Security Halt!
Welcome to Security Halt! Podcast, the show dedicated to Veterans, Active Duty Service Members, and First Responders. Hosted by retired Green Beret Deny Caballero, this podcast dives deep into the stories of resilience, triumph, and the unique challenges faced by those who serve.
Through powerful interviews and candid discussions, Security Halt! Podcast highlights vital resources, celebrates success stories, and offers actionable tools to navigate mental health, career transitions, and personal growth.
Join us as we stand shoulder-to-shoulder, proving that even after the mission changes, the call to serve and thrive never ends.
Security Halt!
From Navy SEAL to French Foreign Legion: Taylor Cavanaugh on Self-Sabotage, Discipline, and Transformation
What happens when a Navy SEAL hits rock bottom and finds clarity in the chaos?
In this gripping episode of the Security Halt! Podcast, Deny Caballero sits down with Taylor Cavanaugh, a former Navy SEAL turned French Foreign Legionnaire, to explore his powerful journey through self-sabotage, addiction, identity loss, and ultimate redemption. Taylor shares what it’s like to fall apart—and how he rebuilt himself with discipline, decisive action, and purpose.
From homelessness to boot camp in the French Foreign Legion, Taylor opens up about how hitting rock bottom forced him to confront himself, rediscover his integrity, and become the man he was meant to be. Whether you're struggling with transition, battling inner demons, or simply looking for motivation—this episode is for you.
👉 Don’t miss this raw, real conversation about accountability, self-discipline, and the path to purpose.
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Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Overcoming Self-Sabotage
03:02 The Journey of a Young Soul
06:02 The Weight of Identity and Integrity
08:55 Consequences of Choices: A Bar Fight and Beyond
11:59 From Military to Civilian: A Difficult Transition
14:51 Hitting Rock Bottom: Homelessness and Clarity
17:50 A Call to Action: Joining the Foreign Legion
21:03 The Path Unveiled: Taking Action on a New Journey
22:19 The Power of Decisive Action
23:44 Journey to the French Foreign Legion
25:10 The Unique Experience of the Foreign Legion
27:20 The Humbling Process of Boot Camp
28:39 Earning the Title of Legionnaire
30:04 Challenges and Growth in the Legion
32:02 Internal Work and Self-Discipline
34:06 Finding Purpose Through Storytelling
36:31 The Importance of Discipline
39:14 Embracing Destiny and Accountability
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Website: https://www.taylorcavanaugh.com/
Produced by Security Halt Media
Security Odd Podcast. Let's go. The only podcast that's purpose-built from the ground up to support you Not just you, but the wider audience, everybody. Authentic, impactful and insightful conversations that serve a purpose to help you. And the quality has gone up. It's decent and it's hosted by me, danny Caballero. It's decent. It's hosted by me, denny Caballero, taylor Cavanaugh. Welcome to Secure Podcast. How's it going, brother?
Speaker 2:Denny going well, dude. Thanks everybody for tuning in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, it's a pleasure to have you here. I think your story not only resonates with our military folks, but with a lot of our civilian brothers and sisters that have been going through some trials and tribulations and think that they can't overcome it. They have to stay in the same mindset. They have to continue living this life of self-sabotage and brother. Your story is nothing short of amazing when it comes to being able to pluck yourself out of just the absolute worst and say fuck it, man. The only way through this is to go right, Damn through the fucking wall and get on the other side it.
Speaker 2:Man. The only way through this is to go right, damn, through the fucking wall and get on the other side. Yeah, yeah, yeah, man, it's. Uh, I appreciate you saying that. Man, I always say the real ones, get it, because self-sabotage is a good word is everybody understands that? Yeah, and it's a very weird human element that every when we say it, every, there's not one person that whenever he hears that, I go I don't know what he's talking about. Everybody, we have this like instructive capacity that we just need to break it down, and that's what we'll kind of dive into is kind of it's that understanding of self and extrapolating, like what is the root causes, when does it happen? What can we be aware of? And then, more importantly, if we are there, how do we pull ourselves out of it and keep it moving?
Speaker 1:yeah, man. So, dude, take us through the story, but let's begin all the way back, man. Like, how did, how did taylor find himself in this idea that he just had to be this fucking loud, violent individual?
Speaker 2:and it was cause trouble yeah, man, man, I probably started early. I mean, since I was a child I knew I wanted to be in the military, I wanted to be a SEAL and then just moving up through sports and stuff, I always had a little bit of an aggressive ability. Sports were aggression counted for a lot I was generally pretty good at, but my focus for military and things were I just people are old souls. I'm a very young soul. I think I had a lot of.
