Security Halt!
Welcome to Security Halt! Podcast, the show dedicated to Veterans, Active Duty Service Members, and First Responders. Hosted by retired Green Beret Deny Caballero, this podcast dives deep into the stories of resilience, triumph, and the unique challenges faced by those who serve.
Through powerful interviews and candid discussions, Security Halt! Podcast highlights vital resources, celebrates success stories, and offers actionable tools to navigate mental health, career transitions, and personal growth.
Join us as we stand shoulder-to-shoulder, proving that even after the mission changes, the call to serve and thrive never ends.
Security Halt!
What happens when military service ends — but the real battles begin at home?
In this episode of Security Halt!, host Deny Caballero sits down with Merrill Slepica — C-130 Gunner, veteran entrepreneur, and founder of Hammer 41 Leatherworks — to unpack the raw realities of life after the military.
From combat deployments to the quiet struggles of fatherhood, divorce, and mental health — Merrill shares his journey of resilience, recovery, and rediscovering purpose through creativity and community.
Together, Deny and Merrill dive deep into:
- The mental health battles veterans face after service
- The impact of military life on marriage, parenting, and family dynamics
- Financial literacy, divorce, and navigating alimony
- The healing power of entrepreneurship and creating with your hands
- The importance of building community for veteran support
- Lessons learned in leadership, fatherhood, and personal growth
- The journey of Hammer 41 Leatherworks — and how purpose is often found in the struggle
This episode is for every service member, veteran, or family member navigating the challenges of transition, healing, and building a new life after the uniform comes off.
🎧 Listen now — and remember, healing happens in community.
👉 Follow, Like, Share, and Subscribe to Security Halt! on:
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Join us — and help us keep veterans connected, growing, and thriving!
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Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Community Connections
03:04 Entrepreneurial Journeys and Healing
05:49 The Reality of Military Life
09:08 The Impact of Combat Experiences
11:56 Navigating Family Dynamics During Deployment
15:08 Fatherhood and Legacy
18:01 The Importance of Adventure and Exploration
25:50 The Journey of Becoming a Man
28:32 Learning and Teaching: The Father-Son Dynamic
30:53 Navigating Finances and Life Lessons
33:02 Breaking the Cycle: Fatherhood and Presence
36:35 The Struggles of Service Members in Family Dynamics
42:56 Mental Health and Divorce: The Hidden Battles
46:54 The Reality of Alimony and Financial Strain
52:29 The Importance of Advocacy and Awareness
55:54 Finding Your Place in the Military
58:54 Reflections on Military Experiences
01:01:28 The Reality of Military Recognition
01:06:17 Building a Business: Hammer 41 Leatherworks
01:10:09 Community and Support in Entrepreneurship
Instagram: @securityhalt
Tik Tok: @security.halt.pod
LinkedIn: Deny Caballero
Check out Hammer 41 Today!
https://www.hammer41leatherworks.com/
Produced by Security Halt Media
Security Odd Podcast. Let's go the only podcast that's purpose-built from the ground up to support you Not just you, but the wider audience, everybody. Authentic, impactful and insightful conversations that serve a purpose to help you. And the quality has gone up. It's decent and it's hosted by me, danny Caballero.
Speaker 2:Hey, what's up man?
Speaker 1:Live and direct from our 1997 most-watching track. It's the preferred studio.
Speaker 2:That's it.
Speaker 1:Sound comes really crisp, nice breeze.
Speaker 2:My dog gets to hang out with me. It, it's whatever oh man, merrill dude, how you doing, brother man, it's been, it's been a whirlwind since we've since we've seen each other, brother, how you been doing good man, a hammer, 41 leatherworks is fucking crushing it.
Speaker 1:Dude, uh, everywhere dude, everyone's wearing them.
Speaker 2:Thank you very much rad man.
Speaker 1:It's good to see another entrepreneur in the fucking trenches making it happen. Try and, bro, try and it's been a blast dude.
Speaker 2:I've met some incredible people, especially from, like, your guys's community. Yeah, it's been. It's been just eye-opening and the relationships and friendships I've made that have been amazing. So it's been nothing short of a and the relationships and friendships I've made in that have been amazing. So it's been sort of a blessing to be able to take this off.
Speaker 1:Dude, it's that area man. I always, I always tell people it's not seventh group, it's not Eglin, it's not Herbert field, it's not Duke field, it's an entire community, it's it's. And let's not forget Pensacola, you guys, it's an entire community it's, it's, and let's not forget pensacola. You guys get honorable mention. You're right there, but that entire community, really, it's like fucking seaman, you're the worst but everybody there man yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Everybody in that area, man. It's like you have such wonderful people, wonderful communities. Everybody supports each other. I can't think of the amount of races or fundraiser events that are always mutually supporting man, just because the people in northwest florida are just fucking awesome, dude, and I think it's amazing man.
Speaker 2:It's been a. It's been a pretty cool to see how it links so well up with south florida and mcde. You know being so calm down there. Yeah, dude, I mean it's just crazy. The AFSOC and Special Operations community around here is so big and fluid that I mean how they bother the city where I live in Navarre. It's the second largest like homing community I think it's Florida or something like that, or the Asian or some shit. It's crazy, dude. It's like 50 000 patriots, ex-patriots, that live here yeah, I'm trying to get.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to get back to myself, man, I'm trying to get back to the, the old shalimar area come on. We keep telling big air force like hey, you know, like yeah, can you just move us right back, can you make?
Speaker 2:it. Yeah, where are you guys at now?
Speaker 1:we're up up in Alabama for a time being wife she's. She's in big officer school up here doing big things yeah.
Speaker 2:Right on, right on. Yeah, I was never privy to that being, uh, being a sweaty yeah man, god, dude, it's um.
Speaker 1:It's good to see you make it through your journey because you, you had a rough. We met when we were both going through our healing journey, not quite on the backside just like at the very beginning. Man, and there's a, there's dude. So many people I still keep in touch with. Um, fucking. One of the craziest things is we haven't community also interlapse when you're in a moment of crisis. Everybody's going to the same hospitals.
Speaker 2:That's right. I know Checking them into the same hotels. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:You do the work. You can get better. You make some good entrepreneurs when you're on the backside of healing.
Speaker 2:I think it's a diversion for your mind.
Speaker 1:know what I mean trying to feel that sense of purpose again dude, it's so fucking true, man, like you got to dive into something. I tell people the there's this idea that once you get out, like you're just gonna sit at home, watch netflix, chill the fuck out, fucking, do puzzles and maybe, maybe. But the reality is like you're somebody of purpose, you're somebody had a mission and and it's it suits you to go after something again, to put your sights on something, and the more impossible it may seem, I think the better. Um, sometimes, like this past week, I don't think it was the best, but fuck, there's a lot of sleepless nights where you're just like, fuck, maybe the factory job seems like a better idea.
Speaker 2:I know, dude, I'm going to work at the pick and pull you know what I mean or fucking yank car parts and shit. Fuck. It's been a rough one, man. It's been a journey, though, like you said, I feel blessed that I got to meet you at the time I did, and that was kind of the beginning of my journey as far as being away from the military's guidance in my journey.
Speaker 2:That was the first time I stepped away and said I need more help and did the volunteer route before I, because I was going to get directed route and they're about to denif me and take me flying and all these other things that come up right when you're about to retire and I didn't need to happen. So I went voluntarily and then, uh, you know, that's why I met you, buddy. Yeah, I wasn't about the group thing at all, as you remember yeah, the first week I was like what the fuck am I doing, dude.
Speaker 2:But I tell you what, man, those weeks there I learned so much, and just watching how you handled that whole environment was kind of like a template for me to build from. You know what I mean. So I trusted you from the beginning, and there even from afar, and I was like, all right, dude, I got to see how this dude's taking a journey so that I can kind of emulate it, at least till I get my own level. So then that was very helpful, man. And one thing I noticed that you talked about a lot was, besides your shoes, was your run on them, ocas or whatever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude, that was early on, when I was still in my orthopedic shoes, man.
