The Hassle of Hair
The Hassle of Hair
From Juvenile Hall to Jiu-Jitsu: Ivan's Redemption Story
What happens when a troubled youth finds purpose? In this gripping conversation, Ivan Gonzalez takes us through his journey from the streets of East Gilroy to becoming the dedicated family man and martial artist he is today.
Growing up in a financially struggling household with parents who eventually separated, Ivan found himself drawn to the streets by age 12. What began with breaking into cars escalated to drug dealing by 15, culminating in serious charges at 17 that threatened to send him to adult court with a potential 10-14 year sentence. After spending nearly a year in juvenile detention and accepting a plea deal that left him with substantial restitution, Ivan reached a crossroads.
The birth of his daughter while transitioning out of the system became the catalyst for profound change. "I finally had positives," Ivan reflects. "Why ruin them?" This simple question marked the beginning of his transformation. Years later, at 25, Ivan discovered martial arts—a discipline that would further reshape his perspective and provide the structure he never had growing up.
Today, as a blue belt in jiu-jitsu and father of 2 , Ivan's priorities have completely shifted. His powerful testimony about wanting his children to have opportunities he never had reveals how completely his values have transformed. His story isn't just about personal redemption but highlights how crucial positive support systems are for youth—something he lacked in his early years but now works tirelessly to provide for his own family.
Whether you're facing your own struggles or simply need a reminder of the human capacity for change, Ivan's journey offers both hope and practical wisdom about the power of finding your "why" in life.
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Hey, welcome to the Hassle of Hell. So it's just normal, just like. So, what's your name?
Speaker 2:My name is Ivan Ivan Gonzalez. Live the life you love, never lose your heart the Hassle of Hell. Let's start. It's fun what they call like the east side of Gilroy. So like my younger, like very youthful days, I actually grew up like off of I think it was like East Dayton and grew up with, like my whole family, a little apartment.
Speaker 1:What do you mean by how many in your family?
Speaker 2:So it was me, it was my dad, my mom, my older brother and my older sister, so it was about five of us in like a two bedroom apartment, maybe three bedroom apartment, I don't. I can't remember too well.
Speaker 1:What'd your, what'd your parents do?
Speaker 2:So my dad was a mechanic by trade and then my mom was. She's a CNA and she still is a CNA, so she helps like elderly people.
Speaker 1:Even when you were growing up, she was a CNA.
Speaker 2:Yeah, even growing up she was always a CNA. She's actually had the same job like my whole life pretty much.
Speaker 1:Oh snap, did you like. Was it a good upbringing?
Speaker 2:Was it like? Did you like? Did you when your dad was working, your mom was working? Did you have like, would you say, a normal?
Speaker 1:upbringing. I mean that says normal. I mean a normal as far as I mean like, was it were you guys? Were you guys rich, were you guys no?
Speaker 2:we weren't rich. No, we weren't rich at all, but we weren't poor either, though yeah, I mean we were like in the my mom was in the system, like we were on food stamps and housing stuff, like that. My parents were never married, so like it was always kind of like that, like that I guess like that fraud you could say on the side, I guess, yeah, like the housing, come check my dad, have to like pack his stuff and leave for like a day or two, but I mean, you know people still do it, I guess were they so when they, when your dad would like leave for the, for food stamps?
Speaker 2:right, it was housing inspection, yeah, and they would actually come inside the house and yeah, they'd come in, they'd like go through the like, not like I mean they wouldn't like go through like drawers and stuff, but they just come in and like look around, like wellness check, yeah per se, I guess oh snap so like uh, just to make sure you know, like to keep the housing I guess right and uh, but no, but for the most part, like I mean, we didn't struggle, but we didn't have it all either, though, yeah for sure, but and when you, when you're when they would come and do the housing check it was.
Speaker 1:Did you know what was going on? Or?
Speaker 2:so when I was younger, like when, like when it first started happening, nah, I remember I actually got in trouble with my mom because I think the housing came and I was like, oh, where's my dad? And then she was like you know, in Spanish, be quiet, you know, but no, I mean throughout the year, like as the years went on, I got older, you know, I started realizing like okay, I get it now, this is the process.
Speaker 1:This is the process you know, and like I get it now yeah, and, like I saw, I'm having you on today because, like you have a pretty from what I seen, like I met you at the at and dogs, and you're just this I would say the best word to describe you just a good dad. Like I just see what your kids, your kids, are happy, and then I start talking to you, starts hearing your background, where you come from, going from point a to point b, what you've done not really a lot of people have done- yeah like I don't even think you know that.
Speaker 1:Like, when I hear your story, I go home and I tell my wife I was like, yeah, this guy was had a, had a run in with the law or the system when he was a kid and then gets out of the system and turns his life around and I think martial arts was the biggest part of it, like that. That's why I want you on and want you to tell people like your story yeah, I got you. And then, so when? When you, when you're going through all that, like what, when did it change? Like when you went from just being a kid to now okay, now I'm in the system. Now, like what changed? Like what was it that took you on the wrong path as a kid?
Speaker 2:I think I was about like 11, around 11 years old, maybe I was 11 and like I don't know, I guess, like from like the ages from like five to like just about like 11, like parents always struggled, you know it was like it was kind of rough and then there's a period of time where, like things got really good.
Speaker 2:You know, like I think my parents bought a house and I mean we're a typical hispanic family.
Speaker 2:You know, like my pops, my pops had his struggles and you know things would be rough in the household and stuff, but as far as like it wasn't all that bad up until like maybe like when my parents started splitting up and then it got like really weird, because I remember it was like I think they were split up for like maybe like two, three years, but they still lived in the same household, which was like I don't know it was just, and like like I think my sister had moved out, my brother had moved out and like I was just the only one home and like yeah, my parents had a, like I had a house, we had a house, we went from a little apartment to like a decent, I mean for me, like I think the house is still bigger than the house I live in now with my family. And yeah, it was rough, you know, like the whole. You gotta remember, like when I was around that age that was when, like the whole financial crisis happened, like the whole 2008,.
Speaker 2:The whole thing and like I didn't really know what was going on. But I remember being a kid and being stressed out about money and like being seeing my parents stressed out and stuff, right. So, uh, I just remember, like I just remember, I just never wanted to be home. I remember like always going home was just like I'd go to school, deal with the school problems, and then like go home and then like be a lot of problems at home and then like I just wouldn't want to go home. And then, you know, I had an outlet where, like I had these friends and like I met people and like it was cool. You know, like I just felt, felt welcomed, felt like everything was how do I say it? Like careless. Yeah, careless would be the perfect word yeah because it was careless I was.
Speaker 2:That's when I got probably like the most careless in my youth but it was because you would go home and like your parents.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying you would go home and your parents were split up and it was kind of a weird dynamic. You're at the house, like do you think? Do you think it'd be better if they would have just went their different ways?
Speaker 2:I think so.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think so.
Speaker 1:They try to, they try to stay together for you guys, or my mom wanted to keep it together. Yeah.
Speaker 2:For for us, yeah, for sure, it was more my mom than anything, for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and when did you start doing like I guess criminal activities? When did you start like really going into it?
