The Deuce Bird Business Plan

**You can find us at: discord.gg/ygv56qM.**

The quickest way to understand Stone of Babble is to watch a normal thought get demolished by curiosity. We start with a deceptively simple argument about pears: what they look like, what they’re “made from,” and why eating fruit skins feels either lawful or unhinged. Within minutes, the conversation turns into a loud little study of how humans invent rules, build narratives from vibes, and defend their preferences like they’re facts.

From there, we pour one out for Chuck Norris and relive the strange grip Walker, Texas Ranger can have on your childhood memory. That nostalgia becomes a launchpad for bigger questions: if the alphabet is “in order” because we were told it is, what other systems do we accept without proof? We tumble into time dilation, the speed of light, aliens, and the uncomfortable logic of changing the future by visiting the past. Then a real-world antimatter headline hits, and suddenly we’re pitching a blockbuster plot that somehow makes total sense in the moment.

The back half gets even weirder and more grounded at the same time: “glitter lung,” particle exposure, robot crime stories, and the looming fear that AI will demand resources we can’t spare. We sketch our 2030 survival plan with duck and goose farming, the invention of a hybrid “deuce,” and a half-serious belief that water wars are closer than people think, especially around the Great Lakes. We cap it all with fast food takes, Domino’s devotion, and a closing poem that seals the vibe.

If you like comedy podcasts, improvised conversation, pop culture riffs, AI anxiety, sci-fi speculation, and dumb arguments that accidentally reveal something true, hit play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who loves chaos, and leave a review with your most unhinged 2030 prediction.

Transcript

Welcome To The Chaos

SPEAKER_05 0:03

Welcome to Stone of Babel. No plan, no script, just a couple high takes. Half baked dogs and questionable debates. One minute deep. Next minute dumb. How we get here, we forgot what we're doing.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

What two fruits fuck to make a pear? Riddle me that. Nothing had to fuck a pair. What? What two fruits fuck to make a pear? They didn't. Fruits had to do this.

SPEAKER_02 0:42

No, they didn't. Yeah, because you don't know the genealogy of a pear.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

Like I said earlier, I ain't seen the in the guts of a pear in 30 years. But to me, what it appears is the apple and a peach got together and that came out.

SPEAKER_02 0:59

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 0:59

I don't know. Because it kind of looks slimy like a peach, but it appears to be an apple. It does. I'm telling you from my point of view, peaches and apples had relations and made pears. That even makes sense. Where'd pears? Where did they come from? Pears. Yeah. Pears. Pears. Peas, peaches, peas and airs. They're heirs to the pears. I'm out here connecting dots, JJ, in life right now. So I'm trying to figure out where everything's coming from. Exactly. But where they're going. I don't care where pears are going because I don't like them. You don't. You don't pears. What if they went somewhere though? Send them away. Even the skin. Look at the skin. Oh, you eat the skin too? You fucking animal, man. You fucking animal. I'm 43 years old and I still won't eat the outside of an apple. It sounds like you just don't get it. Give me the guts of the apple only. No. No of the outsides. That's uh I ain't chewing on the skin of an apple. I ain't criminal. I want the juicy insides. There are charges pending for that. Is there? Yeah. For what? You can't you can't eat the whole apple. No. People will say things. Nope.

SPEAKER_02 2:06

They talk. I hope they do.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

They talk in the back alleys in the streets. And you'll be the weirdos eating the skin of the apple. You got to. It's lawful. That's where all the pesticides are. No, it's not. You wash them off. Nah, you don't wash them off. You wash them off. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You just take them to the cleaners. Uh-uh. You're good. What are you bleaching them?

SPEAKER_02 2:27

Yeah. Oh, so you're eating the bleach. You clean the bleach off. There's cleaners for the cleaners.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

Mm-mm. A little bit always soaks in. I ain't eating no fruit skins. None.

SPEAKER_02 2:35

And you're a fresh hell then. You've been forced-fed fruit skins.

SPEAKER_01 2:39

Yeah. Hell to me is I got I'm in hell with only fruit and no knives. I gotta fucking gnaw off the skin with my teeth and spit it out. Now you can eat those. Uh yeah, you should be cum. Did you just tell me to eat bee cum? The fuck is wrong with you, you drunk bastard? I'll tell you what's not wrong with me.

Chuck Norris Tribute And Nostalgia

SPEAKER_02 2:59

I want to play a tribute.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

Okay. It's tribute time.

SPEAKER_04 3:02

Yeah, we need to. The unsuspecting stranger had better know the truth of wrong right. When you're in Texas left behind you.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

Cause that's where the rangers are gonna be. Rest in peace, Chuck Norris.

SPEAKER_01 3:31

RIP. That was my show. Oh bro, I can remember I would watch that show because it came on, I think, Friday nights, was it? Yeah, I mean, I just remember like being at my grandparents' house because my uncle and my grandpa loved that show. Dude, I've seen every episode. That's where I fell in love with Dodge Trucks. That's where because he had that fucking Dodge Ram, dude. That's also where it took place about one of your favorite episodes. About about the greatest line ever, dude. What's the kid's name? Haley Joe Osmond. He was in the episode, and at the end of the episode, the sheriff walks up and he's I forget what he says, but Haley Joe Osmond says, It's all right. Walker told me I had AIDS. Oh yeah, dude. It's like the wildest thing to have a kid saying I'm pretty sure he made that up on the spot. You think that little kid ad-libbed that?

