287. If Awareness Creates Free Will, What Are You Choosing Today

This week was a solo where I talked about things that are on my heart and mind lately. 

In this episode, I talk about:

• Expanding consciousness
• Being able to witness the self
• Nervous system regulation 
• Escapism as human nature  
• Aligned action for change 
• The technology of the body 

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Email: info@rochellechristiane.com

Transcript

Welcome And Core Intent

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Welcome to the Rochelle Christian Podcast. I'm Rochelle, your host. I'm here to help you come back to your body, take charge of your emotions, and live life on your terms. This podcast is a space for raw, real conversations about what it means to trust yourself, lean into your power, and create a life that feels aligned and alive. We'll explore human design, astrology, and other tools to help you understand your unique energy. More importantly, though, we're gonna talk about what it means to actually live and embody these aspects. So each week I'm gonna share stories, lessons, guidance to help you navigate life's challenges and really own your magic. So if you're ready to step up, take control, and show up as the most authentic version of you, let's begin. As above, so below, as within, so without. These are core principles of the law of correspondence. When we look at astrology, when we look at philosophy, when we look at spirituality, we're all seeking to find our place in the universe, in the cosmos, in the order of things. We want things to make sense for us. We want to understand our role. And I've been diving into deeper, we can say philosophical texts, understandings. Because in my exploration and in my journey of healing, you know, that core question, who am I? Right? Who am I? We are there, are spiritual texts that say we are God experiencing itself, herself, himself. And one of the core things that we need to understand when we're healing is to create awareness. And there needs to be a sense of separation in order to see ourselves as we are, right? We have to find a way to separate ourselves from the mind, from the ego, from the emotional experience, from feelings, right? Emotions are sensations in the body, physical sensations in the body, and feelings are the mind attaching meaning to the emotions. So in order to witness our patterns, ourselves, we have to find a way to separate. And nervous system regulation is a core theme in that. If we are dysregulated, if we are consumed by our emotions, it's very difficult to see our patterns. It's very difficult to see beyond our reaction to things. They say that when you begin to wake up, when you create awareness, when you elevate your consciousness, right, you then begin to have free will. Because if you're simply in response mode to everything, you have no free will because you're just allowing your responses, your reactions, your emotions, your ego to just guide your life. And it's almost like you're on autopilot. And we know that the subconscious is 95% of our day, our responses, our reactions, our thoughts, it's motivated by the unconscious, by the subconscious. So the question then is how do we even begin to open our minds, to awaken, to do things differently when so much of us, when so much of our day-to-day patterns and habits and routines and rituals and thoughts and feelings are run by our subconscious beliefs, right? From that zero to seven year age range. How do we begin to create awareness? How do we begin to separate in order to allow ourselves free will, in order to come to a place where we can witness and understand and observe our patterns? And as I've been navigating things lately, the last 2025 started out fine and then got really challenging. Everything fell away, honestly. I mean, full transparency. The business just felt like it was crickets. It was like I was speaking to an empty room. And I kept asking, what am I missing? What what am I where am I forcing? What am I not seeing? How am I not showing up correctly? Where am I not stretching myself? How am I not like moving past this piece? Like, how am I not further along? It also gave me an opportunity to come closer to myself and just be good with who I am. But with that came a place of complacency where I began in July to meditate twice a day every day. Um, I began to really get serious about my journaling practice. I stopped drinking for five months or so. And this is something I've witnessed or something I've observed over the course of the last, oh my gosh. Um, I can't remember when I first gave up alcohol for a full year. I think it was maybe 2021, 2022, maybe. Um, yeah, it might have been 2022. For a full year, I gave up alcohol. And I say to you, like sometimes we're healing so hard that it's counterintuitive, right? I think that we want to change, we want to shift, we want our life to look different. And so we focused so hard on the healing, on the growing, on the changing, on the, you know, giving up alcohol for me that first year was allowed me to set a new baseline for what actually felt good in my body. It brought me closer to my body. And also, I isolated myself majorly in that year. I didn't go out, I didn't really do anything. My small social circle came to like zero. I, it was a really challenging year in a lot of ways, and I'm so grateful for it. And also, it kind of showed me that whether you're drinking or not drinking, I think the point is to be present. The point is to understand why, right? Am I escaping reality? Am I escaping life? Which sure, sometimes it's, you know, we do, we all have a means of