Speaker 2:In my special shoes.
Speaker 2:All the time, but I remember you used to always talk about tools and like how you kept building your tool belt and like listening to things, and I remember you told me another time off kind of topic to try to pick out you know a couple of things that pertain to how I can build my own tool set, and I did, and I ended up finding those and inadvertently searching for the tool that works for me. I found how to find my center in different opportunities. You know what I mean. Yeah, instead of like looking for wins, looking for the guidance to find the win so that also keeps me motivated, moving forward instead of sitting there going like, all right, where's my win at? You know what I'm?
Speaker 2:saying Like what was me or some other dumb shit yeah.
Speaker 1:It's easy to fall victim to like the the pity train early on. Like so easy. Even now, man, like I always tell people, like this is your ability to build back this year. If you're currently going through it and you're getting help, like this is your chance to start it all off and like clean slate. And there's gonna be some people that make you want to feel like, oh, it's okay, like you know, just just wallowing.
Speaker 1:It's like no dude, no move forward you know, take that medicine, like understand, like hey, I need to have some grace, I need to give myself some fucking, some leeway, but that's huge dude.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's huge. I never knew that one either how to, how to reapplaud yourself, but without, like you know, fakely getting an award from the squadron you work in. You know how to honestly appreciate your own acceleration, or something of that nature yeah, man yeah yeah, let's, let's free and dive into that man.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about, um, let's go to your journey. It's like I think you not only a lot, a lot of people glamorize a lot of the jobs but they don't look at what it takes to do the job and what it um, the toll it takes, right like what it happens to the individual, and I think your career field is a prime example of like you. Look how sexy it could be to be in that sky fortress. Fucking, just fucking, just laying down all the fucking hell and pain, all of it.
Speaker 1:So take us back there, man, take us to the. What that mission is like, you know flying around in the gunship.
Speaker 2:It's like and I tell my friends jokingly, but you know, and the fucking actual is that I live my life kind of like a 14 year old kid. I might have said this on your last fucking podcast. There's some kid up there behind these eyeballs.
Speaker 2:They to me like he's a big fucking robot dude and that's how I feel I run my life dude, and I just kind of like things that entice me when I didn't have or before I learned what the world is really about, are kind of re-enticing me again so they get me happy to kind of live life. You know what I mean and that's been a big deal considering, like you said, the job and what it is and and it is sexy. You know it's like cool man, you fly around in a gunship and do some work, you know, but that's like just like anything and any job that you got. I mean you guys are called cool guys. You know what I mean. There's a reason for that shit, but it's also what you see and talk about. Is what Like this much, but the rest of it, or the aftermath and effects, that's with or without faith, it doesn't matter. But like I believe that you know I'm in this position because there would have been, if not me, somebody else who might not have been able to handle some of those things that we do.
Speaker 2:You know, when you're blasting a dude, nailing a goat or body tossing or some shit like that, you know what I'm saying. So some people can't handle that and we ended up running into it a few times in the plane over a Mitch, you know, and you got a new kid on there who's tense during the guns fight or call for fire action and he freezes during a gun malfunction or something you know and like I've had that and then I got reprimanded when I got home because I threw the kid against the block of ammo. You know what I mean. So that's all part of it. It's all sexy and stuff, but you know it does take a toll on you. Man. I had 13 in my career, 13 deployments, uh, gunship wise. I had eight um or seven, seven or eight um, verse seven, something like that, yeah and uh. But yeah, it's still impactful man it's so impactful.
Speaker 1:We we now more than ever. And then you see it on online and and it's quickly become this fascination with kill cam. Before it was just something that was reserved for us after mission kill cam review.
Speaker 2:For sure, for sure it's every every morning oh my kill tv everywhere everywhere, everywhere, and you for a split second.
Speaker 1:I would imagine some people are like, oh my fucking god, this is a real human being getting a fucking grenade dropped on him from a fucking drone like, but then it gets desensitized, then you it gets turned into memes, it gets turned into humor and I'm like dude, imagine being in that fucking bird getting that call because you're on the comms. You're hearing that fucking commander calling for you, for your crew, to come on station and fucking lay down some hate to save some american lives that's, that's fucking different dude that's fucking different you're seeing yeah, not only are you watching the engagement of the enemy combatant, but if it's a heated firefight, now you have americans and you're watching over them.
Speaker 1:You're watching those pilots are talking, they're engaging and I've talked to so many people. They're like man, like yeah, my life's not in danger, they can't engage me, but watching down and seeing those americans, those soft troops, oh, my gosh so much danger and in so much in that life or death, and even though that that fucking commander is keeping his shit calm and cool, you're like fuck, dude, they're in the world of hurt.
Speaker 2:You know, we started playing the u model. I flew in the ac-130u model, right. So we had a pretty large crew, it was 13, and then down range we did something else. But, um, basically flew with 13 dudes and two of them were our sensor operators, right, two of the other enlisted guys. I think we had five enlisted on there. Uh wait, five, six, seven, eight, eight enlisted on there and the two sensor operators sit behind their TVs. You know what I mean? They have TV and IR and they got four screens there.
Speaker 2:So you know, I was just a gun monkey in the back and I can hear everything. And that's one, one reason why I always he likes it to take those Afghanistan trips and then to always go back, because I'd never wanted to go to Iraq, syria, because that mission is so different, it's such a different typeset mission and between the Sam's and this and everything that can reach out and touch you, bro, and I'm not even trying to be on that level everything that can reach out and touch you, bro, and I'm not even trying to be on that level, I don't want a fair fight, bro. I mean, I get it, dude, it's part of the thing. You know what I mean. It is what it is like. If they would have been like, hey, you're going to iraq, I'd have been like whatever.
Speaker 2:So, uh, I, I liked being over there for that aspect of familiarity and you know shit like that. So when I'm listening on comms and we got team break, like you said, and listening to the sensors talk to the pilot, even away from comms, going out of the plane, you know, building that, painting the picture for the pilots or anyone else listening in the plane, you know, essentially bring yourself to that moment Just like a video game dude. It's so crazy these days how the video games emulate it. It's in like a different perceptual aspect, you know.
Speaker 1:I can sit there Call of Duty, fucking. What was it? Modern Warfare 2.
Speaker 2:Come on dude. An entire mission they're just, they're just short of laying out the words like, like for chicks and kids. You know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're just short of labeling that out there. I heard that on a fucking on a meme the other day talking about mams, and no, I didn't want to say it first. So there you go. You did. I'm going to wipe that out later. Dude, yeah, but no shit man, you know. But even getting back into the plane, just putting yourself into that situation, dude, that mind frame is so crazy that you have to just I mean just like you. So it's just a different perception of the same mission. It's like you have to take away family, you have to take away anything, you have to take away anything back home. You know what I mean, so I would do my diligence in my first days. First five days down range. You know when you had to work out the shits and you got to get the food accumulated in your body you got to find the gym again and the laundry, and then and then.
Speaker 2:in that time too I would try to nonchalantly forget my family, which crucified me in the comments, whatever.
Speaker 1:But I would do that.
Speaker 2:Everybody has to figure out what they need, because my family, my two boys, they are everything in my orchestra, right. So I had their names tatted on the inside of my arm because I roll my sleeves up when I operate those guns, Just so if I needed something, I could look down, cool, red, and not think about back home again, because then it just becomes a distraction, dude, and I never wanted to have that variable. You know whether it would have or not. I just never wanted to give myself that opportunity. And that is just like in my mental health journey alleviating stress, drama and other things like that not allowing a second thought, another option which conduct a variable that you don't need yeah all that.
Speaker 2:See that big ass circle I did there I liked it.
Speaker 1:I'm in a car.
Speaker 2:I'm not driving. Everybody has to figure out what they need.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know my wife and I were both deployed my last deployment we did not talk on a constant. When we talked, it was very precise, to the point, like, hey, I'm good, you're good. It's one of those things where it's like hey, she's on red side. It made it a lot easier, she does.
Speaker 2:She knows, she's literally. She's red on.
