TSSL - Episode 12 - More Tips & Customer Service Skills

This week we talk about some quick and easy tips to help you oil the gears of your daily social interactions. We also talk about why it's important to bring your whole game to the table, not to do things half a**ed and how to take a compliment. We also go into dealing with customer service and how to put your skills into action to get your $ back. 


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Transcript

Unknown: 0:56

Baby running away from the party I'm thinking much in the backseat for the Powerball we could do it with the winning your newest games awesome. She's singing along man. And just when it couldn't get better, she talked to my ear saying you got the chin. You got the juice, you have the bicep, and you walk in the right way sundown on a highway, you know the feeling baby. Talking Welcome back to another episode of the social skills lab. I'm your host, Nathan augment. This is episode number 12. On Oh man. Last week, we talked about having a good attitude and talked a little bit about playing the skills I want to talk about attitude again, real quick. One of the big things was I talked about was not complaining about stuff. And it happened again this week, I had another supervisor, he may call and asked me to go take this job that was a couple hours away. He said it was actually another technician is closer, but he's like, Man, I'm just sick of that guy complaining. He's like Nate, you don't ever complain. I was like, Oh, yeah, thanks. I haven't even been at this job a long time. And that's the second time it's come up that I don't complain. It's a it's, it's such a it's a big thing for management. They, they can tell when someone doesn't complain, I think for the most part, because I hear they just try to avoid the guys that complain, I think something else about attitude is try not to be petty. It's really easy to be petty about stuff complain about little things. Like one of the things that comes up a lot is when you're driving on the freeway, someone cuts you off on the freeway. It's so easy to get super pissed off about that. But it really only affects you. So the best thing to do is just to get over it right away. I just tried to, like imagine that the person that cut me off, is driving like a maniac because he's trying to get to the hospital because his fiance was in a car accident. That way. I'm like, Oh, well, yeah, that makes sense. And it's totally in my imagination. But you know, it could be true. I kind of just try to remember that everyone is doing the best that they can with what they were given. Like I was, you know, I was I wasn't, I was pretty poor growing up. But I always had a house. And I had a caring mother. So I just tried to picture that other people that are like, assholes or jerks or whatever, that they didn't have. Even those things, so it makes it more difficult for me to judge them if I really try to keep that on my mind. Another thing about having a good attitude I wanted to mention is I've heard this before, I think it was from like, Who was it? Oh, it was from Suze Orman. She's like a famous financial adviser. She said to donate money to a good cause. It's really good for your psychology to donate money to a good cause. It just makes you feel more powerful or something like that. It also helps you have a better attitude. If you're a generous person and, you know, trying to help people that cannot help you in return. That's just a really good thing to do. I know that. Something I would add to that is if you donate money, don't go around telling everyone Oh hey, I donated 100 bucks to this and you know trying to get accolades for it. Just do it and do it anonymously. There's something to it. When you donate anonymously. We also talked about applying the skills about actually going out there and trying the stuff that you're learning. That's really the only way you're going to get better. It's the only way you're going to actually understand why. Especially a lot of the counter intuitive stuff. It's really the only way you're gonna understand why It works. And you'll be motivated to do it more, you'll remember it, you'll do it the next time, I'd say that there's a expression. That's good to remember in this in this area. It's perfect practice makes perfect. So it's not just practice makes perfect. It's perfect. Practice makes perfect. I mean, you want to bring everything you got. Bring your whole self give 100% when you're applying these skills, don't just do it like half assed. Don't just be like, Alright, I'll try it out, and then go, and then it doesn't work. You're like, see, you told you didn't work? I mean, you want to bring it all. If you really want to get good at this, put all your effort into when you're actually applying it. Put all your effort into it. I mean, for one, you'll probably get better results for to kind of like the expression that nothing matters, and everything matters. So it's like, the way you tie your shoes. I mean, are you actually tying it really well? Are you just kind of like just do it real quick. Because everything I've noticed that people that kind of do certain things crappy, do everything crappy. I mean, anytime you do something, not just social skills, but put more effort into, into doing things really well. It just translates all across your life. Every time like if you brush your teeth, if you floss, make sure you floss. Do it very well. Don't just put like minimum effort into it. Everything. Every minor thing you do will matter. Okay? So just remember that. Okay, so this week, I want to talk about some interpersonal skills. And then also start with some tips. Just some little things. I remember. I noticed recently that I was getting a little anxious because of all the smoke and the fires and the pandemic. And I noticed that I remembered that and I'm like, Man, I'm really feeling like, physically crappy. And every time I was doing that, I