SPEAKER_02 4:20

He adlibed that. His whole career was defined in that moment.

SPEAKER_01 4:23

I don't know how if that was ad-libbed, they all didn't just die laughing. If that would have been me, I would have been like, cut. I heard a rumor one time that Chuck Norris didn't eat fruit skins either. So maybe that's where he was getting his power from, dude.

SPEAKER_02 4:36

Huh? Where'd you hear that from? Don't worry about it. I have to worry about it now. Like a made-up rumors, you piece of shit.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

You have another Texas Ranger. Like when someone says Chuck Norris to you, is he Walker, Texas Ranger?

SPEAKER_02 4:48

Kinda is. I was trying to recite what I remember him in the most. He's Walker, man.

SPEAKER_01 4:53

I was a kid. Like I didn't know him, the old stuff.

SPEAKER_02 4:56

In like the 70s, 80s.

SPEAKER_01 4:57

Yeah, when he did like the martial art movies. Like, I didn't see those. That was before my time. Yeah. And then number two thing I would know him from would be the BoFlex commercial with Christy Brinkley.

SPEAKER_02 5:06

Oh yes.

SPEAKER_01 5:08

Was it Bo Flex? It was Bo Flex. Yeah, he did the Christy Brinkley commercial. I did see that he did make one more movie. Did you see that? I just read an article about it. It's like a spoof on all of the actors around Chuck Norris's time, and he's playing into his meme. That's all it said in the movie. So he has one more movie. It's a comedy. So it's about like all of the guys in that time. So it looks like he was a pilot, like a fighter pilot or something in the movie or something. I don't know. Yeah, he's out there finding the good fight.

SPEAKER_02 5:37

Nice finding the good fight upstairs.

SPEAKER_01 5:39

86 years old. JJ's getting choked up over here, dude. Thing about Chuck Norris. He was a hero. Yeah. Well, you almost met him today too when I watched you fall off a fucking chair trying to turn a fire alarm off.

SPEAKER_02 5:50

Sometimes you just gotta get in the moment. And I was in there. And I did it. And it happened in slow motion.

SPEAKER_01 5:56

If you're out there, please don't stand on computer chairs that have wheels and spin around. Like it's just it's not a good idea. Never works out good. It doesn't. You're gonna do it once and it's gonna work, and you're gonna be like, oh, I got this. And then today I watched a man fall like a tree in the forest, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Is The Alphabet Racist

SPEAKER_02 6:13

Hey! Hey! Is the is the alphabet racist?

SPEAKER_01 6:16

Hmm.

SPEAKER_02 6:17

I thought about this. And you told me, you asked me why is the alphabet racist? And I told you unencrypted.

SPEAKER_01 6:23

It is. Why is it in order? Is there an order? I mean, we've been told our whole lives that there is, but it doesn't mean anything. It doesn't have to mean nothing. The only thing that needs to be in order is your numbers. That makes sense. No, it doesn't.

SPEAKER_02 6:36

What do you mean it doesn't? I don't think it has to make sense. Nothing has to make sense. Stop it. Until you rationalize it. Stop it. It's kind of like quantum physics. Do you understand quantum physics until you don't? It's like it's like that box with the cat in it. But how do Schrödinger's box?

SPEAKER_01 6:50

How would we ever know what we're told about quantum physics is right? Because we don't understand it. I get it. Why don't you get it?

SPEAKER_06 7:01

Enough is enough.

Aliens Time Travel And Water Theft

SPEAKER_01 7:03

I saw something. I think I put it in our Discord chat. I saw a fucking weird thing about a star the other day. And it said if you were on the furthest star in the galaxy looking at Earth in a telescope, you would only be seeing Earth in the Roman Empire.

SPEAKER_02 7:21

Oh yeah, because the time the time dilation.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

So that made me think let's just say aliens are real, but they're further than that out in space.

SPEAKER_02 7:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 7:30

If they come back to us and interact with us, that would alter their future.

SPEAKER_02 7:36

Only if they could travel that far that fast. You're talking about traveling a blink of time, blinking a so so fast. Too fast. That doesn't exist. At least under the human concept. But what does that mean if the aliens could travel back in time like that? They could just slip jump space time. Could they change their future then?

SPEAKER_01 7:54

Right. That's what I'm thinking.

SPEAKER_02 7:56

Oh no. So they've got that technology, but then they would have to have it to be able to do it to go back in time, why it hasn't occurred yet. Unless they did it. Maybe they've been doing it, Burke. Yeah, maybe the whole time. It just happens so fast. And they're doing it.

SPEAKER_01 8:09

Yeah, they're they're doing the little tests and stuff. Think about all the places that are losing water. If we have water issues, because we already know like AI is going to be a problem for fresh water. Yeah, they just gonna steal all the waters. So if that's a problem for us, if they're so far ahead of us and it's now a problem for them, maybe they're coming back to steal our water. They're stealing the water. They're stealing the water. And this is that I had a prophecy about that when I was a child. They don't want to help us. They're just gonna kill us because we don't matter to their future. They're gonna drop all the water. So they steal the water. Yeah. There you go. There it is. There it is.

SPEAKER_02 8:45

We called it in five years when this is true. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 8:47

We look back on this and now and now CERN's making is a black hole. Antimatter. Antimatter.

