Here's the TEA About Reactive Behavior ☕️⚡️🧠

Have you ever wondered why you keep falling into the same reactive patterns? The answer lies in understanding the TEA method—Thought, Emotion, Action—and how these three elements flow together when we're operating on autopilot.

When we react without awareness, there's virtually no space between our thoughts, emotions, and the actions we take. We gulp down the TEA without checking if it's too hot, metaphorically speaking, and get burned by our own reactions. This pulls our focus away from possibilities and toward pain, creating a cycle that's difficult to break. For instance, thinking "My best isn't good enough" triggers sadness or shame, leading to withdrawal or self-soothing behaviors. Similarly, thoughts like "I never get opportunities" generate resentment, manifesting as sarcasm or feigned indifference.

The good news? We can transform this reactive cycle by adding SUGAR to our TEA—a powerful acronym that creates space for intentional response. Stop to catch the thought. Unhook from reactive thinking, remembering thoughts are energy, not your identity. Ground yourself with breath. Ask what else is true beyond your initial thought. Recognize that reactions limit your access to energetic choice and possibilities. While reactive behavior becomes visible through external triggers, it originates internally from our lived experiences and limiting beliefs.

By recognizing our patterns and stirring a little SUGAR into our TEA, we create the spaciousness needed for growth—that vital space where energetic choice lives and possibility returns. This awareness helps us break free from limiting patterns and access our power to live a created life rather than a default future. Subscribe now to explore more tools for transforming reactive patterns into conscious choices!

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to TEA: Thought, Emotion, Action
• 1:33 Examples of Reactive Behaviors
• 3:28 The SUGAR Method Explained
• 5:45 Creating Space for Possibility
• 7:05 Closing Thoughts and Reflection

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:23

Hey there. So here's the T about reactive behavior, and when I say T, I'm serving it up with an acronym Thought, emotion action. You see, t-e-a thought, emotion action. It's something that's important to understand about the way we operate. That's important to understand about the way we operate. Here's how it works A thought arises, and that thought triggers an emotion, and that emotion drives the next action that we take.

Speaker 1: 1:11

When we're in reactive mode, though, there's little to no space between the three, little to no space between the thought, the emotion and the action. We act automatically, from a habitual defensive stance. We take the tea down in one gulp, so to speak, without checking to see if it's too hot. We skip the part about using our breath to cool it down, literally and figuratively, and instead we blow our top Burned by our own reaction. Our focus is then pulled away from possibilities and toward what's painful. Is that making sense? Let me give you an example.

Speaker 1: 1:52

So let's say you had a thought. Your thought is my best is not good enough. Well, that might cause you to feel the emotion of sadness or shame. And when you feel sad or shamed. And when you feel sad or shamed, well, the action you might take might look like withdrawing or giving up, maybe binging Netflix or eating copious amounts of ice cream. I'll give you another example. Thought might be I never get the opportunities that everybody else does. Well, when you say that to yourself, the associated emotion might be anger or resentment. And when you're feeling angry or resentful, well, the action you might take could be something like firing off a sarcastic text, or ranting to a friend, or even pretending that you just don't care, when it's very likely that you do. So you can see that when we react without slowing down, we limit ourselves to the same pattern behaviors over and over again and shrink our capacity for energetic choice. Well, the good news, the good news is that we can sweeten the situation by adding yet another acronym, by adding a little sugar to our proverbial tea. So here's the acronym to help you create space between your thought, your emotion and your action, because, as I like to say, possibility lies in the places where there are spaces. See what I did just there.

Speaker 1: 3:36

So here it is the S in sugar. Well, it's stop, stop long enough to catch the thought. Just notice, it's amazing how much that can help. The you in sugar is unhook Unhook from the reactive thought. Remember, thoughts are energy and you are not your thoughts. So don't let your thoughts and your emotions drag you into reactive behavior. Unhook from that reactive thought, take the space. Remember thoughts are energy and you are not your thoughts. The G in sugar is ground. Take a beat and ground yourself. Breathe. Just ground yourself, take a beat and breathe.

Speaker 1: 4:42

The A in sugar is ask. Ask yourself what else is true. What else is true when you say things to yourself like I never get the opportunities that my colleagues do? Ask yourself what else is true. Maybe you remember, maybe you remember all the things that you have had the opportunities to do. Maybe you think about. Maybe it's time to share some of the opportunities with others. There's so many different ways you could go that would cause a different associated emotion.

Speaker 1: 5:23

Finally, the R in sugar is recognize, recognize that by reacting so quickly, you are limiting yourself and your access, and your access not only to more energetic choice but to endless possibilities to living a created life rather than a default future. And it's important to note before I sign off that reactive behavior is most visible in response to external triggers, but it originates internally. It stems from the influence of our lived experience and the assumptions, interpretations and the limiting beliefs that we've gathered in our journey. We'll talk more about those inner blocks on another episode. In the meantime, just remember this when we start to recognize our patterns, when we can trace the tea and stir in a little sugar, we begin to create the spaciousness that we need to grow, the space where energetic choice lives, that space where possibility returns. I'm Lisa Hopkins. Thanks so much for listening. Stay safe and healthy, everyone, and remember to live in the moment.