Speaker 2:I think I was like around 12.
Speaker 1:And what was like the worst thing you did at 12? Like not getting caught.
Speaker 2:Not getting caught. Not getting caught it's like breaking into cars and stuff and like we used to always steal radios and stuff, stupid stuff, you know, just like just to get. Like you know we get baked or whatever yeah I think I first started doing like marijuana and stuff like that when I was like growing. I think I was like 12.
Speaker 2:I had to have been 12 because it was my sixth grade year yeah and so, yeah, when I was like in the sick pretty much the sixth grade I'm like, it opened up and did you have a mentor that kind of guided you to teach you how to?
Speaker 1:because you're 12 years old and when I think 12, your daughter's how old now?
Speaker 2:my daughter's 12. She turns.
Speaker 1:My daughter turns 13 in october and it's a trip to think like, yeah, she's your age and your kids are happy dude, like your kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my kids, kids are awesome, like I mean, I'll be honest, I got truly a feel like I got mixed into like a crowd, like of, like officially when I was 12 yeah you like I was actually doing a lot of stuff 12-year-olds shouldn't be doing, yeah, and like it was a range of a little bit of everything, Like there's a lot, it was a little bit of everything.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And for the most part I mean looking back on it I wouldn't say it was just because my parents were going through a mix or whatever they were going through. It was just like.
Speaker 1:I just felt like that was just where I was going at the time, like in that direction, that's what I guess, that's what I where I wanted to go but it's like the little things, like it's the little things over when kids are that young that it could take a little impression and all of a sudden you're going this way and then when you have nobody to tell you where to go, yeah, like, did you have anybody telling you? Like, hey, what the fuck are you doing?
Speaker 2:no, I didn't have anyone. No, I, I mean don't actually I lied. No, I I had family members and support systems that were like hey, you're kind of going down the wrong path. And like at that time when I was a kid, I mean I think this is just with kids in general, like when you're a kid, like you think you're doing something right and it's right, I don't think it matters what anyone tells you until like it's too, like it's kind of too late, I guess, right, yeah, but that's how I see it and that's how I saw it. But I mean, but for the most part, like yeah, like I think around like 12 years old and then all the way up until like yeah, so I was like at least like 20. It's been a while, it's been a long time so you had it.
Speaker 1:You had a charge when you were how old?
Speaker 2:My first charge was I was a freshman.
Speaker 1:Were you in school at the time.
Speaker 2:I was at York High as a freshman. Yeah, I actually got a drug charge. That was my first charge was a drug charge.
Speaker 1:Weed.
Speaker 2:No, it was Diz at the time. What's Diz? It was a little mixed ecstasy tablets. I guess it was a big thing when we were youth. I feel like only people that have heard about it will know what it is.
Speaker 1:So like Bay Area, like hyphy movement.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they would know. It's like all this shit like Black Dre talked about and what happened?
Speaker 1:Run it down. What happened when you got caught?
Speaker 2:well, I mean it was just like. I think it was. No, it wasn't my freshman year, it was my sophomore year. So freshman year I was just in the mix doing stuff. I never actually did that, those kind of drugs. I used to just like smoke weed, did school and like go hang out, like at friends houses and stuff like that. But I remember it was around the period of time where, like my parents were like even more, like I think I was no longer, I think my parents actually weren't together anymore. I think we actually went our own way, me and my mom. I think we went our own way and like that's where like the whole thing kind of like spiraled back to where, like it was a flashback, back to where, like it was a flash. It was like it was like a real life flashback. Like I remember being a kid living in a small house to be into a big house, parents split up and then me and my mom were like we rent like a studio garage and like it was like it all happened again and then like I remember that's the whole reason why, like I kind of I was like dude, I gotta make some money, you know.
Speaker 2:So the reason I got caught with drugs is because I was selling drugs at Gyori High. I think they're kind of on to me already. For a little bit. I was actually late on my way to one of my periods. I forgot the principal's name, but the principal was like Ivan, you need to come here and whatever. I was like, all right, I go. They searched me in the office and find the drugs on me and then that's where the system. That's where, like I really got into the system and like I didn't get arrested that day because I think my mom came and got me. But that's when, like the whole probation, the house arrest and like it just was a like, like I thought I was doing bad, and then like it went to like ugly fast.
Speaker 1:What was the? What was the fast? What was the ugly?
Speaker 2:well, once I got put on the house arrest and stuff going through the court system and like I just remember like, uh, I think I did my full term on the house arrest. I got back out, out and then, like I don't know, I got kicked out of Gilroy High. I went to a continuation school and I met other kids just like me. I met other kids just like me and like we all come from broken homes, you know, we all come from troubled, troubled paths. And like we were all just just there for each other you know what I mean. And like obviously none of us made the best decisions. But that's where, like, like stuff got worse. You know, like I started doing more stupid shit Still drug dealing and all.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess what drug dealing got even more more popular for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And then it's like I went from selling the pills to like back to weed and then like.
Speaker 1:I was mixed in with the weed and then like the coke and the dope and like I think I was like I had to have been like around 15 years old. It's mind-boggling to me because I grew up around it, but I mean, the first time I seen coke was was I think I was 30, like actually seen it. Yeah, like I've heard of it, I've heard like my friends doing it, but never seen it.
Speaker 2:And it's just wild to me that you were 15 and you were basically trafficking yeah, I was pretty mixed in and this is this isn't to brag, you know, because like no, 15 year olds should be doing that yeah, I never want my kids to go through that but my mom was working her job one job and she could bet we could barely afford where we're at, yeah, and so, like in my eyes, like went from having a little bit of some stuff to like having nothing again and I was like, oh hell, no, like this, this ain't it, you know, yeah, and so, yeah, I was like 15, I think my biggest, my biggest sellers were weed and coke and it was good. It was good for a little while, you know. I mean, it wasn't good that I was doing that, but the money was good and did you feel like?
Speaker 1:you feel like you're supporting your family, like supporting your, your mom?
Speaker 2:no, she never took any money no, no she never wanted.
Speaker 1:But she didn't have to worry about you like you had new clothes and stuff new drugs, I had new clothes and shoes and all that.
Speaker 2:But no, she cared big time. It was like big time she cared, because I remember I think it was one year, one high school year I don't remember what grade it was but probation was forcing me to go back to school and I remember my mom was like stressed out, like I can't get you shoes, I can't get you shoes, I can't get you pants, I can't get you nothing. Yeah, I can't get nothing for you. You know. And like in my head I'm like, oh, it's all right, you know, like, don't worry about it. And then, like I remember I had her drop me off at I think it was like the outlets. I was, oh, just drop me off here. And then, like I went out, bought my stuff, I came back in. I remember that conversation was like one of the worst conversations. She's like where'd you get all this money? Like like, what are you doing? You know, like my mom's not a dumb woman. You know, like she knew she knew the whole time how much did she find on you?
