How to face relationship and COVID challenges

I am really excited to be speaking with Henrike Schreer, a qualified Life Coach, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner and Hypnotherapist. I asked her what she would recommended for people who are experiencing difficulty in their relationships and in particular how COVID-19 seems to have exacerbated the situation.

In this episode Henrike shares how she used the techniques she'd learned to:

• deal with a relationship break up two years after moving from Germany to Australia with a young child
• create a vision for her future
• create support systems
• negotiate a mutually beneficial outcome for herself,  her son and ex partner
• support her clients through tough times by drawing on her own experience.

We also speak about some of the challenges people are facing during COVID-19 and some of the support and tools they can access to overcome them.

BIO

Life Coach and Hypnotherapist Henrike Schreer teaches her clients how to harness their conscious and unconscious mind to create meaningful change. As co-creator and former manager of a busy yoga school and retreat centre, she draws on modern coaching tools like Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Hypnotherapy as well as ancient yogic philosophy and insights from Ayurveda, archetype work and related topics in the field of personal development.

Want to get in touch with Henrike?

Get in touch via Facebook, Instagram or LinkedIN

Find my latest Coaching Videos on Youtube

Book a free Discovery Call to find out if Coaching is for them

Transcript

Jeremy Melder: 0:00

Hello, my name is Jeremy Melder, and I'm the presenter from beaming green. Before we start, I would like to acknowledge that this podcast is being held on the traditional lands of the bundjalung people and paying our respects to elders both past, present and emerging. The beaming green podcast is a weekly pod, which will help you to take out some of the stress and confusion about how to live your life more sustainably. And we do this by introducing people that have first hand experience and expertise in all aspects of sustainability. So you can get some amazing insight on how you can implement simple and practical solutions to enhance your life and the lives of your family. Welcome to Episode 10 of beaming grain. I want to thank all the participants that have been on my show, and also you the listener of beaming grain when I started with the idea of setting up this podcast in late March, early April, I would not have thought I would have got to Episode 10. So I'd like to thank you all for your support. Today I'm speaking with Henrico shriya, who I've known for nearly eight years. She's a life coach and NLP practitioner and hypnotherapist Today we're going to be talking a little bit about relationships, sustainability of relationships, and also how to deal with things that are coming up in COVID times. Henrike Schreer, welcome to beaming green. Now it's been about eight years, I believe that we've known each other and I know that your NLP practitioner, a life coach, a hypnotherapist, a mother, and an all round great person. I know that you're from East, Germany, and maybe we can start from when your journey started, when he came over to Australia or how you came to Australia. That'd be a good start, wouldn't it? I

Henrike Schreer: 2:24

can do Hi, Jeremy. It's really nice being here. And yet it's been eight years you actually one of the first people I met when I moved up to the Northern Rivers. So congratulations for that. Um, and yes, it's been a wild ride. I've actually just realized recently that it's been pretty exactly 10 years I've been in Australia. But yeah, the journey started in Eastern Germany behind the Iron Curtain and 79. So I got like, for the first 10 years of my life, I did get the other side of the iron curtain. But my mom and I actually left a couple of years before the wall came down. We got permission to leave the country after waiting for a few years and having to go through all the process and drama of that not too much me but my my mother. So yeah, we've seen that system and dictatorship. And we've seen the other side. So that in itself, sometimes it's hard to believe, to actually have lived in that system for a while. And yeah, interesting frame that we get to experience sometimes history in real time as we go, but yeah, I've been in Australia for 10 years, we came from my ex husband's work. And that was the time where I gave up my initial career in Germany and decided to become a life coach and then hypnotherapy and those things came along with that. Did the training and then two years into our time in Australia, we separated? So this is your husband and

Jeremy Melder: 3:51

you You came over here for his work or his work? And then two years later you separate

Henrike Schreer: 3:55

Yeah, wow, that happens to the best of us doesn't it came a little bit unforeseen and certainly had its challenges when you're like 25 or 20 something thousand kilometers away from your support system, and you don't have a fixed job and income anymore. And you have a little kid at the time my son was six, no, eight, it was eight when we separated. So that was a steep learning curve. And it was definitely and giving me quite a bit of momentum was my coaching journey because I got to apply everything that I was teaching and am teaching my clients to my own life and experiment in real time with how it's working. So yeah, brilliant opportunity.

