Security Halt!
Welcome to Security Halt! Podcast, the show dedicated to Veterans, Active Duty Service Members, and First Responders. Hosted by retired Green Beret Deny Caballero, this podcast dives deep into the stories of resilience, triumph, and the unique challenges faced by those who serve.
Through powerful interviews and candid discussions, Security Halt! Podcast highlights vital resources, celebrates success stories, and offers actionable tools to navigate mental health, career transitions, and personal growth.
Join us as we stand shoulder-to-shoulder, proving that even after the mission changes, the call to serve and thrive never ends.
Security Halt!
From War to Wellness: Tyler Heisey on Marines, Mental Health & Healing Through Purpose
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What happens when the uniform comes off—but the war doesn’t end in your mind?
In this powerful episode of Security Halt!, host Deny Caballero sits down with Tyler Heisey, a U.S. Marine veteran, mental health advocate, and now a Licensed Counselor, to explore the raw realities of military service, trauma, and the long road to healing.
Tyler opens up about:
· 🇺🇸 His journey from being a young boy inspired by military films to deploying as a Marine
· 🧠 The internal battles of mental health, PTSD, and the silent suffering veterans face
· 🛑 Why community, therapy, and self-awareness are essential to the transition process
· 🔥 How he’s channeling his pain into purpose—fusing mental health, culinary arts, and military history to create something powerful
· 💡 The message every struggling veteran needs to hear right now: You’re not alone
This episode is a heartfelt conversation on resilience, recovery, and redefining what it means to serve—after the battlefield.
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📲 Like, share, comment, and subscribe to help us amplify veteran voices and break the stigma around mental health.
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Produced by Security Halt Media
Security Out Podcast is proudly sponsored by Titans Arms. Head on to the episode description and check out Titans Arms today. Tyler Heisey welcome to Security Out Podcast. How's it going, brother? Good brother, how are you doing? I'm doing well. It is remarkable to have you here. I've been following you for a long time In this world and in the space that we find ourselves.
Speaker 1:Being an advocate's great, it helps. Being a peer support facilitator is awesome. We are still in the critical shortage of mental health professionals, so we need everybody in the fight. We need everybody to take care of themselves first, put their oxygen mask on first and start helping out. But the big task is getting more veterans certified, trained on the other side, becoming practitioners, becoming doctors and seeing somebody that has picked up that mission and has made it through that gauntlet. Man, that story needs to be shared and we need to celebrate that, because that is not an easy task. So today, man, we're going to dive into your story. We're going to dive into your service, everything you've done. But before we start, I'd like to proudly say that Security Out Podcast is sponsored by Titan's Arms. So there you go. That's the intro roll. As we say, thank you, titan's Arms, for backing us. It's an honor to be affiliated with you, and let's move forward now, tyler, how's it going, man, good brother.
Speaker 2:Good, excellent way to start a Sunday morning, right before the gym. Nice, good, excellent way to start a.
Speaker 1:Sunday morning right before the gym Nice, dude, Heck. Yeah, One of the things that we talk about is being able to take care of the body too. It's one of the biggest things that can help with our mental health. So, yeah, dude, got to get after it.
Speaker 2:Where would you like to dive into this?
Speaker 1:Let's take it all the way back. How does a young boy find himself in the Marine Corps? Oh man, John.
Speaker 2:Wayne San Zivajima got me when I was like six years old and I just built my life around the Corps. I had my room. Growing up I had all the decor on the backdrop, the ranks Such a motivator Dude I was going to guess.
Speaker 1:I was going to guess that it was an early movie like that. Your page, it just screams that era of watching it through the film, the animations, everything. It was like, dude, this has got to be influenced by those old old World War II movies, john Wayne movies yeah, the big JW man. It's either that or the promotional material the Slain of the Dragon. The big JW man, that's a big. It's either that or the promotional material the slain of the dragon, the lava monster. Marine Corps has the best recruitment ads. It almost got me.
Speaker 2:No, absolutely, absolutely. And I enjoy the 40s and his aesthetic, especially for, like the stuff I push out because we weren't there, we can't associate with that. Yeah, that makes sense, that makes a lot of sense, yeah but I was gung-ho, super young, worked my tail off, graduated a year early from high school just to go into the Corps. Yeah no, it was dead set, my mission.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and what'd you find yourself enlisted as A rifleman yeah, exactly what I wanted.
Speaker 2:Asvab didn't care, just had to pass.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's. There's something to be said about that. A lot of guys that I meet they're like dude, all I wanted to do was be a rifleman. And some guys don't get the opportunity. They get talked to and doing a different job. But going in there and finally getting what you signed up for, like what was it like Getting what I?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, it wasn't Call of Duty. I can say that the running was not enjoyable. Sergeant John Stryker, the Duke's character, that's what I wanted. I wanted to be with those rowdy guys and I always had the idea of like I wanted to go serve. I'm a GWAT baby, so I wanted to go fight and get some revenge. And it was a culture shock for sure. I don't think anyone growing up is prepared for the service, regardless of what your job was or what you did. Going into the core, I mean boot camp was shock and awe. Naturally it is for all of us. And then, checking into my first unit, I was out in um 29 palms and man, yeah, yeah, but best place to start, because everything else after that is just the cherry on the cake. But no, I I checked into 29 and we were just nose on the grindstone prepping for, tentatively, iraq. So our seniors just got back from afghanistan and they're like, hey, we're going to iraq. And it was just train, train, train. The tempo was through the roof yeah it's.