Speaker 2:the drugs no, the money I think I went to the outlets for like 800 bucks. Yeah, yeah, I think I was. I was 15, I had like 800 bucks and and then I always had like a G or two in the Me and my mom used to share like a wardrobe, like a dresser.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So she had three drawers. I had three drawers Because, you got to remember, we lived in one studio and I would sleep on the couch, she'd sleep on the bed. It was like super, she was making it. You know, mom's always been a strong woman. But and I remember, like I remember, like she took me to the outlets and stuff. I got my clothes Whole drive home. She's just like ripping and she's like where did you get this money? Like you shouldn't be doing this, like that stuff, you know. And she wasn't wrong, you know. And then, like we got to the house, was hiding and like she pulled it out. She's like I know that, you're, you know.
Speaker 2:And then, like she called probation, probation would come oh shit, yeah, my mom, good on your mom, my mom was tough on me, dude, like it's funny though, because like I'm not gonna say that she was 100 tough on me but it got to a point where, like I think she was just like you know what, like he's not going to change, he's this is his path to where, like she wouldn't call probation anymore. She would kind of like hide things for me. No, I mean like I wouldn't get in the system more and like I mean it sounds bad, you know, but you know any parents not going to want to see their kids yeah, what's it called? Self-destruct themselves?
Speaker 2:more you know any parents not going to want to see their kids? Yeah, what's it called? Self-destruct themselves more you know and no, yeah. So, like I remember, I used to like whatever hide stuff from her all the time and there's plenty of times where, like that house got raided and like they would never find anything you got raided because of you because of me?
Speaker 2:yeah, well, because the probation knows yeah like I'd get pulled over and or like because there's always programs and stuff that I had to attend a part of probation and like they would always I'd get searched all the time. Yeah, like every time I put my probation officer would see me like I'd have to get searched like a full search. It wouldn't be like full naked search, but it'd be like like all the way like search and then like I mean, what kind of 15 year olds walking around with like five to eight hundred dollars on their pocket all the time?
Speaker 1:you know I was back like at that, like at 15. I was happy when, when, like my parents, gave me like ten dollars to go to wendy's.
Speaker 2:Like the fact that you had eight hundred dollars is wild yeah, it was like I mean, I was, I was, I was doing well for myself, you know. But I also got into a cycle of like addiction to the, to where, like I wasn't like, it was like probably a year or so where I did have money and then like that next few years was just like okay. Now I'm just feeling my own addiction now to where, like I was just like doing, I was doing the drugs to stay afloat just to deal with everything.
Speaker 1:How long between it started spiraling down?
Speaker 2:Probably within six months, one to a year.
Speaker 1:You were on a high for six months to a year. Not drugs, but just the money You're 15. Six months, six months, with my head on my shoulders, drugs, but I mean like just the money.
Speaker 2:Like you're 15, six months, six months.
Speaker 2:I've been like that long six months with my head on my shoulders yeah well, I mean not necessarily, because it's not something 15 year olds should do, but like, as far as like I had money, I was doing that we're doing somewhat good things with the money. And then it went from like okay, now I got money, to where like, now, this is a fix, like, now I have a way for a fix. And then I think it was like up until, like, I met my wife. I think I was like around 17. That's when I started sobering up again.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:So like a solid like two years. I was probably like from 15 to like 17. So it doesn't sound like a big gap, but a lot happened in that gap and, like I remember, I was in and out of judy for those those two years too I was in and out of judy. A lot actually got caught a few times like for violations and stuff.
Speaker 1:But so you're still mixed in with the system.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was still mixed in with the system.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was still mixed in with the system. What was going through your head? Like through all this, Were you like oh, I'm the shit. It's never going to stop.
Speaker 2:That's exactly what went through my head. I saw it as like that was a hide in its own. You know, it was like the whole how can I hide this from the probation? Now? I went from hiding things from my mom to hiding things from POs and then like them catching me and then it's like, oh yeah, like in my head I'm like they're not going to find anything, and then they don't find anything and then like I just go back to doing what I'm doing. I like it was just a cycle and it was a lengthy little cycle.
Speaker 2:And I remember one time I think it was like around like three in the morning I got caught at a house party, or was it a house party? It was either a house party or a hotel. But I remember I got, I got caught and like my POs came. It was so funny because like I had given the cops a fake name and like they were going to let me go, like I was really, like I had given the cops a fake name and like they were going to let me go, like I was really, like I was really like you smarted them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was like oh, I was like I'm good, you know, like it's another notch to the high. And then, like I see my POs coming, because at the time I had two POs. I had my I wasn't on house arrest anymore, but he was still my po for some reason and then I had my traditional po, which was like my regular one, and like I remember they walked up and like I was already walking away and they're like like hold on, like that's gonzalez, like bring him back over here. And then like yeah, they searched me and stuff. And uh, I remember I was like I think I was pretty high off, I think I was pretty high too. I remember I had mouthed off to them. And then like next thing, you know, like I was mouthing off and the next thing, you know, I was like looking at this guy and I was like what the fuck? Like I got my ass.
Speaker 2:These fools, just like these fools just beat like the PO's and the cops just beat my ass yeah and then, like I got thrown in the cop car and then, like it was funny, like it was just a crazy event, and me to, right here, you're, right here downtown, the police station. I remember they were calling my mom. My mom was like I'm not gonna pick them up, like you guys, you guys can either take them to san jose or you guys can drop them off. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna go pick them up. It was like four in the morning and well, by the time it was all like already there. It was like four in the morning and for some reason, I don't know why, they didn't take me to San Jose. Probably because they beat my ass. They probably didn't want to, maybe they didn't want to deal with it, I'm not sure. But I remember they dropped me off. It was like 4 in the morning and like I remember I went inside, I like changed my clothes and shit and then, like I took off and like I remember I was yelling at me. She was like I'm calling probation, like you, like you just got dropped off by the cops, like what are you doing? And like I was just like yeah, whatever, you know. Like I was just like fuck it, you know, like I took off and then, I think, I got picked up by some friends and then, like we went somewhere else, went to like an older friend's house and like it was just, things were back to normal.
Speaker 2:And then I remember the next day my pls caught me off guard and my peel was like I gotta, I gotta, hand it to you. He's like you're a young kid living like a college lifestyle. He's like he's like I don't know how you do it. He's I don't know why you're doing it. He's all. But you need to figure it out. You know, and I was just like. I was like I was like whatever, like I guess I'll figure it out eventually. And that's where the whole I thought I was the shit kind of thing, just a dumb kid at the time. Looking back, on it.
Speaker 1:Obviously. When did it get serious Meaning? What was the charge that got you in the system where it was like no turning back, like right, like where you're at in the story, your mom's kind of not saying she gave up on you, but she kind of like she didn't know what to do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she knew.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure it was out of her hands.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and my dad wasn't involved either at all. He kind of washed his hands with the whole thing after they split. So the charge that got me like really in the deep end was like we remember we were all hanging out like we got a phone call, hey, you know so-and-so's over here, or these people are over here, like you know, come over, like come, come through, and like we went, you know happened. We all kind of like got down. It was a big old fight. I didn't do anything per se for the charges, but I mean you don't tell on your friends, you know, and I remember this happened like I don't remember what year exactly, but I remember this happened in like April and I remember the they were. I was under investigation all the way up until, I believe, august, august or whatever is after August and I remember throughout that period of time I'd get caught with stuff, I'd get in trouble and I remember a DRPD would just let me go.
