The Grass Bar Dream

Vibration starts as a throwaway joke and turns into the weirdest thread that actually holds our whole hang together. One minute we’re talking about getting back into old music, the next we’re using straight-up “sound healing” logic to hum a toddler to sleep, then pitching a beach-side Grass Bar where you pick a vibration setting and finally relax. It’s comedy, but it’s also the most believable wellness business we’ve invented on this show.

Then the modern world barges in: AI transcripts, AI customer service, and the creeping feeling that everything is being automated whether it works or not. We get into the future of cannabis shopping too, from weed vending machines with ID scans to drive-thru dispensaries with smaller menus that don’t make you choose between 78 gummy options. If you’ve ever wanted tech to be simpler and faster, you’ll feel seen.

Things get painfully real with a fast food app order that goes completely sideways at Burger King, followed by the most 2020s resolution possible: an AI chatbot that escalates to a human who offers a gift card. From there we spiral into cashless society anxiety, data center water use, crypto mining loopholes, smart toilets, and the cobra effect, the true story of how “fixes” can make problems worse. We finish where we always end up: curious, skeptical, laughing, and admitting we don’t know anything.

If you like conversational comedy with AI culture, consumer tech, cannabis industry “what ifs,” and a few conspiracy-tinged questions, hit play. Subscribe, share the episode with a friend, and leave a review telling us what topic sent you down the biggest rabbit hole.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:01

Snacks on the table. Brain on airplane mode. Thoughts going sideways. Let's see where they go. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 0:11

It's that stone a babble.

SPEAKER_03 0:14

Jake Jake and Burke on the line.

SPEAKER_01 0:16

Big questions, small answers.

SPEAKER_03 0:19

Losing track of the time.

SPEAKER_00 0:21

It's that stone a babble.

SPEAKER_03 0:24

Forget what we came here to say.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

If you still remember your point, you're doing this wrong today.

SPEAKER_03 0:31

For real.