Speaker 2:I just I lack self-awareness on a very massive scale. I liked things in my immediate purview the girls, the, the party and the stuff and it all kind of picked up and it just it just became more important and I just I had no real vision. I knew I was like, yeah, I'll get in the military, but it all kind of seemed far away and and I just I didn't have a lot of strategy. I thought I did, I was pretty good at school and I like went to school and did my homework and stuff and showed up sometimes and I cared and I actually put forth effort, but there was no like structured plan or battle rhythm to it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's what gets a lot of us in trouble with those early ages. Like we just like hard focus on the flashy and the cool and our charisma gets us through. Our charisma and our ability to like that gift of gab gets us through life up until we meet that one obstacle that we can't push through. Yeah, and if we're lucky we get that, we get that correction through the military. But I would imagine that even when you made it onto the teams going through through training, like you still found ways that were like man, I can still kind of get over it. I can still kind of just get myself in the situations where I can just talk my way out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you're absolutely right, the charisma and the ability and the and also just the, the discipline on the work side was there. So I could kind of lie to myself, which I think a lot of guys do in their own lives too and that was I was disciplined, ish, which I think is worse, and I think I know a lot of guys fall into that. You're like, I go to the gym, I'm kind of there, but I'm kind of like, but they know that they could push it harder, but also it allows you to lie to yourself I'm good, I things are going okay and and I'm achieving some measures of success, so I don't really have to change anything. It's not uncomfortable enough yet, but if you're not really progressing in the right way, you're going to backslide at some point. And that's what happened to me and the teams is I got in and what had got me there?
Speaker 2:I was still doing, but then you really you have to keep leveling up, you have to keep pushing the pace and I was like, well, I'm there first and I'm there late and I work out so I can kind of do what I want on the weekends and that type of stuff, and but it it's all one piece, right. You, the who, it's the engine that drives all the stuff. You can't be one guy here and another guy here and expect it all just to work out. And that was the issue, and it lacked integrity. I saw a definition of integrity that was you're not being divided against oneself, and I thought that that was a very, really apt way to think about it is you where you're integral one piece, integrity. And so I was like this, like I had this juxtaposition of self that really locked on in some capacities and then not in the others, and at some point you can't bend reality that long and it you know you, you start playing with fire, man, you're going to get burned.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's something that a lot of people don't understand, that that's a serious like losing your brotherhood once you become a seal, once you become a ranger, a green beret. When they take that tab away or they take that trident away, that is a huge thing. That's not something lightly and what was that like for you going through that?
Speaker 2:oh dude I mean it, a lot of guys that have been through it. Man, it's a very rare thing to even retire or getting rid of it. But like, definitely, I don't even say it got taken, I gave it away that's like the worst part, right. It felt terrible. It was like I don't worship on my worst enemy. When I knew the axe had fallen and it was coming down, I almost couldn't get out of the fetal position, dead, serious man Like it was like that. You know some some days where I was like literally in the fetal position, like hold on for dear life. It was brutal man and you know you shake it off at some point. But the beginning, when it was like kind of coming to a head, it was all I could do to just hold on man, because it was everything. It wasn't even like a, because it's not a job, and that's where people talk about identity and about what you do and stuff.
Speaker 2:But this is different. It just is and it becomes. First it takes all of you to get there. It's not just like, oh, I go to school and then I go to an interview. It takes blood, sweat and you really dig into it some different levels and then you're there and it's it's you're. You're like in an echo chamber. It's your entire world. You spend. It's not a normal nine to five. You're not bringing your lunch pail and then going home, that's a you're, you're gone. You spend more time with those guys than your family. And so it becomes it gets woven into your double helixes. And that was when that was like ripped. It was like ripping part of me away and that. But it was obviously needed and it was it's part. Everybody's got to hang it up at some point.
Speaker 2:And that's what my master chief said to me. He said something interesting, kind of when it was coming to a head. He said he goes, you know. I looked at you and I asked like hey, man, are you going to be okay? Like you know, you're going to do something, something to yourself. And he goes. But I looked at you and I knew you were going to be good and I told him he's like, well, what are you going to do? The? Uh, oh, I see the CEO said. I said, well, I guess I'm just going to do what I always done and put my shoulders back and take it on the chin and keep moving. And he almost teared up when he said it, he's like all right man, cause he knew it was, it wasn't. Just. It's not some normal day, man, when you're, when you get that taken away from you and a lot, and then it's the fear and uncertainty of like what the hell am I going to do next?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and what led up to that? Well, like we in the community, we see, like I've seen in a witness, like infractions that I would think like, oh shit, okay you're, you gotta lose some rank, you're gonna be fine. Like you'll be good the next thing. You know, your friend's like yeah, they took my tab, they took my tab for it. Bar fight. Uh, drinking, driving like it's, it's never something that becomes like okay, like you, you never. Like, you never know. You never fucking know how bad things are going to get and what command is going to do. And in your case, like, what happened? What led to that?
