ClevelandMoto 560 Apprentice Sarah is here, Guzzi days.

VIDEO HERE: 

https://www.youtube.com/live/Q0tgzNIP9g8?si=2T3A2PHPHWbM_6p4

ClevelandMoto Podcast 560 Show Notes: 

Waze rolls out a new Motorcycle Mode for their navigation software. 

https://blog.google/waze/waze-updates-gemini-motorcycle-mode/

Moto Guzzi Days 105 anniversary Sept. 2-6 2026 Grand opening of their new factory. 

https://www.cyclenews.com/2026/07/article/moto-guzzi-world-days-2026-dedicated-to-opening-of-new-museum-and-new-factory/

Enfield 750 Himalayan spotted in the UK. 

https://www.motorcyclenews.com/news/new-bikes/2026/august/royal-enfield-himalayan-750-spy-shots/

Sarah and her Mom and Dad all take (and pass) the MSF Basic rider course. 

Harley has one of their directors buy a Million dollars worth of HOG stock. Is it a vote of confidence, or is it just stock fraud? Doesn't matter, it didn't work and he's now holding a very expensive bag. His Million $ buy bought them a 2 day winning streak. Now they're back to underperforming. 

https://www.fool.com/coverage/filings/2026/08/05/harley-davidson-director-nova-buys-40-000-shares-for-usd983-000-what-does-this-say-about-hog-s-prospects-in-2026/

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:13

Oh, hey. Welcome to the Cleveland Moto Podcast. We got numbers.

SPEAKER_04 0:19

Hey, we got numbers. It's episode number 560 of the Cleveland Moto Podcast. Light 'em up, boys. And girl.

SPEAKER_02 0:27

And girl. Yay. There was much rejoicing.

SPEAKER_04 0:31

And not the biggest podcast we've ever had, but my God, it's not the size, it's the quality. To my immediate left, we have Silent Dan. And to his left.

SPEAKER_05 0:42

Steve Sleepy.

SPEAKER_04 0:43

And to his left. Johnny Mack. And to his left.

SPEAKER_07 0:47

Sarah Smith.

SPEAKER_04 0:48

And behind the bar today.

SPEAKER_07 0:49

Tom Pennington. Yay! I just realized we have a Smith in the corner still. We do still have a Smith in the corner. That's pretty funny.

SPEAKER_04 0:57

That's the Smith seat. Yes. You're in the Smith zone. Smith zone. Yeah, that's funny. So it is.

SPEAKER_06 1:04

You're gonna be Shanky Smith for tonight.

SPEAKER_04 1:06

Oh god. Yeah. Shanky Smith for this for just this one evening. The uh so yeah, big, you know, here we are. We've survived AMA vintage days. We've had time to unload, we've had to unpack, we've had a lot of things happen since then. Wow. Uh boy, have we had a lot of things happen since then. Um, we're gonna get to that. That's why that's why Sarah's here. Uh Sarah's working as our apprentice at the shop, so that's super fun and cool. We've talked about her and the MotoGo program and stuff in the past. We've had some interesting trades, including the bike I brought tonight for everyone to take a spin on. Onky Fool did good. We did good. We did all right, right? So there's a lot of stuff going on right now. And in Cleveland, we've gotten into that, it's now officially not July anymore. And when I was a kid growing up, everybody always said, Oh, August, it's gonna be a thousand degrees and it's gonna be awful. I've been keeping track, and the last four Augusts have been delightful.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

It's like a pre-September, and it is it has been very chilly lately.

SPEAKER_04 2:13

It's been nice, like windows open, like it's a good time to be around.

SPEAKER_07 2:17

Well, like like two weeks ago, it was boiling hot. It was, and I mean, you know, it was it was hot, it was a hundred.

SPEAKER_04 2:23

It was real freaking hot, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 2:25

And at one point I was sitting in, because speaking of fun things that have happened, we were sitting at RT's and I was we were talking about the heat and her air conditioning was out, and I looked at my looked at the phone, it was as hot as it was in Lakewood as it was in New Orleans at the same time. And so now for it to be a balmy what 78 degrees.

SPEAKER_04 2:47

Right, exactly. That that is that really does put a wrap on it, doesn't it? And I I dig that. I totally, totally get that. Uh, it's been fun. I mean, really having that every day I'm riding, like every single day I ride motorcycle to shop 100%. And today was funny because it was like, oh wait, it rained on us. And I was, I'll admit it, I was not thinking it was gonna rain on me today.

SPEAKER_07 3:14

It's been super dry too. Like my my yard hasn't even grown.

SPEAKER_04 3:17

Right.

SPEAKER_09 3:17

I have giant cracks through my yard. Yeah, oh dude, my my yard's farmland, so it's I basically have the Grand Canyon.

SPEAKER_04 3:23

Let's let's not talk about the poor suckers in England right now who are dealing with, you know, none of the canals, they're they're moving all the canal boats off because the there's not enough water to run the lock system, right? We're talking about our European friends that are having uh sweltering record heat all the time and heat-related deaths when they don't have air conditioning, right?

SPEAKER_07 3:43

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:44

You've had it pretty damn good here in the middle of America.

SPEAKER_07 3:48

Well, I'm I'm in Munich in a week.

SPEAKER_04 3:50

Oh, that's right.

SPEAKER_07 3:51

And they're having a heat wave. Yeah, and I was like, 90 degrees, that's not so bad. And then I remembered they don't have air conditioning.

SPEAKER_04 3:56

They don't at all. They do not.

SPEAKER_07 3:58

They have windows that open in their hotels, it's really weird.

SPEAKER_04 4:01

Yeah. And it is not the place to go if you're like, oh, I need air conditioning if it's gonna be over 80 degrees. Because it's not. There, there's just absolutely that's not something they've got for them today. So very, very interesting. Uh in my opinion. I think it's just a real, real kind of a wild time uh for the rest of the planet, but for us, it's very chill. And it has been very chill. Um we've been very kind of we're lucky. We're dancing between the raindrops, literally. And that's that's pretty cool, man. And if you're a motorcycle person, well, holy shit, if you're a motorcycle person, then this is just this is a great time to be alive if you're a motorcycle rider. Because we're just doing, I mean, we are having a blast. Uh, I have no complaints with what's going on for my motorcycle riding. Uh, I know Sleepy's been riding like crazy. Uh somebody backed into Dan's bike. That's weird. Yeah, that's weird. What happened, Dan?

SPEAKER_05 5:02

Oh, it was weird. I was sitting at uh in cahoots and somebody walks in. It's like 11:30 midnight, and it's like, hey, who owns the bike in the parking lot?

SPEAKER_04 5:11

Things you never want to hear.

SPEAKER_09 5:12

Right on, hold on, hold on. Like that sounds like a made-up bar. Like nipples and dicks and cahoots. Right, right. Yeah. Like it's serious. Like what explain? Can you give me a uh give us a picture of what this bar is like? What is cahoots?

SPEAKER_05 5:26

Outside, it looks like the diveest dive bar you've ever seen, but inside it's just like a normal sports bar. Okay. They have an this incredible cheeseburger. It's I highly recommend it.

SPEAKER_06 5:37

Okay. All right. At one point you said you went and got the best cheeseburger ever. Where was that?

SPEAKER_05 5:43

That was at Incahoots. Really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 5:46

Well, there you go.

SPEAKER_05 5:47

Well, that's pretty cool. Yeah, the the lady who backed into me, she he's like, someone backed into the bike and left. And she came back first. She walks in the bar. She's like, walks in, she says, Is this in cahoots? And people say yes, and she walks back out. Like, that was that was weird. That's weird. And then, like, 15 minutes later, she walks back in again and she's like, walks right up to me. She's like, Is that your motorcycle out there? I I backed into it. And I'm like, Yeah, I I checked it out. It looks like it's fine. You know, the the helmet fell.

SPEAKER_04 6:17

Did it go down on the ground?

SPEAKER_05 6:19

No, it was still upright. Okay. And the help, the helmet fell off, and somehow the helmet was undamaged as well. Maybe I have no fucking idea how maybe as a lady, she just wanted to maybe get some backup or something.

SPEAKER_06 6:31

So she was like, I just hit this bike. Can somebody like help me be there? Just I don't know if this guy's gonna start screaming at me or something.

SPEAKER_05 6:38

Well, I told her, like, no harm, no foul, and she walks back out again, and I'm like, wait, maybe it it's a second person that hit my bike. I had to go back, go outside and look again, but it was fine.

SPEAKER_06 6:48

The daughter hit your bike, she drove home, got her mom to come back because she has insurance. Oh, that's a good idea.

SPEAKER_02 6:56

Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah, that's a good idea.

SPEAKER_04 6:58

He's not just pretty that's right, because that's why he he that's why she needed to know is this in cahoots? So she could send him to the right place.

SPEAKER_09 7:05

That makes sense.

SPEAKER_04 7:07

And she waited in the parking lot until the insured operator showed up.

SPEAKER_09 7:10

And maybe her daughter was hammered.

SPEAKER_04 7:13

Also, a very good, very good insight considering it's a liquor servings establishment.

SPEAKER_09 7:18

That's what I'm saying. Between the two of us, there's almost you guys came up with a hell of a thing there.

SPEAKER_04 7:21

You guys are ready for dragnet.

SPEAKER_05 7:23

Well, it was weird because I have never seen their parking lot that empty at 11 30 at night. Okay. On a Wednesday. Usually it's like at least half full still.

SPEAKER_01 7:32

Yeah, people were at the bar on a Wednesday.

SPEAKER_05 7:36

Those are the good guys.

SPEAKER_04 7:37

Well, I was there, so you guys know I bought a warehouse. And uh so I bought the warehouse. And the previous owners left. Who did that? What?

SPEAKER_09 7:54

What happened? I uh oh my god, John's exploding.

SPEAKER_04 7:58

That's John. I'm not hearing it over here.

SPEAKER_09 8:00

Holy shit.

SPEAKER_04 8:01

I'm hearing it like maybe it's just in our headphones. I'm not hearing it. Yeah, I don't have it in my headphones at all. That's touching things. So I I buy this warehouse.

SPEAKER_06 8:11

I'm good now, but I can't hear anything.

SPEAKER_04 8:13

The owner, the former owners are like, hey, we left uh we left some pictures on the back of one of the doors and we'd like to get these uh like to get the pictures back for posterity and everything else, family pictures and whatnot. Very good. I'll meet you out front. I'll I'll go to the warehouse, I'll take the pictures down off the door, and I'll put them out in front for you. You can grab them whenever you like. So when I get to the place, as one does, I happen to notice that in front of my building that I own, on the grass in front of the building that I own, there's a 2012 Harley Davidson Road King with a for sale sign on it for $12,000. And I am not in any way associated with this Road King. Wait, right by the shop there? In front of my new Avon Lake warehouse. Oh. That none of you have been to yet.

unknown 9:03

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 9:03

Right. So not one mile from my house. And so I'm like, well, that's odd, but I remembered my real estate agent saying that he owned a white Harley Davidson. And I thought maybe this is my real estate agent taking some liberties in the time that I've taken ownership of the building until he thinks I've obviously moved in. But I've already moved a couple of cars over there, right? You know, it's okay. It's weird, he should have asked, but in any case. And it says, call Ron, and it's R-O-N-N. Two N's. Right? And it looks like it's written by somebody who's not used to writing things.

SPEAKER_02 9:39

Ron. Run.

SPEAKER_04 9:41

Yeah. And so I thought that was odd. So I got in touch with the woman who was coming over to pick up the uh family heirloom photos, and I said, Do you happen to know who left this Harley Davidson in front of my building chained to the sign that used to say Avon Lake Plumbing? I don't. But but you're the girlfriend of the owner, the former owner of this building. I am. So do you have any arrangements set up with other people that they're allowed to park motorcycles here when they're trying to sell them? No? That's weird. Maybe somebody drove by, saw that it was vacant, and just thought, that's a great place to put a bike up for sale. Because it is on Lear Road and a lot of cars do go by there. Ah, it sounds kind of weak. Contact my real estate agent. He's like, Yeah, I'm nowhere near anywhere involved with that. I said, But the seller of the property is your cousin. And I've met him, he's special, right? He's a unique individual. And he he every night there's a bar 25 feet away from the front door of my shop called the Quarry. And the quarry is the locals' bar for the 45s. And the 45s is where we used to do our podcast. And what I'd like to describe is if Avon Lake is a city like Cleveland, then the 45s would be Avon Lake's East Cleveland. It's where every bad police report ever was written in Avon Lake. It's where every domestic violence has happened in Avon Lake. It's the 45s. It's where Shane and Dustin lived, right? It's fun. It's great. It's the only place in the world where I've asked Shane, how can you leave seven children's bicycles parked in your front yard and none of them are stolen all the time? He goes, honor among thieves. Right? It's the pirate code.

SPEAKER_09 11:28

He's like, well, then it might not be actually the same seven.

SPEAKER_04 11:32

If you're gonna take one, replace it with an equal or greater value. And so I finally called the guy this morning. So when I rolled out this morning, the bike was still there, which means the underground network didn't get to Bob, the the you know, the former property owner. And I called the guy this morning and I said, Hey, I said, Is this your Harley for sale on Lorraine or on uh Lear Road? It is, yeah. Cool bike. Yeah, do me a favor. What? Get it off my fucking property. And he goes, What? And I said, Yeah, I own that place. And he goes, Bobby owns that place. I said, Not anymore, he doesn't. I'm the new owner. I don't want you parking motorcycles in front of my spot. I don't want anyone thinking that in my spot is a whole bunch of motorcycles.

SPEAKER_09 12:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:18

I'd rather they just think that in my spot is a bunch of empty space. Right? Old plumbing company. An old dilapidated defunct plumbing company is exactly what I want people to think when they drive past my spot.

SPEAKER_09 12:31

Yes, that's right.

SPEAKER_04 12:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 12:34

Porta potties.

SPEAKER_04 12:35

Lightly used septic tanks. That's what I was thinking. Yeah. Lightning, lightly used septic tanks is right up my alley. And so he did say that it would be gone by tonight. So I also like he didn't seem there was any sense of urgency, like he needed to get out there and take care of it right away. Yeah. So I thought that was pretty cool.

SPEAKER_06 12:52

I gotta talk to Bobby and see if he sold the property. I don't believe this guy.

SPEAKER_04 12:56

So you know what's funny is I told my wife, I said, hey, I said, so do you think that since the bar, the quarry, the quarry has giant rocks piled in front of it, so to give you a place where you can smoke and conduct bad business without the line of the sight of the law enforcement officers are driving by. It's a private patio put up by big giant quarry stones, right? And I said, So do you think that I should, now that I own the property that's next door to the quarry, do you think that this is the time for me to start hanging around the quarry to make sure that they know I'm a thing. And so anybody who's like, well, Bobby moved out, so now it's fair game, everybody can just go in there and steal whatever they want. Uh, because if they are the Bobby, if they're Team Bobby and Team Bobby doesn't own the place anymore, then I need to make sure that I'm in there, letting them know that just because Team Bobby's not there doesn't mean that it's a free-for-all.

SPEAKER_09 13:52

I think this sounds like a group mission.

SPEAKER_04 13:53

I think it does.

SPEAKER_09 13:55

I think we roll in on bikes, yeah, on your scooters, all lively local bad. All of the above. All the above. All the above. Establish what what you're about in one shot. Let them know that you're not alone with your building.

SPEAKER_04 14:08

And we make it into a very, very subtle dick measuring contest.

SPEAKER_09 14:12

And we walk in going, right.

SPEAKER_04 14:14

Yeah. The jets are gonna roll tonight. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_07 14:20

Um, we don't have a young audience.

SPEAKER_04 14:22

We don't have a young audience. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 14:24

Well, that's why Sarah's here. We can bring the uh reference. Did you get that reference, Sarah?

SPEAKER_01 14:28

Kinda.

SPEAKER_09 14:29

West Side story?

SPEAKER_01 14:30

Yeah, yeah. We did do a remake of it.

SPEAKER_09 14:33

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 14:34

All right, well, it's a good one. I mean, how I knew this was the house is that there was all the scooters parked outside.

SPEAKER_04 14:41

I go, this must be the lineup in Tom's driveway. Yeah. The buddy.

SPEAKER_07 14:46

Wait, we'll bring it to you a younger demographic. Come out and play.

SPEAKER_04 14:50

That's like that's like six years younger. Warriors, come out and play. So I just thought it was funny that somebody's selling it, that somebody has beat me to the punch and they're selling a motorcycle in front of my place before me.

SPEAKER_09 15:04

Well, and especially when you want to be stealth, there are no motorcycles here.

SPEAKER_04 15:07

That's the idea, is I want my place to look like there's no motorcycles in here. I don't need the place I'm paying money for to look like expensive, cool shit inside.

SPEAKER_09 15:17

You seriously seriously should put a sign like Phil's Phil's um new white paper reams.

SPEAKER_04 15:23

We have a light box in front of the property. We can put whatever we want in there.

SPEAKER_09 15:27

It's it's gonna be Phil's cover up coming soon. Coming soon. Repent.

SPEAKER_06 15:32

Phil's Mortuary Services is real. Oh no, Phil's Mortuary Services you kill them, we grill them.

SPEAKER_09 15:41

I think they have this real sign has to go on.

SPEAKER_06 15:44

Used body parts.

SPEAKER_09 15:45

I'm sorry, you just taused my brain to think of this. So I have you ever heard of liquid cremation? Yeah. Well, they have a video, so YouTube apparently, or I'm sorry, Facebook just shows you anything now. No, they're and so I'm just going down and it was like it goes liquid cremation. I'm like, I've never seen that. Like, what's the machine look like? Then they have a camera in it, and there's like bones and shit, and then water floating around. I'm like, I didn't need to see that.

SPEAKER_06 16:06

It's a parts washer, they just power wash you.

SPEAKER_04 16:09

It's a parts washer. No, I know my friend has the one that you know you put all your motorcycle parts in, yeah. And it's basically a big dishwasher at extreme heat, and it just washes all your parts, and it has one ingredient, and that's water, maybe a drop or two of cymbalgreen.

SPEAKER_09 16:26

This seemed like it had some other ingredients in it.

SPEAKER_04 16:29

Well, the idea is like when you're done, you just got bones.

SPEAKER_09 16:32

Yeah, yeah. But I didn't need like I would if they would have showed me the machine, yeah, I'd be cool.

SPEAKER_06 16:37

Yes, you would. I'd like a mechanically separated separation uh cremation, please.

SPEAKER_07 16:42

Oh, we're gonna turn you into uh chicken nuggets.

SPEAKER_04 16:45

I was gonna say he's already McElfresh. He can be McNuckett.

SPEAKER_09 16:49

Can I get a two-liter of can I get some Macle fresh nuts?

SPEAKER_06 16:54

Well, the funny thing is Soylent John spicy.

SPEAKER_04 16:57

Yeah, soylent John. The weird thing is everything that comes out of the liquid, the liquid cremation, oh no, everything that comes out goes right down the drain. No, yes, 100%.

SPEAKER_09 17:10

So when you're in Lake Erie, you're swimming in people, ask John.

SPEAKER_06 17:14

Well Lake Erie. It would go to the wastewater treatment plant, hopefully, first. Yep, it does.

SPEAKER_09 17:20

Have you ever seen like an eyeball float by or anything?

SPEAKER_06 17:22

I've seen all kinds of things float by. Some living, mostly dead.

SPEAKER_02 17:30

Oh man. Oh, the great Ohio Fat Berg. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 17:37

Yeah, we'd probably end up with extra grease balls in the in the in the plant, depending on who was consumed.

SPEAKER_09 17:41

Phil's coffee and condoms. We got you covered coming and going.

SPEAKER_04 17:45

That's it. Yes. I mean, I'm looking for ideas for the least break-inable, the least desirable. We don't want what's in that building. You know?

SPEAKER_09 17:55

And that was from a listener, Dwayne Coffer. Dwayne Coffer. Dwayne Spelfer. I can't read it.

SPEAKER_07 18:00

Pitbull rescue and um biological warfare. Uh yeah, I yeah.

SPEAKER_04 18:06

That's that's what I'm thinking. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_07 18:09

You know what? We should just put that broccoli that I have this evening. Yeah. I put up this evening. We just put that up front.

SPEAKER_04 18:14

Used, used senior living essentials. Secondhand senior living essentials. Don't you need it?

SPEAKER_07 18:22

It depends.

