Travis Kelce the douche. 9ers blow it. Drake's sextape? Azz eating and the great pastime of barber shops.

I can't help but shake my head at the San Francisco 49ers' latest Super Bowl bout – they had the ammunition with Christian McCaffrey and Deebo Samuel but misplaced their playbook. It's like showing up to a duel with a cannon only to leave it unfired. Meanwhile, the Kansas City Chiefs rode their luck like seasoned gamblers, with Patrick Mahomes pulling aces at the eleventh hour. Let's not forget my grudging nod to Travis Kelce and the over-the-top Taylor Swift media circus. And there's this one celebrity scandal I'm kicking myself for not talking about sooner; it's the kind of juicy story that would've had our listeners tweeting up a storm.

Now, let's veer off the field for a moment. Ever wonder why 'step' fantasies in porn have become as mainstream as superhero movies? It's a bizarre trend that's got me scratching my head about modern-day taboos. And speaking of head-scratching, the normalization of certain intimate acts in adult films is warping bedroom realities – a topic I tackle with both hands. Nostalgia hits hard as I lament the disappearance of the classic barbershop experience amidst today's tech overload. Wrapping up, I'm laying down my bets that Usher's Super Bowl halftime show will go down as one of those unforgettable performances that'll have folks talking years from now. Tune in for a mix of sports hot takes, societal commentary, and a nod to the pastimes we're at risk of losing in our hyper-digital world.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

What up, what up? I gotta make this quick. Um, watch the Super Bowl. Good commercials. Not gonna do a rundown because I don't have fucking Rob with me anymore, so you know it kind of sucks, but I would have loved to do that. Um, commercials were good. I particularly me, being from Boston, obviously like the the Duncan there's a Duncan Kings or whatever it was, with Ben Affleck and Tom Brady and Matt Damon and J Lo and all that shit. That was a good one for me. But, um, anyways, good, good game, very entertaining, went to overtime, unfortunately for Most of the country. We have to deal with this. Travis Kelsey, taylor Swift bullshit that nobody wanted to see. And again, I talked about this with the Ravens.

Speaker 1: 1:11

Why do these teams go away from what works for them? I don't understand it. You have one of the better running games All season in the league and you just abandon it and you just want to throw, throw, throw, throw, throw. You have one of the best running backs. Christian McCaffrey is one of the best running backs in the league and you're just going to give him I don't even know what the final stats were, but it didn't seem like they were running him that much San Francisco what the fuck?

Speaker 1: 1:50

On offense, what happened to your big play players Like Debo Samuel? You didn't design really much plays for him. Um, kiddo, no show, complete no show. What the fuck? Gronk would never do that. Never in a million years Gronk would never do that. And Chelsea kind of sucked too, but he's on the other team.

Speaker 1: 2:31

I guess you would give credit to Kansas City's defense. But what the fuck you're supposed to be this offensive guru? You played, you played with balls. You went for it on fourth down. You should have probably kicked a field goal, but you went for it and you got it, but it didn't. It didn't seem like for the most part during the game.

Speaker 1: 3:03

I don't know, it's a. I don't understand these, these coaches. They get into these big games, these players get into these big games and they just listen. You got to give Patrick Mahomes credit. He does what he needs to do when he needs to do it. But, jesus Christ, with they fucking lucky. They were. So if, if that extra point doesn't get blocked and they got to go for it in regulation, they got to go for it on fourth down and if they don't get it, games over A fucking punt that that hits the back of the receiving teams leg Like. These are the types of breaks that they're just unbelievable. Like it's, it must be the Taylor Swift effect. Because what the fuck? Hi the frustrating. Pause this for a second.

Speaker 1: 4:23

I just wanted to make sure my cans were working. They got some new can, anyways, I just realized my logo looks like shit behind me. But whatever, the good Super Bowl Again. I'll give the Chiefs credit. I wanted them to lose, not because of Tom Brady bullshit, because, like different errors, if my homes get seven, then we'll start the debate, you know. But until then it's not even a comparison.

Speaker 1: 5:02

I don't know if I'm going to give on. Less than half, it was more. I can't stand Travis Kelsey. I don't give a fuck really about the Taylor Swift stuff. Like who cares? Nfl is trying to make money. She's a highly like marketable person, so I would do the same fucking thing. But I just can't stand Travis Kelsey. He's just so full of himself and he fucking sucks.