Speaker 1:She sees what's going on down range.
Speaker 2:Dude that's so rad dude, that's got to make sense of comfort for her.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it made it very easy for me because when she sees yeah, she sees what's going on in country and AO, she knows what air. She's the one that's seeing literally what's coming across in the corridors, so she knows where I'm going out. We don't have to talk, we don't have to make this grand gesture of like oh man, dance around words like no she knows what's going on.
Speaker 1:It's like, hey, I'm safe, I'm good yeah, but there's a lot of people that have that, they, they for them. It's easier to have that constant talking, constant engagement. For me it was very much like memes I love you, I miss you, can't wait to be home and then very short, very brief, because, dude, for six to seven months in those rotations it's fucking hit, hit, hit, go, go, go, go, hard, hard, hard. Right, I don't, I don't have the time to like, even like other family members or close friends. It was like you might get a meme from me, you may, you may get a thumbs up, but you don't have time, and I think everybody has their own way of dealing with, with stress and with the job when you're deployed, man, um, so everybody has to find that, that balance, what works for them, what doesn't like I know some guys didn't even talk to their family, like it was just a known thing.
Speaker 2:Like I said, it takes a certain, it takes a certain person, dude. You know, I, I have friends that that are got their kids coming up. Now they're about the same age to join and they're like, hey, you know, talk to mr ace and see what he says, or whatever. And I'm like, hey, man, what do you want to do? I want to be a dad of that, right on, dude, or how about this? Because you're not really sure. Why don't you just go be finance or something or services and do four years and then make a choice, you know, and get a degree or do something Because you can have, you can make your rank and work, finance and make that same amount of money as I do breaking balls and going crazy down range. I didn't learn that, like I thought the more I did, the more I'd get paid, and guess what?
Speaker 1:No, no. But there is something to be said about having an adventure man.
Speaker 1:That's why, like I never want, I never want to take away from my, my, my kids idea and in fact I don't want them to stay home. I don't. Everybody says he's like no, and I say this not to be an asshole or be a jerk to anybody that stay in their hometown. You don't have to serve to be a good person. You don't have to be in the military to be a great man, to be a great provider. You do not have to do that. You are a great. You can be a great human being never served a day in life.
Speaker 1:What I want my kids to understand is you need adventure. You need to go do something grand. Get away from the town you were brought up in, Get away from the normal environment you were raised. I don't care if they take a trip abroad and bike abroad or something. Go have an adventure early on in life. It'll give you perspective, It'll give you an understanding of how the world works and then, when you come back to this country, you'll realize how good we have it. You'll understand that the American way of life is something that should be cherished and that American dream should be fought for. And maybe along the way, you realize that maybe I've had it good and I owe it to this country. I owe it to this country to serve. Maybe or maybe not, I just think that I want my kids to grow up thinking that the world needs to be explored, you need to go see something.
Speaker 2:And if you don't?
Speaker 1:that's cool, that's on you. If you played it safe and you stayed home, hey, nothing wrong with that. I just think that we, as human beings, we long for going after the big and the impossible. I really think it's within us. I really think that's part of the american dream too is to get out there and go do brave, big things. You don't do that by becoming a banker in the hometown you grew up in.
Speaker 2:No again, no, no no shade to you, mr banking man. There it comes, there it comes, fuck you. Yeah. Oh, dad, you're done.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just and that's for guys or girls Like I really want my daughter to go out there and have an adventure. Man, go do crazy shit. I just think that life's too short, I agree I agree, I'm.
Speaker 2:I got a. Uh see minor 17 and 14 now.
Speaker 2:So next year I'll have a freshman and a senior and the oldest who is absolutely in love with cars now, both of them actually, yeah, they're doing car work and, uh, that's just a dream as a dad. Obviously, to have a couple, couple whatever you got a boy, a girl, girl, girl whatever you got to have them be passionate is something that helps you mentally. Yeah, and you know they've been. They've been right along in the seat through my journey, my mental health recuperation, because a lot of this all started at the end of my first divorce.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean yeah, dude that was rough, that was, that was a, that was a banger dude and and the thing was is I didn't know, I didn't know the tools at the time, I didn't have a lot of that shit, I was just shit. I was a year out from retiring when I got divorced, man yeah, and so it's like 19 years almost, you know, and I don't regret. I don't look back and say I wish I would have you know. Um, I had two beautiful kids out of it and you know life and I got to experience a lot of shit. So yeah.
Speaker 2:I always thought it was pertinent for the boys to see how I recouped from some of those low times. Um, even recently, you know life's uh throwing another curve ball and um, I wanted to make sure that the boys saw that I can land on my seat, you know, morally, yeah, and stay focused and just do what I need to do. You know, I became a Facebook marketplace wizard Wizard man. I've been on that shit dude.
Speaker 1:Sometimes less is more man, sometimes less is more. Dude it is, bro. It's a good exercise, I like nothing.
Speaker 2:I just gotta come to this place and redoing everything. Thankfully, there's a lot of people that want to give away stuff too, so I'm not above free shit. You know what I'm saying. So it's been really good, and it's been good to help me find new centers, finding things, and this has really, really, really strengthened my spiritual recovery. Finding things and, and this, this is really, really really strengthened my spiritual recovery also, so I'm very grateful for that. And I am still a Lutheran.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean, so you can't follow me too hard there guy, I'll bring you over to the Catholic side, yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm just no, I'm just trying to put another sign on your door and bustle out I'm out of here.
Speaker 1:You know, one thing I find remarkable too about your story is like.
Speaker 1:I don't have a lot of friends that had a strong father figure in knowing your story and seeing how strong your father was raising his boys, it's a beautiful thing to be able to see you navigating the same waters with the same strength and then not coming from a place of like. I've never seen this done before. It's like, no, you right, you have a role model, you have a father, and being able to see you go through that journey is fucking really awesome, man, thank you, sir I appreciate that a lot because,
Speaker 1:I know how tight how close you guys are you, your brother and your father and I think that's one of the beautiful things about life, like everything happens for a reason. And then having experience like like dude I have, I know what it takes to be a good dad. I know what it takes to be a good man and I don't have to worry about that. I had the prime example growing up and come lose. You know, whatever comes my way, like I'm gonna navigate that. Do you feel like that's right? You've been able to tap into that?
Speaker 2:in that spirit, I do man I I do wholeheartedly and it's actually was echoed by my dad saying that, you know, once he refound his bank found his faith and his strength and that it helped him navigate a lot of things and his just mental recovery from whatever he was dealing with at the time.
Speaker 2:So I took that to heart. You know, and I remember we had a conversation this is a while ago and not really pertinent to anything, but I told him that I felt a certain way that maybe I felt like second right in a situation. I felt a certain way that maybe I felt like second rate in a situation, and and he texted me back and said you're the only one that can make yourself feel that way. And that's all he wrote. I love you, cowboy. And that was it. That was it. And I sat there and I looked at that text and I was like this motherfucker man, because as soon as I read it, bro like my hair stood up and it was just like I got smacked by himself.
Speaker 2:Dude, you know what I mean. And it made so much sense that no shit, no shit. It's like when people feel they've been offended by something. I said yeah, only you can make yourself feel that way.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, don't get me wrong, there's some flagrant shit to say to people. Yeah, like only you can make yourself feel that way. Yeah, you know, I mean, don't get wrong, there's some flagrant shit to say to people, but you know I think it's really helped my spiritual journey like because I know my dad has done that and I really have tried to emulate a lot of things uh, when I finally realized how to become a man, you know and not- even just a father, because that's a whole nother fucking process becoming, tell me, a man dude, really.
Speaker 2:But one thing my dad did he did really well with me was teach me how to be a gentleman. Uh, he took the time to show me the tie, tying tough lengths and being fitted for a suit, and standing up and shaking people's hands and looking them in the eyes X Y Z, right yeah, and looking them in the eyes X Y Z, right, yeah. So I really try to make that a point to the boys. She's going to have to be a gentleman and a good person, because I believe it's necessary in character, because if you have a strong character man, you can help your own self with recovery. Right, because then you don't have to doubt shit, you don't have to worry about what people really think of you. Hey, if you're not out telling lies, you don't got to remember what the fuck he said, right, so that leaves stress and anxiety out of it, which is all day long.