SPEAKER_04 18:23

Diaper washing. Yeah, diaper washing. Right, right. Yeah, that's that's what it should be. That's you know, that's gonna be our low, our low profile flying under the radar thing.

SPEAKER_06 18:34

If you had a number, like you'd probably get so many phone calls for diaper because there's like a lot of people into the my niece is ready to have a kid and she wants to do the, you know, you turn the diapers in, they wash them and bring them back.

SPEAKER_09 18:44

I'm like, oh Phil's Jazzer size from that.

SPEAKER_04 18:48

Here's your spoon. I grew up in a household where we did have foster kids, and that my mom was very much an advocate of cloth diapers, and that we, you know, we had the hot we had the super hot water washing machine, and we would burn through 75 or 80 diapers a week. Just kind of how it goes.

SPEAKER_06 19:07

Do you have to like spoon them out first before you know, like get some of the solids guys? Yes, you do.

SPEAKER_04 19:12

That is 100% accurate.

SPEAKER_09 19:13

Do you remember babies? There's not a lot of solids guys.

SPEAKER_06 19:17

It all depends.

SPEAKER_09 19:18

It all depends.

SPEAKER_04 19:20

Oh man. So that's gonna be that's gonna be the interesting thing because the city hasn't come visiting yet, because it's a commercial property, but it's gonna be a commercial property. This entire job description is gonna be a garage. Like literally. Sit there and look pretty. It's going to be something other than my home garage. It's you know, as they said, it's where I put my shit. Is this big enough to get rid of the other warehouse? Yeah, that's the whole idea. Yeah, I mean, I would think that's the whole plan. So, you know, we're we're in phase one now of getting to the world's weirdest motorcycle auction.

SPEAKER_06 19:54

I did talk to East Side Bob at Mid-Ohio. I'm like, Phil's gonna be liquidating a warehouse. Yeah. If you wanted to get in touch with him and do a preview and just see if you could come snipe stuff before he even starts, because he's a good guy. He's a good guy. Yeah. But he's like, I'd be interested, but I really got a lot of shit. He does. He's got a lot of shit.

SPEAKER_04 20:13

I mean, his place has like 18 of those chicken coops. Like, have you been to his spot? No, sir. They have concrete commercial chicken coops that are nine feet tall, whatever. And he's got a bunch of them. And they're full.

SPEAKER_06 20:32

Yeah. He bought a ridiculous amount of stuff at uh at Skidmark. Only paling in comparison to Johnny Vin Johnny's vintage cycle. Yeah. But wow. I was surprised at what he was interested in buying. It's a disease, man. But I mean, when you look at it, you can buy a whole pack of head gaskets, comedic head gaskets for ten dollars. Yeah, throw it on the pile.

SPEAKER_09 20:53

I mean, that's what it is. All this the stuff that looks like junk, if you have the time to sort through it, somebody's looking for it.

SPEAKER_06 20:59

Oh, guaranteed. I mean, it's a long eBay game of putting out all that stuff on eBay.

SPEAKER_04 21:05

And that's the idea. That's really what the that's the the whole thrust of the entire thing is we're gonna try to make a run at it, use eBay and Craigslist to get to squeeze whatever money we can out of it. But not because I don't want to move it ever again.

SPEAKER_09 21:19

You could literally, you could literally get a ready-to-go Wick store where you could go in and they have it set up where you could throw one picture in a description, you could detach your square, do it. Because you don't want to pay PayPal for all or uh eBay for all those fucking fees. Okay. But I'm sure those guys have websites like that. You can make a lot of money doing that. But it again, if that's all you want to do is list shit on fucking even your own website all day, every day.

SPEAKER_06 21:40

I had yeah, I don't see.

SPEAKER_04 21:42

I'm just looking for maximum coverage.

SPEAKER_09 21:44

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:45

The point is I want as many eyeballs as humanly possible on every horrible thing I'm selling because there somewhere there's a guy. Somewhere there's a guy who needs not one, not two, but three Kimco Grand Vista two fiftys.

SPEAKER_09 22:00

What I'm saying is that when you're when you're looking at all this stuff, wasn't there a day when that was a good idea? And it was a great fucking day when you got it.

SPEAKER_04 22:06

I'm done with that brain now. Every seven years, every cell in your fucking body changes.

SPEAKER_09 22:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:14

And I don't have those cells anymore.

SPEAKER_09 22:16

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_04 22:17

Yeah, that's it. Yeah. I used to be deathly allergic to avocados. Not gonna eat them like a fiend now. Right? We change. Like our bodies change. Everything about us changes, and the brain changes too.

SPEAKER_06 22:30

I hope I change. For the better. I'm like, uh seven years. Okay, maybe in seven years.

SPEAKER_04 22:37

So interesting thing to talk about in the podcast, real quick. Um, Waze, you know, if you're out there in the world, you're either using Google Maps or you're using Apple Maps, good luck, or you're using Waze. Um, and Waze now has they've been testing in several markets, markets where people ride motorcycles for a living, they have been testing motorcycle-specific directions. And I think this is a really good freaking idea because I'm gonna tell you, hand to God, I've been on some roads that Waze has put me on where I was like, nobody ever should have called this a road, right? Or they're talking about roads that have particularly dangerous industrial traffic. So, like if you're in the flats outside of a place where nothing but 18 wheelers come and go, you might not want to take your Harley Davidson or your Honda Goldwing down that particular road. So, Tenookie-Son!

SPEAKER_05 23:34

Oh, Tenookisan.

SPEAKER_04 23:37

So kind of interesting that Waze would lean into the motorcycle thing. I'm really excited about this. Um I think it's smart.

SPEAKER_06 23:45

I think that they're also going after I mean, Google has like you can go planes, trains, automobile, I can press a button for bicycle. Just add motorcycle.

SPEAKER_04 23:53

Right. If Google is so easy with taking the bicycle route, which will, and I've done it, bicycle route will put you through parks, bicycle route will put you through trails that run along the the river, they'll trails that run along the you know, the towpath. They'll do some cool stuff, but they're not real good about understanding the motorcycle thing. Well, in Argentina, Brazil, Colombia, Malaysia, Mexico, Peru, and the Philippines, they're doing it motorcycle specific. And as a person who's recently ridden in Guadalajara, Mexico, I can tell you a lot of the roads that I was on were very not friendly motorcycle roads, just based on the industrial traffic alone. You know, you wouldn't want to have a motorcycle on those particular roads. But you did. Oh, fuck it, I did. You had a sidecar. It was dumb, right? Again, the adventure is surviving, right? When you survive and you're done and you made it, then you're all like, this is the greatest thing ever. But in the process, there was any point at about 17 occasions when it could have gone absolute shit-shaped and it would have changed my whole trip. Because then it would have been like, hey, let me tell you about the hospital food in Guadalajara. And that would not have been a good day, as we say, the shop. Not would have been a good day at all. So that's kind of fun. I also love the fact that they talk about like they also do a less chatty version, which one of my complete bitches about Waze is they're like, in 450 feet, turn right after the blue sign, the second right in the intersection, onto you know, Boyhoffer Street, and you'll go then another. And I'm like, no, just fucking tell me turn right in 450 feet.

SPEAKER_09 25:33

Well, turn right now, and they gotta make it so that it doesn't suck the battery out of your phone in a five seconds. Yeah, yeah, I used to run ways all the time, but like as my phone got shittier, which now Middle Ohio cured that because my phone, yeah. But up until that point, when you run Waze and your phone kind of sucks, dude, it's like it goes from like 100% to like 20%, like two years ago. And your phone gets hot. Oh yeah, it burns hot.

SPEAKER_06 25:55

You know what I need is like a uh a talk bitch button, like because like I don't hear it, or I'm like, right, when do I have to turn? I just want to hit like a little you need to turn in 500 in a one mile and you know, like like I want to be able to prompt it to like oh yeah, what are what are the current directions? But I don't think it has that.

SPEAKER_04 26:12

I mean, I don't just a single button on there that you're like update. Current direct give it give that you know, speak. Speak, please speak. I think say what again, motherfucker.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

Yeah, I think the benefit of the motorcycle ways app would be like for beginner riders like me. We could see like the different easier routes, you know. Like they just redone my road next to me, and it's awesome now. But it used to be the worst road you could ever go down, and I would avoid it at all possible. But now it's like awesome for motorcycles like me. Like I just bought a scooter.

SPEAKER_03 26:49

And you can prioritize that. You just bought a scooter. Oh, yeah, she did.

SPEAKER_09 26:53

What kind of scooter did you just buy? Well, but before when she when you buy a scooter, what do you need for the scooter?

SPEAKER_04 26:59

Well, so not you know, first things last, a matter of like, I think it was fucking hours ago. She's working at the shop, hadn't written anything two wheels with a motor yet, and it's one of those painfully awkward situations where you're like, Well, you're working here, you're surrounded by all this delicious dessert, and you're not eating it? Come on, man, eat some profits, right? And uh, you know, help yourself. And so she's been working for a long time, she's been apprenticing for a long time. You put in the work, she's put in the work, yeah. And so we we which was the first one you rode?

SPEAKER_01 27:34

I rode the Vino 50.

SPEAKER_04 27:36

The Vino, the Vino 50, powered by Minarelli. And so she went out on the Vino 50, right? And I didn't give her any training. I just said He told me nothing. Follow me.

SPEAKER_01 27:47

He told me we're gonna go on the sidewalk.

SPEAKER_04 27:49

Nothing. Follow me. I said, I'm going on the sidewalk, stay behind me. That was it. Good luck, right? This is that whole throw your kid in the pool, they'll learn how to swim.

SPEAKER_06 28:00

Well, I mean, at this point, she knows how it operates, she knows how to start it up, she knows how to run it, she knows how to fix it halfway. Yeah, she knows what the front brake and the rear brake. I mean, I think you know most of it, right? She's been struggle fucking carburetors to life for the past six months. Yeah, I mean, you know them from the inside out, so it's just okay. Well, you know.

SPEAKER_01 28:17

Yeah, but being on it is different than working on it.

SPEAKER_06 28:22

Do I always ask people where they're learning to ride by uh motorcycles, how much bicycle riding have you done lately?

SPEAKER_01 28:28

Oh, none.

SPEAKER_06 28:29

Yes. That's like if I was gonna have a motorcycle camp, first thing would be like jump on that bicycle, ride it around the parking lot, do some figure eights. Like, you know what I mean? Start with a bicycle.

SPEAKER_04 28:40

Same thing I tell all my customers. If it's been 20 years since you've ridden a bicycle, go borrow your neighbor's bicycle, and you know, have them borrow you a bicycle for an hour and a half, and then you'll be like, okay, you'll be ready for an automatic. Well, I didn't ask her, I just figured she's a young person, she probably rides bicycles every day.

SPEAKER_08 28:55

No. No.

SPEAKER_01 28:59

But I didn't tell him that. So yeah.

SPEAKER_09 29:01

You gotta hold your cards, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 29:04

I got this. I got this. I'm good. Don't worry about me.

SPEAKER_04 29:07

So before she hit 30, uh, before she hit 15, what'd you hit?

SPEAKER_01 29:13

I hit a bus stop. Nice. You know that bus stop that's right by a shop? Right there. Right in front. That's how far you made it.

SPEAKER_06 29:20

15 feet.

SPEAKER_00 29:21

Not even. Well, you know what? I had a huge, huge bruise on my arm.

SPEAKER_03 29:28

She's not lying.

SPEAKER_00 29:29

It was like black.

SPEAKER_06 29:32

I can name purple. I can name almost everybody I know, even myself. My first ride on a motorcycle, jumped on my brother's dirt bike, popped the clutch. I didn't stall it. I was so excited that I didn't stall it, and then I gave it the gas, and then I freaked out because I choked up on the throttle and I slammed it right into the side of the garage. And he never let me ride it again.

SPEAKER_07 29:55

Oh, uh similar story here.

SPEAKER_05 29:57

First ride.

SPEAKER_07 29:58

I almost bought a Toyota camera because the Allstate I was on dropped into first gear and I was on the throttle, and I walked it on the rear tire trying to rein it in. Really? And before I smashed it in the back of the car, I dumped it into the bushes. Oh my god. And that was me going.

SPEAKER_06 30:14

Yeah, 12 o'clock on an Allstate with eight-inch wheels. Kevin's son said. Kevin Nixon, if you're out there listening tonight, I don't know if you are, but he rode my CX500. He did the shortest best wheelie I've ever seen. It was a 10-foot ride with a 12 o'clock wheelie that ended up in sort of bouncing off of my uh my deck, my deck railing or something in my backyard. Like, just here, wrap it up, just see if you can pop the clutch out. Just like and just go for it. And it was, I was like, man, that was that happened fast. Dan, what was your first?

SPEAKER_05 30:48

Mine was a 55 Lambretta. I crashed into the back wall of my buddy's garage.

SPEAKER_02 30:53

Oh my god. Which you now have, right?

SPEAKER_05 30:55

Which I know I now own that bike.

SPEAKER_02 30:57

The same exact bike.

SPEAKER_05 30:58

Same exact bike. Well, wow, that came full fucking soon.

SPEAKER_02 31:01

That did come full fucking soon. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 31:03

Still has a dent in the fender.

SPEAKER_04 31:05

I love I love the way, I love the way that took 70 years to come around. Right? You're like, hey, foreshadowing. In 70 years, this is gonna be awesome. Yeah. Wow. Oh that's fantastic. Yeah, that I mean it was pretty good. Um, the funny thing was there was a lightly homeless guy in the bus stop at the time. Was it the pooper? No, it wasn't the Phantom Pooper. It can't be a Phantom, we've seen him do it, but it was just another fella that I didn't recognize as being one of our regulars. And he was kind of like looking at something, you know, whatever. He wasn't paying attention to the incoming Vino. Sarah Pay. When she hit that fucking thing, I heard it. I was 30 feet away from her, and it made a loud noise. And this dude, his entire body went erect. Like he had an involuntary nerve response where he just was like, ah, you know, and words didn't work right anymore. And he was like, ah! And and I was like, I looked back and I heard the noise, and I looked at her, and she was still upright. And I was like, You're okay? And she was like, she was like, stop looking at me.

SPEAKER_01 32:12

Stop looking at me. Don't look at me.

SPEAKER_04 32:14

Continue mission. I got this. And yeah, that's Sarah's way. Sarah's way is like, like, I'm gonna fuck up. Don't don't tell me you saw it. Our buddy Alex in Australia. My first crash, I hit a kangaroo on the tail. Now wait a second. Hold the fuck on for a second. What the fuck, man? Okay, one doing fine, sir. Kangaroos, if I remember correctly, kangaroos have big ears. And KX80s are not quiet. No. So how do you sneak up on a kangaroo?

SPEAKER_07 32:50

Must have been really fair. I think the kangaroo squared up on him.

SPEAKER_01 32:55

The kangaroo stood its ground.

SPEAKER_04 32:58

The kangaroo looked at him and said, I can take him, mate.

SPEAKER_09 33:00

Well, Ryan F. Knight told us they're wiry.

SPEAKER_04 33:04

Yeah, they are wiry. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:06

You ever seen a kangaroo? They're like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 33:08

I will tell you again and again. Kangaroo are jacked. And the other thing is, like, the the Sydney zoo, right? The Sydney Zoo has signs by the kangaroo and the alligator enclosures that are just those, you know, those the shape of like a warning sign. A skeleton. You know, and the warning sign says the fall won't kill you. And like it's legit. And like on the tiger cage or the the the like the cheetah cage, it says, I can spray pee 20 feet. And if you can read this sign, you're too close. Right? And the Australians have a very laissez-faire attitude about like, well, I went to the zoo and got my face beaten, you know, bit off. They're like, well, there was a sign, or just you should know better. You're at the fucking zoo.

SPEAKER_07 33:51

The tiger was a real cunt.

SPEAKER_04 33:53

Exactly.

unknown 33:53

Right.

SPEAKER_09 33:54

Dude, those kangaroos always make me think like they're outside of a club. Like, yes. Like neck of the queue.

SPEAKER_01 34:02

Yeah, the bouncer.

SPEAKER_06 34:03

Yeah, they're doing the skibbity dance.

SPEAKER_03 34:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:07

Yeah, they're definitely doing the skibbity dance.

SPEAKER_07 34:09

That's kind of how they stand up, actually. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:10

The kangaroo is uniquely built for the skibbity. Yeah. Somebody call a little big right now. We're missing an opportunity in Australia. Yep. These Russians need to get to Australia immediately in Skibity Kangaroo.

SPEAKER_06 34:22

Oh, I could just see the concert out in the bush. On the bush. Right, exactly.

SPEAKER_07 34:28

I love it.

SPEAKER_03 34:29

Oh, that's great.

SPEAKER_07 34:30

Chat GPT, can you have the kangaroo? Sorry, sleepy dark. That's how it works.

SPEAKER_09 34:36

Alexa play.

SPEAKER_04 34:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 34:38

Skibity kangaroo.

SPEAKER_04 34:40

Right, that's it. Oh man. So she made the loud noise, scared the shit out of the bomb. I mean, not bomb, okay. Lightly homeless person. Um, lightly unhoused person. Lightly in house person. But he did. He got his attention. And then she followed me, you know, and she did great. You know, she did initially. She was like, okay, well, the half pipe was a little weird, but I'm looking at you, but I'm not coming at you anymore. I was like, well, you need to look at me harder. And then and she was like, I'm looking at you pretty fucking hard, but I'm still going towards that car. And then we figured out, I figured out how to sort it out. We took her off of that bike after that short adventure, and we put you on the the 125, right?

SPEAKER_01 35:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 35:18

The Yamaha Vino 125. And I took her to the cemetery.

SPEAKER_06 35:23

Is that prequel? So obviously not willing to spend much bike on this learning scissors.

SPEAKER_04 35:27

She put them both together. I did. They were all her work. I mean, that's bikes she put together. So if you're gonna fuck something up, fuck up the thing you put you put together. But the fucking cemetery, you're already there.

SPEAKER_01 35:40

Yeah. I mean, and you really don't want to crash it.

SPEAKER_04 35:43

You don't want to crash in the cemetery.

SPEAKER_01 35:44

And because it's like stone.

SPEAKER_04 35:47

It's all fucking granite, right? It's not dicking around. And so we did our cemetery behind the shop, has got all these fun little roads in it. And we taught her about inside right-hand turns, outside left-hand turns, and everything else. And I think I made her do 75 fucking turns at low speeds and just kind of broke her the habit of like, I need your eyeballs to be where the bike is going to be in three seconds, but I need your brain to stop knowing that there's some shit you can run into closer. Target fixation. Target fixation was a big deal for her. And she nailed it.

unknown 36:20

Tom, can I have two cookies? One for me, one for Sarah.

SPEAKER_07 36:23

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 36:23

And then vintage days happened. And then when vintage days happened, I went and got Sarah in, you know, her mom and dad. I got them into the event, totally legally, I mind you.

SPEAKER_06 36:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 36:36

Totally. Those passes I paid for.

SPEAKER_06 36:38

It was nice of you to pay for them.

SPEAKER_04 36:39

I thought it was very generous since I was getting a camping pass anyway to get them into the thing. It was great since they make you buy two camping paces for every tent, right? That we had something to do with those passes. So we got Sarah and her mom and dad in, and uh it was one of those like welcome to the shit show moments. Right? Good luck. You're in here now. Here we go.

SPEAKER_06 37:03

Here's the key.

SPEAKER_07 37:03

One of us. I was not prepared.

SPEAKER_04 37:06

And what's funny is when we were in line waiting to get past the hair scrambles.

SPEAKER_06 37:10

How could you be prepared though for Middle High?

SPEAKER_04 37:12

The hair scrambles choked us up. So the hair scrambles got us lined up. And who's behind her in the mini with one eighth of a tank of gas, but Piper. So Piper is directly behind Sarah's family. And I thought that was hilarious that I pulled up to stop to be like, oh, hey, we're gonna have to check up for a minute, let the hair scrambles go. And so I'm talking to you, and then I hear Piper going, Phil, Phil, and I was like, oh shit. Oh, it's all of the young people. It's all of Cleveland Moto's young humans.

SPEAKER_01 37:47

It was great. Which is two.

SPEAKER_04 37:48

Which is hey, Ivy. That's two more than we had two years ago. Right. There you go. That's right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 37:57

Don't leave out Ivy.