doing that, whether it's alcohol or scrolling or fitness or whatever it is, right? We all have a means and a way of escaping because I think it's just human nature to want to take yourself out of your circumstances for a short period of time, right? We are wired to avoid pain. And, you know, the saying, pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. So we are wired to avoid it, and yet we find ourselves enmeshed in it always, right? Pain is inevitable. Like we have, I was on the treadmill the other day, which is always like at the gym when I'm, you know, gym or shower when all of my downloads come to me. But I was thinking of pain, right? And I was like, why do we feel pain? And of course, you know, we can go down religious avenues of Eve and um those trains of thoughts, which I don't necessarily subscribe to, but I was just contemplating this. Like, why do we feel pain? Like, why do we feel such intense physical pain? Not even talking emotional, right? Which is like physical pain. Like, why do things have to hurt so much? Like, if I break my arm, like why does it hurt so much, right? Like, what is the point? And this download, I guess, this thought, this knowing came through, and it was like pain reminds us that we're alive. Pain reminds us that we don't want to die. Because if we felt no pain, the choice to exit would be effortless as the words that it's coming to me, but there's a deeper word that I'm reaching for that's not coming. But if we're experiencing first of all, contrast, right? Which emotional pain provides contrast. We see what we don't want, we see what we do want. Emotionally, from that lens, I think it's actually a beautiful thing, but we don't want to get stuck in the suffering, right? I find myself to be most creative when I'm experiencing emotional pain. It provides contrast. I can see how beautiful, you know. I was watching Stranger Things with my son last night, and we're watching the end of it. If you haven't seen it, I will not give too many spoilers, but watching the end of watching somebody who feels intense love for someone and know that they're losing them, like it's this dualistic pain of and beauty in it that you care and you love someone so deeply that the idea of them not being in your life is just leaves a hole in your chest, right? Like whether someone is dying or whether it's the end of a relationship or whether you're just losing something, maybe a friendship fell off. There's this deep, like well of sadness and grief. And and I think sometimes we don't allow us, allow ourselves to fully experience that, which is actually really beautiful to feel that depth of pain because it shows us that we're alive, it shows us that we care, it shows us that we love as an emotional being in human design. When I encounter people who aren't emotional in that sense, which doesn't mean they don't feel, but when people don't have a depth of emotions, a depth of feeling to the extent that I do, I am simultaneously envious because I'm like, what would it feel like to not feel like this all the time? And it also makes me a little sad, where I wonder what a world would look like if I didn't feel this deeply? Would colors be as vibrant? Would music be as enjoyable? Would love be as deep? Would parenting come with so much sorrow and grief and joy and love and excitement and pride and everything? Would just taking a walk outside and feeling the air on my skin feel as connected, spiritually connected, would I even understand what that means? Right. And it's not to say that if you don't feel in that that deeply that you don't have these thoughts or feelings, like, but on a consistent basis, I used to hate feeling like this. I used to hate, I would literally, I would get in an emotional whatever and spiral, and I would say that in my head of like, I hate that I feel like this, I hate that I experience this, I hate this feeling. Like that was on loop so often. I hate this feeling. And as I've gotten older and as I've learned to detach from the mental narrative that gets stuck on those things and just be with the emotion and and that I can see that when I'm feeling heartbroken, there's actually love. There's so much love there. I can look at the experience that I had and understand how much love was there, how much joy was there, how much excitement was there. And yes, it is so painful when something ends. But can we look at what was and know that that's possible again? And again, with age, with experience, with experimentation with astrology, with all these things, I've come to a different perspective of it. And now, in those moments where I'm feeling so intensely, and my mind wants to say, hate this feeling, I can switch it up and say, I love that I get to feel this deeply in life. I love that I get to experience life through this lens. But going back to the pain, aside from emotional pain, what came to me while I was on the treadmill was that physical pain reminds us that we want to be alive. Because if we felt no physical pain, first of all, we'd walk it, be walking around with, you know, no fingers, no toes, because we'd be touching hot flames. And, you know, there's obviously an element of caution that pain provides us, you know, which steers us back to safety. But if there was no pain, like just jumping off a cliff or walking in front of a car, it would be nothing. We would just do it because we wouldn't feel it and it's oh, you know, like okay. Or just so it reminds us that we want to be alive. And I believe I've never had a near-death experience, but I believe that when death is actually there for you, the pain goes away, right? But yeah, I don't know. That that