308th Floor: It's Time for 100% Authenticity in 2024

Have you ever caught up in the whirlwind of the holiday season and felt like you were dragging last year's baggage into the new one? Buckle up as we share our humorous yet candid experiences of the festive chaos, from road-rage-riddled drivers to over-energetic kids. We'll also help you reflect on the loose ends that need tying up before you step into the New Year, armed with an arsenal of thought-provoking questions to give you a head-start.

Let's delve into the rocky terrain of personal growth and self-discovery. We bare our souls, revealing battles with self-imposed barriers, anxiety, and past regrets. It's not all doom and gloom, though - we also share our triumphs, lessons learned, and how these insights can be applied to your journey towards transformation. After all, isn't life about turning our mess into a message?

Finally, we zoom in on the issues of identity, authenticity, and the journey of kicking off new business ventures. We caution against the pitfalls of people-pleasing and address the fear that often accompanies vulnerability. We underscore the power of authenticity and remaining true to oneself, even in the face of scrutiny. To cap it off, we share our insights on the transformative power of coaching and how it can revolutionize your personal and professional lives. Our conversation is your gateway to a coaching experience for you. So come on in, let's navigate this year-end maze and gear up for the New Year together. Better yet, let's celebrate our shared human journey - the wins, the losses, the lessons, and the love.

Look up, and let's elevate!

Transcript

Gen: 0:14

Hey, it's Gen the Builder, and Kory, and I'm wishing everyone a happy holidays, because the hustle and bustle of the holidays is all around us.

Kory: 0:25

Yes indeed, Don't you love it, Jen? Don't you love that I do? I'm trying to get out there and get stuff done.

Gen: 0:32

It's not angry drivers.

Kory: 0:34

Angry drivers, angry shoppers wild children wanting toys, toys, toys. And I'm not even talking about the people that's in the quote unquote holiday spirit I'm just talking about like trying to pay your bills or get some groceries, get some food on the table Right. It's like man, does it really have to be all this just to get some groceries?

Gen: 0:58

Get some gas.

Kory: 0:59

Yeah, man.

Gen: 1:00

Find a parking spot. You know, everything becomes so intense.

Kory: 1:05

Yeah, and it's all in the holiday spirit.

Gen: 1:08

You know I loved Corey when he went into the grocery store and I was chilling in the car because it was a quick run and you said, man, there is a glitch in the system in the matrix. Yeah, it was crazy, and just as you said that the guy next to us parking hit the curb, yeah, and.

Kory: 1:28

I'm just like, oh, and he hit the curb yeah.

Gen: 1:32

Sometimes there are days like that. It's like what is in the air.

Kory: 1:37

Literally Exactly, and so we made sure to go to the store and come right back home and vowed that we weren't going to leave anymore.

Gen: 1:46

It's nice and safe.

Kory: 1:47

Yeah, safe indoors.

Gen: 1:49

Yes, absolutely.

Kory: 1:50

For now. Hopefully this will pass.

Gen: 1:52

Yeah.

Kory: 1:54

And again, you know, we had talked about how we were going to structure this particular podcast and we had talked about topics and things that we would do or talk about. And so you put it in my court and I said I got this, I'm going to run with it, and I don't typically like to share what I got or what I'm going to run with. So I was thinking about dropping some things on you, but I did run a few things by you, so you're a little bit in the know.

Gen: 2:21

A little little bit.

Kory: 2:22

A little tiny bit, but for those of you listening, I'm just going to say this you know we are, we are about to close out 2023, and there is just a little bit of unfinished business that we need to take care of. And I'm not talking about you, and I meaning you, me, at least, we hope not, right? You, the listener, and me, the podcaster. I'm talking about you as an individual, me as an individual, and so it's important that we sew up, oh, these ties and strings that we have hanging off of us, that way, when we go into the next year, when we go into 2024, we're not concerned about those things that we were supposed to be wrapping up in 2023, but we let them linger, and so now we're just dragging the rest of our baggage into the next year.

