Writing Exposed Some Unresolved Professional Issues

At some point, this stopped being just a book I was writing.

The process started doing something to me.

In Part 1B of my journey writing The Retail Leader Paradox, I talk about the moment I realized the book might actually have something, why I had to stop trying to sound like an author, and what rewriting taught me about discipline, patience, and vulnerability.

But the biggest realization came later.

Writing forced me to revisit professional experiences I thought I had already dealt with. Some things I had moved past. Others, I realized, I had simply covered with productivity.

That's when the writing became more than writing.

The deeper I went into the book, the harder it became to hide from myself.

00:00 – Introduction: The Journey Continues
~01:30 – Q6: When Did I Know the Book Had Something?
~06:45 – Q7: When Was I Trying to Sound Smart Instead of Being Clear?
~11:20 – Q8: Why Isn't Finishing the Draft the Same as Being Finished?
~15:55 – Q9: What Did Writing Teach Me About Discipline?
~19:45 – Q10: What Did Rewriting Teach Me About Patience?

Transcript

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SPEAKER_01 0:50

Welcome, welcome back to Retail Leadership with Steve Worthy. You have uh joined me in the middle of talking about um my book, The Retail Leader Paradox. And uh we are going through some questions. We are going to talk about um five more questions. This is part one B, if you will. Um what I realized was that there's ten questions per part, and uh there's just a lot of a lot to cover. There's a lot of things up here in this mind, and so when I'm asking myself these questions, they they are requiring a little bit of time. So enjoy this um part one B of part one, which is uh um what I thought uh this would be, this book writing journey. And uh let me know your thoughts uh in the comments below. And there's a uh link in the description to help me with my uh subtitle for the for this book, and uh I would love to get your feedback on that. So without further ado, let's just go ahead and join in.

SPEAKER_00 1:55

Welcome to Retail Leadership with Steve Worthy, where we go well beyond the corporate playbook to unpack major opportunities, hidden challenges, and critical issues that senior retail leaders face every day. So let's get started right now.