Jeremy Melder: 4:33

So I presume there's been you know, like you've got your NLP you've got your life coaching, then you've got your little torment that you've got your heart with your breakup. How did you deal with that? Did you find that NLP and life coach had those those tools help you in your life?

Henrike Schreer: 4:51

Totally. I mean, the thing is in life throughout, it's not going to be ever that no matter how much work we do on ourselves, that there's not going to be triggers and situations. things that are happening externally that are not gonna like blow us over for a moment. The question is, how quickly Are you able to get back up? And how resourceful Are you in dealing with whatever life is throwing your way. And with that, I found that the tools that I had learned already and that I was learning in the process were invaluable. Like, I remember the night that I found out that he was going to leave, I actually, obviously, like you have a bit of a meltdown and drama and pain. And at the same time, remember that I told myself something really resourceful was like, if this was the biggest opportunity in my life to start completely from scratch, what would I want my life to be like? And so that like coming in with thinking that focuses on the outcome we have in mind and what we do want out of life, rather than being entirely and completely caught up in the drama, The pain, etc? Doesn't mean I didn't have pain. Of course, that's natural. I mean, it was never funny, it wasn't funny for quite a while. But also being able to step away enough from the immediate challenges to see, for example, who do I want to be in the big picture? And how do I want to be able to show up, and one of the frameworks I sometimes use with my clients, and I used on myself there was, if I was to write a book about this, and 10 years time, who do I wish I had been as the hero of my own journey, because I certainly don't want to write, like all the nasty things, you know, that I could be doing or how I could behaving? And still, he's the father of my child as well. So how can I show up in a way that allows me to bring my best and highest self to the table? and drive the situation, at least from my end with what is within my sphere of influence? Yeah, in the best possible way. So and kind of this sort of resourceful, outcome driven, rational thinking, whilst obviously also holding space for the emotions coming?

Jeremy Melder: 7:04

Um, did you have any support systems at all in terms of, you know, friends? And so because you were only two years in Australia, did you have that to call on as well?

Henrike Schreer: 7:12

I had a coup e of really, really lovely frien s and camera, and they were ve y supportive. And at the sa e time, you still feel I thi k everybody does, to a degree fe l profoundly alone, because th n there's the family isn't ther, and the friends you've known f r all your life on there, but n t I must say, I had some real y amazing friends who real y showed up for me as well. And t the same time, I think t e default that a lot of people o into, especially being the o e who is being left will be ou, how bad is that? How mean is he you known and starting this whole, kind of almost support ng you and talking yourself into a really unresourceful tate of mind. And that was som thing I really, most of the time at least really put a bou dary up with where that well as also saying, look, we bot have a part to play in this. An he's a good guy, basically he was figured out for himself, that he doesn't want to be in this relationship anymore So not kind of falling into t at trap of bad mouthing t e other person, you know, an didn't mean that I wouldn't v nt with my friends on occasions s well. But I kept that to a inimum, more so than just it bei g about him. It was actually a out me, practicing somethin that I would now call emoti nal and mental hygiene. Rig t, like being really clear abo t who I want to be how I want o live, running my own race, i a way. Yeah. Rather than getting dragged into that lower quality thinking or, you know, t e drama of it, because what real y, does the drama, contribut to the life I

Jeremy Melder: 8:48

It's an easy thing to fall into that that drama isn't? I mean, I think I've been through a relationship breakup as well. And you know, found that you can get caught up in that whole story of the drama. What do you so what are the tools? You know, you've said that you've thought about this, if you were to write a book, you know, for 10 years, and so on, what's the sort of short term things that people that are caught up in drama? You didn't? You didn't get so caught up in the drama, but if Look at me, I did quite I got caught up in drama.

Henrike Schreer: 9:19

I do as well. It's not that it never happens. It's just like flipping yourself out of it as quickly. Yeah.

Jeremy Melder: 9:24

So what are some of those tools? Like if you've encountered people that are doing that now? Yeah. What do you suggest they can do?

Henrike Schreer: 9:32

Okay, so there's one framework that I do with every client and basically every session that is really practical and really easy actually, to do for yourself is to almost like think as if you had a GPS system for your reality, when you have a car, right? And you program your GPS, because you want to go someplace, what are the two coordinates that the car needs or the GPS needs in order to take you and

Jeremy Melder: 9:54

so where you start from and where you want to get to?