idea of pain has always kind of been a question that I've that I've thought of. Like, why do things have to hurt so much? Like, I understand the caution and the warning, and like, don't put your hand on hot flames, but it's like, why does it have to hurt so much? Can't it just be like a discomfort, a mild discomfort? But I think that what I'm learning as I'm navigating this journey is comes down to like asking the right questions, opening your mind to potentials, possibilities, you know, the page card or the page, yeah, the page card in the tarot really reminds us to come to things from a new perspective and from a beginner's perspective. How can we approach things from a beginner's perspective? I love when people ask me, you know, when it comes to astrology, like basic things, and it brings me back to that beginner mindset, those questions that people are asking, those questions that we have. Or when I approach a new subject, like, oh my gosh, philosophy is sort of my new thing, but it's like it blows my mind in like the most beautiful way. But also, I'm sometimes just like, I feel so unintelligent when I try and grasp some like philosophical um concepts. But I also have Chiron in Gemini in my 11th house. So this is a really big area of my wounding. I was not the best student in school, and I just felt dumb, you know, for a lot of my life. And so I overcompensated with reading and, you know, spiritual readings. Like nothing. I mean, now over the last two years, I've started reading fantasy again, which has really sparked my creativity and I love that. But outside of that, all I read is philosophy, psychology, astrology, spirituality, like these are I'm fascinated with them and I want to understand all of it. But I do think that asking the right questions is the thing, I guess is you know, it's like okay, so who am I? That I think there are some core questions we're all asking in life. Who am I? What is my purpose? What am I here to do? How can I provide? Like, how can I be of service? Um but I think the big, big one is who am I and what is my purpose? We want to feel like we have meaning in life. We want to feel, you know, connection is a huge one too, right? Relationship is huge. We want to feel connected to others and we want to feel like we're we're here for a reason. And sometimes it's just, you know, I think about my journey, and it's really interesting because a lot of my biggest shadows are me playing out the dualistic nature of my being, if that makes sense. So in numerology, my life path number is eight, which is, you know, money. This is material, this is success. My son is in the 10th house in astrology, which kind of is the same thing. It's your public persona, it's your career. And so theoretically, as a son in a 10th house sun, like I should be shining on the stage. Not like as an actor, not the Leo archetype, but I should be shining in my career, I should be shining in what I choose to do, I should be shining in the public eye, that kind of thing. Um and yet I feel like I'm not doing those things. And I know that because that's frustrating to me, that's where I'm supposed to be moving towards. And we get so caught up in these narratives. And I truly do believe too that we choose our family. We choose our soul, it chooses our experiences. And so, for whatever reason, I've had to go through these experiences. And also, I know that in order to shift my reality, I have to do something different, right? I can sit here and meditate all day, every day, right? I might as well go to a cave and be a monk if that's what I'm going to do. But to actually make real change, like, yeah, it's great to have a regulated nervous system, like for sure. But also, with so much chaos in my chart, with so much intensity in my chart, I am not meant to just be sitting here meditating all day. I am meant to be facilitating. I am meant to have discomfort. I am meant to go do those things now, not to be dysregulated in constant stress. So the regulation practices are crucial and important for me to go out and make change and do things that are uncomfortable because then I have the practices in place to come back to. On Instagram, if you don't follow me on Instagram, head over. The link is down below. I'm doing a 28-day live uh challenge for myself, which I do every single year for all of February. So today we're on day 10. Uh, I'm recording this on the 10th, but so today is day 10. And the focus of this month, the theme, is from the mind into the body. Embodiment, nervous system regulation is key. And also, if we're not taking action, if we're not doing things differently, like you can't, what is the saying? You can't heal in the same place that you were hurt, or you can't. Um, there's a specific quote that I'm thinking of and it's not coming to me, but you have to do something different. And this is the biggest challenge, I think, for a lot of us is the actual action piece. You know, sitting in my room by myself meditating, yes, it's challenging because I'm forced to like stop my thoughts and I have to discipline my body to sit there for however long and to consistently show up and do it, even when I don't feel like doing it. Like, yes, there's there's it holds its own challenges. But me sitting alone in my room meditating is a little bit easier than putting myself in space, you know, in places and spaces that are uncomfortable for me. And so I have rejoined a network marketing company. And what I love about network marketing for me personally and a lot of people is that, you know, it is what you make it. So it's not like you're going to a job and you're getting a set salary and you have a set