Speaker 1:It's grueling man. Those early years was not easy for for anybody. Now there's the idea of what deployment's going to be like. There's the the, the young man's hubris of like I'm going to be a war fighter, I'm going to, I'm going to get valor awards, I'm going to be the hero, I'm going to be fighting these mythical Taliban and insurgents. And you hear all these words and you paint the picture of like this worst case scenario. You're on the tarmac, you're loading up, like, oh my God, here, we go again here. And you're flying and you have a pit stop here in Kuwait with just like tattooing. You're like, oh my God, it's finally here. Then you get there. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, what was that like for you, taking in that idea and meeting the reality of what deployment really is like?
Speaker 2:I'm grateful for the trajectory of my career in the sense that my seniors are like, hey, you're going gonna go to iraq, prepare to die, but you better take a handful with you before you go, drilling that into us and we're pumped, we're ready to go. And for myself, I was fortunate to have two floats to the pacific before I even went to the middle east. So I've got this mindset of like hell, yeah, I'm gonna get some, or got some if I go, but at the same time, what the fuck, man, I wanted to play. This isn't a deployment. I'm out in the Pacific. At the same time, I'm a young buck. I met a lady, got married way too fast. I was the guy that got the. I didn't get the Mustang, but I got the truck with the huge APR because I wanted that freedom.
Speaker 2:So I went through these two floats to the Pacific, having kids itching for the fight, hearing all these stories from my seniors and I'm like this isn't enough for me, like I joined to fight and that's what I want to do. So I'm going to reenlist. Joined to fight and that's what I want to do, so I'm going to reenlist. So I, on my second time to Okinawa I was talking to the career planner I think that's what the word was and I was like, hey, I want to go to Afghanistan. What do I have to do? I missed Iraq. I'm not getting out without doing this. He's like, yeah, no, we can get you to a victory unit. There's one down in Pendleton. I was like, sweet, when I get back, let me get down there, let me PCS.
Speaker 2:And I moved down to Pendleton with the family when I got back and they were already in the beginning of their workup. So I plugged right in and I think it was two, three months before redeployed and went to Kyrgyzstan for the layover, then went to Camp Leatherneck and the Afghanistan was what and not what I expected. Because we like we see the movies, we see all the cool stuff, and then when the cool stuff happens, it's like okay, I'm actually like this is the job and it really. For myself, it challenged a lot of things within me, because a lot of us we grow up with whoever raises us parents, grandparents, whoever and we're taught what's right, what's wrong.
Speaker 2:If you steal, you get in trouble. Good things happen to good people, bad things happen to bad people. And having opportunities in Afghanistan it challenged those values that I held and with the natural work tempo that we have on a deployment I'm trying to quickly assimilate this information into my headspace while being locked in as an NCO and through the experiences that I had in Afghanistan as you know, you've spent some time in Iraq You're constantly locked in to go. Even if you're sitting up at the COC reading a book, you're still ready for it, and those seven months were, I'll say that, yeah, but it was everything I wanted, and then some, I think that's the best way to capture the entire experience.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then, on the backside of it, trying to make sense of it all when you come back, exactly.
Speaker 2:As a husband, as a young husband and dealing with a family family. What was that journey like for you? When I returned, oh man, man, denny when I got back to the unit, um, or when I got back to the states, when the unit got back, we, we had a few months of like downtime. So, like I, I went to a school and I noticed that there were some things that were different within myself, as well as, like the new boot drop coming in. You got the new, another generation of kids coming in, um, but my, my big thing was when I got back. My third one was in 2012 and I had one son at the time. I've got three kids now.
Speaker 2:Um, when I got back, when I was going through the school, there was a lot of issues going on at home Arguing with the missus not really With my kid, just still trying to be locked in to work, because Marine Corps comes first, not the family and I went to the family readiness officer for our unit and I was like, hey, I need to talk to someone for like couples counseling. I've got a lot of. I got a lot of things going on with the wife and I, and she linked me up with somebody and I started talking to them and they're like hey, you should go to this part of the base. Um, there's someone over here I want you to talk to. I think they can give you some additional support. I was like, yeah, okay, that's fine, let's just make this quick. I got shit to do and I ended up talking to that lady and I don't remember the specifics, but she's like hey, we need to actually schedule some time you and I to talk.
Speaker 2:I don't know if it's just the marriage component and through the next like three to four months, I think it was, I was talking to her and I was getting a lot of different appointments for different things for my headspace, which didn't make sense, to be blunt, because I wasn't a pussy. It didn't make sense. It's like why am I talking about this shit? Cultural competency, like cultural competency. Yeah, yeah, like I did my job, everything's fine. There's just something seriously wrong with her. I'm good to go, I'm locked in.