Music Breaks And Parenting Hums

Building The Grass Bar Concept

Using AI To Generate Shows

Weed Vending Machines And Drive Thrus

Burger King App Chaos And Refund

Simulation Glitches And Cash Anxiety

SPEAKER_02 0:32

Keep talking then. Keep talking. Stop. I'd rather be a hair on the little loud side than a little soft side, you know what I mean? You told no lies. Told no lies, told no lies. Damn, you're in a musical mood, huh? I took a break for the longest time from music. For one, because the type of music that I like is not really appropriate to listen to around a toddler. But I don't like I'm I don't know this is gonna sound boomerish, but I just don't like any of the new rap music. And I'm just enjoying getting back into my old playlist, you know? Oh, you're you're like a water man. I'm always a water man, dude. Did you ever think about that idea? That you're water? Like 70%. You send vibrations through water. Yeah. It starts moving. Uh-huh. That's just you dancing. You ever think about that? Having a kid has taught me the power of vibrations. I don't really know all of the songs that a parent should sing to a toddler. I just didn't have that as part of my life, I guess. So I use the power of vibration to call my son and to get him to sleep. I can put him on my chest and I can just hum. I can feel the vibration in my chest, and that kid will just sleep like that, dude. You're doing it. Yeah. Who would have thunk this would have happened six years ago when we started talking about that? So yeah, like I also bought a vibration plate that I stand on, dude. You get shaky legs. Oh, dude, yeah. And so you could set on it. I'll sometimes I'll do like the push-up stance on my shoulders. Yeah. I'm the vibration guy. I'm not the mineral oil guy or the or the rocks guy. Can't get into all that. I'll be honest with you. I was thinking about this the other night. Like, I wish I could have a bed made out of comfortable grass that just vibrated. I feel like that'd be a great night's sleep. Could you imagine sleeping on just like cool grass vibrating just right? I feel like that would be a great way to relax. That would be a lovely day. Is that what do we need to create a grass bar? A grass bar would be fantastic. Obviously, people would invest in this. Six beds just out on this patio, and then you get to choose your vibration. Because everyone's vibration is different. You gotta find it. We have it designed to where like it doesn't get dew on it at night. So you sleep out there at night if you want. What are we talking about? We just made a grass bar. Grass bar. Yeah. That's the perfect name. People will drive by and be like, what's the grass bar? We're 420 friendly because it's outside. So if you want to come lay on a bed of vibrating grass any time of day and buy a joint from us and get high, we got it at the grass bar. That might be the best idea we've had so far. It's gotta be on a beach, right? We're on a beach. I feel like we have different locations. You might want a beach setting, but you might also want like a woodsy setting. A snowy setting. So the grass is warm. Warm, warm. We have like a dome over it, like a clear dome in the wintertime. So you can lay on the warm grass and just watch it snow. Come find your vibration, dude. Because the grass is grounding you to the earth. So you can actually find your true vibration. That's I've been there. There you go. I've been there. We've been saying it for years. I'm telling you, it took me a while to get there to believe it, but I think vibration city is a real thing. It will start as Grassland City and it will just expand. So Vibration City on the horizon. I never would have thought I saw this side of Burke. Our motto is no shirt, no shoes, all the service. Oh, every service. Yeah. We're all about just grounding to the shirtless town. Yeah. It's right on the sign. If you drive through it, you might see some people with no shirt, no shoes. They're just out here finding their vibration. And they found it. Vibration core. And now you go home and you know your vibration, dude. Change your life. Can we become vibration doctors? Yeah, get certified. I just certified us. That's what I'm saying. We're vibration doctors. We're the ones that make the certifications. So you have to go through us. And this is legal in our state. That wouldn't be a problem. Well, yeah. Bring your own alcohol so we don't have to have a liquor license. BYLB. Or why would we say no alcohol? That's grass only. Grass only. In the grass if you can't smoke it or vape it, we got some edibles for you. A grass bar. I feel like we gotta have some smoothies too. Oh, absolutely. We gotta have a smoothie. A smoothie bar. Smoothie cart bar. One of those ones where the people have to get on and they pedal it. And it's all around, it's going around the city. No, I feel like we should just deliver them to your grass bar. What if you could get like a weed-infused smoothie so you could get stone and be healthy at the same time? You could do workouts with it. We're just all about the grass at the grass bar. At the grass bar. Mm-hmm. I'm sold on it. We probably should write this now. It's being written down in real time. Oh, it is. Yeah, you're right. But I won't be able to remember hear it. Yeah, because you don't I'll need a tran. Can you give me a transcript? It is actually transcribed already. I did it with AI. I figured you did it. I'm doing part of the show with AI now. Now we gotta figure out how to get AI. We should do every 10 shows. We get listened to every 10 shows. So we gotta make it show. So we'll start at one. Once we catch up, every 10th show, the 11th show will just be an AI generated show that it creates on its own based on what it heard from our past 10 shows. I feel like that would be that would be all right. So we gotta find an AI chat. Is it called a chat box? There's plenty of there's so many different AIs at this point, which Bert, we're there. It's that it's right there. I'm using it casually for part of the show, and it's so easy to use. Maybe we just need to turn it up. It's eventually gonna take over or ruin the world, so we might as well take advantage of it. I mean, just like even this, like buying weed. Why can't I just walk up to a machine, let it scan my ID and take a picture of my face, and then push what I want. That's coming that would be coming. I hate to say that. That means there's no more jobs for those people, but we talked about something like this many years ago about weed being in like a gas station, maybe in an ATM like device, and that is not too far off into the future. Fuck no. And we predicted plenty of things, so another five years, and you got weed in vending machines. There's not something like that in like the Las Vegas airport. It's gotta be close. I feel like we had an idea for a dispensary that we talked about years ago that probably wouldn't have taken off then but would take off now, and that was just the drive-thru only. Pull up, here's our menu that's moderately sized and changes every so often. I think I saw a vape-only drive-thru. Those exist now. I like that. It just the whole process needs to be faster. Like if you only have like 30 products, yeah. That's that'd be easy to sling. Why do I need 78 gummy choices? You don't. I don't even need that many. I probably sell six. Yeah. Six different variants? It's time to it's time to zero it in. Chop it down and like give us 15 quality products in each category. That's it. Let me ask you a question though. Asset. If I was in a world where is three ever greater than four? Is three ever greater than four? I mean, that's a really bad reel. Okay, anyway, let me let I'm gonna reel it in for America. AW, what a good burger spot, right? Introduced a burger that was a third pounder to compete with McDonald's quarter pounder. But it failed because the idea is that Americans are stupid. Oh god, they're so stupid. They thought the a quarter pounder was more because four is bigger than three, right? Should they re-release it, market it to dummies, and say, hey, this is actually greater than that? Can I share an experience I had with Burger King yesterday? Maybe it was bad, but then pleasant. Take me through the game the gambit. I