Strive Seek Find

Let's Talk about Bruno

June 20, 2022 Chance Whitmore Season 2 Episode 53
Strive Seek Find
Let's Talk about Bruno
Show Notes Transcript

Today we are discussion  avoiding hard conversations both personally and professionally and the impact they can have on our life.   



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Are we still not talking about Bruno? And if so, does it have something to do with him being involved in Fight Club? Just wondering. Welcome to the strife seek find podcast. I'm your host chance Whitmore. Thank you for tuning in. I'm grateful for each and every one of you. This is my final episode of my second season. I've been at this for two years now, podcast has gone through a metric ton of iterations. At times, it's come easy. At other times, it's been a struggle. And honestly, that's okay. You got to have those struggles in life. As I record today is June 19. Father's Day, it's Father's Day. And I honestly intended to play around with a lot of things that I had learned from my den, a spiritual sequel to what I did back in December, early January. And I wanted it out this morning. And things were not to be like many things I care about in the past year. Things got in the weeds, and the message was lost. So I'm tabling the Father's Day episode until time and distance can give me the perspective I need to do it correctly. Rather than let my own grief steer the message more than it should. It's good lesson. Not necessarily the one I was looking for this week, but apparently what I needed. And as a special snide note to the week, I just jetted into my quote unquote, recording studio, which is currently mainly in use as its primary purpose of guest bedroom. So I'm recording at odd times this week, which brings us today subject, much like Fight Club. And more recently, Bruno. And those of you have actually watched the film will have to tell me why. Because I've skillfully avoided that movie with the girls for the past few months. The fact is, there are many times in life, we actually do avoid conversations for a lot of different reasons. Some of these reasons include discomfort. Nobody likes a hard conversation. Fear, don't want to upset the person you're involved in, or a fear their actual reaction to protect someone else physically or their feelings and trying to find inappropriate time. Obviously, I'm just keeping the list short, because there are hundreds and hundreds of ways and reasons that we can talk ourselves out of hard conversations. And many times, we're not even completely aware of our real reasons why we're avoiding them. Instead, we use the great tool of lying to ourselves and rationalizing things into more convenient or palatable for. There's just not enough time in the day. I'll do it later. I've got to get this done. I'm busy. It will make things worse, and why should I do that. And once again, pick your poison, pick your rationalization. It can even be it's really not that important. It'll get better without me having the conversation. And looking at my reasons and my list of rationalizations, I realized that these tend to work both in our personal and professional spheres. In other words, you can use these interchangeably at home or at work to avoid having a conversation that you need to have, for example, a parent delaying having the talk with their sons and daughters, because they're not comfortable with the subject matter. Or in my case, screaming not at at my wife and running from the room. And never mind the fact that by the point that you're giving the talk, your kids have a ton of knowledge that they have gleaned from really bad sources, and need some really good sources. But please, we all need to wait longer. Or we avoid having a hard conversation with our spouse. Because it makes that precious evening time uncomfortable or worry that they'll be angry with you. It's always better to let our resentment built rather than deal with the subject matter. I apologize. I'm feeling a little sarcastic today. It doesn't help. It obviously hurts us. But you get just a touch of momentary relief by avoiding the subject. Just one personal experience from a long long time ago from a lifetime Far, far away. A personal experience I was in middle school early high school doesn't matter it for the story. And I was disappointed, we'll call it by a coach's decision, and frustrated by it. And the easy thing to do would have just been to step back and be allowed to think that the coach just didn't like me and not deal with it. Allow the resentment to build and make it hard to listen to the coach moving forward. That would have been the easy way. It wouldn't have led to a good result, of course. But my father sat me down and informed me that I would be having the conversation the next day, that he would make sure I got to school on time to do it. And kind of coached me through how to ask the question just a little bit. Because he wasn't going to let me walk that path. Conversation with the coach, I don't really even remember at this point. I know it was skin crawling ly uncomfortable at the start. But by the end, I understood the why he wasn't angry, he wasn't upset. I was less upset when it was over. And I was able to move on. And that's what needed to happen. It was a hard lesson. But it was a critical one to me growing up. Dad didn't rescue me. He didn't pull a bless your little heart. He made me stand up and look myself in the eye and look the coach in the eye and find a way through in order to get better. So today, I'm not stepping forward with a solution to the problem. More of an obvious statement, simply, despite our fear and discomfort, hard conversations need to happen, not only for the growth that comes out of learning how to have these discussions of learning how to reasonably discuss uncomfortable things, and listen to feedback that you might not like. But because of the fear and regret that comes out of not having them. And professionally. These can closed doors. change the course of a career. Because if you don't have the right feedback, or didn't right, ask the right question. You won't grow at the right way. But when you talk about this personally, that's when for me it really hurts when you lose the level and what's left unsaid is some of the most painful things you've had to overcome. The regret that color's your grief impacts you in ways you couldn't have previously imagined. So my friends, while we all do this, on some level, we have a duty to ourselves and those around us to at least try to have these conversations so that we can move forward. So we can lessen regret. Because honestly, I'll take a little discomfort over a lot of guilt where I can because the alternative to me is really having no choice at all, because you missed your opportunity. programming note. This episode marks the end of the second season. I'm planning to take a little bit of a break to rethink some of the things I've been doing with the podcast, and build up as little supply of new content. I'll still be around and there will most likely be an episode or two. But my regularly scheduled episodes will be on hold for a while as I'm considering working on some of the changes I'd like to make. As always, I'm open to ideas, please send them my my way. The email link is in the show notes. Well, my friends. That's it for season two of strife seek find. If you'd like to support the show, please suggest the show to your friends, or leave a review on your favorite podcasting app. If you'd rather show financial support, I'd never turn it down a donation on buy me a coffee, all of which goes to purchasing materials to keep the podcast moving forward. Again, thanks for listening. I appreciate you all. Until next time, keep seeking your own brilliant future. See you soon with Season Three