Gen: 3:18

I love that analogy, speaking of holiday hustle and bustle, because people are wrapping things, and when you think about wrapping a present, right, you put the tape on, you're putting the bow, you're cutting it up, tying it, and then you're like okay, onto the next thing. Is that where you're talking about yes?

Kory: 3:34

because you want to finish something, so you have completion, you're not worried about the, the gift that you left under the bed, and oh, I got to go up there and wrap that gift real quick, before you know it's time to open it. You just, you know, in the mood or in the vein of saying it's done, it's wrapped up, and so, in the same way, going from one year to the next, I just think it would be a very good idea to make sure you wrap some of these things up. So that brings me to my point. What are some of these hard hitting things, hard hitting questions that we need to ask ourselves so that that question is not taken into the next year?

Kory: 4:16

And I know when I presented that to you the first time, you looked at me like why wouldn't you take that question? And it's not so much that you're not taking the question, you're just allowing yourself to be relieved because you have an answer. So if that question should come up again, there's no pondering or thinking or thought provoking moments that you have to go through in order to answer that question. And so I'm just going to pose a few things to you guys and I just want to get your thoughts and your opinions and Jen's going to be doing the answering, but you have all the time to me to think it through the best way you possibly can. First question Jen, and it's not to put you on the spot, but it will definitely put you on the spot.

Gen: 5:03

Oh good, and if I don't think of anything, I'll be like I'd like to call my lifeline Corey, absolutely, and then I will be. That's always comforting.

Kory: 5:11

I will be glad to step in and help you with that. So what do you find most challenging in your life right this moment in 2023?

Gen: 5:27

What I find most challenging is my own Barriers. I set up for myself the overthinking of things, which is what I mean. So that's it and, in summary, you want me to expand on that.

Kory: 5:49

I want to let's go a little bit below the surface.

Gen: 5:51

Like I know what my gut saying. I know it's saying you got this, this is all you, you were made for this moment. And then in my mind I'm thinking but I already do a lot. People are going to think I'm wanting to get more attention. Or like when does she stop? When do her and Corey just say you know, we're taking a pause. How many prop passion projects can one person have? Why is she so loud about what they do? You know, it's all those questions that are not helpful. They're actually disempowering questions. So kind of those voices are originally what happened in my mind. And then I literally have to battle those type of questions with the other kind of questions Like what does it matter what they say? Yeah, who are you doing this for? What is this really about? What are you gonna miss out on because you're worried about a few people that think you're too loud about things? And when did it hurt anyone to have too many passion projects? It's causing love and joy in the world, not harm and hate, exactly.

Kory: 7:16

And so when I hear you say that stuff, you know what I'm thinking. I'm a big proponent of having conversation with myself internally. They say if you start externally having that conversation and answering yourself, that's when you start showing some signs of mental health. Good to know.

Gen: 7:33

So what about when you do it on a journal?

Kory: 7:36

Even better.

Gen: 7:37

Yeah, that helps my mental health.

Kory: 7:39

Yeah that helps your mental health and we're not trying to harm our mental health. But I agree 100%, jen. So you know I have those thoughts run through my mind periodically, but the conversation quickly dampens that and silences that voice that's trying to convince me that I shouldn't have passion projects, I shouldn't have this drive, I shouldn't know I should. I definitely should and I'm going to have more. I'm going to keep doing them. I'm going to do more. I have more inside of me to do and I can't help it. If someone that's not me doesn't have it inside of them to do more, it's not my fault. I'm not ticking on that project. That's not my passion project.

Gen: 8:28

Right right.

Kory: 8:29

To get people to do more.

Gen: 8:31

Exactly so that's a good question.

Kory: 8:35

Yeah, it's a great question and I did not create that question or think of that one. I did find that question on hard hitting questions and so that's one of those. When you start asking questions, you can look these things up. You don't have to rely on you, know.

Gen: 8:51

Say more about that. It's a website called Hard Hitting Questions, or just Google it and then show it.

