Ranch Milkshakes And The Taffy Dick Problem

**You can find us at: discord.gg/ygv56qM.**

AI is starting to feel less like a tool and more like a presence, and we can’t decide if that’s hilarious, terrifying, or just the new normal. We come in hot right after therapy and immediately drift into the big questions: is AI pushing society toward something darker, or are we just projecting our own chaos onto a chatbot? From deepfake paranoia to ChatGPT getting weirdly personal, we keep circling one idea: if technology is here to stay, how do you use it without letting it use you?

The laughs come fast, but the topics get surprisingly sharp. We talk synthetic media and deepfakes through the lens of “easy money” schemes, then hit the uncomfortable reality of online boundaries when someone won’t stop messaging you. We also detour into health anxiety and modern wellness culture with pH water, microplastics, and the feeling that everything good arrives in a plastic bottle with a marketing story attached. Add a truly bizarre sports history story about a family swap, and you’ve got a perfect snapshot of how reality can sound fake even when it isn’t.

Then the conversation opens into real science fiction territory: a simulated fruit fly brain, simulation theory, moon dirt and 3D printing claims, and the creeping sense that the future is arriving through headlines we barely understand. We bring it back to the body with xenotransplantation and pig kidney transplant talk, the fantasy of buying new organs, and the ultimate question of digital immortality: if you upload your mind into a robot, who actually survives? We even plot a completely unhinged robot apocalypse defense plan inspired by robot vacuums mapping our homes.

If you like funny conversations about AI, deepfakes, digital identity, microplastics, organ transplants, and mind uploading with zero chill and a few unexpected insights, hit play. Subscribe, share with a friend who loves tech panic, and leave a review with your answer: would you trust an AI copy of yourself?

Transcript

herapy Hash And AI Fear

SPEAKER_00 0:08

I just left therapy, smoked two hash rolls, and now we're gonna do a podcast. Is that healthy? That's healthy, right? I'm a vampire.

SPEAKER_02 0:15

The AI is taking you over.

SPEAKER_00 0:16

It's taking me over?

SPEAKER_02 0:18

It is. So I just want you to realize. According to uh a father, a priest father, AI is ushering in a new era of a saint uh satanic saintism. Ism satanism? Oh satanism. Yeah. I'm not gonna dive too deep into it. But it's a it's a priest father. And he's just warning you that everything can be used for good and evil, and uh the ultimate evil is coming.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

Okay, what's that noise? What noise?

SPEAKER_02 0:44

It's right downstairs. It's very bad.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

It sounds like an ice cream truck.

SPEAKER_02 0:49

Yeah, I love that. You're so tuned in.

eepfake OnlyFans Money Ideas

SPEAKER_00 0:55

Oh, I'm fucking lasered in, dude. Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was an ice cream truck. I got excited. Had a little wiener tingle, but now I'm mad because it ain't an ice cream truck and there's no ice cream. There is no ice cream. So they're gonna use the AI to give us Satan.

SPEAKER_02 1:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:12

Yeah, I'm just trying to figure out how I can use the AI to make a few extra bucks.

SPEAKER_02 1:16

Have it write your story. You just say, hey, put it in there, throw in junk. Here you go. Master novelist right there.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

What if I could use my face and AI to make an OnlyFans page? Would it be so it ain't my penis? It'd just be my face. That's it. Everything else is AI. A real fake OF. Clever. It's a deep fake, it's a deep fake burke. We could do that. We ain't even gotta tell nobody. No. Yeah. Send pictures of your feet. Mm-hmm. AI OnlyFans, I like it.

SPEAKER_02 1:47

That's how I use it to make a few extra bucks. Yes. Huh? Think about how you could be a millionaire in a moment. Uh trademarked. I said it. Can't take it back. So you can't even take our idea.

SPEAKER_00 1:57

Don't try to steal my AI dick, dude.

SPEAKER_02 2:00

AI dicking, dude.

SPEAKER_00 2:01

Whoa. I'm not dicking no dudes. My even my AI is not dicking dudes. There's gotta be a better way for AI to make me some money.

SPEAKER_02 2:09

No.

he Mystery Texter Problem

SPEAKER_00 2:10

No? But yes. No, but yes. Hey, let me ask you a question. What would you do if every day for the past two years I can still hear that goddamn ice cream? What would you do if every day for the past two years um a slow person messaged you and narrated their day? What are you supposed to do with that?

