Security Halt!
Welcome to Security Halt! Podcast, the show dedicated to Veterans, Active Duty Service Members, and First Responders. Hosted by retired Green Beret Deny Caballero, this podcast dives deep into the stories of resilience, triumph, and the unique challenges faced by those who serve.
Through powerful interviews and candid discussions, Security Halt! Podcast highlights vital resources, celebrates success stories, and offers actionable tools to navigate mental health, career transitions, and personal growth.
Join us as we stand shoulder-to-shoulder, proving that even after the mission changes, the call to serve and thrive never ends.
Security Halt!
Veteran Mindset Shift: Marriage, Masculinity, and Finding Purpose After the Military
What does it take for veterans to truly thrive after service? In this powerful episode of Security Halt!, host Deny Caballero sits down with George Hayworth — a former corporate professional turned men’s growth coach — to explore the hard truths about transition, marriage, masculinity, and mental health.
George shares his raw and unfiltered journey from chasing career success to embracing personal growth, accountability, and faith. Together, they discuss why so many veterans struggle with purpose, identity, and relationships after leaving the military — and how embracing discomfort and self-awareness is the path forward.
From rebuilding your marriage to redefining masculinity through the four essential pillars — King, Warrior, Mentor, and Friend — this conversation will challenge you to confront your past, take ownership of your life, and lead with resilience and emotional intelligence.
Whether you're a veteran, a leader, or someone searching for healing and purpose — this episode is a roadmap for personal development, leadership, and transformation.
🔥 Listen now and start your journey of growth.
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Chapters
00:00 Embracing Discomfort for Growth
03:00 The Importance of Purpose and Legacy
06:06 Navigating the Transition from Military to Civilian Life
09:09 The Struggles of Identity and Relationships
11:58 The Path to Healing and Accountability
15:07 The Journey of Change and Personal Growth
18:02 Rebuilding Relationships and Marital Success
23:28 The Journey of Self-Discovery
29:28 The Role of Men in Society
33:05 Defining a Good Man
40:00 Faith and Personal Growth
44:51 The Importance of Mentorship and Accountability
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Produced by Security Halt Media
Security Odd Podcast. Let's go the only podcast that's purpose-built from the ground up to support you Not just you, but the wider audience, everybody. Authentic, impactful and insightful conversations that serve a purpose to help you. And the quality has gone up. It's decent. It's hosted by me, danny Caballero. It's a decent. It's hosted by me, danny Caballero. Yeah, I think there's a, there's a merit, there's something to doing difficult things and everything that I've read, everything that I've like been able to like sit down and gain knowledge, glean knowledge through the years, going into this experiment, a project of like being a better person, overcoming and just trying to be better for the community. I understand now that there's like you initially get told when you are going out of the military or when you're recovering from an injury, like comfort get better take a knee and certainly absolutely it's needed.
Speaker 1:But when you can walk again, when you can bend a little easier, when you can move around, start pushing the envelope, start going into discomfort. And I will tell you, man, like I was blown away by the amount of people at that event and that's why I've made it like one of the things that I will do every year. Doesn't matter how far I get, doesn't matter if I finish the entire thing, finish a half of it, just being around other people that want to suck and be in misery for a little bit of their day, or vast majority of the day, is powerful, and we did in the military for so long, and I think that that's something that connects us in this joint venture that all of us veterans out here in the space can you know attest to like. There's something about putting together the right tools for your kit and then going out there and preaching about it.
Speaker 2:So today, george, it's your episode. Man, let's dive into your story. Yeah, brother, I'd love to. Well, first and foremost, thanks for having me on. Man, it's a real privilege to be here. You know, kind of looking at the guest list that you've had on, it's like ooh, got a little imposter syndrome coming on. So thanks for talking to little old me.
Speaker 1:You know Everybody, everybody's stories, everybody's story matters and that's something that I've. People always reach out and like, well, you give that guy a platform. He's fucking nobody. I'm like I don't care, like I will do this, like if there's never going to be any money, if there's never, it's never, it's never going to get to that point, I don't care.
Speaker 1:I'm still going to champion every voice, whether it's notable or it's not notable, because every veteran deserves to come on and share their story of resilience, overcoming something, and it will speak to somebody. It blows my mind when I think I'm like you know, this is going to be an episode just for me. I don't think people are going to, you know, I don't think maybe one or two people would really like it. And I get the messages and they're like wow, that person was fucking really inspirational man. So, george, you are definitely a big name out there. I think I tune into my social media and I see your face everywhere and I'm like dude, especially what you're going on with your own show is something that hit me hard when I was finally at the gates to become a father and of course now little Izzy's here, but I was like man, like this, this is something I wish we would have listened to or heard of when we were young men. No one's too man, man.
Speaker 2:That's part of why we do it is we're like man, we needed this. It's not like we're these. It's not like we got everything figured out. We're just trying to. Man, I've learned some things, A lot of it, the hard way. Let's pay it forward. And yeah, so that's really the intent behind the President Fathers podcast is the best time to learn to be a dad is before you are one. You know, Uh, and I, I feel like we actually oftentimes don't make that cool right, it's like, oh no, you're young, you're single or whatever. Just focus on that kind of stuff. Like, honestly, that's the best time to prepare for being a husband and being a father is before you are one. Uh, cause it's, it's a big responsibility, but I'd love to just real quick that comfort lie right.
Speaker 2:Uh, cause, that was lie right, because that's a big piece of my story there is, I got out of the army and it was like, oh, you know, we'll go in the corporate world now and all this comfort, luxury and all these things, and those several years right after the army were probably the most miserable years of my life. I mean just absolutely terrible for a lot of reasons. But that was a big piece of it was I just didn't have anything of purpose anymore, right, there wasn't this embracing kind of something that was challenging and I had to constantly push towards. It was just all kind of meaningless in a way. You know, and I think as a man, that's something that's ingrained in our DNA, not just military. This is all men. We naturally have this drive to create something of worth, to be fighting for something that matters and to be building towards that, and that's really what legacy is right. Legacy is that it's the destination, it's not, and then everything from that is what you're fighting to actually build it.
