believer that if I'm not right, somebody else is.
Lisa Hopkins 25:38
The question was, "what, if anything, do you think stands between you and who you want to be?" And you said, the inability to say no, and you've explained that why, you know, there's a lot of compassion in there and all that. But what you haven't really told me is, okay, so who do you want to be?
Mandy Moore 25:55
Oh, that's a good one. I feel like I want to be more present in all areas of my life. A lot of times my kind of world tips into like, I'm really great in work. Yep. Pretty great with my family, my mom and my dad and my sister. My dating life is none. So that's a huge one for me, you know, it's just like finding, like being more present and open to finding a husband, a partner, a boyfriend, any of that. And I found like, in the last definitely, like, 10 years, I think in my life, I've realized, okay, well, can't happen if I work 14 hours a day, you know, and I'm like, face down on a Saturday because I'm so tired from Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Yeah. And that would kind of fill out. My Existence here being open. And not only like, with my time, but probably my energy to to finding a life partner like to me like that's the one. That's where I need to, like, fill out that piece of pie. Or that little part of the chart.
Lisa Hopkins 26:59
Yeah, no, that makes sense. Thank you for sharing that. Yeah. No, I mean, it's, um, look, you're looking for balance. Really? Right. I mean, yes. You've you've been very, you've been very focused. And you've had lots of great relationships, in your work and in your life with your family. And it sounds like yeah, that there's there's room or potentially room if you were to say no, as you said, occasionally to, right, connecting it back to that to to building a little bit more who you want to be. So it's not that you want to change. I'm not hearing that you need to change your thinking, more "I'm ready. Now. I'm feeling like ready to just sort of peel the onion back a little bit numb, and maybe try something. Add a little spice", let's say!
Mandy Moore 27:07
I mean, come on. I never mind adding a little spice up in my life.
Lisa Hopkins 27:49
So, on Zoe's Extraordinary playlist, which I haven't seen. Since we were chatting today, I was I was looking it up. And man, that looks so good.
Mandy Moore 27:57
Ah, it's so fun.
Lisa Hopkins 27:59
So, Zoey understands people's emotions through dance, right?
Mandy Moore 28:02
Yeah. And these heart songs, right, like, so she understands people's, what they're feeling inside. In dance and song.
Lisa 28:11
So I wanted to ask you, so if someone had the superpower to read your unspoken story, or internal monologue ... what song would that be? And why?
Mandy Moore 28:20
I mean, first of all, it would depend on the moment of the day,
Lisa Hopkins 28:23
For sure, of course.
Mandy Moore 28:24
You know, but I think most people would think that I'm emotional, like I am, like, you know, I'm also very, like, high frequency person, right? I think I'm, I really love to laugh. I'm a big personality, I want people to feel accepted and loved in my presence, you know, so I'm very, like, feel like open arms, like, you know, hugging everyone in whenever they're around me. And I think maybe people would be surprised to know that, like, I probably have some sad heart songs in there, you know, but I also have on the other side of it, like some AC DC, like rock and roll shit or something cuz I also have this part of to me inside that I don't think a lot of people know that. I'm like, a little bit of a rebel and a rascal, you know, and I think that might be an interesting thing for people because I think they kind of probably think I'm a little, you know, calm, collected, like, classy. I got my thing, but then I also just, you know, maybe like a Free Bird or something. You know, like a motorcycle rock and roll song.
Lisa Hopkins 29:23
Totally!
Mandy Moore 29:24
I don't know. Because I don't always show that part of me, you know? So yeah, it would be something that people wouldn't know about me inside. And I don't know where that comes from. There's like a little bit of a rebel in there I like to break the mold.
Lisa Hopkins 29:38
I love that. No, it's so funny. Because just from my perspective, if you're interested just to like feed back to you. What was coming up for me is that as I said, you know, again, and this is kind of cool, because we don't know each other. So um, you strike me as a massively compassionate person that you really come from a heart space. I mean, you're obviously a very successful human being, you're very talented. I mean, that's all given. But you are a very compassionate person. And from my point of view, it seems like you don't defer what you do or how you do it, certainly with your work. But you do make choices about how you do stuff, because you take it through the lens of not hurting somebody else, or realizing there are always other opportunities and ways that I can do things that maybe won't hurt a person, but it strikes me that your main lens is that is that "I will shift" - it's an internal shift. It's not something anyone else will notice. But you make your own choices within yourself. Is that- does that sound right?
