What If The Simulation Is Sending Signs

Two dead bald eagles on the road would be unsettling. Two dead bald eagles plus a dead falcon in the same week? That’s where our brains start doing what they do best: hunting for patterns, inventing theories, and laughing so we don’t fully spiral. We talk through the most likely explanations, the least likely explanations, and why it feels impossible to shrug off something that weird when it involves America’s bird.

Then we turn the paranoia into a pitch: “The Bird Watchers.” Think long-range cameras, night goggles for owls, sensors, and a livestream that becomes a loop of people watching birds while watching us watch birds. It’s comedy, but it also taps into bigger questions about surveillance culture, attention, and how quickly a normal day can turn into a full-blown “something’s going on” moment.

We also get surprisingly practical with a real sleep experiment: turning your phone off and leaving it in another room. The results are immediate and dramatic, which leads us into EMF talk, Faraday bed canopy ideas, and the bigger truth behind the joke: sleep hygiene and digital boundaries can change your life faster than most “hacks.” From there we bounce through simulation-brain questions (including the Bingo nursery rhyme debate), mermaids and Lake Baikal lore, fear of deep water, AI automation, driverless vehicles, and robots taking over ping pong.

If you like conspiracy podcast energy with actual takeaways, hit play, then subscribe, share it with a friend who needs a laugh, and leave a review so more people can find the show.