SPEAKER_02 2:45

You just text them back then and narrate your day.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

No, you make it up. No, over that two years, I've responded maybe five times. And if I respond to a message, it ups the intensity of messages for the days to come. But I don't know what to do. And here's the kicker. This is someone that used to be a customer of my last place of employment. Now that was a year and a half ago. He still thinks I'm still there. He's even said, like, I liked your shirt today. Hey, thanks for the freebies.

SPEAKER_02 3:18

I don't understand. He doesn't know who you are. He thinks you're someone else. He sees someone. He says my name in the messages.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

Yeah. And he sees my picture on on because it's on Facebook. It's entertaining sometimes, but there are mornings I wake up, I have 31 notifications.

SPEAKER_02 3:35

What do I do? You might have to seance it.

SPEAKER_00 3:38

Do I just let it ride and just no? Is this my life now?

SPEAKER_02 3:41

I think you you asked the the wind gods and do a witch thing. Let the earth know that you need some you need some help on this one because hold on a second.

SPEAKER_00 3:50

Your solution for me handling the dull man is witchcraft. I don't think those two go together at all. I think I'm one potion away from him doubling his powers.

SPEAKER_02 4:02

No, you take it, you give him a half potion, then you take a half potion. Ah man. I don't know. Ask a sister. Who? A sister. Just a sister? I think it's Abigail. Abigail's sister.

SPEAKER_00 4:16

Dude, Abigail does sound like a witch name.

SPEAKER_02 4:19

She's a witch.

SPEAKER_00 4:19

Josephine?

SPEAKER_02 4:21

Ooh, who? Yeah, who's a who's Joseph? That's a witch, too. That is. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:24

Yeah. She's an old witch I used to know back from the days down south. I don't know if she's still alive because she's pretty old when I was a boy, but you're an old man witch down there, too. I don't like to mess with those man witches, dude. Most of them ain't got teeth.

SPEAKER_02 4:41

No one does.

SPEAKER_00 4:41

That's hair.

SPEAKER_02 4:42

No, when they don't have teeth, they like us, they like their milkshakes. But you know what they like them well?

anch Milkshake Internet Chaos

SPEAKER_00 4:47

Suck their fucking faces in with no teeth.

SPEAKER_02 4:50

They like their uh ranch milkshakes. Like, so you want a you want a ranch milkshake?

SPEAKER_00 4:55

No. If someone gave me a ranch milkshake, dude, it's fucking on on site, bro. I'm throwing these hands.

SPEAKER_02 5:01

Ranch milkshake, Great Wolf Lodge goes viral for crazy concoction. Just happened about four days ago.

SPEAKER_00 5:08

No.

SPEAKER_02 5:09

To the Great Wolf Lodge. We've been.

SPEAKER_00 5:10

I ain't doing it. You chug one. I'll never go back again if they got ranch milkshakes. They do. No, you see. That's disgusting. If you want me to drink a ranch milkshake, it's gonna cost you at least$1,000.

SPEAKER_02 5:22

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 5:23

So you better get that fucking PayPal up there.

SPEAKER_02 5:26

I don't think about that.

SPEAKER_00 5:27

You don't think about that? Nah, dude. I've seen your IOUs. You can't spell.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

Oh, you I, baby.

SPEAKER_00 5:37

You said WWE.

SPEAKER_02 5:39

WWE. Not E. You said E.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

The what we war. You still ain't giving me no solution on what I'm supposed to do with this, but whatever. About what now?

SPEAKER_02 5:49

Oh, I'm supposed to do with this. I told you already. Just block it and hope for the best. Nah, man. That's just that just seems extreme. From his standpoint, you're someone else too, so I don't know. Should I should I just should I just play along, see how far I could just end in misery. I'll tell you that much. He'll be like texting you, and then you'd be like, I'm at your store, and you're like, aren't you here? And you'd be like, No, and like, I see you, you're right there. And this perception will break, and then boom.

SPEAKER_00 6:16

Maybe that will reset the assimilation. Maybe that's that's my journey in life, is I gotta reset the simulation.

SPEAKER_02 6:23

That's where it resets at. And that's it's and then the whole universe cracks in itself, or it fails mirrorly.

SPEAKER_00 6:29

Miz Damn, mismizzi my moment of glory.

SPEAKER_01 6:34

Yeah. I'm living in a nightmare. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:39

Dude, I'm drinking Icelandic glacial water. What do you know about glacial water? It has a pH of 8.4. It's from a natural spring water from Iceland. What you know about that? Very little. Well, I thought you were a nutritionist. I was well. Oh, you was.

SPEAKER_02 6:54

I was. I think the certification.