Speaker 2:And through these appointments, through some physical appointments, I ended up getting transferred to Wood Warrior Battalion because I was spending more time away from my unit than I was supposed to, time away from my unit than I was supposed to. And during my time at Wounded Warrior Battalion, I was loaded with appointments mental health appointments, physical appointments and that's when I feel the levee started to break for myself, because they're forced me to talk about all this different stuff. I had a social worker that was a Vietnam vet, which was awesome because he was able to breach that wall, because I was very stonewalled with a lot of different things and what really clicked for me, one of my friends was a coach at. He was a civilian and he did a lot of rock climbing, and one day I went rock climbing with his second, I guess and the dude forgot to lock into the auto belay, and he fell. He's okay now. He broke some lower extremities, but when that happened, though, like I went for the radio.
Speaker 2:It's like wait a minute. People come running out, and he's like yo Ty, come have a cigarette. I was like why? He's like come have a cigarette. And I walked over to the smoke pit and lit up I think it was Camel Blues at that time Nice, smoking a Camel Blue and it just all started coming out, coming right back, yeah, and he's like that's why you smoked a cigarette. And I think a few months later I ended up getting out and the big thing that I've emphasized with folks online, not professionally. I believed when I got out of the service it was our responsibility as men because this is how I was raised to live the 19 fees Americana lifestyle. You have a family, you've got two boys. Now you need to take care of your family. I transitioned into working in a manufacturing plant, so live there. Make sure they have everything that they need. That's how the end of my time in the core went.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's a. There's a few things I want to unpack, man, because I I think that you, you you're touching on something that a lot of guys are still doing the transition piece and not really unpacking and going through what they went through and going straight into that provider mindset. I gotta go find a job. Obviously, for a lot of guys contracting high stress environments, trying to get the most money to support the family, they just keep pushing that experience, trauma, everything down because no, my man, I've got to provide and I don't need to deal with any of this shit. I just need to worry about getting that best paying job right now and going right into it, going into that manufacturing job. Did you see any of the? You know, we often say that we hide behind the mask. Did you find yourself starting to see the fractures and starting to see a lot more come to the top, trying to live up to that expectation of that old 1950s reality of like, I'm just going to be the hardworking man, the provider, and focus on the provider part?
Speaker 2:My thought process was I'm going to strap this emotional flak jacket down because I don't have the time for this. Yeah, at the end of the day, who am I, denny? I mean, you were in Iraq. You did so much more than me. I was just in Afghanistan for one deployment. I'm not a multiple pump chump. I'm not a Wagner that deployed 12 times. I deployed one time.
Speaker 2:Who am I to complain about anything? And I don't have time to complain about stuff because I'm being weak and my seniors had it so much worse than me. Like that's ridiculous. Okay, yeah, I might be a little short fused, but I'm out of the core and no one believes in instant obedience to orders and people ask what the hell? And that's just, that's that.
Speaker 2:That was the double-edged sword that I dealt with, on top of the fact that as soon as I got out, one of my buddies called me and he's like, hey, so-and-so took his own life and I'm like, oh damn. And then it just started like a snowball, with people Just dropping at the cyclic rate, and I'm like, oh Jesus, is it going to happen to me? So, naturally, I don't want to keep getting all these phone calls. So goodbye, military community, get away. I'm not going to associate with any of you because that brings back things I don't want to think about. That brings back things I wanted to do and I couldn't, and that brings back contacts on my phone that I can't text anymore. So I'm just going to cut that part of my life out and I'm going to focus on being an area manager and being a dad and being a husband, and I can't really connect with any of my employees because they're all nasty and they have no discipline and they're weak and they ask why. And I'm setting myself up so perfectly to be in this little cubby by myself, which is excellent for what I wanted to do.
Speaker 2:And I transitioned really well into the manufacturing role because I was in charge of people, the objectives were clear and I was able to know what I needed to do every single day. I could disseminate the information. I had team leaders. Again, it was good to go and I was hit numbers as quickly as I could. I was working a lot of hours. I was making money way more money than I did in the core so life's Gucci, essentially and back in 2018, I was working a very interesting shift schedule Monday, tuesday night, friday, saturday day, excellent for sleep, excellent for your body, bro.
Speaker 1:Yeah right, I just want to interject right now. That is horrible, yeah, horrible. Ship work is some of the worst work for human beings and I know a lot of you out there. You're working your ass off to make ends meet, to provide for your family, and you might be part of the midnight crew, but please know that your circadian rhythm, your sleep, like that shit's so important for your brain function and man like flip flopping Holy shit, dude.
Speaker 2:But at the same time, though, so what, I've got good old monster to rely on. I got coffee, I got I can slam a pot and jam out to Slipknot on the way into work. I'm still in the core. I can crush this. This is fine. I only need two, three hours of sleep. What are you talking about? I can order some nasty food. We're good to go, because my family's having home-cooked meals every day. That's what matters to me. I don't have time for any of that other stuff.