Speaker 2:I'm dodging those fucking guys, you know, and uh, so those, those are the kinds of things that I found through my, my journey of unrecovery mentally, which will be ever long. Obviously I'm not. I'm not an idiot, um, but having a strong father there, I am extremely happy that I was able to pull a lot of things and uh and kind of send that down to the kiddos, you know. But one thing I will say is that when I as much as the boys are into cars and they're doing these things, I send my dad updates and he's like man, I don't even know what the hell you're talking about. He was not a mechanic bro.
Speaker 2:That dude had like one bucket of tools in the house and shit. Oh man, I'll tell you what he was an hockey player, Bro yeah, yeah, and then I got that for Christmas years later, dude, you know, guys are rough for a little while.
Speaker 1:It's important too, though you have to understand like very few men have, like they're like the complete masters at everything. Man Like you can only take so much man, you can only be like that great. There are some exceptions. There are some fucking dudes out there that just mastered fucking everything and we're power team motherfuckers.
Speaker 2:They're more role models for us, I guess.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude, fucking everything, and we're power team motherfuckers. They're more role models for us. I guess. You master, you master a handful of things, you're really good at those, and then you, you have to commit yourself to learn. That's the one thing, though you have to commit yourself to learn.
Speaker 2:That's been, that's been one of the most fun things, the funnest, funnier, whatever funnest things that I've that I've been doing since I retired, with learning, yeah, and then relearning how to learn, you know, and building relationships and xyz, but in a different mental space. That's been cool, man. And then my, my sons are smart little whips, so the one teaches me everything about, you know, wars of the past and every airplane that's been in the air force thing and wants to be just a ranger and xyz and then my other one teaches me everything in the world about ap courses that I don't understand and stuff about his lexus.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean? He's rolling in a yakuza 97 ls 400 you know what I mean, yeah dude, but that's ever broken. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, last night we replaced prank police.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. Yeah, that's ever broken.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm saying. Last night we replaced prank bullies.
Speaker 2:But, those are the things that we get to share, man, and I get to learn from them. And another good thing catching up with my faith again has been, you know, at night I'm starting to do my self-reflections, making sure, asking myself hey, were you a good dude today? You know, did you fucking slide-eye somebody, why, or whatever? Check your boxes, and that's been nice to do. And they've been joining me at night, you know, probably later some nights, but you know, then they'll ask me a question and they'll say, hey, dad, what about this? And some nights, but you know, then they'll ask me a question and they'll say, hey, dad, what about this? And the oldest now going into being a senior and looking at college life, you know, knowing that he's getting that $4.99 stuff, they're going to be a gator, probably. And chapter 36, right, is it chapter?
Speaker 1:36 and 35. What's that one? Yeah, $1,500 a month or whatever because I'm a retard dude.
Speaker 2:All right, sorry, no offense to anybody. Leave me, don't try me for that Don't worry, I'm a assessor on paper.
Speaker 1:It's okay, the vast majority of the audience is retarded.
Speaker 2:That's the way. That's how I have people.
Speaker 1:They're just like us. He asked me about finances.
Speaker 2:The other day I thought this is a better time than when I'm redoing a lot of my finances, you know. You know a power bill or a sugar bill or something. I'm opening my books up, not my debt, but my books as far as the house In general, growing up in this as he's becoming a senior this year, so he needs to know these kinds of things. You know what I mean. And he actually just recently made a purchase. He ordered a car on mine from japan. Oh shit, yeah, an altiza. So basically that, yeah, that lexus is 300s business that we know here in the states. He ordered the japanese.
Speaker 2:He won all right side drive and whatever but it's only got 50 000 miles and he paid like 7800 bucks, right, so he did the right thing, man. He's like all right, side drive and whatever. But it's only got 50 000 miles and he paid like 7800 bucks, right, so he did the right thing, man. He's like all right, dad, what do I gotta do? I'm like xyz laid out a couple options and what kind of road and co was for everything. He always said that I got two, co was for this and I'm like, oh, good job, kiddo. He's like what's a car? I'm like shut up, you know, yeah, these kids know everything. Oh, man and uh, but yeah, so he's doing that. He learned how to take out a personal loan versus a car loan, you know, and how he could. He's working at the restaurant here in the bar. Oh, banging his tie restaurant around.
Speaker 1:Anyway, not a plug, shameless plug, actually not a restaurant, it's pretty damn good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a joke. And so he's this, pretty pretty, about six foot, you know, white boy, with long hair, and he, uh, he makes his tips dude, he does pretty good, though he tells backslash and his checks to me. I'm like, bro you make I do Shut up, I'm going to start out the cooking again just to pay rent Only for him. So anyway, we go through these applications of like you know, hey, buddy, you're coming up, when do you have as paid off? And he's like I want to do it before my senior year. So I don't have a car payment. So that's his plan right now is to kind of buckle down for the summer, you know, and for him to ask the questions and then say, you know, what should I do? And then ask for my opinion. I'm ever grateful for that kind of stuff, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Because, I don't trust some decisions that I've made in the past, you know, or life, or something I don't know. Or maybe he's gone too high.
Speaker 1:You have something that a lot of fathers a dream of right like, especially like if you don't have the time, if you didn't have the time, if you had a kid while you were still active duty, and that relationship is strained. You have something that is. I mean, you got to cherish it. I know you do, but having a kid that's that old, already on the cusp of like being on his own, being a man having to take care of himself by himself, but he's engaging with you, he's talking with you, asking for your input, like planning, helping you know, like I want you involved in this, that's fucking awesome because what we don't see, like.
Speaker 1:We never see that in the culture. We never see that like on TV or in movies. It's always a pissed off teenager, the dad that's trying to, you know, be relatable.
Speaker 2:And everything's about this, this broken family, and like special operations. Yeah, Don't get me wrong, dude. I applaud the recent upgrade of um suicide awareness.
Speaker 2:I'm glad it's not just this 22 yank thing that was going on for a while. I'm glad it's bolstered into something what it is now, and I like to believe in that kind of stuff Cause I've seen I've seen some of the benefits from that throughout the community. But you know, you got you got a lot of this persona of the area and the dads that are. They did it to stay away from the family and this and that and here's a full circle tie back in as to it's what the people don't see, but they see the sexy job or the asshole guy who deploys 15 times and all he cared about was this and this. Now he's got tattoos and he's an asshole so and he's divorced again. Now he doesn't get to see his kids, whatever. But that is a very, very common persona or perception from the outside, right From this area. So to be able to have that and I hear it echoed from some of my buddies too is having that bond, if you will, and that spiritual togetherness, even as it's growing, between the three of us. It's been pretty awesome and I feel very fortunate that we're not shedding into that stigmata, because a lot of these guys it's like why don't you just ask him dude. Is he a good dude? Because I'm sure he's just short of jumping off the fucking bridge. You know what I mean? He gets to see his kids 20% of the time and it's not even his fault.
Speaker 2:I got taken to the cleaners my first divorce because one thing I had gone against me was I was still active duty in the fourth and they were still on alert status, so I was still viable for this four to seven hour launch, right or whatever it is. And they always knew that. So if I had 50%, if I had anything more of time with the kids, and oh, he could be gone and this and that You're right. So then I had to barter and get the house and.
Speaker 2:I just like every other dude, so you know. But I did get 50% of the time and that's why the rest of it is just whatever it is because it's gonna work out.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, man. Like you have something that so many guys don't have the opportunity, and that's being a present father. Being a dad, it's able to be there with the boys, be able to raise them, be able to like, have those moments of guidance, like so many of our dads in the in this community completely get removed from the equation because of the job, because a judge looks at them and says here's service to our nation. While it's honorable, and while I commend you and they say this, while I commend you for your service your children are more better suited with a parent that's more stable. But they're on meth. But don't worry about that. Don't worry about that. She's getting home, so your wife's gonna. They're on meth, yeah, but that's it don't worry about that, don't worry about that.