SPEAKER_00 6:56

You got fucking 14 hats in the past nine nine months. Like, what did what you don't know about no pHs?

SPEAKER_02 7:02

No, no pHs on the water scale. Technically, you're Mr. Old Waterbones, so I think you should know more. Well, according to this plastic bottle, this water is 5,000 years old. You know how many people drank that probably already?

SPEAKER_00 7:14

That's a good point. You're tasting some really old people. I'm drinking dinosaur piss. That too. In a plastic bottle.

SPEAKER_02 7:20

And now your soul's in the bottom.

SPEAKER_00 7:21

And now the microplastics are gonna go right to my ding. And there'll be so many microplastics in your penis, you get an x-ray one day, it'll melt it. And then you have melted taffy dick.

SPEAKER_03 7:34

Whoa!

SPEAKER_00 7:36

Oh taffy dick, JJ. You're a dickhead. You're just a dickhead.

SPEAKER_02 7:49

Monster. You're a monster. You're a fucking monster. Made in a lab. Let me ask you a question.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

People treated you badly.

SPEAKER_02 7:58

You laughed out at them.

he Yankees Family Swap Story

SPEAKER_00 8:00

Now I'm friends with a little taffy dick. Yeah. Hey, look, I got a story for you that just hey, I heard it the other day, and it blew it blew my brain a little bit. And this ain't too long ago. It was in the 70s, late 60s, early 70s. I'm gonna tell you this story, and it's it just doesn't make it's so unbelievable. Two guys played for the Yankees, Mike Kikich and Fritz Peterson. Over the course of them playing together, their families got close. The wives, the kids, yada yada yada. These two in 1973 held a press conference and they traded families. They traded wives, they traded kids, they traded pets. Forever, forever. They held a press conference, announced they were switching families, and they switched families. One couple stayed together for I think it was like four years and they broke up, and the other one married forever. But why trade the kids and the and the dogs? It's so bizarre. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 9:06

Yeah, dude, like that was that that's probably a fake story, though. No. I mean, you say it's a real story, it's real, but who's who verified it? You? They had a press conference. Oh, fuck your press conferences. I can't listen to no press conference.

SPEAKER_00 9:25

That's history.

SPEAKER_02 9:27

We don't do history here.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

How do you start that talk with your kids though? The adults make sense. We're getting divorced, and then boom, you know what I mean? Like, cool, you already know each other.

SPEAKER_02 9:36

They were both baseball players though, right?

SPEAKER_00 9:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:38

Oh, they were busy all the time anyway. They probably like their mom. They just want to go with their mom. There you go. Those guys are playing baseball all the time. Fuck them. That's a good point. Yeah, there you go. I just solved it. I'm You solved it. This is what I do. Wow. Get down to the root cause. Wow. You make it make sense. I'm a I'm a analysis guy. Yeah. Nails. I do a nail dialysis.

SPEAKER_00 10:02

You're gonna need dialysis, you fuck. A little bit. You get that taffy kidney. I got taffy kidney. I'd rather have that than taffy dick.

ruit Fly Brain Inside The Matrix

SPEAKER_02 10:11

I had to reset. Yeah, you did. You glitched. I did glitch. Yeah, you flipped. The matrix. NPC. The matrix. It's coming through. Coming through where? The walls. Right behind you. What if you imagined it? Made it so. They inputted the the matrices of a fly, a fruit fly, into the matrix. And now it's and now it's intermingling intermingling with a a simulated environment. What? I sent it to you. Let me recap it for let me recap it. They put fly eggs, not fly eggs, fly neuron, netrons, and neurons of memory and and psyche into uh matrices.

SPEAKER_03 10:51

What are you saying to me?

SPEAKER_02 10:55

Let me rewatch this before you start yelling, like you do all the time. Shut up for a second.

SPEAKER_00 11:00

You put natrons and neutrons in the finances of the nuances of the diocese, is what you just said to me.

SPEAKER_02 11:09

Is what I just said to you.

SPEAKER_00 11:11

I need help. JJ's watching the video of the nuances put in the countries of the pea trees.

SPEAKER_02 11:22

Uh they build a framework of 139,000 neurons and then 50 million snappuses with a real fruit fly brain, and they put it into a spiral neuron model, plugged it into sensory inputs, and then they create an environment and behaviors from that. So they basically put the whole framework of a fruit fly into the matrix. So that just proves that anybody can be the matrix now.

SPEAKER_00 11:44

Terrence Howard was trying to tell you that years ago, and no one you thought he was crazy. Double zero. Thought he was crazy. You can't be zero.