Speaker 2:They would just be like we go, like they're just like oh, like we have something that we need to talk to you about, but we can deal with that like at a later time, and I was just like okay, like whatever you know and before they used to take you in before they used to take me in, they used to like turn me over to probation, which was like weird right at the time, and there was a few times where, like I got caught with stuff where like they should have took me to juvent, to juvie, and like they kind of just like looked the other way and obviously now that I'm older it's like I get it. They're trying to stack, trying to stack a case, and so the whole thing that happened, the whole thing that happened, finally caught up. It's funny because now I'm with my, with my wife, who was my girlfriend at the time. I remember when I went to the beach, it was funny. This day. I'll never forget this day. It was like a day like. It was like like a movie, because I remember it was.
Speaker 2:It was me, my two friends or three friends, and I remember we had a program in morgan hill that we always had to attend and then I remember we're like, oh yeah, when we're done with this program, we're going to go to the beach. And then I had a liquor store in Giora that was selling me alcohol, even though I was underage. They would sell me alcohol all the time, and so I was like, all right, well, we're out of this class, we'll go to the liquor store and then we'll head to the beach. Super funny. We get to the liquor store right Like me and my boy were like grabbing the beers to go to the front, and then next thing you know, both of us we had the same probation officer. They both like walk in and we're like, oh shit, so we take off and then, you know, back to the thing. Like they saw us.
Speaker 1:It was your probation officer.
Speaker 2:Well, they're both mine and his probation officer.
Speaker 1:We had the same right away.
Speaker 2:So yeah, I knew right away because I seen her or I seen I seen her.
Speaker 1:It wasn't a coincidence, no, I seen her and I was just like because you could see out the window.
Speaker 2:And I seen her and I was like, oh fuck. So like I kind of dipped around and like went behind the shelf and then, like my boy was trying to, like my boy ended up getting caught in the store by the probation and I walked out and then I think, our boys and our girls my girl was waiting for us in the car, I was walking out and then next thing, you know, like the other I think someone else's probation officer there's like four pos, they're doing sweeps that day and they were like, oh, they're like gonzalez, come here. And I was like what the fuck and so they're like.
Speaker 2:They stopped us, they cited us and that was it. They let us go on our way. So we went to another gas, another place to buy beer, went to the beach. We actually ended up getting caught at the beach drinking underage. All of us were underage.
Speaker 1:How old were you at the time?
Speaker 2:I was 17. Okay, at that time I was 17. And then we went back to my friend's house and then, yeah, his house got raided, with all of us there. And then that's when they told me about the charge. Like I remember, I actually got my ass beat in the back upstairs in the bedroom hiding because I was hiding upstairs. I was hiding upstairs, you're fucking big I was.
Speaker 1:What were you hiding?
Speaker 2:like my other friend was hiding like in the room next door right, and I remember like they caught him first and all I hear is just like like the scrambling, like the like the punching and shit, how funny. And then they opened the closet and I'm in the closet hiding in the lake and fucking, like you said, I'm how big. So, like they, they saw me right away and the fucking assholes were going to taser me in the closet. So so I was like, I was like I was like as soon as I seen like the little beam, I was like I fucking jumped out the closet. And I was like I jumped out the closet and then, next thing, you know, I get hit. And then, yeah, they take me down. And then, fucking, they drag me down the stairs and shit, and it was crazy. And, yeah, they took me to Groy PD and then that's where Detective was like oh, you know, we have this charge that we've been actually watching you for a while.
Speaker 2:No no, I was like okay, I was like, well, I don't know what you're talking about, I wasn't there. You know, I thought it was shit. I was like I wasn't there.
Speaker 1:Were you had any thought like, okay, this is big. Did you think it was big at the time when they first brought you in?
Speaker 2:in the room. Yeah, in the room. I realized it was big because it was just like how you see, like on the tv, it was like a little fucking room. Sorry, it was like a little room, just a little table with a chair and, like, dude, they let you cook like. I remember he brought me in there. He's all take a seat because I'll be with you in a little bit. I remember this cop, this detective, was super nice, the nicest guy I ever met, you know.
Speaker 2:And I remember I was just sitting there and I was, it was going through my head and you got to remember like I was still like on things too, so like heart was racing and like I was freaking out and I was trying not to show it, cause I know they were watching.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:None of that two way glass was there. None of that bullshit was there. It was just a little room and I remember he walks in. He's like, yeah, he's uh, so you've been busy, huh. And I'm like, I mean, I guess so. And he's like, well, he's uh, I got reports of you know, you chasing people with the knife and stabbing people.
Speaker 2:I'm like to my head, I'm like this guy got the wrong dude. You know like thinking my head once, guys, the wrong dude, I didn't do shit. My head, this guy got us the wrong dude, I didn't do shit. And I was just like I don't know what you're talking about, bro. And then pulls the reports out, eyewitness and all that crap, and he's like, yeah, he's all this day blah, blah. And I was like, well, you know, I didn't do any of that.
Speaker 2:I was like of just take me back to the cell. I remember this guy just kept talking to me, just kept talking to me, kept talking to me, just trying to agitate me, and I just stayed quiet, I didn't say shit. Then finally he took me to the back to the cell and they had me segregated from the rest of my friends. My friends were in one tank and I was in another tank by myself, which I don't understand why they did that, because when they, when they transported us to San Jose to Juvie, we were all in the same van, so whatever. And like when we were in the van, that's when I told everyone. I was like, oh yeah, I'm all there talking to me about like this assault with a deadly weapon charge that is borderline, like like a attended murder charge, and I was like, obviously, like I knew what they were talking about.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But I'm going to play stupid. You know, and I remember I got to juvie and right away, like when I got there, they segregated me again, right away, and then so what was like?
Speaker 1:were you? Because you're 17.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was 17. I had just turned 17, actually.
Speaker 1:And you're, when they're taking you in, what was like? Were you scared? Were you this is it? Or were you like? This is who I am Like. This is what I signed up for.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what I signed up for. I had already knew, yeah, I had already knew, yeah. I had already knew, yeah, no. I had already knew, because I remember they let you get a phone call in there and I didn't call my mom. I remember I called my wife, rena, my girlfriend. I remember I called her and I was like, oh you know, I pretended she was my mom on the phone.
Speaker 2:I was telling her the charges and stuff you know yeah and I remember these fucking the peace officers, or whatever you call them. They were just beaming me because, like they knew, I was not on the phone.
Speaker 1:I long I know they knew.