Speaker 2:And we get so disillusioned with, like, all the distractions of modern life and all the things that are nice to have and they're certainly enjoyable, but if that's all you exist for you lose that purpose and, as a man, I think that is really dangerous territory to be in, because that's where all these thoughts start coming in and you start lacking that self-confidence or you start maybe doing things you shouldn't be doing, and it can be a very vicious cycle very quickly. So, yeah, I love that you started with that, because that is a truth that I have just learned more and more and more and more every single year since being on active duty that the more that I challenge myself on all aspects of life not just physically, not just mentally, but just continuing to push the envelope as as my own personal development my life feels better and it just is better, right. It's, ironically, actually more easy, even though I'm doing harder things, right. So it's kind of this weird paradox of life, but I think that's integral to what all men need to understand, and I think that's why veterans struggle so much too.
Speaker 2:Is you come from this world of immense purpose, where you know exactly what your role is and exactly what you exist to do, and then it's just gone like that, and that's why we really have this mental health struggle. It's not really mental health. It's actually a lack of purpose, I think for men and you start fixing that, the mental health stuff kind of solves itself pretty quickly. Now I'm not discounting things like trauma or you know there are real things you need to work through, but generally this kind of generalized anxiety or fear that a lot of men have, I think stems from just they don't really have a real mission anymore and you can certainly find that for yourself post the military and I think that's a great starting point for a lot of veterans. So sorry to ramble a little bit.
Speaker 1:No dude, just your episode. My man, this is why we're here.
Speaker 2:That was a huge sticking point in my life and getting over that has been really valuable to my life, and so I know it's going to help a lot of other people too.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So let's, let's dive into that. Let's, let's dive into that. Those last few months for George, like that transition piece, because we say that's the most important time and that's when we're all going to get. You're going to get popped in the mouth, you're going to take that big hit to the face, cause you think, well, I'm fucking master sergeant, or I'm sergeant major, or I'm chief, I'm fucking somebody, I'm going to transition. Like, fuck this organization. They're going to wish I was going to stay a little longer.
Speaker 1:And you go through it and you realize, oh, dude, like the army goes rolling along, yeah, motherfuckers, they don't. It's like there's no spot for you everybody. There's a lot of people that think and and I, I joke, I, I can, I can res, I can deeply, deeply, like feel that pain. We all want to think and we all want to sit in that space where, like it's going to matter, it's like the reality is, is like, no, your friends are going to move on to the organization's going to move on. You need to anchor yourself in your family, that's right, um, yeah.
Speaker 2:So for me that that time in my life, like I said, was probably the worst period of my life ever, um, and it wasn't all just leaving the army, Right, so I need to kind of back up a little bit before that decision, um, cause the context really matters here. So, uh, things were pretty good, right. So my, I met my wife while I was on active duty, you know, found me a local, that whole story but we were honestly doing really well, um, and I was crushing it at work.
Speaker 2:You know, I, I I was performing at the top of you know, ahead of my peers and all that kind of thing, and I was nothing special, I was just a regular field artillery officer. So I don't want to act like I'm some you know super who, a badass, but I worked very hard to be as good as I could be Right and yeah, we had deployed, you know, I kind of earned my keep among the men, all that type of stuff, and so I was kind of riding this high like man. I really made it, you know, from childhood. But deep down I was just pretending Everywhere I went I wasn't actually a man yet, I thought I was but I wasn't and I was just projecting these masks to the world. Right, I had a ruck full of pretending masks everywhere I went and that weight just became unbearable and really what that was was just this deep rooted fear that if anyone saw the real me, they would reject me, they would think I'm weak or think I'm stupid or whatever. They would shun George if they really saw through the facade. So I had these acts everywhere I go and anyone who can relate to this can understand very quickly how exhausting that is, and so fast forward just a little bit.
Speaker 2:We decided to start our family. My wife has a brutal birth experience, like emergency C-section she hemorrhaged, it was scary. Thankfully our daughter was healthy and everything. But now my wife had severe postpartum. Her body is physically broken right now and it just became really stressful really fast, and at the time too, I think you only got like 17 days of paternity leave, you know, leave or whatever. Um, so it's not exactly like I had a whole lot of time to figure things out. And then couple that with my insecurities and just my lack of emotional intelligence and emotional maturity, this whole situation kind of.
Speaker 2:I started treating my wife like oh, she's done this to me, right, like why can't she just be a better mother, you know, and just this stupid, arrogant, you know, just totally missing the point at a time when she needed her husband to be the protector and provider and have grace and understanding for her. Instead she basically just got this resentful, bitter teenage kid, you know, and so that really kind of was the starting point of a lot of our problems. It kind of brought all of our crap to the surface, all of her childhood stuff, all mine, stuff that we basically just buried in our past and we really became enemies very quickly through this whole experience and there's a whole we could do a whole episode on just that piece of the story but basically the decision came like whoa, we can't keep this active duty thing up. There's no way this marriage survives. If I stay on active duty, because at the time I was the headquarters XO in the artillery, which is like the worst place to be. So, like in the infantry, it's awesome because you have like mortars and scout snipers and stuff In the artillery, you have like the radar and all the ass and trash, and so it sucks. It's a huge beast of a job.