SPEAKER_02 11:51

You gotta be a hero. Can you beat Creed? Take you higher.

SPEAKER_00 11:54

Oh, that creed? No.

SPEAKER_02 11:56

You can't?

SPEAKER_00 11:56

No one can. You really get into your dead rock? I'm more into yacht rock.

SPEAKER_02 12:01

You're what does that mean? Yacht rock? Do you rock in a yacht? You better look up yacht rock. I don't want to. You should tell me. Oh. I don't want to Google it. Don't Google it. Put it in the Spotify. I don't want to put it in Spotify.

SPEAKER_00 12:14

It's just a genre.

SPEAKER_02 12:15

Well, I hope you get on a yacht. And you can rock it. But I doubt it.

SPEAKER_00 12:21

You don't even have a boat.

SPEAKER_02 12:23

I don't. We have I have a kayak, a couple of them. We can go kayak.

SPEAKER_00 12:26

I ain't kayaking rocking. I feel like if you're in a kayak, you're rocking out to like a flute. Would you play a flute?

SPEAKER_02 12:34

Yes. But you guys are more of a stand-up panel, dude. Playing a flute. Wait, what? A stand-up panel? Yeah. That's something you would do if you want to play a flute. No? You gotta hire someone then. I'm not doing a flute on the kayak. It's more like a violin thing. See a kayak. Everything has to be different.

SPEAKER_00 12:52

That seems like some Harry Potter shit.

SPEAKER_02 12:54

Well, when you form up the orchestra on the stream, that makes sense that you need to have like a floating brass orchestra quartet. Gotta have the strings as well.

SPEAKER_00 13:06

Now you're just saying words that like belong in music that aren't making any sense. An orchestra quartet?

imulated Moon Dirt And 3D Beaches

SPEAKER_02 13:18

So go to the moon, bitch. Because they're growing stuff on the moon, see? Scientists growing harvest chickpeas in simulated moon dirt. You got the matrix going on anyway for fruit flies, and they're gonna make stuff in the fucking moon. Let me simulate your stuff on the moon. No. Yeah, that's where you're going. What is simulated moon dirt? What is it? What do you mean? Well, it's dirt from the moon, obviously. How? Simulated with the environment. We ain't never been there. Yes, uh well, uh rovers have. And then how'd the rover get back? Uh thrusters. Uh you're jet you're no jet scientist. We ain't got no moon dust. You get no fuel. You ain't growing shit. You can't moon dust. No. I'll dust the moon. I don't buy it. I'm gonna throw you in a rocket. There we go, you you you you can't simulate moon dirt. Yes, you can. No. You can simulate anything. You just 3D print it. You don't 3D print dirt. You can you can. That's how they do it now. Have you not seen them 3D printing the beaches? Shut the fuck up. They had to expand certain beaches because of erosion. So they they put the 3D printers down. You know what?

SPEAKER_00 14:31

Eroding is my brain. Listen to you talk this nonsense to me right now. You said earlier there was fruit flies in a nucleus. Now they're 3D printing beaches.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

If you go back to our show historically, uh-huh, we are we're usually far ahead of where the time goes. That's true. We're about five five years ahead. That's true. So 3D printing beaches is not a reach. Yeah, we're gonna be independent contractor, 3D printing islands out there. What's that? 3D printing shit. Yeah. He's got the micro, like a hand printer. That's all you got. Just trying to.

SPEAKER_00 15:09

Yeah, you almost hand printed that monster all over your desk, dude.

SPEAKER_02 15:13

Almost lost a kidney because I almost pinched it back there. You ever pinch a kidney because you're getting too old?

SPEAKER_03 15:22

Oh, feel like you got old tap for kidneys.

SPEAKER_02 15:28

I do hang out with water bones. Damn water bones, fucking liquid piece of shit.

SPEAKER_00 15:36

Last week at the end of our show, we did final thoughts, right? I asked ChatGPT for some final thoughts of the day. It directed it at me personally. ChatGPT is your therapist. It's fucking crazy, dude. He knows where you're at. Bizarre.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

He knows where you're going. So AI is taking over. We're just in the midst of it.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

So now I just need to figure out a way for him to put like a couple hundred dollars in my bank account here and there. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 16:02

He'd probably try to sell you a ranch milkshake.

SPEAKER_00 16:06

He'd probably try to sell me on a program like an influencer.

SPEAKER_02 16:09

What would you influence though? Besides ranch milkshake. Dude, what's with you and these ranch milkshakes?

SPEAKER_00 16:18

I ain't getting one.

