Why Silence Isn’t Easy & Why We Need It

Is it just me or does the world feel extra noisy these days? What I'd give for some peace and silence.

The CRAZY thing is that when I silence arises, I tend to shy away from it. I'd rather be distracted with tasks or entertainment than lean in quiet moments.

Our conversations today is all about the silence:  why we need it, the benefits, and how to practice it!

EPISODE on SELF CHECK-INS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sow-what-with-anna-mcguire/id1527068301?i=1000512621061

Transcript

Hey friends, welcome back to another episode of The sowhat podcast. My name is Anna McGuire. And I'm so excited to have a conversation with you today about sowing intentionally into our lives so that we can reap abundantly in the days, weeks, months, and even years to come. Have you ever had something in your life that you know would be good for you, but you avoid it at all costs. For me, it can be sometimes going to the dentist, I really do not enjoy going to the dentist when I was a kid and I would hear adults saying they didn't like to go to the dentist. I didn't understand why. Because I loved going to the dentist growing up. But as I have gotten older and thanks to pregnancy, which maybe you know this maybe you don't sometimes when you get pregnant your teeth can get like really weird. It's like this like hormonal thing and this thing with your gums anyways, I just don't enjoy going to the dentist now as a result of some things I experienced during pregnancy. But even really before that, I started to not enjoy it. But I know that going to the dentist is good for me that it is beneficial for me that future Anna will think present Anna, for going to the dentist. There are other things like that in our life, whether it's nutrition or having a hard conversation with somebody that we love. There are things that can be harder, unenjoyable in the moment, but there is a benefit to them later. One of those things that I have found, that I can so easily avoid and stay away from at all costs, because it's challenging, and sometimes just straight up not enjoyable, is silence. Silence. Silence can be so frustrating, and so not fun. However, I am learning just how important and beneficial science silence Yeah, science do. But silence is for me. In a world that is loud in a world that is noisy, a world that is going 24 hours a day, 365 days a year finding and creating the space for silence as a true gift. You know, I think it's really interesting for our parents or depending on how old you are maybe in your childhood. But for my mom and dad, the TV ended, like the TV stations shut down. At a certain time it was like they had the nightly news. And then the screens went black. Isn't that crazy to think of? Well, then, you know, in my whole childhood, there was something on TV 24 hours a day, maybe from 2am to 4am. It was like infomercials, but there was still something 24 hours a day on television. And now we have a personalized television in our hands. Really it's a phone, there's social media never shuts down. YouTube never shuts down, tick tock Pinterest, whatever it may be, it never shuts down. We have access to noise to information 24 hours a day. And we have information like news 24 hours a day again, like for our parents, or for whatever, maybe even my childhood, you'd get news by watching the news or getting the new newspaper the next day. Like we have access to non stop news, we have access to non stop talking nonstop noise. And then you add on top of that. You don't need to go to the store to go buy a new CD, or to get a cassette tape or whatever it may be. You have Spotify, you have Apple Music, you have YouTube music, you have access to music, you have access to noise, none stop. It is a loud world. And when we get to this point in our year, sometimes it can feel even louder than ever before.
And the challenges is that when we do have moments for silence, a lot of us move away from it because we're so used to noise and we're so used to things being loud that when we do have the opportunity for silence, we don't know what to do with it. And when I say we don't know what to do with it, I don't know what to do with it. Just this last week, some plans changed at the last moment for me. And I was presented with about two hours of free time. And I literally was there almost like when I say it changed last minute. I mean like changed as I was already in pursuit of those plans. I felt like a deer in the headlights. I was like what am I going to do with these two hours that I don't have anything planned? And I felt in my heart and in my spirit that okay, you need to do nothing. You need to be silent and get quiet. And I was like no, I think I need to go to Target or maybe I need to go get a drink at the drive thru like, I need to do something. Silence is not something that I just naturally want to move towards it is hard to be silent, it is hard to want to experience it. But what did I do? I did take some of that time, not the whole time, I didn't take home full two hours. But I did take some time to just be quiet, to be silent. And can I tell you after those few moments of silence, I walked away so energized, and so clear minded, that the rest of my afternoon and into the evening. Oh, my goodness, they were different. Because I had taken the time to be silent. And again, I'm just going to give this breakfast, I did not want to do that. I wanted to go to target, I wanted to go into Starbucks and get a tea like I wanted to do something I wanted to make use of my time I wanted to be productive, so to speak. But silence is productivity, like it is productive in our lives. I've done some research about what science does, and from what I've experienced in my own life. And what I've gotten to walk with other people through learning silence is silence offers some incredible benefits. It offers things to us that we can't get anywhere else truly silent, silence is good for us, it is good for our minds, it is good for our physical bodies, and it is good for our spirits, our souls. Silence, again, this is through research and experience that I have found that silence helps to create patience in our life. You know, in the culture that we live in,