Transcript

Dead Eagles On The Road

SPEAKER_00 0:23

I'm gonna set this off, JJ. When's the last time you saw a dead bald eagle? Hardly ever. Never. Never. I've seen two in a week. And a falcon. Two eagles and a falcon. Now here's the crazy part. The falcon was dead next to a piece of roadkill. So he must have been eaten in a car just surprised him and took him out. Here's what's crazy about the eagles. The eagles were just dead. One was in the middle of the road and one was on the side. Dead Eagles is not a good sign. Because that's America's bird. And it wasn't dead next to roadkill, so I can't use the excuse as he was hungry and just missed the car. Like, is it just dive bombing down in front of a semi and just was like, fuck this shit? That's the only thing I could think of. Because I'm like, how could a fucking eagle just be standing in the road and get hit by a car? Well, maybe it's blind. Maybe it was a blind eagle. Two? Two blind eagles? Two blind eagles. What's the chances of that? Yeah, exactly. Everyone's hit a bird, right? No, no. You've hit a bird. I've never hit a bag. Not a big bird. Never, not once. I have. No, I'm just saying, like, I've had like a bird just swoop down in front of my car and I'm like, it just boom, I hit it. Like, never an eagle. And I'm an asshole. Yes. But I'm not a big of enough asshole to see an eagle standing in the road and say, I better kill that. And if there's video of a man running over an eagle, jail. Straight off. You go straight to fucking jail, dude. Not the county. No, dude. You go to the big one. You're going to federal. You're going where the fucking child molesters are. So if it comes in threes, Burke. Well, that is threes. Two Eagles and a Falcon. Why the Falcon's Falcon, though? Every two has to have an outside friend. Oh, that's true. That's a little bit different. A little bit different, but they're cool. I I would be the Falcon. Were these all together? And were spotters or just like down the road a little bit, a little bit by the way? No, like the Eagles were closer together, but not even like in sight. They were, I'd say, within a mile apart. The Falcon was like eight miles away. I saw Eagle, Falcon, Eagle. Okay, okay. I don't like how this is going now. It came in threes, and now the next part's gonna become reality. What's that mean? I don't know yet. Oh, I don't even know what you call this. Do we have a serial bird killer? Either the birds are giving up, or we got an asshole on the loose killing America's bird. I don't like it. Do we need to become bird watchers? We're not watching the birds. We're watching around the birds. We're watching around the birds. Maybe that's been our sign. We've been seeing the geese and the ducks. Maybe the simulation showing me like, dude, you're you're not doing what we need you to do. We need you to watch the birds. Watch the birds. That's our show. Everyone watches a show about nothing, The Curse of Oak Island. We're gonna have a show called The Bird Watchers. We're watching out for the birds. So we're hunting the serial bird killer that may not even exist. But we know he he's there. It's sure someone's there. Yeah, we're gonna give you the assumption he's there. Yeah. If I find two more birds, we need to call the Discovery Channel because I think we got a show. I think there is already a show. I think you discovered a very beginning part of a bigger picture. Wait a minute. We buy a thousand acres, people can come watch the birds from their grass bar. Okay, so you're veering in a business direction. They're funding our bird watching. We're gonna be out watching the birds, and they're just gonna be on the grass bar watching the birds. See what I'm doing? We're the watchers of the birds, and they're watching the birds. And they're also watching the watchers because it's on the TV show. Exactly. So we'll have a real-time stream circle in there. It's like Truman's show for the birds. But the birds aren't gonna know. Some are gonna catch on because birds are smart. Crows. They'll be the first. So we're gonna have to befriend the crows. Crows and they can't be spilling the secret. No, they they like gold. God damn it. Bring gold with you. You are you are a mining guy. You got gold. I thought they liked pretzels. Ooh, we'll give them pop rocks. I feel like we gotta get some good bird watching equipment. Long range cameras and sensors? Mm-hmm. We need some night goggles to watch the owls. Can we do wingsuits? Can we fly with the birds? You can. Oh. I'll video it. Yeah, you're the drone operator. Yeah, I'm not flying in no suit. I'm doing it. We gotta build a man-sized nest. Maybe the birds will join us. The bird bird hotel. Would you sleep in a man-sized bird nest? If you knew it wasn't gonna fall down, like or would you be afraid a big bird would land up there and no, no, I'd punch a bird out if it attacks me. You know what else I was thinking yesterday, JJ? I think as a people's, we're pretty whiny. As humans, we whine about some of the dumbest stuff. It's just how we've become programmed because we're so right now. And if it doesn't happen right now, we cry. You go to a restaurant, you wait five extra minutes, you're like, eh. Could you imagine if we still had pterodactyls? Like that was the dinosaur that lived somehow. Could you imagine how whiny people would be if like a pterodactyl like shit on their house or their car? Pterodactyl shitting on your car would cover at least 60% of your and would also probably uh crush it. A pterodactyl shit on a toddler at a fucking playground and like injured it, people would lose their minds. Yeah, you'd hunt the pterodactyl. But you can't do that because they're protected. Yeah, they're rare. There's only like five or six left. So you they just run their own racket. Maybe an eagle shit on a guy's car and now he's out there killing birds. What do they know that we don't? Well, they sense they're down there watching. They sense energy. Your vibration's weird right now. Nah, dude. No, don't you do it. Oh, I got something to share with you. You remember we've been talking about the Faraday, like sleeping blah, blah, blah. You're talking about sleeping in a Faraday tent. So covered in my Lar. I did something. You did. I did something since our last show. Every night I turned my phone off and I left it in another room. Oh. And I slept the best I've ever fucking slept. How much better can I sleep if I take it to the next level and block it all out? What are you gonna do? They have like a fucking curtain. You know, remember, yeah, like it's over like a fucking princess's bed or the mosquito nets that they go over a whole bed. No, yeah. They make a thing like that. Oh. So you just buy one of those, pop it over your bed, boom, no signals. I'm gonna try it. It's like a hundred bucks. I noticed it the first night, dude. I just turned my phone off and left it in another room. It's time to cover my house in ten foil. Like I fell asleep like that, which is usually impossible for me. I woke up. Wow, I actually felt rested. So yeah, fuck this dude. I throw it in the water every night. But you get a flip phone. I need a texty phone. I need a phone with a keyboard again. Oh, that's right, the Cordy keyboard. Yeah. I just want to go back to texting. Oh, damn. Maybe I boot up a Blackberry. Maybe you should build your own phone. You're a phone guy. I don't know how to learn to solder. Dude, I struggle to make pasta. I can't make a fucking phone. No, I get that. You're not making a pasta phone. You're making a regular phone. So you just gotta learn how to do that. I want to make a phone that's charged by fucking Alfredo, dude. Stick a spaghetti in. Yeah. I want a spaghetti phone. You're definitely becoming that crazy guy. You think everybody's talking about? Yeah, the re the root clues. It's crazy to me that a guy could be like, yay, I just blocked out some of the signals and I'm like thinking better and sleeping better, and people are like, You're fucking crazy. Whatever. I guess I'm the crazy guy. I'm trying it tonight. There was nothing in the room that should go throw a tent outside. Go live in the yard. But there might be more signals out there. I don't know. I feel like there's way more in here. Yeah, sleep in your jeep. Uh go somewhere else and sleep in my Jeep. Yeah. Imagine you're just out in the middle of the desert. There's no signals out there. Like that's why they try to deter you from going out there. Yeah. But pyramids are built out there in Cairo. And the Grand Canyon, too. There were geniuses out there because they had no signals around them. That's still stealing them. You can't go down in that. There's parts of the Grand Canyon you can't go to. I don't like that. There's things I'm noticing, man. I'm not, I'm not, and I'm not. So anyway, here's my question. It's really deep. Streetlights in games are using real electricity to run.