Speaker 2:And I was working a Monday night and I don't remember which one in particular, but there was some song that was playing because we had music in my office, and somehow it hit me Like I was. I had like the big ick. I was like what the fuck is that? And finish off the shift. And I wasn't. I wasn't feeling right, like something didn't, like something was going on right here and I don't understand what was happening. So I finished up Tuesday morning, probably, got home like 8 o'clock. Walk inside. The missus is like how's it going? I sat down and just fell apart. She's like what's going on? I was like I don't know what's going on right now. This is ridiculous, but I'm going back to work. She's like you don't work until. So she filled up the pot, took it, went back to work, checked back in Day shift boss is like what are you doing? I was like I've just got some stuff on my head. I want to stay here, just work on some admin stuff. Are you cool with that? He's like yeah, just go to your office. So I stayed there during the day working on admin stuff.
Speaker 2:My people showed up that night, attacked the job, as I'm supposed to, and then essentially for I think it was about three months and it's a blur, a lot of it was a blur I was drinking on the job, I would leave work, I'd go to the bar, I'd get in fights and there was two failed attempts and one interrupted attempt to throw in the towel because I just didn't know what was going on and I was living in this hell. I was angry, I was depressed, I had the coulda, shoulda, wouldas going on. I would try to listen to certain songs to elicit emotions so I could cry and feel something and work up the courage to take the nap at the same time, because I didn't know what to do and the people that I was talking to, they kept talking about post-traumatic stress. They kept talking about depression, anxiety, the transition, family issues, sleep, health, like what.
Speaker 2:I'm a Marine and through this entire process of just craziness and I'm trying to be respectful to this podcast and I'm trying to be mindful of the things I say due to my profession but through that whirlwind I somehow ended up at this program in Chicago that saved my life and that program is called the Road Home Program and I went there for three weeks and we had group therapy, we had individual therapy, we had a bunch of different things going on, and during that last year I had my daughter. So it was just boom, boom, boom, constantly taking flack from something. When I went through this program and I had a solid baseline to go from, I didn't really know anything yet. I just knew what I was dealing with at the time and I wanted to make the next step forward in my life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, those programs are more than, and lifesavers. Being able to walk out of one of those programs for me it was Lower Ridge it allows you to become a better sensor, to save more lives, being able to share that resource, being able to advocate for it, because the one thing that we never give ourselves time is just time to be, time to reset, time to take a knee. I could not have done it, I could not have gone through my journey if I wasn't removed from my environment that was causing the chaos, causing the noise, causing me to be, you know, unable to see the reality of the situation. I was dealing with a temporary problem and there was a way out. There was a normal, safe pathway out of the conflict, out of the insanity that I was finding myself in, and I am so glad that you find your way out of the chaos and into a center. But on the backside of it, how did you continue to put one foot forward? That was a struggle that I thought. I thought that it was going to be easy peasy the moment you walked out. But it turns out you have to use the tools they give you. You have to start following. It's one thing in a controlled environment, but in the real world, when the punches aren't being pulled, how did you go back?
Speaker 1:This episode is brought to you by Titan Sarms. Head on over to titansarmscom and buya stack today. Use my code CDENNY10 to get your first stack. I recommend the Lean Stack. 2. Start living your best life, titan Sarms. No junk, no bullshit, just results. How did you start living again?
Speaker 2:I had to etch a sketch who I was, and pretty much right when I got out, divorce happened. So that was another frag in the hole. But I was able to begin to address the demons that I needed to address and get myself into a fighting position again. And when that happened, that experience alone is rough. I would consider that some little T trauma by itself, especially when there's kids involved. And when that happened, I moved back to my hometown, which was about an hour away, and the first thing I did I was like, hey, I need to find a gym, I need a workout. And there was a gym that just opened. My mom told me about it and I was like, yeah, let me go check it out. And went in there and met the owners, best friends with them to this day and yeah, it's just those little wins.
Speaker 2:And through going through the divorce, I was working a sales job. Through going through the divorce, I was working a sales job. I still needed to finish my bachelor's degree, because I started that between like 2016 and 2017. And I had a pretty significant gap in between that. I was like I need to finish this degree no matter what. So I was doing the sales job, I finished my bachelor's, which was small business management, which now in hindsight is great because I can apply that down the road. And then, as I was doing the sales job, finishing the degree, I heard about another veteran organization which is no longer in existence and I went out to California to be a part of that one and they talked a lot about the warrior cultures in society and how individuals throughout the cultures had different ways in which they healed. If it was like, let's say, the Native Americans, the indigenous people, using a sweat lodge and everyone in the tribe would tend to them for as long as they needed to. We talked about all those different things and how to apply that community aspect to today for us and others.
Speaker 2:And after that I started my master's degree in counseling for mental health and at that point, like my motivation for that one was through all of the experiences that I had in the service good, bad, indifferent from the falling on my own sword I guess that's the best way to describe that From all those experiences that I had, the amount of friends that I lost, not just overseas but by themselves, to suicide, I was like I've worked with a lot of shitty therapists before and a lot of people have, and a lot of people have and I don't say that to rip on the profession. I say that for the cultural competency of the military community, which is service members, veterans and their families, as well as competency working with trauma too, because trauma is not a fucked up Starbucks order but to some people it can dismantle their day, and I'm not here to judge that. But trauma is very specific. Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 2:I was like I want to start this path to give back to the community, to find a way to serve again, because I was not ready to get out of the service. I wanted to do 20 or die trying. I feel like a lot of people probably had that belief. During GWAT and as I was beginning the master's program, I got involved with another veteran organization which was like an actual veteran organization. The other one was more mental health focused. I got involved with Patrol Base Abate I don't know if you heard of that one.