Kory: 8:58

Ok, some hard hitting questions, and that was one of the top ones. There are others and we'll get into some of those. But yeah, it's important to deal with the hard hitting questions. You know this, again, going from one year to the next, when you address the hard hitting questions, you can be assured that you're not dragging the extra baggage that you don't have to into the next year Nice, nice. Now question number two what is something that many people Don't know about you?

Gen: 9:34

Oh, my God, you're just going to come from left field on this one. Yeah, oh man, there's a lot of things that many people don't know about me, because there are things that Um requires a lot of trust, like trust, that's evident.

Kory: 9:53

So let's not go as deep on this one, because I mean, I get it and I have people in my life right now that will not tell me certain things about them. So, um, not you. Obviously I'm pretty in the know as far as what you have gone through and what you're going through, but there are other people that I talk to on a regular basis and I know, you know it's not a hide, but it's a not yet.

Gen: 10:24

Yeah or not now. So I'll start with something very simple. Okay, um, people will say, oh, jen, you're such a natural on stage or when you speak. You're so confident. I love hearing you talk and I get so nervous. There's no way I could ever do that. And when I tell people that I have about one to two minute anxiety type feelings before I speak, especially when it's something new or something big and important to me that I might not have ever done, um, I'm talking about stomach issues, wanting to throw up, sweating hard, breathing, like I experienced those things. And when I've shared that with some people like, oh, you're just saying that to comfort me. Um, I'm good, but I'm not that good Like, um, you know that. That's the truth, and those are some things that people don't know.

Kory: 11:25

Give me one more, just a little bit deeper.

Gen: 11:27

A little bit deeper, right. Although today my life is the way it is, that there have been some speaking of hard-hitting questions, hard-hitting regrets, you know that you just look back and or you think for me that people don't know like I was actually that person. I actually did those things and had no regard towards relationships. Those are things that I don't everyday share, you know. Yeah, so when you talk about mistakes and flawed and learning from failures, oh, I'd probably be if there was, if we were in a class and someone said, who here knows all about that? I'd be in front of that line, both hands up, because that's a very real way that I've learned in life. Yeah, was that general.

Kory: 12:33

Yeah, no, it was on the general side, but it's not so general that it's not impactful. It's very impactful. I would love to share something that a lot of people don't know about me, just so I can be a little bit transparent too. You know this about me and I've shared this with you before. A lot of people don't know that I have this thing about me that pushes me and drives me beyond belief to make me accomplish my goals that I set for myself, and I'm almost dogmatic about accomplishing them, and it's a frustration for me when people don't believe that that's my goal and that's what I'm pushing for. It's, and we'll get into a deeper part of that, but I'll just explain that.

Kory: 13:33

So the writing of the book, the writing music, the writing plays and scripts and so forth, being in the band and having the podcast, all those are things that are obviously passion projects, but it means something more to me than just doing it. It's completing it, it's putting a bow on it, it's wrapping it up, it's making sure that it looks good, it's presentable, the aesthetics are pleasing to the eye, and that I did it with excellence. And so when people look at what I've done and minimize it based on. Oh, he couldn't have did all that. Oh, I don't think. I think maybe someone else did that. It's a desire to even what you're actually doing and people don't know. This is you're fueling the tank even more to do more. If you thought that was a lot, wait till you see the next thing type of deal, and so a lot of people don't know that about me.

Gen: 14:36

Yeah, yeah, I, you know, it's a true. And I don't want to assume why people say those things If it's a reaction of like, wow, he's really talented and I didn't know, did he really do this? Because I had no idea that he was capable. Whatever that reason is, yeah, that is what comes out of their mouths. And again, I don't want to assume, because some of these people have been such supporters of what you do, true, right? So again, we don't know their story, what they're sharing there, and I love that, it fuels you as if you need fuel. But, yeah, it kind of is that fuel injection?

