Strive Seek Find

Becoming Their Own People

October 18, 2021 Chance Whitmore Season 2 Episode 18
Strive Seek Find
Becoming Their Own People
Show Notes Transcript

Parenting  at the best of times is a dubious adventure wrapped up in stress excitement,  guilt,  and ,  a large  helping of “What the hell are they thinking?   I’m sure that’s not ever going to change 

As kids grow up  one of our jobs  is to know when its time to back off and let go…. And when it is time to keep the  framework so they have structure.   

Along with some judgemental statements about some podcast styles  and Worth Mentioning!

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In life, we have two choices, to experience or to exist. Every week, each of us makes that choice. to either seek a better way to live or to get by. walk alongside me each week on the strive seek find podcast as we continue to seek our own brilliant future. I will say watching people learn to advocate for their own needs is truly impressive. Welcome to the strive seek fame podcast, I'm your host chance Whitmore. Parenting at the best of times, is a dubious adventure wrapped up in stress, excitement, guilt, and a large helping of what the hell are they thinking. And I'm sure that's not ever going to change. As kids grow up one of our jobs is to know when it's time to back off and let go. And when it's time to keep the framework in place, so they have needed structure. Knowing when to do each of these is hard. And in the case of a middle school, it gets harder. Now let's get started. Case in point today, in our house, we are requiring our girls be involved in activities. They usually want to, but it's a good thing. It makes sure that they are provided with both physical activity and a connection to school when they hit that important middle school time. And for daughter, number one, it's worked so far. Now let's be honest, middle school, at the best of times, is not normal. When you add in that this middle schooler has spent all three years dealing in some way with COVID and other craziness. And it makes it even more nutty for her. Through it all. She's been involved. She's made friends. Even as she changed schools. It's been an important positive in a time where she was wired to want to withdraw. It made the transitions between schools a little less of a struggle, especially once she found her own crew by doing track. And then came this year, eighth grade and the additional season of sports. I'd set the expectation early that there would be a winter sport played. She needs to stay involved. It keeps her active. And she Well, she hemmed and hawed came to me several times hinting she didn't want to do the sport. And I asked her, so what are you going to do that, because you're going to stay busy. This went back and forth for several months. She then went to Amy with some vagueness. And I think they talked it out a little bit before she came back around and attacked the problem in a different way. And this way, gives us a possible glimmer of who she might become. She came at what she viewed as a problem logically explaining her disinterest not in sports as a whole, but in team sports, before hitting her dad right in the face with. If I'm going to do something, I want it to be something that I'm passionate about. And I'm not passionate about this. Now, why this slams me in the face as an old team, sports coach. And as an old athlete, was, all I could see in my head was all of the things that she was going to miss out on. If she didn't do team sports, all of those connections, all of those shared moments, things that had been foundational and helped me build who I am today. So my dad joke, defense mechanism kicks in. And I started to joke a bit jokes about other options, or jokes about still doing basketball. And she paused and looked at me seriously and asked me to please take her seriously in this case. So I sat back and listened as she talked, and then as she patiently waited for an answer, what can I say? I was really proud of her. Still. She did it right. Not how to approach a serious conversation with parent, but how to attack a problem in life, with passion, with logic and with alternatives. And strangely enough, last week, she started the alternatives. Instead of basketball, young lady's doing Kung Fu, which I'm half Sure, was selected as much for the concept of I get to play with swords, as it was with self defense. But anyways, if this is the person she becomes in life, if this is a step down that road, I personally will be well satisfied. And I will say, if only more adults would follow the same mold, the world would be a better place. Next up, I have something that doesn't fit, I'm gonna be honest. So I'm gonna call the special side melt for today. I've learned a ton from podcasting in the last 1618, whatever number of months it's been. And I will say the support of the Twitter podcasting committee, for instance, has made for an amazing place to meet and learn from people. But this story doesn't come from the good side of the tracks. It comes from what I viewed as questionable. So at work, I got invited to interview on a podcast, or rephrase, that's how it initially read to me apply to interview on a podcast. So with curiosity, I went Hmm. And started to look into it. Now, the title in the podcast and the name of the host don't matter at all in this. It does no good to call them out. Personally. It butters no one's bread. I don't care. This is their thing. And my reaction to it. So I go ahead and I log in, there was a sharp website, sharp looking host. And it was a tremendously expensive, nice looking suit, by the way. Very obviously, after looking at it, this was a well written spam email, they'd most obviously grabbed me by finding my email, on my work profile on social media. No problem, you got to generate leads Somehow, I guess. The focus seems to be generic leadership. And there was just enough there to make it worth looking into, until you click in to sign up. Now, initially, there's no upfront cost. If they select you for your story, they won't charge you. But if you want it to be good, and want it to be edited, and you want them to put it out on social media, you got to kick it up a notch. You want that extra splash of having them done on video and look really cool. You get to pay an extra 14 $100 an hour with the host. If you can get that and charge it good on you. And then there were other things like an offer to sign up and be part of one of his books. And I'll be honest, I didn't click all the way in, but it looked like there would be an extra fee attached. Now, take this all together. This is a very different model than the indie podcast crew that I've been feeling so much gratitude toward. And I've heard it's even some of those guys on Twitter talking about charging for interviews, but it's a minority. And those people seem to disappear fairly quickly. What this felt like to me, because the look and the language, words like exposure, and tell your story are out there. First and foremost, well in front of the, by the way, you too can pay us 14 $100. I'm operating with the idea that this was all done with the best of intent. For me, at least the problem is, is this business model seems to be based on taking someone else's stories and monetizing them. At best. It's the new world version of a vanity press. At worst, its predatory. Either way. I'm not a fan. I'm out. Shout outs. Last week I post the question to all of you of whether or not we're in a cycle of societal mourning. I'd like to thank Amy, Robert Michelle and others for sharing their views on it on the Facebook group. I learned a lot from all of you. Thank you. worth mentioning. Okay, this one just proves New Zealand is a much better place than it has any right to be. from Rachel Treisman. on NPR comes the article. New Zealand city is taking its official wizard off the page. Roll after two decades, and without spoiling the whole article, two things are apparent. One, I need to get to New Zealand stat and possibly get this job. And to it's worth checking out. I've included a link to the article on the Strive Seek Find page on Facebook. And that concludes this edition of strive seek find. Thank you for listening. If you enjoyed the episode, or would just like to support the podcast. Here are a few ways you can do it. You can leave a review on Apple podcasts or pod chaser. They will help bring more listeners to the podcast. If that isn't your style, you can buy me a coffee or purchase submerge. Links are in the podcast description. Finally, if you have ideas or feedback, please reach out to the strive seek find page on Facebook or to @chancewhitmore5 five on Twitter. Until next time, keep seeking your own brilliant future. Have a great day.