Speaker 1: 5:36

So I don't even know who won the MVP. I didn't stay along to watch it, but I'm assuming it would probably be Patrick Mahomes, which, if we're being honest, was really no MVP, not fucking game, at least none that I can think of. Maybe the guy. It was a huge momentum change. So maybe the guy who the ball bounced off his leg on that punt. Maybe that guy was the MVP for the opposite team because nobody really went off, nobody really. Entertainment wise, like great, it was close, but big play wise, it was kind of boring. I don't know. Whatever, that's not today's NFL. It was. It was good that it went over time, it's good that was close, but they like big plays and they, like you know, and it's just seemed like a really conservative game plan on both sides, especially the 49ers. I'm just I'm not the biggest 49ers fan, so I don't know what they did the rest of the rest of the year, if this is how they played the whole time.

Speaker 1: 7:06

But I don't know, maybe a quarterbacks limited. So you're not trying to do too much, but he's fucking Christ. You have one of the best running backs in the league. You're one of the best slash guys in the league. Why are you not running these plays for Debo Samuel and Christian McCaffrey to allow them to make plays in the open field? That made no sense to me. How do you let kiddle just get a donut just blank, like nothing? You're supposed to be this offensive fucking guru. I'm I'm very disappointed, very disappointed in San Francisco's offensive strategy Play, calling whatever you want to say, because it was there. It was there to be had. But whatever, like I said, you gotta give kids a city credit. They went into half Down, they came out and they took it. My homes is fucking awesome. It's not Brady, but he's awesome. So credit where credit's do.

Speaker 1: 8:35

I guess, if we're gonna Transition into Like late topics or whatever, there was obviously some Drake leak when I Guess, you know whatever a dick pic not dick pic, but like a sex tape, whatever. Everybody could see Drake stick. So I, I Failed you. I I should have in, I should have For the sake of the podcast. This is why I miss when Rob was here, because I would have made him do it. I Should have Seeked it out and watched it.

Speaker 1: 9:28

But my whole take on it is I don't give a fuck and I don't understand why people give fuck. Like, if I'm a chick and I want and I want to see Drake stick, I get it Like ooh, let me see Drake stick, let me see what it looks like, let me see how big it is. But they are legit dudes. They're legit dudes searching this shit out to see how to see Drake stick, and I don't understand it, other than if you had to talk about like, if you, from a journalistic standpoint, you've had to talk about it, which even still is kind of like Meh. But like when dream on, when dream on greens, the Dick pic came out, I Didn't seek that. I don't care, I don't give a. I'm assuming a guy that big has a huge long. I Don't know how tall Drake is. Honestly, I don't give a fuck how big his dick is, so I'm not like. Why? Why would a heterosexual male seek out Any of these Sex tapes or or or dick pics To look at a man's penis? I don't get it, and I'm not a homophobe. There's even plenty of dicks.

Speaker 1: 11:01

I watched tons of porn. What? What baffles me right now too? Like I, I don't understand the obsession with the fucking. I have never once, never once, searched for Step, whatever porn, yet it's fucking everywhere. What the fuck is wrong with you fucking lunatics out there that are having fantasies or a weird shit about your stepmothers and step sisters and stepbrothers and all of that garbage? Holy fuck, this country's going to shit if that's what the fuck did we like? Just not. Do we not understand what boundaries are? I'm just gonna be like fucking savage. It's just like fucking Apes just walking around and just oh, there's a pussy in the meat, stick it. I. What the fuck? Jesus, fucking Christ, all the main fucking categories is step. What's wrong with you people? Um, speaking of which, since we're talking about porn, I Will freely admit this I'm an old fuck.

Speaker 1: 12:29

Things are different now from when I was younger and I was actively, uh, adventurous sexually and all of that stuff. Okay, I'm a pretty open guy, I'm pretty adventurous. I've never had a finger stuck up my ass and, more recently, I've never had a, a tongue up my ass. My ass has never been eaten, and this seems to be a thing these days where, like we're, we're way past dudes eating chicks asses. Now it's like a normal thing because, yes, I still do watch porn. Fucking broads are just going to town on these dudes.

Speaker 1: 13:20

Assholes. What the fuck is going on? There are some things that should just be one way. This is one of those things I don't like. The gays can go nuts, but I, if, if I'm a beautiful young woman and I'm getting busy with a dude, my expectations should be the most suck as dick and lick his balls. It should never be to lick his dirty, hairy asshole.

Speaker 1: 13:55

Now I understand for porn shots they probably clean it up extra, they probably make sure there's no hair there and all of that bullshit. But People take their keys from porn. So I guarantee you there's a lot of fucking assholes out there that are cocking their fucking legs back like a fucking chick, expecting to get their fucking assholes eaten. When they had disgusting assholes. And if you women are out there doing it, what the fuck is said, say, say about you. Jesus fucking Christ, it's fucking disgusting. Men are gross. Why you subjecting to sex you? Why you subjecting yourself to this bullshit? Even our balls, if we don't have nice, clean, fresh balls, are gross. We're talking about fucking assholes, hairy assholes, who knows what the fuck else. Guys got going on down there with their hemorrhoids or whatever. And this is becoming a normal thing, like If.