unknown 8:19

Ha!

SPEAKER_00 8:20

Fuck you, dude. That's important to know. I mean, you could peel that back. Every race car game is actually using fuel. Are you telling me race car games are helping drive up the gas prices? Oh my gosh. We're banning race car games. We're banning race. No more turning left for you. And no more streetlights. Damn, dude. That's turning crazy. Turn them off. You gotta use lamps from now on. I don't like that. Kerosene lamps when you go whaling. So we're gonna have to have all 1800s games. That's the only thing you can play from now on. So there'll be no racing games. It'll just be horse racing. I mean they're carriages. Or steam trains. Yeah, steampunk. Steam trains. They can go down a different route. Wow. Or use coal. Maybe in Back to the Future, he really did use plutonium, and that's what broke the simulation. Doc Brown is actually responsible for breaking the simulation. And they've been trying to fix it ever since. But it just keeps breaking and reverting and and reversing. Michael J. Fox got involved and they put him in a different timeline and gave us shaky one. I fucking knew you were gonna say that as soon as you went to him. Terrible. We got robbed. We did get out of my eye. I poked myself.

SPEAKER_01 9:26

That's what you get. No, that's how what I get. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:29

I didn't do anything wrong. You're using karma the wrong way. That's gonna come back to you. You think that maybe there is a planet of the apes? Of course there is. Yeah. There's also a planet of the snakes. I don't like that one. The chickens.

SPEAKER_03 9:42

Mmm.