SPEAKER_01 2:16

Question number six. What section made me realize, okay, this book may actually have something? That's a great question. Um, what section made me realize that okay, so here's here's here's um uh quick story. Uh so you remember earlier in in this episode, I talked about the approachable retail leader. So years ago, 2022, I think it was. I was like, uh I just moved down here to Atlanta. I think it was the fall of 2022. I and I wanted to write that book, and the book follows the the journey of a of a leader, but I won't give away too much of that either. But I started interviewing a whole bunch of retail leaders, domestic and international, because the book covers that, covers this leader as they go from here in the States to over in the UK. And I um started asking, interviewing, I don't know, probably interviewed like 10, 12 people, um, and these were like hour, almost two-hour interviews just about the character in the book and about what he would go through and all these different things. And so it's just like, oh my gosh. So I still have all those interviews. And when this idea for this book, this the this current book, the the Retail Leader Paradox, came up. Um, when I knew it was gonna be something, was that I said, you know what I want to do? This book can't just be through Steve's lens, which is great. I have a ton of experience, right? But I need something else. I need someone else to help tell the story. And so I said, you know what? I am going to take that character that I interviewed 12, 15 people about, and I'm going to put him into this book. And it'd be, and this will be once again like a precursor to or an introduction to this character. And then so this is gonna be the first time you see him, but then you'll see him in other in other books. And when I did that, I really felt like, and I started writing about what he sees, what he's dealing with, how he's feeling, the emotions, the the the conflict, um, the anger, the the frustration, the joy, the satisfaction um of being a retail leader at a certain level and and eventually growing into something else, I I knew that I had something. I realized that I'm not particularly sure if there's a story or a book out there like this, specifically for retail leaders. And then the other side, and I think this is a I got two answers to this question. Um, it says, oh, you know, once again, it says what section um section made you realize um, okay, I got something here. The other day, and this this part just actually came up to me the other day. So I was talking to my my my coach, my writing coach, and we're talking about the book. And one of the things that I didn't necessarily I I sort of knew it, you know, subconsciously, and I never really said it out loud. Because as she's been reading the book, she has really helped me see and verbalize that while the book says the retail leader paradox, these principles are in every leader in different disciplines. But the retail is the lens. And the reason while I while I picked the retail was because I lived it, and I also feel that one time selfishly retail leaders are the best leaders in the world. And then two, the the the level of um the retail environment, there is a level of immediacy that you just don't get anywhere else. Decisions, your customers, your people, everybody's right in front of you, and they're looking for a decision. You don't have time to say we could talk about that later and call a meeting or send an email. A lot of it, whether even if even if you're a corporate, a lot of times it's right there in front of you. You don't you don't have time to react. And so that's just one simple aspect of why I felt like this book will resonate with people, um, not just within the retail space, but within other within other spaces. A question seven, where did I catch myself trying to sound smart instead of being clear? I love this question. I love this question. I love this question. Where did I catch myself trying to sound smart instead of being clear? So here's the problem. Here's the problem. If you are a reader like I am, and I I am an old school book reader, and so I I I caught myself trying to sound like the uh Peter Druckers of the world, the um Peter Sinji's of the world at certain aspects of my writing, and and when I was trying to explain something very eloquently, and you do, you know, using metaphors and uh uh you know all these different phrases and um and ideas and and and that was like that was my rough draft and like the first the first the first draft. And um, it wasn't until like the third, I think, well the manuscript, and then when I got my um my coach that I started to reread everything and I was like, what are you doing? No one talks like that, right? I I got certain parts in uh in the book where two people, myself, um, you know, talking to someone else, and they're we're having this really in-depth conversation, and and I was read and I was rereading it. I was like, no one talks like that. No one when you're sort of arguing or you're sort you're going at each other, you don't talk in complete sentences. People are getting people are getting cut off, half words are being said, and you know, it's it's not it's it's it's not formalaic, it's not um structured, it's just it's it's it's just real. And so I had to catch myself in trying to be okay with being real in these conversations, right? Because retail is real. Right? Retail is real. What's that was that old saying like you can't now I realize it. I'm just saying it now. So there's a um, I don't know if anybody has watched um Stranger Things, and there's uh the one character, Erica, in there, and they're having this conversation, and he and he says to her, um, do you love America? She said, Well, you can't spell, you can't spell America without Erica. And I just I love that line. And it was just, and I was just thinking about it. Well, you know what? You can't spell, um, you can't spell, you know, retail without without the word without the word real. Think about that. I just thought