Antimatter Panic And Movie Plots

SPEAKER_02 8:53

They're they're traveling with it. Smart. I the fact that I didn't even know they had antimatter in the first place, which seems theoretically impossible, which I guess they did. They're gonna be moving in now. Compared to this uh uh from The Guardian. And I think it was dated today. Please drive carefully. Scientists plan to transport volatile antimatter for the first time. They're telling you it's so tiny that if it did bring containment, it's it's so it's yeah, it's like uh it's like a a billionth of a trillion of a gram. Yeah, a billionth of a trillion. But here's the thing, Burke, it's anti. How does that even exist in in the in uh real world? You can't see it, you can't feel, and yet they have it, and now they're gonna move it.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

But also, if it breaks containment, it won't do anything. But how do you know that? How do you know we don't know what that does in our environment?

SPEAKER_02 9:38

No, we don't. It's gonna spawn black hole monsters across the plains. That'd be kind of cool. And in Europe, I like that. Yeah, but you like black hole creatures?

SPEAKER_01 9:48

You know what you should do is you should take you should take that article and send it to Vin Diesel. Oh, because this would be great for the next fastest.

SPEAKER_02 9:58

Yeah, you could throw you could throw throttle that thing on the back of a car.

SPEAKER_01 10:01

Well, no, he's gonna have to save someone's gonna hijack the antimatter and use it for devious means. Yeah, he's gonna have to save the world. Yeah, so there's the new plot of the fast and furious. So we we at least check that off.

SPEAKER_02 10:13

So we've seen them flying through skyscrapers, so underwater would only make sense.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

And they went to space. Uh they went to space. Yeah, remember? And one of the fast and the furious is they hooked a rocket ship up to a Pontiac Fiero, Fiero, and Ludacris went to space. Hell yeah, they did. Like, it's only makes sense that now they're gonna save the world from a black hole. Thanks to Vin Diesel. I think for the last movie, we just need to go back to the originals. Go back to the roots? To the roots. How are you gonna get Paul Walker? AI. Oh, you're gonna AI him in. So the last movie just has the whoever was in the very first one, which would be Vin, Paul, uh, was Ludacris. Ludacris was in that one. The OG cast.

SPEAKER_02 10:51

OG, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:52

And they're saving the world. Yeah. The AI Paul Walker is gonna cost a fortune. He's the one that saves it at the end.

SPEAKER_02 10:59

I don't know anymore. Have you been watching AI and what they're doing with it? It might not cost anything. I just I just a lot of water.

SPEAKER_01 11:05

I don't want him in the whole movie. I just want to just I want to see that green Mitsubishi eclipse come flying around at the end and he like catches the container of antimatter in his hand and then he just rides off with it.

SPEAKER_02 11:19

Rides off into the sunset.

SPEAKER_01 11:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:21

Does it break open at the end? Is that just like we don't know?

SPEAKER_01 11:24

Nobody knows. You'll never know.

SPEAKER_02 11:26

Wow, he could be out there cruising the stars right now.

SPEAKER_01 11:28

Yeah, wow. We just wrote the last Fast and the Furious movie, dude. Vin Diesel, hit us up. Oh yeah, you owe me 800 bucks.

SPEAKER_02 11:37

That's it. Maybe a blender. A ninja blender.

Glitter Lung And Other Nightmares

SPEAKER_01 11:40

Yeah, 800 bucks, a ninja blender, and JJ needs a stepladder and a bow flex. And donate Burke a pear farm. I don't want anything to do with a pear. Like watching you eat that makes me sick. I feel like donkeys should eat pears. They might have glitter lung.

SPEAKER_02 12:02

What the fuck is glitter lung, dude? Sometimes when you are around glitter too much, you ingest it and then it's in your lungs. And that's it, it's pretty toxic. So you get yourself glitter glitter lung. I mean, donkeys are known glitter long people or things, uh the creatures. What is glitter lung?

SPEAKER_01 12:20

It sounds just what it is. So, like you work in a glitter factory?

SPEAKER_02 12:24

It could be glitter factory, a glitter party, glitter uh just you're snorting it for fun. I don't know what you do when you do it, but that's what happens, and you get glitter long. Is this real? Are you making this shit up? I don't know. I could be partially making it up, huh?

SPEAKER_01 12:38

But it also could be true. So, what would be the the ramifications of one inhaling a handful of glitter? Could lead from a severe trauma to a death. If this were real and you caught a severe case of glitter lung, you'd get a affliction called pony cough.

SPEAKER_02 12:54

Glitter lung refers to the serious lung inflammation or or damage caused by inhaling glitter, which can which can lead to symptoms like cough, breathlessness, and potential scarring.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

Pony cough. How do you think a pony would cough? That was not how I was thinking a pony was gonna cough, dude. I feel it would be more like glitter lung. Yeah. I never never would have thought that.

SPEAKER_02 13:34

People gotta stop celebrating with glitter.

SPEAKER_01 13:36

I mean, so it's metal flakes. So you inhale glitter like what if you work on a farm where you spread shit all day? Can you get shit lung?

SPEAKER_02 13:46

Yeah, yeah, that's a normal feces lung? Yeah, that you get particles up in there. It's not good. If you work in the forest, you get wood lung? Yeah, you get wood in your lungs. Yeah, splinters. Huh. Who knew? It's tragic. Well, you could wear a mask. You could try, but splinters still get in through those fibers in your mask. You think so? I I've been there. Huh. Trees spit them out. You've been there. I've been there. I don't know you have. I I walked through the forest before. You got jelly ankles. I do a little bit. You twist them up and they just kind of go flimmin', flamming. Damn, dude.