Henrike Schreer: 9:56

That's right. And we are all really tapped into To usually where we are at right now. And then if people are having issues, they're really tapped into why they don't want to be there. And they can give you the whole big story about how bad it is and how unhappy they are frustrated and how everybody else is doing the wrong thing, right. So they are basically floating around that coordinate of where they are right now, navel gazing and keeping their focus on what they don't want. What only very little people realize is that they need to give their system their awareness, their mental focus, the other coordinate of where they want to be instead. And then doesn't mean I don't want to be said, I don't want to be unhappy. It's like, okay, so if you don't want to be sad, what do you want to be if you don't want to be angry? What do you want to be, and have a clear contrast between the old thing and you can almost use the old problems, to help you define what the opposite is what you do want, because if, for example, I had, say, relationship issues, because somebody never listens to me or whatever, you can say I care, I want to be in a relationship where the other person is present with me. But also, I'm really present with them. Because obviously, the next thing is, I can't control anybody else and the externals around me, all I can control is who I am and how I show up. So first step is get clarity around where you do want to be, and you wouldn't sit in your car, right and bang your hand angry on your GPS system crying going. I don't like it here. I don't like it here. If somebody came by and was watching you, they would go like, Okay, so what do you say where you want to go? I don't know. But I really don't like it here. With that example, you can see how stupid that is. And yet we're all doing it when it comes to that and resourceful thinking being stuck in our dramas. Okay, so then tell me, what do you want and frame it in a positive way that you can actually move to what I can't go to? Not Melbourne? Yeah, but I can go to Sydney. Yes, that makes sense. So have clarity on where you want to be and then see the trajectory of the steps you are taking as to what are things I can proactively do? Who do I need to be? How do I need to show up in day to day activities and in my thinking Mental Hygiene in order to create that, instead of the old thing and put my focus on creating what I want, instead of circling emotionally around what I don't want instead? Yeah, yeah. So that's the first thing, then the really run your own race, get clear about what is in your circle of influence. And usually the behavior of your kids, your partner, your colleagues are not part of your circle of influence, however, you showing up in your best possible way will often change the dynamic. And that might sometimes mean that some people might fall away from you know, with your own kids, for example, it's not usually that easy. Yeah. But that we put up with I'm raising a teenager, so we all putting up with things to a certain degree, he puts up with me as well. Absolutely. It's not that we have a choice, right. But we're certain other people, for example, with friends who are say very self involved, creating even more drama, we do have a choice of how much time we spend with them, or how we maybe choose to associate with other people more of who are holding us accountable who we want to be and supporting us in that rather than dragging us down and just perpetuating the drama. Does that make sense?

Jeremy Melder: 13:09

We'll be back in a moment.

Advertising Bee Folk: 13:13

Hello, everyone. My name is Mariani from Bee Folk. And it is great to be joining Jeremy here on the beaming green podcast, helping us all to live more sustainably Bee Folk produces beeswax wrap kits to make your own beeswax wraps at home. Our bee folk blend bar is made from natural beeswax, tree resin, organic coconut and her hobo oil. Make your own great looking, reusable, eco friendly reps to cover your food and keep it fresh and natural alternative to plastic wrap. And to support the good message of beaming green, and help reduce single use plastic waste, we are giving away a free B folk wax rep kit. Just go to the website, beaming green.com and subscribe to be in the drawer in the second week of November.

Jeremy Melder: 14:07

Welcome back. So in terms of dealing with, you know, so you've got your child max. So he would have been going through his own journey as well. But this whole breakup side of things in terms of Have you got any suggestions in terms of how to frame that for your child? You know, it's, uh, you know, there's two sides to this relationship with the Father and how do you balance that, you know, because I think I found that confusing myself. You know, and I must be confusing for the child as well. Right