Speaker 1: 15:06

If I'm watching a porn clip to fucking get off, why the fuck do I want to see a chick eating a guy's ass? Where is the arousal in that? Am I missing something? Am I just too old? That chick makes no fucking sense to me. I'm not about to go to a town like, oh yeah, look at her fucking. Look at a munch in that fucking asshole. Yeah, that's my asshole, even if it was POV. Like what the fuck? This upsets me more than the fucking Travis Kelsey and tell the Swift thing. So let's end up on a good note. They try to take everything away from us with this, you know, convenience and AI and all of this bullshit. And one thing they can't take away from us, at least so far, is the barber shop.

Speaker 1: 16:23

Before I get into the barber shop, can we talk about the swing back to sports real quick, because I just have a quick thought about that. I love the sports, I love watching sports. They are getting way too carried away with the screens and the busyness of the screens, like just all the stats that are on the screens it's just too much. It's too fucking much. We don't need to know every goddamn aspect of like just every fucking statistic available. We need to know the score, we need to know the time. You know like first the possession, that the if you're watching other sports, like the pitch count, you know like they're getting just way. The screen is getting way too busy, way too fucking busy. Also, if we're talking about the Super Bowl, usher killed.

Speaker 1: 17:37

It was an awesome performance. If you didn't like that, then you obviously don't like that type of music, or you just got a big dump in your pants. That shit was fire. That was the best Super Bowl half time since Bruno Mars. It was fucking fantastic. It was worth the price of admission just in itself.

Speaker 1: 18:01

He sang everything. He danced like a mother. He was out there on roller skates. This motherfucker took the risk of being out there on roller skates singing. Who's gonna do that? Not you, fucking bitch ass. Who's complaining about it, saying all they should have rock band or whatever the fuck your complain is that fucking thing was fire anyways.

Speaker 1: 18:31

They try to take everything away from us, but the barbershop still exists. Not talking supercuts, I'm not talking sports clips, I'm talking about great clips, any of that bullshit. I'm talking about your local barbershop when you take your son and you get a haircut, and that shit still exists and it's fucking awesome and the the environment is still awesome Because dudes are just being dudes at the barbershop and it's great. I feel sad when I see the mother with the, with the, with the kids having to do it, because Not that it's anything against them, it's just when the fuck is their father. But whatever, that's a different story. You know, respect to those mothers doing what their fathers aren't doing, but that's usually typically a dad thing takes his son to the barbershop, gets him a nice fresh cut.

Speaker 1: 19:29

The issue I have is these fucking barbers think they're like fucking like. They think they're like like like software engineers, like they're just giving you a cut and they're charging you like 40, 50 bucks, like like these fancy hairstylists, and the fancy hairstylists actually do these fancy hairstyles, these barbers that are trying to charge the same amount. It's giving you a fucking basic fate and maybe that, maybe they're giving you a Little shave or something like that. So maybe you're up to 50 now, but they're not doing fucking special. How the fuck did they did? Did a $20 haircut go to a $40 haircut and just a short amount of time?

Speaker 1: 20:24

Wild, I Remember I'm aging myself, but I'm back in a day these motherfuckers had on the on their little chart, regular haircut, $5. Now that I understand, it's way back when. But what the fuck? This fucking barbers are acting like they're they're Artists, like they're tattoo artists. So they're the some type of crap.

Speaker 1: 20:54

Bro, there's a million people who could do a fade Like. What the fuck, let's keep it reasonable. I wish I knew I should learn how to do it. I'll charge motherfuckers 20. Go back. Charge motherfuckers 20 bucks a fade and I'll wipe all these cock suckers off the cuz I'm giving them for half price. Jesus fucking Christ, they're painting the Mona Lisa. They're carving these fucking Intricate ice sculptures. So fucking haircut $40.

Speaker 1: 21:37

I don't weigh more skilled work than you. I don't get paid $40, but I'm paying you Love for barbers. But Jesus Christ, you guys got a fucking chill out. Or else you guys are sending people to these fucking Supercuts and and and sports clips and all that bullshit, cuz you're charging too much. You guys are fully yourself, slow with the fuck down. You're making enough money. Stop trying to fucking gouge your customers, jesus Christ. Anyways, that's all I got this week. Fuck the chiefs. Fuck the 49ers you blew it. Fuck Travis Kelsey. Fuck Taylor Swift. Fuck the barbers that charge too much money. What else can I fuck? We think that's all the fucks I got this week. All fucks are given I. Maybe. Maybe we need to change the podcast format from random riches to all fucks given. I Don't. I don't know. Rob's never coming back, so maybe it's time for a change. We'll see. Anyways, I'll talk to you next time.