Speaker 2:Phone was ringing off the hook all the time. You know someone's in jail or someone's got an emergency red cross message and um, it was a very stressful period of our life and so that decision was was very obvious, like we have to get out, cause there's no way we'll keep this going, and it sounded like a good idea and it seemed like wisdom at the time and we were committed to trying to make things work for real. You know we weren't just going to give up, but, um, that was the one thing left that was still giving me some level of self-respect and confidence. Right, I had wrapped my whole identity as a man in George the army officer. And again, that's not real, that's just something I did. It's not who I actually am, and so the problem there is I didn't actually love or respect myself truly. Again, I was still. Just it's another mask I was wearing and all these character traits that we celebrate in the military right Assertiveness and aggression and that kind of stuff. You know, all these leadership qualities in a combat scenario are kind of glorified, so it actually masked a lot of my problems. Right, I didn't have to grow as a man in all these other areas because at work they were celebrated. Oh, this must be great. So that's a lot of explanation, but I just want people to understand the context. It wasn't like I just got out and then had this identity crisis. There was a lot of things going on and then that was a major factor that started me on my spiral, and it's not to blame anyone else. I just want people to understand that if you don't really take account of everything you're dealing with and have people around you to kind of really help you pressure, test your decisions. You're going to make the wrong ones, and so that's what I did.
Speaker 2:Is after this, we really our marriage was just totally on the rocks. We actually separated. We moved down to Texas and I kicked her out and said, move your ass back to Tennessee. And she did, and we were separated for a while and I just kept going downhill and downhill. I was drinking all the time, partying all the time. I started flirting with other women, started doing a lot more with other women. I mean, I became a very horrible person and eventually we were like we got to try and fix this for the sake of our daughter and that started a very long healing process.
Speaker 2:But a big component of that was that loss of identity because I never knew who I was before the Army too right. I'd never really learned what makes a good man truly regardless of your profession, and so I kind of set myself up for failure there in a lot of ways. And then I also shunned, I intentionally kind of disconnected from anyone who would hold me accountable and I just surrounded myself with people who tell me what I wanted to hear, you know, and I literally became like the stereotype in terms of, like, all these types of bad behaviors, you know, and and I finally woke up one day and was like I hate myself. Who? Who is this guy that I'm looking at in the mirror? Cause I don't believe in what I'm doing, like I? I believe it's wrong. I don't, you know, I would never support someone doing these things. Why the hell am I doing it? You know. And so that started a pretty long healing journey and fast forward to today.
Speaker 2:That's why I'm so passionate about helping other men understand these truths is because I believe wholeheartedly that if I would have had some of the teachings that I give today, I would not have made those decisions. I would have weathered the storm much better. I would have been supportive to my wife when she needed me, instead of making it a fight against each other. And you know so maybe maybe those listening you're you're in a similar boat, or maybe you're you're in a similar boat, or maybe you're feeling some of these similar emotions. I want you to know that you can absolutely change that situation.
Speaker 2:You just need to have the right tools in your disastrous and so maybe we'll get into that, maybe we won't, but that's why I speak so aggressively on these things is because I almost threw it all away. I almost destroyed my family, and it's not like my wife was perfect either, but I'm the husband, I'm the father, I am responsible for everything my family does or fails to do. So it's my responsibility to take ownership and change the course for my family, and I was the one actually kind of burning it to the ground for a long time. So, wherever you are listening to that, um, there is hope and, uh, hopefully in this episode we can maybe unpack some of how to start changing the situation. But I'll pause there. So, yeah, man, it's.
Speaker 1:Um, it's important to understand too that you have to be willing to change. You have to be willing to start this journey, to do the work. Um, I think a lot of us, when we get better, we want to advocate. We started, and I certainly did, I, I did, I, I jumped at every opportunity to reach out and give that lifeline to somebody to pull themselves out. I'm better, I'm, i'm'm, I'm way better than I was still got a long way to go, but I can start helping people.
Speaker 1:And one of the first things I I encountered is that ugly, violent face of somebody that is literally drowning in their, in their own issues, in their own problem set, and they don't want your fucking help. And that was a hard pill to swallow. We're like, fuck man, like I see where you're at right now, like you're, you're having a complete breakdown, like let me, just let me get you to the right people, let me, let me just listen to what I'm saying. And it's you have to take a step back and realize and I, eventually I did and I understood like, hey man, like it's, it's their journey. They have to be willing to look in the mirror and say I'm done, I don't want to do this anymore. I want to get help, I want to start moving forward and in your story it sounds a lot like you know, certainly pieces I can look at and be like fuck, I went through the same thing, like I can feel that that you know, in my case I didn't have a template. I didn't have a father figure to look at and say or even ignore and be able to like no, I don't want to do that like. I didn't have that, and that's something I identified. Is is true to a lot of our g walk guys. You don't have a father at home. That is a standard for how to be, for what a real good, honest, decent, hard-working man.
Speaker 1:So then what do we do? We get in the military and we emulate and we look up to these guys that have anger issues Like well, sergeant Soto kept me alive for the last 12 months. He's a violent drinker, a fierce Irishman. That's a good man, I'm going to be that guy Right.
Speaker 1:And we, we attach ourselves to that identity angry, always drinking, violent like and and sometimes it even gets us promoted like that motherfucker is always on on top of things and on the outside we get around and we don't have a powerful advocate for a positive role, role model that's, you know, held up in pop culture, that's lifted up into our, our faces on netflix or or hulu or any other um right, video.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, you always look at men in the negative spotlight. It's always celebrated to be a, a weak, um, sorry, better soy fucking boy that's. Uh, you know he's leading the way for social justice and it's like that's, that's fine, but that guy is never leading the way for social justice. And it's like, dude, that's fine, but that guy is never going to be the person you turn to in a moment of need, like that's not the person that's going to take care of his fucking family. In fact, that's not the person that's actually going to be able to provide for or build family. And we have to start promoting individuals such as yourself that are willing to talk and share. And I want to sit down, I want to break down that, that path, that journey into you know, when you realized what you needed to change.