Henrike Schreer: 14:42

will be and I mean, I think it's futile to think that we can entirely fix that and make it go away. It's not really that and also, I'm not a charge psychology expert. I know that I've done the best I could with what I had at the time and I know that on some levels. I will have failed, as we all do, by the way, like just the level of how do we mess up our children? Like, what's your version of crazy that you pass on? Yeah. And obviously being as self aware as possible. I think a couple of things are, for example, having really open conversations with the kid but without bagging, the ex partner. Like, that's something I've done only very rarely and caught myself and even apologize to max. Very rarely Will I ever say something negative about his father, probably nowadays, more. So that was sometimes you know, just having like an honest little feedback, but especially during those first few years, I would never make any any comments about his father. And always point out that if we had a conversation about something would say, look, this is the way that I see it. Yeah. And it's not fair, if you don't ask dad to get to share his version as well, because he probably sees a different just like you and I sometimes have different opinions, Max, it will be the same there as well. So that thing like honoring the partner, because ultimately, for me, it was always really important that Max has a really healthy image of his father, because he develops his own masculinity, modeling his own father. So if I bag him or make him look bad, or, you know, destroy his image in front of his own child, I'm only ever hurting my child, and why would I want that. So as gracious as you possibly can? Obviously, it gets difficult if the other partners are really difficult person, like, I've been lucky, I guess, in that regard, not that we are great friends, but that we are respectful with each other,

Jeremy Melder: 16:42

and you have the best interest of your child. And

Henrike Schreer: 16:44

I think he's like that as well. And we doesn't have we don't have to be close friends, but we can have the best interest of our child. And yeah, and so and so I think that that's something we're doing well. And then, like teaching your child resilience, rather than fixing the problem, like we can't call our children, we can't like, you know, have them live in a bubble. Reality is that life, sometimes it's hard, you know, not to use any swear words here. But it's like, sometimes it's just not easy. And it's not fun, and it doesn't feel good. And no, like, you don't have a way of talking ourselves into this being awesome. It's just sometimes not a divorce is not awesome. But like, rather than trying to smoothen it out, is to reuse it as a learning opportunity for resilience and role model that I mean, ultimately, it's, you know, monkey see monkey do, it's like, they will show up. And I find that very confronting sometimes in the parenting journey. It's like, you see the reflection of yourself and your kid and you're like, Ah, that's what I do.

Jeremy Melder: 17:45

Yeah, I've learned that lesson myself.

Henrike Schreer: 17:47

Yes. Like, ah, you know, in the best and in the last possible ways. So it's basically like, look at the reflection that you're getting back from your kid and see where the opportunities lie for you to step up and for you to be even better.

Jeremy Melder: 18:04

Yeah, for sure. Thanks for sharing that. I know, that's close to you. But I also wanted to chat to you about some of the work that you're doing with some of your clients that are wanting to explore how they can be bettering themselves or if they want you to do their enterprise or just, you know, do life better? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's, as you know, we've all been encountering the challenge of COVID-19. Yeah. Lots of people have had challenges. You know, there's a lot of people with depression, there's a lot of people with anxiety. What are some of those coping mechanisms that people can some simple, basic things that they can do every day? That could help them you know, to be more sustainable? This is a sustainability, show.

Henrike Schreer: 18:56

going to say that it's all about sustainability. It's like, you know,

Jeremy Melder: 18:59

if we can't, you know, as a human being, if I can't sustain a way that approaches the world in a sustainable way, then there's no hope.