Mandy Moore 30:45
Oh yes. You hit the nail on the head, my friend. And you know, where I think this comes from is like I can pinpoint the moment it came from. I remember when I was maybe 18, or 19, actually, and I'd moved to LA, and everyone was really into the horoscopes. You know, like the zodiac, right. And so I'm an Aries. And my roommate at the time was really into it. I mean, we would spend hours at night, like, I remember, he would read things about Aries, and I just be like, I don't want to be an Aries. Like, you know, and I remember thinking so many of the traits, I'd be like, I don't want to be that person. Like I don't want to be bossy. I don't want to be selfish. I don't want to be like all these things that were being read about about as an Aries. Yeah, and it's been a conscious thing for me. Like I would say through my definitely since then that I celebrate who I am. And like my, my initial thoughts about things, but I also really try to keep myself in check. Because I know that when under pressure under stress, or under emotion, I can come out like a dragon. And I can - I have the ability to lash out and I just don't do it. Because I know it doesn't really benefit anybody. And I don't like that part of myself. So I just always feel like I; I wouldn't say nothing necessarily, like it's a bad thing. But I for sure, keep myself in check. And so there's like a restraint. So that's probably where this like idea of this rock'n'roll heart song comes from that, you know, I just want to be like, "DAh!!!!"you know, but I know that, that doesn't benefit anyone. And I work that out in other ways in my life, you know, by creating or by singing by screaming by myself...
Lisa Hopkins 32:28
Totally! Just singing.. honestly, almost like a celebration of self.
Mandy Moore 32:33
Yeah.
Lisa Hopkins 32:33
So... so you brought up - it's interesting, because you you pointed out the anger. But again, you're thinking about not being nice to people, and you don't want to be like that. So that's awesome. And that's great that you have that in check. I would proceed further to say, Yeah, but what about what about the, you know, the super rock hero in there that wants to truly celebrate yourself? Not an ego, but just like celebrate that side of yourself.
Mandy Moore 32:54
Right.
Lisa Hopkins 32:55
Which is balanced with the very other song that you chose, right? Which is that beautiful, like sadness, like, you don't want to be sad because you don't want people to have to take care of you because you're always the one taking care of them!
Mandy Moore 33:06
On the nose again, Lisa!
Lisa Hopkins 33:09
(laughing) sorry!
Mandy Moore 33:11
You should do this as a profession!
Lisa Hopkins 33:16
What inspires you to get up in the morning?
Mandy Moore 33:18
Ah, life.
Lisa Hopkins 33:19
Mmm.
Mandy Moore 33:19
I love life. Every day inspires me to get up. You know, I've never been the person that initially comes from being a little kid. I can get knocked down 105 times and the next day I wake up and it's like, it never happened. I've always been very resilient. And I really love life. I love the ups and downs. I love the laughter the sadness, I love the being unsure. I love creating I love music, I get to dance all day, every day, you know, so for me, that's, that's why I get up
Lisa Hopkins 33:47
What keeps you up at night?
Mandy Moore 33:48
I think the only thing that would keep me up at night would be if I felt like I behaved in a way that was miscommunicated to somebody and I didn't say something like I feel bad if I feel like somebody perceived something I said or did in a way that may have upset them. You know and sometimes then I'll be like, man, I gotta go talk to them tomorrow. That's really the only kinds of thing that keeps me up, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 34:12
Wow. I'm saying wow, cuz "A" - that's awesome. I mean... but I'm saying wow, because okay, if I'm hearing you correctly, you work hard ; you play hard.
Mandy Moore 34:20
Yeah.
Lisa Hopkins 34:20
So you you work really hard. You love life. You get up in the morning, you go full throttle, so you play full out and then you crash and burn and the only thing that really keeps you up is if maybe something you've done to somebody else or said some somebody that might have crossed a line or made you be that Aries person that you hate.
Mandy Moore 34:41
Yes, you're exactly right or I was playing so fill out that in my full outness maybe hurt somebody's feelings and I didn't even know. I don't think I have a malicious bone in my body. I would never consciously say something or do something to hurt someone or to disappoint someone or to like brush them off. It's just that because I'm moving a million miles an hour sometimes I don't know that I did that. And then I feel awful afterwards.
Lisa Hopkins 35:09
Totally. And that really speaks to what you shared earlier about how you're kind of looking for - not slowing down, but rather tasting everything, adding different spices to to the menu and having room for it. I don't know why we're talking about food. I guess I'm hungry. But like, this metaphor of like, your life has been very full. Like if you think of it like a big stew, right? It's full and it's bubbling most of the time.