ordered some food on the Burger King app. I get to Burger King, I get to the wind the window, the first window, and she's like, Whopper for Jake? I'm like, nope. Online order for Travis. Oh, there it is. You're all set. I pull up to the second window. Whopper for Jake? Nope. Online order for Travis. I could see the panic in the three people's faces. Immediately I knew my order is fucked. I knew it. There's four adult human beings right there that are panicked that I wasn't Whopper for Jake. I was online order for Travis. And I just heard the old lady screaming, Do we got nuggets dropped? So she comes back and she's like, It's gonna be three minutes. Can you pull up? And I'm like, yes. Three minutes go by. She comes out with two bags. They feel heavy. I just want to go home and eat. I opened bag one. There's a four-piece nugget in there with some small fries and a chocolate chip cookie for my kid. Perfect. He's taken care of. I opened the bag that was supposed to be my food. There are 12 nuggets I didn't order and three sandwiches. I ordered two sandwiches. I also ordered some cheesy bacon tots. I got an order of French fries. Nothing in this bag is what I ordered. One of the sandwiches was a fish sandwich. I ordered two bacon McDoubles and an eight-piece cheesy bacon tot. And I got this fun house bag of fuck. I literally was so hungry that I ate a couple of the nuggets and then like bit into a couple of the burgers, but the fish sandwich. I was so fucking mad I opened the sliding door and I fucking threw it. I fucking threw it outside. Fucking eat this birds. And then I saw like they ate the bun and then left the goddamn fish there, which is what I would do too. Who goes to Burger King and orders a fish sandwich? And then they give it to me. I ordered two bacon fucking double whoppers and then they brought me fish, chicken, and fucking make-believe burger. I go on the app and I was like, wow, Burger King actually has a thing that says file a complaint, which no other fast food place does. So I click the button, it connects me to AI Chatbot. So I have to explain to AI Chatbot what happened. And then AI Chatbot's like, oh, I better connect you to Human. And then Human emails me 15 minutes later and was like, Would you accept a$15 gift card in your online order? And I was just like, Yes, I'll gladly accept that because the whole food wasn't even that much. But how do I know when I online order again that doesn't glitch the brains of everyone that works there and they just keep yelling whopper for Jake at me? Do I chance it again? Or do I have to find a new Burger King? You gotta go back to the same one. And you do it in person. Whoa. Face to face. But I can't then I can't use my$15. I gotta do the app. You app it in their face. In person. I feel like that's gonna be really viewed negatively. No. A white guy showing Burger King workers how he's using the app in their face, just it's not gonna go over well. You're not showing it in their face. You're using it, and it's like the peripheral, they're gonna see it. So you're making an act. You're an actor. Does it make it better that I place the online app order while I was in their parking lot? No, it's gotta be a spectacle. But you gotta keep it subdued. You gotta be flowy with it. Enter a flow state. I feel like I was pretty flowy, dude. Like the line was long. I feel like they had a lot of time to figure this out. There were five cars ahead of me. I feel like you're flowy. Like a bobcat would be flowing at a fucking meat shop. Fucking be jumping, you'd be hissing everywhere. Now you sound like my therapist. Share's therapy from last week. Did you notice? I got new glasses. I did see them. I didn't know if those are better or not. Seeing clearer now. No, these are Oakley's. So these are just like the ones I had before. They're just the frames are black now and the sides are white. That's like a lightning bolt. And I can see. You're the electricity guy. Electrical. You want to update on that? I do. Since that happened, I've touched that light socket maybe a dozen times. Not one zap. Not a single one. And to recap from last week, if you guys don't remember, he got zapped into a different dimension. I glitched for a split second and saw my hologram hand. I've tried covering up with a blanket, seeing if I could get a static shock out of it. Nothing. That's a turn of events. That's because you've already been activated now. If the simulation was trying to show me something, it's already shown me that part. It's over. Yeah, so now I'm just So that literally that socket will never shock you again. And I feel like on the way home after that podcast last week, I went through two construction zones. I was gonna ask because we talked about your manifestation acts. Yes. And I feel like it was like the simulation was telling me like still under construction. I feel like it's teaching me patience right now. You're like in that game in Asia where they're throwing obstacles at you? Squid games? That's the shooter one, though. I'm talking about the one that's casual. You kind of go through an obstacle course. They like try to hit you off. Oh, you're talking about uh MKX or something like that. Yeah, most extreme challenge, yeah. Yeah, you're like that. Yeah, Gila Douche. Oh, Giladouche here. Yes. What you think about money? It's the root of all evil that's necessary in this world. Cash is dying, and once it goes to credits, you'll have no way to like win. Because like, dude, that's the value of cash. But the credits because there's gonna be fees. How many places do you know like you go now where they say like we don't accept bills bigger than 50s or hundreds, right? I went to the ATM last week. I got out a hundred dollars. Every time you go to the ATM, how does it give you a hundred dollars? Like, what's the denomination of money it usually spits out at you? 520s, right? I went to ATM at my bank, it gave me 250s. Yeah, big money. Immediately my brain was like, these are useless. 80% of the places I go has a sign that says we won't take it. So what the fuck do I do with it? You need to have coffee shop. I go to a coffee shop. They won't take anything bigger than a 20. What coffee shop are you going to? Big B. They don't take anything bigger than a 20. So now I have his$50 bill. That's what you're gonna buy coffee with. That's illegal. What am I gonna do about it? Federal denomination. They can't do that. Well, according to their window, they can. How am I gonna pay for a pizza with a$50 bill? Pizza's gonna cost at least$25 plus tip. But he doesn't carry anything bigger than a fucking$20. That's his problem. I'm just saying, I have two useless forms of currency. I want my normal$520s that I can spend almost anywhere. Why did it give me two fifties? You definitely don't deserve them. I didn't want them. Yeah, you don't need them. Give them to me then. Fuck you. So then I had to go buy weed because it's the last place on earth that takes a$50 bill. Where are you gonna spend 50s? McDonald's won't take it. Not unless you spend that much. You always spend that much because that's how much fast food costs now. I'm down to culverse. Culver's is my last hope. I feel like it's still like the best quality food and like good service, good people. I mean, if that's how you want to roll with it. You don't like culverts? You're getting paid to say it. No, I'm not. Yeah, you are. I wish you're in the pocket of culverts. I wish. They could pay me in fucking cheese curds. You get one cheese curd per month for it. And and chocolate fucking what's that uh um custard. Yeah, they could pay me in Wisconsin cheese curds and chocolate custard. I'll do promos for culverts fucking six days a week. I haven't had I haven't. Do you even have a culverse around here? I don't think so. Damn, dude. Maybe gotta be. Yeah, we do. You don't know this place. It's over there. There you go. Maybe we should partner up with Culver's. I think you already have. I wish. They need to send us some butter butter butterburger coupons. Butterburgers? Yeah. I want some butterburger culver coupons. Say that ten times real fast. Butterburgers, butter burger bureau or the butters uh better business bureau. Yeah, they get involved with the butterburgers.