Speaker 2:What was the first thing that you addressed? Um, so, you know, it was obviously I'd been unfaithful, right? Uh, I, I had become everything that I hate, and it was. It was just this harsh realization of like I don't even know where to go. I don't even know what to do right now. Right, I felt completely stuck and I was convinced that it's over. Right, like she's going to leave me, like there's no way to repair this, like I basically dug my own grave here. Um, there's a song actually about his band called as I Lay Dying. They wrote the song called my Own Grave and when that first came out, I was like whoa, it's like they wrote my story you know, and for all my metal heads out there, that's like one of my favorites.
Speaker 2:But that's how it felt, man, like I dug my own grave. There's no way out of this. Like it's over, you know. So I was desperate. I reached out to, uh, to you know, my wife and I had a marriage counselor before we left active duty. He was here in Tennessee. Um, we, I reached out to her and I was like I basically just fessed up to everything. You know, at a high level, what was going on. I'm like I I need help, like I don't know what to do here. And uh, so I went to this place called onsite, uh, which is like a week long intensive, kind of like therapy thing. You work in like a small group with the same people the whole time. You learn all each other's stuff, like all the way you know. And that was the first time in my life. I put the masks down Right, and I was.
Speaker 2:I was expecting judgment and rejection, especially with the thing. You know, the things I've done to my wife is literally the worst possible thing a husband can do to his wife, the ultimate betrayal, and I was expecting to be treated as such, you know. And instead I got understanding and empathy and compassion. And so I finally started to realize like, okay, honesty is the only way forward Like this. This game has to stop. And that was kind of the initial turning point and what ensued is essentially a nine-year struggle. So it took a lot of work for me to really kind of unpack my past and my mistakes and my failures and kind of the conditioning of my childhood to retrain myself how to actually be a healthy adult.
Speaker 2:And then after that too, I also went to a place called Mighty Oaks Warrior Programs. They have a men's legacy program. It was founded by Chad Robichaux, who was a Marine Force recon guy, and that program was really the real shift. So the onsite thing was okay. It kind of like taught me the factual things I needed to know. But Mighty Oaks actionized it right. It gave me like more of this. Like there was teeth to it in a way and it was also because it's not like a hug of that program. It was a very much like poke you in the chest, like my group counselor interrupted me one time. It was like hey man basically called me out, you know like in front of the group and I was like yep, you're right, you know so it was the first time in my life.
Speaker 2:I actually had like real accountability, you know, about all my crap and that that also. You know, there's Green Berets in my group, there's all these tough dudes from all these different you know kind of different military backgrounds and and then police to hear in some of their stories and I was just like, ok, you know, my problems aren't that bad. I need to man the F up here and take ownership. So that was like really the next shift had to lay it all out to my wife, you know, confess to her work on reconciliation there, and I thought for sure she would leave me. I mean, that is, I would rather be shot at again than have to have that conversation again. I was convinced she would leave me, um, and she didn't. You know, initially I think it was for for our daughter, for our daughter's sake, um.
Speaker 2:But over time, you know, we have actually repaired our marriage and not just to get back to like basics, like it is. Now we are ecstatically married. I mean I never thought we'd have what we have now and that's why I try and preach on these, these principles, so heavily is because when I started to actually embrace these truths of what a man should be, my wife has blossomed in response to it Right, and it's everything. The world won't tell you it's. It's not happy wife, happy life, it's a lot of these other things where there are times where I do correct my wife right, and there's a lot of strength. There's also a lot of understanding and empathy and compassion. And that journey over that kind of nine-year period took us from constantly fighting and being at each other's throats to now ecstatically married. And it was a lot of hard work.
Speaker 2:And I'm not going to lie to anyone and say like, oh, you're going to snap your fingers and fix it all. But again, like you said, it's that willingness to change. So nothing changed until I did. Nothing changed until I was willing to say I have a problem, or maybe I am the problem and what do I do about it.
Speaker 2:And for guys out there who maybe want to work with me, if I get an inkling that they've got a million excuses and they can explain away everything, I don't waste my time with you, brother. I'm going to tell you the truth that you need to hear, but I'm not going to try and convince you because clearly you're in your own way still, and that's the hardest thing about wanting to help another man is, he has to confront himself first and stop the act and say you know what? I'm willing to humble myself a little bit here and learn, and that's really all that's required. Once you can do that, I assure you you can change your life. Whatever your mistakes are, you surround yourself with the right people and you have that willingness, it will happen. So hopefully that answers the question fully.
Speaker 1:Let's dive into your journey. Coming into this space of not just surviving and getting your, your marriage, back on track, like that is one of the hardest things to like. Help somebody with like right, like divorce, like that's. You know, I'm a member of the club and I everybody thinks that, oh, you know, it's not that big of a deal. I mean, it absolutely fucking is a big deal.
Speaker 1:Divorce, divorce is a huge thing. You have so many people that just constantly cut down marriage and make it seem like it's not that important, that it's not something that we should all strive for in our lives. Like marriages are important or vital and it should definitely be a big decision where you sit down and you factor everything. I don't think it should be taken lightly. And to overcome that, to come through on the other side and then want to dive in to help others, that takes a lot of guts, man. That takes a lot of fucking guts because the most I have seen a lot of people in crisis, but oftentimes the most vulnerable and the most raw are the individual, especially men when they're facing that fight. So for you to step into that arena like bro, how did tell us about that? Like, where did that journey start In terms?