SPEAKER_04 37:58

And Ivy. Oh no, we I think we did I'm gonna tell you right now. When I came back from the seminar, and uh the women's empowerment seminar, which is what it is, right? And I came back from the women's empowerment seminar, and she's got her dad riding bitch on the back of Liza's Penelli TNT 135. I was like, my work here is done. I can't improve on this. It's going fucking perfectly. It literally so mid-Ohio is the catalyst. Mid Ohio is the place, it's the pool you throw the children in and force them how to swim.

SPEAKER_09 38:38

Well, I mean, we'll get into it later, but yeah, we've had a disciple now arise to glory through through through the Cleveland motor FEMA campaign.

SPEAKER_04 38:48

The FEMA camp system, it's the new farm leagues. It is right, it really is. You want it, you want your kid to really develop and you want him to really, really get get known? FEMA camp. Yeah, FEMA camp. Why? Because everything's allowed.

SPEAKER_09 39:01

Yep. Because we encourage adventurous behavior, but with safety and guidance that we've learned from all of our Uncle Liza sets the fires.

SPEAKER_04 39:09

Right, right. We need to make this fire bigger.

SPEAKER_03 39:12

Hey, kid, bring Johnny, bring over some more fire. There's no safety. There was no guidance. There was like, just go. No, no, that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 39:20

Put me on Liza's bike.

SPEAKER_03 39:22

I love how Rose put you on Liza's bike.

SPEAKER_01 39:24

Yeah, she goes, it'll be fine.

SPEAKER_04 39:26

It will be fine.

SPEAKER_09 39:27

And let's look at the let's look at the relationship there. So Rose basically joined the family that day, or maybe the day before. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:34

And she was so confident that she was like, Rose had no idea what she was being thrown into.

SPEAKER_09 39:38

Yeah. Just go ahead and take Liza's bike. Like it's just that's what happens. And she's a teacher, too.

SPEAKER_04 39:43

She's a chemistry professor.

SPEAKER_09 39:46

I would say that we had one of the most peaceful.

SPEAKER_04 39:48

Rose is super smart. Do not, do not sleep on Rose. I had more fun talking to Rose about obscure fun shit. Rose is on. I want to spend a lot more time with her.

SPEAKER_07 39:59

She and Becky clicked immediately, just like, oh hey.

SPEAKER_09 40:02

Crazy smart people. Her and Marshall talking, and like all of a sudden they were, I thought they were gonna have a new nuclear fucking something go on.

SPEAKER_04 40:09

No, I couldn't walk in the tent. There were too many thought bubbles.

SPEAKER_09 40:12

There's too many PhDs. I felt outclassed. I was like, I'm just gonna sit over here.

SPEAKER_06 40:16

Fucking scumbag.

SPEAKER_04 40:18

Oh my god. Well, I think it was Sunday morning we were checking out, getting ready to roll out of there. And Rose is like, you know, Phil, when we got here, I didn't think much of you.

SPEAKER_09 40:30

I think she told me that as well at one point. But at the end of the day, I didn't think much of you. I didn't hear the second part of the sentence.

SPEAKER_04 40:36

And I was just like, eh. Well, that's I was like, well, you know what?

SPEAKER_03 40:40

And she was like, no, no, but I really like you now. I think you're really cool. And I was like, Oh, so she only knows what Liza told her? Right.

SPEAKER_04 40:49

Oh, Liza got her ready.

SPEAKER_03 40:50

Yeah, Liza got her ready for the Phil Watch.

SPEAKER_01 40:56

I mean, Rose was incredibly nice to me.

SPEAKER_04 40:59

She was amazing. Yeah, she did great.

SPEAKER_01 41:01

And I can't believe they rode like 14 hours a day.

SPEAKER_04 41:06

The entire adventure, like the fact that Rose joined them on like day three and stuck it out, she didn't have to, but she did. Like the entire thing that they pulled off. Shocking, great, and don't ever ask me to do it because I'm gonna say no.

SPEAKER_06 41:19

1400 miles or 14,000 miles.

SPEAKER_04 41:22

That is not my idea of a good time.

SPEAKER_01 41:23

I'm young and I wouldn't do it.

SPEAKER_04 41:25

No. Uh-oh. No. Terrible, terrible timeout. Not not fun. For me, not my idea of a good time. Right. And you know, present party included, if any of you guys ever ask me to do a trip across America, I'll be in the truck with the air conditioning. I'll be with you. Driving the trailer with the bikes in it.

SPEAKER_09 41:42

I'll be riding.

SPEAKER_04 41:42

I'm cool. You can ride. We'll follow it. Enjoy yourself. Actually, my hips hurt.

SPEAKER_09 41:47

Don't care. We're gonna shoot. I'm learning how to deal with pain because otherwise you can't do anything. We're gonna shoot the burby.

SPEAKER_06 41:54

We're gonna shoot as fast to the hotel and find a tiki bar and we'll be waiting for you.

SPEAKER_04 41:57

That's exactly right. We're gonna set a land speed record to the cool hotel with the Lazy River and the Tiki Bar. We'll unload the bikes when we get there and ride them over to the tiki bar. In fact, let's just fucking sell you right now. We'll meet you in Vegas.

SPEAKER_09 42:10

You'll have one job, and then it's the film the coming up.

SPEAKER_07 42:12

Long distance riding is literally holding the throttle like this for three hours, stopping at a gas station where the fucking light goes off, taking a shit, drinking some water, and then getting back on the bike and going, eh.

SPEAKER_04 42:26

Better than Liza, she ended up in the hospital.

SPEAKER_07 42:28

Right, that's true.

SPEAKER_09 42:29

I think you're doing it wrong because I have a lot more fun than that.

SPEAKER_04 42:32

I get it.

SPEAKER_07 42:33

Don't get I mean I'm sure if I wasn't driving an interstate between Birmingham and New Orleans, I would have been like, oh, cool, back roads.

SPEAKER_06 42:40

I think the only way I would want to do it, I'd have to have all the time in the world, I'd have to be retired, I'd have to have plenty of money, and I would want to just do it by myself.

SPEAKER_04 42:47

All of my cross-country travel has been this. I have ten days to complete this mission. In order to complete this mission in ten days, and Alaska's part of that, I have to drive as fast as this bike will go for the first two to three days. Then I'm gonna go to the cool place, and I'll be in the tool cool place for two to three days, and then I have to turn around and drive as fast as this bike will go for two to three days. And then there's usually two or three tires involved in that. Not great. And like they're not real predictable like when they're gonna happen. So it does kind of take the fun out of it when you can be like, or I could be in this truck with air conditioning and a cruise control button and listen to music for 14 hours a day, and then set like landing gear come down on the truck, you go into a fun hotel motel with a pool and a great steak restaurant outside, and then you go, okay, we're ready for day two now. And then magically you're on the opposite coast of this country where all the fun roads are. Well, and then you take the bike out of the back of your truck that does the fun roads really well. Because the bike that does the fun roads really well is not the same bike that does going across America really well.

SPEAKER_09 43:53

My F nine hundred XR does both. I could go across and do some fucking fun roads.

SPEAKER_04 43:58

That's cool, and on the other side. I'll have the truck and you'll have a flat tire.

SPEAKER_07 44:03

Okay. I like riding the bike. I get it. I love it. Well, as we've said, the best rallies don't involve bikes.

SPEAKER_04 44:10

Ooh, that has become common. It's the bike people. Honestly, the Cocoa Beach rally. I took a bike. I took 20 bikes. We literally stopped. We left Cleveland. We went to Pittsburgh. We picked up a bunch of Pittsburgh. We went to DC. We picked up a bunch in DC. We went to Chapel Hill. We picked a bunch of Chapel Hill. And we ended up in Cocoa Beach, Florida. In two different ways we did it one way with a rider truck, and we did it another way with my pickup truck and a big trailer. And when we arrived in Cocoa Beach, people, you know, we we got their bikes out like a Pez dispenser and people gave me money, right? And that paid for our entire trip was the money we that Stefan and I charged to get the bikes down there. Schleppin' bikes. Schlepping bikes, man. And it was fun. We had our, you know, we all had our own bikes there for the trip, but the long and short of it is could have had the exact same fun, exact same trip if we deleted the bike part portion of it.

SPEAKER_07 45:05

So it's I've I have said for I have been I've proposed it several times since the uh since the excursion to Cancun last time.

SPEAKER_04 45:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 45:12

That we just have a scooter rally at Cancun.

SPEAKER_06 45:14

That's a great idea.

SPEAKER_07 45:15

And we don't bring any bikes.

SPEAKER_06 45:17

Right. Just have one party favor bike. Ah there's a bike. If somebody gets really drunk and stupid and wants to go crash something, go ahead. As the pastor, your gym is going to be a black can bike. One bike that, oh, let's do a little Jim Cana. Everybody just takes a turn. Everyone takes a bike.

SPEAKER_04 45:32

That bike on the Jim Cana.

SPEAKER_07 45:33

I'd say we I say we fly in a cancun, we buy an Italica for like $300.

SPEAKER_04 45:39

Now, this was the robot idea, and I think we go along with it, and that is we fly to Mexico.

SPEAKER_08 45:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:45

And we go to a cool place in Mexico, we go into a grocery store and buy a motorcycle or a scooter in the grocery store. Walmart. And we ride that. No, every grocery store in Mexico sells motorcycles.

SPEAKER_07 45:56

Oh, cool.

SPEAKER_04 45:56

It's weird. And they're like $1,800.

SPEAKER_07 45:58

It's gonna be it's gonna be like a China.

unknown 46:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 46:00

China smash.

SPEAKER_07 46:01

Yeah, $500 italica.

SPEAKER_06 46:02

I'd like a Robin 200, please.

SPEAKER_04 46:04

Well, here's what the deal is they're Chinese bikes that are assembled in Mexico. So they get around the tariff thing. And then you buy the bike and then you just ride it. And as Robot says, not a problem getting into America.

SPEAKER_08 46:16

Oh, I was gonna suggest.

SPEAKER_04 46:17

You hang your Ohio license plate on the back of the cocksucker, and you just and then go from wherever the fuck it is we bought them, insert name of Fun City here, all the way back to the United States. And then once we're in the United States, the trip can continue. Like for the people that are like hardcore, no brain. I want to ride an Italica 180 all the way from now San Diego to Cleveland.

SPEAKER_06 46:39

I got you. I'll drive the truck all the way.

SPEAKER_04 46:41

Bingo, right? Yeah, one-way rental is in my future.

SPEAKER_07 46:43

I was just gonna say we go to an all-inclusive, we buy the Italica.

SPEAKER_04 46:46

Right.

SPEAKER_07 46:46

We make friends with like your guy at uh Villa del Palmar. Yeah, absolutely. And then at the end of the week, we just hand him the.

SPEAKER_04 46:53

We just leave them. We just abandon them there.

SPEAKER_07 46:56

Here's your tip for the week.

SPEAKER_04 46:57

Right. Here's my tip for the week. And by the way, next time we come back, it doesn't have to be this bike, but we get a bike to ride.

SPEAKER_02 47:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 47:03

Yeah. That's not a bad idea.

SPEAKER_06 47:05

There will likely come a day when I want to take a nice ride, but I just need time and I need whatever.

SPEAKER_04 47:10

I totally agree. Time well spent is when you're sitting there with a cocktail in your hand and you're looking at the ocean and you're like, I may or may not play frisbee today. Let me check. Uh, maybe not, right? Yeah. There's a good band going to be open up at four o'clock.

SPEAKER_06 47:28

So I like that teleport to the East Coast or West Coast, and then just you know, have fun out there.

SPEAKER_04 47:34

The teleporting to the West Coast, I've done that for a lot of years where I've done the whole 14 bikes in a truck and trailer, go out west and sell them when I'm out there, sell them out there, so I have a job to do when I'm physically there. And then as you're selling the bikes, you get to the point in the trip where the trailer sells. And so when you get to the point in the trip where this trailer sells and you only have three bikes left in the back of your pickup truck, then you're like, okay, now I need to start talking about some concentrated fun having. Because I got one of those three bikes, I'm gonna ride around to you know Big Sur, I'm gonna ride to Santa Cruz, I'm gonna ride the mountains, I'm gonna do all the cool stuff on this one bike out of the three that's left, and then I'm gonna set up camp and sell those last three bikes. And then when the last three bikes are sold, that's it, man.

SPEAKER_09 48:21

Bruce is listening. He says, All right, guys, meet me in Newport, Oregon on September 25th. He's buying the first and second rounds. Yes. Because he's taking his trip, so you can just meet him at the end of it.

SPEAKER_04 48:31

That's awesome. Uh, talking about trips that are coming up, uh, we're gonna be going to the Isle of Man. We're gonna be going to the classic. So that's exciting.

SPEAKER_09 48:42

It's in like just a couple days. I was like, I'm not prepared for this, dude. I look down and I'm like, I'm like, okay, I gotta do this, I gotta do this. I'm like, wait, that's like eight days from now.

SPEAKER_04 48:50

Well, Tom has to go to Prague and come back first.

SPEAKER_07 48:52

So, yeah, no, I'm I literally, literally Tuesday night after work, I'm flying to Munich, and then Becky's like, well, Prague's only five hours away, and I have to get she has to go to Librick. Um, so why don't we drive? I'm like, I'm sorry, what? She's like, Yeah, why don't we just rent a car and drive the Audubon to Prague? I'm like, okay, so I have to go to AAA and get the thing. And then come to find out because I have a motorcycle endorsement, not only do I have my car endorsement, I have the motorcycle endorsement. So I'm like, well, now I kind of have to rent a bike when I get to wherever the hell I'm gonna land. So I'm like, yeah, sure, I could totally do a European country I've never been to and don't understand half the language, and just fuck around.

SPEAKER_09 49:37

Yeah, that sounds like a plan. So how close is that to I I'm an idiot, but like, is there is that even close to any kind of conflicty area?

SPEAKER_07 49:45

Um Czech Republic is not quite, but getting real close. That's what I thought. So alright. We'll be safe, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nah, we'll be fine.

SPEAKER_05 49:56

You still got Poland between.

SPEAKER_07 49:58

Yeah, Poland, Poland's gonna be well, Poland's been been picking up all the trash lately anyway, so geez. Well, that's a good and so and that's the funny part, is Becky's like, yeah, we should go to Poland next.

SPEAKER_09 50:09

No. So you getting back to Sarah over here. Yeah. So you were you you smashed into the thing, but then you didn't stop there. What's been happening after that?

SPEAKER_01 50:20

Well I well, first off, I got my permit.

SPEAKER_09 50:25

So how did what how did that happen?

SPEAKER_01 50:26

Well, I go, I gotta learn how to ride this summer because I'm doing this job, and you know, I wanna know what the hell I'm doing, you know.

SPEAKER_09 50:36

And you know, I feel like I don't like to buy food from a skinny shop.

SPEAKER_01 50:41

Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like after my first crash, I was like, okay, this is serious now. You know. You you know, I you gotta take your you gotta get bruises, you know. You always gotta get bruises and scrapes. Those are signs that you've learned and you've done a good job, I feel like.

SPEAKER_06 51:02

And I feel like I'm glad that you didn't throw your hands up and say, uh I'm never right. Uh I've done, you know, one injury, you know, like because some people do that.

SPEAKER_01 51:10

Some people do that, yeah. And I well I am kind of accidental. So I've always learned just, you know.

SPEAKER_09 51:18

You seem a little tenacious though, too. I don't think you're I don't think you let a lot of things beat you, do you?

SPEAKER_01 51:22

Uh I try not to.

SPEAKER_09 51:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:24

I try not to. Um it's just who I am, how I grew up, you know. But anyway, I uh got my permit. My me, my mom, and dad because my dad wanted to get back into riding because he's been uh he used to ride when he was a teenager. Like same age as I am.

SPEAKER_09 51:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 51:44

But he wanted to get back into it, and I wanted to do it. And so my mom was just like, what the hell? I'll I'll do it too.

SPEAKER_09 51:53

So what did you guys take the course? Like the MLS course?

SPEAKER_01 51:56

Yeah, we did. So we took we got we took our permits together, but I'm the only one who passed the permit the first row. And my dad got so upset because he didn't pass a new.

SPEAKER_06 52:11

I did get to speak with your dad a little bit at Mid Ohio. He he he's I think he liked Mid-Ohio.

SPEAKER_01 52:17

He does, he does. He he he's just uh, you know, he's a veteran, he's just uh I think he liked getting out there, you know.

SPEAKER_06 52:24

He liked getting out there in the wild and being like, oh, that's a drummer. There's a lot of shit going on. So like he's a legit he's a legit drummer pro-musician drummer.

SPEAKER_04 52:33

Oh wow, yeah. So, you know, that already means he's touched by an angel, right?

SPEAKER_01 52:38

Yeah, but he spends a lot of time inside. Human computer.

SPEAKER_04 52:41

Yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_01 52:43

He needs to get out more. He spends a lot of time inside.

SPEAKER_06 52:46

I didn't want to say that, but it was like he was like, wow, this is what outside is like. And he's like, that's kind of cool.

SPEAKER_01 52:52

Well, I will say he doesn't have that many good friends, you know. So it's like yeah, he got super solid. I'm trying to like, I'm trying to like get him with you guys, you know.

SPEAKER_06 53:01

But he got to drink some beers, he may or may not have had a cigarette. Hey, my goodness. Oh my lord. Oh my lord.

SPEAKER_09 53:09

He might have had a jazz cigarette in there somewhere.

SPEAKER_06 53:15

But anyway, back to you.

SPEAKER_01 53:17

But yeah, so we took the permit, and then I got my permit, and I got my I got my uh permit in the nail and everything. But they didn't wait. They waited and I can't I booked it for the first week at the first week of August. And I booked that like a month ahead.

SPEAKER_06 53:35

The class.

SPEAKER_01 53:36

The class and um so I booked it a month ahead. I'm all prepared. I'm looking at all the I'm looking at all the material that they tell you to read before the class and all the videos.

SPEAKER_06 53:48

Piper Piper got her permit at Mid-Ohio last year.

SPEAKER_01 53:51

Oh, that's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_06 53:52

That is pretty laptop.

SPEAKER_01 53:55

Online, yeah. I go I can't do anything online, really. That's all right. That's I that's I feel like you guys in that way, you know. I just can't do anything internet-wise.

SPEAKER_03 54:04

No, no, we're all really good on the internet.

SPEAKER_01 54:06

Oh to be clear, she's an engineering student at OU. Uh but you should see the computer nerds that I go to school with. They're like, they got everything on their computer customized. And I'm like, man, I'm lucky if I get the right file.

SPEAKER_04 54:24

So you did, so you did your you had yourself set up for the MSF class.

SPEAKER_01 54:30

Yeah, so but they didn't they didn't get their permit. So the class started on Monday. And the DMV closes on Saturday at 2. Guess what time we got to the DMV?

SPEAKER_04 54:47

2.02.

SPEAKER_01 54:48

No, we got there at 1.

SPEAKER_04 54:50

But they had to take their temps.

SPEAKER_01 54:52

They had to take their temps and they had to pass.

SPEAKER_04 54:54

And you have to pass, otherwise, you can't go with the MSR.

SPEAKER_01 54:57

Or else you wasted like, you know, $75.

SPEAKER_06 55:00

And they won't even let you sign up.

SPEAKER_01 55:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 55:02

Yeah. Well, you could theoretically take it online that night. I mean, I guess.

SPEAKER_04 55:07

So they did take their temps. They passed their temps, and then they flew standby on your scheduled day.

SPEAKER_01 55:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 55:16

So they just showed up hoping there'd be two spots open.

SPEAKER_01 55:18

Well, no, I scheduled them with me.

SPEAKER_04 55:20

Oh, you did?

SPEAKER_01 55:22

I go, guys, I'm scheduling this all for all of us. Oh, that's great. If we're doing this, we're doing this.

SPEAKER_04 55:27

We're doing it.

SPEAKER_01 55:28

You know, and then well, Monday came right along and it was a really boring class for the first.

SPEAKER_06 55:34

It's just in the classroom, and you're like, Isn't it like six hours that first day or whatever?

SPEAKER_01 55:40

It's from the first day was from nine to like one, I think.

SPEAKER_04 55:45

Yeah, it's four hours, and they don't show you the my favorite part of the first night class was they show you the terrifying videos and they don't watch they don't show you the terrifying videos anymore. No. No, they don't. I was like, the terrifying videos were terrifying.

SPEAKER_06 56:01

This is a head in a helmet.