Mandy Moore 35:36
Yeah.
Lisa Hopkins 35:37
Right. You boil faster because you don't say no and so put all this stuff in and in order for it not to overflow, you have to boil the hell out of it so that it condenses.
Mandy Moore 35:47
Yep.
Lisa Hopkins 35:47
And what you're looking for, it sounds like, is to be on a more steady simmer, where you can pick and choose different spices and different flavors to add to it and yet still have this real solid pot of deliciousness in your life. Is that right?
Mandy Moore 36:02
Yeah, yeah. And choose the things. Yes, exactly.
Lisa Hopkins 36:07
Yeah, so it makes sense that it makes perfect sense that you operate that way because it you probably, that's probably how you got to your to your success. So there's going to be a real comfortability about, "well, this is how I do it". You know, you're trying to do everything.
Mandy Moore 36:22
It's true. I'm like, either 100 miles an hour or I'm like, face down zero. Yeah, I don't know how to do 30 don't know how to do a Sunday drive!
Lisa Hopkins 36:31
If it's something you're excited about, does that keep you up? Or do you stay up?
Mandy Moore 36:36
Oh, good question. Um,
Lisa Hopkins 36:37
You know what? I mean?
Mandy Moore 36:38
No, I'm with you. Like, I wouldn't say I stay up, but I get up.
Lisa Hopkins 36:43
Yeah.
Mandy Moore 36:43
if I'm excited about something. I'll be up at 4am.
Lisa Hopkins 36:46
What do you know will be true about you, no matter what happens?
Mandy Moore 36:50
I think I'll always be good. No matter what, like, I'm always gonna be good. I'll figure it out.
Lisa Hopkins 36:55
By good do you mean, you're always gonna be okay?
Mandy Moore 36:57
Yeah,
I feel like I've learned that even in the lowest or the highest, it's still all gonna come back to like, the middle. You know, like, I'm, I'm okay, this chapter of my life. I've been trying to really live the highs and really live the lows, because I think naturally, I've got a lot of highs and lows in life or like a lot of success. And then things that are like, ooo, that's rough. That hurts or a little heartbreak. And I feel like I because of this full-outness, I live a lot of highs and lows. And there was a time that I think that was really hard for me. So I just kind of lived in the nothing. Like I was just in the straight and narrow. And so I didn't really want to feel this. And I didn't want to feel this.
Lisa Hopkins 37:35
So you were numb.
Mandy Moore 37:37
Yes. And I came out of that. And I feel now like in my 40s I'm like, I really want to live this and I really want to live this. But in the end no matter what, if I'm high or low, it's all gonna be good. It's all gravy. Like I'm okay, cuz I have lived the highs and the lows, and I feel good. Like, I think no matter what I'm gonna be okay.
Lisa Hopkins 37:57
I think that's your superpower. Imean, that's resiliency, right? Yeah. Where does that come from?
Mandy Moore 38:04
Um, probably some childhood stuff. Like my mom and dad are awesome. Always just kind of have this odd, like the sun will come out tomorrow. I think no matter what, even if it's terrible the night before or it's really great. Tomorrow is a new day. And until that stops being the truth, until our world is done and there is no tomorrow - it's gonna be okay. We'll figure it out. You know, I got another chance tomorrow to be better to be worse or whatever it is. It's gonna be what it is.
Lisa Hopkins 38:31
Totally.Yeah. So how do you want to be remembered?
Mandy Moore 38:36
A definitely as someone who is kind, who was living life to the fullest, like, that's a big one. Loved learning and loved teaching. Loved sharing. I think in a way, it's like someone who made life just this much better by being in it.
Lisa Hopkins 38:58
Mm hmm.
Mandy Moore 38:59
Yeah. I mean, it's To me, it's never been about like, Oh, she created this or one that like, Whatever I do, even if I didn't win or create, it's fine. I think it's more about like, yeah, for me like feeling like, Hey, I was better for knowing Mandy.
Lisa Hopkins 39:13
Yeah, that's beautiful. Oh, I should ask you this. And then we've got to start wrapping up, which I don't want to do cuz I'm enjoying myself too much, but. And you're too nice to say...
Mandy Moore 39:22
No, I like this!
Lisa Hopkins 39:23
What's your go to feel good empowerment song? Because you're a real music person.
Mandy Moore 39:28
Oh my gosh, I know. It's almost not a fair question. Because I spend my whole life with music all day, every day.