Speaker 2:of like what I do now professionally. Yeah, yeah, always knew I was going to do this. Through my own journey, just pursuing growth aggressively, surrounding myself with better men to teach me better ways, I just started, my awareness drastically increased, and so I think this is one of the coolest aspects about growth as a man is your self-awareness starts to just accelerate and you realize every time you hear someone say something you're like, ooh, I needed that, and you start. You start growing yourself without needing necessarily like all this extra work. You know, um, that started for me and it just became more and more obvious to me like, hey, I need to do real serious work here to really heal the past and actually move forward. Um, so, you know, I would say over like a three year period, I went like all in on, I have a lot of work to do. And then the results of that were just so impactful for me and my family that I was like okay, this isn't just a unique case, I'm not some special butterfly. This is truths that all men need.
Speaker 2:And again, I wasn't ever planning on being a coach or anything like that. I was working a corporate job. It's a high paying IT sales role. I was planning on just doing that. I was working a corporate job. It's a high-paying IT sales role. I was planning on just doing that. It's a 1% type of work. You're in and you're in. You can ride it out for a good 20, 30 years and have a good retirement.
Speaker 2:That was the plan, and it was just one day getting ready for work in 2023. I was literally putting on my suit in the mirror to go to this conference no-transcript, but I don't even know what that would be Right. If I just quit my job, what am I going to do? And so I.
Speaker 2:I again surrounded myself with all the guys who were successful business people or, or you know whatever in their own right, were a man of value who would honestly give me real feedback, and it just became more and more obvious that, okay, my experiences and my natural giftings all geared toward helping others in some capacity Right, and like my favorite thing about the military, it wasn't my own accomplishments, it was helping a soldier reach a new height or pass a school or, you know, become a better version of themselves. Those are my favorite memories from the Army, and so I knew that there was something there like. This is clearly what I'm wired for, and so then eventually Elite Sentinel. You know, this idea was born from kind of that desire to do that, and so again, for me it's a calling, and I'm also the first client.
Speaker 1:All the stuff that I needed to fix my life.
Speaker 2:That's the truths we teach. And instead of taking a decade, we crunch it into 12 weeks and give men the blueprint to do it rapidly. And so that's really the desire behind it and the drive behind it. And I recognize too that because I've kind of been there right, I've been the guy that was the problem. I know how to kind of cut through the crap and get guys out of their own way faster, to help them grow in the ways they need. And for me it's far beyond just the man it's. I know that if I pour into him and really teach him the things he needs and really get him out of his own way, his family wins, his community wins, his job wins. Right, the people he works with get a better guy to surround themselves with.
Speaker 2:And that's really where men are lacking so much today is they've been told you're worthless. Shut up and color, you know, be a good little boy, do what we tell you. Don't you dare disagree with a woman, right, and that's not good, that's polite, that's not kind. There are many cases where men should stand up and say no, we're not going to tolerate that because it would harm others. Right, we are supposed to stand in the gap. We're supposed to be the standard bearers. I love the NCO creed. I'm not an NCO, but there's so much in that creed that is very masculine. Right Like I will maximize the time of others, I will set the standard. You know my soldiers deserve good leadership. I will provide that leadership. That's men. That's what we're supposed to do. We're supposed to stand up and change the situation around us for good, not for selfish gain, not to promote ourselves, but using the skills and talents that we have, whatever they may be, for positive impact. And when you do that, people are gonna get mad about it because they don't like you. They want you to sit down in your little corner, but you will feel better about yourself and then all the people who actually need your blessing of leadership are going to benefit from it and have a better life as a result.
Speaker 2:Now, that's kind of what I started to notice was, as I leaned into these truths, not just for my marriage, but also in all these other aspects of my life, they just became more and more obvious about it's making things better for everyone. And that's where men find real purpose is when we're making those outcomes for others and ourselves like kind of simultaneously. It's that win-win situation and too many men today are just terrified of judgment or ridicule from others that they basically remove themselves from the equation. And then what happens in result is you lose self-respect. You lose self-confidence. You wonder why you can't get anything done. Your wife doesn't respect you. You're never having sex. Well, it's because you've never stood up and led.
Speaker 2:Now, and that's where we get all the mental health stuff right. So most men today are salty and I was this too. You're stressed, angry, lonely, tired, and you're yearning for more. Well, that yearning for more is your calling, it's your purpose, it's leadership in action. It's actually changing outcomes. So that's why Elite Sentinel exists. It wasn't some scheme to make money, it was like. This changed my life. I know it's going to change my life. Wait a second.
Speaker 1:You're not like Andy Elliott, I owe it.
Speaker 2:I do it to others, to uh, to, to pay this forward, because if I, if I didn't, I'd be squandering this experience and these skills I have. You know, like nothing else I'm going to do is going to make that kind of impact, you know. So it's it's very mission focused.
Speaker 1:I think that, uh, you're, you're on to something. There's a um, it almost feels like a viral epidemic in society men that don't want to intervene or interject and stand in in the way of something that's happening. We see it all the time, we see it, and when you do, they are quick to smash it down. I forget the name of the. Uh the marine, uh, the intervene on the subway, uh, exactly.
Speaker 2:I mean, it's a perfect example of like that's what we should want men to do exactly I've seen it firsthand. I've seen it firsthand there yeah, that others may live, you know we were, um, a great organization, best defense foundation.
Speaker 1:We were one of the stronghold events. Uh, we're walking downtown utah. A man I'm not going to put any more specifics, but just picture modern, non-military, male kind of figure it rapidly approaches us. It's like excuse me, there's something that needs your attention. There's something and that's the thing that I want you to key on something that needs my attention and that's the thing that I want you to key on, something that needs my attention. Now, to give you a little more clarity, there's like 15 of us all prior soft dudes and NFL players walking in rank and file, big dudes Like fucking NFL football players, super Bowl champions, walking down and soft guys. And the guy approaches me and my buddy, flo, hello. And he's like there's something that needs your attention over here. And I'm like I look over and it's it's about to be heated dispute, it's a domestic incident, it's what it is. And absolutely like hey, you need to fucking calm down, take a knee, breathe separate. Yeah, you don't need to be having this in public, but why the fuck didn't you say something?