Speaker 1:Don't worry about she's getting home and it's, it's so shitty that the default is the wife, the spouse, it's it, it's never. Hey, it's better for this child to have a father in their, in their life. We have to make it something that they have just as much access to their father as they have access to their mother and that has to be the priority being able to give the child both parents and I've seen friends miss out on their children because they get a divorce and the wife's like well, I got a better opportunity in North Carolina, so we're moving. It's like fuck, dude. It destroys people, it breaks hearts, it breaks wills.
Speaker 2:I've said it a whole bunch of times in our community I had a buddy who his wife, from what I gather, so don't crucify me anyway who hears this is that his old lady yanked his kids and kind of conom and the saying I'm just going, I'm leaving, going back home to another state, somewhere around like Missouri somewhere, and then I'll be back. And then obviously he's like all right, cool, not thinking like she ain't coming back for four fucking years. So he had to sit and ride his deployments back to back, cause that was it was a time of fighting dude, he could still hunt and all that kind of stuff and he just couldn't go see his kids because of our deployments Couldn't do this. Or if he did, he's on yeah, I'm sure he's got a million frontier miles right now from hopping up there. Every weekend dog would jump up there because he's a good dad, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:And then when a divorce and all that crap happened, bro, however it came out, it just didn't work out well. He even got one of those humanitarian type assignments and they took him out of our community and moved him over closer to his area in a different job set. He was supposed to just ride the time out, retire, be there with his family, even by the x, because by then it's whatever. He's got a brand new lady and she is amazing for him and he's thriving. Even by the X, by then it's whatever. He's got a brand new lady and she is amazing for him and he's thriving.
Speaker 2:And then the Air Force is like, hey, hold up, dude, they give him an assignment back to gunships, dude, after he's like four years of a mental recovery being up there with this new lady building a new family, hey, we want you back in gunships for numbers, numbers. He's like I'm not gonna fly, I'm crazy. And they're like well, right now you're not, so go back to school or you can get out. And he's like well, I'm like three years short yeah so, and he did.
Speaker 2:He was. This guy I'm talking about was one of the number one, the outstanding airman of the years. That's what my way've always.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So the air force, the only gunner ever. So I'm not going to give his name out, but that pretty much did it.
Speaker 1:You can research it, you can Google it.
Speaker 2:You know we love you, brother the name is Maclin.
Speaker 1:Great, yes, yeah, my name my name actually is Richard Swells. Yeah, that shit, it happens so often. So many guys. My favorite is a guy who's finally close to retirement, with kids in high school, kids that are about to. You know, in those awkward teenage years where your friends, your peer groups mean everything to you sophomore, junior, senior years in high school, where your children deserve to have some sort of stability and then big armies like you're just about to retire You're one, you're two years away. How about this?
Speaker 1:How about this. We uproot your family for one last PCS all the way back.
Speaker 2:It's a preference, though, if you stay in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's like are you fucking kidding me?
Speaker 2:My wife's going to divorce.
Speaker 1:She just got a brand. She just got a job. She's been waiting her entire life to get my kids.
Speaker 2:I just built a house for her.
Speaker 1:And they're like well you can always do a geo bachelor ends up going to brag, living in a one-bedroom apartment with five other dudes eating top ramen just fucking away from this family, yeah fun times.
Speaker 2:Yeah, kirk, cobain as well, man guys like jason, you know what I mean, god damn.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I got some buddies going through some some divorces right now, you know, and in our community, and even even a friend of mine who's outside of our community going through one that's just taking forever and that, and alone, I think, plays mental detrimental health in some of these guys because they're also trying to rebuild, but this is still hanging over their head, not even if the relationship's toxic. I'm just saying in general. With his son-to-be ex-wife that had to do with a firearm and, without getting into it, basically was like trying to end his life. In a sense, that's me dancing around it. So the thing of it is is he's still being taken to the cleaners because there's been no conviction yeah because of processes.
Speaker 2:so now this dude who's already dealing with mental struggle bro, like we have some bangers, like in the garage type thing with your bro, oh don't, we have some bangers and I love this dude to death and it sucks and I feel for him immensely because he still has his hanging on and getting drug out and he has to forfeit this money or X, y, z and monitor that. We're all kicked. How do you work on mental recovery with that kind of shit going on? Yeah, so let's bring that back into the to to the, to the things that people don't see. They see the shiny medals and the fucking parades and the flyovers and whatever yeah I mean all of it.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. It's so. It's so fucked the way these things fall apart. And then there's no, there's's hardly, and I get it. Historically there's been lots of times where the spouse was, you know, suffering through some horrendous sort of situations. But it's almost like we then stop taking into account what the service member's going through. We stop focusing Rather than trying to help both people and ensure both parties are mutually supported. We just over and hyper-focus on the one that doesn't serve. So you know what? You'll be fine, we can get you a DFAC card. We can get you a dining facility card. We can get you into barracks card. We can get you a dining facility card. We can get you into barracks.
Speaker 1:Fuck what you got going on, we're gonna focus all our efforts on this side of the family. It's like, dude, you can't do that. You cannot do that. I've seen it so many times where it's a, the vindictive stuff I've seen play out so brutally. It's like I'm gonna fucking destroy your career, I'm gonna destroy you and everything about you. And it's like I'm gonna fucking destroy your career, I'm gonna destroy you and everything about you, and it's like and it's in and it's on text messages, it's on social media.
Speaker 1:It's like, hey, is anybody reading this shit? Is anybody gonna look at this and say, hey, maybe, maybe your boy needs somebody in his corner helping him out? And it's like we don't have, we don't have family, we don't have advocacy that looks at both sides and tries to get to the bottom of it. It's just hey, it's easier, let's press the easy button only, take care of the non-service member and make sure that person gets everything they need. And that then and we wonder why guys give up and they go do something really drastic. That's right and the data shows it. It's there, it's it's sadly. I've seen it happen. I've seen guys lose her shit and, um, yeah, turned situation that could have easily been fixed if people were willing to look at both sides of the story.
Speaker 2:I think so too man.
Speaker 2:I think so too. I think that, um, and maybe I'm a little biased and I'll take it and I'll take whatever trips I get for this, but I think that it is weighed heavily on the non lovers reward 20 years and 15 days, right, and my ex-wife gets half my pension because I was married to her for 20 years. Do I have a problem with it? I think it sucks. Obviously I have to give up half my money. I don't think it's right. So I don't think there's a sense of earning there. I don't think there was like a competition of how she earned it versus how I earned it. I think it's a direct correlation to the time that I forgave for my service, right, yeah, so I have a problem with that, the sense that I have to give it up for that reason, just because she was married to me.
Speaker 2:I also have a problem with paying alimony, you know, and paying that. So there you go. For anyone who sees this, any of my customers out there, the guys, those dudes if you could ask Mr Trump, can we get something out there that makes it like either they get half of your pension or alimony, but not both. Because I tell you what, right now, right now I am. I'm like right here, you're like right, I'm trying to fucking breathe yeah.
Speaker 2:And I even got a contracting gig and I'm still like, fuck, I'm in another movie.
Speaker 1:So and it.
Speaker 2:I mean so, yeah, and it's not. That's not a what with me, by any means no it's a reality of how unfair the situation is.
Speaker 1:It's dude. I wish I could.
Speaker 2:But hey, santus did change it. To where cause I man, I got struck with alimony for life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how, how, because it was a long term marriage.
Speaker 2:And that's three stipulations though she gets remarried, financially supported or dies.
Speaker 1:Hey, let's open up a Tinder profile for her. Let's get this woman on a date.
Speaker 2:We need some sugar daddies out there. Come on, boys, the kids are growing, you know you got to worry about them.
Speaker 1:This is a brand new one for security. We are offering a I mean a primo dating experience.