Streetlights In Games And Reality Glitches

The Bingo Nursery Rhyme Mystery

Antarctica Questions And Russian Mermaids

Titanic Sub Trips And Deep Water Dread

Flying Anxiety And Weird Future Cars

AI Drivers And Final Destination Fears

Rockstar Table Tennis And VR Chaos

AI Job Limits Bunkers And Gravity Panic

SPEAKER_00 9:43

Are they normal-sized chickens or dinosaur sized chickens? They're definitely raptor sized. Dinosaurs were the first egg layers. Technically. Allegedly. I mean, here on this earth. You still think dinosaurs are real? Yes, of course. Yes, I don't I don't think they're made up. I know you hate it because there's like only so many skeleton remains, and you would have to think there's millions, but uh how they get frozen in rock. But I know science is like not your forte. So what's more believable? Oh, here we go. Dinosaurs or space? I mean, if you're gonna have to make me rate them, I think dinosaurs would be more believable because there is evidence of them, I guess. I would say dinosaurs would be more believable to me than space because we got fake sun now. There's no fake sun. What are you talking about? How is it a fake now? I don't know. That's just not the sun I grew up with. I don't like it. It looks more fake. It feels like it's got fake heat. If it's 80, it feels like it's 100. It's just I don't know. I don't like any of it. You know what you definitely do is not know. What about all the earthquakes that happened yesterday around Area 51? What about them? How? What do you mean how? 15? 15 what? Earthquakes. Yeah, that can happen. Right around Area 51. Absolutely. Now I don't have a fault line. What are they starting up? They're not starting nothing. Area 51 is just a hoax anyway. Who are you and what have you done with my friend JJ? You're shooting down every conspiracy theory today like they've gotten to you. You asked me to argue, and now you're asking me why I'm why I'm arguing it. You mean you just do so much bitching. Just a bitch. I said a little up to you. What you try to do? Knee jerks reacted and you win a hundred percent. I needed 25 and you win a hundred. I will go bitch. You just do this episode arguing and what you've been doing is talking, talking, talking, talking. I haven't said a goddamn word. And once I open my mouth, all of a sudden I'm the bad guy. You need to shut the fuck up for just a second and think about the streetlights. I don't like it. Yeah, well, too fucking bad. I saw something the other day kind of similar to what you just told me, it kind of messed with my head. It's from a nursery rhyme. There was a farmer who had a dog and bingo was his name o Who the fuck is bingo? Is it the dog or the farmer? It doesn't specify. The song just says there was a farmer who had a dog. And his name was Bingo. And bingo was his name okay. It didn't say the dog or the farmer. Who's bingo? Is bingo the farmer? What came after that? B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, and Bingo was his name o. But it could be his as in the man. It never references to identify is bingo the dog or the farmer. I mean, my whole life I thought bingo was the dog. I just assumed. But then someone posed that question and I'm like, fuck. It never tells you. You just assume it's bingo. But maybe the song was about a lonely farmer named Bingo, who his only friend was a dog. And he just lists all the animals that he has. On the farm, he had some chickens. On the farm he had some ducks. The dog wouldn't have chickens and ducks. The farmer would. And did he say his name was bingo then? You don't know who's bingo. Bingo's the dog. If you break it down further, it's telling you on the farm he had some chickens. The farmer has the chickens. Yeah. So bingo is the guy. No, you would have dictated that bingo was them. Bingo is the chickens. No. The song is about his farm. No, the farmer is the farmer. That's why they're saying farmer. That's his name. But bingo doesn't. If bingo's the dog, the dog doesn't have chickens, ducks, and horses. That's why they didn't say bingo in that stanza. Bingo was not brought up during that whole stanza of yours. But it says on the farm, he has some referencing the farm. He in the farmer. Yes, so bingo is the farmer. But he's not in that stanza. You're singing about his farm. I know you're singing about the farmer's farm. No, dude. Because the farmer is the reference of noun used to dictate what he is. I'm telling you right now, a thousand percent, who wrote bingo? Just a quick Google search gives it as a nursery rhyme that was dating back to 1785. Historically an 18th-century Scottish drinking song before becoming a children's nursery rhyme. It was a Scottish drinking song about Bingo the farmer. They would get drunk, bingo was there, and they would make a song about his farm. Telling you, bingo is the farmer. Ah no. Yes. Bingo is the farmer. I just ruined it for a lot of people. No, boom, boom. They're just gonna be turned off from the show now because they're gonna think, damn, he's just making me dumber. My brain cells have deteriorated due to this argument. The song is about Bingo the Farmer's Farm. The first stanza is on the farm. He has a dog. This is how politics exists. You take the wrong thing and you just make it more wrong. I'm showing