How to Let Go of What You Can’t Control

As the year winds down, many of us find ourselves feeling heavier—not physically, but energetically. In this episode, I explore the idea of psychological baggage: the unprocessed memories, regrets, worries, hopes, and fears we’ve grown used to carrying as if they’re part of who we are.

Drawing from Chapter 24 of my book, The Places Where There Are Spaces, I share an excerpt that invites us to consider a lighter way of traveling through life—one where no extra baggage is required, and where curiosity replaces judgment.

I close the episode with a simple, powerful exercise to help you distinguish between what you can control and what you can’t, and to consciously put down what was never yours to hold in the first place.

Because when we release responsibility for what’s beyond our control, we reclaim energy for what truly matters.

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Chapters

• 0:46 Naming Psychological Weight
• 2:21 Reading From The Book
• 3:38 Thoughts Are Just Energy
• 4:57 Control vs No Control Exercise
• 7:18 Release, Reclaim, And Close

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:23

Hey there. You know, as the holiday season comes around and the year is coming to an end, it occurs to me that it might be really useful to really check in right now with well, what's weighing us down? What would you have to let go of to shed the extra weight that you're carrying right now? I'm not talking about body or physical weight. I'm talking about psychological weight. Is it possible that we've gotten so used to carrying around our unprocessed baggage that we've accepted it as part of who we are? What would be different if we could put it down? There's a weight that we carry from the past in memories and regrets, but there's also the weight that we hold about our unknown futures, which is often attached to hopes and fears. Like bags that we overpack when we're going somewhere with items that we think we might need. It is energy spent worrying about something that doesn't exist anymore, or hoping for something that hasn't even happened yet. Like the airlines, there's a price to pay for overweight baggage. I'm going to go ahead and continue to read something from my book, The Places Where There Are Spaces. And this is chapter 24, Unpacking What Weighs Us Down. I'm just going to pick up from where I left off. Like the bags that we overpack with items we think we might need, it is energy spent worrying about something that doesn't exist anymore or hoping for something that hasn't even happened yet. Like the airlines, there's a price to pay for the overweight baggage, and it's costing us dearly. We've grown understandably weary from operating this way. Well, the good news is there's a lighter way to travel through life. It's a journey where no baggage is required. You've already got everything you need. So let's start unpacking. It's time to be your own travel guide and make a reservation to journey inward to spend some much needed time with yourself. Let go of any fear or judgment and tap into the excitement of going somewhere new. Remind yourself that like any new place we go, there are always new things to discover. Get curious. Start to unpack what's in there. Unchecked baggage is often packed so tightly that things get shoved down and we forget why we why we brought it with us in the first place. Notice what starts to unfold as you recognize the thoughts, memories, hopes, and fears. Well, for what they really are. Energy. Your thoughts, like everything else, are just energy. They aren't directives. You don't need to do anything about them, and you certainly don't need to take them with you. Listen, we can't control so many things around us, but we can make choices about how we want to travel through this life. We all arrive at the same destination in the end. It's up to us what we experience along the way. I encourage you to journey inward and unpack the extra weight you've been carrying and to lighten up and enjoy the ride. From where I'm sitting, you've got nothing to lose and everything to gain. So that was an excerpt from my book, and I'm going to give you a little exercise. First of all, I'd like to ask you, as I do in the book, how much time do you spend worrying about things that you cannot control? Grab a piece of paper, make two columns. One for things I can control and one things that I can't. Some things that you can control might be my effort, my boundaries, how I speak to myself, where I place my energy, the next small choice, how I rest and reset. Populate it however you feel comfortable. And in the things I can't control, you can include things like other people's reactions, timing, outcomes, past decisions, being liked or understood, how quickly things change. Whatever comes to mind, I invite you just to populate these columns with things that you can control and things that you can't. And when you're ready, circle anything in the right column that you've been carrying anyway, even though it's something you can't control. The invitation is to star one item that you're ready to put down today. And if you've chosen it, I invite you to say, or write, I release responsibility for, and then I reclaim energy for. Because when you release responsibility of things that you cannot control, you create space for more energy that you can reclaim and repurpose for something that you choose. I release responsibility for, and I reclaim energy for. If you feel like it, you can tear off the right column, crossed out the starred item, physically place the paper down. Whatever feels right. Just because you've been carrying something doesn't mean it's yours to hold. I'm Lisa Hopkins. Stay safe and healthy, everyone. And remember to live in the moment.