Speaker 2:We will pay for the first 10 dates we will pay for them, we will so DeSantis said he passed the thing where now it could be like re-looked at to where it's a percentage of which is pretty rad. So now it's be like relooked at to where it's a percentage of which is pretty rad. So now that's not like faux laugh, but, um, you know, I don't really have the dollars to retain a attorney and be like hey, can you adjust my shit real quick? I'm still in poverty, bro. You know, I make like. I make like 23 to a year, just just constantly bringing people by the house.
Speaker 1:Hey, how's it going? This is my friend. Tell them all about you. You guys hit it off.
Speaker 2:So yeah, so please, if you guys can ask Mr Tromper, hey dude.
Speaker 1:Sir, sir, what dude Am I?
Speaker 2:looking at this for me Hex Seth, dude, hex Seth, he's a monster. I love that dude man. He should lobby for that dude. I bet he could make something happen bro.
Speaker 1:That dude's got some tread.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah, I like the way that dude operates, man.
Speaker 1:He. I like the way that dude operates. Man, he is rad Daddy, hag Seth and Vivek dude. Right, yeah, dude, just that alone being able to remove that from your list of worries, like your mental health, would be through the roof.
Speaker 2:You would be on cloud nine and I'll be honest with you, right now I wouldn't know the first place to go. If I needed to walk back into a grippy sock motel, I'd be on Google like where's help.
Speaker 1:Let's say you got me, we got plenty of options. Locally, we have Emerald Coast Inpatient and, of course, my favorite, the one that I always refer people ridge mission, resilience you pump them, you pump them a lot.
Speaker 2:Yes, sir they are always, always.
Speaker 1:Uh, they're um, you know, I shouldn't give these people fucking free advertising, but they're cheap they're cheap plug, bro.
Speaker 1:They are cheap when they come. Dude, I will throw this out there because, fuck them, now you should go there. If you need help, you should go there. But I will throw them under the bus for this. They were looking for somebody to come do a speaking engagement and they thought I would do it for free. And uh, because somebody else rejected the offer, they're like you know, like you're not gonna pay for flights, you're not gonna pay for at least pay for flight if you want us, if you want somebody to do a speaking event for you at least cover their travel, at the very least.
Speaker 1:So yeah, even if you don't pay them, yeah, don't. You don't have to pay me, at least pay for their travel yeah, at least do that. But here's what happened. They reached out to somebody else first and they that person had a fee. They absolutely had a booking fee. Air travel and lodging I don't have that, I only have. Hey, if you're a non-profit travel and I'll negotiate like that's a bare minimum right you're gonna pay.
Speaker 1:Here's my rate. If you're not gonna pay, you are at least gonna pay for travel, because I'm having to pause everything and uh, they, he. I'm not gonna say his name, the guy's name, but he's like oh you know, you're a green beret, I'm a green beret, like you want to come to our speaking event.
Speaker 1:I'm like, oh sorry, absolutely, man, and I let him know, you know, I will do you solid, just pay for my travel. Um, I'll do, I'll go in, I'll speak, come right out, I won't have to, I won't. We'll need a hotel room, so we won't worry about that. He's gay, uh, I'll talk about it. And I'm like day's coming closer, coming closer, and I'm like, finally, I reach back out.
Speaker 1:Rodney, we'll throw that motherfucker on the bus and I call them and they're like oh man, yeah, um, we were kind of hoping that, uh, you kind of do it for free. And I'm like you know, for seven seasons, seven seasons I have advocated for you.
Speaker 1:I have promoted you. I have gotten some of my closest friends, some of the best people that I know, that reached out for help and I have sent them to him because I believe in your program. I don't believe in you per se, Rodney or the other guy, because it's such a shitty thing to do. You get seven seasons of free promotion, website placement, episode description placement, blog posts written about you and you reach out to me to do a public speaking event and you don't even offer to fucking do a flight. That poor form is what I think, dude. Yeah, I mean, do a public speaking event and you don't even offer to fucking do a flight.
Speaker 2:That's poor farm is what I think, dude, yeah I mean and what it is it's like.
Speaker 1:It's one of those things where you have to remember like I respect and I honor the mission and I will promote because I think the program is world class, the doctors there are remarkable but if you don't promote yourself because I didn't know anything about lower ridge until I was in crisis, if I would have known the lower ridge was an option that I could have just asked for, holy fucking shit, dude, yeah, immediately, immediately. If I would have known that's where the green, green berets go or navy seals go or rangers go, I would have said fuck, fuck, yeah, I'm not alone. There's people like me already going to places like this. Let's go.
Speaker 1:There's no media, there's nobody out there. They don't do anything, they don't do their own podcast, and maybe it's by design, maybe it's by purpose, but when somebody's willing to do something for you for free for several years, the least you could do is not blow smoke up their ass. And that's why what really irritated me they blew smoke up my ass. They didn't say straight up like, hey, we can't cover travel. Maybe I would have done it, maybe I would have done it. But I'm over this thing where it's like I can be a good person and still call you out and say you're fucking, you're fucked up for that, and I can still believe in your program. And I and still call you out and say you're fucking, you're fucked up for that, and I can still believe in your program. And I can still say you should go there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, of course that's 100% being an adult, absolutely our business owner or whatever. Yeah, so yeah, I'll never, never do anything for you, but I will continue to advocate on your behalf. So, if you're in, crisis and you want to go to a good place. What a mission. Resilience, yeah.
Speaker 2:I believe in asking for help, which I never did, and I'll tell you why here let me. Let me tie another thing back to this dude that I live to his name, that people can research it they would like, uh, but he is actually also the dude who got me to go seek help for my first time. He is a fellow gunner, as I said before, and he had talked to me a couple times, I think after a trip or two, and kind of got to know the dude a little bit. I was kind of intimidated by him a little bit, cause he was a legacy kind of dude or he was in the program before I was, and he was already whatever level and I think I just I think I was just older because I cross trained, you know like nine and a half, 10 years so, and then made East citizen never, ever anything else again, that's okay, hey but I stayed operational though.
Speaker 2:See, I didn't have to do any of that bullshit. I say that, hey, I say that to all the people in the background going like, but you missed out on so much money. No shit, that was shit, Okay. Also. I had a degree before my tenure Mark, where I should have been the ots. Guess what I did. Guess what? Who cares, I'm happy with that yeah, yeah, there's.
Speaker 1:There's something to be said about finding your place, enjoying it, and if you're passionate, you're in love with it. Fuck man, like there's a reason why in the army we had um, like e4 used to be a technical technical, like e6 or not, not e6, yeah, specialist four, five, six, like it was a technical rank. We got rid of that and guys just dude, some dudes don't want to promote, some dudes don't want to move up and do administration shit. Yeah, um, yeah dude.
Speaker 2:I. I felt that way towards the end of my first career, which I I don't regret at all. I got, I learned so much who the air logistics job? Yeah, I loaded airplanes and I and I fortunately got attached. I got attached to you guys, you know, like every other shit Fucking they believe. Let me say it, not our fucking, that's right. No, let me say it not, our fucking says right, no, fucking. Anyway, and I was fortunate enough to like go out there and learn a lot, because I would go be your hazmat dude, your air guy who would fucking rope up your humvees and shit so they could get out of 130 because all they needed was paperwork that looked like it was supposed to be legit. So they would find a guy like me, right, some degenerate guy who's out there driving a forklift with no cab on it and something over, you know, in kandahar in 05 type thing, and and I started learning what you guys actually did and that got me super interested. So then, uh, yeah, that's when I decided I'm gonna cross train it. Yeah, and you know, I don't regret a single thing about that job. I just thought it was time to go because I felt like it was gone Instead of career progression, as everything kept being told to me, right, it was like career dictation and I was like dude, I already have to do a lot of shit I don't want to do, you know, and there are things I can still kind of control, you know, and there are things I can still kind of control.