Speaker 2:So in my case the command was always really good with me. I had a really good rep and I was like the golden boy man for a while, like early promotes, you know, because I was invested, it was my dream and so I was taking on every responsibility. I was there early, I was really pushing the pace as a new guy and so that was shown. You know, I I was getting promoted, things were going really well and I got in in an altercation, in a bar fight, right, and that was after my first appointment and that they were still good with me. I lost rank. I was already a paid E6, you know in like four years and so I lost rank. So now I'm kind of back to the E5 mafia and then I'm building it all back up. Go to Iraq, I'm on it. I mean, it was a felony charge, I was facing prison time, a lot of stuff. So the command was very fair with me. They're like, hey, all right, they're kicking the can down the road, we're still going to bring you to Iraq and all this stuff. Very fair, very fair. And then that went on for about two years, this whole that whole shebang. And then two years later I got a concert and get into it Not a fight, but I'm like in a golf cart, it's not mine. I'm at a concert and get into a not not a fight, but I'm like in a golf cart, it's not mine. And I was on probation man, and so it was like, yeah, this fucking guy again, right, and and it wasn't the here's the thing that command was still going to be okay with it, just because it wasn't really like a really bad. But it turned into something kind of bad and baby Jag was like negative, right.
Speaker 2:So they, they tested me for steroids. This is the the what really. They tested me for steroids because they saw the police report. They're like there's no way. So I had gotten tased man and ripped tasers out and it was just kind of a thing. And uh, and they go, he's definitely on performance enhancing drugs, which I was. So they sent my, they sent my my blood work up to ucla olympic testing center 90.
Speaker 2:You're talking about climate. There's that climate at this time of like guys getting in trouble for steroids. And so it was like, with this guy he's doing really well, he's got a lot of you know, people know we're going to make an example, not that I was being made an example of, but they just weren't going to let it slide. Yeah, and they brought the hammer down on me and so I took a general discharge Grateful to my CO, because it would have been an OTH, but he had the ability to cap it. He goes, this guy, he's done good work for us, so he's been here seven years. So it wasn't like I was there for seven years, multiple deployments, and they gave me a general discharge and then I had to go back to jail. So I go, I go to jail and and when I walk out of jail I am out of the military. No, no, uh, reserve time, you know all that is. I'm cut clean with a dd214, with a general damn that is.
Speaker 1:That is talk about, like starting over a video game on extremely difficult man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, like it was it was uh, I mean you, you know you're, you're respawning. That's what it felt like.
Speaker 1:It felt like I was responding with okay, well, now I'm in the civilian world, yeah Right dude, that that's got to be brutal and it there's no other way to put it but like in a video game reference of you just you just finished a game on fucking awesome mode, your navy seal and then start back up out of nowhere. Yeah, take us through that. Like what was your, your, you know, I, I couldn't blame anybody if they're walking out of those those gates and they decide to say you know what? Fuck it, I'm just done for a while.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and you know I. And here's the thing is, I, I had the ability to compartmentalize it, which was good and bad. I shelved it. I shelved it and I was like, well, moving on, and I just didn't even really address the loss of the. I just moved forward and I I had already I knew this was coming, you know. So I had already prepped a job working in construction as a supervisor for a big project with a really good company, and so I had done kind of a lateral financial move. So I was you, you know.
Speaker 2:Now I'm on a big multimillion dollar project overseeing, you know, homes being built and drinking out of a fire hose. But I know how to run teams and find information and so I was pretty successful at it. But now the governor's off, right, so I don't have any. I'm not training for anything, I'm not worried about drug tests or any of that. So I'm taking Adderall, xanax, right, just every day, smoking weed at night, but the discipline-ish Still going to the gym. I'm not showing up, fucked up, right, I'm crushing work, not drinking at work or anything like that. So I was like I'm good, right, that's just what people do. You're a civilian man, you don't need that. I can do what I want now and my chi just wasn't centered. It was emotionally not stable. It was explosive with the relationship that I was in. It was just too much drinking too, just emotionally volatile, and that goes on for about a year. Then I do a lateral move again and start in the cannabis industry. We're building out facilities and doing some stuff that was legal for the first year. So now I'm a chief security officer of that, pitching decks and moving up the ladder and next thing I know everybody gets fired. The VC capitalist likes me and I've raised a lot of money and now I'm pitching decks for his other companies and doing all this stuff and I stack on an opiate habit during this time. So I'm making good money and living paycheck to paycheck man Like I was, I had no financial discipline.
Speaker 2:The relationship was speed wobbles and snorting fentanyl at night, doing work, emails, and so I'm doing all this every day, man, seven days a week. Still going to the gym, still still. But now I'm sipping vodka at the gym at like 5 pm, right to take the edge off and and totally thinking it's, it's normal, but I'm still hitting these wickets of success. So nobody's really saying anything to me, because they're like dude, he's still fucking crushing it. But Speedwaffles, man, you can't bend reality that long. And I was getting them. I was missing meetings. Now things are falling off the back of the truck.
Speaker 2:Relationship's not good. Financially I'm not stable. I'm going tits up from taking too much, every once in a while smashing my face to pieces and getting it stitched up and just continuing on like it was completely nothing and then it was just all came to a head. It all falls apart. It's at some point and that's exactly what happened Lost the job, the girl, the, this, the that, the money, and now I'm so I get off opiates. I knew that had to happen. I separate, I moved, I separated myself from everything and just white knuckled that which was challenging, because I didn't think I was addicted man, I didn't think I had a problem.