SPEAKER_01 14:18

Yeah. I didn't know there were so many lung inflictions. There is quite a few. You need to go with it. Study them up. I tell you what, I wouldn't want to have would be pond cone lung. You ever touched a pond cone and just been like, this feels cool. No, it like hurts. But you used down your butthole? I grew up in the south. I've wiped my ass with a lot of weird things.

2030 Prophecies And Deuce Farming

SPEAKER_02 14:37

So let me ask you a question. What's up? I was thinking about this. We really have predicted quite a few things in the show. Always. I want to really think about what 2030 is going to hold for us because that gives us solid about four years. Doom. Four to five years. Uh-huh. So we can look back at this date of uh March 21st after the great Chuck Norris has passed away. What what does this feature hold for us in the next four years? What's going to be a reality? Because prophets, we're prophets. Too much prophesizing. They've been listening to that. I don't know if you noticed.

SPEAKER_01 15:06

I mean, there's a chance that we may not even be able to do this.

SPEAKER_02 15:08

We'll probably be censored since it'd be on means. Oh, we won't be around.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

We definitely don't say the right things. We would not do well under a uh fucking dictatorship. If they needed two energetic guys to spread the message, we could do that, but I mean, I don't want to do that.

SPEAKER_02 15:25

Underground podcast.

SPEAKER_01 15:27

Oh, ham radio. Stoner Babbel will go to ham radio. Yes. Okay. We're not dealing with I will I will go around it. We'll tell you where we stash beef.

SPEAKER_02 15:36

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

So you can get fresh beef. Fresh beef. Because I ain't eating that 3D printed meat. Fuck the Midwest. Nope. I'm going to be honest with you. I thought this is how deep I thought about it. Like the fake. How far would I go if they said we're not allowed to eat regular beef anymore or regular chicken or regular pork? We gotta eat all of the fucking stuff that they engineer. I think I just start fucking, I'd just start eating duck and shit that I can hunt myself, small stuff. Like I'm not eating deer meat. You're in people. No.

SPEAKER_02 16:07

Yeah, you're gonna start that's what you were gonna do. Nope. Because all of a sudden how did you get that from I'm eating dog?

SPEAKER_00 16:13

Well, you mustn't be afraid to dream of a big adult.

SPEAKER_02 16:16

So when you when you think about it, it's gonna be a lot of people like you that are gonna be thinking like you. They're gonna hunt all the small animals out too. So there's not there's not gonna be anything around. No meat. Dude, we got fish, nope, we got furs, everything's gone. A few a few years, and now you're hunting people. Mm-mm. Yeah, you yeah, then you get addicted to it. Addicted to the hunt. You just raise your own ducks. No, they're not around anymore. Extinction. Extinction level duck event.

SPEAKER_01 16:41

Nah, dude. I started early. No, you didn't.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

I had a whole herd of ducks. You got duck cave. I don't need a cave. Yeah, because people are gonna hunt your ducks. I clipped their wings. No, and they still come hunting for ducks, and I don't think you get it.

SPEAKER_01 16:55

Oh no, I kill everyone.

SPEAKER_02 16:56

No, this is end times, bro.

SPEAKER_01 16:58

Yeah, I'm shooting everyone that comes towards my.

SPEAKER_02 17:00

Oh, so you think you think you can get the crowds, the hordes are coming coming knocking. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:05

I got enough to take care of the hordes to protect the ducks, dude. No one's getting my duck meat. And then I, if the ducks ain't around, I get the geese because you can't kill no Canadian geese, dude. You know that. Well, you know that. Well, you know that. Uh I mean, and they both give you eggs too.

SPEAKER_02 17:22

I mean, yeah. Yeah, that's great. And you don't have to tell me that. You gotta tell the hordes.

SPEAKER_01 17:28

I'm trying to tell you we should open a duck goose farm right now. What are you gonna do with them now? We're gonna buy enough land where we're gonna have 10,000 ducks and 10,000 geese. We have so many eggs.

SPEAKER_02 17:38

We gotta build, we got people involved to build the farm, the farmlands. They don't need a farm. No, we we need farm, we need barns. You need brick barns. No, you don't. You need barns. All they need is grass and water. No, where are they gonna shelter at when the tornadoes come? There's w there's no tornadoes. Yes, they do the weather weather's getting crazier as we speak. They fly. Yeah. Have you seen you seen the tornadoes in the fucking weatherlands?

SPEAKER_01 17:59

Yeah, we've had it here. Yeah. We went from a there's there was like a week where we went from a fucking blizzard to a rainstorm to a thunderstorm tornado and then back to a blizzard. So nothing makes sense.

SPEAKER_02 18:10

What are you gonna do with it? You gotta put them underground. Underground chickens. That makes sense, right? Okay, we'll dig a hole.

SPEAKER_01 18:16

And then you can just do one little small shed that looks nondescript. Ducks and geese is in 2030. Yeah, we're gonna have a duck goose farm. Underwood underground. And then we're gonna make the first hybrid. A deuce. You're gonna make a deuce. We're gonna make a deuce. That makes sense. We're gonna breed the first deuce. You're gonna deuce the future. Yeah. Hold it. Make our own fucking bird. Holy shit, the deuce. You're taking the power of the Canadian goose, you're breeding it with the grace of the duck. That'd be like the fucking martial arts guru of the goose, duck, swan family, dude. It's just it's it's like it's dominating everything. Well, I'm sold. I don't know how you cannot be. Yeah, we're breeding deuces. That's what we're doing. We're breeding fuck having the ducks and the gooses. We're going straight into breeding deuces. Deuces. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:04

We're one step ahead. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:05

And they lay double the eggs. Wow. They they double. So we're farming deuce eggs. We're deucing it. Deuce farms. Can I borrow the Chuck Norris lighter?