SPEAKER_04 56:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 56:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_06 56:04

I think I think Rob Zombie used the whole thing. Blood on the road. This is a guy hanging from the telephone port.

SPEAKER_09 56:09

Right. And she went to pick up his helmet, and his head was still in it. This guy was.

SPEAKER_02 56:14

Today we're gonna talk about left of center.

SPEAKER_03 56:18

Blood on the blood on the highway. That's it.

SPEAKER_04 56:21

So you did Monday?

SPEAKER_01 56:23

Yeah, so then that was chill, and then like we go, we get there at 11 or like 10:30 at Hudson High School, where we're taking it, and it's hot and you're in full riding gear. So you're in pants, a long t-shirt or jacket, gloves, and and a helmet and glasses, you know. And my dad can't handle heat well because you they're they're old. They're like your guys, you know, they're 58.

SPEAKER_06 56:55

Well, it's your anatomic system. Like, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_01 56:58

Well, you it's just it's naturally you can't handle the heat as you get older.

SPEAKER_04 57:02

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sarah at a certain age, they issue us a pop-up tent to take everywhere with us. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 57:08

Well, like I drank like half as much water as them, and I was doing fine.

SPEAKER_09 57:12

Phil's telling Tom, hey, when Sarah's in the bag, boot up the infrared heater next to us.

SPEAKER_04 57:17

Exactly. We're gonna teach her about what it feels like.

SPEAKER_01 57:20

Yeah. But it was the first class, we our instructors' names were Paul and Al, and they were great. Good. They were both retired old guys, you know.

SPEAKER_06 57:33

I thought it was startling.

SPEAKER_04 57:35

90% of MSF instructors, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 57:37

Retired old white guys.

SPEAKER_06 57:39

I thought it was startling how quickly you're on a bike going across the parking lot. Yeah. Especially for the people who have never ridden at all. They're like, okay, here's your bike. Here's the fine see it. They know they go through a little bit of it. Okay, jump on, start it up. Right. Okay, we're gonna duckwalk it a parking lot, put it in gear, let out the clutch, and you're like, what?

SPEAKER_01 57:56

These poor people. Yeah, like part of it is that I guess I didn't really understand how the clutch would work in the system.

SPEAKER_02 58:05

And I'm so glad somebody else taught you.

SPEAKER_01 58:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 58:09

But win for Uncle Phil. Well, so you were starting on the on the Benelli. Right.

SPEAKER_01 58:16

Yeah. And I told you to put it in second gear. Put it in second gear. I did not understand how to do that at first. Not at all.

SPEAKER_06 58:24

What second gear?

SPEAKER_01 58:26

Exactly.

SPEAKER_06 58:26

What's second gear? One down, what if up, down, what? Right.

SPEAKER_01 58:29

But now I know.

SPEAKER_06 58:30

Yeah, now you understand.

SPEAKER_01 58:32

A week ago I didn't know, and now I know.

SPEAKER_06 58:35

I gave Piper some extensive training in the driving uh in the parking lot over at the school next to me. And it started with me. I put her on the bike and I pushed her around first. I'm like, get this is just no motor, no nothing. I'm gonna give you a push. I give her a push, get her up to speed, and let go, and then she would drive it around. I did that several times. I'm like, all right, now we're gonna start it up. You know, you know, and she has actually ridden an SSR and some other stuff, but still the you know, the clutch on that bike was pretty crap and whatever. But she did really well. She liked the bikes at the MSF class. She's like, Oh, the clutch was great on that. But I did spend quite a bit of time trying to teach her about they're gonna want you to do this friction zone thing. And that's where the clutch isn't in and it isn't out, it's kind of pulling you along, and you can kind of work the brake, and it's like makes it almost like an automatic.

SPEAKER_01 59:20

So I will say by the end of the two days, you fully understand how to do it. Like you never you definitely need practice like on it, but you understand how to do it. And what's funny is that my mom, who has no riding experience at all, none.

SPEAKER_06 59:39

I can't ride a bicycle.

SPEAKER_01 59:41

I mean, she hasn't ridden a bicycle in like years, but she's just like she's a team player. She's a team player, she's just like, okay, let's do it.

SPEAKER_04 59:50

Let me just go get my motorcycle license.

SPEAKER_01 59:52

And so she's terrified. She's terrified. I took her on the back of my buddy kick, you know, and she's again terrified. She like can't like she's scared, but she just hops on and she does it. And she was so much better than me and my dad. And I think it was because you know, she go she went into it open-minded, like she didn't know better.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:16

Yeah, I'm just gonna listen and do exactly what they tell me to do. Good idea. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:20

And what's funny is that they give you like a second try at the whole test. Right. And me and my dad were the only two that needed the second try who didn't pass it on the first try.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:31

Really? Mom showed you.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:33

Oh and my mom was so surprised, and she was like jumping up and down.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:37

Did you rub it in your nose?

SPEAKER_04 1:00:39

Yeah, especially your dad had to go, oh, he's oh yeah, he was down. Oh my god. Yeah, she came into the shop and I told her, so we picked up these two buddy kicks, and they were from Florida. My customers live up here and they have a house in Florida as well. And so these two particular buddy kicks, both French vanilla covered, colored, brown saddles, brown grips, relatively new machines, very few miles on them, but they've lived coastal in Miami. And so we call them the Barnacle brothers because any part of them that wasn't plastic was in somehow away oxidized. Interestingly, even under surfaces that were painted, right? And so, aside from the oxidation, they were mechanically great. And when I picked them up, they ran like it was they were good to go. But they are just bubbly. They're they're literally, they look like I mean, uh there's they got corrosion, they got the corrosion, man. They they got the whole deal. They they look like should they should be on the special, you know, polio island or something, right? They they're having a hard time with things. They they've got TB or smallpox.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:46

What's the show with the mushrooms? Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:48

Yeah, that's that the last of us or whatever. Yeah, last of us. They look like they've got it, right? And so we we take the two of them, the barnacle brothers, and we have eventually we have a person that's you know, hey, they want to buy one of the barnacle brothers. So we took one of the barnacle brothers and we fixed it up enough to sell it. Yeah, but we had the other barnacle brother left over, and so I told, I told her, I was like, hey man, when you're ready to go, when you when when your time has come, I'll just give you a bike because you work here, right? I'll give you, you need a bike, you can have a bike, and you can even do a lend lease on a bike. I've lend leased a lot of people bikes, right? Because I have too many bikes, and it's okay if some of them go live somewhere else for a while, right? And she came in and she's like, no, I'm gonna pay for this. Yeah, I mean she's like, no, I'm gonna pay for this. And the haggling began. No, it was it was right down to what I paid for it. You know, like I shouldn't make any money, like I have a whole rule, I don't make money on friends. And the when I sell things to friends, I sell things at dead cost. Whatever it costs me, I pass that along to you. Whatever it is. And so she paid exactly what I paid for one of the Barnacle brothers, and you could not have adjusted your watch and the amount of time it took her to close the deal. The amount of time when she showed up, it was Saturday, and she showed up with parents in tow, she went to Renee, money changed hands, and she was gone. I didn't even see her fucking shadow. Like a temp tag managed to stick itself to the back of the bike and off she fucked. And then again, I was really excited. Yeah, you were. I sent her a message about nine hours later, said, Hope you're doing okay. Hope you're having fun. Yeah, great. Yeah, I got this.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:42

Yeah, wear gloves in it.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:43

Yeah, that's what I said. Wear gloves. Wear gloves, wear gloves. Do you know why I say wear gloves?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:48

Because if you fall, it's the first thing you fall on.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:51

That's what I tell everyone. But the real reason I say gloves is when you're recovering in the hospital later, touching yourself is the only fun you're gonna have. So make sure you're wearing gloves.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:02

Yeah. Fair point. Fair point.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:06

As a guy who's been there a few times, trust me, having totally functioning 10 digits when the rest of you is fucked up is a great thing. Can you imagine? I've been in some I've been in some spots before. I've had metal in my legs, I've had all kinds of bad, bad five-week recoveries. I'm so happy that I always wear gloves. I'm so happy that when my leg was jacked up and I couldn't walk and I couldn't do things, that my hands were still perfectly functioning. So I could do computer-y stuff and phone stuff. Feed yourself. Feed myself, wash myself. Because I had one bad crash where I fucked my hands up. And in one bad crash, I had some pins and screws. I'd broken three fingers on my left hand and two fingers on my right hand. And so I had both of my hands in a halo in a cage, and I couldn't do anything. And uh that's terrible. That was really, really bad.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:03

How long were you in there?

SPEAKER_04 1:05:04

I was in the cage for about three weeks, so it was three weeks on both hands of not being able to move my hands at all. They were completely in suspension for about three weeks, and it's amazing what you can train your brain to do when you only have these two fingers on your left hand and one finger on your right hand to like do things and manipulate things. But then I also figured out I could use the cages to do stuff, and it's not what you're thinking of, you fucking weirdos.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:38

Yeah, Edward Scissor.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:39

Yes, exactly. Yeah, that was that was fucking weird. But yeah, it's it's I'm so I'm so happy that you did that. I'm so proud of you that you did that because it's super cool, and you know, you got done, and you you did the course, you did the license, you got your bike. That's fucking awesome.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:54

That yeah, I'm excited, so excited to take it down to Athens because it's gonna Be like awesome college stuff to do. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:03

And you can legally park it on the sidewalk.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:06

When do you go back to school? Piper already had to go back because she's an RA.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:10

Ooh, yeah. I gotta go back and like, well, next week's gonna be my last week.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:16

Oh my god. I know. And then no Tom, no Sarah. Fuck. Yeah. Oh man, it's Iron Man again. I hate Iron Man.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:25

Yeah. And then uh the week after that I go the next Saturday.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:30

I'm glad you got a buddy because I was thinking there needs to be like a Cleveland or Lakewood or whatever buddy Westside Buddy Club. Because there's lots of buddies out there. There's a lot of buddies out there. I see a lot of them tooting even around my neighborhood, and I'm like, the buddy people just need to buddy up and go for a ride.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:48

Well, I'm hoping that I can encourage more people at college to get a scooter because I feel like Athens is the perfect place to have a scooter.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:56

It really is.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:57

Like the perfect place.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:59

Chain that son of a bitch up, though. It's Frat Bros taking your scooter and it's a good one. Oh my god, I know.

SPEAKER_09 1:07:05

My wife went to Athens school. There's a burrito shop at a bar there that she fucking still makes me when I come back from rides down there bring her a fucking burrito for this. You know what I'm talking about? Is it the food truck or is it the No, it's like a bar that serves like Mexican food, but it's supposed to like it's insanely good. And they have vegan versions, so it's like a big ass fucking version. It's like this big burrito thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:26

There's a couple of Mexican places down there. You're gonna have to tell me the name of this.

SPEAKER_09 1:07:29

It's a bar, it's like downtown, it's a bar. Anyway whatever, but it's like she loves the fucking thing to this day, and they still have it 20 years later. Well, of course.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:36

You don't fuck with a good thing.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:37

Don't they have like a motion thing you could put on your bike, like just throw it under the seat, and if it's a good thing.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:41

There is nothing better on the planet thanks to the colour. Full coverage insurance. Full coverage insurance, cable lock. And if you're gonna do full coverage insurance, take a tip from your unkey Phil. It's called stated value insurance. They don't like talking about it, but it's there. And when you say, I have a 2012 buddy or 2014 buddy Kick 125 scooter, and they go, Okay, that's worth uh $48. So if you have it stolen, we'll give you $48 minus your $500 deductible. That'll be $100 a month. Then they're right, exactly. So what you tell them instead is I want replacement value or stated value insurance. And I want this bike insured for $3,000 because that's what it's gonna cost me to replace it if it gets jacked. And they're gonna be like, Well, we don't normally do that. Yes, you do, and I'm gonna pay for it. And you'll be shocked when your insurance premium goes from $39 a month to forty-five dollars a month, and that's on the high end, by the way. Yeah, yeah. That's if you're not running your parents' insurance, which you should be. Haggerty knows that. Oh, I am. Yes, you are.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:47

Uh uh Piper just went off of our insurance. Right. I gamed it out, and since she'd been driving for three years, had no accidents, no nothing, it was actually cheaper for her to get her own insurance policy, then that relieves us of any liability. So if she hits somebody and there's a huge lawsuit, it doesn't come back on us at all. Exactly. Her car is in her name, her insurance, and she's 19 years old. It's awesome. So she's fucked. That's terrible. But it's better for her to be just fucked than to you better get her a good lawyer. Well, the better, but her parents won't have a lien against her house or you know, that's it. Piper has nothing to take.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:22

So I always very true. That's why you want that situation. My attorney has given me some great advice over the years, and he says, don't get five million dollars worth of insurance if everything you own on the planet is worth 250 grand. You don't need $5 million worth of insurance. The best attorney in the world can't take what you don't have, right? So if you own $250,000 worth of shit, get $250,000 worth of insurance. Going over and above buys you nothing, but it's just extra money for the insurance company. But the stated value thing, the replacement value thing, that's real. Because I've got too many people in my shop. In fact, two of the bikes that were in there today, we've got two bikes in there that were rear-ended. Imagine sitting on your bike next to your wife, waiting in traffic for the light to change, and some fucking numbnut in a Ford pickup truck hits not one but both of you. And both of my customers, broken collarbone, broken ribs and ankle or something on the other one, both bikes got up the butted by a big old truck. And so it's one insurance claim for two vehicles and one potential lawsuit, but in both cases, their bikes are like five years old. So the KBB on the value of these bikes is like $1,200. So not a great time to be like, I need to replace these bikes because they need to be replaced, but you have a $1,200 budget to do it with. That's fucked. You want to be able to at least replace the shit you're riding right now with the money you're gonna get from the insurance company. Otherwise, you're gonna you're gonna say, like, oh, I got a $500 deductible.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:00

$1,200 wouldn't even buy you the same bike used.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:02

Not even close. Not even close, minus your $500 deductible, right? So it it is a bad deal, and that's why you always go for stated value replacement value insurance tip from a Yankee Phil. Yep. Yeah, make them work for it. You're paying them money, you're giving insurance company money, you're playing Las Vegas rules about I'm giving you a bunch of money in hopes that I crash someday and I get to use it.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:24

Have you done a wheelie yet? No, not quite yet. So when you're pulling in the show and you hit that little thing, and just when you get to the top, if you give it a little scoot, you'll ride it right into the parking lot. Oh, yeah. You'll get a little air.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:41

The other Saturday, I was riding I was riding my uh family friend's dirt bike, and uh one of one of the guys there that we know, I can't remember his name, he uh he's like a motorcycle, he he does motorcycles too, and he uh was showing us videos of him doing wheelies on the highway at like a hundred miles.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:03

Oh great.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:03

And I was like, hey, so like I think that's like a little stupid.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:08

Yeah, the learning curve there is not great.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:11

Well he was like uh he was like a you know young 20-some guy, so I do say his brain's not fully developed yet.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:21

He doesn't know about mortality. I haven't figured that out yet.

SPEAKER_09 1:12:24

I think some of us have gone through that at some point. What a bunch of dummies.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:31

So I So um when is mid-Ohio 2 at your place, Sinch? You were talking about that before you wanted to have this big party.

SPEAKER_09 1:12:38

Yeah, probably uh end of September, October. Oh, cool. It's gonna be an invite-only minnow mini Ohio. Great Ohio, Jerry Ohio.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:46

I feel like maybe Sarah would show up. Oh, maybe.

SPEAKER_09 1:12:49

Oh, yeah, obviously part of the family.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:51

There should be fireworks. Well, we need somebody to work on the bikes.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:56

All right, as long as I can stick around.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:58

You can't hit a rabbit with a shotgun off the back of a dirt bike.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:05

Are you fucking crazy? You can't hit a rabbit off the back of a shotgun with a dirt bike.

SPEAKER_09 1:13:11

So speaking of dirt bikes, what did you s what did you find out about this Himalaya 750?

SPEAKER_04 1:13:16

So, yeah, so people in the UK, um, eagle-eyed observers, have spotted the bike that was only uh a glimmer in the eye of Royal Enfield two years ago at the uh ICMA show, and yet it has been spotted with actual spy photographs that we have here of the uh wow, fucking advertising. Get out of there. They're horrible. Get out of there. Okay, so there it is. Um, as seen perched up in front of a very typical British building. Uh, we all know what those look like, but that is unmistakably not the Interceptor 650 engine in what is unmistakably a Himalayan body or Himalayan frame. Uh so that's a real thing. There it is being ridden by a human being. And again, I've seen enough of those Interceptor 650 engines to know that that's not one of them.

SPEAKER_09 1:14:07

Dude, that's what's up with adventure bikes becoming Ford Tauruses? Well they all look exactly the same. Like nobody's taking a okay, you put a round headlight over the porpoise. They're all fucking porpoise. Listen, I have a bunch of I love them, but they're all the same.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:24

Look at the look at the very British rear wheel cover. I'm sorry, the the very sari safe, the very sorry safe Stepney rear cover on this straight from Inja. Um, so we have this device on the back of this motorcycle so that your female companion can operate on the bike side saddle so her sari won't get wrapped up in the back tire, which would be like very, very embarrassing if her sorry got wrapped around the chain ring on the back of the side.

SPEAKER_09 1:14:53

It's not a bad looking ring.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:55

Very sorry.

SPEAKER_09 1:14:55

Look at the wheels, though. That's obviously not for off-road.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:58

Oh no, definitely not. Yeah, definitely not. Yeah, I mean that that might be 1819 or 1719 on its very best.

SPEAKER_09 1:15:05

Yeah, just look at those spokes, those casts.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:07

Those are purely street wheels.

SPEAKER_09 1:15:08

Yeah, you hit a tree with that.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:10

No, no, that's that's just that's the original Africa twin was where ADV bikes should have started, finished, and end. I agree. That is the the bike.

SPEAKER_09 1:15:19

It had the proper number of headlights.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:23

Everything is right with that bike.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:24

So here's Royal Enfield, and they are throwing they're they're saying, okay, Interceptor 650, not enough. We're gonna do Himalaya 750. Now, this might end up being if if Royal Enfield sticks to their cheap and cheerful concept. Like, here's our motorcycles, they're always cheaper than anybody else's. This is gonna do great. Um, I don't know if you noticed it, but I can't tell looking at it if this back here is a center stand going back to Oh, it definitely looks like you think it is, right? Yeah, because it has the foot at the bottom and everything. We're cool.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:59

So that's going up against a Transhelp or a Tenerae?

SPEAKER_04 1:16:02

Yeah, yeah. Yep. And it'll be a lot cheaper because it's got Royal Enfield stamped on the side.

SPEAKER_09 1:16:07

From all I've heard from guys that have 40,000, 45,000, 50,000 miles on the newest Himalayas, they're good bikes.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:13

They seem to like the the 450, you know, Himalayas. So if this can be the same thing, but also I'd like to remind you that this is coming into a market where the Kawasaki KLR 650 continues to exist.

SPEAKER_09 1:16:27

Well, and everybody's kind of saying now that the 500 that they just came out with is better than people kind of anticipated at first.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:33

I'll give you that. But it still gets shut down uh uh against the Vittoria and the It's a different animal.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:39

I thought I think they're totally different animals.

SPEAKER_09 1:16:41

And I fucking love I rode here the Vittoria on the highway at 70, and the bike's happy as a fucking clam. It's very happy, and then it scooters its way through the city because you're on this bike that has the turning radius of like anything. Yeah. Oh, I love that fucking bike. Yeah, it's such a good bike.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:56

I I have I have nothing but respect for the Vittoria 450. I will say it continues, and everybody I've sold one to, everybody I've sold one to has been like, dude, this fucking bike. Yeah, every single person I've sold one to has been like, dude, here's me six feet in the air on a Vittoria 450. I'm like, I didn't tell you you couldn't do it.

SPEAKER_09 1:17:16

Just be brave. If I wasn't a motorcycle addict, there's really no other reason to have another bike. Ah You know what I'm saying? Oh, it's one of those bikes. It is, it just makes everything, but I will say it took me 215 times, but I finally got the handlebars where I didn't know like a fucking weird perfectionist. I am, but now they're there.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:32

I got I adapt to the motorcycle I'm on because I'm the meat bag.

SPEAKER_09 1:17:36

Yeah, but I if I'm gonna take it and do things, it has to fit, you know, it has to fit. But then I think I got it set up. I got a perfect little bit.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:42

I've ridden a lot of your motorcycles that you've touched and put your you know, your dick beaters on, and and they're always identically like you have them dialed to the sleepy position. Right. And your clutch is always set up wrong, but you like it that way, so I'm not gonna. I know I know believe me.