SPEAKER_03 16:22

Uh-uh.

Fire Marshals And Referral Doctor Scams

Influencer Cows And Internet Shutoff

Data Centers Crypto Loopholes And Water

Smart Toilets Shower Pods And Japan

Secret Missions Scientists Dying And Portals

Boat Life Helicopters And Used Ships

Tire Market Schemes And Rubber Houses

The Cobra Effect And Snake Kingdom

Birds That Fly For Months

Final Thoughts Tattoos And Letting Go

SPEAKER_02 16:23

Why are you are you still the duck deacon? I guess so. There was uh there was ducks waiting in my pool outside when it rained too much, formed a pond in the front yard. It still ain't gone away. No, it definitely went away now, but before we were talking that very same day about you being the duck goose god, and it comes in threes, and there's three ducks waiting in the water. That's when I took that picture. We got the birds on our side. Birds are there. So we got geese and ducks. Both provide good eggs. When it comes down to it, the deuces are gonna be on our side. That's our that's our army that we're gonna that's gonna form. The what? The duck militia. With the geese. Oh yeah, the hybrids. The deuces. The deuces, that's right. Shitting on everything. That's how you start toxic warfare. Goddamn deuces. With the poop? What do you guys do? Hey, so I'm gonna relate a story. It came to my notion, my attention. Your attention, tell me. You wear a bear suit. You're you get into a suit and you become a bear. And you want to commit crime. What would you do? So I'm dressed like a grizzly bear. You're dressed like a bear. Am I walking upright? You could do whatever you want, but you gotta make it look real. You're a bear. It's gotta commit crime. What are you doing? I'm stealing food. That's real criminal of you. That's something a bear would do. You're hungry. Yeah. You're a hungry bear. Stealing all the meat. You're going into a store? You're going to the meat section. Yep. You're stealing expensive meats. All of it. How are you gonna carry it inside your suit? Yeah, I'm just gonna load it in a buggy. I'm gonna steal a buggy full at a time. Or you're a bear driving a buggy? Circus taught me that. You're a circus bear. Yeah. I'll put out a fake story that there's an escaped circus bear. Do you have a real circus that you're gonna be related to or built one? Or is it just fake address? Yeah, fake. It's over circles. It's like way in the woods and no one remembers. Who's got time to research that these days? Someone would. Yeah. One person from the FBI that has like an addiction to this thing that following your story. Uh-huh. Because it's so wild. Yeah. That would be crazy, right? You have like someone working against you every single day that's trying to track you down. It wouldn't surprise me though. And someone you'll never know. That's the fucking thing. And they think about you every day. Yeah. Because they don't like your circus. Circus meat bears thief will go viral, but there'll be that one person that's just like, I'd kill that goddamn bear. I asked this because this happened in real life. Person wore a bear costume, and if I just said the article, California bear suit, luxury car scam ends in insurance fraud, sentences for three. Someone wore a bear costume and pretended to get into bear-related car incidents with expensive cars. Uh Mercedes. To get the insurance money. And it got up to$142,000 in payouts from the insurance company. That's genius. How did they figure that out? Easy backtracking. Whoa. Oh, there was there was footage of it. And there was a person in a bear costume. They they had wildlife experts look at it. Oh, that's a person in a costume. And then they found they did a warrant for that. They found the costume. Good try. They did it three times, it looks like. I'm sure you can already do it. Or you say, Oh, my house burned down because it got struck by lightning, and you could just create like fake footage of a lightning strike. But there's still gonna be that fire marshal that's gonna be that one person that is gonna find find out what really happened. He's gotta recreate the lighting. Yeah, he's gonna have to try to, and then he's like, I found I found these uh intoxicants right here. You believe that sometimes? Sometimes I believe what? How can something just burn to the ground and then some old man can just come sledging through there and be like, Yep, the fire started right here. I just I never understood that. There's clues. It's like blues clues. You're looking for the clues in accelerance, is the word I was looking for. And then there'd be blast radius, and then there'd be soot. So there'd be definitions of different ideas playing out. And he would visualize it in his mind's eye about how it would start and then But who's checking that? This guy's just not making this up. The fire the ethical team on the fire department. I don't believe it. That is like in the doctor's department where they come. There's a bunch of made-up jobs, dude, where just people do make-believe shit all fucking day. Fire marshals can all kiss my ass, dude. Like, oh, he you definitely used 40 cans of hairspray in the corner and started the fire. Oh, how do you know that? Because there's nothing left. Uh I just I visualize it in my mind. Just cause you don't understand it. No, no, no, no, no. I want a make-believe job. Let's make up some make-believe jobs. We're not what we're uh we're wind marshals. That fucking tornado didn't blow the house down is structurally designed poor. Wind marshals said so. We're wind marshals. Let's make up a new job for us. Do you stand on a windmill? Yeah, but we do whatever we want. We just go into it. Well, once something blows over, we walk in and be like, hold on, let me close my eyes and just recreate this wind in this house. Uh I wasn't a tornado, it was uh Johnny didn't do the proper coating in the corner up there, just blew it over. I'm on the fire, I'm the wind marshal. It's makeup stuff, fire marshal, wind marshal, fucking water marshal. What is it about this fucking made-up stuff? To be that blissful in your ignorance, it's just gonna be astounding. It's just dumb. It all does is it's just dumb to me. I agree. It is uh it is dumb, Bill. How about it all burned down? Who cares? Why are we paying some guy to fucking make up some make-believe stuff that goes into You wanna find out what happened? Ah, we don't. It doesn't have to burn the house down. Obviously, someone did. Maybe we can determine it through the. We don't need a guy to come in and make up some make-believe things. It's not make-believe just because you don't get it. How about you go study it? I want you to become a fire marshal. If John throws a Molotov cocktail through the front door, yeah, we know how the fire started. Maybe. If no one's around and the lady says, I dropped the boiling pot on the floor, like stuff caught on fire, like why do we need another layer to it? You don't you don't understand how it matters. Nah, dude. I'm the win. Marshal now. Indy wind