Speaker 2:So, fortunately also, whatever reason, I was in a path where there was a guy in leadership who was pretty prominent in the Air Force, a chief and a friend of mine and I were good friends with this guy on a professional level, you know mentoring type shit. We'd go to his office for mentoring sessions and stuff like that. The dude was legit man as far as it goes. He could teach you how to really find yourself as far as motivation, loving your career and not just blowing that big blue up your ass, type stuff. He was in a position where he could help me cross train. I took that opportunity to hit my interior mark Change it up Right now, that shit, because that career dictation would have had me soured as shit, not liking it. Maybe I would have got out. Instead, I got to get in an airplane, fly around with conduits and fucking hurrah and shindan Fuck yeah, every other KBL fucking takeover. I miss those shitty areas of Afghanistan and the shitty markets.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude, you know, I'd like to think that someday it'll be completely different. Maybe there'll be an uprising and they'll get Taliban out of control. But who knows, man? It was an adventure, though. Got to have an adventure, adventure of a lifetime, I mean you know that WWE endurance freedom, bit man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I say that my yeah, kids give me so much shit. They're like hey old man, how is ww enduring freedom? And blah, blah, blah what's that g? What all about you know, uh. But it's pretty funny, though.
Speaker 2:Like a lot recently the kids have kind of been interested in some of my medals and shit stuff oh, nice that I packed away, right, so the air mat, all the citation, yeah, so you know, when you're down there and you have to write medals for things, you know we had air medals, right, that's right combination or whatever the fucking air medal is. Yeah, it's for however many missions in combat you get to reduce it and file out this thing. You write this exclamation, whatever these 20 missions in jury gray. So I learned after I I think I did my first four of them. I was like, dude, these are, I was still on that circuit, this is so dope. You know, right what I did. And some dude that I didn't know signs off on Now. Granted, I filled those numbers up pretty quick, like we were hacking a mish dude back then. Right, so I could easily knock out 20 missions in the first fucking quarter of my deployment, you know. And so I learned later on from some fucking stubborn guy, some Grey Bulls guy. So hopefully he watches this and he knows what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2:Grey Bullish, that's what I call him. He told me he's like dog, write those for your kids. Man, and I was like, what are you talking about? He's like write those air medals so your kids will understand. And it didn't, kids, man, and I was like, what are you talking about? He's like write those air medals so your kids will understand. And it didn't really make sense. And I was like, what the fuck does he mean, dude? I asked him again. He told me again hey, dumbass, fucking, write it for your fucking kids, like you would honor either. Dad did it Like, made me feel like an asshole, right yeah. And I, dude, I got you. So that's what I started doing and I think I wrote, I think I got two of them out that I thought I narrated kind of cool, you know. And and then someone else showed me what they were doing the same kind of thing. I was like, oh, this is like a club. I didn't know this thing, I don't know. This is what we fucking did, bro you know.
Speaker 2:So this guy's like dude, this is what you got to do. You're gonna suck into skies your mission. Why exactly? So you got something that's fucking crazy. You can talk about it maybe throughout the years, but then one day they fucking put the dots together, right? So this is what this guy tells me. So I started putting this into my fucking, my novelty of scripture, of whatever you want to call it, in my air metals, right, and uh, you know, we had a mission and it was pretty prominent, and uh, and we had a mission two nights prior that was almost the problem, just not as exploitative, exploited, exploitated, and um, I recently got to kind of connect the dots for those two missions for the boys and this is probably a good six, seven years since they really realized what those missions were, which?
Speaker 2:happened back in 15. Yeah, you know. So then you know, and I still have brass, some of the missions, oh yeah damn so um you, yeah.
Speaker 2:So you know we didn't really get to take a whole lot at the end. They kind of screwed us up taking brass or giving brass away Down the range. You kind of sent them home on the tail swaps. So I always made sure if I had something crazy or something stupid that I could joke with the boys one day, put a little note in that brass, tape it up, put a mark on it and stored it up. So I did that over time. And then all the air metalists leads them up and painting the toilets. I was like why am I doing this? And so dumb, I fucking hate me, you know whatever right. And so you know, I'm out here, out here, and my youngest and he's talking to me about the condo, shoot and shut the hospital right. And uh, and he's like, hey, dad, what do you have a medal for that one? And I was like, well, they really didn't want to give us anything for that one. They were super pissed. Yeah, oh man, they grounded us and all that you know yeah, that's.
Speaker 1:Uh, that was gonna get you to come back so we can dive deep into that one. Because that's, that's a. That's a sore spot for a lot of guys in the community. Because it was a. Yeah, um, it's. It's one of those things where the truth got concealed and hidden to years later and everybody on the ground knew what the fuck was going on. But Obama in that administration fucked our dudes, dicked us down.
Speaker 2:On TV bro.
Speaker 1:On TV and then, like they always do, the truth finally comes out, but it's pushed out underneath and it never makes the airways as much and it's redacted as shit yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, I don't know the exact numbers. I could do some homework if you'd like, but it got redacted down from I don't know 3,000 pages to 800 pages or something like that, and I was like what you know and I had gone through a ton of 1511s or whatever. When we get our hands slapped for doing something stupid downrange.
Speaker 2:And they're like hey, hammer, you guys need to fucking drop. Dude, you got a phone call when you get home, you know, and we could talk about those some other time. That'd be fun. Yeah, just kind of get your take on. When you were there and I was there. Fuck, yeah, but especially with the conduit shoot. You know if you'd like to explore some things, so I'd love to hear some of the aspects of anything you might know.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know from those guys.
Speaker 1:Because I know that ground force commander, you got a pile drive dude. Yeah, man, it's like our pilot got pretty guilty. Yeah, but it's fucked man, we, we, we have this idea that our guys are gonna have our back like our. Our commanders are gonna have our back. They're gonna always protect us, they're gonna do everything in our best interest, but then when you see it play out completely opposite, you realize like fuck, we're just a fucking tool, we're just a pawn in this fucking game, and whichever way it makes you look better, that's the way it's going to play out. We've seen it play out countless times now. We saw it play out with eddie gallagher.
Speaker 1:We've seen it play out within our own community and special forces, the one that the most egregious one, the one that really really bit a lot of guys in the ass, is a Niger ambush. That's one that was just kind of like it took over a year to get the truth out and then they were still trying to pin it onto the team out, and then they were still trying to pin it onto the team and then you again it's an. It's another one where you realize, like fuck, dude, like these guys will look after their career before they take care of the boys. Um, but we gotta dive. We gotta dive into that another time. Um, before I let you go, brother, tell us about hammer 41 leatherworks, so hammer 41 leatherworks.
Speaker 2:It's been. It's been a pretty wild ride. You know, started as a as a bet, so bet me I couldn't make some, some patches and fast forward. You know I'm putting patches on hats that are on cnn shit, you know what I mean? Yep, so that's been, that's been pretty, pretty cool. It's been a um, really therapeutic, obviously, you know, and the whole artesian aspect of it all, yeah, it's just super dope customers. Man, jeff from Subsecond dude, that dude's been around since the beginning. Beginning he actually is that he's his first sponsor for TCC cheering Nice, first sponsor for TCC shooting Nice, tcc stuff that created this belt. That dude, it was so dope, check that shit out. Shameless blood, sub second belt, top notch, um. And then you know, through him I've met a few other rad, rad people you know, guerrilla warfare and, uh, geez, our dude.
Speaker 2:Like those dudes right there, I mean what a blessing to be a part of that community. Man, those guys are rad, our protection man, yeah, if you don't know about them, hammer 41, I try to repost for them. Uh, otherwise, go look them up. They do just cool stuff. So the guys that mean business, you know what? I mean that we want. Yeah, so that's pretty rad but anyway, hammer 41, we're out there trying to push stuff um what can we go to get some of your good stuff week?
Speaker 1:oh, okay, so you're still in the moving in period yep, yep, I'm actually.
Speaker 2:Uh, I moved my shop location, so, um, getting reset up right now I'm online. Uh, back online as far as my machines go. I just need to tune everything up and then I should be. I'm finishing an order right now that I actually had split during this move and then I Got a couple people waiting and I'd love to get back in and learn some more. Man, I I actually had a little warfare had me down a couple my hats on. I'm not podcast down south you know yeah.