Speaker 1:I have. Yeah, yeah, they're doing remarkable things in the veteran space for a while now. Yeah, shout out to those guys. I've been sending a lot of unsolicited emails and DM a while now. Yeah, shout out to those guys. I've been sending a lot of unsolicited emails and DMs their way, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and when I connected with Tom, I stood up the Chicago chapter because there was only four chapters at the time and through connecting with folks I ended up running the Midwest and then I ended up running overseeing not running overseeing the entire nation, all the chapters for the nation. No way country to have the opportunity to go out to a couple of the return to base programs out there in Montana. I was able to connect with a lot of different folks. I met a mental health provider that was out there, just as like external support for other things, and I was like, yeah, I need to intersect these two for sure, but me wanting to be a clinician serving the community, and eventually I stepped away because my academic tempo required it. Yeah, yeah, but yeah, I finished up with PB Abate and then I was able to do my clinical hours at the Road Home Program.
Speaker 1:Yeah, full circle, Nice Full circle moment. I fucking love those yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it was, and it was pretty phenomenal to receive and then provide.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's that's something that resonates with a lot of veterans. Shout out to you Gage, a good friend, stoke therapy. He's in the fight, he's currently in school. Remarkable human, human being, remarkable individual. And we have so many veterans out there.
Speaker 1:And the reason why it's important to advocate for this profession is advocating and advocating for things like doing your, you know, using your gi bill, using your veteran benefits, the vocational rehab benefits, going back to school. If you have a passion for learning, for understanding how you can get better because that's something that spoke to me, I dove into it because I wanted to know, I wanted to know more about it. If somebody is willing to sit down and get a degree in psychology and continue pushing forward, then I can do it too, and we have to advocate for this. Cultural competency is important. I have sat in front of other providers with pink and blue hair and tons of flash on their walls, supporting every different group and everybody, and the moment we start talking, it's like you spent a lot of time learning and understanding every wonderful representation of every varied human being out there.
Speaker 1:But you're working at a VA center, you're working with veterans and you can't talk to me or connect with me and bridge the divide Like how? How is it that we don't have that passion, that we don't have it? And when you sit in front of a veteran, somebody that's at least served, that knows the environment you're coming from, knows what you've done I don't care if it's a vietnam veteran or you know somebody that served in the marine corps or navy you have a common, common understanding and you immediately are able to dive into the the, the dance, into the rapport building and it it's easier. We need more veterans out there getting involved, because it's going to help, it's a net positive.
Speaker 2:I think it's also important to gracefully debate that statement too, in the sense that there's a lot of civilian clinicians that are phenomenal and I'm not saying that in like a defending them sense. I say that in the sense like, yes, I'm a veteran. I have learned so many different things from folks that served that I know diddly about beforehand. Yeah, because I've worked with, like you're going to have to explain to me what that job is, because I don't know what that means. And like, if I'm working with, if I'm working with someone from, like, the combat arms profession or someone that's deployed, like, yes, contact context building, it can be a lot quicker.
Speaker 2:However, what happened, what has come of that experience within yourself, if you know? And then, with that and like, with all the hoopla about, like ptsd, post-traumatic stress injury, whatever, based on what's going on, I might not understand diddly about you being a pilot in the coast, but I understand what depression is. I understand how you tried to cope with it, based on what you told me. So now let's conceptualize a patrol order to reach your objective.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah it does. It does go back to the person, the human being in there, but it definitely helps for a lot of people that I met. A lot of the guys are still really deeply connected to what they did and only feeling comfortable that ability to be vulnerable.
Speaker 2:Which I feel also like I respect that and understand that, but is that another sappy claim? Yeah, yeah, Like are you able to remove that before yourppy claim? Are you able to remove that before your back goes? That's the thing, because and I'm not saying that to challenge anybody but if you didn't serve and if you didn't fight, you weren't shit, and I'm not talking to you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's certainly something that I've seen in the echo echo chamber, the veteran echo chamber which is like you can't, we can't help you unless you're willing to just drop, drop a little bit of that, be willing to get in the room. But it certainly helps those individuals when they have that, that veteran face that welcomes them so say I I'm not going to take your shit, I've been there, let's talk. When you were going through your educational gauntlet, what kept you in the fight? Because it's not an easy road, it's not two years and you're done, it's a long haul. How did you stay motivated For one?
Speaker 2:I had this rational fear that I would never go back to a blue-collar job because of what happened. Just to be blunt, I was like man if this doesn't work out and I go back to a factory, that's it.