Henrike Schreer: 19:09

And without hope, that's when we're really lost. That's right, exactly right. And I think that's the biggest challenge. And again, it comes back to that GPS example I was giving you if you don't have hope, and you are entirely focusing all your energy or your thinking on the negative and what you don't have anymore, and the pain around that you're basically imploding emotionally. So you do need to find that hope or that next best thing to reach for to shift your awareness away from and that doesn't mean by the way, just acknowledging what's going on, emotionally underneath it doesn't. It just means Okay, being present with this and honest about this. And at the same time, also asking yourself where do I want to go from here and I think what's happened with COVID is that for a lot of people, externally, things have collapsed um, whether that is like a loss of income or loss of food. Work and therefore also meaningful employment, therefore, then certain contacts etc. And I must say that in my environment, somehow it's a little bit like a happy land, a lot of people I know also are doing really well. I think up here in the Northern Rivers, we're probably also pretty lucky on how we are going so far with it, we're blessed, we have pretty blessed I think so too. But at the same time, so when things are falling away from you, again, basically, it doesn't feel good. So let's not pretend it does. It's not awesome. It's a it's a challenge. And at the same time, what's our circle of influence, it's about showing up as the best person we can, with what's going on on the outside. Because the outside, we can't change what's going on, we can to a degree as we are, you know, looking to find a new job and starting our own business or something. But for the time being, when you are caught in a situation that's really challenging, you can't change what's going on, on the outside. So let go of the idea of it should be different. And all that energy wasted on what other people should be doing, what the politicians should be doing, how it's not fair, etc, there's a lot of energy, often that's tied up in the drama out there, where nothing changes by wasting that energy. So first of all, take that energy back, I think that's one really important thing, and stop focusing on channels and bring your energy back to you and start focusing on what is within your circle of influence. And then often, what I found and might have worked was definitely, probably my biggest learning opportunity in that regard, is that those external challenges and dramas forced you to go inwards and shrink back almost whether that's financially or externally into what really matters. Like for me back then it was a big financial challenge and was like, What is an absolute must have, what's a necessity, versus what is all the stuff that's nice to have. And I think for us as a society, much as we don't like, obviously, when big shifts like that happen and catch us by surprise. We might be looking back at this in 1015 years time and identify it as a starting point of something much more sustainable, sustainable in the long run, where, for example, the huge spending wasting money on stuff we didn't need in the first place might have stopped where a lot of people might be more mindful about their spending about their, you know, not living paycheck to paycheck, but realizing that Yeah, maybe that wasn't ideal, maybe, you know, I read a book like the Barefoot investor, big fan of Scott Pape, Scott is a big fan of him. And do you know, like, take back those things, shrink it back to essence, and then redefine who we are, how we want to live in this world and what really matters. And then it's like, gradually grow back from there. But back from a true essence, I think a lot of falseness, a lot of pretend a lot of stuff that's not really us will fall away in the process of big shifts like that, because we have to face ourselves. And we have to show up as the best version of ourselves. If we want to come out of that thriving, not just surviving.

Jeremy Melder: 23:15

Yeah, look, I totally agree with that. Because I think that, you know, for so long, people have been working

Henrike Schreer: 23:24

ridiculous hours,

Jeremy Melder: 23:25

countless hours, you know, 70 to 80 hours, you know, the kids have been neglected. They'd be buying takeaway food. And all of a sudden, we've got COVID You can't leave your house. And then what do people do? They grow vegetables, they start baking bread. They make

Henrike Schreer: 23:42

home bread for the first time in the years. I was baking all my own bread when I first arrived in Australia. Yeah. And then gave that up and didn't do that again. And now in the last half year. I've been breaking bread every week. Yeah. And it's beautiful. Like they have been good things. Like even just, you know, when when we had locked down here for this rather short period of time, thank God. I'm having dinner with my having lunch with my son every day, like sitting down actually cooking a proper lunch, not just a proper dinner, and then sit down with him for a couple of extra minutes. I'm having a proper chat. How nice

Jeremy Melder: 24:16

yeah, that's what I'm that's what I really enjoyed. It's just much more quality time. Yeah.

Henrike Schreer: 24:21

And so so yeah, going back to the things that are grounding us as well. I think it's, if you want to speak in Ayurvedic terms, you know, these times when there's a lot of mental issues and mental challenges and external drama can be a very bad time of time. That's very airy, it's easy to get caught up in thought loops and and not be able to manage yourself to get out of that again. And so to counter that, it's grounding, earthing, you know, and water, like find ways of slowing down of having both feet on the ground, even if it's just like out in your own backyard barefoot for a couple of minutes on the grass or by The beach. If you're in Melbourne, don't get to do that as I think it's the thing. Yeah, nice thing. So So those kind of things, slowing yourself down and asking yourself quality questions. I think that's another piece of advice. It's because a lot of people will start asking, Why me? Why is this happening? Why? The thing is a why question basically affirms where you are, and gives you all the rubbish reasons why. So for example, just like, why am I still single? Because I'm fat, because I'm ugly, because I'm stupid, because all men are bad, because all the good ones are taken. Listen to those answers. None of them has any value in changing it at only affirms what is in the most unrespectful rubbish explanation sort of way? versus how question is a better quality question to us. So how could I be in a loving relationship? Well, maybe by going out starting to date people maybe by developing myself and work on the issues that I've had that have surfaced in their previous relationships? Can you see the difference? Like the why question is just keeping you stuck, where you are giving you all the good explanations and excuses? versus a how question how, and then whatever what you do want instead, will start you on a train of thought that is getting you somewhere. So Mental Hygiene, again, ask yourself quality questions. And with that, there's so many self development and coaching books out there who can provide good quality questions. It's not just about finding the answers is often about yourself the better question, and then dig in your own mind? Not, you know, you don't need to look at the experts all the time at all the answers. Take what's true for you.