SPEAKER_09 1:18:00

I get that's right, because I can engage any part of the friction zone that I look again, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:06

It works for you. There's reasoning, but I like two fingers.

SPEAKER_09 1:18:09

I do too. I use two fingers.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:11

I like two fingers, and I like the two fingers just be like snap, snap, snap, snap, snap.

SPEAKER_09 1:18:14

An occasion, if I was drunk back in the day, three would be a few. Three fingers, you know. Yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:18

But two fingers to get the job done. The uh manual extraction is what that's called. The uh but it is funny, it's like, yeah, when you always set your bikes up perfectly, and meanwhile, I will like all right, headlights pointing that way, taillights pointing that way. Good enough for me.

SPEAKER_09 1:18:34

See, what happens is like I like being really in control of the bike. Yeah, and if the bars don't feel right and they're not doing the thing, then I don't feel like I'm riding right. So I have to keep going back, forth, up until it gets just right where it needs to be. But now that it's there, and then I added a $38 uh gel, not a gel, it's like a one of those new air hock pad that kind of thing. But it is gel made, but it's different. I don't know how to explain it. It's a gel pad. But it's like the it's a bootleg of the $150 ones, whatever. But it just covers the back of that that split seam. Yeah. And then it gave me an extra half an inch to an inch. Fucking perfect. I I've I spent two, three hours in the saddle the other day. No fucking problems. Oh, I love that bike.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:14

It's a gel pad.

SPEAKER_09 1:19:15

It's a gel pad.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:16

It's a gel pad.

SPEAKER_09 1:19:17

Yeah, it's a gel pad. Well, it's a hexa something. I don't want to call it the wrong thing, though. Why? I don't care if it's a gel pad, but it's not like it's not like a sausage, like where it's just like a solid fucking No, it's a gel pad.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:31

We're familiar with the concept. Okay.

SPEAKER_09 1:19:33

It's a piece of span cover. It's a gel pad. I finally hit the age. Maybe I'll get one of those donuts for my car, too. So my book is. It is a slab of ass meat. It's a gel pad. Well, it fucking works great.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:46

Jesus Christ, it's a gel pad. Gel pads are rustic. It just got bummed.

SPEAKER_09 1:19:54

No, no, it just looks that way. I'm sorry. Tacos.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:00

Oh man. Yes, it's more than just a gel pad. It does have a matrix of gel.

SPEAKER_09 1:20:06

It's not just a I don't know. I don't care. I'm not like I'm not endorsing the product. I'm just saying I thought it was called something else. It was like a hexagonal jack.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:15

Get off your lazy fucker desk, walk outside, take a picture of it, bring it back in, and we'll all look and we'll know then.

SPEAKER_09 1:20:22

I hate every one of you guys.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:23

We love you though.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:25

I will say though, as a person who just bought their very own bike, it's very cool to have your very own thing in your garage and customize it the way you want.

SPEAKER_09 1:20:36

Pride of ownership.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:37

Yeah, pride of ownership. Make that shit your own.

SPEAKER_09 1:20:39

You are packing a lot of education.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:43

You go out there and smoke a beer and drink a cigarette and just play with your motorcycle and clean it up a little bit and you know do your thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:54

In the garage by yourself with some music on. It's pretty nice. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:59

That's that is you've now wandered into the world of the potential Cleveland motor listener, where they're like, Yeah, I love having this on the garage when I'm out working on my bikes. Like, you're lying. You haven't worked on any bikes.

SPEAKER_09 1:21:10

I I just I just thought of something kind of awesome. So you go to Athens, is what you're saying, you're going down there? I'll hire you. We we like that. Like, that's cool. There's a lot of hippies down there. Yeah, there are. So I could see her getting on a bike someday with some dude. They're going on a nice little, you know, little lunch date, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:21:23

Right.

SPEAKER_09 1:21:24

Bike breaks down, he's like, I don't know what to do. She's like, step aside. I got this. Yeah. It's gonna be fucking great. Fuck yeah.

unknown 1:21:31

Fuck.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:32

Okay, look. I wouldn't trust any Merritt wasn't certain that I was the man for her until that noise. Yeah. When that noise hit, when she heard a g when she heard a Gerber being unleashed and I fixed her shit, she was like, Matt who?

SPEAKER_07 1:21:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:52

So so you're gonna find this funny. That ex-boyfriend lost a lot of traction. I mean, they were pinned. You got yours on you? She got her gerber?

SPEAKER_01 1:22:00

No, I'm she's not on the clock. I'm not on the clock. I wore my comfy pants.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:05

I'm in I'm in the driveway the other day. No shit. Something happened, something needed to be worked on. Something happened. Yeah. And she did the exact same thing. And I was like, holy shit, you have been hanging out with Phil too long.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:19

No, I came into the shop the other day and she had on cutoff BDU trousers and a black t-shirt and sambas. And I was like, oh fuck.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:28

Well, I kind of looked in the ska the other day. I'm like, shit, we're gonna catch a whole other wave of ska in fucking Athens.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:35

That fucking Gerber tool will save you five to ten thousand steps a day just by the fact that you've got all that right there on your hip, and you don't have to walk in and go grab a screwdriver, or walk in and grab a pair of pliers, or walk in and get a knife, or walk, you know, like you got it right in the room. When I heard Wendy Crockett clean a carburetor right there with just a Gerber tool.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:55

When I heard Wendy Crockett talking about her outbacker multi-tool, like the outbacker, I'm gonna make it very clear.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:03

Well, no, but I I as an out I was standing there listening to you guys talk at one point about things, and like I love the fact that like there was an argument going on about multi-tools, but then the best was a third party comes in and goes, You're talking about the 728 or the 1442.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:18

Exactly. So throw this up, sleepy. This is what Wendy's talking about. We sell the we sell these at the shop. Oh yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:25

I've got one of those in the back floating around some.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:27

Yeah, you do. You should have a couple of them, right?

SPEAKER_07 1:23:29

You more than one, Tom.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:31

Right.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:32

And the funny part is I have like one of everything, but Phil can never find it.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:35

Tom has two of them. There's one sitting in the one he lost a week ago. Um the other one that he lost.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:41

I still can't find the eight millimeter. It's weird.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:43

These are 20 bucks. These are 20 fucking whole dollars. If you don't own one of these, if you don't have this on your motorcycle, in lieu of a toolbox, in lieu of a tool bag. This is the one cheat code. This one thing, it's from Cruise Tools, Z-R-U-Z, like Santa Cruz. Um, Cruise Tools Outback R. That's why everyone calls it an Outbacker, but it's the Outback er uh M14.

SPEAKER_09 1:24:09

It's like it's an unsponsored endorsement.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:11

This is completely. I will contact Cruise Tools next week about my sponsorship. Okay. But here's what I want to make sure you understand is that this has an 8 mil, a 10 mil, and a 12 mil socket. Here's the trick you can ditch the 12 mil. You're almost never gonna use it.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:29

Yeah, but for some reason you're gonna need a 13.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:31

But the 13 for sure, and the 13, when you throw away the 12 mil, the 13 socket fits in the 12 mil slot. And it still works. It has a 13 mil and a 14 mil open end wrench on it. It's got three different spoke wrenches, which is too too many, right? But it does. It has three different spoke wrenches on that cocksucker. It has every hex head you'll need to take apart any Italian or you know Japanese motorcycle. If I have to have a complaint about it, it's because they under fucking the Phillips head on this thing is special needs. Um it's not too sharp.

SPEAKER_06 1:25:08

Oh shit. I just got a text message from Piper. Oh, you did? Is Sarah on the podcast? She's got her own Gerber tool and I don't.

SPEAKER_08 1:25:16

Ohchie.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:20

Hey, hey. I perks are working at the shop. Yeah, I got I got it for free and it was awesome. Best tool I've ever had.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:27

Yeah, we try to make sure everybody has a Gerber tool. Tom, did you get a Gerber tool? No. I didn't give you a Gerber tool. No, I assumed you had it. There is a tool. I'll make sure I'm gonna remedy that.

SPEAKER_07 1:25:35

You know what I have? You know what I have in the back of the shop? Yeah, all the tools.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:38

All the tools.

SPEAKER_06 1:25:39

But I can't. Gamber does have a cheap multi-tool in her life, but she probably could use something better. The one tool that I had, my brother gave it to me. I had it for like a minute and then it got lost. Oh it was a vice grip gerber tool. Like it was like it wasn't Gerber, but it was like a set of vice grips that had all the same kind of things that a Gerber has, but it was a vice grip.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:00

So just so you guys know, that's a thing that exactly exit existed, but it doesn't exist anymore. So if you can lay your hands on them, they're about 150 bucks right now, and they were made by Do It, the Vice Grip Company. So the Vice Grip Company actually made this fucking tool. And if you can lay one, if you can lay your hands on one, this is the real deal. And it is a real vice grip.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:27

That's what it was like. It was so cool. It had everything on the hands. It is a multiple fucking cool.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:34

Yeah. So if you can lay your hands on one of these, they are rare as hens teeth, but they are super, super slick if you can lay your hands on one. I owned it for like a day. Oh, did you really?

SPEAKER_06 1:26:44

I've been like, it just somehow it instantly vanished.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:46

I'm like, so this is the fakey fake one. So here's the knockoff one, if you want, if you want to get one. These are 25 whole dollars.

SPEAKER_07 1:26:55

That looks like a big one.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:56

So you can you can buy a couple of them. They're not they're not real expensive.

SPEAKER_07 1:26:59

Didn't Irwin end up with Stanley cards. But it's an Irwin. I mean, Irwin's. But they bought Stanley. They did. Irwin bought Stanley.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:06

I think they might. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:27:07

Alright, so that's not a shit tool or anything. It's not it's not as good as the actual Vice Grip Prank.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:14

You get a stabber and you get a a uh hex head holder. And a bottle opener. Yeah. Yeah, that's what you get. It's not much.

SPEAKER_09 1:27:20

Oh, so you gotta take a whole you have to pair that with like a bit set or something. Yeah, there's not much going on there.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:25

Right. There's a hex bit holder and there's a decent blade, like a clip point blade with a little sheep suit at the bottom of it. It's not bad. But it's still vice grips. Yeah. It's still vice grips. It still gets the job done. And if you're gonna buy a pair of fucking vice grips for 25 bucks, might as well, you know, get this with a little extra zhuzh on it, as Sean would say. So, you know, get a little extra zhuzh, not a bad thing. But yeah, I am a fucking fiend of multi-tools. I mean, I am oh way deep into them.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:55

You love all your tools.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:56

I do love all my tools. I'm very, I'm always very excited. About the opportunity to have a new tool. What you got? Okay, K. Willen. K. I'm sorry, KW Lion. So it's like Kenworth Lion. I've been a mechanic most of my life. I carry real tools made with real metal. I had one of those given to me and gave it to somebody who didn't know better. Let me tell you a little bit about real tools made of real iron. Unlike the 17 Leatherman tools that I have had and broken and destroyed, Gerber will send you a free cocksucker anytime you want. The guys in Oregon will totally make you whole. So if you ever break a blade on this, which you can because they are, they're they're they're sharpable, right? The the blades on this, you can bend the blade, a clip point blade on a leatherman, you can bend it into the shape of a banana. This will break. These blades on these things can be a little brittle. And if you are reefing on the flathead screwdriver, you can break it. If you're reefing on the file, like using it as a wedge or a pry bar, you can break it. The leatherman blades will bend like a banana. My SOG tools, I've got a couple of SOGs, they are kind of a happy medium between the brittleness and the bendableness. But my problem I have with the SOGs is ergonomically speaking, they don't fly right to hand, they don't open like this. When I need a pair of players, it's because I'm holding something dangerous in my right hand and I need to choke the shit out of it with my left hand. I've tried choking the shit out of it with my fingers and they weren't strong enough. So now I need pliers. And the deployment system of the Gerber system, like literally being able to snap it, I have mine locked right now, but being able to snap it. And then I went crazy on this one because it has the center drive screwdriver, right? So this one cost legit money. This is you know 120 bucks or something for the the the big daddy. But the carbide blades on this will cut through just about anything. Who's this? Kay Willen. I well go chase a you know what?

SPEAKER_06 1:29:58

Go chase a Matco truck.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:00

There you go. Right. Go call Matco because you need a real steel tool. But that's but that's cool if you want to do a real steel tool.

SPEAKER_09 1:30:07

I mean, you're not gonna take a giant pile of tools on your motorcycle.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:11

Right.

SPEAKER_09 1:30:11

And you can, I guess if you really want to get to it.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:13

What he's probably talking about, if you look up here, is the Leatherman crunch. And I found three different ways to break this fucking thing.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:20

Well, here's the thing, too.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:21

And here's the thing Leathermen wouldn't send me a new one when I broke their shit.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:25

Well, you know, no, because they break. And they're I get it.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:29

I get it. You're a mechanic and you're in the shop and you're standing there and you're none of us know anything about your toolbox. But the asymmetrical nature of running your shop, right? Where it's you might be working in the shop on a bike, but you might run out to the parking lot to prep a battery, right? To take a part, or you know, like there's field triage, there's like just like you need to be able to fix things anywhere you are, anytime you are.

SPEAKER_09 1:30:49

He said, Johnny Mack, cheap vice grips don't make good hammers. Leatherman tools are crap, and good tools rust. You know what?

SPEAKER_03 1:30:56

You know what good tools rust.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:59

I am going out of the middle here and everything makes a good hammer.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:03

People's gotta cut a use.

SPEAKER_06 1:31:05

Your tools are junk if they rust.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:07

Uh-oh. Johnny Mack's getting mad. I don't care.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:11

Settle down, settle down. He's obviously a Victorinox man.

SPEAKER_06 1:31:14

Oh boy. Well, I'll do it.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:17

The only thing that goes in my pocket has red handles.

SPEAKER_07 1:31:19

Hey, hang on, hang on, hang on. The best tools, no fucking shit. The best tools come out of the trunk of BMWs. They say Heiko down the fucking side.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:28

Heyko down the side. That's exactly right.

SPEAKER_07 1:31:31

The best tool I've ever had was an 810 Heiko stolen of fucking Mercedes.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:36

Stolen out of the back of a Mercedes. In fact, if you got a tool belt that is an old Mercedes seatbelt and everything on your tool belt is stolen out of the trunk of a Merc or a BMW, you're in my team.

SPEAKER_07 1:31:49

Fucking Heiko, baby. If I can afford a set of Heikos, I'd buy a Mercedes. Otherwise, I'd just steal them in the junkyard.

SPEAKER_06 1:31:59

What is that Gerber tool?

SPEAKER_04 1:32:01

Mine's a center drive. So mine is the the kind of all of them. So they this is the made, actual made in America. So I'll give you the There you go, Kay Wilson.

SPEAKER_06 1:32:12

Made in a fucking America steel tool.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:15

It's the give me a second. I'll I'll tell you exactly what's mine. It's Gerber. You don't like Gerber?

SPEAKER_06 1:32:20

Well, Gerber is. They make the best baby tool. I don't I have the I don't have my Gerber tool that you gave me on my 30th birthday. On your 30th birthday. That also came with the Gerber skeletonized knife, which I still have the knife somewhere. Oh, cool. And I don't know why I don't have that. That Gerber's somewhere.

SPEAKER_07 1:32:38

So this one if you just attach it to your belt, man.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:40

If you're looking for it, it's a brass pro Bass Pro Shops has them for I think $150, $160. Um, it's the center drive, but it's the the the one that you're hunting for, really, you know, the one that the one that kind of has all the fun shit on it, is going to come with a bit set. So it holds all your standard hex built bits in the center drive part. The the pliers do snatch out of the middle, so you still have the Gerber one-handed flick it open action. Uh my my beef with this thing is ultimately there's this weird extra bit holder on the outside of it that doesn't need to be there that like holds one extra bit. You could put one extra hex head bit in there. But if that thing is in the down position, then you cannot get full clamping. So if you got to pull like a nose hair out, you can't pull a nose hair out. If that clamp, if that little extra bit holder is in the down position. So if you want to fold that out of the way, then you can give them the clamps, boss. Um, but that is the deal. And so if you're if you're hunting and you want to know what it is, it's the center drive multi-tool. Uh and they come in black finish, you can get it in a uh stainless finish as well.

SPEAKER_09 1:33:51

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:51

That's what it is. Um, and I've seen them cheaper. You can buy a cheaper version. The reason I buy the Gerber is because if you break one blade on this thing, no questions asked, you mail it off to Oregon, they mail you a brand new one, and they give you a free sheath, a brand new sheath with it, and sometimes they'll give you a free bit holder too.

SPEAKER_09 1:34:11

My sheath could use some cleaning.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:12

My sheath has seen some better days. Yep. And so, yeah, I've kind of I like this. The Gerber center drive for me has been a good investment. They have some other things that are in the center. The reason for the center drive, the reason making such a big deal about it is every multi-tool in the world, when you pull out the Phillips head or the flathead screwdriver, it's on either the left side or the right side of the tool. On the Gerber center drive, this the the screwdriver bit, or you want to put a T15 or T20 in there if you're weird or whatever, um, you are using this and it is perfectly in line. So it is neither left nor right, it is center. So when you are working with this tool, you are not turning it on an oblique angle.

SPEAKER_09 1:34:55

So I wonder if dude would be okay if you had uh Milwaukee andor snap on bits and then just put them in the tool because then what's touching I do so that's yeah, so then if it's touching my instrument, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:35:06

And so my bit set that I have is literally for the shit I work with, so it's got a T5, a T10, a T15, a T25, hex heads from M6, you know, M6 hexes down into like the things I actually use in the shop are in my carrier. There you go. And I bought really nice hex bits from you know good reputable brands so that you know we could kind of the good stuff like Harbor Freight. Like Harbor Freight, right? Exactly. So we could have the ones that we needed, so I could have my Gerber that I carry every day. And don't get me wrong, this is a heavy cocksucker. And if you compare this to the Gen 1 Gerber that didn't have the locking, like the locking blades and everything else, that was you know, a little more like a leatherman. Uh the Gen 1 Gerbers are beautiful, they're smooth and they're small, like like they're they're the size of like a little bit bigger than a big lighter. And they're pretty magical.

SPEAKER_06 1:35:59

I said I told Piper because she was like, Why does Sarah has a Gerber and I don't? I'm like, you gotta earn one from Phil.

SPEAKER_07 1:36:05

Oh wow. Summer internship.

SPEAKER_04 1:36:09

There you go. Yeah. And it's it is a thing, and everybody's like, if you talk to Adam Savage from Mythbusters, right? He's got very strong opinions on why he likes the particular multi-tool that he carries. And I have strong opinions about why I have the multi-tool that I carry. I have probably seven or eight different multi-tools that I rotate and I'll carry from day to day. Now it just so happens, after 40 years of experience, they're all Gerbers. Remember, the army, I was part of the group in the army that got given the very first round of Leathermans. We we were the test subjects. They handed us leathermans for free. And some people kept them, and some people thought this is a great idea and went and bought a Gerber. You know? So I bought a Gerber. Now, do I agree that Gerber has had some questionable changes in their ownership or had some questionable changes in some of the stuff they build? Sure, I do. Yeah, absolutely. Um I just think that the center drive is because one-handed opening and because real a real screwdriver that you can really ref on shit with. And I've never broken a center drive ever. And I use it on some pretty shit, some pretty heavy shit. But Tom, but Mecklefresh is right. It saves you fucking seven hours a week of being like, I'm here, the problem is here, but my tools are there. And I can't imagine what my Batman utility belt would look like if I tried to EDC everything that the Gerber replaces.

SPEAKER_06 1:37:40

If I was still a mechanic at Pride, and I was actually thinking of doing this when I was in radio repair, yeah. I was gonna have the tool vest. Yeah. Where it was Hell yeah, man. I was gonna throw on a vest, and I was gonna have like a bunch of different tools. You could be John Popper. I would just have a bunch of different tools on the bottom. Full of harmonicas.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:56

Yeah, for the longest time I've wanted like a tool belt, you know, like a carpenter.

SPEAKER_06 1:38:00

Because you're a super person, you need a utility belt.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:03

I know. Dun dun dun. I do all the I do all the house handy handy person stuff.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:10

But then sometimes I'm not like skilled enough and it turns out like really bad.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:14

It's okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:15

I drilled like six holes in our wall once. Oh, really? Yeah, I did a hang a hang up.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:20

I still do that. That's what toothpaste. Sunday we're doing sump pump training at my house. It'll be fun. No biggie. No biggie. Got a nice American-made sump pump. Yep.