you the truth and you're denying it. You're denying you're a truth denier today. That's what you are. I got a truth for you. Tell me. When you light the lighter, your lighter gets lighter until your lighter is so light that your lighter won't light. Unless you got one of those John Wayne lighters like you could carry sometimes, then you can reload it. Well, you that's what you do, but I'm not talking about reload. Remember when we were gonna join Space Force? We were gonna do it? Yeah. You didn't like to fly. I don't think you were joining. Yeah, but we said we were gonna join anyways, because Space Force. Space Force. What happened to Space Force? Uh where are they? I don't know. They gotta be doing something. You think they were actors too? No, they were real. They were real? The Space Force is definitely real. Well, think about it. If they're not here, that means they're somewhere else. Fighting the good fight. They're in Antarctica. Why are they in the ice? Easy to hide. And there's something out there. Because we're not allowed to go out there. You think there's a wall? An ice wall? Yeah. I don't know. It's odd to me that there's a part of the globe that you're not allowed to fly over. It's a no-fly zone. Why? Because you melt the ice with your jet fuels and fumes. It's just odd to me that there's just a part of the globe that they say you're not allowed to see. I bet it's probably the mermaids in the ice that we talked about. Ice mermaids? Yeah, they're melting down. And now they're starting to come out of the ice, and that's why you're seeing so many so much stuff happening. Well, have you seen the story um there's that lake in Russia? It's like the most remote lake, and it freezes and it gets like three foot ice sheets, but they have a population of seals that live there. It's like the oldest lake known in the world, and they took some Russian divers to practice there long ago, and they said that they saw silvery man-like creatures in the lake. They just chalked it up to they saw those seals. Alright, so quick Google search. Like Bakal. In Siberia, Russia is a site for Urban Legends involving mysterious underwater humanoid beings. So you weren't wrong. We've had the Russian mermaids since the 80s. I I watched one of those David Attenborough narrated things about it. It's the craziest thing. Like they have these ice crystals that just stick up 30, 40 feet. And it's so remote, no one's gonna find them. That's probably why it's locked off. It's box, it's a lot of people. And it's really, it's really deep. I forgot how deep it was, but 1600 meters. So it's about one mile down. You want to go diving down there? Nope. You'd go in a submarine. Nope. That's my question is like there's a mile-deep lake in Siberia that has seals. Where's the show about this? Where's the submarine going down there looking for stuff? They have. They did. They found it. And we just can't see it now. And it's connected by tunnels to other lakes. They probably have man-made mermaid-made tunnels. Mermaid-made tunnels down there. Swimming between oceans and lakes. Speaking of quick travel. Speaking of diving, did you see that someone else is now about to do a trip in a fucking homemade Titanic sub? Haven't we learned our lesson not to try to go down to the Titanic and they're gonna do it anyway. Why? Because how many times do you need to see it? James Cameron showed us first, right? And that fancy submarine that he's got. Yeah, he did it solo. I think I think the number is about 37. Did we do it 37 times yet? I don't know. Maybe. Probably. Someone should take one of those fancy submarines and go down in this lake. At some point, this lake had to mean something in history. Like, what if there's like a like you said, what if there's like an ancient city down there? Or a fucking mermaid purper purper. A mermaid purper! Make a mermaid purple down there, but then they put you to work. Oh yeah, like they did that man in Florida. Yeah. They made him do carpentry work. Yeah, you don't want to stick around. Because mermaids got short arms. T-Rex arms. That's what they're related. T-Rexes and mermaids. And then maybe the aliens went down there and they mated with a mermaid and they thought, cool, now we'll get a long-armed mermaid, but then we got octopuses. Yep. And they don't listen. And they're smart. That's like one creature that will always just terrify me. I can imagine seeing like a boat-sized octopus. Oh, dude, like giving me nightmares, bro. Wow, you jumped out. You're a skin. Oh, dude, fuck that. I think I'd rather see a shark. Like I'd rather see like a six-foot shark than a fucking car-sized octopus. Oh, Megalodon versus uh giant octopus. The shark will bite off some of its shit. The giant octopus will just wrap it up and drag it down to the bottom and drown it. How many ships do you think a giant octopus is actually responsible of sinking? At least 7.2 if you do the math. Million? Per year. Oh, per year? Yeah. How many in the Great Lakes? You think there's a giant octopus? One. There's one? There's only one. But he's pretty dormant. But what lake is he in? Superior. Because he's superior. Yeah. Superior. He's a king. He's king down there. Then what's haunting Erie? Ghost? That I don't know. Because that lake has killed just