Speaker 2:yeah, why didn't you?
Speaker 1:intervene and politely say, like get their attention just exactly like any other man. Hey, do you want the cops called on you? I think you need to take a break. Go there, cool down. You go back inside, like, if you need assistance, call the cops. Like this isn't the place. This is midday, but this, this guy felt the need to get somebody else because God forbid that somebody record him being a man and that blew my mind, yeah.
Speaker 2:Our culture has has beaten men down in that way and it's led them to believe that you always need to go to someone else for help, right, that you can't solve your own problems, and that it's. It's an absolute lie and if you think just a little bit critically about it, like well, why would they do that? Well, because if men can't solve their own problems, then they can't. They're easy to control, you know they're. They need someone bigger than themselves and they don't want you to be independent and strong, because then they can't control you. So I'm not trying to put my tinfoil hat on here, but you can just look at the stats across our country, look at all the disaster, the disaster, epidemic of fatherlessness, right, and all the stats that follow that of the likelihood to be incarcerated or do drugs or all these other kinds of stats that just come from that.
Speaker 2:I mean, it's not, it's not up for debate. Like, men need to be men, and so you know, maybe this is a good time to define, like what I call a good man, the principles that actually make you a good man. It's not always being the warrior right, it's not always just being Mr Tough Guy. There's absolutely a tender side to it too, and so there's four pillars it's king, warrior, mentor and friend. And when you balance all of these equally, you are now a real, authentic man. You become a tender warrior right. You're the right thing at the right time in the right place. And many of us, especially in the military, we lean really heavily to the king and warrior pillars and we kind of forget that we need to be the lover right, the friend and lover. And so, just at a very high level, king is the leadership one right. You're designed for it, you're bred for it, you have the capacity as a man to carry the weight, the burden of command, to make positive outcomes for other. And again, it's not for selfish gain, it's not to glorify yourself, it's a service, it's a gift that you provide to others, and everyone has worked with someone that was a good leader somewhere. Think about how much better that made your life feel when that leader was present. Okay, that's what we're talking about. That's what men should be providing. It's not to try and control people, it's not to be in charge, it's to make positive outcomes.
Speaker 2:Then the warrior pillar is kind of that second requirement that, okay, you got to back your leadership up. Right, there has to be this presence about you. So, physically, you should hone your body Non-negotiable One so you live longer. Two, so you can physically defend your family, should the moment call for it. But statistically that's probably not going to happen in the United States, right, you're probably never going to have to physically defend your family for the most part.
Speaker 2:Where are the real threats today? It's strength of will, character, morals, virtues, right. It's these intangible things that men have stayed silent on for generations now, and that's why we have pornographic books in public schools, teaching kids how to have gay sex at the age of six. Like guys, where were we to say enough's, enough, right, stand up. You have to have the strength of character and will to withstand the ridicule of other. Your conviction must be stronger than their negativity to do the right thing. That's the warrior mindset. It's hardly ever actually putting hands on something right. You're a Green Beret. You know what that's like. Have you had to do it since leaving the army? Probably not right. There's a reason, because we live in a civilized society. So where do we take that mindset and apply it in an action I was in?
Speaker 2:Fayetteville a few months back, so Okay, all right.
Speaker 1:Well, it was probably with another soft guy though.
Speaker 2:right, but you're right, man, that's the average one of us is not going to be getting in fist fights all the time. That's being a brute, that's not being a warrior.
Speaker 1:It's your will. It's standing up to what's being pushed upon you that doesn't go along with your values and morals, and we're losing that.
Speaker 2:It's the presence, that when you're around, people aren't going to act out of line. So and this is the key point here where I'm not, I'm not advocating that men go and pick fights everywhere to tell everyone else that they're wrong. That's not what I'm talking about either. But when, like when I'm in a room, when I'm present, people aren't going to be yelling at each other like because they know I'm going to correct them. Hey, you're not going to do that here, you're not going to do that in my presence. Well, who are you to say that? Well, I'm either going to take my family and we're leaving, or your behavior is going to change. Most men don't have the stomach to do that. They're so terrified of even standing up to people just misbehaving a little bit. Right, it's when it happens. We're going to confront it where. That's what I'm talking about. It's setting boundaries, but that takes some self-respect.
Speaker 2:And, yeah, there's two more pillars, but the mentor one is pretty straightforward and this has been heavily attacked, though, with the term mansplaining right, they try and tell you that, oh, if you dare try to help someone else, you're just mansplaining to them. Well, no, men are designed to teach right and Green Berets they're some of the teachers in the world. We love mastering skill and giving it to others. That is out of love and compassion for someone else to help them reach their fullest potential. And men have a knack for doing this in many facets of life. And if you have that skill, you should absolutely pay it forward to those who deserve your attention right Now. Not everyone's willing to learn we talked about that willingness earlier on but for those who are willing, you owe it to them to pay it forward. That's what being a good man is about. It's about enriching others' lives and that's where real legacy comes from, too is what you leave in people, not for them.
Speaker 2:And then the final pillar is the most important. So the first three are kind of like the table stakes of being a man, and this last one transforms you into the tender warrior, into the great man that people want to be around, and it's the friend and lover and it's things like empathy, compassion, understanding. They're not words we necessarily associate with masculinity, but I assure you think of the best people. You know, the best men. You know how often are they calm, stoic, emotionally regulated, loving, understanding in all situations, even with military brothers. Right, I don't need to beat my chest and yell at soldiers to get them to do stuff. My presence says that and I understand them and I listen to them.