Speaker 2:I don't know if it was loud enough I don't know but I remember I was telling her the charges and I was like, yeah, I'm on, it's gonna be a little while, you know, because because every time you get hit with a bit not when you get hit, but when you do something stupid and you get caught they always tell you the charge is this long, and it's not really always that long, it's always shorter, right, because you got to fight it and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:I remember I was 17 and they were like oh yeah, like this is a, this is a charge that is going to take you to adult court, yeah, so I was like all right, it is what it is, you know. And at the time they tell you I think it was like, well, just speeding it up. You know, like I had court the next day and my mom couldn't make it. They were kind of shady the way probation did it. They didn't tell my mom what happened, or they told her what happened, but they didn't tell her when I had court or nothing. So I went to court by myself and I didn't have a lawyer and I have anything like I remember like, uh, what's it called? They're supposed to appoint you someone right and public defender.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I remember the public defender didn't even. They didn't have one, they were short staffed. Yeah, it was crazy and I remember I went there and like they're reading me all this shit. They're telling me like, yeah, no, this is a sentence that could uh give you like a minimum of uh, you know, like 10 to 14 years.
Speaker 2:You know, like you, will be like you will be going to to why, uh, cya and stuff, and like at the time I was just, I was careless. I was careless already, I didn't really care anymore. So I was like, all right, you know whatever. And then Went back to the dorms and like I was still in the, I was in the unit With my friends.
Speaker 2:We got caught with Pause, they gave me the spill After court or whatever, and told me Go back to the dorm, go back to the dorm or unit, go back to the unit. So I let all my buddies know, right, I'm like, oh no, that stuff's gonna stick. Like we all know what really happened, you know. I'm like they know I didn't do any of that. I was there, I was involved, but I didn't. I didn't do anything as far as with the weapon or anything, and so they had just told me, like, just fight it, take it to trial, like it might be lengthy, but you'll get out eventually. And so, yeah, that was my life for the next about six and a half months. It was in juvenile hall.
Speaker 1:Did they try you as an adult?
Speaker 2:No, I got lucky. Actually, I got really lucky.
Speaker 1:Without a public defendant.
Speaker 2:No. So, going forward, the DA actually got in trouble because they did that hole. There's a lot of little things that happened that saved me in the long run. So I ended up getting a good lawyer. I remember I got a public defender who had just came. She had just went from being an adult lawyer public defender to a juvenile and she was like a high-profile lawyer, like she actually dealt with those type of charges.
Speaker 2:So I was actually super lucky and I remember they she had said like yeah, that for one I wasn't supposed to be in the court without a parent present, right, so it's like they say, but it's happened before, right. And then, like the fact that they didn't tell my mom and stuff like that, like they were trying to how do they call it? They're basically trying to do all these things to like just to get me stressed, to like pressure me into doing something, into confession, into confessing either confessing and telling on my friends or confessing and taking the rap right away like, oh, yeah, I did do that kind of thing, you know yeah and, uh, she was a super cool lawyer and so no saved your life.
Speaker 2:She did honestly, she did she honestly did so, going through that you know, like I was in the, I was already in the system, you know, week by week, and I remember like it was cold turkey getting sober in there too, that was the roughest part. And I remember like, yeah, I remember it was just like rough in there. It wasn't rough in there Cause it was hard in there, it was just rough Cause it's like coming down from stuff and getting in shape and stuff, cause, like you know, like we, you would work out just to feel good, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Then obviously you know there's fights in there that happen to you. There's always somebody that's trying to especially being a bigger guy. You know there's always someone that's trying to press you yeah there's always someone that wants to see what you're about, and what was the biggest fight that you were in there?
Speaker 2:it was actually with this other dude. I fought this guy maybe like four times. I fought this dude like maybe four times max throughout the. I did eleven and a half months total and we fought. We fought like four times max throughout the. I did 11 and a half months total and we fought. We fought like four times, maybe I think three like the fourth one didn't really count.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But it was, it was intense and it was yeah.
Speaker 1:So they gave you. They gave you 11 months, or how did you end up getting up?
Speaker 2:Well, no, so that big number I told you about, yeah, so throughout the course of the trial and stuff like that, right, just we'll just beat it through because that's like kind of boring. It's not boring, yeah I mean, there's a lot of stuff that happened in between too, you know, but we go, I think we'll get back to it. We can get back to that. But so, basically, long story short, the eyewitness who was a girl. I had went to school with her.
Speaker 2:The only reason she recognized me out of everyone that was there was because we had went to school together yeah so when it came down to like everyone has to show up to court, kind of thing, like the victim showed up and she didn't show up. She didn't show up for three court dates and so the fourth court date was like either she shows up or she's going to end up getting arrested, kind of thing, you know. And what really saved me was that when I finally seen the victim face to face, I don't even remember this, I didn't even remember this guy. It's been so long right, they had asked him. They're like oh, do you recognize the? Do they recognize me? Pretty much, does he recognize?
Speaker 2:me pretty much does he recognize me as the, the assailant or whatever, right? Yeah, I think I said it right and he said no, he's like I don't, he's like I've never seen him before, but from what I'm being told is he's the one that did it and, like you should, like the court, the little courtroom, like was like chattering, like like da was freaking out. They're like what? Like wait, like like you were, like this guy was getting prepped for this, you know yeah, and what were you like?
Speaker 2:how long you were in there for 11 months before that no, I was in there for six months, six months on and off truck, on and off trial and then so you were stressed, the fuck out I wasn't stressed out until the last two court dates. Yeah, until the court date where that happened and then the court date after what was your reaction?
Speaker 1:like what were you the?
Speaker 2:first time no, when he told, when he said he didn't recognize you I mean, when you're in there, you have to, you have to be stone-faced yeah because your reaction, the judge will go based off of it, and they could, that could, throw it out too, you know yeah so I my face was still in the cold, you know, but inside I was doing backflips.
Speaker 2:No, yeah, so whatever happened, right. And then they're like, okay, we'll be back next week, we'll be back next week for the last court date. And that's the court date where I was going to get sentenced officially, right, and I didn't know where I was going to go. All these things were on the window, you know, they were talking about adult going. They were talking about the lawyer was telling me that they were thinking about dropping the case and then the adult court was going to pick it up and then redo it. Then I'd go to. I'd be because I'd go to the adult court then and it'd be like all over again, right.
Speaker 2:And then she was talking about how they could just completely dismiss it and like I'd go home that day or there's just a lot of a lot of the what ifs. You know a lot of what ifs kind of things. But at the end of the day I knew they didn't have shit, you know. And so court came and it was weird, cause usually like courts like in the morning, it's like the week you're up at like seven, you go to court by eight. Right, you go to court by 8, right? I remember they had pulled me to the interview room and it wasn't my lawyer, it was actually it was a DA's assistant. And the DA's assistant showed me some mug shots and stuff and they were from some of my friends and they were like we know, that you didn't do it.
Speaker 2:They told me right yeah.
Speaker 1:It's confidential. Obviously.
Speaker 2:This is like a year yes, almost a year and they're like okay, we know you didn't do it yeah you know, crazy that's such yeah, and then they started showing me mug shots and, like, the mug shots were people that you know were there yeah and like he was, like he told me straight up. He was like the case will get dismissed, you can go home, but it's gonna stay open, and like we're gonna keep looking for who really did it yeah and I was like, okay, maybe I got played.