Speaker 2:But you know that's like I didn't think I had a problem. But you know, the issue was I never had a problem because I never not did it. Yeah, so it's, it's easy to say it's easy to say that because I had never not done it. I did it every day for like a year and so how do you know you have a problem, you know, and so, but it felt like I was crawling out of my skin man, like it really had its hooks in me and I didn't understand, because I never really dealt with physical addiction. There's like the I would. I wouldn't even say I'm like a person that's addicted to it, but I will abuse stuff With this. I was addicted, I was 100% addicted, like at a cellular level. So that was a process of learning, but got off that never had a problem with that since.
Speaker 2:But now I'm, no purpose, completely isolated. The work emails get cut. Now I'm like what am am I doing? I'm floundering, now the money runs out that I had kind of saved and sold my shares in the cup, and now I'm homeless in my truck and I had this moment where I turned the car off and I go, oh, and it just felt like this cloak like falling on me like, oh, this is how it happens, I'm homeless, I got nowhere to go. I got like $6 in my account, no gas. I'm parked in the jungle of like the east side of Hawaii, on the big island where I had just isolated. It was like it's like very rural, but I knew nobody would mess with me because there's just no cars down there and no cell service.
Speaker 2:And I had a sawed off shotgun on the passenger seat of my truck and I just sat there, man, for three days, dead serious, just sat in the car, didn't move for like three days and would go for little walks in the jungle and just was not sad but just tired. Like you had said, denny, like dude, I was just exhausted. I just didn't, denny, like dude, I was just exhausted, I just didn't. I didn't have it in me to like try again. And that's where, if anybody watching this is at that point, man, it's, it's, it's a scary, because it feels very hopeless. It feels like you're, like I can't muster the energy to fucking give a fuck anymore, or or or had the emotional bandwidth to even talk to anybody, and and so I, and luckily, after about a few days, I had like a moment of clarity. I call it God.
Speaker 2:But that was like, hey, man, sack up, you're not going to kill yourself. You have a mom, a sister. You're not going to leave that type of devastation behind you. It's not you. So if you're going to do this, sack up and fucking make it. Make a run again. And so I was like, all right, well, if I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, let me just do it with my boots on at least. I was like, I'm like, and so I. That's when I was like I'm gonna join the foreign legion, who knows where they're gonna send me, what they're gonna do. But let me just, let me push myself through one more crucible and see, kind of what happens. And that was so. That was about two years and some change to the day when I had got out of the United States military that this was happening.
Speaker 1:Damn. That is one hell of a message from God to receive at your absolute worst moment. Yeah, do you reflect back on that and think, exactly that's where it came from. That was divine intervention, a thousand percent.
Speaker 2:I've always felt a guiding force in my life, even through that sense of child. I wasn't really raised in a religious home. I was exposed to a lot of different religions. Actually, my mom studies Buddhism. I've gone to a lot of meditation retreats. My dad, you know they were raised Catholic, but you know they're not Catholic and Christian. We go to church but it wasn't something that was really pushed.
Speaker 2:But I've always felt some spiritual connection and that there's a lot more than meets the eye, you know, and energies and things are very, very real. And so I was tapped into that and even in my worst moments I never was like, oh, there's no God. I was just like, oh shit, man, I really fucked up this time. You know I need help. You know it was.
Speaker 2:I was always kind of that type of dialogue and so I was always open and receptive to it and I was broken down enough because God doesn't shout at you, he whispers, and destiny doesn't you know it's your destiny is going to whisper at you. It's not some loud, booming voice, and so then to hear it you need to quiet the noise. And if you're on drugs you're disconnected, because it's very self-serving If you're even in your phone or just stressing, or you're just, you're not hearing it. You have to be quiet, and it was quiet enough. Quite literally, in the jungle by myself, the only thing going is like the tree frogs. But I had no, I was completely open and listening, and that's. That's when you hear it. And I did Dude hell yeah.
Speaker 1:And how did that go? Like, once you knew that that was the calling, what was, how did you even even think about like how do I get connected? Where do I go? And how do I get now that I'm homeless and with $6 to my name, how do I get a ticket to France?
Speaker 2:Oh well, the first thing you know it's it's amazing how things like you don't see a way, everything seems impossible. And then, when you start making, things start to open. And here's exactly how I did it. I went. I had already researched the Foreign Legion when I had been in my checkered past as a kid and was having trouble getting in the United States military. So I knew about the unit. I even knew about him when I was younger unit. I even knew about them when I was younger.