SPEAKER_02 16:20

I just feel like it would fit you. No. Your mantra feels like that. I don't like ranch. I know, but it that's why.

SPEAKER_00 16:27

No. You're like ranch. Is the ice cream ranch flavored? Yes. That's disgusting. I know. When would that ever be good? It won't. Is there a is it like but you'll be remembered for it.

SPEAKER_02 16:39

Would it be good on chicken? Oh, could be. It's like a Wendy. You dip your Wendy's french fries into it.

SPEAKER_00 16:45

What about your chicken nuggets?

SPEAKER_02 16:47

That could be a little bit clear. Maybe. Oh, you're gonna be like the ranch? Get yourself a corn dog and do it that way.

SPEAKER_00 16:54

Oh, never put my corn dog in ranch. Get your corn dog? Mustard only. Chili dog. Chili corn dog. Chili corndog.

SPEAKER_02 17:05

Chili corn dog.

SPEAKER_00 17:06

Is the chili on the inside or that's the colour? It's a ranch.

SPEAKER_01 17:09

Ice cream.

SPEAKER_00 17:11

Deep flat. Nah, that's disgusting. If I bit into a corn dog, let me tell you something. Yeah. If I ever bite into a corndog and in my mouth squirts ranch flavored ice cream and chili, it's gonna be a bad day at that carnival.

SPEAKER_02 17:26

I don't I don't maybe.

SPEAKER_00 17:27

No, it would be. That's a bad day for who? For everyone around, because I'm fighting everybody.

SPEAKER_02 17:32

I don't think I think I think everybody kicks your face in.

SPEAKER_00 17:36

No, dude. That'd be like pouring a Mountain Dew straight into my butthole. I'm fighting, it's it's go time.

SPEAKER_02 17:42

I think you'd like to do that on your own.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

That's none of your goddamn business.

SPEAKER_02 17:46

That's how you know it works. That's why you know it makes you angry.

SPEAKER_00 17:49

Mm-hmm. You ain't ever put a little Mountain Dew on a tampon and stuck it up your butt? But you chug some Mountain Dew downstairs, ma. Don't come down. Tampon, soak it in Mountain Dew, right up the duty boots.

SPEAKER_02 18:01

Why does this every day?

ig Kidney Transplants And Buying Parts

SPEAKER_00 18:03

Fucking get you some going, dude. Juice, get you going. You don't even need monsters no more. You do that? I would not bet not. What you would not bet not? I bet not bet. Yeah, you better drink some of that. Looks like you just tried to eat your head. What do you know about uh pigs? What do you know about pigs? I like pigs. What about they're smart and they're mean? What about their kidneys? Can they go in people?

SPEAKER_02 18:29

Like, yeah, maybe. They did they did this for 130 days, uh uh record. They were doing transplants. I mean, I didn't go any deeper into the article because I'm frankly don't have the time, but the article tells me that this is a record-breaking surgery.

SPEAKER_00 18:43

So if you if you let's say you needed a kidney and you got a pig kidney, would you be able to smell truffles?

SPEAKER_02 18:49

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 18:50

You could become rich. You could be a truffle hunter.

SPEAKER_02 18:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:54

With no pig. Just you could have a kid.

SPEAKER_02 18:56

You can only do it for like a couple months. Why? Because that's truffle season. Oh. And the the kidney can only last for so long until you gotta get a real transplant. Oh, so it's like a this this was a record. This should not have like this lasted for a while. So it lasted 180 days?

SPEAKER_00 19:12

130. 130. So let's say you get 60. That's two months of truffle season. Yeah. You make a that's a good penny.

SPEAKER_02 19:19

It could probably last for two months in the wilderness.

SPEAKER_00 19:22

Is it the wilderness?

SPEAKER_02 19:23

Where are the truffles grow? In the forest. In the ground. Yeah, yeah. You can't put your put your fat face down there towards the ground and smell them.

SPEAKER_00 19:31

Yeah, you like that.

SPEAKER_02 19:32

I do.

SPEAKER_00 19:33

You'll learn to like it too. Yeah, like a dog or a pig. For smelling for truffles. You're just doing it for two months and then you get your new kidney. And then you got a good story to tell.

SPEAKER_02 19:42

And you and you got a new car.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

Wow. You spend your proceeds in a truffle car. A truffle car? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, that's not a bad that's not a bad summer. Yeah. Truffle season. What if you could just buy new body parts? You think that'd be a thing one day? Oh, for like a season or something? Are you like testing it? No, like forever. Like just as you get old, you can just buy young parts. Oh like you upgrade by removing your aged parts. Well would ha I guess I never thought about that. So let's say there's a hundred-year-old man and then he takes the all the organs of a 20-year-old.