Speaker 2:You know, thinking back on it, maybe maybe they did play me in that aspect, because I don't think they would have done shit about it. And then so, but then he was like and then my lawyer came in and then she was like, yeah, she's like we can or she's all. Then she came in and then they're like you can either take a plea deal, you'll take a juvenile strike, and then you know, obviously all this restitution and shit is going to go to you, right, cause the dude was in the hospital for like a little while. All this restitution and shit is going to go to you, right, because the dude was in the hospital for like a little while. And then they told me, like you'll go to James Boy's ranch for anywhere from, like I don't know. I think the minimum was like six months to 12 months, right, or that's the max, six to 12. And so I was just like.
Speaker 2:I was like, once I seen the mugshot, I was like fuck. I was like all I seen the mug shots, I was like fuck. I was like, all right, I'll make the case mine. So I pleaded guilty. I took the case. You know, I took the strike. I had already the strike prior from the drug charge, so I had to do this my second year and I was striked out and I was just like fuck it, you know like it is what it is, and at least I had an end date now.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like I knew I had anywhere between six to eight months to get out and I was like that was like the best thing, best thing ever in there, right. But looking back on it, I probably got played. I probably should have just said I didn't see anything and just let it get dismissed. Yeah, because at the end of the day, they didn't really know shit. Anyways, you took the fall, but I took the fall. Yeah, I took the fall. I took the fall for the crime and the restitution. Financially. It was about 30 grand in restitution because I had to pay for all the guys' hospital bills. Yeah, so keep this in mind I'm out or this is still going on when I get out, right, so fast forward. I think it was April of April 2000, 2011, april 2011 or 12. No, april 2012, because Jade was born October, october 2012.
Speaker 2:And when you're in the James boys ranch, you get to go home on the weekends, right, as long as you have like a good program. Well, once you get close to your end date that's what they call it Do you? Do you and I was called D and like de-insti what's it called De-insti? Like when you're in there for so long? Right, yeah, they want to like get Weaning you off, wean you back into the regular world, right what they call, even though you're youth, you know. So I remember, obviously you know my mom already knew, like me and Marina were together for a long time, whatever right. And so obviously you know we had jade.
Speaker 2:You know, yeah, when I got pregnant while I was like halfway in, halfway out, yeah, and so the day I got out was the day I had court, too, to find out how much restitution it was. Yeah, I was eight, I was, uh, 18 years old, right, I was like fuck, I had turned, I had turned 18 in there. Actually, I believe I had turned 18 in there. Actually I believe, yeah, I turned 18 in there. And so I remember, when they let me out, I had to go to court and then, from the court, they gave me back to my parents, even though I was considered an adult at the time, right. And so in my head, like I'm like dude, I'm getting out, can't wait. You know, obviouslyina's been with me the whole time. You know we're having, we're having a kid and stuff, like we're.
Speaker 2:you know things are going, things are looking good right now yeah and then they hit me with the restitution bill and they're like oh, it's x amount. It was like I think it was. At the end it was like maybe 26 grand. And I'm like, holy shit, like I got a job through the James Boy's Ranch. I was only making like maybe. Like even once I got out I was like how much 26 grand.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 26 grand, okay, that's how much it was. Then yeah, well, it's already paid off. But, um, but the James Boy's Ranch had gotten me a job through, uh, safeway, and then that's me a job through Safeway. And then that's when I worked at Safeway, I was only making like 300 bucks a week minimum wage, you know, I think 40-hour work week was like 400 bucks max. And so I had the whole 26 grand restitution baby. And then, like it was a lot, and then I was trying to go to college too. You know, like I did try to go to college for a little bit, I did.
Speaker 1:I did a semester and a half here at Gav while on probation and stuff, and yeah, that shit was rough.
Speaker 2:So at this point, you were.
Speaker 1:I need to change my life around.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, because of the Because, because I knew I was having Jade. Not Because I knew I was having jade, not just because I knew I was having jade, but I had this girl that was waiting for me this whole time, Like I had. I finally had positives.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like, why ruin them? You know, yeah, it's been a while since I had positives. Why ruin them?
Speaker 1:A lot of people don't make that switch. You know what I mean. Mean a lot of people don't they're like fuck it.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, I was clean and sober too. You know, pretty sure, if I wasn't clean and sober, I probably wouldn't have thought that way yeah I had been off so much like I'd been.
Speaker 2:Keep in mind it's been 11 months cold turkey, yeah yeah and then I got out and stuff like that worked and everything still was fucking around, still doing stupid shit. What was we doing? I wasn't doing drugs, though, but I was doing other stuff. You know, yeah, I was trying to make money, and I remember I was, yeah, I was fucking all the way up until jade was born. And then I remember jade was born and, yeah, it just changed after that yeah, you flipped the script yeah like why?
Speaker 1:why do you think you flipped the script?
Speaker 2:well, it just went from like I didn't always have my dad like in my life, you know. So I was like I got this little girl, I'm looking, I'm looking at her, you know yeah like I gotta be there, kind of thing, yeah that's sick dude.
Speaker 1:Like was it like a full switch, like what?
Speaker 2:no, it was a full switch. Yeah, yeah, it was a full. Like I'm gonna take care of my family, yeah yeah that's what I've been doing.
Speaker 1:And then when did you like? This is exactly why, like, I wanted to have you on. Like that's fucking crazy, that whole, that whole your youth.
Speaker 2:You didn't have a childhood no, I never went to prom. Everyone's uh shit yeah never even went. I think I went to one high school dance, maybe two, two max making more money than all your friends like well at the time yeah, yeah, before I'm saying yeah, at the time it was, it was like you were already working.
Speaker 1:You weren't supposed to be doing what you're doing.
Speaker 2:But yeah, at the time I had a job, so I was the one making money, yeah yeah but it kind of made my peers well. At least I think I think it kind of did. I think it made a lot of my peers want to like do their get jobs too and stuff but I, I'm, I meet you when you're, when you're you haven't got the end of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like that's just gone, really yeah, but your values, that you have pretty strong values, like you're a family man, you you're loyal. I never hear you talk bad about anybody, even sometimes when you do. When you don't like somebody, you're kind of like I'm not going to say anything. You have really strong values. Was this learned over time? Yeah, because, from what you say, your dad wasn't really there. Your mom wasn't a single mom and the only people that were around you weren't the good influences. And now standing standing in front of me is a dude that his values are fucking good compared to people that that probably had great upbringings and and money and went to college. And I was like, what gave you those values? What do you think changed?
Speaker 2:Honestly, just experiencing all the negatives firsthand.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Honestly, Because you meet all sorts of people you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And there's a lot of people that want the best for you and there's a lot of people that will fake that they want the best for you. And I think, just collecting everything over the years, just meeting people, hearing people Because I've heard people's stories too. I always tell this to my wife when you vent your problems to people, it's always an out for someone to be like, oh shit, like my life's not that bad. You know what I mean. That sounds fucked, that sounds fucked up, but it's the truth and it's a it's. That's one of the best things I can say that, like I've learned throughout, everything is like there's always people that have it worse than you do. There's always people that have it better than you. It just depends on what you do with it.