amount of, you know, rules and regulations and things that you have to do, like tasks that you have to accomplish during your day, and you know, whatever. You have to show up for yourself. And it's so confronting because it's like the things that you have to do. First of all, you have to be so obsessed with the product because I think that if you're just doing it for the for the paycheck, which applies to anything, whether it's astrology, whether it's, you know, you're in tech, whether like whatever, I do believe that the people who are best at their jobs truly do enjoy it, right? There is, there is love for it in some way. And of course we can lose that. And besides the point, but specifically when you are like an entrepreneur or network marketing, whatever, which is a form of entrepreneurship, essentially. You are, you know, creating your own business within. Um, using a product. Um, but it's really confronting because if you're not gonna show up for yourself and if you're not going to be disciplined enough to show up in the ways that make connections and all those things, like it's not just like gonna come to you. And I think that for me in business, in as an entrepreneur, that has actually been the most challenging thing because I'm constantly fighting my conditioning. My conditioning has been to just be quiet. Nobody wants to hear what you have to say. Just be good. Sit there and be good. Don't don't speak up, don't say that thing. And so I'm constantly fighting this internal narrative of what's comfortable for me and what I've always done, and being asked to show up in a different way. Like I was talking to one of my mentors yesterday, and she was like, You have to reach out to people because you can talk about it all day, but people aren't going to flood into your DMs, right? I think that we want things that are easy. And this is a conversation I was having with somebody yesterday, that we want to just take the pill and lose the weight. We want to, you know, there's always just like we want the quick fixes. We don't want to put in the time to go to the gym to get a healthy body. We don't want to take the time to cut to cut out the processed foods to get a healthy body. We don't want to, it's like the things that we know work. This is why I say it's it's simple, but it's not easy. Because the way to health, the way to alignment, the way to like just being happy, like it's all simple, but it's not easy for so many various different reasons. Connection, showing up, eating right, moving your body, getting enough sleep, drinking enough water, like these things are literally free and will help us on the path of like alignment, understanding our purpose, being so connected with ourselves, being so connected with other others, but yet it's for some reason the hardest thing for us to do, right? Like I go to the gym five, six days a week, and but I love to eat. I'm a Taurus, I love to eat. You know, I'm I'm 99.9% vegan. I do have eggs uh in the morning occasionally before I start my day. Um since I gave up alcohol for that full year, uh, sugar has been a thing, and but we're constantly chasing this dopamine hit. So again, 2025, I've talked about it before. 2025 has taught me discipline. Like, we want the quick fixes, we want the immediate hits of dopamine. This is why we drink, this is why we consume sugar, this is why we do uh like destructive things because in that moment we're getting this hit of dopamine. Like they say with alcohol, you get your biggest hit of dopamine right before your first sip of alcohol. It's the anticipation and knowing, like, I'm about to take a sip of this. That's when you get the biggest hit of dopamine. It's not the second drink, the third drink, the fourth drink, the fifth drink, like certainly not the next day when you feel like shit. It's the moment before you take the first sip, is when you get the biggest hit of dopamine. And so it's just I okay, in my chart, this is something I've been sitting with, and actually, kind of what I wanted to come on here and talk about was the outer planets, and I got sidetracked with all these other questions, these musings, I suppose, that I've been having lately. But I have what's called a T square, which means that I have three planets square to each other and a fourth one missing. So any any sign that is uh so all uh all fixed signs would be if they're in the same degree. So if I have 24 degrees um of Taurus and 24 degrees of Aquarius, those are square. If I have 24 degrees of Aquarius, 24 degrees of Scorpio, those are square, 24 degrees of Scorpio, 24 degrees of Leo, those are square. So fixed, mutable, cardinal. Any, those are all square to each other. So I have in my chart what's called a T-square. So I have Jupiter in Gemini, or sorry, I have Venus in Gemini is square to Jupiter and Pisces, is square to Uranus and Sagittarius. So those are all mutable signs. The only thing that's missing for me is a planet at that same degree in Virgo. And so with T-squares, there's a challenge because you want this fourth energy and it's not there. So it creates this like tension. And so, you know, Venus, Jupiter are benefic planets, and Uranus is, you know, Uranus is unpredictable. It's, you know, it's the great awakener, it's truth. So I have this push-pull. And so Uranus and Sagittarius, from my understanding of it, is that it can be unpredictable, and especially in this T square, right? But there is this energy of delayed gratification almost. If I can delay, especially because of the planets that it's touching, which really have to do with finances. If I can like delay that that instant gratification of like, I'm just gonna