SPEAKER_09 1:38:29

So it's since it's Girl Power Day. Is it? Well, apparently, because you know Sarah's.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:34

I'm not wearing my feminist shirt. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:38:37

Hey, I am.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:38

You are. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:38:40

Because Missy got so much shit over this. I'm like, no, fuck that. Bring that in pink. Again. Yeah. Fuck that shit. I want it in pink.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:48

Um, sorry, your mid-Ohio Vintage Day shirt isn't macho enough. Oh, I know. You have a you have a raccoon and a tutu.

SPEAKER_07 1:38:55

It's fucking amazing. I fucking love it. Here, can we get it? Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah, it's fucking great. Ain't nothing wrong with that. Missy put that up on the AMA board. Like everybody was like, it's not manly enough. So I posted a bunch of crazy shit with like skulls and guns and flames and bullshit. And so I got I got cucked at the AMA. My wife got double teamed and fucking Eiffel Towered and shit. And nobody thought it was funny.

SPEAKER_04 1:39:19

I watched my wife burn the tire off my motorcycle in Captain's Corners, and all I got was this stupid t-shirt. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:39:26

But I wanted to bring up so Ivy, who's hung out with us now for Ivy. So three years ago, didn't know how to ride. Right. End of that that season, she was riding a four-speed SSR.

SPEAKER_04 1:39:38

Yeah. Oh, instantly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:39:40

Next year, she was tearing around the SSR. In the deep end. And then doing wheelies and then barrel racing. This year, she's jumping your scooter over fire. Oh, yeah. No, having no problem. And then jumped in the Zorball, and we coerced her into crowd surfing, which I dropped that video today. And I'm so proud of her, and I think it's so awesome that she is shenanigan that I want to I wanted to give her something today.

SPEAKER_04 1:40:03

You want to give her a little shenanigan award?

SPEAKER_09 1:40:05

Well, what I want to do is I want to bestow upon her the caretaking of Not a Ramp.

SPEAKER_04 1:40:11

Oh, she's going to become the Not a Ramp master.

SPEAKER_09 1:40:13

She's going to become master of the rap. I think that's a great idea. But here's the important part. Every year she can add an answer. It can not be asked for. It can only be given away from that. If something happens to this ramp, she can create a new Notaramp because she is the person now. And at some point.

SPEAKER_04 1:40:27

Does that mean you forgot it there and Anson already picked it up?

SPEAKER_09 1:40:30

No, no. I have it in the garage. But I I just, you know, because like she's showing up and she's doing this stuff and she's representing for the younger generation. Right. And I want the shenanigans to continue. Okay. And so I think that if if if she's the protector of Notaramp, she has earned it. Yeah. And that way the younger generation is now part of our shenanigans. And if we are no longer here, perhaps our idea is just a little bit more.

SPEAKER_04 1:40:57

I think she's going to add a two before. To Notaramp every year. I think every year she's going to add a two before. And the Notaramp's going to become like a little bit more?

SPEAKER_07 1:41:08

Yeah, a little bit more. Otherwise we're going to have to do that.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:11

I got to get a new pair of uh riding sandals because I'm a little timid about that kind of shit. I don't know if anybody would like to donate a pair of size 15 riding sandals.

SPEAKER_09 1:41:20

At least one where your big toe isn't like literally hanging out the side of whatever.

SPEAKER_06 1:41:24

And I've got to learn to smile because I looked at my picture of the flaming Nada ramp, and I'm like, You're taking it very seriously for an eight-inch launch. And then you look at the slow motion, it's like the front, the front wheel gets a little air, and then the back tire just goes, come on.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:40

I've caught bigger air leaving Aldi.

SPEAKER_06 1:41:42

Well, I'm like, well, I knew you were going to be filming, so I'm like, I'm not eating shit on this one.

SPEAKER_09 1:41:48

Dude, that one you you came down on the front wheel. I thought you were eating. Like, you did a pretty good roller.

SPEAKER_06 1:41:54

No, it was a good roller. No, I didn't I overcooked it. I came, I was like, Oh, yeah. I was like, I landed like straight up and down on the back wheel. No, there was the one time that you landed on the front wheel.

SPEAKER_04 1:42:04

So I don't jump very well.

SPEAKER_09 1:42:06

Oh, dude, nobody does. That's why not a ramp exist.

SPEAKER_04 1:42:08

I came out of Aldi the other day on a customer's bike, and I always park up by where the carts are because I don't want my bike getting hit by some car in the parking light, like Dan's bike, right? Yeah. So I always park where the shopping carts are up on the higher level. So I jumped out of Aldi. I had everything I could carry in my hands, but nothing that fit under the seat of the bike. Oops. I overbought. So I overbought at Aldi. So some of the items got what it was, is it was a customer's bike, and I looked under the seat and I was surprised to find a helmet. Oh and I was planning for no helmet.

SPEAKER_07 1:42:40

It's always the worst.

SPEAKER_04 1:42:41

It is. And so I turned the helmet upside down and put the items, some of the items I had bought into the upside down helmet.

SPEAKER_06 1:42:47

My helmet smell like broccoli.

SPEAKER_04 1:42:52

And did somebody fart my helmet? I put the other items on the floorboard, right, of the scooter, kind of hold them with my feet. But then in order to get off the curb, you do kind of have to do a little, a little, a hop, a bunny hop, right? So I'm gonna bunny hop off the curb because I don't want to go off slow and then high center myself or hit the exhaust or anything. So I'll just do a quick little, you know? So I did a quick little off the curb, but I forgot that this particular bike was a 310. And so there was a little more than available. It was more like and so it did this kind of really sexy rrrr.

SPEAKER_07 1:43:27

Where is Sean for this?

SPEAKER_04 1:43:28

But when it did this, camping, I ended up I ended up going about six feet into the parking lot on my little rrr session. And this dude saw me, and I'm very happy that it didn't hit him, his car, or anything else. And I executed the landing beautifully, except for all the items that were on the floorboards ejected like a James Bond fucking DB5, you know, like a little Hot Wheels toy. You press the button and just shit just goes everywhere. Rock'em sock'em robots. And when I landed, all the items on the floorboard scattered. And I was like, rutro. So I had to put the bike on the sidestand and go scoop up all my shit. But the dude was like, don't care. That was cool wheelie.

SPEAKER_08 1:44:09

I was like, thank you.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:10

That was what I was going for. But I did, I overcooked it. And it is easy to overcook it on an eight-inch ramp. Like, you know, you just don't realize I like not a ramp.

SPEAKER_06 1:44:19

It's the perfect little ramp. It's like, uh, if you really wanted to get a little air, just hit it fast, but it's it's the narrate angle and everything. It's good.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:25

And you can pump it up. Like I pumped up Notter ramp a bunch of times where you can actually get a nice bounce out of it.

SPEAKER_09 1:44:30

Dude, there's some dudes that I don't know how they there were the one kid on that KX, whatever it was, was like four and a half feet in the air off Nada Ramp.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:36

Tim Burke came by on the zero, pumped up the Nada ramp, and and he went four feet up in the air.

SPEAKER_07 1:44:41

That lady with the baby strapped to her chest. Oh my god. On the e-bike. Seriously.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:46

Baby on board launched.

SPEAKER_07 1:44:49

Through the fire, seven feet in the air.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:51

Yeah, baby on board straight up fucking launched.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:54

Yeah, I can't tell you how many uh women I saw with little little like babies on the four-wheelers.

SPEAKER_07 1:45:01

I know. Oh no, the that was probably Carson Brown's girl. It was the lady on a four-wheeler who had her older daughter right behind her straight up vertical.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:19

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:45:20

That was hysterical.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:21

But then you have to ask yourself, child endagement or best life ever?

SPEAKER_07 1:45:25

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:25

I will say that the cute kids, little little like six-year-old kids racing on their little dirt bikes, were so cute.

SPEAKER_07 1:45:35

Especially especially that one on the PW80 that kept bringing the T wire around.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:39

Let's not undersell him. Yeah, that is a TT. That's a competition bike, right?

SPEAKER_07 1:45:42

And he literally kept bringing cardboard around the card. T Tid.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:46

T T 80 kid was like, Are you Unky Phil? And I was like, I'm Unky Phil. And he goes, My dad listens to your podcast, but we're not allowed to listen to the swears. And I was like, fucking awesome kid.

SPEAKER_06 1:45:56

There was a moment, there was a moment that I wish I could pull from, I could snap that picture. It was this toe-headed little blue-eyed kid and like a country, like you could just tell he was a country kid on his bike, and he like pulled up or something, and he was just like moving it around. He was kind of talking to himself, and I'm like, that's the cutest little thing right there. That little kid. Kid's dealing with some shit. He's riding his little bike. I like my bike.

unknown 1:46:20

And I want to go for the city.

SPEAKER_04 1:46:22

I'm gonna have a great time, but I gotta get back and plow that back 40.

SPEAKER_06 1:46:25

He was just like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_07 1:46:27

Like that's kind of how I ride. The second divorce from Darlene is gonna be crazy.

SPEAKER_04 1:46:35

Just having a great fucking time. Your crowd surfing video of uh Ivy and the Zorb is fucking delightful. Thanks. That is delightful. I really wanted to show how I think you captured the spirit of the Zorb. Yeah. Like you talk about things that should you're like, this is a good party. They're burning a tire off a bike over there. There's 97 people throwing beer and spray and shit on each other. This is great. We're having a good time. There's a naked guy with fireworks on his head. What could make it better? Zorb. Yeah. Well, what the fuck's a Zorb? Well, it's an entire inflatable ball that you put a teenager in, of course.

SPEAKER_09 1:47:09

That was my favorite part, wasn't the captain was like, he goes, What the hell is coming up here? What is going on? Oh God, it's the FEMA guys.

SPEAKER_04 1:47:16

It's the FEMA guys. It's always the FEMA guys.

SPEAKER_07 1:47:19

You assholes.

SPEAKER_04 1:47:20

It's always Cleveland Moto.

SPEAKER_07 1:47:22

Fucking FEMA camp. Like, yeah, we're having a great old time and we're inhaling all these Carson gens, and there's half naked people, and motherfucker, these assholes again. I know.

SPEAKER_06 1:47:31

I mean, I want the burnout pit to have a better beer injection system. It's like, well, you're going up there to try to do a burnout, and then somebody pours a beer on your head. It's not like, you know, you're like, okay, I'll take a drink of beer. Right. I could use a drink of beer, but instead it's just bukkake straight to the face hole. Yeah. I mean, like, give me a beer funnel. Right. Next time I'm going to go to the fucking funnel hanging out of my mouth. Yes. Exactly.

SPEAKER_09 1:47:57

You got to be careful though. If you have the bourbon furry with a hose, that fucking guy.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:03

That fucking guy.

SPEAKER_07 1:48:05

Oh, it's hysterical. We were like, what happened to the thing? And then I was in the hallway the other day, and I'm like, oh, it's in the back of the Coleman we haven't touched for a year.

unknown 1:48:13

Oh.

SPEAKER_07 1:48:15

Like we were looking for good job, Tom.

SPEAKER_04 1:48:18

We were, I will legit tell you, if anybody said, Where's the sprayer? I would have said, back of the Coleman. Because we put the Coleman in the trailer last year.

SPEAKER_08 1:48:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:48:27

It hasn't moved an inch. And we put the we put the irrigation sprayer.

SPEAKER_09 1:48:34

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:48:34

We put the the sprayer into the back of the Coleman. I mean, it's like And all the other shit that was in the back of the Coleman's still in the back of the Coleman.

SPEAKER_09 1:48:40

Yeah, it's going to be fine because it's got 190,000 proof fucking alcohol. Well, so here's what's fun.

SPEAKER_06 1:48:44

Tim Hempling has an important message. Oh, oh. It's a gel pad. It is a gel pad.

SPEAKER_04 1:48:53

What's funny is I actually needed to use the sprayer yesterday. So um you could use that, and we'll get a new one for now. Well, it's okay because, you know, sometimes when oils come in super separate. Sometimes when oils get changed, some oils go into the motor and some oils go adjacent to the motor. Right? Right. It happens. And so there's this V7 that we had. And you know, the customer's a great customer, but he's not the kind of customer that's going to be okay with oils outside of his motor. Okay. Just saying that for what it's worth. So I got some, you know, I got some industrial Zepp, industrial cleaner, and I gave it and I, you know, sprayed all the oily parts. And I sprayed all the oily parts, and I was like, I need something to spray some warm water on the soapy parts to make the soapy parts take the oily parts away. And I was like, bum bum bum garden sprayer. So I grabbed the the bourbon fairy's garden sprayer and I filled it up with warm water, as one does. No, there's no battery pack on it. So it needs a battery pack. It doesn't matter though. But here's the fun. So I I put hot water in the bottom of the Bourbon Fairy sprayer. And I pump, pump, pump, pump, pump. And I hit it. Well, the entire pump assembly is still full of bourbon. The hose and everything. The hose, the pump. There's about seven ounces of bourbon left in the sprayer.

unknown 1:50:16

Nice.

SPEAKER_04 1:50:16

So I sprayed it on dude's motorcycle, which was warm from the test ride. And I was like, well, that's delicious. And my instantly, the little the little screw I have in the back of my brain that works on bourbon, my little screw in the back of my bourbon went, I should go get some bourbon. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:50:33

I was like, I have a bunch of bourbon. It's a new seat conditioner we offer for all our bikes.

SPEAKER_07 1:50:38

It's called the bourbon trailer. I literally came out in the driveway and saw that puddle and I was like, oh fuck, what the hell? What is leaking?

SPEAKER_04 1:50:44

No, it was, yeah, exactly. It was just a cleanup. It was just a cleanup. And yeah, there we go. That that's it. Good for good for us.

SPEAKER_09 1:50:54

And you don't have enough Harleys to make it unbelievable.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:00

Somebody pulls in the driver and they're like, what? You start working on Harleys on this?

SPEAKER_07 1:51:02

The funny part is this year it technically wasn't the Bourbon Ferry. It was the Fireball Ferry.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:06

No, it was the Bourbon Ferry. Well, let me let me. I'm gonna I I believe that Luke and myself can give states evidence. Well, yes. There were at least eight bottles of bourbon. There was the the handle full of mixed bourbon, and then there was two. Two shooters, two squirt bottles. Fireball was an option.

SPEAKER_06 1:51:27

I have fireball. But primary was bourbon shooting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:30

There were two fireball options, and when we got down to nothing left but fireball, it was time to shut the party down.

SPEAKER_09 1:51:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:38

Yeah. When we got down to nothing but fireball, we were like, we're walking back to the ball.

SPEAKER_09 1:51:41

And the thing is, the failure rate, like you hit fireball in somebody's eyes.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:47

Dude, a lot of people took took bourbon in the fucking eye holes. Yeah. So the the sprayer is the better delivery system.

SPEAKER_06 1:51:55

Yeah, single stream source.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:57

The sprayer, because with those bottles with the holes poked in the top of the water bottles, they go everywhere.

SPEAKER_09 1:52:03

It's like it's like you know, it's like peeing after, well, never. No.

SPEAKER_04 1:52:07

It's like the first pee when you wake up in the morning. Thank you. It goes everywhere. Yeah. Super, super something.

SPEAKER_07 1:52:13

Well, I mean, for the for the for the I kept trying to send people down to Dollar General to go get super soakers.

SPEAKER_04 1:52:18

Ah, uh.

SPEAKER_07 1:52:18

And everybody's like, yeah, we'll go to we'll go get and like it kept getting later and later. I'm like, who the fuck is going to Dollar General?

SPEAKER_04 1:52:24

Right. And nobody went. Nobody's going to Dollar General. Are you kidding me?

SPEAKER_06 1:52:28

It'll be rectified.

SPEAKER_04 1:52:29

It'll be made a whole for next year. It'll be fine for next year. It'll we won't be even a slight inconvenience.

SPEAKER_07 1:52:35

Next year he's dual wielding.

SPEAKER_04 1:52:37

Next year, Bourbon Fairy. I believe that either I think the sprayer works good. Yeah. I think the way it is, but I do think squirter or uh garden sprayer bandolero. Yes. So I think a a nice shoulder strap. And then in the shoulder straps, we can just have little bottles of like Shanke's or Underberg or little shooters. That sounds like a job for uh Perry Security. Yes. Yes, there they're I already have such items. So I have a band, I have a beardelier, but it's a good one.

SPEAKER_06 1:53:09

Oh my god. And I mean it's only had Roundup and everything else in it. That's safe to drink, though. So you know. Yeah, Roundup's safe.

SPEAKER_07 1:53:15

Yeah, it's glycephate. Yeah, let's go.

SPEAKER_04 1:53:17

We're okay. We're fine. Yeah, that's cool. No problem.

SPEAKER_07 1:53:20

I was mentioning the Underberg bandolier to somebody at uh oh the Boston guys at uh mid-Ohio, and they're like, I'm sorry, what? I said, Yeah, they're about this size.

SPEAKER_04 1:53:31

I I have them.

SPEAKER_07 1:53:32

And every bartender in America, that's what they drink.

SPEAKER_04 1:53:34

And he's the Underberg thing is just of the promo programs, Underberg is a little tiny snorkeler like Jaegermeister is, right? It's a little tiny airport bottle. And the idea is, you know, it's uh digestive, you're supposed to have it after a meal to keep your tummy from getting upset. But the red cap on it looks like a Tabasco cap. And you save up the caps. And when you save up enough caps, you send them in and they will send you Underberg promo items, branded merchandise, you know, that Chanky's whip stuff. And so the first item though that I think everybody gets is the Underberg Bandolero. So you get the, you know, you get the Underberg Bandolero, and it's you know set up to hold like 24 bottles of Underberg. Which is 23 bottles too much because Underberg's not exactly the kind of thing you're like, that was great, let me have another one.

SPEAKER_07 1:54:23

Let's let's do 47 shots of what are you drinking under there?

SPEAKER_04 1:54:26

Underberg. I think it was very funny that um Liza, neither Liza nor Wendy could pronounce Malort in their retelling of the Malort story, where Liza admitting to giving Malort to some underage people in the most guarded of possible conditions, of course. Um, I can tell you that the Bourbon Ferry was doing a very good job of screening potential recipients.

SPEAKER_06 1:54:59

I'm not going down for that. He's not going down for that.

SPEAKER_07 1:55:03

I I bounced, I bounced last year and deferred to you. Yeah, for sure. Because I went, no, I'm not carding these fucking.

SPEAKER_04 1:55:10

They're not gonna card people for the Bourbon Ferry.

SPEAKER_07 1:55:13

I'm I like how old are you? You can't, you're 14.

SPEAKER_04 1:55:16

It was two type.

SPEAKER_06 1:55:17

There were three girls that it wasn't necessarily questionable, but I'm like, are you 21? She's like, I'm 23, I'm 26. I'm like, okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:55:24

What's that? Surely steel makes a two-stroke sprayer, right? Yeah, steel does make a fucking two-stroke. Yeah, of course they do.

SPEAKER_09 1:55:31

It was Moto Hop, of course it is.

SPEAKER_04 1:55:33

Yeah, Matt, that's a great idea. Like, I I have no problem with any of that. I think that the delivery system of the liquor, no problem. Absolutely not. You know what? Yeah, who wants to drink from the fire hose? Who wants to drink from the fire hose? Every single person wants to drink from the fire hose.

SPEAKER_06 1:55:51

That sprayer was perfect. It was like just a nice little it was.

SPEAKER_04 1:55:54

It was great. So the strayer, the squirt the sprayer will come back. Squirter will come home. It did a good thing. It was a good thing. It was absolutely perfect in every way. You got one good thing. You did one good thing. Congratulations. You got one good thing. The uh I have I really And you should be very proud of the Zorballs.

SPEAKER_09 1:56:10

The Zorballs are awesome.

SPEAKER_06 1:56:11

They're fucking fantastic.

SPEAKER_09 1:56:13

I had a vision on that one.

SPEAKER_07 1:56:14

You did have a vision. You know what? I I question why you bought those in the first place. And now that I've seen the video, I'm like, nope. Thank you. Perfect.

SPEAKER_09 1:56:22

Thank you. But it didn't. I had a vision, but I knew that my old ass could not be the person in it. The problem is you were first. Well, yeah, you broke me in for you. You basically broke your knee.