SPEAKER_02 19:15

Yeah, uh, it's not filled. I know. Well, you better eat your payer. I'm you got one price left. Yeah, I don't want to recarbonize.

SPEAKER_01 19:23

What? Did you just say it recarbonizes? Yeah. What does that even mean? Bona fide. When you're drunk and high, like you have very presidential tendencies. You just say things with conviction. Makes no sense. I hope you realize that, dude. Like you're just make you just making up words and piecing them together. And you're just like, if I say it with conviction, it sounds good.

SPEAKER_02 19:49

It does. I mean, that's true. That's what sales is, you motherfucker.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

What do you think I'm doing right now? I'm still on you at the idea that I know what I'm talking about. So in 2030, JJ's running for president and I'm breeding deuces. We figured out what we're doing in 2030. Yeah. You're going to be in politics, and I'm, yeah, you're going to I'm going to have to lobby against you because you're going to be trying to fucking tax me because I'm breeding deuces, dude. We break up in 2030 because you try to fucking tax my deuces.

SPEAKER_02 20:19

That's what happens if you got a monopoly on your fucking business. Yeah, well.

SPEAKER_01 20:22

I'm going to have to threaten to fucking take my deuces overseas. There's going to be places that may not even exist in 2030. So I might have to just take my deuces and start my own place. Deuces is the fucking bird of what would be my country. Birklandia, dude. Birklandia. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:39

Somewhere in the middle of nowhere.

SPEAKER_01 20:41

The country bird is the deuce. It's underground.

SPEAKER_02 20:44

It's an underground bird.

SPEAKER_01 20:45

You kill a deuce, life in prison. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:47

But then they start trying to break them out. And then they get mutated because you've been experimented on them. Try to get more than one deuce out of one. I could try and get two deuces out of one. And then they like you have an underground problem. Listen. I'll be dead and gone by then.

SPEAKER_01 21:03

I gave you guys deuces.

SPEAKER_02 21:04

No, no. You definitely were the originator, uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 21:07

The OG of the deuce. I don't know. I don't even want to think about 2030. I'm trying to figure out what the fuck I'm gonna do with my life tomorrow.

SPEAKER_02 21:14

Yeah, tomorrow, right. Well, why can't the aliens do it? Why can't they go back in time?

SPEAKER_01 21:18

Because they would fuck up their future.

SPEAKER_02 21:20

Is that what you came to? Is that what you think about? Well So does time travel exist then or not? I don't know. You don't know. All right quantum entanglement says it does.

SPEAKER_01 21:29

How well you can't tang you can't entangle it. How far in space do you have to go before time is different? That thing I said, like if you were at the furthest star looking back at Earth, it'd be at the Roman Empire. That's the speed of light.

SPEAKER_02 21:43

Well if you could do it instantaneously.

SPEAKER_01 21:44

Right. I'm just saying, like at the speed, right? You're in a relativity for human man.

SPEAKER_02 21:49

So if you got in a in an in a rocket, yeah, you rocketed it out.

SPEAKER_01 21:53

And you flew out for 20 years and then stopped, what would you be looking back at? Would you be looking Back at the same thing? No. But why? Time manulation. That doesn't make any sense. It's gravity.

SPEAKER_02 22:07

Yeah, cool.

SPEAKER_01 22:08

You get that that doesn't make sense.

SPEAKER_02 22:10

If you understood the wave planet, you would get it, but you don't get it. I don't you clearly that you'd never studied the wave planet.

SPEAKER_01 22:18

But I just with the waves. That's just one of those things, dude. Like, even if I did understand it, I couldn't believe it. I'd have to see it. Why can't you see it? Why can't I go out there and then see back into the back? Well, you could see the back into the back though. But how can I not? I want to do that.

SPEAKER_02 22:36

Well, you have to do try do it. Go do it then.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

Okay, do it. And if that's the case, why can't we send some fucking robot way out into the future so it can look back and then you can have it send a message back to not fuck up the future? That's what we're doing. Who?

SPEAKER_02 22:52

Uh probably someone. No, I don't think anyone is. I think they I think someone is. I think we're doing it. Right now, actually. We're doing it. Yeah, we're doing it.

SPEAKER_01 23:00

So you think in a way we gotta hope that someone way out there in the future is listening. A link in the chain. So they can go back and look back and say, hey, stop all that dumb stuff. You ride the waves. Yeah, and don't let the cat shit in a box in your house. Don't do it.

SPEAKER_02 23:14

Don't put it outside.

SPEAKER_01 23:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:16

In a tube, though. You gotta cover it. Yeah. So then no falcons can get to it. You don't want the falcons getting your cat. Or make them wear spicy collars.

SPEAKER_01 23:23

Hey, it's a risk you take. It just Why do you gotta take the risk? Yeah. Why can't we send the bot way out there? Send it back a message and then Well, you're a bot. So you go out there and do it.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

You go out there and do it. You watch your tone, man. I wish I was. You kind of are. I wish. To a certain degree. What how? What do you mean how? When I'm looking at you, I see a bot. That's pretty much what I do.