Gen: 15:19

And I love the analogy of the wrapping of gifts because, corey, in general in life when we've given gifts, they're very much from the heart, very thoughtful, and the wrapping is a big thing for us the aesthetics, the perfection of things lined up as far as wrapping paper, and that's exactly how we give our gifts to the world. Every part of it is thoughtful, there's energy and intent behind the whole wrapping of the gift. So I think sometimes when we give the gift and there's different reactions, some of them are a little like, well dang, I wish I hadn't spent that much money on that gift or I wish I hadn't spent that much time.

Gen: 16:03

That's the initial reaction, but that's not our purpose for gift giving, right it's? However you receive, it is how you receive it. We give it with 100% of who we are and hope you enjoy it, and if you don't, here's the receipt so you can return it.

Kory: 16:23

I don't know. Yeah, I mean pretty much, that's all we can offer. Is, you do have a 30 day return policy Right Now. If you keep it for 31 days and I'm just gonna assume what I've given to you was more than enough and you just didn't decide to return it until you got finished using it? Yeah, the last question, jen, is for you and for myself what prevents you from sharing these parts about yourself? Yes, it's a hard hitting question. Yeah, these are hard hitting.

Gen: 16:55

I'm just gonna speak from my heart on this, and I hope that there's grace where this lands and that we can all self reflect and ask ourselves these questions, because we all have things I believe that we're not proud of, right? So it's based around fear fear of rejection, fear of letting people into really dark spaces that you haven't really shared for the sake of fear of judgment, fear of it making me today totally invalid. I've had trauma where my past was constantly brought up and held against me. No matter what I was doing in life, no matter how much I had healed and moved forward, I was still being tied to my hurt teenage self into my young adulthood years, right? So that's a real fear, like just living through that again or being the center of a joke because no one else wants to talk about what's really happening today. So it's comforting for you to talk about me and our past. You know that kind of way, and I love these questions, corey, because this is what happens in a coaching session, right, you hear yourself and you talk yourself through this, and what I am out loud saying is that it's those things in my past that have made me who I am today, in the most influential, most powerful way.

Gen: 18:39

Without those moments, I wouldn't be able to relate to people. People wouldn't be able to relate to me because I have not lived this perfect life. I haven't lived the life that people set out to try and live. I've had detours, some huge ones. I've had moments where I've had to fight for my life or where life didn't mean much to me. You know what I mean. So that and I'm gonna say this in all transparency that was a concern and this hard hitting question, I think, has opened up some hard hitting changes for me. That's what it's supposed to do.

Gen: 19:24

I have a lot of stories I wanna share with people to let them know you're not alone in these struggles. Like, here's my story, what can you take from them? We do this with our kids, right Like I shared my stories with the kids at different times and when people asked me how did you and Corey do so well with your children, first I say the grace of God, for sure. Secondly, I say because we've been honest about our lives, and that's the power of honesty and the power of change, you know. So I really appreciate this question and the fact that this is a real time coaching moment.

Kory: 20:09

And what's funny about it is when I asked you that question, you literally rolled your eyes and said you mouth, he would ask that. So I just knew at that moment and that's why I made that statement like yes, these are hard hitting questions because this is not what you want, to be asked on the spot. You want to know. I got something prepared.

Kory: 20:30

I got a pre-made cake over here, so I can just push that out and say, oh, I'm going to present this to you so that this is more palatable, because I don't want to tell you what I'm really thinking and what I'm really going through. But, jen, thank you so much for answering that question. I'm going to answer that question because this is something that I definitely struggled and struggle with. So why do I fuel myself and allow myself to go so hard, knowing that the outcome is still going to be the outcome? And why don't I share this? It's because, you know again, this is where that bridge between being hurt, being offended and being dismantled in real time in a conversation where someone may say did you really do this? How are you able to do this? As if I'm not able to do it, as if there aren't others capable of writing music, writing plays, writing movies, writing books, singing songs and doing a podcast, and so that's. It's like how dare you insult me like that?

Gen: 21:42

Well, it's like the return question being why wouldn't I be able to? Do this True? What are you saying? Yeah, what are you implying? What are you implying when you ask that?