Speaker 2:You know, and like how you said, you know, the way you see me is like that's what I want my kids to see in us. That's what I want them to base when they're growing up and stuff they get in their relationships or whatever happens. You know, that's what I want them to base when they're growing up and stuff they get in their relationships or whatever happens. That's what I want them to see. Like, hey, you know what Things weren't probably the best or we didn't have everything, either because I'm not rich right now, either Me and my wife do good for ourselves, but I feel like fuck. I feel like I feel like those are like learning early morals and values, like you said. If you don't teach those to a youth right away, they'll learn the good, the bad and the ugly from anybody. Yeah, and I kind of just went through it all. I think Not through it all, because I never went through adult prison or anything like that. I never went through that. But you just kind of see things for what they are, I guess, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because when you're a young kid going through that whole trial thing and stuff like that, I honestly felt like I didn't get seen as like a young kid. That was like spiraling out of control. I just seen it as like this is a kid that we need to try for something that he did, you know, and that's that's kind of how, like, I take things going forward. It's like your first impression is a lasting impression, you know, and that's that's that's like the most important thing you can do when you meet somebody Be yourself right away and just come correct right away, you know, yeah, because I mean when we first met each other, I could have been if I was an asshole and stuff like that. I'd be like, hey, that guy's an asshole.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Like, I hope that makes sense and then, when we first met, we sparred and you're like fuck this guy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you know that just comes with the. That's the beauty of MMA. You know, like you get humbled and like when I get humbled I'm like fuck dude, this guy's kind of pissed me off. But then it's like, no, I need this. And then, like now I consider you one of my good friends, you know, and like it's like I feel like the whole martial art thing is like it's a, it's a good window that opened up a lot of doors for me and going into that like when did you start doing martial arts?
Speaker 1:so it's 2019 so you were 28, it's 25, 25 no, I was thinking I was 25.
Speaker 2:25 yeah, because was it? I'm 30 right now yeah and it was what five years ago? Yeah, I'll do the math. Yeah, so I was 25, 26. Yeah, yeah, I was 25, 26 no, no.
Speaker 2:Athletic background no, I played soccer going up. Okay, I played soccer for a long time, like like six years. I actually hated it. Yeah, I hated it. That was my mom's out for me to stay away from the streets, you know, was keep me in a sport. Yeah, and I hated it. I hated soccer. I was never good at it either. A lot of people that I probably played with will agree too.
Speaker 1:I played soccer and then, obviously, when I got out soccer and then obviously when I got out, I was in shape and stuff, right from all the push-ups and pull-ups and dips and shit, but there were still five years, from from 20 to yeah.
Speaker 2:So from that gap, I was just lifting weights. I was like lifting weights, I was like power lifting and doing like like we're always in the gym. Me and my wife were in the gym. I went on like a huge like that was. That was another way to stay on the right track, too, was having like a structured program, because that's what I learned from in there. You know, I was like if you have a program, it's hard to keep you off off of, it's easy to keep you like busy and away from like things that aren't like motivational and stuff like that right yeah or are unhealthy, right, and so, yeah, we used to go to the gym all the time, I think we were like in the gym like five days out of the week and we were always working out.
Speaker 2:And then when I got into mma, it was like during covid and this was like way after. So I was like, and I went through a period too where, like, I gained a bunch of weight and I was kind of depressed and I was like I think I was like 290, I think, when I joined Andogs. Yeah, I was a big dude. I was a big fat dude, but I wasn't fat. I guess I carried it well.
Speaker 2:And then I met Coach Ant and Coach Ant I've had a few coaches throughout my life, you know mentors and stuff throughout the system too. And, like, coach Hans was a solid dude. You know he's from Gilroy and I could tell you know, like there's things we could relate to, you know, and I remember I was just. I remember I used to do personals with him all the time. I remember my first day with him, right, he had me doing a footwork drill, dude. I was like 290, right, 280, 290. And I think I was like 290, right, 280, 290. And I think, like I think it was like he had me do forward drills for like a, like a bell on, bell off, kind of thing.
Speaker 2:And I remember that first bell was just dying I was like dying and I was like dude, I was like how, like how do I get, how do I get this? Bad, you know. And then I kept doing personals, personals, and then finally coach was just like, hey, you know what, like the gym's going to open back up, like COVID's kind of like going down, like just start doing the classes and then like we'll go from there, you know. And I remember like he used to invite me to do jiu-jitsu. That's when I first met like Tom and like a few people, you know, and I remember I first came and I remember.
Speaker 2:I was like, yeah, I'm the big dude bro. Like I didn't think that when I walked in, but that's what I thought in my head, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you came from going to the youth to the ranch fighting, fighting a guy four times. Yeah, like you have already been in fights, yeah, so like.
Speaker 2:I kind of thought like I knew what was going on, you know, yeah. And then I fought in the street and stuff too, you know, but I remember I walked in. It was Jiu Jitsu day, right, and I walked in.
Speaker 2:I was like fuck dude, I was getting just destroyed by like guys that were like smaller than me, and I remember like just getting destroyed. I remember I was just like in my head I was like you know what I got to get good at this. And then that's where it kind of just I got addicted to doing this now, yeah. And then that's where it kind of just I got addicted to doing this now, yeah, and I was just like and now, you know, it's been like what's 2009?
Speaker 2:it's been like six years now 2019 2019, yeah yeah so it's been like what?
Speaker 1:like six, six years or so and you're a blue belt right, I'm a blue belt jiu-jitsu. Yeah, now you're taking on more striking, you're not more striking thanks to thanks to jesse.
Speaker 2:We're striking Thanks to Jesse. But now MMA has been like a huge thing because, like I mean, my patience level isn't the greatest as it is, but like once I got into the MMA and like the whole like being more patient, seeing like kind of like taking a step back and seeing things for what they are, kind of thing Like it's helped out a lot, cause like it helps out, it helped out all around with everything. Yeah, yeah, cause like you, just I feel like you can't always just be like explosive, you gotta like you gotta just take things calmly now, but I feel like MMA like had a huge thing with that, you know yeah, and then you're like around the one thing I like about here and dogs because you're around pro athletes that literally do this for a living.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then you're on the mat with them and then you're you're going to work and have raising the family and you're getting like you're looking at these guys that are fucking do it for a living and they're calm. They're the most calmest people like coach hans like super calm.
Speaker 2:Coach has super calm, so that's super tempered yeah.
Speaker 1:So this is. This is like. You're like, oh, I can't like my head. I look at when I before I started training and I look at pro athletes now and I'm like, oh, they could whoop my ass, but why are they so calm? You know it's a, but you are like I feel like you're one of the calmest big dudes I've I've met, but you, you brought your family. You brought your family into this too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I brought my, my kids into it. So once the whole covid thing was going on, coach reopened the kids class. I told my wife I'm like, yeah, I just want the kids to. Well, I saw how coach is with his kids, you know yeah like with jojo and alexa.
Speaker 2:You know, and like you know, coach coach is a good dad, you know, you can tell, you can see his kids are good kids too. You know, and I figured you know what, like once he told kids are good kids too. You know, and I figured you know what, like once he told me that the kids classes were starting. I was like you know, I'll get my kids into this too. See how it goes, you know, see if they like it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And you know plus, you know I don't want my like not, obviously not. They're older, they don't come here, like as long as they do a sport or they're in the act like a physical gym, like I don't care as long as they're active.