Speaker 1:I'm back. Spin up the monsters and coffee.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I had to remember my why. Yeah, during the service we do it for our brothers or sisters. For the downfall that I experienced, the why behind that was I'm dishonoring people and I'm a burden Going through school. There's too many people that are struggling by themselves. There's too many barriers to care and I want to start a ripple, even if it's transgenerational. And finishing my master's was only one of the steps. I have more steps. I'm going to build my proficiency and competency and my reach in different types of buckets that support the community.
Speaker 2:And I think the why is a very important factor for folks, and especially when it relates to the subject of the transition out and losing that sense of purpose, I feel that is a dagger unto itself if we don't take the time to shift our fires accordingly for it. And I, besides the mental health struggles when I look back on manufacturing that horrible, not the way I want to live my life, and a lot of us naturally have to attend to our priorities like financial security, things like that to walk into that kill zone of despair and unfulfillment if we don't. If we rest on our laurels of what we're doing or who we were and taking the time to ascertain what am I good at, how can I make a living, how can I serve again who's in my corner and how can I build upon. All of that, I feel, is something that all of us need to take time for some accountability for ourselves, because we're not just working a job or raising kids. We're living our life.
Speaker 2:My life comes before my kids. It has to in order to be there for them. My kids it has to in order to be there for them, and I need to show up as an entire person and not the shell that I once was. To have that purpose in my life, to be a role model with children, with clinical care, with this conversation, and that was something that the therapeutic space was able to assist with that sense of purpose, because I was always good at talking to people, even if I was cussing them out, and I loved helping people. I loved watching my Marines develop. I enjoyed developing myself through various stages in my life and me choosing to take the therapeutic approach for me. It lights me up more than when I was in the service, absolutely that's awesome.
Speaker 1:Hell yeah, now we mentioned a little bit like when we're struggling, we tend to shy away from the people, the service members that we we were with in our time in the military, just because we don't want to either relive or re-engage. Have you found yourself reaching back through the void and reconnecting now that you have tools and resources?
Speaker 2:For myself, I would say I connect with a handful of the guys that I served with four or five and I don't need that part of my life anymore. I do have my friends that I talk to Like. After our podcast today, I got a coffee date with one of my buddies who's on the West Coast. We talk every now and then to see what's going on. I have a lot of connection with the veteran community and the active community through the social media and my job and I feel it is important to diversify our social circles from who we served with the community. I think I have more civilian friends now than I do military friends, which is fine because I don't hang my hat on being a Marine anymore. I'm a dad, I'm a therapist, those things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's important to understand that your circle, your team room, it's broad on the outside. It has to incorporate everybody. It's many people you can get in there. It's not about just staying with the same platoon, same company, same detachment. It's it's growing understanding that it lives about living it with good people, not just people that you experienced your early twenties with in Iraq or Afghanistan. They're they're amazing individuals and bring them along as well. But expand that group. Bring in more people. It's going to enrich your life.
Speaker 1:I don't know where I would be if I didn't have the solid advice of some of my friends that never served, never spent a day in the military, and they're not only some of the more successful individuals that I know, but they're some of the best and more well-grounded individuals that are willing to dive in and reach out when I'm dealing with something, and they have some really good advice. So if you're listening and you don't have civilian friends, I mean shit. You're civilian now too, so understand that as well. But if you don't have friends that haven't served, reach out to them. Build that community.
Speaker 2:There's only the best selling If you don't know how to find civilian friends, because that's come up before. Figure out what you enjoy for a hobby number one. If it's anything to do with your body, don't consider that a hobby. No, this is tough love, but it's needed. I know a lot of dudes and dudettes that crush it in the gym absolute units. But if that shoulder goes or that leg goes, you're you're in it now.
Speaker 2:So what else can you do? Can you go for a walk? Can you rock climb? Can you get into something weird? Can you get into going to a speakeasy and learning how to do the spin dance from the fees? Can you get into candle making like people do stupid shit but they enjoy it. Photography, yeah, I love photography and that's the thing. And if you can find something that you enjoy, it's not you in your war room by yourself. If it's, let's say, it's rock climbing A lot of us do various physical things If it's rock climbing, find a climbing gym and then if you can build a schedule, because consistency is important in everything we do you'll see some of those same faces and then you can eventually strike up a conversation and I've got friends in some of the weirdest little ways in my life and they've provided me far more amazing insight than anyone that served. And we connected when we planted a seed on that one hobby, and then their crew, their relationship.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's important to branch out and try things. Like I. I was always so hesitant to try golf, but what I realized was golf is one of the greatest tools in networking. Yeah, and I found myself saying no a lot to golf invites, saying no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't play golf, I don't play golf, I don't play golf. Well, a long time ago I didn't do any of this and here I am doing it. So if you stop saying no and just start saying yes and start figuring it out here shameless plug sticks, golf clubs you can get a full set for under it under like 500 bucks. Great clubs Doesn't cost you that much. Check them out. I'm not going to give you a link because I don't have an affiliate link yet, but I'm telling you, give it a shot.