SPEAKER_04 1:56:33

Yeah. It's there's no doubt. Crowd surfing in a Zorball, you either need a very strong crowd or a very light Zorbrider. Yeah. So the Zorbrider has to be super lightweight because the Zorb in his of itself is heavy.

SPEAKER_09 1:56:48

But can we can we go back for a second and say any normal kid would have fallen out of the hole. There was no end to it. She was like holding on to straps. She wedged herself in there to stay in there.

SPEAKER_04 1:57:00

The reason the Zorb is like it's like a wacky ball that always kind of looks at the bottom, is because she had made herself into a potato bug. Yes. Inside the Zorb. So it wasn't like a buckeye where the the the tender inside is evenly distributed inside the Zorb. No, she was a potato bug inside the Zorb. And so depending on what side of the Zorb she was in, now if she would have strapped in the five-point harness that is inside the Zorb.

SPEAKER_06 1:57:29

So you could say that she was able to absorb the fall.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:34

She did absorb the fall. Um that was such a dad joke.

SPEAKER_04 1:57:40

I've been nice to you.

SPEAKER_08 1:57:42

I like her.

SPEAKER_04 1:57:45

I love I love the 19-year-old sounding board on that one. Yes. Yeah, that's it. Way to go, FUD. That's it. Wow. Um, if you're not doing anything September 2nd through 6th, you know, uh, that's before that Americans call Labor Day. Uh we're gonna, I mean, I'm gonna be going for Labor Day. I'm gonna be going to uh Chicago for the Vespa Club of America rally. But if you want to one up me, you can go to Mandela DeLoreo and go to the Motigucsi rally. And it's the Motiguetsi homecoming. Always, thousands and thousands of people on motorcycles in the beautiful town of Mandela DeLoreo on beautiful Lake Como in the best time of the year, September 3rd through 6th at World Gucci Days. This year is special because Sleepy's gonna put the picture up on the screen. Not only will you get to see the world's first ever um what do they call those things? A wind tunnel?

SPEAKER_07 1:58:40

Wind tunnel?

SPEAKER_04 1:58:41

Yep, wind tunnel made out of an old bomber engine that a guy roasted himself to death on. Uh that that's real, that happened. And not only get to see that, but you get to see the brand new Motogutzi museum and factory.

SPEAKER_06 1:58:54

I don't want to ask, but yeah, I need a little more information about that. How did he do that? So it turns out was that while it was in war fighting? No.

SPEAKER_04 1:59:02

No. So it turns out that when you get on a motorcycle and you're in a stationary situation, yeah, and you're kind of sitting on the motorcycle, you're in the tuck, and you're in the tuck, and you're you're gunner for jolly she's worth.

SPEAKER_06 1:59:17

Wind tunnel.

SPEAKER_04 1:59:17

And the wind tunnel is a World War I leftover bomber engine. Making lots of wind. Making all kinds of wind, right? Yeah. And then fire gets injected into the situation. Oh, the bike caught on fire.

SPEAKER_07 1:59:31

Yeah.

unknown 1:59:32

Oh.

SPEAKER_07 1:59:32

Yeah, bad day. And yeah, he was not ghostwriter after all.

SPEAKER_04 1:59:35

Yeah, he was not ghostwriter after that. So um the bike exploded and he died. So when you're looking at this picture, the big orifice, the big giant gaping maw of it is the air gazinta. And then if you go back a little further, you'll see a much smaller tube. That's the that's the business part portion of it. So there's this house in here where they keep all the testing devices and all that good stuff. But this is the air going in, a giant goddamn venturi. And then in the middle of the venturi is where the motorcycle and the rider would be. And it turns out that if the giant fucking propeller-driven, I mean gasoline-powered, piston-powered airplane engine loses its shit full of oil and gasoline and boom booms. Oh, that's what happened. And it's in front of the rider. Yeah. Backblast area not clear.

SPEAKER_07 2:00:24

It's it's funny to me.

SPEAKER_06 2:00:25

So do they use that still or that's done? No, it's done.

SPEAKER_07 2:00:28

Well, it's funny to me to think that Gucci cared about aerodynamics. Yes. But then I remember, then I remember the dustbin. Yes, exactly. And like, on one hand, I'm like, how the fuck did the Eldorado and the Ambassador era in the V700 ever want to be aerodynamic? Because they're not. They are not. And then I was like, oh wait, right, the dustbin stuff.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:48

Right.

SPEAKER_07 2:00:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 2:00:49

Yeah. What do you do if you're there, you're in this wind tunnel, and you're like, this is cool, and all of a sudden, probably apparently combust.

SPEAKER_07 2:00:58

Nothing.

SPEAKER_06 2:00:58

What can you do?

SPEAKER_01 2:00:59

Nothing.

SPEAKER_09 2:01:00

Stop drop and roll. By the time you figure out what it is was going on, you would have been like fucking mauled, probably.

SPEAKER_07 2:01:07

It would have been ugly fucking kindergarten.

SPEAKER_04 2:01:08

It would have been ugly. There's no doubt about it. But yeah, when you do think about the Moto Goodsi, the MotoGutzy V8, right? The MotoGutsi V8, that bike, there is no doubt about it. Uh you look at that thing and you're like, hmm, that is a very aerodynamic machine.

SPEAKER_07 2:01:23

They spent like five whole minutes on aerodynamics.

SPEAKER_04 2:01:26

On the MotoGutsi V8? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, they made dustbins illegal because they were too spicy. Exactly. Right. I have the perfect dustbin.

SPEAKER_06 2:01:34

Oh, you do? Yeah, that nose cone. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 2:01:37

He's got a banana nose cone.

SPEAKER_06 2:01:40

It's a 1950s Beechcraft nose cone. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow.

SPEAKER_09 2:01:45

I couldn't. Can you imagine them not noticing that this might blow over if they were in wind?

SPEAKER_04 2:01:50

Well, I know they work though. Really? They worked really well. Great unless there was a side wind. Well, it was actually the problem was the bikes were going faster than the tires could deal with. Well, too. And the other part of the water. But it wasn't so much a side wind problem.

SPEAKER_07 2:02:02

That apparently because they were really great. They were aerodynamic. They were fast as fuck. Right.

SPEAKER_02 2:02:10

Yeah, that's yeah, right.

SPEAKER_07 2:02:12

So like everything failed but the aerodynamics. Right.

SPEAKER_06 2:02:14

But tell us how you really feel, Tom. They sucked.

SPEAKER_07 2:02:17

But they sound great.

SPEAKER_06 2:02:18

Yeah. Yeah. And I guess the Tom, you have a challenge. I want you to tell me something great about a motorcycle, any bike.

SPEAKER_07 2:02:25

Which one? I think you get the pick. I mean, have you ever heard any Moto Gutsy V7 Ulmwards, the V twin?

SPEAKER_04 2:02:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 2:02:36

At full chat, no mufflers.

SPEAKER_04 2:02:39

Or Agostinis. Exactly.

SPEAKER_07 2:02:41

I mean, I understand that is the most orgasmic sound you will ever hear.

SPEAKER_04 2:02:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 2:02:45

Totally with you. So there are some things you like about motorcycles.

SPEAKER_07 2:02:48

Absolutely. Okay, I have to say something because I met a guy, I met a guy, met a guy.

SPEAKER_06 2:02:54

I mean, I can see why being a mechanic would make you big bikes.

SPEAKER_07 2:02:57

I met some guy in Ohio. He's got current. And I said, look, I'm sorry, I'm the curmudgeon. I'm always the curmudgeon. And the guy looks at me and he goes, No, the problem is you're a mechanic. And he says, you understand and you relate to the fact that everything has a mechanical fail point that you constantly have to deal with. So there are things that are going to be worse and better on your scale, but everything is going to have this point where you're like, fuck, I hate dealing with that bullshit. And so the problem is everything I look at comes from a lens of fuck, I gotta fix this fucking thing.

SPEAKER_06 2:03:30

And that's why I'm the motherfucking Honda Whisperer. There you go.

SPEAKER_04 2:03:33

That's it. That's it. Exactly. And I actually John sees the beauty hiding inside, waiting to come out, and Tom hate fucks it. Yeah. I will I will literally Tom's Tom's like, fuck you. Why are you so fucking broken?

SPEAKER_07 2:03:48

Well there's this thing, there's this mechanical mechanic. There has been this thing lately on TikTok and everything else where they're like, you always have to go, you always have to call the guy. When it doesn't work, you always have to call the guy that can start a fucking rock. And the problem is I literally had to look at this and go, fuck it, I'm that guy. Nope. That literally can make anything work. That's why you are now John McLech, the mechanical romantic.

SPEAKER_06 2:04:14

The romantic mechanic. It's tough when the only person you could possibly call would be yourself. That's why my wife doesn't understand. Why don't you just ask for help? I'm like, if I can't fucking do it, who can? Right.

SPEAKER_03 2:04:31

There's no there's no out from there. No, Phil, you don't need to do this. We can call a guy.

SPEAKER_04 2:04:38

Yeah, but he'll fuck it up.

SPEAKER_06 2:04:40

Not the way I want it. He'll fuck it up. It's not even about the way I want it. If I can't do it, fuck it up. Who else is gonna do it?

SPEAKER_09 2:04:47

There's there's there's every single person that I would ever trust to touch any of my motorcycles is in this room.

SPEAKER_04 2:04:53

Right, exactly. Exactly. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 2:04:58

The one guy I trust to touch my motorcycles is in this room. Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 2:05:02

That's that's really what it comes down to. And and I'm also the guy that's like, okay, well, I put that together, I've checked it out, everything's running great. I move the bike. Fuck. Where did that eight millimeter nut come from? Fuck. Where did that eight? Because I start with a clean floor and I end with a clean floor.

SPEAKER_01 2:05:28

Right.

SPEAKER_04 2:05:28

And if I move a fucking bike and I'm done, and then I see a fucking rogue piece of hardware, then I'm like, well, well, fuck. I gotta take it all back apart again now. Yeah. Because one, two problems. One, it's not where it belongs, and two, I don't recognize it intimately.

SPEAKER_07 2:05:49

Well, so the reality is you have to be autistic enough to know exactly where that eight millimeter would exist in your universe. And so you look at that thing and go, well, that's not part of that fucking bike.

SPEAKER_04 2:06:02

But there's nothing to worry about. That's not part of that part of that bike. But you know what?

SPEAKER_09 2:06:07

I'm such a fucking nut job. I'll take it to bed when I can't figure it out. I'll take it in the house and I'll be looking at it, and then I'll take it to bed and I'll have it on my fucking nightstand. Really? And it'll be three in the morning and I'll wake up and go, oh, I fucking know where it's.

SPEAKER_06 2:06:29

One thing I'm not gonna find out is where that's fucking M6 bolt that came from that's in the oil pan of my Serento. Good. You know what? This is what that's extra.

SPEAKER_04 2:06:39

Today I had the discussion with Sarah about how important you are versus how far your own name is away from your body. Right? And so my dad used to have a tattoo on his bicep that said Phil. And he had a little fruit basket around it, you know, like back in the 50s, they had some various fruits. And he had he had the name fruit, he had the name Phil on his bicep. And so, you know, if you have your own name tattooed on your body, you can get very far. You didn't get very far. I mean, that's only to remind myself who I am. If you have a shirt on, and on the shirt it says Phil on the shirt, that's because you're not going to be here long, and everyone needs to know who you are because your established value in the company is somewhat transient. So you have a name on your shirt. So when the truck full of shirts shows up, they know which one to give you. You haven't made it very far. If your name jumps off of your chest on your shirt, and if your name jumps onto your desk, well, you're doing pretty good. Your name has now officially left your body, and you have a sphere of influence that now involves furniture. That's pretty good. If your name jumps a little further and the the name is on the door and there's other desks in the room, and this is your office, now your sphere of influence might even involve other humans. And this is Phil's office, and everybody in here works for Phil or part of Phil's team, you're doing quite well. If you get off the elevator and you're on Phil's floor and there's many offices, you're doing very well. If your name's on the outside of the building, you're doing incredibly well. Your name has gotten very far away from your body. If your name is on the trucks that deliver your products across America, you're doing extremely well. Because now the name, now your name has left your body, and now it's thousands and thousands of miles away. And if your name is on an airplane, it's doing really, really well. And if your name's on a country, you're doing incredibly well. So the further away your name is from your body, that's a sign of how well you're doing. And I just think that it's very funny that on this mechanic's hoodie here, they automatically assume that you're gonna have your name printed on it.

SPEAKER_01 2:09:02

It's like that shirt, you'd never, you never, I'd never have to walk anywhere to get a tool for it.

SPEAKER_04 2:09:08

No, you wouldn't. And and what I can only envision is that this entire shirt is full of magnets.

SPEAKER_07 2:09:12

That's what I was thinking.

SPEAKER_04 2:09:13

Magnetic. So the entire hoodie is just full of magnets.

SPEAKER_07 2:09:15

And it's gonna weigh like 30 pounds.

SPEAKER_04 2:09:17

It doesn't matter. I throw tools to her and they stick.

SPEAKER_07 2:09:19

Yeah, yeah. And it and when I need to ask you, just And when I throw tools, it's an anger management issue.

SPEAKER_04 2:09:27

Wait, wait, she's done doing a job and just roll her on the ground on the floor under the lift, and she just picks up all the tools.

SPEAKER_09 2:09:36

Or like you I think that's hilarious. What we used to do um on the parking lot is roll that magnet thing so your customer didn't get any flat. Yeah, nails and screws. You just roll her.

SPEAKER_04 2:09:45

We call that the f the fod job, right? You're looking for fodd. Yeah, you're finding foreign objects and debris. That fod job is important, man. It's fun. Yeah, it's it's it's the fod job is fun. I love doing the FOD. Yeah, and you're like, you get done, and you're like, oh shit. Yeah, there's a lot of stabby shit in my parking lot.

SPEAKER_09 2:10:02

What the fuck did a four-inch nail come from in your parking lot?

SPEAKER_04 2:10:05

Like, it's crazy. It is crazy. It's it's absolutely stupid how much stuff ends up in my parking lot. Yeah, and what's the the dumbest thing is every time I put a reflector on a license plate bracket, those little reflectors that we all have, and my shop's been using them for 26 years. You buy a bike from my shop, you get red, blue, yellow, you get some reflectors on your license plate bracket.

SPEAKER_09 2:10:27

I love those things.

SPEAKER_04 2:10:28

I love them. But a reflector has three four components. It has the reflector itself, the M4 screw on it, with a wing nut, a washer, and the dumbest spring that ever lived on the planet. And I understand how they want you to operate it. They want you to put the reflector bolt through, the washer, and then the spring, and then the wing nut. So the spring is acting as a device to keep the wing nut from backing the fuck off. I get it. I know how that works. But I also know that 90% of the time, if that spring is on there, the spring will lose its attention because it's a garbage ass spring. And you'll end up losing the wing nut and the spring and the washer and the reflector. How do you ask me how I know? 26 years. If you take the spring and you throw it as far as you can throw it, and then put the wing nut on, with or without the washer, and put that fucker on tight, it'll never leak.

SPEAKER_09 2:11:23

That's the thing. I mean, you gotta put a little put a little zhuzh on it. You gotta give it like two thumb dugas.

SPEAKER_04 2:11:28

You give it a half duga, yeah. Right? And you give it a half duga, and it'll never go anywhere, they'll last forever. The problem is sometimes in my parking lot you can see those springs. And sometimes in my parking lot, you can see those little fucking washers that go with the springs. And the washers are the wrong size for everything, by the way. Don't think you're gonna save those for any important task, they're just the wrong size washer for just about everything.

SPEAKER_09 2:11:50

Four millimeter doesn't come into my life very often. Not very frequently.

SPEAKER_04 2:11:53

I never have I been like, I'm putting a pop rivet on, I need a four millimeter washer. Right wrong answer. So when Customers are in my shop in my parking lot and they're being helpful. They're like, Oh my god, look at that. That that that washer, that spring that obviously fell out of the last bike you worked on. Okay, way to go. Like, things are always as worst as they can be, fella. Like, way to go, borrowing trouble person, or it could just be one of these fucking license plate bracket reflectors I put on nine million of, and you know, I didn't make it to my pocket this time. People find shit in my parking lot and they are like proud. They're so pick it up and hand it to you. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 2:12:33

Hey, I found this washering.

SPEAKER_04 2:12:35

Oh, I love it when they're like, I'll bet this is off the last bike you worked on.

SPEAKER_07 2:12:38

I should start throwing bearings, like just random bearings to get the fuck out of the fucking ball bag.

SPEAKER_01 2:12:44

Oh my god, that's a cat bearing.

SPEAKER_06 2:12:46

Sarah, do you tell people to get the fuck out of here?

SPEAKER_01 2:12:48

No, I really try to be nice, but when I don't want to deal with it, I guess.

SPEAKER_06 2:12:52

Why are you speaking with anybody at all?

SPEAKER_01 2:12:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:12:55

That was a John Mecklefresh Twitter question.

SPEAKER_06 2:12:57

Yeah, I got you.

SPEAKER_07 2:12:58

So the the problem is everybody's trying.

SPEAKER_04 2:13:00

She shot she shadows me. So she'll shadow me around sometimes, and I'm like, yay. She wants to talk to customers. Like she picked up the phone for a few days, and I was like, oh no, no, no, no, no. Picking up the phone is an art form around here. Yeah, there's like seven layers of psychology that happens in one phone call.

SPEAKER_07 2:13:17

I always say if a customer talks to me, Phil and Renee both have failed.

SPEAKER_04 2:13:21

Yeah, we've we're clearly dead.

SPEAKER_07 2:13:23

And and the problem, and the problem is literally every time they've made it. Every time I roll up the door, they're always there. Customer rolls in, like the exact moment I roll up that door, somebody rolls up and I'm like, motherfucker. And they all come in with the same thing.

SPEAKER_09 2:13:39

We at one point when I was there, we had two levels of chains. I created a cardboard thing like this big that said, do not enter. This means fucking you. That's you. No, seriously, don't come past the fucking chain. Yeah. And then everybody just walked past that too. Exactly. Didn't give a fuck. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_04 2:13:56

Any permeable barrier. It doesn't matter what it is.

SPEAKER_09 2:13:59

I mean, a monkey gun, I can get through it. He's obviously not talking about me.

SPEAKER_07 2:14:02

No, not me. If nobody should has shown up all day. Right. If I roll up that door, six cars will pull in the parking lot. Like, did you all just wait at the school across the street?

SPEAKER_09 2:14:16

It's like those things like the that new theory of whatever, like uh like when you shoot atoms to a thing, it's only if you view it. As soon as Tom rolls it up, there's six people mismaterialized. If a tree falls, yeah, it's cool.

SPEAKER_04 2:14:29

If a tree falls over in the forest and nobody's there to hear it, will the customer talk to Tom? Yes, they will.

SPEAKER_06 2:14:35

They always think you don't mean them.

SPEAKER_04 2:14:36

Right. Oh, you mean other people? Yeah, it says no admittance employees only. And you'd be amazed at how many people I hired in the past week.

SPEAKER_09 2:14:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:14:45

Yeah. The it is a guaranteed, it is a lock, but nobody understands if you want to get on the wrong side of a mechanic, yeah, as fast as humanly possible, it's go where you're not supposed to be. It's just go where you're not supposed to be.

SPEAKER_06 2:15:01

So I did not shoot in the mouths of any young ones, anything. Fucker. I just read that.

SPEAKER_07 2:15:10

That's the problem. It's not that I want to.

SPEAKER_06 2:15:11

Matt, shame on you for laughing.

SPEAKER_04 2:15:13

In the army, we used to have a term that said bodies create bodies, right? So, like, if you're if you're ever anywhere and there's bodies, you need to leave that area because bodies create bodies. The bodies got there somehow. It's fine. So the bodies create bodies things happen for real when I'm rolling bikes out. Because when the parking lot's just dry, when the parking lot's just a parking lot, nobody. But the second there's activity, and you know, they talk about like those velociraptors, they see movement, right? And so they'll see me pushing a bike out. And the second, and I can look out at the traffic on the street, and I can see somebody who's like only thinking about dunking donuts. But they see me pushing a bike out, and they're like, Whoa, that looks more interesting than donuts. I'm gonna pull in there and talk to that guy for a while. I'm sure he'd like to hear the story about my uncle's Hercomer Battle Scooter or whatever the fuck he's got. And I promise you that I can tell when it's coming. The one time when I totally said, watch Sleepy, these two guys are gonna turn around, and one guy's gonna walk up to us.

SPEAKER_08 2:16:08

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:16:08

And I'm like, Sleepy's like, how the fuck did you know that? You're a wizard. I'm like, no, I got fucking time and grade, man. I know what old men look like when they're watching. You can read the micro expressions. I can read the micro expressions. I told a guy on the telephone he was talking to me about a Janice. And I told him on the phone, I was like, All you guys that call me, you're all in your 70s. And he's like, wait, what do you mean? No, I'm not in my 70s. I was like, you're totally in your 70s. And I got in an argument with him about how whether or not he was in his 70s. So I hung up the phone with him after, you know, he basically tried to talk to me for way too long about a bike he wasn't gonna buy anyway, and he's on the other side of the country. I Googled his fucking phone number. And you know what? Bitch is 72 years old, sucks being right all the time. So when he called me back and I said, Hey, there you are in St. Paul, Minnesota, I said, You on the phone, you tried to lie to me. You're 72 years old. I'm not 72 years old. I'm like, Google thinks you are. And I'm like, I I I'm literally looking at a picture of your house right now, and the garage doors open, and I see that Harley Davidson you were telling me about. So Google can't be too wrong about everything. Google knows everything. You're 72 years old. You tried to lie to me.

SPEAKER_09 2:17:19

I when I saw you post that Janice, which is a beautiful Batman's Janice? Oh yeah. Batman's Janice. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 2:17:26

It is the weirdest custom job. It is a really good color combination.

SPEAKER_09 2:17:32

I like it a lot, but I'm just saying, like, when I saw it, I was like, oh, Phil's gonna be getting some interesting sales calls. Oh, you don't know. That that that color combo and everything on it is is every freak that is like a Janice, like rubs his um throw it up leg. Throw it up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:17:48

The picture doesn't do it justice. The seats are ox blood.

SPEAKER_07 2:17:51

It really doesn't.

SPEAKER_04 2:17:52

The seats are ox blood. The gas tank is polished aluminium, like chrome. It's dope. And all the paint, everything. The frame matches the frame matches the bodywork, which is like a super expensive option. I looked at the build sheet for this bike, it's over $17,000. $17,000. The fucking gas cap is $300.

SPEAKER_09 2:18:12

I mean, it does look like you're like riding through the battlefield. It does.

SPEAKER_04 2:18:16

I mean, like, this is this is that like, you know, when they do all the like prequels and all the shit about like if Batman was shot during World War I. This is the this is the Caped Crusader detective. This is Batman's motorcycle circa 1925.

SPEAKER_06 2:18:31

Well it's channeling an SS 100 Bro superior.

SPEAKER_04 2:18:34

It is. You're right. You're absolutely right.

SPEAKER_09 2:18:36

Like, and the bike riders, this was the before.

SPEAKER_04 2:18:39

Yes.

SPEAKER_09 2:18:40

Before they stripped it down and had sex with each other.

SPEAKER_04 2:18:44

This is very much the Batman Halcyon 450.

SPEAKER_01 2:18:48

I will say though, those aren't Batman's colors, those are Batwoman's colors.

SPEAKER_04 2:18:52

Are they Batwoman's colors? Oh, let's look again.

SPEAKER_01 2:18:54

Batwoman's colors are red and black, and Batman's colors are black and yellow.

SPEAKER_03 2:19:00

Oh.

SPEAKER_09 2:19:02

Dun dun dun dun dun dun. Fixing bikes, dropping knowledge.

SPEAKER_06 2:19:07

Wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:19:09

I know some comics.

SPEAKER_06 2:19:10

Is there a difference between Batwoman and Batgirl? Yes. Yes. Yeah. Batgirl's bike was. Well, I don't want to even get into my affinity for Batgirl, who though is probably right now way over. I mean like 97. Yeah. So it's not even a big thing.

SPEAKER_01 2:19:28

Batgirl's colors are uh purple. Purple and yellow.

SPEAKER_04 2:19:31

There's the original Bat Cycle with the Robin go-kart and Robber's in Robin's currently in the y'all take it position.

SPEAKER_07 2:19:37

Well, I I loved I loved the fact that whenever they fired off the sidecar, it came back out back around that they did not know where it was going to land. So he was always fucking scared to death.

SPEAKER_09 2:19:51

Did this bike come out before Vetter? Did he get his idea? Yeah, it did.

SPEAKER_04 2:19:55

He was like, talk about your dustbin fairy.

SPEAKER_07 2:19:57

But like, but like was it Burt Ward? Is that his name?

SPEAKER_04 2:20:00

Yeah, Burt Ward.

SPEAKER_07 2:20:01

They'd put him on the sidecar and they'd launch the sidecar, and the sidecar would just fuck off.

SPEAKER_02 2:20:05

He's like, fuck that.

SPEAKER_07 2:20:06

And like Burt Ward apparently apparently came out years later and was like, yeah, I had no control, and it would just fucking fuck off like a like a shopping cart.

SPEAKER_04 2:20:13

Yeah, this was the this is the one they fixed it. This is when they fixed it, and they used a they used a Harley Davidson with a style sidecar on it. Because the other one was such a train wreck. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 2:20:24

Dynamically uh the ambiguously gay duo.

SPEAKER_07 2:20:29

It does look like a giant penis.

SPEAKER_03 2:20:31

It does look like a bad dynamically ambiguous.

SPEAKER_04 2:20:36

I don't know what you're talking about. Batgirl motorcycle, please. Yeah, Batgirl. Exactly. I want to see Batgirl. The Batgirl Motorcycle is a little yellow battery.

SPEAKER_06 2:20:44

It was a yellow, uh, that was based on like a Yamaha. Yep. It might have been like a twin jet or something like that. There you go.

SPEAKER_04 2:20:55

There it is. There we go. Bum bum bum.

SPEAKER_06 2:20:59

That's a badass little the the fiberglass working with the colour.

SPEAKER_04 2:21:02

It's just, it's just, I love the ruffles. I wonder if it's a big one. And then there's like a little train at the back of it for some strange reason.

SPEAKER_07 2:21:08

Because Barrys did the car. I wonder if Barris did the white one. There was a white one. Like look at the look at the windscreen. It's just a windscreen is a bubble.

SPEAKER_04 2:21:15

Yeah, it's a it's a bubble. It was a bubble off of another product.

SPEAKER_07 2:21:21

And drugs.

SPEAKER_04 2:21:22

No, I'm gonna tell you, the never left the 60s were remarkably undruggy. Yeah, it wasn't until the 70s when the shit got real weird.

SPEAKER_07 2:21:30

Yeah, that was Qua Lutes.

SPEAKER_06 2:21:31

Well, there was this whole thing before that acid existed and it wasn't illegal yet.

SPEAKER_02 2:21:35

It was oh, there you go. That was kind of a wild time. Never heard of it. Cocaine existed before.

SPEAKER_06 2:21:41

It was just a all the drugs that existed before they were illegal.

SPEAKER_04 2:21:44

Tom's gonna like this one. He'll actually be able to name them the motorcycle. Tom can name this bike. I'll bet you he can.

SPEAKER_09 2:21:53

Quiet.

SPEAKER_04 2:21:54

Nothing.

SPEAKER_09 2:21:54

Nothing from Tom.

SPEAKER_07 2:21:55

I can't see the problem is I can't see it from back here. I'm gonna look at it close.

SPEAKER_04 2:21:59

Innocenti Vega Cometa.

SPEAKER_07 2:22:01

Yeah, there's there's a uh Louie around the corner for 22, and I actually really want to buy it.

SPEAKER_04 2:22:06

Yeah. Vega Cometa. Let me see. And it's it it is a that's not a cometa.

SPEAKER_07 2:22:14

Isn't it uh No, it's Louis or uh No, it's a Vega. Vega or Louis. Not the Cometa. You're talking about the cartoon that we're looking at up there. Pull it up. Not the Cometa. It's not the Cometa. Why is it not a Cometa? Because the Cometa is not the Louis or the Vega.

SPEAKER_04 2:22:31

Why is it not this yellow bike, Tom?

SPEAKER_07 2:22:33

That's the Vega, no.

SPEAKER_04 2:22:35

That is the Louis 75. This is the Vega Cometa, the orange one.

SPEAKER_07 2:22:39

No, not Cometa. It is. Not Cometa. I've had two of them, Tom. Tell me about something.

SPEAKER_04 2:22:45

Tell me something about a bike I haven't.

SPEAKER_07 2:22:47

The Cometa's a different bike. It's the Louis or the Vega, but it's not the Cometa. The Cometa's got weird square ball team.

SPEAKER_04 2:22:54

It's okay.

SPEAKER_07 2:22:56

It's alright. No, there's actually.

SPEAKER_04 2:23:03

I had a yellow one and an orange one, and they were both comedis. Tell me again about the bike I didn't own.

SPEAKER_07 2:23:08

Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_04 2:23:10

Tell me again about the bike that I didn't own. It's always that is literally in the picture that's on the screen right now.

SPEAKER_07 2:23:15

Yeah, the the comet.

SPEAKER_04 2:23:17

There it is.

SPEAKER_07 2:23:17

The comet is the J50 of the J50.

SPEAKER_04 2:23:19

No, it's a 75S.

SPEAKER_07 2:23:21

That's fair.

SPEAKER_04 2:23:22

Thank you. I was right. I'm still right. You're right. It's shocking. I will admit being right. And it has the horizontal slots on the handlebars. Two.

SPEAKER_07 2:23:31

What?

SPEAKER_04 2:23:32

What are you doing?

SPEAKER_07 2:23:35

So now I'm having my headphones unplugged because of all that bullshit you had through.

SPEAKER_04 2:23:41

So now we now when we look at this picture, then we understand that this picture with the horizontal holes in the handlebars, the horizontal holes in the handlebars are the same horizontal holes in the handlebars on the Luna Vega cometa.

SPEAKER_07 2:23:53

I always had the difference. I always had the cometa is the J125.

SPEAKER_04 2:23:58

Ah no, the J125 is the Star Stream.

SPEAKER_07 2:24:01

You're right. 100%. I am wrong. I am wrong.

SPEAKER_09 2:24:09

I am wrong. 226, we're gonna cut that note. I guess that's the end of the weekends forever. We don't have the game. We've just made time that he was wrong.

SPEAKER_07 2:24:24

I'm wrong. I will admit when I'm wrong.

SPEAKER_04 2:24:27

Well, that was, I mean, that was that was infinitesimal dick measuring going on. Yeah. That's that's that's train spotting of the highest order.

SPEAKER_07 2:24:34

I was gonna say, we are Sherpa perfectly.

SPEAKER_04 2:24:36

But I have owned, I have owned an orange one and a yellow one.

SPEAKER_07 2:24:39

Well, there's a green one around the corner for 22, and I'm like, I really want, I really want it. They're terrible bikes.

SPEAKER_04 2:24:45

You don't want it. They are and every time you kickstart it, you kick the fucking air filter off the fucking carburetor. So that they're not designed exactly well. But it looks fucking awesome with Batgirl on it. Right. Batwoman on it. That's some fucking some shit right there. Yeah. I never thought I would ever put I never thought I'd put Batwoman on a 75cc Italian fucking masterpiece. Uh but there she is in all of her splendid glory. All right, anybody else got anything else? It's been solid two and a half hours. Hey Smith, you need a joke. Ah Sarah, Sarah, do you have a joke you can tell? No, you're prepared. Does do you just have a joke standing by? Yeah, it ain't easy telling dad jokes, is it?

SPEAKER_09 2:25:21

Yeah, yeah. Where's your millennial joke?

SPEAKER_01 2:25:24

Guys, I don't I'm not that spontaneously funny.

SPEAKER_09 2:25:28

Well, that was kind of funny.

SPEAKER_04 2:25:29

Why do the French eat snails?

SPEAKER_01 2:25:31

Why?

SPEAKER_04 2:25:31

Because they don't like fast food. Yay.

SPEAKER_01 2:25:34

You asked my mom, she's got a lot of dad jokes.

SPEAKER_09 2:25:38

Hey, there was a snail that was trying to run from another snail and he painted an ass, and hey, look at that. Look at that ass cargo. I'm sorry. That's pretty fucking bad. John, before we go.

SPEAKER_05 2:25:49

Did I tell you I have a Polish friend who's a sound man? Oh no. I have a Czech one, too.

SPEAKER_06 2:25:54

Czech one, too. I launched that one a while ago.

SPEAKER_07 2:25:57

Hey, hey John. Yeah. Before we check off. Check off. Did you land did you land the Cup Cadets yet?

SPEAKER_06 2:26:06

No, I I didn't get any response back from an inquiry on those.

SPEAKER_07 2:26:12

The racing league. Oh man.

SPEAKER_03 2:26:14

Sorry.

SPEAKER_06 2:26:14

Anyway.

SPEAKER_03 2:26:15

For 150 bucks, that was like we didn't even talk about the fact that I traded a trail 125 for 390s.

SPEAKER_07 2:26:22

Oh, we forgot about that.

SPEAKER_08 2:26:24

Steel of the day.

SPEAKER_04 2:26:26

Oh god. In one of the worst, well, I don't know. It's a very strange trade, but to go from 125 CCs, which is funny too, is I learned that they're both they were both 2022s.

SPEAKER_07 2:26:37

You doubled down.

SPEAKER_06 2:26:38

So they were both 2022s. I wanted to hate the trade because I like Hondas. Right, I get it. When I really stood back and looked at it, I'm like, no, you're doing right.

SPEAKER_04 2:26:45

I feel like I did okay. I feel like I did all right. Uh, just so people can see at home real quick, just because we're gonna be talking about it this week. I traded a 2022 um uh KTM RC390 uh showed up at my place, and I had to give up a Hunter Cub, a uh Honda Trail 125, uh with 110 miles on it. And and you know, it had a little luggage rack in the front. I put a top case on the back of it. That bike only has 1100 miles on it. This bike has 1100 miles on it, that's correct. Uh yeah, KTM RC390.

SPEAKER_07 2:27:18

You still have the TW200, sorry.

SPEAKER_04 2:27:20

I do still have a TW200, but it's just it was weird. Everybody that came into my shop that looked at the trail 125 was like, oh yeah, I like one of those, those are great. Uh oh, well, that turns out while we were talking, I just bought one for $2,500. And I was like, what the fuck? Like, how come everybody that talks to me about this trail 125 within 48 hours owns one for $2,500? And I'm like, I don't want to sell this bike for $2,500. I want to sell this bike for a lot more than that. I paid less than that, but I want to sell it for more than that because it's got 110 miles on it. And far called to death. This one's not so bad. The that first one I had was super farkled. This isn't that this one just had a non-fango removable, like a G V box on the back. Okay, and it had a luggage, a little six-pack rack on the front. Nice, and it had the the normal Honda style engine guards. Okay. Like very normal engine guards. But I couldn't sell it for like anything close. And every offer I got was $2,500.

unknown 2:28:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 2:28:18

Everybody was like, I'll give you $2,500 for it right now. And I can't blame them because I went on Facebook Marketplace and every trail 125, and it was getting to be that this one being a 22 was getting to be four years old and kind of old. Whereas people were selling 2024s for 2,500 bucks in different colors. And I was like, I'm gonna die with this fucking thing. And then this guy called up and said, like, hey man, your your chocolate's in my peanut butter. Uh I want to train my wife how to ride dirty dirt. I put this bike on the racetrack a couple three times. Super nice guy, too. He's a podcast listener. He's he got a really nice trail one, the nicest trail one ten. You got the nicest trail 110 you can get. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Aside from buying a brand new one, right? And uh at a massive discount. And he got rid of the KTM track bike that he wasn't using on the track. So good for everybody, I think. I think it was good all around. And if somebody needs a KTM RC390 and they want to start doing what Sleepy does doing track days, but he didn't this is the perfect thing.

SPEAKER_09 2:29:18

But he just he did track stuff to it, but he didn't unstreet it. That's right. So you can actually still ride it and just like and like you said, buy that front thing for it, slap it on, and go race the track.

SPEAKER_04 2:29:27

Yeah, and he did the nuthugger, he did the you know, the tipsy turtle ball stopper.

SPEAKER_09 2:29:32

I can't believe the brakes on that thing. That thing stops like a fucking stuff. I was like, okay, it's got one caliper on the front, but it's also a small bike, it's probably gonna be okay. And I I wailed on the front brakes and was almost about to like fucking. I got the back tire off, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:29:45

I got the back tire off the air off the ground quite easily. And he did the right stuff. He put engine guards on it, he put uh sliders on the the front axles, he put sliders on the back. He did a good job. The stuff he put on it is all very logical. It's got it's got middle. I'm sorry, it's got Nelson's led, it's got Nelson's ledges cred, it's got pit race RIP, it's got pit race cred. So it's a good bike. I mean, overall, I'm very happy with it for 1100 miles.

SPEAKER_09 2:30:13

I think it would take a lot of the nerve-wrackingness of like not wondering if you're gonna murder yourself that day.

SPEAKER_04 2:30:18

Like could you imagine going out on a racetrack on a motorcycle that really, really, really won't kill you unless you super duper fuck up?

SPEAKER_09 2:30:26

Right.

SPEAKER_04 2:30:26

Like you have to run it into the fucking hay bill.

SPEAKER_09 2:30:28

Or worse, or like yeah, you're not gonna low side and just die. Yeah. Well, I mean, anything's possible.

SPEAKER_04 2:30:34

Speaking of low side, speaking of Haybell, did you see that Andrea and Paul had the sidecar? They had a close encounter with the airwall at uh Blackhawk. So our our our sponsored sidecar team, Paul and Andrea, at Gearhead Racing. Uh, I guess it was throttle stuck wide open by the sound of it, by the video.

SPEAKER_09 2:30:51

Because like if you see the skid marks, it obviously had brakes, so it either pushed obviously it had brakes.

SPEAKER_04 2:30:57

Yeah, by the 11ses, there were straight up 11s on the racetrack.

SPEAKER_09 2:31:02

Like 60 mile or 60 feet long 11s straight into the airwall.

SPEAKER_04 2:31:06

And you could you could see, you could hear the audio in the in the clip. Yeah, the bike is still chatting at seven or eight thousand rpm. And it's and it's like, I'm gonna eat this air wall. And it did. Yeah, it did. And so somehow the air wall did what the airwalls are supposed to do. It took all that energy of a whole sidecar rig and two humans, it absorbed it, and it spit Andrew out. Paul didn't he didn't spit it in spit Paul out. He was kind of wrapped up with the bike a little bit.

SPEAKER_09 2:31:33

Yeah, a little bit. He said that the impact, um, uh the airwall actually fused to his his shield. Like really with enough force that it like he said.

SPEAKER_04 2:31:42

That it like bonded. Yeah. Wow.

SPEAKER_09 2:31:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:31:45

Oh, that's wild.

SPEAKER_09 2:31:46

Yeah, yeah. But he's alright. He said maybe a slight concussion, which undoubtedly, but he can't tell that from normal.

SPEAKER_04 2:31:54

Kind of the normal operating system.

SPEAKER_09 2:31:56

We have we operate on the same, I think a lot. So that's fine. He's a good dude.

SPEAKER_04 2:32:01

He's a very good dude. Yeah. I Paul and Andrea, much love for you guys, and I I hope you can get your shit back together because you'll be fine. But yeah, it's it's clearly he sounded it sounded like it wasn't the first time he'd had a throttle hang up.

SPEAKER_09 2:32:14

So yeah, because the guys were saying if you hadn't checked your throttle tube in a while, the frame can sometimes you know dig into the side and then you're fucked.

SPEAKER_07 2:32:21

So what you're saying is fuck carbs.

SPEAKER_04 2:32:23

Well, yeah, first of all, fucking no shit. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. First, my first priority ever about any motorcycle I'm gonna be taking anywhere is gonna be how many carbs does it have? Is the answer zero? We're gonna have a good day.

SPEAKER_09 2:32:35

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 2:32:35

Yep, absolutely. So that's it. That's all we got. I hope you guys enjoyed the podcast. We're very happy to have Sarah here. Thanks for coming. Play us out of here, Johnny. Ride fast and take chances. Hey, go bossanova. Hit the red button, get us out of here sleeping. Jesus. That was a painful owl. I can still taste it in my mouth.

SPEAKER_02 2:33:12

Yes, exactly. I don't even know what that means.