as many people. Has it? Mm-hmm. They get wild down there, huh? Isn't it eerie that it's called Erie? Yeah. Why is it called Erie? I would have to look that up, and I just don't want to do that. And maybe they named it superior because there was a superior creature out there. I'm just gonna put this out there right now. I'm not going anywhere that requires me to get on a boat and go over a body of water. Never. Never again, huh? Never, dude. I'm not fucking with the water. But you're water. You're water guy. Yeah. I'll drink it, but I ain't fucking with it. Too much unknown. I don't like it. I probably ain't fucking with the sky ever again either, dude. I'll be hard pressed for me to get on an airplane anytime soon. Really? Yeah. No flying for you. Dude, like I just the thought of taking an airline flight right now makes me just anxious. Get queasy. They always seem angry. I might have an angry pilot, an angry staff. The guys that are supposed to do the maintenance on this plane, like, I don't know what they're getting paid. You know what I mean? Like, there's just too many layers to it that I I'll be honest with you, that I I have no control over. So you would fly on an AI controlled plane. I saw a video of a plane the other day. It's supposed to be it's marketed as the safest jet ever made. It does have self-flying features. It's like a three or a four-seater plane, but it has a parachute. I would fly in that, but the thought of getting on a big airplane and like taking like a fucking eight-hour flight right now, nah, bro. You fly you fly the plane yourself. Go on a little little plane. No, that freaks me out even more because those are the ones that fucking crash the most. No, you just glide in soft. I ain't gliding in nowhere soft. I'm going in hard. Well, then you can't fly that, you know? Yeah, like but you have to you have to fly anyway. So just get yourself a little biplane and then wear a parachute. I hate that gas is so expensive right now, but I'm gonna tell you two percent of me likes it just because there's not as many people driving, and it's what I like to do most. So there's just more peaceful. Does that make me a bad person? Oh, a little bit. Damn it. That's just the way life is. You just you're just a bad guy sometimes. Was even thinking about getting a battery car, and then I did the math, and like it'd be like equivalent to gas being 360 a gallon. It ain't that big a savings. No, and you're just you're just using energy from somewhere anyway, right? It's all it's all a sham. So I need to make a car that runs on cooking oil. Let's get a diesel car, flip it over, put the gears in, and it'll smell like french fries when you drive it. Yeah, it'd be great. Especially you can advertise in the winter. Oh, could you imagine in the winter to see French fries? You get in the car and fucking freezing, you kick the heat on, it warms up, and it smells like french fries. I'd be excited. Maybe put a little butter in it. Butter on the french fries? What the fuck are you thinking of? Maybe we think about popcorn. Popcorn. Yeah, dude. How would we make a popcorn car? Popcorn cars. That would be great. I didn't even know. You know they have hydrogen cars. No. Like it's a fucking real thing right now. What happens if he gets in a wreck? Because that's more boom boom than I'm not driving the first generation of them. Are you scared about like those driverless semis? Does that freak you out a little bit? Not really. No? Because they're they're great drivers. Who? The AI. Are they? Yeah, yeah, they can figure it out better than other drivers. Have you seen people fucking with those driverless taxis? Yes. Like if you put cones in front of it and behind it. They can't figure it out. They all got stuck at a stoplight the other day because it was blinking red. And they thought it was an actual stop and they were waiting for people to go through. Held up the whole lane. Geniuses. That's what scares me. I see that, and I'm like, they can't figure out how to operate a little car around town. Now I got a fucking runaway robot semi-carrying fucking 50,000 pounds, dude. Like that's a little scary to me. I iRobot already told us what was gonna happen, and now it's gonna happen. What was that movie with uh oh that happened recently where like all of the electric cars were like crashing into each other? I have no idea. I don't think that was a thing. It was a Julia Roberts movie. Oh Final Destination. Nope. God damn, dude. That movie, I hate it. I wish I'd never seen that movie. Final Destination. Oh, the last one? Any of them. The first one, all of them. Anytime I see a fucking truck with the logs, oh dude, I can't follow it. Yeah, I'm like, no, I gotta get off this exit and pee. Even if I don't gotta pee, I'm like that's a millennial fear. I don't want to be anywhere near that. We all have that fear from that movie. And I think there was another one with like broken glass in the face. Yeah, nah, dude. No, I don't like that. See? Why? Why do they have to do it? Why not? Your AI is taking over everything anyway. In fact, they took over ping pong. Did you see that video? They made a ping pong playing AI robot, and it absolutely devastates the world champions. And I just I was watching it because I love ping pong and I can't