Speaker 1:I've looked back at my life and my professional life and within the last few years and I look at all the times I said no to a golf tournament it's over 50 times and all the people, all the big names, all the people that I would have loved to have had on the show Some of them were at these golf tournaments and I realized like Holy shit, I could have been rubbing elbows with somebody. That's like a big name that I would love to have had on the show. But I missed out on that and it was because somebody saw value in me to bring a hundred percent paid for. Like I've just been saying no to golf, but I've had enough. This episode is also brought to you by Precision Wellness Group. Getting your hormones optimized shouldn't be a difficult task, and Dr Taylor Bosley has changed the game. Head on over to PrecisionWellnessGroupcom.
Speaker 1:Enroll and become a patient today. It literally just takes you having enough of missed out opportunities. Maybe it's not golf, maybe it is rock climbing, maybe it's going out there and learning how to do uh, crafting, you know beer, that's a big popular thing. Stop saying no to life. Start saying yeah, I'll try it. Um, I gotta set off a golf lesson because I fly out for a tournament next week. There you go, there you go. I bought the clubs, have tons of the equipment arriving. Thank you to Amazon, but I've never actually played. So but I'm excited to be doing something new again.
Speaker 1:A beginner's mindset. We've had it for a long time. We didn't know it. It was just being that good guy in that team, being that good guy in the platoon, just being open and willing to try something new. And that can be said for a lot of things, especially therapy, and, on that note, there's a lot of modalities out there. There's a lot of things for us to try when we're trying to get better. What are some of the things that you are excited about or you've enjoyed learning about? Like EMDR, anything like that that you've seen in your journey that it's like man like this is really helpful.
Speaker 2:My first experience with EMDR was not good, but I experienced it later on. Emdr is it is beneficial. I don't I'm not trained in that one, but I know a lot of people have benefited from it. For myself and like what I do CPT, cognitive processing therapy and I know that one gets a lot of heat because sometimes people are like so you're telling clients that they're wrong. And the way I explain it, especially to my clients, is every experience we have is like going to the movie, theater, and the movie is the experience we attach meaning to what happens and a lot of the time, like for myself, when Avengers Infinity War came out, I was the smartest person on the planet and bought my ticket at the 11th hour and I got to sit in the very front far left seat Awesome. If I could have abdominals right here, I would have been shredded. But I say that because of CPT, we experience something let's go with ma and we form beliefs based off of what happened the coulda, shoulda, wouldas and when we do that, we are in that one seat, a1, up front. Through my conversations, through CPT, I don't invalidate what happened or those beliefs, but I shine the light on like hey, do you want to sit over there? Do you want to scoot one seat over? Is there another way we can look at this? Because CPT is very beneficial for trauma work.
Speaker 2:I do another one. It's called the Unified Protocol and it is. I use it with a lot of other issues depression, anxiety, things like that. The UP is very much focused on the emotions themselves and what they are made up of Our thoughts, our physical sensations and our behavioral urges. Because if you are angry, you get home, the kids trash the living room and you're pissed off. You probably want to cuss them out or go to your office, maybe Through the UP. It's like how can we identify those thoughts, those physical sensations and those behavioral urges and look at some alternative, alternate paths that you can take? Like can you challenge that automatic thought you had? Like, instead of getting pissed at the wife maybe she was busy or isn't feeling good or instead of of yelling at the kids, maybe you can turn it into a game? You're still going to be angry, but you're teaching yourself next time that, hey, I don't have to blow my lid.
Speaker 2:Dbt that's a very popular one. I've made a lot of posts through DBT. Skills Acceptance and commitment therapy that's another one. So I lead from the front with cpt and up. I do a lot of the other two.
Speaker 2:But my thing is for individuals that listen to this don't worry about that yet. Find somebody. Do a little speed dating. Spend a few sessions with a clinician. Make sure that they are being ethical in their work. They're not disclosing their life and all their issues. Identify some goals, because you need to know what you want to accomplish. I don't want to feel like shit. I want to improve my relationship. I don't want nightmares anymore. I want to live with the fact that Cole's no longer here. Whatever the case may be, come up with the goals, talk with them, build the report, plan out what the treatment can look like and go for it. And if you don't like it like I tell my clients all the time I steer the ship you row it. So, as we're going through this, if it's not chiving with you, if you don't feel like you're getting results, let me know. Like I'm here to support you with your goals. And if we need to shift, we can shift. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Awesome. Well, now that you're finally in the space it's taking a long time to get here what are you excited about? What's next in your life? What do you got brewing in the, on the back burner or the front burner?
Speaker 2:Well, I'm trying to grow my hair out and that's going to take some time. I'm trying to do some acceptance and commitment that I look like a floozy now, but whatever.
Speaker 1:No dude, you got to go full 1980s detective cop. You got to let it go at the top and grow out the sides. Got to own it, man.
Speaker 2:For me and my future. I'm really, really into cooking for a hobby because we nice sustain, so I'm going to be incorporating that into my social media and you're the first person I'm telling about it. Um, and it's going to be an integration between mental health, food and history of warrior cultures. Oh, wow, yeah so now it's public for the world. That's wild.