buy the purse and it's gonna give me that hit of dopamine, or I'm just gonna do the thing because it's gonna give me that hit of dopamine. If I can like delay that and like set myself up for success, because you know, Uranus is freedom. Uranus doesn't want to be constrained and put into a box and be made to like do certain things that are societally acceptable. However, if I can set myself up for success, then once I get there, I'll the freedom that Uranus is craving, like it'll be limitless. And also, it's so hard to do because this is a T square, right? This is like uh, this is it creates challenge, it creates a tension in my life. And when you have Venus and Jupiter square to each other, it's just like impulsivity. Uh, it's it's like instant gratification, it is splurging, it is excessiveness, it is um yeah, all these things. And so it's just a really interesting. I've just been watching it and witnessing it and in and trying to understand it, especially as the outer planets have been doing their thing. I'm really sitting with them. And my understanding of, you know, sun through Saturn is that we for so long in our history have been sort of more like in survival mode. It's been getting to this place in evolution where, you know, we discovered Uranus in 1781. And this was around the time where our consciousness just like expanded. We understood science in a different way, we understood astrology in a different way, we understood like just so many things shifted for us scientifically in our understanding, um, quantum mechanics, like all of these things like really shifted. And so before this, right, there was just this like evolutionary, and I'm not, you know, an evolutionary psychologist. This is my limited understanding of, you know, the history. I it's another rabbit hole I want to go down, but I'm not gonna get into it now. But we were in more of a survival mood mode, right? And then we got to this point where now, I mean, everything is so easy in the sense that, you know, food. Um, we're in cities where just the touch of a, you know, our phone, the touch of a button gets us so much information, over consumption, overindulgence. I mean, there's, you know, there's just so much now that is comes so easily to us that we don't have to necessarily worry about the survival piece anymore. Like, yes, of course, some of us do. But generally, as, you know, as a whole, as a collective, we don't necessarily have to worry about that survival piece anymore. So it's like now our consciousness has this beautiful ability to expand. And everything is cyclical. So it's like in that expansion, we're understanding the beauty of the technology of the body, of the technology of connecting with nature, which nowadays we're so removed from. We're removed from the healing methods of just putting your feet in dirt and going outside and picking plants and knowing what those plants do for your body and understanding certain things and how they help you in understanding just how water can heal you. We're so quick, again, back to that. We just want to pop a pill and everything to feel better. And there's so many implications, there's so many side effects of everything. It's like, I mean, I I did not watch the Super Bowl, I don't watch the TV, but I know that, you know, the few times that I when I go to my parents' house and they have the TV on, it's just like commercial after commercial after commercial of pills and medicine and weight loss. And it's just like this quick hit, quick fix like culture. And yet, when you watch those, you know, one pill has all these side effects, may feel, and then it's like, you know, the the uh the the auction guy, you know, speaking as quickly as he can to tell you all of the side effects. And then usually when that happens, then you'll take a pill and then there's a side effect, then you have to take another pill and there's a side effect. So it's like you have this slew of medication that you're taking. And I know that Western medicine is beautiful, Western medicine is um it's not preventative. Western medicine is great in emergencies. But I think that we've lost touch with what actually keeps us healthy, what actually keeps our body running, what actually connects us. Like, if we want to know who I am and what is my purpose, if we're not connected to ourself, like nobody's gonna tell you that. Nobody's gonna come in and be like, oh, this is what you're supposed to do. You need to be so connected with yourself that you can understand that, that you can start to see that, that you can connect with that. Right? Like when I was in my when I smoked cigarettes and I drank alcohol and I just partied and I just didn't have the capacity to like, I was just so disconnect, I constantly felt bad and anxious and like all these things. Like, what is my purpose? I don't know, get through the day, like try and feel a little bit better by tonight. Like that was literally, you know, like my life. But now that, you know, things are different for me, there's less, I feel like um, there's more isolation for one, which doesn't always feel the best, but there's more isolation. But I feel like being more connected with myself and tuning into what feels good and what doesn't feel good and what you know, gosh, oh my astrology. I mean, what is your purpose? That's definitely part of it, right? Is understanding that and helping other people understand themselves. Like to me, understanding yourself, like that's my purpose. That you know, that's it. And I think that that combined with being present, and it sounds so cliche and so simple, but when I think about money, because I think you know, we all