judgments go through me now. That's good. You can stay in the wind. You maybe you can go up into the sky and never be seen again. I wish I could fly with the geese and the or with the geese and the deuces. Humans make me sick. Oh, you could just fly above and watch them all. I'm the bird marshal now. Oh, you're the wind bird marshal. I'm the bird marshal. You got so many turtles this episode. Yeah, I'm just making up jobs. You know what the biggest scam is, though? Is your doctor. Oh. You gotta go to the dumb doctor so he can determine if you need to go to a smarter doctor. And if that smarter doctor needs to refer you to an even smarter doctor, why can't I just go to the smartest doctor? Biggest fucking scam in the world. They don't got time for you. Same with the dentist. They're too special. I go to the dentist, but if I need a tooth pooled, I gotta go to the other dentist. Why can't I just do it there? It's a scam. They don't got no tools. It's a fucking scam. Oh, I got the same fucking tools. The older you get and that everything's fucking hateful. Everything is a scam. Everything is a sham. It is. I can get off my porch if I can get to you with my bad knees. I'm gonna fucking buy a thousand acres and just fucking live in the middle of it. Kill my own meat. It's gonna be an old guy. It's gonna be one oil well that you're gonna dig up yourself. Yeah, it's gonna fucking finance my future and just fucking pumping oil. Fucking cow ranch or two. Oh, dude, yeah. And you'd only breed ugly cows. Uh-oh. Yeah. Big meaty ones. Maybe one milk one. You get enough milk from one cow for a family of four, right? Maybe. Got to. I there's possibilities. So I need one milk one and some meat ones. And a thousand acres. No horses though. Fuck. No horses. How are you gonna wrangle? What do you mean? You need to wrangle the cows. The cows like me. They just come. No, they don't. Yeah, they do. They got big heads on them. Just got you. We got a dog for that. You know what happens? When you birth a cow from existence for you, they're gonna watch you the whole time take on your persona. Those motherfuckers aren't listening whatsoever. Those mama ones are gonna tell their kids, yeah, this guy's a bitch. No, they're gonna be. And they're gonna just gotta be off doing their own thing, and you're gonna be like, What am I? They're gonna be like, this motherfucker feeds us the best grass and the best vitamins, and he gives us clean water, and then he, before we go off and die, feeds us some big fresh carrots, and then boom, he eats us. They're gonna tell their children that, and they're just gonna stick around. Give you good life. Damn. And as you get old, you become food. It's just the way it works. So anyway, the reason I brought this up too is uh farmers want to make uglier cows because influencers are are flocking to these pastures because they want to take pictures with the the cute cows, the ones that look like the big old woolly mammoth. Yeah, yeah, that's that's the cool one. And then what will happen is one of those influencers will go out and buy one of those cows and has no idea how to care for it. Some bullshit. And then it's time to go to war. Turn it up. Turn it turn and turn it off. Turn it up and turn it off. Internet turns off at midnight every night. It should turn off earlier than that. I think it's 8 p.m. 8 p.m. 8 p.m. 8 p.m. to 5 a.m. That's a time frame. Yeah, I like that. And on Sundays, it's off all day. Be religious, you could be family, you could be adventurous, just whatever you want to do. I like it. Turn it off. We should have a master switch. Unplug the router. I had I thought of something the other day that I've never deep dive more than a second on. What is a data center? Because I keep seeing all of this stuff about, you know, no one wants them, everyone that has them is complaining about their water and then the noise. Like, what is it? If I remember watching five or ten second video of it, data centers for the processing power, you have to submerge everything in water to keep it cooled. Rapidly cooling electronics because it's running too hot, and that's how you're burning through so much water. And then I saw another report that said some of the data centers are just calling themselves data centers, but they're actually crypto mining. It's like a loophole that they can just say like they're data centers because there's no true definition of what is a data center. I get that it's doing all of the processing and stuff like that, but it's gotta be more than that. Have you ever seen the inside of one? Yeah, I've never seen the inside of a of a real Italian bakery. Either way, I would like to. I would like to too, but it's sorry, but it might not be on the docket. But isn't that weird? Kind of, I guess if you want to make it weird. I just I yeah, what I just want to know. I'm curious. Like, I guess you should go figure it out. So I gotta get a job at a data center, or just sneak in. I feel like that's not the way to go. Wear all black, make it a turtleneck, make it tactical. Sneak in during the night, stick it in the shadows, you'll be fine. No, they don't got thermal engine uh imaging yet. I feel like bring rope. It's surrounded by a fence with barbed wire. You bring a coat. That's the only line of the fence. There's not like motions. I feel like they're gonna catch me before I even get to see what's in there. Bring a blanket, drape it over the top of the fence, and then do like in movies and clim and climb it very fast, and you'll be fine. Let's just open, let's open our own. I don't think I don't even need any water. I don't think I want to open a data center. We're not going to. So you can open a warehouse. That that makes that makes physical sense. We'll just make our own data center. Because I don't know what it is, anyways. So we're just gonna open something and have no fucking idea what we're doing with it. Perfect. Figure it out. Yeah, we build our own data center. Oh, probably go-karts in there. Well, yeah. That's a go-kart track. Yeah, that's how we get our power. Racing around. The magnetic track. Yeah, everybody's doing work. Not knowingly, powering up the station. And we don't need your water. No water. We can make the water. We do it with ice. You're collecting rainwater, ice. We import it. You import it from Sweden. Yeah. So we're gonna kill Sweden's environment. Don't worry about it. No, we're just taking chunks of ice, that's fine. But they need that water. They don't need it. It's not going anywhere. It's ice. Well, it's going with us. It's yeah, but they don't need it then. They would need it. But they won't. Sounds very American. You just don't get it. Hey Sweden, we're coming to take your ice water. Don't worry about it. Oh, their ice, not their ice water. It's just not. But it becomes water because it melts. It doesn't melt though. I'm taking it from the mountaintops where it doesn't melt. Oh, so they don't have global warming. No, not there. Oh, gotcha. Not