Speaker 2:And then when I was realizing I didn't really have a lot of options after the old, the civil career was kind of it started creeping up again and I said, okay, this is my, look red, grab red if I need to. And I was at that point. And so I had already done some preparation, mental preparation, and I knew where I needed to go, what I needed to do. So I didn't really, I just needed to dot some I's and cross some T's. But financially, bro, I Googled and I went. Well, those fast cash. My credit was shit at this time and I had overdrawn accounts, but I went. Those fast cash loan places will give you money. And so I reached out to two of them $500, two different companies for $500. And I got it probably cost me a million percent interest, which I paid after I got out of the bootcamp in Foreign Legion, but it probably the $1,000 probably cost me five grand, but I took it out, man, and that's what I used. I took a one-way flight to France to, uh, to France, man.
Speaker 1:Hell yeah, and I want to pause on that man, cause that's a lot of people that you just you you talk about where there's. When you finally are resolute on what you want to do, the path will unveil itself Like it'll be crystal clear in front of you and you have to answer that calling Like it's it and you have to answer that calling. It happens to us when we're a young man going into the military. At first you don't know, oh, how do I do it? What should I choose? What MOS? And when you make that decision, the path will be crystal clear in front of you. Same thing for going to selection. It's like be absolutely resolute with your decision and shit will fall in line and you'll see it. And for you it was taking those those quick payday loans or like whatever you have to do to make that mission complete. Man like yeah, after it go fucking after it.
Speaker 2:The universe respects drastic action, really does. And when we overthink, there's a there's. There's a guy, johnny chang. He's kind of big in the, in the, in jesus and in ministry and stuff, but he was in prison for a long time and he said something interesting to me. He said there's two types of thinking deep thinking and overthinking. At deep thinking is positive and strategic.
Speaker 2:You always know when you're overthinking because it turns negative and people will be deep thinking and there'll be showing a pathway and they're like okay, and then they start overthinking and then they get analysis, paralysis, right and when, when, when. Don't go over to that side. When it's clear, go and and and trust your gut instinct and that's, I think we'll serve. I'm sure it served us well. You know we're still here at that. Gut instinct and being decisive is massive and things start to align because that's walking your aligned path and things will fall into place that you didn't see coming or you don't know what you don't know until that path illuminates. As you walk, it starts to become more clear as you actually trust the process.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely man. So you get to France, like bring us to that journey. What it was like like walking up and getting, like actually like hey, I'm former navy seal, I'm here to get in the foreign legion.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dude, I, I said a prayer man, it was raining, it was like nighttime, I was like sunday, and there's this old base called fort nogent. It says legion and trangere over the. If anybody's seen those pictures, it's quite poetic, kind of, hard kind of. But I was the only motherfucker there. It was raining, it was late October or mid-October, it was a full Hunter's, full moon man. It was quite, quite interesting the scene.
Speaker 2:And I sat on this bench and I got my paperwork together. I had a dd 214 and my passport, boom, and I had. I just was like I had it like readily accessible and you only bring, you, walk up to a bag. There's no, anybody that knows. It's an old, 200 year old institution that was started by an old kate. They fought in every war, from like algeria to afghanistan. But it's comprised of foreigners and the only way to go join is to go and knock on the door, like the wizard of Oz or something. There's no calling ahead or anything. So it's pretty unique in that capacity. And I came up with my black leather bag and knocked on the door and a, a Mexican Legionnaire, opened the door and he said you know, why are you here really? And in French. And I said and I had Googled it right before I walked in and he said take your fucking hat off.
Speaker 2:I had my hat on dead serious in like perfect English. And so I I took my hat off and and then I gave him my passport and that was that was. I didn't see that passport again for two and a half years. It was that was starting into the process and they took me down to the bowels and the back. A Ukrainian chief equivalent picked me up and then he told me to get up on the fucking ballpark, like 9 o'clock at night, and that's what I did and that was the start of it damn, yeah, and then I would imagine that, uh, it was probably one of the craziest things I've seen.
Speaker 1:It. I don't think the documentaries do a really good way of like depicting like what it's like to be in that mentality of a like you don't, you're not a native french speaker, yeah, and I, from what I've seen, is not. Everybody there speaks english, so it's like you have to figure this fucking language out ASAP.
Speaker 2:It is unique because 150 nations are represented in the Foreign Legion. So you're surrounded by guys. I had never been in a room where so many languages I could hear Very, very unique Mongolian, thai, spanish, portuguese. You got the Africans speaking Afrikaans. You've got all that stuff. Dude, it's crazy what you're hearing. And then me, little old me, and I'm speaking to some of the Nepali guys that speak a little bit of English and some broken English, but we're trying to learn a lot of sitting around, waiting, a lot of processing.
Speaker 2:The process is IQ tests, interval background checks, medical checks, psychological evaluations, physical tests, and that takes about a month and you're like in civilian gear and a little bit of sports gear for this process. And then then you get the opportunity to go to bootcamp. It's about one out of 15, one out of 12 guys get selected to actually go to bootcamp. But during this, psychologically, during this time, man, I was hurting. Man, I was hurting. I was very much it.