want money for various different reasons. When I think about money, I do this uh meditation every single morning, and it always asks, like, follow your why down to like what you actually want money for. Like, what does money provide you? And it always comes down to freedom and travel, and travel is freedom in my lens. If I can just get on a plane and go anywhere, I'm so free, right? And so money serves the purpose of freedom. And I also think when you're doing what you love and you really truly are there, also the question of authenticity. Um, I've talked about that a lot before, but authenticity is like how we are here, and this is also why I think it's so important to put our blinders on and truly come into our body to see what aligns with us and what doesn't, because there's so many messages out there of like, you know, it should be easy or there should be flow or when you do what you're love, like yes, like I think it's all true. And also when we're like chasing those things and we're trying to force them, it never really works out, I guess. So we're the more that we're trying to chase and the more that we're trying to force, the more that we're pushing it away. And so, you know, one of the practices that we did this week on the lives, on the IG lives was like coming into your body and just like understanding what like regulation feels like, right? It's peace, it's calm, it's satisfaction, it's expansion. I don't know, like it just feels to me, I think peace is the word when I'm feeling regulated. I'm just like, my body just feels at ease. Like there's no tension, there's no tightness, there's no uh and of course what Uranus teaches us is that we want to strive for change. And change is always challenging because our mind wants to be safe. So there's always going to be an element of discomfort. So it's not we don't want to be in a place of like constant um I think there's a difference between being constantly dysregulated, obviously, and being able to activate your system, but then have the tools to come back and know that what you're moving towards that change is not going to throw your entire like life, you know. Like we need to be able to roll with the changes and regulate our nervous system in the moment. And I think that's where that detachment comes from. We kind of started this conversation a little bit with like being able to separate yourself to see your patterns, to understand yourself in that way, to witness yourself, which is why I think journaling is the most beautiful practice and thing that we can do for ourselves, because it creates so much awareness. Like, I'll sometimes watch myself and I visualize myself just like my higher self, just sitting in a chair, just like relaxed and just watching, right? Like observing my thoughts and observing my feelings and observing my interactions. And she's just chilling. She's like, you know, whenever you're ready, I'm here. Like, we know what to do. We always know what to do. You know, like how many times do you look back in a situation? You're just like, I knew, I knew I shouldn't have done that thing, or I knew I should have done that thing, or I knew. And then we overcomplicate it and we overthink it, and and we don't do the thing, and it's just it becomes this whole big, you know. But if we can just slow down, and this is where astrology is beautiful, right? Like some of us move quickly, some of us move slowly. Like, I have primarily earth and fire in my chart, which is so contradictory, right? It's so dualistic. Like, move slow, like what's that phrase? Um, hurry up and wait. Just kind of what it feels like in my experience, where it's like, let's hurry up and do the thing, but also I'm gonna do it slowly, you know. So um I just I yeah, I will never astrology is 100% part of my purpose and like understanding, you know, and helping others understand. Like for me, one of the one of the uh greatest gifts I think that astrology has given me is understanding my Mercury. Among, I mean, there's so many. This is just like one that's coming to mind because I shared before how I always felt because you know, my Chirons in the 11th house and Gemini, like my mind, my ability to like learn and all that kind of stuff has been has felt um, I just haven't always felt like the smartest person. I'm overcompensated with learning all sorts of stuff. And I know that I can have like really intellectual conversations. And then there's a point where like I don't understand something, and I immediately I'm like, oh, you're dumb, or like, oh, you you're not as smart as you think you are, or like whatever, right? That like internal narrative comes up, but my Mercury is in Taurus. And Mercury in Taurus takes a long time to grasp concepts, and that in itself, like sometimes has me triggered where I'm just like, I don't want to take like if I read something and I don't understand it, I immediately I'm like, oh my gosh, like, am I just why can I not grasp this? But it requires like a slowness to it, right? Because then when I do grasp something, oh, it is like so deep. And I had like, I get it. And so understanding that there's like because my mind is part of my wounding or insecurity, I guess. Understanding that just sort of like frees me up to uh learn at my own pace and not feel like I have to be anywhere, and we're all in our own timeline. And so I'm not sure what the purpose of this conversation was, except to get closer to yourself to unhook from the narratives, which yes, I say that, and it's like, yeah, of course, like that's so easy, but it requires discipline, it requires work, it requires showing up for yourself, and like you're here in this