SPEAKER_00 23:47

Damn, dude.

Robots In The Street And At Home

SPEAKER_02 23:47

Yeah. Well, you're an NPC. That's okay. This is not a fucking bot, stupid fucking bot. So anyway, stories about bots. Your cop. Your cop bot. Cops arrested a bot. Did you know the first bot crime occurred?

SPEAKER_01 24:00

I s well, I don't know if I I saw a bot freaking out in a restaurant the other day. Was that that or no?

SPEAKER_02 24:06

What was this at?

SPEAKER_01 24:07

Uh it was overseas. It wasn't in this.

SPEAKER_02 24:10

Oh, you saw it. I thought you, I thought you mentioned you saw it in real life.

SPEAKER_01 24:13

No, no, no. It was on the video. They had like a a humanoid robot thing and it started to wig out. It was an Android. Yeah, it started attacking someone.

SPEAKER_02 24:21

Yeah, it killed someone.

SPEAKER_01 24:22

Did you see? Did you see the bot that you can buy now? No. Neo? No, what? I think it's what it's called. It's a humanoid robot that you can buy. It's$20,000. Wow. Or you can do a thing for like$500 a month, but it will do tasks for you. Oh, great. So we're there. Laundry. It will do dishes. Now I'm serious, dude. Like, you gotta look this thing up, bro. Like, it's it's wild. Great.

SPEAKER_02 24:49

That's perfect. I kind of want one. That's for you're you just didn't get it. You didn't watch the movies. I can't wait till we're fucking fine robots. You're gonna fight a robot. I feel like I got it. What if it paired up with the vacuum from last week that you said you were a birdly murder?

SPEAKER_01 25:05

But see, I always keep an old school vacuum around too, in case I need something on my side.

SPEAKER_02 25:09

Dude, they're all mechanical, they'll just go on their side.

SPEAKER_01 25:12

Nah.

SPEAKER_02 25:12

They had to go in the end. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 25:14

If that fucking robot vacuum comes with me, dude, I'm taking the big vacuum and I'm hitting that bitch like a hockey puck, bro. Just I ain't scared of that.

SPEAKER_02 25:23

No. So from uh from page six of something of this article, you guys, human humanoid robot detained by cops after terrorizing elderly women on the street. Dude, their robots are out there. They're terrorizing people. Do you think they just and hospitalizing them? It's happening right now.

SPEAKER_01 25:40

And look, they're they're going after easy targets. He went after an elderly. We don't know. The elderly tend to be the most is racist the term. Maybe she said some what would be a derogatory term that she could have said to that robot. And then you know who we really need in the situation?

SPEAKER_02 25:57

It's just he just goddammit, man. He would be to be able to handle the situation.

SPEAKER_01 26:02

Yeah, like maybe that old lady was like, Why don't you go back to the factory you came from, bot? Wow. And he was just like, Shut up, bitch.

SPEAKER_02 26:10

She was racist to the robot. Yeah. Discriminate. We don't know. We don't we didn't see it.

SPEAKER_01 26:14

We haven't heard the robot side. No, so let's not go like jump into but he was straight away, he's straight, he's incarcerated. Should we reach out and see if we can represent him? Yeah, see if we can represent him.

SPEAKER_02 26:25

Yeah, we can track him on the phone. Jabraham might have ties.

SPEAKER_01 26:28

That's gonna be something we're gonna have to deal with in the future. Like, if there's like robots walking around and like somebody says some wild shit to a robot and it slaps the shit out of them, like you look bag of bolts. Whoa! Yeah, dude. He was like, shut up, bitch. Did someone record it?

SPEAKER_02 26:45

There's photos of it.

SPEAKER_01 26:46

There's photos.

SPEAKER_02 26:46

I think there might be videos, but they were probably confiscated.

SPEAKER_01 26:50

I kind of I'd like to see that. Yeah, it was oh I got it. See, that's why we had they didn't release the video, they just released the photos because it makes the robot look bad.

SPEAKER_02 26:58

Yeah, yeah. Well, the robot was probably terrorizing people.

SPEAKER_01 27:01

Yeah. Cool. Maybe she was just like, you got little bolt dick, and he was just like, Shut up, baby. Why was she being so rude? I mean, I we don't know. We don't know. Two sides to every story.

SPEAKER_02 27:11

Oh, she just thought he was a robot.

Fast Food Feuds And Domino's Defense

SPEAKER_01 27:13

And we've only heard the third. You heard the third. If you got the power to close one fast food franchise forever, which one are you taking off the map?

SPEAKER_02 27:23

I'm taking down to the big one.

SPEAKER_01 27:24

Don't you say it, motherfucker?

SPEAKER_02 27:25

I'm gonna do it. The one that you were so hot on last week. You saying the golden arches? You had your big old double dick on yourself. You were double dicking down. Don't you I'm tired. I'm tired after you playing blackjack with them. So I'm taking down the arches, yes. I I hope they go away with their fake ass food and their fake ass beef and their fake ass company shit.

SPEAKER_01 27:47

That hurts. How about that? It sucks that you would go that low.

SPEAKER_02 27:50

I don't think it's going low.

SPEAKER_01 27:51

And you do that to me.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

I don't think it's even bad. I don't won't take it back.

SPEAKER_01 27:55

I was gonna get rid of Arby's.

SPEAKER_02 27:58

See, and that's just a mistake. So that's why I know. That's why I was worried. I wasn't worried about it.