Jeremy Melder: 26:40

Yeah, yeah. So do you think meditation has a part to play in part of this, there are many people that

Henrike Schreer: 26:48

does. And I think and a lot of people that I see are doing well are having a meditation practice. I mean, you know that my spiritual background, there is a meditation practice involved, I must say, I'm not a big meditator, I'm just finding it very challenging to commit to it. And at the same time, whenever things get really challenging, that's what I go back home to. And that's whether it's a walking meditation with I sit in my chair on my little veranda meditating, when really things are out of whack. That's what I go back to. And that's what I do find really grounding. I think that's fun. For a lot of people. That's, that's a really good practice, and then doesn't like sometimes there's this mistaken idea of that it is like, sitting for hours, in an uncomfortable position, trying to not think of anything by while being overwhelmed by all the thoughts that come up. There's a million different ways of meditating. So to our listeners, if you have found meditation difficult because that's the only way you've tried. There's mindfulness meditation, like, for example, gazing at a candle, or taking a walk and being really mindful of looking at the little things by the roadside. And there are chanting meditations, mantra meditations. That's what I practice where you are engaging your mind. In a specific mantra, rather than trying to not engage your mind. it's sometimes difficult to not do something. Yeah. So do something else sometimes. Yes, right. There are singing meditations. Like there's a million different ways. So if you find you would like to start up a practice, but whatever you have tried so far, hasn't worked for you keep looking. There's

Jeremy Melder: 28:21

Yeah, there's lots of podcasts. Yeah, absolutely. Good stuff, it was really good stuff, I use one that I've got that that's a guided meditation, this varies in so many out there, for sure, they're really good to just do it doesn't have to be long, it can be 10 minutes or 15 minutes. And it's

Henrike Schreer: 28:39

again about controlling your own mind, not so much about you know, Mind Control, but about like learning how to step away from your thoughts enough for them not to overrun you and run away with you. But to be able to see them with that little bit of distance, a little bit of bird's eye perspective, that will allow you to emotionally detach from the immediate drama, and take that observer sort of mode that often allows you to see things for what they

Jeremy Melder: 29:08

really are. And also for me, I find I breed so well when I do them, you know, because I find I don't know about you but when I'm sitting in front of a computer I really realize how little I breathe when I'm typing away so we know we're so programmed to not breathe is so concentrated and so on that you know even if we did go for a walk with breathe better than sitting in front of a computer

Henrike Schreer: 29:32

so percent and you know what's really sweet as well as a couple breathing together like either in an embrace and actually consciously both focusing on the in and out breath. Yeah, or as you are going out together but really tuning into that slower breathing energy and in that into that conscious energy. Yes, very beautiful practice.

Jeremy Melder: 29:52

Now I'm curious whether you do NLP which is neuro linguistic programming. Yeah. I want to know a bit more about Can you tell me what that's all about?

Henrike Schreer: 30:01

Yeah, so if we look at those three words, right and your linguistic and programming, so neuro obviously it's it's the brain linguistic is through words through the language that we use and positive auto suggestions or negative ones. And then programming is basically how are the programs designed that we are running in our own brain, because we are running in a lot of unconscious automated patterns. In the bigger picture, though, NLP is actually basically a study of excellent, so the developers of NLP bandler, and grinder, grinder grinder. They, and that was a bunch of years ago, they were basically looking to find models of excellence, people who are in whichever field they are in achieving outstanding results, and then breaking down into micro steps, what specifically it is that they are doing, that allows them to get those amazing, consistent results. So they would work with the best hypnotherapist, Milton Erickson, with amazing family therapists, with sports people with sales people, etc, etc, to elicit from them what the patents are that these people are using, and then be able to do exactly the same thing, following the same steps to get the same results. So it's, and this is, by the way, why an MP sometimes has a bad rap, because those sales strategies are incredibly successful. And it's can sometimes feel really frustrating when you're on the receiving end of them. Because you don't want to be talked into buying, you know, this concept of that one, but almost you're feeling almost compelled to do it. So obviously, that's not the kind of NLP that I want to practice. But you can use it for good you can use it in like, for example hypnotherapy really successfully. And and so there's a couple of really beautiful principles that NLP is based on which for me, personally, I find ties really well into my spiritual background as well as for example, the like, one of the basic assumptions in NLP is your whole complete and able, everything you need is within you right now. That's basically you know, your spirit soul, you know, divine nature, if that's what you believe in, it's like, everything is within you already. And it's almost like peeling. And this is where coaching comes in. It's like peeling the layers of forgetfulness of who you truly are away so that you can come back to your true essence to that true whole complete enable nature. So it's basically like with a soul, you know, you've got this tiny, mean minute particle of amazingness. Yeah, and then all these layers of social conditioning of our upbringing of the times and days we live in, of the pain that we've gone through. Do you know, there's so many things? Yeah. And we can often play such a small game in comparison to what we're truly capable of. So by peeling away those layers, which coaching and NLP and hypnotherapy and other therapies, I guess, can do? Yeah, it's like, we're freeing ourselves from everything that we are not to come back to the true essence of who we are, and then shine that light into the world. Talking about COVID talking about what are important things. Yeah, like more of us need to come back