in the mountaintops. Sweden truly is neutral. Yeah. They don't even partake in global warming. Yeah, they're they're fine over there. Wow. That's where the that's where we need to be. That's my plan. I feel like we're very middle neutral. Why can't stuff just be normal? They seem to have it figured out. Yeah. We don't. Are they deniers or it just doesn't happen there? We have to go to figure it out. How much does it cost to go to Sweden? Are we allowed there? Do they like us? I won't like us. So I don't know. They got weed in Sweden? They probably do, but I'm pretty sure it's illegal. God damn it. It's a travesty. Again, you'll just have to make a road trip. Which I don't think crossing country lines is not that long there. Don't they make the ladies wear wooden shoes? That's Holland. Holland, okay. You're Holland. You're Dutch. Sweden. Sweden. Yeah, mouths. I feel like that's a lot of white people for me. What? I don't like the round be around that many white people. It makes me nervous. You don't like to be around people in general. I know. So just stay inside, like you always do anyway. Sweden. What's that what's the temperature like there? 70 degrees all year round. What's their mineral? It can't be ice because we're taking it. I was just gonna say ice. Can't be ice because we're taking that. I feel like they got good sunflower seeds. Market that. Swedish sworn flower. Swedish swimfower. Swedish sunflower seeds. I wonder if that's a thing. Well, it's a thing now. Costs us a fortune to import those with tariffs now. The tariffs aren't real now because they're getting paid back. Yeah. But to the companies. To the companies. That's cool. Not to the consumer. Do you think they'll cut the prices in half for a while? Fuck no. No. You're gonna raise them. Raise them. Yeah, we gotta make more money. Yeah. Shit in the box and charge them more. Blah. Oh, talking about that. They got a new thing. Shit in the box? Toilet tech. More toilet tech. Welcome to my corner of toilet tech. They're making smart toilets. They're gonna measure out your poo-poo and any other fluid that comes out and tell you what's going on. You know what's crazy is I watched a YouTube video the other day of like, you know, what's that convention that they do in America for like tech? It's uh CES. Well, apparently in Japan, they have one for bath and bathroom, take the bathroom very seriously over there, and they have a shower pod, and you fucking like get in this seat and this thing closes over you, gives you a full shad-to-toe shower while you're just sitting in there with this relaxing music, showering. So you just have a shower pod. And then they have a smart toilet that does the spray spray for you in your butt, so you don't even have to hate use the paper. We need all of the why don't we get that? I feel like we would do well in Japan until there was an earthquake. But if we're the vibration people, maybe we just stop it. You know, we stop an earthquake. Oh yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Thousand percent. Well, I've never felt an earthquake. That's there's a reason for that. Yeah, me either. Do you want to? I can't. It's not that I want to, it's just that I can. I can't. I feel like if I had to pick one like natural disaster to go through, that would be the one I'd pick. I still do tornado. Yeah, I want to be uh in Twister in the middle of that eye. With my arm chained around a pipe for an F5 that won't rip my arm apart. Well, Bill Paxon's at that time was I think the second strongest man on the planet. They actually wanted Chuck Norris to play that role, but he said Chuck Norris kills tornadoes, and they weren't ready for that. So he turns up. What if Chuck Norris didn't die? What if he faked his death because he had to go on a secret mission? It makes sense for one. Mm-hmm. But part two is tell me more. Like what kind of mission would you think he would be going on? Oh where is he going? Something only Chuck Norris could know. They're doing that on this because we talked about last week, talk about fake space, but they're just making way for Chuck Norris to go into a different dimension in space because something's happening. Something's good something's going on for real with so many different scient scientists dying at the same time. Oh, dude, yeah, it's like a new one every week. What do you think? It's it's up to 11, 12. What is it? It's all based on astronomics. So it's either aliens or it's a meteorite. But what are they hiding? What's going on? Screen's coming down, Burke. We talk about portal time. Do you think it could be one of those scenarios too where like someone starts designing something the world's not ready for, but then like the military wants to use it? Maybe someone with morals is like, no, and then they just fucking off them. That's gotta happen, right? Have you seen that kid on TikTok that's making fuel out of plastic? How long before that there's a scandal with that kid, do you think? I don't want to think about that because day one I was like, oh, this is not good to put on TV, but take it off. Someone's gonna kill you for this information, like the hydro car. Or someone told him the guy that made the remote start and unlock invented that, told him, don't patent it. He said, Because once you patent it, you basically just you're publishing your blueprint. And then all of the other companies can just take it, make one minor change to it, and it's not yours. He's like, make it yours by I forgot what it's called, but like basically him him having it online for over a year gives him some sort of intellectual property. But he said that there's something in his machine that he's never told or shown anybody, but I saw it, man, it worked, and it could solve the plastic problem. Not your plastic problem. What do you mean? You're a plastic man. You're made of plastic. No, I'm not. You bend and brittle. Like you're cold outside and get a little weak. Sh shit, dude. Get a little weak in the knees. No, dude. Like I feel bad about walking through the snow. I need some warmer weather. You fuck to weather these old bones back to life. Yeah, that's true. That is true. I do need that. Would you live on a boat? Maybe. Yeah. It would have to be a very particular time in my life where I would be like living alone. And uh, I'd be like, yeah, I'm I'm I'm done with this type of world. What if you could buy like an old ship, like where you could have your dog and stuff? I would keep it close to the coastline. I feel like I would sail along there. Like I would never like I don't want to go deep water. No. I'm terrified of open water, so I just uh I don't need to go out there anymore. And I feel like I would want to have it on the west coast because they don't have hurricanes and stuff. Go out for crab season. But I don't I'm not crab. I'm just watching them crab. Yeah, you watch them crab. It's like a your documentary of the people taking documents. I'm about to crabs right off the ship. You're