Speaker 2:It was this interesting mix of feeling finally proud, again, being in something positive, and I knew it was a powerful story. So I knew I was doing, I was going in the right direction, but it was painful. It was back to the fucking bottom like, yeah, scrubbing toilets, getting yelled at. I was just doing halos, which was you know which was. It's a tough pill to swallow, man, when they're like we don't give a fuck what you were. Scrub the toilet, motherfucker. Right, yeah, and it's not like I was sitting here going around telling people I was a, but you know as things people figure that stuff out, I got a little extra love, but it was, you do. I'm back in army infantry boot camp.
Speaker 2:It was, it was uh, it was humbling, but it was what I needed because it also it felt good to just sit. You know, in the military, a lot of sitting and waiting. It felt felt healing, just to sit and not feel rushed or all chaotic, and my brain was healing. I had a lot of things that I was processing out and it was a time where it was a pain I needed to feel. I needed to mourn the loss of my old life and say goodbye to it. It was gone, man. The title, the title, the, this, the, that the life was gone and it was just all right.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm gonna walk into this unknown fray and see what happens yeah, how did it feel to come out of the, out of that training and and earn that name, that title being a french forward legionnaire? Like how did that feel? Was it to the equivalent of everything you'd hope it'd be was? Was it just as like impactful? Or did you feel any sort of like fuck, like this wasn't what I was looking for.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, it definitely wasn't. I'll say this I didn't go with any expectation, which was helpful for me. I knew it wasn't going to be like where I was coming from. Yeah, so that was not what it wasn't like to be like where I was coming from. Yeah, so that was not what wasn't like I was trying to match the SEAL teams. I knew that that was. There was just nothing I was going to come across. It's not like, it's not a special force unit yeah. Also, I knew it was infantry, highly trained infantry, but still infantry.
Speaker 2:And I wasn't expecting to go do Rambo shit, like everybody who's been in the military any amount of time knows. That's not it. And so I didn't have that weird romantic expectation and I had already been to bootcamp, so I kind of knew what to expect. And so there was a. My expectation. Management was very fair. So, because I really just needed to use it as a, I needed time to figure out what the fuck I was going to do and if, if time was going to pass, I was going to do it with a gun and doing something kind of interesting yeah.
Speaker 2:So that that's all I needed it for, and so anything else that came I was happy about. So it was perfect for that. It gave me time to figure some things out, work on my own self, development physically and psychologically. And also we deployed, you know, south America, eastern Europe. We did some internal terrorism, domestic missions in france, and so it was like we were moving and grooving and the training was hard as shit.
Speaker 2:I was in the mountain mountain regiment, so there's a lot of training up in the alps and they, they know the french, know they're, they're alpine, you know that, they know they're alpining. And so I was getting my ass kicked, dude and so, and so it was challenging Psychologically. You're learning a language. They're not okay with you speaking English. And the running I fucking hate running and they love to run, dude. That was this most scared thing. That was the biggest thing I had fear about, because I was always the runner that just barely made. It was the biggest thing I had fear about because I was always the runner that just barely made it and I had to really try to pass everything. And now I was 34, going back into a selection into one of the biggest running units in the world. They would they wake up and run half marathons in boots in the snow like no food often bro often and five miles minimum in the morning.
Speaker 2:rain or snow, rain or shine, and and fast and so and I was hurting for the first year to forever, really the whole time, but I got a little bit better, but it was hard, man and and a good time where to answer your question directly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it wasn. I knew I wasn't fulfilled, though Right, and that came two or three years in where I was like, oh no, dude, there's nowhere else to go. Like, what do I do now? Like I'm a Legionnaire SEAL, or have been, and now I'm still kind of now I'm living in a barracks room at my late thirties, like what? Then I realized I just got to do some internal work. And that's when I started kind of building my daily blueprint and realized that no matter what was going on, I just needed to be right and then started doing a little bit more internal work, being more disciplined on my physical side, shedding some old vices and old ways of moving and grooving and just holding myself to a higher standard on a daily, and that was that opened up the world to me, that that was now I was happy, even in the foreign Legion, which is hard to do.
Speaker 1:You know. So I was like all right, it's working. I feel like you've had. You've had two, honestly three transitions in your life. Honestly three transitions in your life, like the, the rapid removal from a brotherhood that is so elite that few americans really understand. Then a immediate pivot out of prison into the civilian world, with a chaotic transition out of that into the french four legions. Yeah then it's like god gave you that opportunity, the, the universe opened up. It's like okay, now you know this isn't what you want to do forever. How are you going to exit and pivot out of this successfully deploying your parachute?