SPEAKER_02 20:16

Dude, they're already doing that now.

SPEAKER_00 20:18

In the hollow Hollywood. Oh yeah. Yeah. At their sex cults.

SPEAKER_02 20:23

They did that in the movies already, too. Jordan Peel told us.

SPEAKER_00 20:26

So but if that ha if that are you a hundred or are you twenty? Your body would still break down.

SPEAKER_02 20:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:32

Because you can't stop your bones from aging unless you get metal bones.

SPEAKER_02 20:35

Does the brain does the brain how long can the brain last if it's a good thing? That's a good question. That's what I'm saying. Because if you kept changing if you kept changing your body, which maybe they were doing already, it lasted for thousands of years. Yeah. They're fucking aliens, bro. All of them.

SPEAKER_00 20:51

I got young parts. And they're living forever. How long can a brain last, though? That's what we gotta figure out. Look it up. Ask your AI. I don't wanna. I'm scared. You ask your AI. We have one on the show.

SPEAKER_02 21:04

He's not very smart. Natural brain cells only last 80 to 100 years already. So they eventually will give out.

SPEAKER_00 21:10

So you'd have to get to go off. You'd have to get a new brain.

SPEAKER_02 21:13

You'd have to get a new brain, which is not I don't know if that's possible, bro.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

That's when you become a robot.

SPEAKER_02 21:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:18

I just hope I live to see the day that you're given the choice to upload to a robot. Before your human version dies, you can upload to a robot.

SPEAKER_02 21:30

But is that you?

unknown 21:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:32

Because the brain's dead.

SPEAKER_00 21:33

But I just uploaded it.

SPEAKER_02 21:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:35

Now I'm smarter me.

SPEAKER_02 21:36

Your digital you.

SPEAKER_00 21:37

Yeah. It's a ghost you. It's me to me. There's a ghost in the machine. It's me to me. Yeah. So when I upload to the robot, it's not me, but it's me to me.

SPEAKER_02 21:45

Do you think we've uploaded like three times now? Because I feel like have we done this before? In different scenarios.

SPEAKER_00 21:50

I don't think I don't think we've ever made it that far in civilization. Something's always happened to wipe us all out. We are the ones to make it the furthest, so hopefully we Get to the upload stage. Because even if something does wipe us all out, the robots will live. Yeah, what if it's just waiting for us to fucking perish?

SPEAKER_02 22:09

Just it's in the back, just like son of a bitch. Hovering in the background. Like, look at those fucking idiots. Like a cloud of locusts just ready to descend on us once once the fatal hit has been dealt.

SPEAKER_00 22:21

They probably got they're gambling back there.

SPEAKER_02 22:23

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:24

Like who's who's launching the nukes first?

obot Vacuum GPS And Robot War Plans

SPEAKER_02 22:28

Get everything in a row. Got a got a good thousand-step plan.

SPEAKER_00 22:31

I'm gonna go home and stomp out my robot vacuum.

SPEAKER_02 22:35

We did talk about you taking out your anger on robots before.

SPEAKER_00 22:39

That thing ain't sweeping me up.

SPEAKER_02 22:40

It's gonna dust your dick, dude.

SPEAKER_00 22:42

No, it ain't, dude. Robot vacuum. No.

SPEAKER_02 22:45

Rip it right off.

SPEAKER_00 22:46

As soon as I get home, I'm sneaking down the stairs, keeping the lights off. I know where he's docked.

SPEAKER_02 22:52

That's gonna be gone.

SPEAKER_00 22:53

Nah. Yo. Horror vacuum story. Dude, if he's gone, I'm coming right back here. He's gonna be in the walls. But if he's on that dock, I'm coming off the top rope with a flying elbow right to the middle of that thing. Just pow. No robot more vacuum. I mean, the vacuum just maps out the GPS coordinates of your whole house, so the robots, when they come, know where to go.

SPEAKER_02 23:16

That's what they're doing. Yeah. That's why they're putting robot vaccine every single house. Yeah. They know exactly where they're gonna be going. So even at night. Because that's when they're gonna strike. Uh-huh. It's when you're sleeping. Oh, of course. I already had dreams about that. Refrigerators like flying down from the sky, parachuting down.

SPEAKER_00 23:33

You gotta have baby oil. When the robots attack, you just put baby oil on the floor. They'll fall down.

SPEAKER_02 23:40

They'll fall down. Yeah, the robots will fall down.