Kory: 21:51

Exactly. And so then that's where the battle for me begins. Because then I'm asking myself have I not presented that I'm intelligent? Have I not given a thought that I have some level of intellectual portion of me exist? So why would anyone question that or bring forth any doubt in that? And so, of course, with that being presented, I'm pushing myself even harder, not to please them but to please me, because I'm saying to myself at that moment again if you thought that was a lot, wait till you see what I got next, because I just sit and think of things to do and ways to create.

Gen: 22:39

He really does yeah.

Kory: 22:42

And ways to create and it's fun for me. So fear of being hurt? I guess it goes back to being fearful.

Gen: 22:53

Those fears are legit. And you had said something query with people pleasing and that was something I thought like oh, I'm over that. I'm not a people pleaser. I don't do things because people say do it. I challenged that as co, I asked the questions. I'm very free thinking and I have my own ideas right. So you think on that level. But questions like this you're like oh, wait a minute, because I'm doing a podcast or because I post things, or because we're Genco Sound Company, there's branding to be concerned about. The thing is is we're about people and I've created this. Actually, we co-created it.

Gen: 23:33

You helped me with a word. I'm like I don't know what this word should be People placing everyone on positive levels every day. It doesn't mean lying to you and taking away the whole truth, because honesty, integrity right Honesty is one of our values. Integrity is a principle that we live by. So are we really living by it by hiding certain things? And so then I asked myself what am I hiding and why am I hiding it?

Gen: 24:01

I think there have been moments where I wanted to say something and then I use the excuse of oh, it's not the time, because I believe in the power of timing as well, I don't believe in vomiting everything you've ever done in life. That's not what this is about. But you know intuitively that I should share this. And then there's reasons like, oh, I can't because this podcast was supposed to be about this, or there's people at the table and I want it to be about them and I, you know. So you make up all these excuses and which eventually are reasons linked to people pleasing Right, like what are they gonna wanna hear? What's gonna encourage them? And people tell me this all the time. Corey, people really really know me, jen. If people could really really know you. That's where it's at.

Kory: 24:50

That's the sweet spot.

Gen: 24:51

Like don't be someone that you think they want you to be because you're a coach and you know. I'm sorry to say this, but most coaches present the same kind of way on websites and the way they talk and things like that. That's not me, naturally, it's not me, instinctively, it's not me and I am a very different type of person, you know. And then people like, oh, she's fun, oh, she's party, that's part of me and that's not my full identity and that's because I haven't let people see that. I think it may be comforting for me to have people think oh, she's fun, she's loud, right. Oh, and she can run a department and she can run a team, she's super smart.

Kory: 25:39

Oh, but do you see how that? I mean? If you're listening to this, I'm sure you're hearing exactly what I'm hearing. We, as people, are always trying to put a label on someone so that we understand it better.

Gen: 25:54

Isn't that the truth?

Kory: 25:56

Absolutely, and so when you're able to understand it better, you think well, when you think you understand it better, you are in the mode of saying I can figure you out, yes, but the bottom line is, people weren't be, they weren't made to just be figured out.

Gen: 26:14

Yeah, that's not the whole point of this, it's not the point of this little thing called life.

Kory: 26:19

It's just, oh, I figured you out. I know what you're about to and to give the stamp of approval on.

Gen: 26:23

This is good. This is not.

Kory: 26:25

Yeah, it's like you're not a mystery anymore.

Gen: 26:27

Can we just be people who are just being, yeah, human being?

Kory: 26:34

Human being.

Gen: 26:36

What does that?

Kory: 26:36

mean, let's explore that and be shocked and surprised when things happen and people shock and surprise us all the time that the experts are trying to break down some of everything and everyone so that they can have a finger or a thumb on every characteristic trait and pattern. And sometimes that's just not possible. And even if it is possible, why would you want it to be?

Gen: 27:06

Yeah.

Kory: 27:07

We want to enjoy this life as much as possible.