about that. That's so, that's that's so that's so that's so crazy. If you're looking at me online, you're you're actually seeing me write this out. And you can't, you can't you can't spell the word retail without the word real. I know there's a T and a I or whatever in between those two, but it is what it is. All right. You you you you get where I'm going with that. All right, question question, question A. We got a couple more. We're making, we've got we got a good time. Uh hopefully I'm keeping your attention, you know, with all of this. And if you if you you want to um you know help me with the subtitle, um, because I'm still working on the subtitle, and I'll probably be working on it for like at least another month. Um, because I'm I'm getting a lot of um ideas, not ideas, I already got some ideas, but I'm just I'm I have a poll going. So um I would love it if you you know want to help me with that, that would be great. Um probably by part two, I would have already um chosen a subtitle, but um for this part, I'm definitely gonna you know leave it in the description below if you want to fill that out. That'll be great. I appreciate that. Let me ask you something. What happens when the very thing that has made you successful as a leader? Well, that thing it starts to work against you. You work harder, you take on more, you stay involved in every little thing because that's what the company has always required of you. But more importantly, those are the things that get rewarded. But eventually, your team becomes too dependent on you. Your company becomes too dependent on you, you get passed over, they say you're too important to get promoted. The difficult conversations get delayed, while the pressure of your role, it follows you home. And leadership no longer feels the way you thought it would. That is the idea behind my upcoming book, The Retail Leader Paradox. It was written for experienced retail leaders and even companies. Those of you who are, you're not broken, but you may be trapped in a way of leading that no longer serves you. This is not another book about becoming a leader, it's about becoming the leader your next level requires. If this is you, make sure you visit the retailleaderparadox.com, or you can also visit worthy retail.com slash now and get on our waiting list. So question number eight. Um, why is finishing the draft not the same as as being finished? Yeah, listen to me. And this is this is the this is a situation I actually literally just had this weekend. So part of my book writing process is that when I finish a revision, and before I send that revision over to my developmental editor, I listen to it. So this is something that she gave, she gave me a skill or um a um what do you want to call it, um you know, a process to do. Part of my book writing process is to listen to it. So Saturday mornings typically after I made a lot of revisions, and before I send it over to you, to her, I listen to it. And um, so I'm listening to it um chapter four or five or something like that. And I'm listening to it, and I'm like, oh man, okay. And I'm catching little things. I'm catching little, little tiny things, little things. I'm like, oh it's just not good. She's gonna she's gonna catch that, she's gonna catch that. So I get home, and I don't know how you are, but I'm a strategy plan guy. So as I'm walking, and I should be doing this, as I'm walking, I'm taking notes. I'm like, okay, I need to fix this, I need to fix it, da da da. And I get home and I realize that, dude, like this is gonna take me all weekend to go back through all of this, all these new things. Are these things structural? Do they do they um completely diverge the story and um in a way that uh is just is disruptive and that I can't go back and fix? And so I said, no. And so I just sent it off. So the question is around, you know, um, you know, why is finishing the draft not the same as being finished? Honestly, and most writers will say this, and I I I initially thought they were, they were, they were BS at me when they said, man, I always felt like my book was never finished. I said, well, it has to be finished. And I am of that same camp now of like, man, it's just never finished. I mean, it's gonna get finished to the point of like getting published, but man, I I just there's just so many things and layers that you want to go through and you want to change, you want to tweak, or whatever the case is. But um, if they're not detracting from the story, then um do the editing process or you know, developmental editing process, then just leave it and let the the uh developmental editor catch them. And if they feel like it needs to be shifted or tweaked, then you go back in and you make you make those you make those changes. So it's um there's a lot, there's a lot to it from finishing the first draft to like ever, you know, you know, being finished. And I didn't realize that process, right? I to be very honest with you, I didn't I didn't know what a development developmental editor was, I didn't know what a copy editor was or a line editor. I didn't know I had to research all of that stuff like over the last three years. And um, you know, I um I initially thought, well, I could just go to a copy editor. I might I I it should be good enough. And I was like, no, I I want to go through this process. And so the developmental editor has been outstanding. So question number nine. Um, what did I learn about discipline? What did I learn about discipline from writing when I didn't feel like writing? I I learned that this story needs to be told. You know, um, your story needs to be told. And the discipline, when I didn't feel like writing, I took a break. I took breaks, but I didn't feel like writing, I quickly um removed myself from my chair, went and got a cup of coffee, or um took a walk or did something, maybe watched uh something on on YouTube for a second, and then I had to come I had to come back and and I I the discipline came in in having a um a structure for um my chapters um for the story that