Speaker 2:And same thing with my wife. Right, my family doesn't need the warrior George, they need the friend and lover. Right, my wife needs my tenderness, my gentleness, my understanding, and then I have enough strength to, if she's dysregulated, to handle her emotions and help her calm down and bring us back together in unity. And so that's where the foundation of what a good man is is so important is because then, as a result, you feel better, you gain self-respect, you gain confidence, you start to feel purpose again, and it's not like some you know secret formula or whatever. It's really that simple. It just takes a little bit of understanding and knowledge first to start applying it with wisdom, and then the results speak for themselves. You'll never go back once you embrace this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's you hit on something that's never talked about and it's only now coming to light. But then the institutions where you're getting them um him oftentimes come from areas that are are just, you know, we don't. We don't focus on it because we're taught from an early age. That's not for you. Like you, you don't need to be worried about mindfulness. You're needing to worry about emotional intelligence. Like and they absolutely it's. It's a vital aspect of being a good man emotional intelligence, understanding and emotional regulation.
Speaker 1:It's huge, yeah, but I think our generation of men were fed this lie that all you needed to worry about was being able to be hyper aggressive and focused on being the loudest one in the room, and that's just not true. It's absolutely not true. The best leaders I've ever had, the best, the, the, the best individuals that I encountered in my time in service had that, and I think there's something to the faith pair, uh, pillar, where that comes into play, because all the guys that were strong in faith were also very strong in emotional intelligence and understood the importance of being able to, you know, sit down with you, hold space and talk with you and see where you're at and figure out what the hell was going on in your head at the time, and that's why I champion that. It's like I always say mind, body and spirit. When you're broken, you need to address all three, and I want to kind of focus on that a little bit while we still have a little bit of time.
Speaker 2:Were you always strong in faith or was that something that you developed as part of your, your rebuilding? So I, like, I was raised in the church and all that kind of stuff, um, but I was pretty lukewarm, I was, I was. It was just again. It was almost another mask, you know it w it wasn't real. Uh, it was very surface level, um, and and after all of my mistakes and flaws and really getting help, um, it really became serious for me later on. Uh, around like 2019 is when I really started getting real serious about my faith. Um, and then it just has continued to, to, to grow there, um, and I think that's why it took so long, too, for me to feel this calling towards what I'm doing now professionally was I don't think I was ready for it yet because my faith hadn't refined me enough yet.
Speaker 2:And you start to realize very quickly it's not about you. You can't fake humility. You can't fake some of these qualities that's required of you to actually be of service to someone else. And, at the end of the day, it is not about me. My name is not on the logo for a reason because it's about every man who comes through and him being able to take it and multiply it in his own life and make an impact. And as my faith has been perfected and grown, so too have I grown in response. And I know it's not for everyone. Everyone has very strong opinions about it, but for me, the evidence in my life of pursuing God first and aggressively has yielded so many results that just from a raw kind of dollars and cents point of view pros and cons there's no other option to me.
Speaker 2:Right and again, I'm a man under orders, right? So when I talk about, like, leading your family, well, I have someone to answer to as well. I'm not just making this up like whatever George wants. I have a set of rules and commandments which are if you read the Bible and you claim to follow the Bible, you know the commandment to love your wife as Christ loves the church is probably the hardest ask in the entire Bible of a man. Yeah, just be like Jesus. You know? Like oh, no big deal, right? So if you really dig into what God has said, men, be this. It's all the things I described those four pillars, and it is. It's not a suggestion, it's a commandment, which means you're going to be judged according to what you do with it right. And so for me, that's all the motivation I need.
Speaker 2:When I die and I face him, he's going to look at me and say I gave you this wife, I gave you this daughter and I gave you these skills. What did you do with it? Did you help others or did you take what I gave you and did you squander it right? There's the parable of the talents. You know, the one servant gets 10, and the other one gets five and the other one gets one, the guys who get the 10 and five. They went and doubled the investment, but then the wicked servant went and buried it in the ground.
Speaker 2:And that's what we are. We're all those servants. We're supposed to take what we have and make it matter, do something with it that helps other people. And so, for me, that's where this drive is just so strong, because it is not about me, it's not about anything that I want, it's about that impact. And I know that I'm going to be judged accordingly to that. And if I don't pursue it and I don't put myself out there and be willing to serve others, then I'm gonna have to answer for that in the end.
Speaker 1:We have to maximize the talents we were given in that second chapter. When it comes to Elite Sentinel, how many coaches do you have? Is it just you just forging away at the time, or do you have multiple coaches working with you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so we've got a team of instructors, and, again, that's by design. You know, I know a lot, I'm pretty good at what I do, I've got a lot of wisdom to share, but I'm just one perspective, you know, and and just like an ODA has to have all the different roles to be successful. I'm no different, I'm not that good, you know, and um, so, yeah, we've got a team of instructors, um, four of us total, so me plus three. Right now, uh, the vision is to train up one more man so that we can have two groups going simultaneously. Um, but, yeah, we've got a former green.
Speaker 2:Beret is one of the guys. We got a fitness coach and then my co-host on the podcast, brandon, is also one of my instructors, because when it comes to emotional intelligence and some of these harder to master subjects, he's the guy who taught me a lot of this stuff. So it was a no-brainer to have him in. And it's pretty hilarious too, because we just had our weekly call the other night and man, he, he just drops these mic, drop moments of wisdom on the guys and like you'll just watch the eyeballs just explode, and like the guys will be texting me, like man, that dude's brain is 500 pounds, you know. It's like, yeah, that's why he's here, guys, so that the the reason for that is, again, I just have one perspective, I have one set of skills. We're tapping into all of the instructors to help each man where he's at, and we're going to have different experiences and ways to connect with them and really help them better.