Gen: 27:10

Good for that too, yeah.

Kory: 27:12

Thank you, jen, for allowing me to go there, and thank you, listeners, for hearing us out and even having your own thoughts, because I would love to. Man, that's the only Debbie Downer about this podcast is I can't hear in real time what other people are thinking and what they're going through.

Gen: 27:32

Well, that's one of the exciting things about 2024.

Kory: 27:36

Talk about it.

Gen: 27:37

We're going to go into detail more later. We're having live audiences and we're going to start it quarterly and in these events we're going to have workshops for growth. We're going to have entrepreneurs, small business owners who are going to introduce their products, and we're going to create a community where we're just being, where there's no judgment, where we can exercise being out of our comfort zone so we can grow and we can learn from one another.

Kory: 28:04

Yes, indeed, and so when she talks about the entrepreneur and the business person, we're definitely going to share a lot of light on our businesses. We've had multiple. We started one together. I helped Jen by starting her first business. I did that because she was engulfed in case management and we were trying to fulfill a need. And we saw something, we learned something If you see a need, you fulfill the need, and then fulfilling that need will make money for you, and so we saw that. So she didn't have the time to take a break to create the business. So I did my research, found out how to create the business, did so, and that business thrived for probably three to five years, and once that need was met, we moved on, and that's something that a lot of people don't understand All businesses aren't made to last forever.

Gen: 28:58

No, it's for a season and, corey, that wasn't my first business. Here's something that people don't know about me. I actually started businesses at 13 years old.

Kory: 29:08

Wow, look at her go.

Gen: 29:10

So let me share this. I think I've shared it, but I'm not going to take away from it either. My mom was a single mom, love Princess house and she wanted the hostess gifts. Because we are on a really tight budget and you do consulting at free products right Based on how much you sell and all this stuff. And I did it for my mom and I couldn't stand Princess house but I sold the crap out of it. I learned how to do the angles as a kid. Mothers love that stuff. Not only do they love the product, but they love that they're seeing the oldest daughter of a single mom doing her thing. So business, selling, connecting with people, has been something that has shown up in my life. And I say this when you're not lined up with your purpose and you're living off the path, your greatest gift becomes your greatest. I don't want to say weakness, but it becomes the thing that tries to take you out.

Kory: 30:14

Absolutely no, I agree 100%. We did not hear the last episode of Tech the Elevator. There will be another reading and another sharing, along with other activities going on in Riverside, california, at the IEHP For ruffles CRC of the ruffles book that's my book Blink, blink, blink.

Kory: 30:35

And that, yeah, we'll get to that. Blink, blink, blink that's a term that's used in the book. So the shameless band will be performing live at the House of Blues Foundation Room on December 29th at nine o'clock. Please, if you got a chance to come out. It's an end of the year type of party, but it's not on New Year's Eve. So if you want to get your party on but you don't want to be out when they're doing all that.

Gen: 30:59

It's the pre New Year's.

Kory: 31:01

When they're doing all the bang bang stuff Come on out and have a good time.

Gen: 31:06

Absolutely. And the last plug if this session in the session before this or episode really got you to see how powerful a partnership is with someone that you can talk with openly and who believes that you are capable and that you can do all the things you want to do, it's all inside you. You just need to be given this space to explore and discover. That's the power of coaching. There it is, and I love to coach all sorts of people. It is my heart and my passion where all people, all socioeconomic classes, all ethnicities, can plug into something and benefit from.

Gen: 31:51

Yes, yes, life and I'm we. This is not scripted. Today's episode really was a coaching opportunity from you, corey, to me. I use that space because I know how much coaching is. So when I get free coaching, oh, I'm all about it. I'm going to use that time Like, yeah, it's my time, oh, no, it's going to cost you later, trust me. Oh, I don't mind paying you. Anyways, everyone, it has been such a blast being here with you today. We hope you have a wonderful day. Rest of the week, take care and be you and allow people to be themselves. There you go, you know it's to take the elevator. We say look up and let's elevate.