was like, Okay, why? Okay, my breathing is really shallow. I've noticed that anytime I feel anxious or nervous, the first thing that happens is, I start breathing very rapidly and not very deep. So I'm like, okay, focus on your breathing. And I'll just focus on breathing in and out very slowly. I'll take my time. Just chill out. And just like do that just in and out real slowly for usually about a minute. And next thing you know, I'm like, oh, okay, I feel okay. Like, it starts with a thought. And then the thought makes you nervous. And it fit manifests physically in your in the way you breathe. So you can undo it by focusing on your breathing, getting back to breathing normally, or even very calmly, and it'll chill you out and make you physically feel better. So if you're feeling nervous at all, like even right now, if you're feeling a little anxious, skin posit, try it out. Just breathe in and out real slowly, usually about two and a half seconds, maybe three seconds for an in breath. Hold it for like two seconds and then let it out for like two seconds, three seconds, back and forth. Okay, some, something I picked up along the way is how to be neutral in a conversation. Like we talked about people talking crap about each other gossiping and stuff like that. You'll find yourself in those situations where someone is, like talking bad about someone. For me, it usually happens at work. Someone is talking about about someone else at work. I've noticed that. There's a couple ways I'll handle that I'll either just, if I like the person. I'll sometimes speak up for him. I'll defend him. Or I'll just bring up I'm like, Oh, yeah. Oh, that's interesting. Like, I don't know, every time I work with him, he seems pretty cool. I've never had any issues with them. I'll keep it kind of short. But I'll make sure to say something about that. That way, the person I don't know, I'll just stick up for a person if I if I don't think that the complaint is justified. But another way I'll handle it, sometimes is I'll just be very neutral. Like if someone is saying something, I'll just go like, or I'll be like, Huh, you know, just like nod my head a little bit and just go that way. The person who's talking to me, knows I'm listening to them. I'm acknowledging what they're saying. But I'm, what I'm acknowledging with is a neutral a neutral expression. So So they feel like they're being heard, but they cannot pinpoint if you agree with them or not. Because you didn't actually say, an acknowledgement of the statement, you're just going, huh. And I use that a lot. I'll just do that when someone's talking to me sometimes not to deflect an answer. But just as an acknowledgement. Something else to that I found is a good neutral responses saying that's cool. Like I saw this, I used to say this anyways, but then I also saw it on the 70 show. Like the guy hide, there was like, I don't know, there was actually a scene where they were talking about it, where hide would never acknowledge anything, he would just say, that's cool. And it works pretty good. Someone says something, and you don't want to agree or disagree. Like sometimes someone's like, Hey, we're going to go camping next weekend, I'll just be like, Oh, that's cool. Like not saying, if I want to go or not. Just because like, I'm like, Well, I need to think about it if I want to go or not. And then I'll let them know if I want to go or not. It's the same. That's cool. Or Oh, that's are cool. Cool, cool. You just say that, it's a good way to be neutral. Another tip is, take a compliment. Sometimes someone will say something nice to you. And the best way to respond is Oh, thank you. That's it. I noticed a lot of times when I'll say something nice about someone, they'll deflect, or they'll downplay it. I don't know, sometimes it's it's good modesty. But most of the time, it's just like, you know, just take the compliment, you don't have to like act like you just show that it just kind of like it kind of just oozes low self esteem, when you won't take a compliment. So just take a compliment. It's nice for the mean of the person who's going out of the way to give you a compliment, you should at least say thank you. Just you know, you keep it short, you don't have to, like, make a whole speech or anything, just say, Oh, thanks, I appreciate it. Another thing too, is like when I'm at work a lot. I used to work in offices a lot. And I help someone and they're like, or go to a department see someone I know. And they were like, oh, here you want some, they'll have like a little bowl of candy or they'll have like, extra food or something like that. Most of the time, when they offer it to me, I'll just I'll I'll take it. And I'll say thank you. A lot of times, I wouldn't eat it though, like, I don't know, just like give it to someone else or something like that. I noticed that if someone offers you something as a gift, socially, a good response is just to accept the gift. Even if you don't want it. It's a I don't know, it's just something I learned that if you offer someone something, and they decline it, even if it's very politely, you get a slight tinge of rejection. So don't, don't respond with a rejection, just accept the gift and then give it to someone, give it to someone else if you don't want it or something like that. Another little tip is the eyebrow flash, I got this out of the body language for dummies book, it's you just raise your eyebrows. Like if I'm saying hello to someone lift my eyebrows real quick. It's called the eyebrow flash. And has something to do with making your eyes look bigger, like a baby has really big eyes. They think it has something to do with that. That I think that's a really good way to just be more expressive using an eyebrow flash. I noticed that I do it a lot. Now, after I read that, and I think it works. I used to work with this salesperson Her name was Tessie. And she had landed a very big account. It was like a multi million