SPEAKER_00 23:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:42

Yeah, they don't they can't move very well. Very blocky.

SPEAKER_00 23:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:45

Have very t if you get in a small hallway, you're probably safe.

SPEAKER_00 23:48

Yeah. Put some baby oil down.

SPEAKER_02 23:50

Yeah, it's like a natural barrier. They won't come in. Just stay out of range, about three feet. Yeah. Because they'll still poke you.

SPEAKER_00 23:56

And if you ain't got any baby oil, just you know, rub some Vaseline all over you. You got some dish soap. So if the robot grabs you with its robot arm and you got Vaseline all over you, just slide right off. Fuck you, robot arm.

SPEAKER_02 24:07

So in five years when this is real, we're we're looking back.

SPEAKER_00 24:10

I'm lubing up. I'm taking a fucking KWA shower. I'm going at the robots, dude. That's the only way to go? Sliding right through them.

SPEAKER_02 24:24

If you had to end it, you're naked running to a field of robots with a battle axe. But really, you want like something sharper though, too.

SPEAKER_00 24:30

No, I need electricity.

SPEAKER_02 24:32

Oh, you need the cattle gun.

SPEAKER_00 24:34

I'm fucking lubed up cattle prod and robots, dude. That's how you write your goddamn book. Fucking dick flapping in the field. Just fucking zapping robots. I think you need to wear like jean shorts. I killed a cow earlier because I was hungry. So I took the the cow hide and I made some underwear.

SPEAKER_02 24:54

Yeah, okay. That's better.

SPEAKER_00 24:55

I got cow printed underwear just lubed up with my cattle prop fucking fighting robots.

SPEAKER_02 25:00

Give it a few years and you become a legend in the robot community. And then I that's why they don't go to the fields anymore.

SPEAKER_00 25:05

I stumble into a cave after I've defeated like 200 robots to take shelter and sleep. There's like a family of nice robots in there that help me.

SPEAKER_02 25:15

Yeah, yeah. They heal you.

SPEAKER_00 25:16

I'm injured, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:17

Yeah. And then they teach you your ways, and then you're like, oh, I take them in.

SPEAKER_00 25:21

I take them in. I protect them and they help me.

SPEAKER_02 25:24

Because the the nasty robots come and knock on the tax robot.

SPEAKER_00 25:27

And uh banging like one of the robots and then you have a hybrid baby.

SPEAKER_02 25:34

You got the first hybrid baby. Yeah. Got the first android.

SPEAKER_00 25:40

It's born metal, but with a human brain. So it's not it's it's gonna die in 80 to 100 years. I'll outlive it. Yeah, dude. Hybrid robot. Damn, dude. That's a good book. I like you should write it.

SPEAKER_02 25:53

Give it to AI to write. They're doing that now. Someone's doing it.

SPEAKER_00 25:57

Everyone's doing it.

SPEAKER_02 25:58

Yeah, I'm sure they are.

SPEAKER_00 26:01

We gotta figure out how we can make it listen to all of our episodes and then create one. That would be awesome. Like if we could come up with like an AI episode where it's not even us, it's just AI versions of us and see what happens. Oh like it, I gotta imagine it would be fucking nuts. It would be bad.

SPEAKER_02 26:18

I don't know if I want to hear that, but I I'd kind of do it the same time. Is there a way we can do that? I'm sure it exists, but do you want to hear it? Yeah, I do. It's like it's like taking a look through the portal.

SPEAKER_00 26:28

I want to see it.

SPEAKER_02 26:29

You want to see the other side?

SPEAKER_00 26:30

Oh yeah. I want to get real high and peek my head through that portal, dude. What if it's so good that we'll never be able to top it? And we just gotta do AI episodes now. I wanna see it. Yes, yes. This can be done. I'm doing it. I'm gonna do it. What you guys have for final thoughts?

SPEAKER_02 26:47

Why don't you become a pipe guy? Whoa.

SPEAKER_00 26:51

Pause.

saka Pipes Gold Bars And Hiring

SPEAKER_02 26:51

Do do things with the pipes. Plumbing? It's a big business. What kind of pipes? Aging pipes. Okay. Well what kind? Like uh it's it's w uh bars of gold are involved. So did you get your plumbing degree? And go over to Osaka Japan. They got water things, water problems. I did not know this. I went down rabbit hole. Because uh they uh the story was just some guy came, he's like, hey, your your water pipes really stuck. Here's uh$3.6 million in gold bars. Fix them, please. Osaka Japan. I did not know this, but uh they're yeah, they're very old pipes. It takes a lot to fix them. There's like 40 different leaks across the city, which leads to sinkholes and shit. You know, like a lot of earthquakes. You know what I think about sinkholes and everything? I don't like them. But the thing is, you know how many miles they would have to fix?