watching those. Straight from the source. Yeah. You get to become friends with Bill. Who's Bill? Guy that runs the ship. Oh. He's a crabbing guy for 30 years. But I'm not going out there with him because that's deep water. No, you could you're catching him on the way back. Yeah. During sunset. He's been out there all day. Yeah, I'm giving him some weed. He's giving me some crabs. Why not? That'd be cool. That'd be dope. I feel like you could probably get a good deal on a used ship. He would know people. And he might have one. How big a boat do you think you'd need? At least a 20-footer. I don't know. I was thinking 40. You want to go big. 40. You want to be like a pirate ship. I mean, big enough to land a helicopter on a site. A galleon. A helicopter, you gotta go big ship then. What do you mean? You can't land a helicopter on a 40-foot ship? I don't think so. Says who? It's too top heavy. It will make the bulb sink. Let's ask AI. I'm gonna ask it. Get your AI partner. How big of a ship do you need to land a helicopter? Because that's what I need in my life. But you don't like to fly anyway. What kind of emergencies would dictate you going against your fear of flying? A medical emergency. Run out of weed. Uh late night snacks. High priority items. Yeah, dude. Well, obviously I'm doing alright. I got a ship. Let's see here. You don't need to worry about things. Bigger than you probably think. Minimum landing area is 40 to 50 feet. So it means I gotta buy an 80-foot ship. Where the fuck am I gonna find an 80-foot ship? Maybe you should build it, Noah. I ain't listen. I'm already a bridge expert. That's well documented. I draw the line even for myself at being able to build a ship, okay? 80-foot ship. Watch YouTube. No. No. People built bigger ships? Yeah. With way better stuff. You can do it with your hands. No, dude. Building an 80-foot ship to land a helicopter on is a level of responsibility that I don't want to take on. You don't feel like you have to take it on? But I'm building it. But you just gotta do it, you just do it. I wonder how much we could buy a used 80-foot ship for. If it's a cargo loader with a back backhoe on there, I'd say why does it have a backhoe? Are we mining? Well, you're going down a channel. We're gonna change it. That's how you um move the ship. No, that's not as a giant ore. No, what are we on a barge? In a way, yeah. That's what we can do. We can buy the lot. There we go. We that's our future. Let's buy an 80-foot barge. We're moving tires. What rubber the rubber market is a fire? So you move tires. Did you make a motto? Did you just make that up? Tire market is a blue fire. What did you just say again? The tire market, it's a fire. So it's a tire fire. Yeah. Have you ever seen a tire fire? It's yeah, it's not good. It definitely can't be good for the fire. The tire fire is a hot fire. We're removing a lot of tires. But you do it on a barch that's on water, so it moves faster. How did we go from living on a ship to now moving tires? Well, you want a business opportunity. I'm just giving you what you fucking want. Why can't we just retire without the tires? I think we can bypass. I think how about we outsource? Uh, yeah, I guess. So we don't have to touch the tires. I mean, if you want to make about 30% less, that's exactly what you could do. I mean, again, we're doing pretty good. We got an 80-foot boat that you had to build by hand. So we can give up 30%. Now we're giving back to the community. I can roll with that. And it's a rot- now we can write off the ship. Now it's a ship write-off. It's a ship write-off. And of course, y'all the accountants. There we go. We build the boat by hand and then we outsource the tires. I still don't quite understand what we're doing with the tires, but you seem passionate about the tires. Can you elaborate maybe a little more about what the tires are? Look, in the future, there's gonna be a hot tire market because rubber is going to the wayside. They're gonna become up with a new synthetic rubber, and it's gonna just cause a lot of issues. Doesn't last as long. But then rubber is gonna go away because it goes extinct due to this new product coming out because there's like a mixture of toxins in the air that make rubber like die off. Huh. So in the end, we're gonna be we're not gonna have rubber to it. But you and I have a stockpile of tires because I saw this coming. And then we make it. We have a warehouse that has a coating on there that protects the rubber from disintegrating, so they're lifelong tires. And we gotta move them during the darkness of night because they're expensive now. And then we gotta melt them. I yeah, why would we melt them? Because we have to melt the tires to make new tires. Oh, we got reform tires. Yeah. Because they're mainly for farms now. Farming tires. So we're taking over the the fire timers. The fire. Your language skills, man. Today have been on fire. It's been a tire fire. So the fire wait, yeah. We're making tires now. We're reforming tires. Or are we just moving the tires for someone else to make them? We're like a middleman of tires. Because I don't want to be around the fire. Yeah, we're not doing that. They gotta wear masks. But we're providing the tires and then we're just turning a blind eye. Like we're giving them the tires and then pretending like we don't know what they're doing with them. I'm not OSHA. I don't know. Yeah, so that's that's that's what I'm saying. We're just turning a blind eye. Like, whatever you do with the tires is what you do with the tires. Yeah, we can tour the labs if you want to. I like the side of JJ just skirt skirting the fucking disc system, dude. He knows they're polluting, but they're paying good, so we're just gonna look the other way. We take the tires and we turn it into flooring. Rubber flooring. A true rubber house. Those houses would be worth quite a bit because it'd be only a few. And if you fall down, it won't hurt. What about the roof? Could it be rubber? Maybe, but it would melt in the sunlight. Not if it's white. Yeah, a reflective glow. And then the hail just bounce off of it. And you'll never have to worry about insurance claims. Yeah, except for the other houses that get pelted from your house. Not your problem, but we turn a blind. So you have to deal with it. We don't care about all that. We're not there. That's just a B and B. Ain't our problem. I'm not dealing the problem. We just provide rubber roofs. Property management does that. Moving tires now. Where do we get them? We just start buying them now. Why don't whoa? I feel like we don't buy them. I don't think we need to. Maybe we open up a thing that says we recycle tires, drop off your old tires. We're not recycling them. We're just saving them. And then we're gonna figure out a way to write it off. We're doing it for the environment. We're not burning the tires yet. Okay, first of all, on to final thoughts. This is what we're gonna do. Okay. But second of all, I'll shut your