Speaker 1:Dude, that's wild, I like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, because it's like I enjoy history. When people come to my office, I always get the biggest eyes because I have a Greek helmet, a Roman helmet, a medieval helmet, a World War I helmet and a World War II helmet. I've got a bunch of rocks and crystals because Mercury's in retrograde, obviously. I got a statue of Alexander the Great, yeah, but people are always like why do you have all this stuff? And I was like, because everything we're about to talk about, be it combat, sexual assaults, it's been around since the beginning and, with my love of history as a whole, why not make a dish that Alexander the Great ate in a reel, talking about what they did for mental health and then tying it to what we do now?
Speaker 2:That's, people like cooking meals, cooking videos, and mental health is a tough subject. It's been hard for me to grow my page and so I want to do that. I'm trying to move closer to my job because my commute's pretty long. Eventually I'm going to go for my third and final degree a doctorate of some type, maybe clinical psychology, I'm thinking, maybe PhD in counseling, education and supervision. I'm thinking about getting a master's in anthropology, the study of people, culture and integrating that into mental health. Eventually, way down the road, maybe I would like to be a mobile shrink. Oh, travel, and I can't disclose anything about that right now, just because people are going to steal my idea if I say it.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no. Let's see we will not discuss that. Don't steal ideas, people, Come on.
Speaker 2:But no, I want to continue to build my competency. I would love to teach about mental health, either to aspiring clinicians or through the form of supervision. Continue to develop my tradecraft in this profession. Do what I can to fill a c-bet absolutely, man.
Speaker 1:I think you're doing a wonderful job and people people need to understand that social media can be a tool for good. It can certainly help break down that barrier and hesitancy to get help. I've noticed it. I never thought that a frigging page that was dedicated to just my goofy ass show and poop and cum jokes would have the impact it's had and helping people get to help.
Speaker 1:People always ask like dude, like you're, why do you continue doing it like you're? You're 330 episodes in and fucking. It's finally a decent thing, but come on, man, why do you keep doing this shit? I'm like, well, hey, I love it. And two, when you check the emails and there's people in there saying like, hey, man, I didn't even know this resource existed. I'm willing to do this. Or like, hey, thank you for talking about this. Like I feel like I'm finally being heard. That's powerful enough to keep doing it. Yeah, it will change your life for the better when you realize that just being a good human being helps other people out there. So you, you get this 24 7 now. People, I'll do it, continue doing it, because exactly you matter and I want more of you to stay in the fight yeah, yeah and that's.
Speaker 2:And that's what social media is. It's connectivity, it's, yeah, bettering your fellow human. That's why I run the kevlar therapist, because that's a page I wish I had years ago, because, god, I don't know what I would be doing right now and if I am able to provide resources, because I'm not going to work with anyone via social media. But I can provide resources for folks and I can provide quick educational things about disorders, emotions, whatever. To breach that subject for that tough bravado guy or gal that is too tough for therapy and it's like, wait, that actually that's me, nope, so so man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude, I can't thank you enough for making the time on this wonderful Sunday. Man, this is. It's been an amazing episode and one that I've been waiting to have for a while now, and I can't thank you enough for coming. Man, this has been amazing. Once again, please tell us where we can connect with you and check out your information and your wonderful reels.
Speaker 2:We can connect with you and check out your information and your wonderful reels. If you want to read about my psychoeducation content and be upfront for the cooking videos when they do come, my page is called the Kevlar therapist and there's periods in between those and that's it. Right now I don't have the bandwidth for YouTube yet or anything else Soon, though.
Speaker 1:someday soon, I hope, because that thing's going to go like wildfires, man, gangbusters. What about a book? You got a book coming out anytime soon.
Speaker 2:I actually wrote a rough draft of three different books, and they're not about me. They are about a Chicago veteran turned cop taking down the underbelly of this city. Get the fuck out of here. My story doesn't need it's own book, but this it's cool.
Speaker 1:You're going to judge this on me right as we're closing out.
Speaker 1:Damn it alright. Next need to have you come back for that. Yeah, this sounds awesome, dude. This has been a pleasure, brother.
Speaker 1:And a quick shout out to our sponsor, titan's Arms. Life's too short to sit on the sidelines. Get involved, get better, start feeling better. Go to the episode description right now. I'll wait, go ahead and pause. Click those links.
Speaker 1:Check out Titan's Arms today. Check out Tyler Heisey's page and do me one more favor. Head on over to Spotify, apple podcast. Leave us a review, a few comments, or use the new text. Check out Tyler Heisey's page and do me one more favor. Head on over to Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Leave us a review, a few comments, or use the new text-in feature from Spotify and send me a message about what you think about this show. Tell me you like Tyler, tell me you don't like my shirt, tell me that you need some more graphics, maybe some more new swag. Maybe wear one of my own shirts, or maybe you want to wear one of mine and go over.
Speaker 1:Security halt podcast. Oh yeah, security haltcom, not podcast. Yeah, pick up some new merch. I've got a new website coming out. Should be launched by the time you get this episode. If not, give me a couple more weeks. I'm just one man, folks. I'm just one man trying to do all of this. Tyler, thank you so much for being here today and to everybody listening. Thank you, guys. I truly appreciate it and we'll see you all next time. Until then, take care. Thanks, brother Boom. Securepodcast is proudly sponsored by Titan's Arms. Head over to the episode description and check out Titan's Arms today.