Jeremy Melder: 33:12

to shining our light. Absolutely. So just to clarify, so if, if I'm having some sort of thought pattern, think like, for example, I'm thinking about COVID-19 as being this terrible monster. Would could using NLP help to reframe that?

Henrike Schreer: 33:31

If that's what you want? in Word? Yeah, if it's not what you truly want, and you want? Yeah, that's very much my question would be okay, so if that's your issue, how is this a problem for you right now would build enough awareness of that this is a problem you want to let go off, to be ready to let it go? And then I would ask you, so how would you want to see it instead? What would be a way of looking at it that will serve you that's good for you? And we look in NLP coaching, we look at kind of a resourceful outlook. And we call that ecology. So is it good for you? Is it good for the people around you? And is it good for the greater good, if those three criteria of ecology are met, then a behavior is seen to be positive seem to be helpful, there seemed to be something support worthy through the coaching, right? So if you were to say, Okay, I want to frame it as something that is happening that I can't change. But that within the setting that we are in, I want to be able to see that there can also be opportunities, because there's plenty of people out there who are doing just fine. Oh, actually, potentially even better than before. Some businesses are thriving, not despite but because of it. So I want to see the world with its opportunities, and I want to be able to within the setting that we are in that I can't change, live my best life. So that has ecology. So then we would look at, okay, how can we make this happen and how can we shift those thought patterns in order for you to be more resourceful with what was going on? Yeah. Okay.

Jeremy Melder: 34:59

So You, you do NLP, you do hypnotherapy and you also do live coaching.

Henrike Schreer: 35:06

Yeah, so it's all pretty tied in together. It's not like one thing or the other, like, basically I'm a coach and two of the modalities that I'm using are NLP and hypnotherapy. So it kind of was all mashed up in there together.

Jeremy Melder: 35:18

Yeah. And you you do coaching sessions via Skype and zoom and also face to face.

Henrike Schreer: 35:26

Yeah, whatever happens, like if somebody see in the area, I'm super happy to see them at my house in my little office. Um, and I have people like, on all different continents that I'm working with us. Well, maybe once we're in Australia, or no, overseas, or, yeah, there's people everywhere.

Jeremy Melder: 35:41

Yeah. Well, that's great. Now Henrico, I want to put on a you've done some lovely videos as well. Is that right?

Henrike Schreer: 35:47

Yeah, that's a that's a project we've started a couple of months ago. It's really cool. And with an old friend of mine, we used to start and manage a yoga retreat center together, and he's gone on to create this beautiful heart and soul media, yoga life channel. And, like recording heaps and heaps of coaching related videos and put it out there, we can drop a link and

Jeremy Melder: 36:07

that'd be great. I'd love to share that. Henrico I really appreciate your time. And it's great to reconnect again. Oh, yes. I mean, on on a show called baling grain. But we're, it's really nice to sort of see where you're at and what you're up to. Now, if anyone wants to connect with you, I'll be putting all of this information on the show notes. And well, thank you for joining us on beaming green Henrike.

Henrike Schreer: 36:31

Happy Days Thank you so much, Jeremy. See you soon

Jeremy Melder: 36:35

Thank you for being part of the Beaming Green podcast. The music for this podcast is produced by Dave Weir. Now we need more people to get on board and raise awareness about sustainability and climate change. The more of us that are shining the light on these issues, the more governments and business leaders will listen. We would love you to subscribe to our podcast, and share and engage in social media so that we can get some traction. Let's support one another and envision a brighter future. Thanks for listening, and see you next week.