SPEAKER_01 28:04

You know that you think you were eating fake meat at Burger King? That fucking 3D printed roast beef. If you took a thousand pieces of roast beef from Arby's and sat them side by side, they'd all look identical. That don't ever happen in the roast beef game, okay? They just dye it with fucking dye to make it look like some shit, and then they feed it to your ass. So fuck you, you curly fry eating fuck. Oh, I will take them. Yes. That's the only thing you should ever get from Arby's.

SPEAKER_02 28:37

French dip. No. You pull up to a French dip and you you roll down the window when you're by the lake. No. And you're watching like people go on a ski deal with it.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

You're just eating 3D printed beef, and then the fucking sauce that you dip it in is just melted plastic. And then you get melted plastic in your dick. You get an x-ray, you got melted dick, JJ. You eat that Arby's, you might as well just be eating the fuck. You might as well get a pile of erasers and eat them.

SPEAKER_02 29:01

Same thing. And you're making this argument for McDonald's not having the fake assistance.

SPEAKER_01 29:05

It's real beef. I don't know where you're getting your information from. The documentaries.

SPEAKER_02 29:10

Nah, listen. The real documentaries about the fake ass companies that McDonald's uses.

SPEAKER_01 29:15

That was put out by all of their competitors to try to bring them down. That's real beef that you're eating, JJ. Now, I can't say the same thing about chicken nuggets. I won't even try to make that argument.

SPEAKER_02 29:27

The pinkoo, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:28

But goddammit, they're good. And you gotta admit that they're good. But don't you dare knock McDonald's beef, sir.

SPEAKER_02 29:34

I'll admit I had a 20-piece the other night.

SPEAKER_01 29:37

And it was delicious.

SPEAKER_02 29:38

And it was great.

SPEAKER_01 29:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:39

But it's fake ass meat, you stupid hellbilly. I know. So why do you even know? Because I'm from the South, and when you deep when you bread it and deep fry it, you damn near eat anything, alright? My name's Burke, and I'm gonna attack others to make me feel better.

SPEAKER_01 29:56

You went right for the heart with that McDonald's motherfucker, so I don't even want to hear it. It's because it's criminal. You're criminal. What they do to you.

SPEAKER_02 30:04

You probably have like it'sy pizzy pizza.

SPEAKER_01 30:06

No, ever since you fell off that chair, you've been in a pissy mood, and then you go fucking attacking what's good and dear to my heart, McDonald's. You better knock it off. I tell you what, I hope never goes away is dominoes.

SPEAKER_02 30:18

I don't know about them. I don't eat them too much because it's just I've been burned by dominoes too much. What? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:25

Listen, you gotta give them a second chance.

SPEAKER_02 30:27

I tried to give them thirds and fourths and fifths.

SPEAKER_01 30:29

No.

SPEAKER_02 30:30

Yeah, I mean, I'm telling you.

SPEAKER_01 30:31

No, no. I'm telling you what. You may judge me for this. Domino's is my favorite pizza.

SPEAKER_02 30:37

You're standing up to the pizza guy, he's definitely going, damn.

SPEAKER_01 30:40

They got a good app. Oh, great, an app. They got a good rewards for the great IT team. They got a good rewards program. Good corporate team. They got great sauce combination, real cheese. Real cheese. You don't know where that cheese comes from. Pasta's good. They got good sandwiches. Only thing I'm not a fan of right now is they got a$5 delivery fee. Oh, so they're scraping by. They are, but I'm dealing with it for now. Well, a healthy consumer you are. Hey, they do have a gluten-free crust. Oh, do they? They do. Do you need that for you? No, I'm just saying, but they offer it. Not all places do. That is very nice of them. Get that at your local pizza place. How much that gluten fruit pizza cost? They don't upcharge you.

SPEAKER_00 31:25

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 31:26

Yeah. Healthy. Yeah. So. Healthy competition. If you're out there listening and you haven't tried dominoes in a while, I suggest you give it a shot. I ordered dominoes four times this week. Four times. You ordered four times? Four days in a row. No, you didn't. Yeah, I did. No, I didn't get pizza four days in a row. So the first day, I got a sub and the pasta. Day two, I got a pizza and then a brownie. Day three, I got two pastas and a coke. And then day four, I got two more pizzas. You're gonna have a goddamn artery attack.

SPEAKER_02 32:00

Don't worry. Listen, it's real cheese. Real cheese won't kill you. You're like in your 60s. You're acting like you're in your 80s, being like in your 40s, bro. You gotta like you're playing a dude being another dude.

SPEAKER_01 32:11

Then you gotta get with it, bro. Listen, I eat once a day. I'm eating just fucking, I'm bulking up bullshit. And we all got our own way, all right? Yeah, there's someone's got a way already. I like pasta. Sue me.

Ranger Theme Song And Final Thoughts

SPEAKER_02 32:29

Uh yeah. In the eyes of a ranger. You know, you gotta be a real man to sing your own theme song. That's true. Like, if you don't do it, what's the point?

SPEAKER_01 32:39

Yeah, like he's not an artist. Like he wasn't a musician, like, he was just like, I'm doing this.

SPEAKER_02 32:44

I'm doing you know what we need to do? Our own theme song.

SPEAKER_01 32:47

Remembrance. Never forget.

SPEAKER_02 32:51

Let's look off into the distance. Let's rope in some final thoughts. And be the man that you're meant to be. In the eyes of a ranger. What would he think of you?