pedal to the metal is kind of the routine pace. And so we don't have a lot of patience for people who sit at the red light, or that another red light, the green light, like when the light flips from red to green, we don't have a bunch more than like a two second patient window for them before we beat or we don't have a whole lot of patience for when our food takes a long time at the restaurant or we don't have a whole lot of patience, when the Internet is running slow. When we get silent, like silent. We sit there and quiet. It creates a greater ability to be patient. Because we're not rushing, we're not pushing ourselves, we're not rushing or pushing the people around us. Instead, we are slowing down. And we're being okay with the slowness. Silence creates patience. On top of that, having intentional times of silence, lowers stress and anxiety. Psychology Today published this incredible article about the correlation between silence and lowering the stress and anxiety and racing thoughts. And it was showing that in this research that people who take the time to intentionally be quiet and to silence the things around them, that their thoughts, they're those racing thoughts, those anxious thoughts are reduced, not just in the later part of the day. But immediately there is an immediate sense of relief from anxiety by just getting quiet and being silent. The other thing that silence offers is an awareness. Awareness of how you are emotionally, physically and spiritually doing, it gives you an opportunity to reflect and really check on how you are. I did an episode which I'll link in the show notes A while ago about doing self check ins. And silence is a key piece of having a really good check in a really good reflection with yourself. I have the honor of meeting with individuals on a weekly basis checking in with them loving on them, encouraging them. And one of the questions I ask is How are you feeling today? Or how are you really doing? And the individual is usually taken back for a moment because with those kinds of questions, the answer can't be good. Like it can't just be like I'm good. Like it's not that the answer can't be good. They can say they're doing great and all these things. But it's just those kinds of questions elicit more of a reflection. And the reason I asked those questions is because I want that individual to reflect on how they're truly doing how they're truly feeling. What are they processing? What are they experiencing? What are the things they're dreaming about or hoping for or maybe disappointed by in this season? and those kind of reflective moments of really knowing how we're doing comes out of being silent, having time to really choose awareness and reflection for us. So in addition to the creating the patients, the lowering the stress and anxiety, having awareness and reflection, another element that silence gives us it gives you focus and concentration. You know, we have learned to operate in a world where there is so many distractions that like when we're working on a paper or a work project, our phone is going off, or we got earbuds listening to music, or we are always around noise until we've learned how to concentrate. And we've learned how to do work in the midst of the noise. But there's also research that has been put out there that even 15 minutes of silence throughout the day, that it can create a greater sense of focus and concentration with our focus throughout the rest of our day. So as silence can sometimes see like is not very productive, it is actually helping us be more productive later on. Silence is good for us, it can be something that we so easily avoid which
again, I say we because it's very much so includes me we avoid silence, we want to stay away from it, because it can be uncomfortable. But it is so good for us. When we have a saying okay, you know, like I'm, I'm willing to try to get silent, then one, create a space, a quiet space where you can get alone, where there are no distractions. For me, I like to take my phone, I like to put it on the focus, Do Not Disturb mode. And I like to put it in a top drawer of my, my side table, my nightstand and then there's a chair in my room that I like to sit on, and just be quiet. And one thing that I tell people that I'm working with is it's okay to get bored. Like let your mind get bored, where you're like you're not thinking of anything. In particular, like you can just let your mind go like you don't have to, there's not like a to do list in this moment. Like sit still get your notebook, get your pen like think through a million, you don't have to do that. Just be silent. And allow your mind to process and your body to rest. And one thing that you can do that can be an add on I wouldn't say start here. But you can use a journal and a pen in these moments. If as you're being silent thoughts come to your mind or realizations come up and you want to hold on to them write it down real quick. But creating the silence. And this is what I encourage individuals to do for silence is create five minutes if you can create five minutes every other day to be silent. That is huge. Five minutes. And you're like I don't want to keep looking at the clock. You put a timer on your phone and put the phone on the other side of the room. And you can sit there for five minutes and be silent every other day. Silence is good for us. It is good for our brain, it is good for our emotions, just good for our bodies, it is good for our spirits, it is good for us to slow down and to move away from the fast pace and the noise of our world. Silence truly is golden silence truly is a gift. Now if you're like me, and life is pretty full. And maybe you have a kid or two. In my case, I have a child and he is on the brink of turning to and so he is everywhere and getting into everything. So I choose intentionally to do my silent times when he's sleeping. So for me, I most like to do before bed that I like to reflect on my day. I like to think through my day. Guess what I do like my gratitude journaling. I like my silence then. So figure out look at your day, okay, when can I like block off five minute, five minutes to be quiet. And then once you kind of get into the rhythm or routine of having five minutes every other day to be silent. Try every day, five minutes, or keep it every other day move it to seven minutes or 10 minutes. The point being just find time for silence. And man if you can grow that to being larger and bigger that that's awesome. That's great. But really 10 to 15 minutes of silence daily or every other day is a game changer. Don't avoid the thing that is good for you. You know, I noticed too, that it's can be the thing that we want to avoid when we're hurting or when we're disappointed or struggling in some kind of way we want to stay away from silence because we're afraid of what the silence will reveal. Can I tell you that it is in the silence that we most find healing like intentional, healthy silence, that we can find healing, that we can process what it is that we're feeling, and not avoided or StuffIt. To deal with or process on another day. Friend, silence is a true gift. In the world that we live in silence isn't something that just happens it is something we have to intentionally choose to sow into. But I 100% believe that as we set aside the time intentionally to be silent, we will reap abundantly in the areas of lowering our stress and anxiety having greater patients having greater sense of awareness and reflection for ourselves, and really having greater clarity and focus for the rest of our tasks. In that day.
I am in your corner and I am cheering you on as you lean into this practice as we finish out this year as we head into a new year. May this be a commitment and something that you add into the rhythm of your life and the rhythm of your day, seeking out and owning moments of silence. Friend, I'm always in your corner. Always. And I'm cheering you on, and I can't wait to talk to you next week.