play it anymore. It's the master now, it's taken over. I don't like that we make humans play chess against computers. You're a computer unit yourself, though. It's just no, you're not as strong as a computer. It's too bad. Speaking of ping pong, there's a video game that I completely forgot about until I saw a video of it, and we gotta figure out how to play it. Do you remember when Rockstar made a ping pong game? No, it was the best fucking game, ping pong game I've ever played in my life. I don't remember what platform I played it on. Look it up. Rockstar made a ping pong game, dude. Rockstar Games presents table tennis. Yes. As a 2006 table tennis simulation video game. If you watch it's from 2006, but if you watch the gameplay of it, you'd be like, dude, this game was way ahead of its time. That was 20 years ago. Two decades. You I find that you can simulate it in a simulated environment because it's simulation. We get a TV on that thing, and I'll find original Xbox. You'd probably get one of those for like what 11 bucks. Oh, absolutely. You just gotta meet them in the back alley. Yeah. The back parking lot of Apple Tennessee. And that was that controller that was like the size of this coffee table. Do you think we can get it on PlayStation? Oh, we can go look it up right now. Yeah, how do we play rock star table tennis? It's gotta be playable somewhere. And if not, why haven't they not remastered that? Well, just buy a fucking 360 and we'll set it up here and we'll fucking play it every every podcast. There we go. That'll be our pre pre-game, pre-show tradition. Remember when our stupid asses tried to play VR ping pong? Oh, I love that. Yeah. And I fucking ran into the fucking. I do remember that. Yeah, dude. I the the concept of the VR was cool, but it was just a little overwhelming wearing that. When I'm able to take my glasses like I have on right now, click a thing on the side. If I can make this my VR headset, but it was just so overwhelming. And when I came out of it, it was so fucking hard to wind down, especially when you go diving into the wall for VR ping pong balls. You have to go for it. It doesn't matter if it's reality or virtual. Did you see that article I sent you that China has made it illegal to replace human workers with AI to cut costs? Never in a million years did I think I would see that headline come from that country, but that is amazing to me. So what are they gonna do with AI then? Or you think that's just big words? You think that's true? Because how you're gonna how is one person gonna stop it? Maybe they're just gonna use AI to aid in human jobs, which I'm I'm okay with. Yeah, I just think it's big words. You can't stop a tidal wave. You can look at it and be like, hey, uh only part coming through can't stop the wave. I'm pretty sure China can't. I they you you think you could. Like, here's what's crazy to me is like, what if China actually holds true to that and none of the other world does? I guess we'll see how it plays out then. I think by then we're just gonna be living in the bunkers. Did you see that story? Oh, about the Pentagon looks for vendors to supply pre-made bunkers within 30 days. They're tying this to the war, the war effort, right? They just need bunkers because what's happening in 30 days, Berg? Some bullshit, I'm sure. I saw something that because of the war that's going on right now, right? Iran has just blown up all of US military bases in the Middle East. Let's just say I don't know that to be true. That's just what they fucking tell you, right? You think the chances are pretty high that we're gonna have another terrorist attack? It'd be the only thing that would calm people. It'd be too many parallels. It all seems so fucking predictable and made up now, dude. Like, I feel like I've seen this movie. We saw a movie about it coming, and now it's happening, so we've seen this movie. Did you steal both fucking lighter? You're you're a fucking lighter thief. Oh damn. I brought two lighters and you stole both. Oh my bad. No, I don't like any of it. I don't like any of it. Yeah. I mean, speaking of ends, I guess. Let's do some final thoughts, you son bitch. For one more time, one more go. My final thought is I challenge everyone to grow something edible. What are you growing? I'm gonna do a garden, probably some kale, some peppers, some mint. I tried to do corn last year, but the fucking deer just tore it up. But I want to do a fruit, maybe watermelons. Oh, oh, what would you do with the watermelons? Eat them. You're gonna eat them. I fucking love watermelon. Do you? Mm-hmm. Especially if you freeze it. Frozen watermelon. But I'm gonna tell you something. I'm gonna change you right here. You want to up your watermelon game? Lemon juice. Lemon juice and what? On your watermelon. Like on the rind? No, motherfucker. On that chunks of watermelon, you stupid motherfucker. God, that made me angry when you said that. On the rind, who the fuck eats the rind, you fucking animal? That's what you feed donkeys. The fucking rind. God, that pissed me off. Son of a bitch. Yeah, that's my final thought. Grow something. It better not be for the fucking runs. Unless they're pork. For my final thought, I'm gonna give you a conspiracy because I do like conspiracy still.