Speaker 2:Trust those dudes, man. I watched that, that that one kicks ass too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, when you get to get you to do some hats for us, we can put them out there, man yeah, all day.
Speaker 2:Man just give me some numbers, man I'll send them over to you, hell yeah dude, we'll do some demos.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying, yeah, just giant, giant cock with wings, just oh, that's what I found on my suit. Yeah, All right.
Speaker 2:So you're going to have to create the image for me, unless you've got another. Another guy out there. Send me an SVG, okay, and I have 41 leather words and gmailcom. You can hit us up at Instagram and gmailcom. But you can hit us up at Instagram. That's where most of my debauchery has been and you can see the progression of my artwork and stuff.
Speaker 2:I'm not a graphic designer by any means, so I get a lot of my artwork directly from the customer or I have a graphic designer that I trust and create some banger work. So I've done a lot of work for seven group over here man Probably five or six of their teams dude and I love doing it, man, cause that's just rad dudes and I've never had a single problem with any of them. Cats, man, they pay fucking instantly. So all this, anything that people have heard about any of that kind of shit I'm sorry that happened to you, but them dudes treat me right yeah, they treat their shit on time and I do, I do a banger product for them dudes.
Speaker 2:So yeah, now you should say it's amazing, man.
Speaker 1:Like I said, I've been seeing it everywhere um the art guys fucking repping that shit all over and seeing them because they're doing their, they're protecting some of our, our greatest leaders right now, and it's it's a dude, it's prime, prime advertising real estate.
Speaker 2:And you know, when he even does dude, he'll do his uh roll call of like his tack here and his loadouts and stuff, and there it is, dude, puts my lid right on that man, I'm like, but he like, he gets it. He, he wanted like a certain hat and a certain style and you know we went back and forth on what leather he liked and this and that, and we just came up with the product that he loved and and, uh, I just love creating because I cut out whenever he puts an order in that I cut out some time. I just I really get into it because I enjoy. I enjoy that kind of work for that kind of customer.
Speaker 2:Same thing with jeff sub second man, that dude he likes doing one-off sets, which has been really crazy too, because I got words from, like some of the other customers which I know from the community and such yeah, um, or, or, I'll be at a bar and I'll see one of my hats around there and they're becoming collectible one that when jeff does his one-off paint job ones, these dudes are collecting them and shit. So they're trying to get the drop on me Like yo, what's the next one coming out? And I'm like, bro, I don't know. So sometimes, sometimes he's like dude. I want to look at him like this, and then he'll put it out with like one of his rad ass belts, or or he'll be like dude, or he'll be like dude, at least draw a fan.
Speaker 2:And then he lets me and I used to, just I just get tuned up. Yeah, dude, do some goodness.
Speaker 1:I need a good season seven. I finally like my logo. It's funny, man. I was outsourcing that shit to everybody. I was like, please, I need you to make this, I need you to make that. And dude, great art, great work, costs a lot of fucking money, a lot of fucking money. And you have to respect that. You have to.
Speaker 2:You have to respect that Same thing with digitizing files, man, if you're trying to get so, I do embroidery now too. Yeah, and I'll tell you what. Man, if you have a bullshit embroidery design, it doesn't matter how badass your machine is. I got like a Bentley of fucking machines. Yeah, I, I got like a Bentley of fucking machines. Yeah, I'll get some shitty ass artwork, but it looks good on paper.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But then the discounts are, however, because you know, when you do those kind of embroidery ones it's a different type of file, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's got like commands and shit in there, yep. So hey, footnote, if you're out there trying to get embroidery done for other people, spend broderie done for other people, spend the money and get that shit digitized correctly. Make it easier, because I'll tell you what that's less like. Less, um, what do I want to say? Like, uh, damaged goods, like screw ups, right, less screw ups. I have, and I usually end up if I only have like one test, one that I have to do from a design, and I have set aside three, I'll give them the other two, you know, for free, I throw in the box or I do something crazy for them, you know, or?
Speaker 2:throw my logo on there or something, and that's not. It's not uncommon, you know I do. I do hats for a company out in uh in gallenberg, called smoking out tactical and that dude's been around. He's been there with me from the beginning also. He puts in the order too.
Speaker 2:He puts in the order too. He puts in a nice order, like you know, when he needs to man and he sells other types and other brands, other leathers. You know he does it too and I'm still in there and like he's knocking right now, he's like bro, I'm ready, he's right on the set and it's from the 80s and shit like third level that's badass man, super rad, star dude.
Speaker 1:Hell yeah, man, dude. Mayor, I can't thank you enough for being here today, man. Uh, gotta run it back. I'm gone this weekend, um, for the special forces foundations gala, but I'll be back that following week. Got to get you back on the books. But, man, it's a pleasure having you brother. It's truly an honor to see you grow and seeing Hammer41, fucking kicking ass man.
Speaker 1:Because, again of the boys for the boys. If you haven't checked out Hammer41 Leatherworks, please pause the episode right now. Go check him out, put it in order, make Merrill work his dick off. He will, uh, and works his ass off and he makes good shit. So check him out. I appreciate that I'm gonna bug you one. Last time I was gracious and kind enough not to say shit about this at the beginning of the episode. Oh no, I'm asking you just take five fucking seconds. Go to the episode description, pause fucking. Give us a five-star review. Drop a couple words in there saying yeah, dude, denny's fucking nice, I like the episode, or just say fuck him.
Speaker 2:Whatever you want to do help the fucking algorithm.
Speaker 1:But uh, I really appreciate if you guys could do that. Subscribe all that jazz like share this episode head on into the comics, helps. Uh, the whole algorithm and just you know know, drop a fucking emoji.
Speaker 2:But a fucking eggplant fucking whatever you want, I don't give a fuck but help us grow, or a topic for us to talk about next time, we'll do that. There you go. Yeah Well, we'll talk about what you intend. But then we'll say, okay, sidebar, real quick, we're going to acknowledge something here. Why is something here?
Speaker 1:why is he in the jetta during your interview, because it's got great acoustics.
Speaker 2:Thank you, thanks again, dude, it's a pleasure. It's a pleasure and, uh, it's it's great to reconnect with you, brother, and see that you're doing so well. I love, I love watching the cast man. You do a lot for the community.
Speaker 1:Man. I'm trying to do one episode at a time, one poop and cum joke at a time. I'm here for you, guys. If you need help, please reach out. And again, if you are looking for an inpatient treatment center, check out Lower Ridge, mission Resilience. It's one of the best places. It saved my life. And don't be scared. Be willing to go into the unknown and get better. You deserve it. We need you around because our country needs our veterans. There's only so many of us around, guys. You have to think about it. The world's going to be better with you in it, not without you. If nobody's in your corner today, know that Meryl and I are in that corner. Just reach out.
Speaker 2:The mid-40s retiree bum corner. That's where I'm at. It's such a fuck-up dude. It's a good thing I'm a good dad. Fuck. That's what you got going for me. Hey, you're a great dad. I'm trying to learn from you guys.
Speaker 1:Hey, at least you don't have a fucking high tide. At least you don't have a high tide, that's right. Hey man, I didn't have hair.
Speaker 2:At least you don't have a high toe. Hey, man, I didn't have hair. Hey, you didn't see me with hair. I never had hair from when I was 18 to 41, man, so I retired. I'm having a fucking mohawk.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can't shave that. You'll look way too Aryan. I'm Danny Caballero, and it's been a pleasure.
Speaker 2:I'm 45, though it's okay.
Speaker 1:See you next time. Until then, take care, adios. Thanks for tuning in and don't forget to like, follow, share, subscribe and review us on your favorite podcast platform. If you want to support us, head on over to buymeacoffeecom forward slash SecHawk podcast and buy us a coffee. Connect with us on Instagram, x or TikTok and share your thoughts or questions about today's episode. You can also visit securityhallcom for exclusive content, resources and updates. And remember we get through this together. If you're still listening the episode's over. Yeah, there's no more Tune in tomorrow or next week.