life to experience yourself. Like whether or not you believe that you are God experiencing himself, like itself, herself, um I think that's important to begin your exploration of yourself as an observation. Can you observe yourself? Can you learn yourself through that lens? Your rising sign in astrology is the lens that you view life from, and it's how people perceive you, and it's a part of how you learn yourself, right? Your sun sign in astrology is not who you were born as, it's who you're learning and growing to be in this life. It's what you're moving towards. You're not, don't necessarily born as a Taurus and embody all the Taurus things. Like I feel more in my Taurus energy now, at this point in my life, in my late 30s, than I did in my teens. Like for sure. Your moon is what drives you, it's your emotional drives, but it's also your subconscious programming, right? It's it's your reactions, it's your emotional reactions to things, it's your patterns. And so there's so much depth to it. And I think that we can learn a lot about ourselves through astrology and also remember that astrology is the map, right? It's the blueprint. It's not the actual terrain, it's not the actual territory, it's not the actual object, but it's a map to it. And so it's full of potentials. It's not good, it's not bad, it's not right, it's not wrong. It simply is. And I think with anything, we have to view it from that lens of neutrality. Can you let go of the charge and objectively be view something? Objectively view yourself without being overly attached one way or the other. And I think that's when things really start to move. And if you can get to that point in the things that cause you discomfort, um, then I think change is really possible. And I'm still on this journey. I'm still in my process, in my experiment. But when I look at it from that lens of like, you know, you've seen that reel where it's like somebody on a balcony and it's like you think your problems are big, and then it zooms out and it zooms out and it shows the entire universe, and you're just like, you can't even like see Earth anymore, right? When I have to do something hard, that's kind of what I think about. It's like my stressing over this is dualistic because A, it means absolutely nothing. Like this thing that I'm about to do is pointless, it's not pointless, it's just insignificant in the big scheme of the world. Think about that. Like I'm just like not even a speck, right? And also, it's everything in that moment. It is my life, it is my my experience, it is everything in that moment, and it's nothing. And so I think just like viewing things from that perspective, like makes it a little bit easier, right? There's still challenge, there's still anxiety, there's still hard things to do, there's still the natural fear of judgment or whatever the thing is, but also it really doesn't matter. And I think switching that perspective um in in the little ways, you know. Yeah, I think it's it's I don't know, those are my thoughts. And I hope that this I hope this conversation made sense. This um, I would love to know your thoughts if you want to jump over to Instagram or TikTok or send me an email or however you want to reach me, all the information is is below. You can find me on Instagram at Rochelle.christian. That's R-O-C-H-E-L-L-E dot C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N-E. Everything is the same. So TikTok, uh, YouTube is at Rachelle.christian, Instagram, obviously, um, website, everything is the same. I would love to have an ongoing conversation about this because this is where I'm living these days, is just trying to. Scratch trying. I'm trying all taking trying out of my vocabulary. I'm working, I'm understanding more the power of your words, the power of you know the laws of the universe and presence and all of these things. And this is kind of like where I'm living these days, and it's so fascinating to me. And I think the best teachers are other people, experiences, other people talking to people, and you know, especially astrology, that's the best way to learn it, you know. Um, so I would love to have the conversation ongoing. So those are all the ways you can find me. I hope this uh I don't know, if nothing, maybe just made you think about things differently or just asking different questions or um encourages you to just try uh observing yourself or journaling or something. But um yeah, that's that's that's what I got for you today. So uh I will talk to you next week with another interview, and I cannot remember right now who it is, um, but I will catch you next week. Join me over on Instagram, catch up on all the lives so far. If you want to book an astrology session to understand, you know, how the transits are impacting you and just to like understand yourself a little bit more or remember yourself a little bit more, that is also available down below. AstroDesign Collective is available. We're having a new moon solar eclipse circle the 17th. So if you want to join us, just join Astro Design Collective, monthly membership space, and then Astro Design School, you can join the wait list that launches again in Aries season, so the end of March. And that is a year-long container to really dive deeply and to have support and to explore yourself and to understand yourself through your astrological map. And if you want magic hair care, send me a message as well. Uh, or if you want to join the team of just really incredible women that are ready to support you and help your growth and evolution. All the ways that you can reach me are in the show notes. Thank you so much for listening. I will talk to you.