Speaker 2:You know, yeah, because I don't want them just home on their devices. But no, I brought the kids along, along, and then I mean the kid, the kid, the kids do really, the kids do really well. You know, jade does a good, know, jade does a good job, ivan does a good job. I mean you know Ivan's, he's a character.
Speaker 1:He's a character, yeah.
Speaker 2:He's wild you know, I see myself a lot in both of them together, you know, because I was 50-50. I was like timid like Jade, and then I was wild like Ivan and then kind of of like, throughout the youth I was just more wild. Like the timidness went away. But I mean, but the yeah, the kids like it, you know yeah and it's been good.
Speaker 2:You know, like I'm not gonna lie, it's been, it's been, it's been really good. I'm actually glad I found. I found this gym and like jujitsu and stuff, and then just the whole like I mean we're all cool with everybody in here. You know, like yeah, like toast is always on my ass to come train, like you're telling me, hey, if I'm in here and they're striking, you're like why aren't you in striking class?
Speaker 2:you know, you know and it's like, like everyone it's. It's different being around a bunch of people that want everyone to do better and that, in its own self, is like an addicting thing, you know, because it's like this is a huge comfort zone. It's like you come here and like you know, everyone's here for the betterment of each other, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's. I feel like that's hard to find in general.
Speaker 1:Would you say it's something that you needed as a kid.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure, yeah for sure, yeah, Like, can you imagine? Like, like, looking back at it now, like going full circle, like where you're at now and then where you were, like was it like you told me before this? You told me before this, like I don't know why you want to podcast with me like kind of like just didn't really know what kind of story you had. Sometimes I think you don't even think that your story is rare. But it's like looking back at it now, after you said it all, how do you feel about it?
Speaker 2:It's a little wild, it's a little wild, you know.
Speaker 2:It's a little wild. I mean I don't think any youth should go through that, but I mean it happens, you know. No for sure, definitely, and this isn't just me, it's like any youth in general. It's all about a support system. You know, I think that's the most important thing. A youth has to have a of support system. You know, yeah, I think any that's the most important thing. Like you have, a youth has to have a strong support system, because if not, it's like like when you're an adult, it's like you kind of know, like hey, like at the end of the day, like I gotta do this, this, and that you know when you're a youth, it's like you don't gotta worry about bills you're gonna worry about. You know, we're really about anything.
Speaker 2:You know, I mean like you're just living life when you're used yeah I think I did that a lot, you know, no for sure.
Speaker 2:Like if I had a good support system, you know, like I think it would have been definitely different because I was, I mean, the same thing like mma jiu-jitsu, everything. I'm a huge knucklehead, you know, like a huge stubborn guy and like you probably don't see that, but it's like this definitely helped big time. Yeah, because, like I mean, I could still be like that too. My wife will. My wife will attest to it all day I just find it.
Speaker 1:I find it super crazy because, like all these things, all these values, you're talking about the support system. As a kid, you had none of that and then now, as an adult, you instill that and everything you do, and then into your family yeah, you have to.
Speaker 2:You got to live by it. You know what I mean? Yeah, you gotta live by it, because that's just. You just have to live by it. I mean, don't get me wrong, when I was a youth I did have a support system. I I had a somewhat decent one, right, or I guess you couldn't say decent. I did have people that wanted to steer me in the right direction, but at the same time there was a lot of judgment, judgment to them yeah a lot of like it wasn't like necessarily positive either, you know.
Speaker 2:So I think that's what kind of would make me, as a youth, spiral more into like that eff it like fucking kind of mindset, you know. But no, as an adult now, you know, and a young, well, somewhat young dad, like my daughter's 12, you know, she's going to be 13. And it's like I remember I tell my wife this all the time, you know, like the things with me, because she comes from a broken home too, you know, she, her story is just, she has a rough story too, and I feel like that's why we're so. We just fit like a puzzle piece so well. Yeah, because we share the same trauma, almost, you know, and I remember we talked to each other.
Speaker 2:I'm like dude, like think what we were doing when we were 12? Like what the fuck? You know, Like here I am, you know, Like I let my daughter go hang out with her friends. You know, like I let her do stuff. You know, I don't think she's ever experimented with anything. You know, I hope not, but I honestly have this. Me and my wife both have this like trust relationship or this relationship in general, where, like I feel like she would tell me like I'm doing. I'm doing all right, yeah.
Speaker 1:Like I'm doing all right.
Speaker 2:Like uh, I think I'm doing all right.
Speaker 1:Like what are your goals now?
Speaker 2:My goals now.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:My goal now is to support my kids. Dude, dude, to be honest with you is to get them to wherever they want to go. I honestly don't really think about myself anymore. I'm honestly at that point I've actually been at this point in my life for the last few years to where, like, whatever money we make or anything like that, is to help them. Yeah, cause, like, even when I tried to go to college, like I couldn't afford it, my mom couldn't afford it to help me either, and like I don't want that to be an obstacle for them. You know what I'm saying? Like I don't know. Like, obviously my goals are still train.
Speaker 2:I mean, my biggest goal, to be honest with you, is like I want to be a black belt. Yeah, like, that's my goal. Like I want to be. I want to at least be able to like knock that off the list, be a black belt. I just love jiu-jitsu. I love that. Like, even though I'm not a big as fan of striking like I've, I've gone to like striking a lot more now and I just, yeah, like just to stay, like honestly, stay healthy, and I just want my kids to be better than me. And like, I'm pretty sure I speak for my wife when I say that. But like we can, like we both agree. You know, like we want them to obviously be better than we were. You know, sick Cause, that's, that's the goal. You know, like we want them to obviously be better than we were you know sick, because that's that's the goal.
Speaker 1:You know, like I don't know. Is there any, anything, anything you want to shout out? Anybody like anything?
Speaker 2:to wrap it up, just my wife and kids. You know, shout them out. You know, shout out coach at dog. You know, for, uh, he has played, he has played a major role in like the last like six years of my life. For sure, whether he knows it or not, you know, I don't ever tell him, so that's kind of like a weird area, you know. But you know, shout out to him. You know, seeing everything, you know firsthand.
Speaker 2:And then you know, like for sure you know my wife and kids, you know. And then you know, like for sure you know my wife and kids. You know, because without my wife being there being my main my wife was my main support system throughout my youth and early adult. So we're like, if she wasn't around being so supportive, like putting herself to the side to make sure my mental health was fine, like we probably wouldn't be here either. You know, yeah. And then obviously, like the kids, you know they're.
Speaker 2:If I didn't have them as a why, because everybody always says you know yeah. And then obviously, like the kids, you know they're if I didn't have them as a why, cause everybody always says you know what's your why, like I'm sure you've heard that Like like, why do you do this, why do you do that? Or you know why do you work two jobs or whatever. Right, you know, if probably wouldn't have so much discipline, probably wouldn't have those values. But you know, thankfully, you know, I have a, I have three, I have three whys in my life that you know the best thing, best thing ever, you know cool.
Speaker 1:Hey, thank you ivan. Yeah, you do have a story dog little story. Appreciate you, man.