Speaker 2:yeah, and that was that was really where I came and it happened kind of work. I knew I wanted to tell my story and so for this whole time in I was like this is going to be a cool story to tell and but I got to get right first, or else there's no story Right and there's no redemption arc If you don't have the redemption part, you know. And so I was like, well, all right, I got to get good, I got to get good now and then. So I just spent years waking up at the same time, earlier than they were even making me kind of training, reading, diving into my own psychological state, stoicism, all these different pieces that just helped me kind of frame things correctly and holding myself to a higher standard of what energy I was putting out. Like man, I run my internal state right. If I'm low I'll change it. Like I'll do what I got to do to bump my frequency up. And that was helpful also because it brought of all the things I didn't have control over. It was like all I could have control over, and so that I just developed that again and again and again. And then one day I kind of realized like man, dude, I feel good I was suicidal and, dude, I feel good I was suicidal and now I'm happy, right, like in a barracks room, like man, I want to tell this story. And so that was. I was like I could teach guys how to, how to, how to kind of reframe and get some momentum back, cause I lost my mojo, man, and it took me some years and I know what that feels like to be like walking through quicksand, you know, as as a man, and not feeling like you're living to your potential. And so I was started telling my story of nothing else. I thought it'd be an interesting story, so I put my camera down in my barracks room in my uniform, in the, you know, on my YouTube it's on my first video and I just told the story of how I ended up there, raw, no cuts, no edits, and I just have done that since I'm just going stream of consciousness and it hit and I started getting like hundreds of emails from guys being like hey, dude, I was going to kill myself and I didn't prior Marines, army guys, and like I really appreciate you, like I don't know how you popped up on my feed, but I really thank you for telling this story. It really kind of reframed and I'm like there's something here. And so that's when I knew that that my story wasn't just mine and it was helpful. And so it wasn't like I think my story is so great either.
Speaker 2:It was like I was actually very hesitant to tell it. You know, I didn't want to, I didn't have, I didn't have social media and shit. I was in the hospital man, and I was just like well, I got a little time, maybe I'll start dabbling. You know, and this was when I was in france, I tore my medial calf muscle up in the mountains and so I was just kind of like in there and so I had a little time and I started practicing on camera and like maybe I could tell this story or we'll see kind of what happens, with no real plan or how to formulate this thing.
Speaker 2:And it just resonated with people and I found a lot of purpose, transcending self. Right, I had the self-actualization piece and now it's like it felt good to be able to just be like see people kind of getting their momentum back, just off shit that I was doing. I'll just show you what I do. Here's what supplements I take. Here's the time I get up and here's how I eat, here's how I check my food and here's how I train. Do that and watch. And here's how I train. Do that and watch. You just start feeling better. Sure enough, people started feeling better and that's just what I've continued to do.
Speaker 2:And so I had the ability to do a military transition twice right, and I fumbled the first one and that's why I was like how did I fumble it?
Speaker 2:I did a lot of years of really thinking back. I didn't maintain my disciplines, I didn't have a blueprint, I didn't really think about that, and so I was like I'm not doing that this time. So the same shit I was doing in the French Foreign Legion barracks room I still do in my house on the golf course now, right In the bathroom at 3.30, 4 in the morning, in the bathroom at 3.34 in the morning. That's serious. I have not changed not one day of that, because I just call it crazy or call it whatever you want. It works for me. So it's a touch point that I find a lot of getting myself right in a good, deliberate morning, not some long biohacking bullshit that takes two hours, but just a good 30 minutes of getting myself without looking at this thing without getting pulled into the matrix, but like that was helpful for me and so I also show people that is deliberate, morning is very important and that's I get a lot of, I get a lot of purpose out of that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's one thing that we're starting to see with like minded coaches. Shot at the Terry Wilson, former star, major Green Beret friend and my personal trainer. But he has the same methodologies and he speaks about it often and, going on your website, you share the same insights that I think are successful for so many individuals that are looking for guidance on where to start. It's not about going out there and buying those $300 fucking trainer shoes and a whole bunch of gear like fuck, fuck the equipment, fuck the high expense shit. Like, yeah, what you need right now is a purpose and a clear insight as to what you're putting into your body and what you're doing throughout your day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it comes across and everything that you're putting out there, man and I and I want to ask right now, like being able to look back at your journey and now seeing the impact, like does it actually hit you that? Like holy shit. Like I've turned this life of pain and trauma and turmoil into purpose and I'm actually helping people. Like, have you feeling? Have you given yourself the time like pause and reflect how many people you've been able to help and touch with your story just by being vulnerable enough to share it?
Speaker 2:I feel very fortunate and blessed that it's like panned out well and that it like is working and the message is being received. And and now I feel like I'm not doing enough. I feel like I can do more, but also I feel a responsibility to myself of like, well, I gotta hold myself to the higher standard now. I can't fucking slip man. It. It's not just about me anymore, not to mention I have a family now and stuff. It's like there's the the game has upped. Yeah, right, the the game is upped and there's no more. You don't have the luxury of fucking up again. It's not about yeah, you don't, you don't get another redo, man. And that's like I get the chills when I think about it, because I know it's like god going yeah, bro, like you, you used them all up. There's no more in the tank, right, and so it's like okay, if that's the case, then I gotta be very strategic about what I do deliver it like you're talking about denny, like like um, your colleague, man, it's is this wisdom, man, it's it's collective unconscious. They've been talking about this stuff since thousands of years ago. Samarians were talking about it, right, it's not new information that people go, you're just repackaging? Yeah, no shit, because people need to be more reminded than talked, and it's just packaged differently for different people and it's received by different people in different ways and so people resonate in different ways. But everybody should be doing it.