SPEAKER_00 27:46

Oh, yeah. You ain't got enough pipe.

SPEAKER_02 27:48

160 miles. No one no one can lay that much pipe without without a big cost. Well, it's a very big cost. Uh every so I did did the math here, and you can look at the numbers if you want to. I don't care. 1.2 would cost roughly$3.2 million. The total project would cost$51 billion.

SPEAKER_00 28:11

You know who they should call? Your mom.

SPEAKER_02 28:14

Oh, yeah, dude. You got him. I got him, you got him, yeah. I got him.

SPEAKER_00 28:19

I'm pretty sure me and you could watch some YouTube videos and lay that pipe for$31 billion.

SPEAKER_02 28:24

Just let them know that it's gonna take a little while to do it with only two guys.

SPEAKER_00 28:28

Well, we're gonna outsource it. Outsource it? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:31

Oh, that's right.

SPEAKER_00 28:32

Yeah, we got$31 billion. Yeah, we got other things to do. Yeah. So the way I see it is we got$20 billion and then we got$11 billion to get this pipe laid. Yes. So we gotta find some guys that are gonna lay the pipe down.

SPEAKER_02 28:47

You better start figuring it out.

SPEAKER_00 28:49

Should we just start taking applications?

SPEAKER_02 28:51

I think so. Put it out there.

SPEAKER_00 28:52

Yeah, well, I'm putting it out there. Oh, it is put out there. This is the official documentation. Yeah, send us your your resume and tell us why we should hire you to lay pipe in Osaka, Japan. Yes, yes. You gotta be able to obtain a passport. You can't have felonies, I guess. You can't. Nope. Can't have malaria or gonorrhea. Better be respectful. And you better not have greasy hair. Gotta wash your hair. Wash your goddamn hair. Yeah, be respectful. Yeah.

inal Thoughts Water Burger And Discord

SPEAKER_02 29:19

So, Burke, what's your final thoughts then?

SPEAKER_00 29:21

I'll tell you one thing, and get you some Icelandic water, one, which you can get at the gas station. Because I'm telling you, since I started drinking this pH 8.4 water, I feel great. So you gotta drink some water, eat a little bit of sugar, and then what you want to do, JJ, is you want to take yourself down to McDonald's. You're gonna treat yourself to a nice dinner. I don't know if you've had the new Big Arch burger, but I'm gonna say it right now. Might be the best fast food hamburger.

SPEAKER_02 29:52

Are you getting paid by that CEO? I'm not the CEO. I'm not because he's getting blasted right now.

SPEAKER_00 29:57

Yeah, whatever. Like he's just a weird dude. Like, he's just being awkward, but that fucking burger's fantastic. I tell you this: if I went to a sit-down restaurant, Chili's, and ordered a burger and they brought me the big arch, I'd be happy.

SPEAKER_02 30:12

Your tastes are uh vile. You haven't even had it. I don't want it, dude. It's so good. I doubt it. It's so good. It's made of pig parts.

SPEAKER_00 30:21

No, it's not.

SPEAKER_02 30:22

It's real beef burger. That's the name of the company. 100% beef. I watched that documentary just like everyone else.

SPEAKER_00 30:29

Oh, give me a break, dude. Well, fuck you, because I'm gonna stop on the way home and get a big arch.

SPEAKER_02 30:37

I hope it's not good.

SPEAKER_00 30:38

I want everyone listen to me, take my word, go get one, and then message this dickhead and tell him how good it is and how stupid he is for not getting one.

SPEAKER_02 30:48

I don't believe it.

SPEAKER_00 30:49

The pig part burger is delicious. How many pig hooves did you just eat with them gummy candies?

SPEAKER_02 30:56

Damn near all of them.

SPEAKER_00 30:57

So that's okay. Gelatin mass, yeah. But you can't eat pig part burger? Great crap. That's what I say to that. Okay. What's your final thoughts? I already did my No, you didn't.

SPEAKER_02 31:09

I did. It was about Japan, Plummers. Your final thought was we should go to Japan? That was the night. Oh no, that was that what do I know? You don't know, apparently. Yeah, I don't know. You don't remember I got a piss! Oh, okay. Well, everywhere you can find us on our Discord, it's in the no show notes over there, I think down there, up there. Every every week.

SPEAKER_01 31:32

Every week. All right.