SPEAKER_01 29:36

Mm-hmm.

Wingsuits Parachutes And The Goodbye

SPEAKER_00 29:36

There's one close coming up, which this is just a random one I found that's gonna happen in August of this year. Earth is gonna lose gravity for like seven seconds. According to this uh this article, which I'm pretty sure it's made up because at towards the bomb they said this is pure fiction. But what happens, Burke, if we lose gravity for seven seconds on this world? That'd have killed basically the entire poor population and most of the middle class. You think the rich are gonna be chained down in their houses? Mm-hmm. Probably down in those bunkers that they're getting for within 30 days. Most people that have the power will know. And then I guess if you're flying, if you're flying in an airplane, like how would losing gravity affect you there? You're getting pulled straight up. You'd be pulled straight up. Or down. So the trick is to be flying low enough. It just right in the middle. Or over water. Or you want to be on a boat. But well, not if you lose gravity for seven seconds? I feel like you go rise up and then go splashing down. Your chance of surviving that versus being just set in your house, I think, are better, right? I don't know. You could dance on the roof for seven seconds. Just wear a parachute. So you just gotta wear I okay. Where is this gonna happen? Homemade parachute everywhere. It's Earth. No, when? It says August 12th. How much does a parachute cost? I think it's$250. Are you being fucking for serious? I think I looked it up one time. Look it up right now. How much can we buy a parachute? I want a I want a good one. The main parachute costs two to four K. Perfect. We buy a parachute, and then that whole week we just make sure we're wearing it. So if we go floating off, we're good. But I'm gonna bring you full circle. Oh because earlier, when we were talking about watching the birds, you asked if we could fly with the birds and a wingsuit. Get your wingsuit for the day we lose gravity, and boom, you're flying with the birds, dickhead. But you got to listen to me right now. I support your decision to fly with the birds. Of course. But I'm not gonna support your decision to cheapo out and buy some fucking knockoff Timu wingsuit because maybe that's why I'm seeing I saw the dead falcon. You were the dead falcon because you cheapoed out on your wingsuit. Oh I needed you to buy like a competition style, like Red Bull full-on wingsuit so you can land this thing. Land it. And you still need the parachute because I don't have faith that you know what the fuck you're doing in a wingsuit. I can slow it down. I watched you fall off a chair, and when I replay that in my head, that man doesn't scream, I know what I'm doing with a wingsuit on. So I would prefer you to have the parachute if you're gonna have the wingsuit. So it's a lot of money you gotta invest to fly with the birds, JJ, but I'm behind it. Well, I'm behind uh ending this episode. Oh, great. You can find us on Discord if you guys want. Uh otherwise, uh