Speaker 2:Not one person benefits from being less disciplined Not possible. Maybe if you're some weird artist or something, maybe I don't know, but you know they don't live very happy lives a lot of them. But if you want to live in inner peace and clarity, discipline is how you do it. You don't need to be a robot. You don't need to measure every fucking almond, right? It's not what it's about, but it's about being mindful and hold a little bit of restraint. That's it. And if you do, if you have a good plan, like you, don't try to build a house without a blueprint. Don't try to build some beautiful life without a plan, a game plan, right, and you build it with a blueprint and it just works better and when you hit it you feel good, it's a good it's a good reference point.
Speaker 1:Yeah, discipline is the actual freedom that you're craving. The idea that you can just fly around on your day-to-day activities and just not have a care in the world, eat tons of bullshit and just be sucked into your phone all fucking day long that's not freedom. Like, you need discipline. Like motivation, and this idea that you need to have the right height video that shit's fleeting. Like you have to have discipline. Set the alarm clock, wake up when the first one goes off, not in the fifth one or sixth one, and get out there and do something.
Speaker 1:Be physically active, be mindful, live your ethos. Like you want to talk about all this great shit on social media. Are you actually living it? Are you actually holding yourself accountable? Like, and you're living proof that when you put in the work, when you put it out into the universe and it speaks back to you, you have to jump at that fucking opportunity. Because think back if you didn't jump at that opportunity and you just decided to sit out there in that in the jungles in hawaii a little bit longer, that version of taylor, where would he be today?
Speaker 2:I doubt that he'd be with us yeah, that's the powerful man denny was saying. That is because when these windows open, go through them. When those doors open, go through them. Don't wait for another, better one. I assure you it's opening up for a reason and that trust and faith, that being tapped into a higher spiritual frequency, understanding that your path is important.
Speaker 2:I had a buddy, jimmy Watson, who's great. I'll link you guys up with him. But Blackwater Seal done a lot of stuff and he's like, it's like the man who doesn't believe in destiny doesn't have one. I was like, damn man, it's very powerful. You got to know you're on a destiny's path and some type of greatness that's for a greater purpose. If you don't have that, you will be lost.
Speaker 2:It's not just about self-actualizing and acquiring until you die. Nobody's happy like that and that's not the life I want to live. And so I've likened that, like these us-like minds and people, it's resonating with people. For a reason there's this movement happening. I know you see it. For whatever reason and kind of how this shift is coming about, where it's like man, be accountable, let's hold ourselves, let's move forward. Like it's not cool to be soft and that pleasure seeking and the, the, you're a slave to your desire. Yep, we're just doing what we want. You're not free, you're a slave to your desire, and that you and people wonder why they aren't happy and they feel like shit. Well, it's because you did whatever you wanted all day, and now you're paying the karmic debt for it, and so go the other direction. If you've tried that and it's not working, let's try something else.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, man. Taylor. If people want to get a hold of you or seek you out for coaching, where can they go?
Speaker 2:My website, taylorcavenacom. That contact form goes right to my personal email, so I don't do outsource AI or anything like that, so that comes right to me. My Instagram TCAB official you can also reach me there on the DMs and my YouTube, taylor Cavanaugh TCAB TV man. We dive into the deeper principles gym sessions with some different characters around the United States and some keynote speeches and stuff, but that has a lot of information on there.
Speaker 1:but my website will be the best way to reach me oh yeah, man, if you pause right now, go to the episode description. You'll see all the links there. Hit them up. If you're looking for purpose direction and just need to get moved out of the funk that you're in, reach out to taylor. It's a real human being which has actually been through some shit and not some. You know, 20-year-old influencer, that the hardest thing they ever had to do was leave their parents home.
Speaker 2:So we shot Taylor today. Move out of the funk, man. I like that Dude. That's so well said, right, let's get feeling better right?
Speaker 1:Absolutely, man. Taylor, I can't thank you enough for being here tuning in. And one more thing head on over to YouTube or Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Leave us a five-star review, Leave us some comments. It helps the algorithm and it pushes the episodes, so if you could do that for me, I'd greatly appreciate it. Taylor, thank you again to all y'all tuning in. Thank you for being here. We'll see y'all next time. Until then, take care.
Speaker 2:Thanks, man Appreciate y'all.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, brother. Thanks for tuning in and don't forget to like, follow, share, subscribe and review us on your favorite podcast platform. If you want to support us, head on over to buymeacoffeecom forward slash SecHop podcast and buy us a coffee. Connect with us on Instagram, x or TikTok and share your thoughts or questions about today's episode. You can also visit securityhubcom for exclusive content, resources and updates. And remember we get through this together. If you're still listening the episode's over. Yeah, there's no more Tune in tomorrow or next week.