dollar account. So I was helping her at the beginning with the installs at the hospitals. And and I noticed that when she was talking to me occasionally, like let's picture, I'm standing somewhere, she would be standing next to me and we're both facing outwards. I've heard that too, that sometimes it's good to stand next to a person as to as opposed to facing them. Because it's kind of like both of you are facing the problem together. I've heard that somewhere. But she would be standing next to me. And with her right arm, she would reach up and just take a hold of my left elbow. Or like right above my elbow, she would decide to take a hold. It was kinda like a little kid would do sometimes if they're just trying to hold on to you. And I remember the first time she did it, I was like holy cow. This is like very endearing. So she would like reach up, take my elbow and then she would start telling me something. I guess if she really wanted you to listen to what she was saying she would do that. And I noticed that she did this with several people like the customer. The the guy came Me handling account or other people, I'd see that she would do this. And I've never actually really seen it done before. But I remember it worked really well like creates a bridge of communication. You really pay attention when someone does it. So I've never actually done that specifically, I don't know if it. I don't know if it just works for women doing that to men. But I know that sometimes when I'm talking to a friend of mine, I'll put my arm up on a shoulder, my right arm up on his left shoulder or something like that, and I'll be talking to him. And I know, it just works really well. It's like bridging communication. So it's like a little tip for you. Another one is, I had this friend who, let's say I'd be talking to him at a at a bar or something like that. If a friend came up, and I would introduce them to another person, he would, you know, he had like, pretty good body language, and his chin was up a little bit. And when he would say what's up to this person, he would just raise it real quick, like, like a nod. But just he would go up and back down with his chin still kind of up. So it'd be like what's up. And I noticed that it's worked pretty well, it's like, instantly kind of respected him. He would do this when he would say, introduce himself to people. So I kind of adopted that too, I would do that. Sometimes. It's kind of like, you know, some people, though, like, when you meet them, they kind of like bow their head a little bit. He actually this was like the exact opposite of a bow, he would like raises Chin up a little bit without like jetting it out too much. I thought it worked really well. Another thing about when I meet someone, before the pandemic, when you would shake someone's hand, occasionally I'd meet someone or someone we introduced to me. And I would shake their hand. And, you know, obviously, it's good to have a good handshake, nice and solid, firm grip, and not like super hard. And this usually would start out with like a weak handshake, like they would just like, give you like a, I don't know, or just like a flimsy handshake. And then they wouldn't keep eye contact, like I would notice it, if someone doesn't hold eye contact. Like they'll like go to shake your hand. And then those kind of like, I don't know, it just feels like dismissive. If they're not gonna like hold eye contact. So make sure you hold good eye contact when you shake someone's hand because the feeling I get when someone does that, to me is I can't trust this guy. Maybe Maybe that's the maybe that's not the best discernment of this individual's character. But I don't know, that's the feeling I get. So make sure you hold eye contact with someone, it's good to smile too. But if you're not going to smile, at least hold good eye contact at the bare minimum. One last little tip, I make sure to look at words all the time. So anytime I hear a word, I'll just go pick up my iPhone, I'll be like, hey, Siri, define blah, blah, blah. And my phone that was my phone. It's displayed on your iPhone. Alright, thanks, Siri. But cell to say that and then I'll look up the word and then bam, I expand my vocabulary. So it's good to expand your vocabulary, it allows you to be more expressive, I think, I don't know, it actually is good for your emotions, too. Because the more you're able to define something, the more you're able to express certain things. So I'd say just constantly look up words, I usually don't look up words that are like just so out there that only someone who has a PhD is going to understand it, I just try to look at words that I occasionally hear, but I don't know what they mean. It's just a good thing to do. Okay, so let's talk real quickly, too, about some interpersonal skills. I think it's good to have those two. So my customer service skills. I, when I was like 22 years old, I worked in a call center while I was going to school, and I got a lot of really good experience in customer service. Working at this call center, we've talked about a couple of these things before, but let's go over it again. So if I had a customer, first thing you do is listen, if they have a complaint, or an issue, you want to listen, make sure you don't interrupt them. I've seen this happen just so many times where a co worker will be dealing with an angry customer, the customer starts telling them telling them what what the problem is. And then the do usually a technician because technicians are good at technical technical skills, but they're not that great with customer service skills. And they would interrupt them usually several times and the customer would just get more mad. So make sure you just listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, keep listening. Sometimes it'll be giving you a lot of information, like if I'm in, it's different if you're on the phone with a customer, but a lot of times I'd be in person