mouth. How about that? You don't need to do that. You're about to turn on the cobra effect. You know what the cobra effect is? What? It's actually a real thing. Well, tell me. It's a phenomenon that the government created a solution for a problem that existed and it worsened the problem. So in British-controlled India, there was a cobra issue. There's a little too many cobras out in the world. So they said, hey, bounty on the cobras. Wait, are we talking about like the snake? Okay, not like G.I. Joe Cobra. No, no, cobra. Okay. The real that poises snake. Yeah, yeah. The one that stands up. Yeah. Nah, dude. Big hooded neck. I don't want to see that motherfucker at all. And that's what they said. So they put a bounty on him. You know what people did? They start breeding him. Smart. Tactical move. Business, business savvy. Smart. Breed them to turn so the government caught on. They stopped the bounty program, but then the issue was much larger because there were more cobras in the world now. What kills the cobra? Mongoose. But then you'd have a mongoose problem. And that's what happened before, too. There's always gonna be repercussions. Maybe you should the people should just move. Maybe it's the cobra's land. And those things got weird colors too, dude. Like that's how that's how Kingdom started. Ah man, this fucking just makes me think of that dinosaur in Jurassic Park that spit, you know, it had the thing. Yeah, it's a it's a spitter. Yeah, dude. I don't want to see that snake ever in real life. You don't like reptiles. I mean, I like to look at some of them from a distance, but snakes in particular, but that one, that one is my nightmare. Why wouldn't the government just go out there and kill the snakes instead of doing the bounty program? Because they don't they gotta do government things. You got other things going on. They're like Burke. Hey, Burke is a big picture I gave you, right? That's what the government is. They're a big picture. The day-to-day stuff, it's gotta be the small person. But if you don't take care of the cobras, and then eventually the cobras way outnumber the people, then you won't be able to fix the cobra problem. Could you imagine like Snake Kingdom? I just realized what our uh we've been talking about duck and geese kingdoms. That's our adversary, snake kingdom. Snakes, they've been breeding for far too long. It comes in threes. Uh-huh. So, but we're still a shorter bird. What would happen if an eagle and a falcon had sex? What would that be called? A feagal? I feel like that's a dog. Or an alkin. That's a night bird. So it'd be very fast and powerful. So it's a paragraph. A paragraph falcon. It's already a real bird. That's a dye bomber. Dude, I saw a thing about birds the other day that blew my fucking mind. About how long some birds can stay at flight without touching down. Days. Some of them are months. Months at a time. They sleep flying? I don't know. No, I think they do. How? I mean, that's like that's animals that have to swim to survive. They sleep. Birds are so cool. I'm an old guy that likes birds now. Well, that's what happens to old guys with small bladders. But I don't want to watch them. I just like to learn like how do we find a bird where we can like track it to see it not touch the ground for a year? It could stay at flight for a year, months. Yeah, I'm sure you could. Without touching the ground. There's bird there's bird websites that I'm sure track them. We bird trackers now? You can track birds. How about we join forces? Since you want to see a tornado, and I want to see the birds. We'll monitor the birds by the tornadoes. Are the birds going through the tornadoes? They gotta stay away from them. Who could know? I mean, eventually one's gotta get sucked in. The poor birds. So we'd look at the birds at the tornadoes. Would you rather see how a tornado is made from the inside or above? That's what I've always wondered. Is like I've seen a tornado with my own eyes. So like on the outside, and I've seen like footage where they send those little beacons, right? On the inside, like they did in Twister. But what's it look like from above? Get your drone in there. You think that exists already? Probably. Tornado drone footage? Probably. Yeah, like what does it look like down on the inside? Like we've even seen it from a like a hurricane. Maybe it's a portal. Like we've seen the fly above, and you see the eye. Like, what's the eye of the tornado look like? Maybe it doesn't have an eye because it would throw it up. It's gone. But it throws it out everywhere. Crazy logic. Burke, what's your final thought then? Oh, I don't know anything. You're you're no guy. I'm just yeah. The older I get, the more I don't understand things, and I feel like everything's fake. Yeah. I don't know things either. You thought you did. And everything's I feel like everyone's lying to me now. Not you. Every time I go somewhere where I'm gonna have to give someone money, I immediately feel like I'm being lied to. Everywhere. Should we just start shopping in the Amish community? Whoa. Does the Amish have a grocery store? I don't know. You have to figure it out. We gotta find it. You just you could go talk to a farmer though. Amish wouldn't lie to us. There's farmers that sell you stuff. I just want some Amish cheese. Out of a meat box. Amish cheese? You're churning the you're churning the churn yourself. Yeah. Amish, I bet they got good cheese. Let's go find maybe. We'll find the Amish grocery store. That would work. Uh yeah. So that's my final thought. I don't fucking I don't fucking know anything. That's perfect. I'm stupid. Oh, well. That's too bad. I don't need to figure it out. It'll tell me. There you go. That's how it works. Yeah, I'm just going with the vibrations, dude. Even with my music. If I turn it on and I don't like how it's vibrating me, it's done. Skip it. Yeah. Get out of here. I don't need it in my life right now. I don't need it near me. Just bung. Oh, you're gone. Yeah. You're a gone guy now. Maybe. That's could be what it is. Yeah, you're the mind going in throat singers now. You don't don't knock it till you try it. I I want to do that thing where they have you seen where they're like put your feet, they put your feet on metal and then they hit it with the metal hammer and it sends the vibrations like up your body through your feet. Ah. I'd try that. That'd be heavy. In the next two weeks, I want to get a tattoo. That's that's my final thought. Is it a vibration tattoo? Nope, nope. I'm just gonna cover this thing up on my life. Oh, the Humber one. Yeah, get that done. Makes sense. No more hustling for you. Days are over. Yeah. Yes. Just like this podcast.

SPEAKER_03 47:38

Ash in the tray, minds in the sky. High thoughts, no couch, same old vibe. Hit stop. The store is still roll. You can feel a mek on your headphones. Don't avail, just in our slow. JJ Bird, gotta let y'all go. One more laugh when we fade the black. To the next topic, bring us back.