I wanted to tell and staying true to that. So along the way, you can your um, you know, as my English folks say, you know, you can you can lose the plot, right? I didn't want to lose the plot. I didn't want to do that. So the discipline came in, making sure that I picked up from where I left off and um no new ideas per se. If I had new ideas that I wanted to add, I sh I couldn't add them right now because it would mess up everything that I just previously said. So I would need to introduce new ideas the next round of revisions if that's something that I wanted to do. So I think the discipline of writing um helped me say no to certain things that uh were really good ideas, but didn't necessarily fit into this chapter, where the character was going, what the character needed to say, um my conversations with people, you know, and then also thinking about the reader. Well, does the reader really need this? Or they need this, so I do need to add it, right? So those are some of the things that I had to um learn from a discipline standpoint. Number 10, what did I learn about patience from rewriting the same idea multiple times? What I realized was that as I was writing the uh the ideas got stronger. Right? So as you're writing the ideas multiple times, you are also um you're also peeling away, right? Because when you write something for the first time, you're for me, for me, a lot of my writing initially was very safe, emotionally safe, probably probably for me, but also I don't want to offend anybody, type of emotional safety. Does that make sense? And the more I started to rewrite, the more I started to peel away that safety net from myself and also for you as the reader, because you need to feel this tension, you need to be in this moment, you've lived this moment, you understand what this moment calls for, you've seen it, right? Or you've heard about it, whatever it is. I I couldn't uh pretend that I didn't go through this, I couldn't pretend that others like you haven't gone through this. So what I learned about patience was that uh it's okay to initially probably be a little safe, right? But the more familiar you get with yourself, um, the more familiar you get with who you are as a person, who you are as a leader, um, and you can stand in who you know you are and what you and what you stand for, you can be a little bit more vulnerable, you can share a little bit more, you can share some of those awkward stories that you probably wouldn't have shared before because you know what, they're just stories and they're truth, and people need to hear these things, and so the more you write, the more you start to peel back, and I've actually enjoyed that process a lot. Um dare I say, I'm actually getting emotional right now because the writing process has been very therapeutic for me. It has helped me um deal with, like, and um and bring to to forefront like some some emotional things professionally that I probably I had never dealt with. Think about that, man. Yo, that's crazy. I'm I'm serious. This is off the cuff. This is why I like doing these things this way. Everything I'm I'm saying is just off the cuff. Uh it's helping me, it's helped me deal with a lot of things that I had probably as a professional years ago thought that I was good with. And I was like, oh wow. I I never really thought about this experience in this way before. I didn't know I was deal I was dealing with that. I didn't know that I was covering that up, that emotional situation. I covered it up with um productivity. I'm telling you, this has been a journey. This has been a journey. Um, and I'm I'm excited that it's uh it's not over. It's not over. Not with this book. I I got I got at least two more books in me, um, maybe a third after this one, uh, you know, that um that I want to do. And uh yeah, I'm I'm enjoying this journey. Uh I love it. I'm loving it. I honestly I would have never told you that I would love this part, that I would love writing. After I finished grad school, I was like, dude, I'm not writing anymore. I'm not writing anything anymore. And I have certain parts of my career I've had to, but for the most part, I was just like, I'm not doing this anymore. But I've been enjoying, enjoying the journey. So I I hope you've um learned some things. And here's the thing that I would also ask you. Um, I'm gonna leave a link in the description to um, and this is gonna probably be for all parts. Like if you have a question about the book or about um you know what we do in Worthy Retail and the campus and executive coaching and all those different things, um, please don't don't don't hesitate to reach out because um just would would love to hear from you, hear your thoughts. Uh you know, what what are you expecting um from the book? I know I haven't really talked about it per se, but you can hear some of the things that are gonna probably take place, probably the emotional register that's gonna take place within the book. And um just want to get your get your initial thoughts or if you have a question for me, and I can uh add it to um part two or another episode down the line as well. So thank you so much for uh listening to Retail Leadership with Steve Worthy, and uh we will talk to you soon. I will see you in um in part two of this book writing process, this book writing journey. Have a great day. God bless. Well, thank you so much for joining this episode. The book is still being written, but the conversation has already started. If there was something, if there's something small in this episode, something big in this episode that made you think differently about your own leadership, that's important. And I want you to stay connected to the journey. So make sure you visit the Retail LeaderParadox.com to learn more about the book. You can join our wait list and and also follow what comes next. Because here's the thing sometimes the issue is not that you've stopped leading, it is that the way you have always led may no longer be enough. So thank you for joining us. Have a great day, and God bless.