SPEAKER_04 33:03

Ted better.

SPEAKER_01 33:04

Chuck Norris. You know what's crazy about that show is I've seen every episode. I can't name another person from the show. Walter Brinkight. Who? That wasn't him. Who are you talking about? Name another person from Walker, Texas Ranger. Other than Chuck Norris. Hallelujah. No, he was in one episode.

SPEAKER_02 33:22

Yeah, he was there.

SPEAKER_01 33:23

Like, what was his sidekick? What was the what was his sidekick's name? I think it was Darius. I don't think it was Darius. I think it was. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. You could look it up. Walker Texas Ranger. How do I find this? You should know this. His name was James. Darius James, yeah. James Trevet. It's close. I dude, I just I've seen every episode. I just I just thought of that. I can't name another person from the show. Wow. What does that say about you? It meant nothing to me. Wow. You were there for one person. Damn, dude.

SPEAKER_02 33:58

If he didn't show up, you were you weren't interested. That's true. Chuck Norris had me wrapped up as a kid. Yeah, he was wrapped around your finger. I didn't even remember that until just now. He was in the palm of your hand. Huh. Molder than you. Like clay.

SPEAKER_01 34:11

I never became a Texas Ranger. And I don't think you're meant to. Every experience I've ever had with a horse was not good. And I don't like to wear that much denim. Yeah, it's probably a good thing I'm not a Texas Ranger. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:23

Good. You don't shoot straight anyway.

SPEAKER_01 34:25

Dude, you don't even know, dude. I don't think you could ever shoot straight. You've never seen me throw a Chinese stone star.

SPEAKER_02 34:32

I haven't because it probably hasn't gone anywhere.

SPEAKER_01 34:34

Dude, I can throw it like this. Yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_02 34:39

You're flicking them. Yes. That'd work in real life. It would.

SPEAKER_01 34:43

Take your fucking eyeballs out. That's a truck. Tractor truck. Sounds like a tractor truck pulling a boat, pulling a truck. Yeah, that's it's semi-ruck. Truck boat truck. Oh, a truck boat truck. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:54

Ready for sea wars.

SPEAKER_01 34:55

Well, it's already got sea wars.

SPEAKER_02 34:57

Not the big ones. Underwater sea wars.

Water Wars And AI Ends It

SPEAKER_01 35:00

The sea horse or sea wars. The aliens stealing our water. You think the aliens are drying up Texas?

SPEAKER_02 35:06

Yes. They're killing Texas. Yeah, they are. They know Texas has a lot of guns down there, so I don't want the them shoeing at you.

SPEAKER_01 35:13

After all the thinking I've been doing this week, JJ, my final thought is you better get out there and see some water because it's going away fast. Too fast. Put your feet in it. Just relax.

SPEAKER_02 35:25

Put your hands in it because three to four or five years.

SPEAKER_01 35:30

It ain't gonna be there.

SPEAKER_02 35:32

No calling it, huh?

SPEAKER_01 35:33

So here's what I'm predicting it. Let me ask you this. We should be doing research about our lakes because we live in the state that's surrounded by those lakes. Yes. Are they losing water?

SPEAKER_02 35:45

Yeah, a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 35:46

But they can't get it back because they don't they don't so what happens when everyone's water dries up, but we got that water.

SPEAKER_02 35:53

We gotta defend it. We gotta defend the water.

SPEAKER_01 35:57

You've been talking about water wars, so maybe guardians. You've just you've been off and you're thinking about what waters we're starting wars. We're not starting the war. We're not starting water worlds, we're starting Great Lakes wars. We're saving the water.

SPEAKER_02 36:11

There's your water wars.

SPEAKER_01 36:12

I'm the shield. Water's gonna drive up and they're gonna be like the Great Lakes.

SPEAKER_02 36:16

Old water bones is a water shield.

SPEAKER_01 36:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:19

Damn, dude. That's where you eat your sea legs.

SPEAKER_01 36:23

You know what happens when you put glitter in water?

SPEAKER_02 36:25

Yeah, it floats and it becomes toxic and you suck it up. There you go with your lungs.

SPEAKER_01 36:29

And we got glitter lungs, so we're immune to it. So there you go. You want to know what we're doing in 2030? You're running for office. I'm harvesting deuces, and we are defending the lakes of our great state.

SPEAKER_02 36:45

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 36:47

What a good revelation. It probably won't be the people that will come take all of our water. It'll be the AI. It'll be the robots. Yeah. Because we're gonna create so much AI that it's gonna get so far advanced and then it'll run out of water and get pissed. That's true. And it's gonna come get our water. Logical. How do we fight that? You don't. How do you fight something you can't see?

SPEAKER_02 37:12

They don't fight the nanites in the water. The nanites. Yeah, that's how they move. Naanites? Yeah, they form up into tiny robots into bigger robots. You gotta know that.

SPEAKER_01 37:20

I don't need this in my life right now.

Closing Poem And Credits

SPEAKER_02 37:22

Okay, well, okay, good day. Find us on our Discord or do something, whatever. Okay, I'm gonna leave you with this. End of the ramble.

SPEAKER_06 37:33

End of the run. Ash on the table. Last on my tongue. Notes in the margins. Half of its sung. We've been talking in circles, chasing the hung. This is stone and pebble, fade in the black. Glitter long sparkle and we cough and we crack. Little high stories we can't get back. This is stone and babble. Rollin' the credits at last.