talking to a customer, and I always carried a clipboard with me to write information down. So if they're given me a lot of information, I would just start writing it down on the clipboard, but usually, I would just stand there with my arms to the side, I would not cross my arms, I'd hold very good eye contact with the person. So they know I'm really listening to what they're saying. And then I would give them feedback like, Oh, yeah, okay, what else is going on, you know, anything else you're having problems with or whatever. Just make sure you're given a lot of feedback, make sure they know that you're giving them 100% of your of your attention. That's the main thing. Usually, if they're complaining, they'll talk themselves out after about a minute or two, doesn't really take that long to convey a lot of information. So it only usually takes like maybe one to three minutes for them to say everything they're going to say. Occasionally, you'll have someone that will talk probably for like 15 minutes if you let them. But I've noticed, you can kind of tell those people because they'll start repeating the same information over and over again. And I really don't have time for that. So I in those rare situations, I will cut them off more like I'll guide the conversation into immediately addressing their specific issues, I'll tell them what I'm going to do about each thing. I'll be like, Oh, you know, I'm going to do this, this or this, or I'm going to have to call someone to talk to my manager, figure out what we're going to do. Or you know, just give them some feedback of what how you're going to start addressing their issue. They're usually pretty cool. A lot of times they'll be thanking me by the time I'm done, even though I haven't actually done anything. So it's a good sign that it's working. Another good tip on that is use reflective listening. So when they start telling me right off the bat with pissing them off so much, pretty quickly to say, huh, that sounds Yeah, that sounds like that'd be very frustrating. And they'll say, yeah, it is very frustrating. And then they'll be like, Oh, this guy actually was listening to me. works really well. I use that a lot. Our flecked that I'll try to pinpoint the emotion that they are experiencing because of the situation. And I'll say that to them. I'm like, oh, wow, that sounds like that'd be super annoying to have to deal with that. It seems to work really well. So reflect content, reflect emotion, and then give them your plan of action. And if they're still pretty pissed off, I'll usually just like call my supervisor or my manager afterwards and be like, hey, just giving you a heads up. I had this customer that was really pissed off. I told him, he told me this. I told him that. And yeah, he was pretty mad about this. So that just gives your, usually, at least some places where I've worked, it's good to give your management a heads up just in case I get a call about it, they'll know all about it makes you look good, too. Since I worked in a call center, I got a pretty good idea of what all call call centers are like. So anytime that I'm trying to resolve an issue, or the, you know, I'll talk to the customer service person. And I could kind of get a feel pretty quickly if they're going to be able to help me or not. And if they're not, I'll just ask for a supervisor. And they're usually pretty good about making that happen pretty quickly. And the reason why I do that is because it's usually the supervisor who has more access codes, more pass codes to get into deeper into your account, and they're actually able to refund money. So I'll just, I don't like wasting my time on the phone. So I'll just ask for a supervisor pretty quick. There's been times where even the supervisor can't help me and I'll ask for their supervisor. Like I went to IKEA to get a lamp. And then when I got the lamp home, it was like very dim, it wasn't very bright. And so I went back to IKEA to return it and they're like, oh, sorry, we don't take any lighting back is just like some weird policy about no lights can come back. You will not get your money back. And so I made so I asked for a supervisor. When I was talking to a supervisor. I said, Look, I liked the lamp. And on the show room. It looked like it was a good lamp. But when I got it home, it's like a terrible lamp. It's like super dim, it's completely useless. And there's no way to tell that on the show floor because it's around 10 other lamps. So Looks like it's nice and bright. And after talking to him for a minute, he gave me my money back. So I'd say got about a 50% success rate of getting my money back in different situations, but sometimes, almost all the time, you're gonna have to talk to a supervisor. And so that's just a good tip. I use it a lot. I talk to supervisors quite a bit, but I always try to be nice to the person. The first person, I'm just, I don't really get mad at them, they're just doing their job. For the most part, sometimes if they're really bad, like, if they keep cutting me off, that makes me a little annoyed, but for the most part, it's not too bad. So I think that's gonna be it for this week. Next week, we're gonna be talking about storytelling. And we'll talk a little bit about status. So hope you guys have an awesome week. Get out there and have some fun and don't take yourself too seriously. Take care. from a past life took the right path from the wrong night to Japan taking this right what a bizarre life a pull up a car ride. It's a Mustang with the beats Where have you seen him what it look like? Oh, women take for granted. Upper Milan and a kitten issue for the moon in the stars numerous broth beautiful being the key to be two people with the lucky young linen and the nice to see the breast out. So now I'm thinking that life is better with buddy you bet on the brother You win blacksmiths in a tank tops with the eight ball and if it was a vu, we could be if it was a vu we could be