Lisa Hopkins 39:32
Your current one what's your current one? Cuz I'm sure it probably changes, right?
Mandy Moore 39:36
It does
Lisa Hopkins 39:36
Yeah
Mandy Moore 39:36
there's actually this song I love by this band called Little Chief. It's called Mountain Song.
Lisa Hopkins 39:41
Okay,
Mandy Moore 39:42
it's got these beautiful drums in it. And the build is incredible. And it just reminds me of being a kid in Colorado and driving with my dad and seeing the Sunrise over the mountains. Like it's just one of those songs. You're like, Yes, I think I could climb mountains listening to the song. It just really love it. It's so beautiful.
Lisa Hopkins 39:58
Do you use it as a sort of tool for yourself sometimes like, do you actually consciously choose to play it? Oh, yeah,
Mandy Moore 40:06
I do that with a lot of songs. You know, I have hundreds of playlists. My house is always filled with music. And that's one thing I noticed about myself lately. I was like, I don't think everybody's like this.
You know, I have music going all the time.
Lisa Hopkins 40:19
Yeah.
All right. So I'm going to say "what makes you" and I'm just going to pull out a word and whatever first thing comes to your head or - take your time or whatever. There are no rules. Okay? So, what makes you hungry?
Mandy Moore 40:32
I don't know if I know the word for this. Umm Inability?
Lisa Hopkins 40:36
Oh, I get it!
Mandy Moore 40:37
Yeah.
Lisa Hopkins 40:38
So that makes you hungry. Because you want more - you want to eat - you want to learn?
Mandy Moore 40:42
Yeah, I want to learn.
Lisa Hopkins 40:44
So you feel starved when you have the inability? I guess, say does that sound right?
Mandy Moore 40:49
For sure. Yeah.
Lisa Hopkins 40:50
Got it.
Mandy Moore 40:51
that's right.
Mandy Moore 40:52
I know. I was like, I know there's a word for this. Like...
Lisa Hopkins 40:55
no, it makes sense!
Mandy Moore 40:55
Feeling like the connection here.
Lisa Hopkins 40:57
No, I hear you. I hear you. And of course, what a surprise. It's a food metaphor. Okay. Um, okay. What makes you laugh?
Mandy Moore 41:03
Life moments.
Lisa Hopkins 41:06
What makes you cry?
Mandy Moore 41:07
Um, connection.
Lisa Hopkins 41:09
Hmm. Beautiful. What makes you inspired
Mandy Moore 41:14
Happiness.
Lisa Hopkins 41:15
Frustrated?
Mandy Moore 41:16
Miscommunication.
Lisa Hopkins 41:17
Motivated?
Mandy Moore 41:18
Experiences.
Lisa Hopkins 41:21
Mad?
Mandy Moore 41:22
Ignorance
Lisa Hopkins 41:23
and grateful...
Mandy Moore 41:25
Life.
Lisa Hopkins 41:27
Yeah, amen. What are the top three things that happened so far today?
Mandy Moore 41:31
Let's see, I went to my favorite coffee shop here Prado and I got eggs on toast and a latte and it's absolutely heaven. Second thing I facetimed with my mom, dad, my sister had a little catchup. It was really beautiful. And then third, I got to chat with you. This is really awesome. My brain and my heart think. I liked it.
Lisa Hopkins 41:50
Oh, ditto. Oh, it's been like an absolute pleasure. No, really? I cannot. No, I cannot thank you enough. What do you most looking forward to today?
Mandy Moore 42:00
Oh, take a little moment of reflection. Just think about what just happened. I think that's good. And then, I think I'm gonna take a walk. I love a walk. It's just by the sea, you can just go walk for a while, listen to some music. So I'm gonna do that.
Lisa Hopkins 42:11
Yeah, no, absolutely. That sounds amazing. Mandy again. I so appreciate you taking time to be in the moment with me today. Really? It's been tremendous. Yay.
Mandy Moore 42:21
It's been beautiful- thank you, Lisa!
Mandy Moore 42:21
It's been beautiful- thank you, Lisa!
Lisa Hopkins 42:23
I've been speaking today with Mandy Moore. Thanks for listening. Stay safe and healthy everyone and remember to live in the moment. In music, stop time and that beautiful moment where the band is suspended and rhythmic unison, supporting the soloist to express their individuality. In the moment, I encourage you to take that time and create your own rhythm. Until next time, I'm Lisa Hopkins. Thanks for listening.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai