The Pressure to Be Great

Ever feel like your life doesn't measure up? Like someway, somehow you missed out on being great? Which only leaves you frustrated with what to do next... or what you're actually 'supposed' to do with your life.

I've been there, and still find myself there from time to time. In today's conversation, I share vulnerably about my journey and experience in this area.

My prayer and hope is that you walk away feeling seen and encouraged.


www.mrsannamcguire.com

Transcript

Hey friends, welcome back to another episode of The sowhat podcast. My name is Anna McGuire. And I'm so excited to have a conversation with you today about sowing intentionally into our lives so that we can reap abundantly in the days, weeks, months and even years to come. at a really young age, I got into reading autobiographies. I loved reading about historical figures, that did amazing things when it came to ingenuity and discovery, and really making a difference. I can vividly remember I spent a lot of time at the library when I was younger, I was homeschooled. And so we would make like a weekly trip out of it. And I remember vividly one time going to the library. And finding like a children's book I had to have been early elementary school on Amelia Earhart. And I remember I became like obsessed with learning about Amelia Earhart, her being this amazing pilot and all of this stuff. And I began to read these books about her. And I remember thinking, I want to be like Amelia Earhart, and not the part where I flew somewhere, and then was never to be heard from again. But like making history doing something big and great. And then so I read about Amelia Earhart, I remember vividly reading a book about John F. Kennedy. And I remember reading a book about Ronald Reagan. And I remember reading a book about Mother Teresa, and seriously vivid moments that I have, like, ingrained in my memory, of sitting down and reading about these difference makers, these people who have made an impact on history, and society. And I remember thinking, from the time I was a little girl, I want to make a difference. My church they had this big ministry kind of graduation, we call it an honor stars. So if you're like a in girls ministries in in third, fourth and fifth grade, they had something called stars. And in fifth grade, if you completed the whole program, you had this like graduation, which we call it a crowning ceremony. It's like Girl Scouts but for church anyways, I remember we got to fill out this survey of all the things that we wanted to be when we grew up and things we were passionate about. And the people over the microphone, like when you're walking down to be crowned like read this like bio about you. So here I am in fifth grade, and the surveys asking me what do I want to be when I grow up? And I remember, like sweating bullets internally, thinking, Oh, my goodness, I have to pick one thing. And so I started thinking about all of the people that I admired, and I had been reading about. And I wrote down a lawyer, because I knew that lawyers made a difference. And lawyers did big things in society. And so I was like, I want to be a lawyer. And then I was like, wait, I also want to be a counselor. And I also like and I just I could not decide. And remember one of my friends is like why don't you put down a nurse and I knew for sure No, I do not want to be a nurse that never crossed my mind. The medical field never once crossed my mind. Anyway, so I remember I put down lawyer and counselor and I and so it's kind of funny. Now here I am. 29. Yeah, 29 years old. And it's funny when you get older, you kind of forget your age anyways, 29 years old, and I am a counselor anyway, so that's pretty cool. Anyways, I remember feeling this pressure even in fifth grade, because I've been reading about all of these incredible weak people that I wanted to do something great and something big and something to be proud of. And that fifth grade, Anna grew into being an eighth grade Anna, who grew to be a freshman in high school, a sophomore, junior senior, my freshman and sophomore year of high school, I took a really big interest in politics. And I thought for sure, I wanted to end up in the political world. My dream was to work in legislation to be a senator. And so when I was in high school, I actually volunteered and did some work with a local and state campaign in the state of Wisconsin because I was like, if I want to do this, when I grew up, I'm going to get some like experience in with it right now. And so anyways, I did some of that. And I remember feeling again, in those moments, this pressure to be someone big to be someone great. And then you know, as you become a junior and senior in high school, you're starting to ask the question, what are you going to go to school
for? What are you going to be and what are you going to do? And it's like this pressure seemed to mount all the more that I wanted to do something great. I'm going to give like a side note here is that I am an Enneagram. Three. And so maybe not all of this has resonated with you like I've never thought about this, but I'm going to tell you this is something I've literally thought about since I was in early elementary schools doing something big and historical, and memorable. And so yes, get to high Get through high school I get to college still kind of have that same track is like I want to do something big. I want to make history, I want to change the course of someone or somebodies life as a result of something that I chose to do with my life, I want to do something big. So I get through college, I did some really exciting things in college. And I was like, Oh my gosh, this is what it's like, like to make history like this is exciting. And then comes like normal adulthood, where, you know, serving in a regular job. I worked at a church and the youth department. I was getting my master's degree in counseling, and all of these things and life became pretty mundane. But still, it was like this nagging voice in the back of my mind, like, you know, be something great, do something great. And I think this nagging voice was developed in a couple different ways. I think the first way it was developed was my knee, like I admired people who had done great things and big things for the world. And so I put that pressure on myself. But then I think, well, meaning maybe individuals also put that pressure on me. And then just the social media world, like you get to see the people who are studying social justice are starting and social justice movements, and they're starting nonprofits, and they're doing incredible things to make a difference. And so there's voice of do and be great. I'll never forget when things began to shift with that nagging voice, it was March of 2019. So just about three years ago, my husband Andrew and I, we were getting lunch with our now pastor, his name is Jason. At the time, he wasn't our pastor, he we've been friends with him for ever. Before we were ever Why should say forever, but like Andrew has been friends with him for like, I don't know, 15 years, something like that. And then when I started dating Andrew, I met Jason, soon after anyways, we were getting lunch with him one day. And Jason asked me, you know, what do you want to do with your life? And I just said, right then in there, here it is. March of 2019. Like, I want to do something big. And he's like, Okay, what does that mean? And I uttered words that I had never thought of before until I said it. In that moment. I said to him, My greatest fear is to die. And nobody remembers me. My greatest fear is to die. And nobody remembers me. And Jason's like, Oh, of course, like people are gonna remember you, Anna, you made an impact. You love people. I was like, no, like, I want to live a life in this. These are my words like Martin Luther King, Jr. I want to make an impact on society. I want to write history in some way. And he just kind of smiled. And if you know, Jason, you know, the smile. And he's just like, Okay, wow, that's really big. That that's a lot to put on yourself. And so I began to really process that. Honestly, like, you know, you ever have like a conversation, you say something, and then you're like, walking away, and you're like, I think I need to, like grapple with what it is I just said. And that was one of those moments for me. I needed to grapple with the words I had just uttered. So I took some time, I sat down, and I began to think through, oh, my goodness, no, do I really feel that way? That if I don't live a life like to that amount of greatness, then my life didn't measure all out to be something special, or divine. If you can't tell, I'm really sharing from the heart today.
March of 2019, really started a time in my life where I began to reflect on what is the purpose and the meaning and the value of my life. So I really did some introspective work, talking with mentors, counselor, hearing from people like him, you know, in the midst of all that Andrew and I, we found out that we were pregnant with our son, we transitioned our ministry roles. We then soon after, we moved from one part of Indianapolis to another zoning, there was just like a whole lot of change, which, with change comes introspection in and of itself anyways. So it was like there's a huge season of introspection. And I began to ask the Lord, Lord, what does greatness look like to you? I don't want to put this pressure to be great on myself and it doesn't honor you or please you in any kind of way. And I wish I could say that the little gave me an answer, like immediately right then in there. But he didn't. It was through a process that he began to bring healing and correction, to my heart and to my vision. It was like any time I began to admire somebody who had done something great in society or in the world, it was like the Lord would whisper to me in those moments and say, Anna, what did they set out to do? So one of those people were was Mother Teresa that I was reflecting on. And I was thinking about it my did she set out to be great, no, she set out to love the least of these. She set out to live intentionally in poverty, to be with those who were hurting and sick, and devastated in many areas of their lives. Another person that I began to reflect on was, of course, I, one of the heroes that I look up to Martin Luther King, Jr, I began to look at what it did he set out to be great, no, he set out to bring about truth and righteousness. He set out to make sure the world knew the darkness that we were choosing to live in and abide in, by operating in racism and prejudice. His goal wasn't to be great. His goal was to bring about truth and justice. And as a result, he rewrote history, obviously, and I hope we never ever, ever, ever forget him, and that his name has passed on for generations and generations and generations and generations and generations and generations to come. But the Lord just began to rewire my thinking, as I was reading scripture, like the the heroes of Scripture, the years of Scripture, they weren't like, they had no idea like the Bible was being written in their real time. Now, instead, their focus was to abide in God, and to serve others around them, to abide in God and to serve others around them, and to follow God's commands and lean into and live in God's will for their life. So thank God, he has begun to transform over the last three ish years, my perspective of what being great is, and really, the big piece that's come out of it is that I don't have to worry about if a book or like a podcast, or I don't even know like some, like made for TV movie is going to come out of it. But what true greatnesses is abiding in him, and living in his will by following the commands that he's given for me, which is love him, and love people. And can I tell you, the freedom, this revelation has been in my life and how much God has redeemed, that pressure that I once had, into now really focusing on God? How do I love you? And how do I love people? Well, how does my heart God reflect your heart? John 15 is one of my favorite passages of Scripture. And it's Jesus talking in John chapter 15. And he's talking to his followers in this moment, and he says to them, I am the vine, and you are the branches. And if you are apart from me, you're just like a dead piece of wood, you can't do anything. God has begun to transform that really, greatness and purpose for my life comes from not what I do, but it comes from this place of abiding in him and following his will for my life. And the outcomes that follow it are completely up to him.
So that pressure to quote unquote, be great, has begun to live. Sometimes I place that pressure on myself again, and sometimes I'll I'll get my mind clouded where I'm, again, feeling like no, you got to be great. You got to do great things. But there is this reworking this rewiring, that's happening in me that true greatness is abiding in God, and following his will for my life, which is loving God and loving people, loving God and loving people having a relationship with God. And I would say having a relationship with people serving people. And can I just say, again, the freedom that has come with this, the confidence that has come with this? Because for many years, like I would I wish I didn't have to say that. But that's the reality of for many years, there was this pressure of is this enough? Is this good enough? Am I amounting to the greatness that I want to be and doing things Matter and all of it, in which, you know, it's good to dream big and to do big Trust me, I am a dreamer, I hope you know that about me or that I've been able to share that with you in a clear way that I am a dreamer, you got an idea, I will help you run a million miles with it. But that now flows out of a place of competence, not out of a place of insecurity. I wasn't planning on saying that, but I'm going to say it again. The Dreamer part of me, the big believer, part of me, now flows out of a place of confidence, instead of a place of insecurity. And this is only happening. Because the Lord has been shifting my heart shifting my vision to see that what greatness really is for my life is loving him and loving people, loving him and loving people. Maybe you're in a spot today, where you're feeling an insane amount of pressure, to be great, to do great things to get the applause of people to get the attention of somebody in the upper echelons of society or your field of work. Can I encourage you that first of all, I feel that with you like I've been there, and I can find myself there still. But you weren't created to put that kind of pressure on yourself or to live under that kind of pressure, day in and day out. However, however, there is a father, there is a God who has greatness for you, that is just loving him and loving people. And as you love him and you love people, that is great. That is enough, you don't have to rewrite some major law, you don't have to create some kind of amazing I don't know mega store brand to do something that is considered great by God and great by people. But just loving God and loving people. And here's the cool thing is you can still create a mega store brand, or you can still get that amazing job promotion. But instead of it flowing from a place of insecurity of trying to prove something, Hello, I've been there, I'm preaching to myself right here. It's coming from a place of confidence of you know what, whether or not this succeeds or fails, my identity is not found in this because greatness, the greatness of my life flows from having a relationship with God loving God, and serving the people around me that he has entrusted me to care for, and influence and serve. Friend, wherever you may be today, I want to remind you that I am in your corner, and I'm cheering you on. And I'm holding space for you in my heart if you're sensing this pressure to be great. And can I let you know that before I recorded this, even after I get done, I'm praying for you specifically, I'm praying for you that you have a shift in your heart and in your mind that greatness is loving God and loving people. And everything after that is a bonus is an incredible gift. It's a bonus. But that isn't what makes you great. I'm in process with you. I'm journeying with you on this. So I hope you feel that. And I hope you know that you're not in it alone. You're not in this alone. Friend again. I'm always always always in your corner. And I'm cheering you on, as you choose to sell intentionally by allowing the Lord to do the work of shifting your heart in your mind of what greatness truly is, which is loving him and loving people. And as you sow intentionally, you will reap abundantly. You will feel confidence and clarity like never before. I love you friend and I can't wait to talk to you next week.