Speaker 2:So that's the vision behind it and, again, it's focused on the mission of it's about each man coming through. It's not like our own selfish desires or whatever. We're there to serve and guide the men through it. They have to do the work though. Right, there's and maybe I'm not your program, maybe you go somewhere else men who are listening to this, but you have to be willing to do the work. If you're not willing to do the work, no one's coming to save you. No one is going to just give you some magic pill. There is no way out. But through, and until you're willing to embrace that, nothing will change for you. Everything else is just a band-aid. That's why guys lose tons of weight and then they put it right back on, or they do 75 hard and like, yeah, I missed her discipline, and then they throw it all away.
Speaker 2:Right, after that because you've never changed you from the inside out. You were just doing all these external things to tell yourself you're changing, but you never really unlocked the core things within you that needed to be changed, and you probably did it by yourself. That's why Elite Sentinel works, too, is it's not just what we teach you. It's done in a group of men, like a platoon, on purpose to force you to finally connect with other men. Because the truth is, men are designed for connection. We're designed for deep and true brotherhood, where you have conversations like hey, man, you said you're going to stop looking at porn. How's that going? Did you struggle this week? Do you need to talk about that? They're like real conversation. Like hey, my wife said this and I'm really pissed. I don't know how to handle that situation. How many friends do you have right now that you can have that and be a productive conversation? Right, we're gonna maybe hold you accountable too.
Speaker 2:So that's why this works so well. Is we force that brotherhood to really happen. We pair you up with battle buddies, all of it, right? We do everything that the army gets right when it comes to connecting men and we're leveraging it now, instead of combat, to make you a better husband, a better father, better career. We've had multiple guys get promoted already at their jobs because the leadership skills we train are so effective and they start stepping up at work so much their boss is like whoa, promote that man. There's a lot of benefits we provide, but again, it's from those truths, those fundamental principles of men have to work together and you have to be willing to do the work and we're going to show you the way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I got a little bit of time left and I just want to touch on this. Like, now more than ever we can get bombarded with coaches and programs and I certainly don't advocate for a lot of these bullshit. Train with an operator, come do a bootcamp with me and we'll put you through the suck. Like, if you're listening and you thought about doing you know I'm not going to give them any fucking promotion. You know which ones I'm fucking talking about. Yeah, no amount of weekend warrior thrash sessions will ever give you an inkling of what it's like to go through a special forces selection or assessment, and that's not what makes a fucking man. I'm not a man because I went to selection. No navy seal is a man or better than you because they went through buds.
Speaker 1:What you need, if you need help, if you need accountability, you need a real coach, a real mentor. Look for that. Look for a real coaching program. Look, george is right here. Look him up, go to Elite Technical Coaching, check him out. I am by no means telling you that the only way to get better is to go through a program, but I will say this For thousands of years, for eons, men have improved their lot in life by seeking guidance and seeking mentorship. If you want to improve, if you want to get better, you can't do it in a vacuum. It takes accountability, it takes going up to somebody that has a little bit more understanding of what you were going through to coach you through it. And again, if you want a fitness program, if you want a fitness coach, check out my coach, terry Wilson.
Speaker 1:I'll give him in the description again on my episode description, because not only do I think he's fucking badass, but he used to be my SAR major and I will always promote my brotherhood. But if you're also looking for a coach, right now, right here in front of you, george Hayworth, check out elite Sentinel coaching today and, um, get out of your rut. You don't have to do it forever. Just do it until you have an understanding of who you are and what your next chapter is going to be.
Speaker 2:Well, any 12 weeks. Yeah, all you need. That's fucking powerful and you'll never be the same.
Speaker 1:George, I can't thank you enough for being here. If people want to check out your program, where can they go?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's theelitesentinelcom. That's the best way to learn more about the program. It's all spelled out right there. You can apply right on the website and then I'll get in direct contact with you once you've applied and then otherwise you can just look me up on all the socials, much everywhere. I'm most active on X, um, so if you want to really like DM me or something, that's probably the best place. I'm going to see it, um, I don't in IG, man. I just I don't know why I can never like stay up with it.
Speaker 2:So, but anyway, yeah, man we're out there, we're everywhere and we're uh, you know, again I just kind of put their head in the sand, or oh, that's not, you know, I don't have to worry about that, that's my wife's problem or whatever. No, it's on us. It's on us to start changing course. Like, look at where our country has gotten to. That's because men fail to stand up. And so if you want to work with me, cool. If not, that's fine, man, like I get it.
Speaker 2:But I want you to think about these things and actually start taking some ownership in your daily life today, because that's how we collectively change this country, that's how we make positive outcomes for everyone is by all of us kind of pulling our weight. I, you know, I can't go save us all, I'm just one guy, but if a million of us start changing our ways, what would that do, right? So that's my word of encouragement to everyone out there is you know, step up, take ownership of it, and if, when you start to put yourself out there, other guys are going to recognize it and they're going to want to help you right.
Speaker 1:You will not have to do this alone, absolutely. And then, when we take care of ourselves, we can actually take care of others. That is the number one thing. So take that, jot it down. That's free advice. I'm Danny Caballero. George, thank you for joining us. We'll see you all next time. Until then, take care. Thanks for tuning in and don't forget to like, follow, share, subscribe and review us on your favorite podcast platform. If you want to support us, head on over to buymeacoffeecom. Forward slash SecHop podcast and buy us a coffee. Buy us a coffee. Connect with us on Instagram X or TikTok and share your thoughts or questions about today's episode. You can also visit securityhallcom for exclusive content, resources and updates. And remember we get through this together. If you're still listening the episode's over. Yeah, there's no more Tune in tomorrow or next week. Thank you.
