309th Floor Harnessing the Power of Positivity in Performance and Creativity

Ever been crippled by stage fright or had a performance go south? Join GentheBuilder and Kory from The GenKo Sound Company as we guide you through overcoming performance jitters and tapping into your innate talents. Listen to Kory share his own on-stage debacle and learn the power of positive self-talk, mindfulness, and learning from missteps. By the end of this conversation, we guarantee you’ll gain invaluable insights into handling performance anxiety and making the most of your abilities.

Are you constantly striving for perfection in your creative pursuits? Maybe it's time you embraced the beauty in imperfections. We share wisdom on the importance of course correction, setting realistic expectations, and learning from others. Hear us talk about being in the flow, focusing on individual development and growth, and staying open to unexpected lessons. The journey to creativity is often not a straight path but a winding one - and we're here to help you navigate it gracefully and confidently.

Finally, we explore the art of overcoming self-judgment, building an authentic connection with the audience, and using critiques as stepping stones to self-improvement. We share tips on going through it to get through it, arguing that success lies not so much in controlling the outcome but in enjoying the process. The episode wraps up with us delving into the power of connection in creative pursuits and the importance of maintaining lasting relationships. Leave this episode feeling inspired, empowered, and ready to share your gifts with the world.

Look up, and let's elevate!

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:15

Hey, it's Jen the Builder, and Corey, and hello everyone. We are Ecstatic to be here with you on the elevator.

Speaker 2: 0:26

Yeah, for a couple of reasons actually, and I know we're getting to the end of the year and it's just exciting when you're like you're not counting the episodes but you're looking at the progress that you're making. And when you see this amount of progress coming at you at the end of the year, it's so fun to like kind of track it and look at it and see what's going on, you know.

Speaker 1: 0:51

Yeah, totally, and that's the beautiful thing about time in is you have enough information and data to track.

Speaker 2: 1:01

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:02

But that's not what today's episode is about. No, no, no. So we've never mentioned the details of the Genco Sound Company, because we're in the process of building some things and there are things that we do because we've got that process down. So, for the Genco Sound Company, one of the things that we do is what we call GATS development. Stay with me here, I don't want to lose you. Simply said, it's talent development and an option for talent management.

Speaker 1: 1:42

When we say talent development, we internally say GATS, g-a-t-s, because it's your gifts, these talents and skills. So it's all those things that you have. We work with you, you lead the way, we support and partner with you and we just create this amazing space, after all these years, for the GATS to come out and be encouraged and to be expanded on and to get stronger, you know. So, in light of that, some of the people we work with have come with stage fright or, you know, performance anxiety, corey, and it's easier, I should say, when you experience those things yourself. Corey, from what you tell me, that has never, ever, been a thing for you.

Speaker 2: 2:41

So there's okay. So there's a level of preparation that I like to get to, and after I've reached that level of preparation, then you typically know I don't have stage fright. I don't have that worry of something going wrong If I'm with someone that I'm extremely comfortable with. That stage fright is not there. But I have gone up on stage when I wasn't completely prepared and it showed and I knew this is about to be disastrous and I don't know how to save it.

Speaker 1: 3:16

So yeah, so you've been through something on stage where it wasn't saved and it just progressively got worse.

Speaker 2: 3:25

Crash and burn, because I was taught that once you start the show, you do not stop, no matter what. And in the professional world, that's the way you're supposed to do it. In the world that I came from, which is from church, you know you can stop and the people have a lot of grace for you. So you know you feel a little bit like okay, I messed up but I'm about to restart. But in the professional world, once the camera starts rolling, once the tape is rolling, you just got to roll with the punches and whatever happens happens. And so, just to give people an idea of what I did to myself, I sang a song in the wrong key from start to finish and I could not find the key.

Speaker 2: 4:11

I couldn't hear it for nothing, and so I'm singing off, knowing I'm off, and every time I tried to adjust it got worse and worse and worse, and I'm like, okay, so you weren't allowed to say stop the music.

Speaker 1: 4:25

Give me grace, I'm gonna find this note. Let's do it again.

Speaker 2: 4:31

See, here's the thing. Okay, if you do that, you would get used to having that concession. Yeah, I can see that. But if you learn your lesson, which I did, you'll never sing a song in the wrong key again. For the rest of your life and I did that when I was probably like 17 years old, 18 years old I've never sang a song, in the entirety of a song, in wrong key. I might have hit a wrong note and like, oh, of course, correct quickly, but I've never done that mistake again.

Speaker 1: 5:05

Yeah, that's the power of feeling, yeah, and making mistakes is learning from it and knowing what to do for the next time. So, for those who are listening, you're thinking I don't wanna be on stage. This episode doesn't pertain to me. This is really about again, remember it's gifts, abilities, talents and skills. It could be leading a meeting yeah. It could be sending a welcome email and introducing yourself, and it's something that you've never done before. It could be writing something in a newsletter.

Speaker 2: 5:41

Reading out loud in front of a book club.

Speaker 1: 5:43

So if you have any moments of self-doubt, or your negative self-talk shows up and keeps you from doing the thing that will highlight your gifts, then, yeah, this is what we're talking about, right? Yeah?

Speaker 2: 6:00

this is definitely to help and enhance what it is that's already inside of you. You're just gonna learn how to push it to the forefront, opposed to letting it be in dormant and hiding out in the background.

Speaker 1: 6:13

Yeah, yeah. So I think with anything it starts with remember we've always said it starts in your thoughts, in your mind, and I'm gonna use one word for this whole thing really is mindfulness and paying attention to the things that are going on in your mind. Slowing those downs, yeah, acknowledging what's happening, addressing it, acknowledging it, and then have yourself talk moments and really see what's what. Not ignoring your emotions, paying attention to them, but also, like you said, corey, course correcting. And the more you do course correction and the more you exercise positive self-talk, the faster and easier it becomes in time, right? So, corey, I know. For me, man, I just imagined your story of singing on the wrong note from the beginning of the song all the way to the end, and watching those people look at me cringing yes but he give that look.

Speaker 2: 7:21

oh, this is awful, my ears you know, he thinks he's a singer, he thinks he can sing. Oh, my God and people are rude like that, like oh, oh, my God, please stop Little kids putting their hands over their ears.

Speaker 1: 7:36

I was like okay, yeah, so let's talk about mindfulness on that one. And I mean, you're experiencing real time anxiety, the awareness in your body. I can only imagine what that was like Heart palpitations.

Speaker 2: 7:55

Heart pounding, sweat pouring, yeah, palms so moist I could barely hold the microphone. I was weak in the knees. Yeah, it was a horrific experience and good friends of mine told me hey, man, give it up, don't do this no more. This is not your gift, this is not what you should be doing.

Speaker 1: 8:20

Ouch yeah, and they knew you could sing. They didn't cough it up as in. You had one bad moment.

Speaker 2: 8:28

You know, a lot of times people aren't that forgiving. They say what they've either wanted to say, or what's been in their hearts to say, or what's you know prompting them to, which is other people in peer pressure.

Speaker 1: 8:44

Yeah, so how did you bounce back from that setback? We're kind of jumping the gun, but I just want to ask the obvious question here.

Speaker 2: 8:51

My mother, Aw no, my mom was. She just laughed and she made it a big joke. And then we talked about it and her, being a singer and being in the professional realm of singing, began to instruct me how to course correct. And this is a good pointer for any situation. It's like driving a car. You know if you hit those speed bumps, you don't just keep running over the speed bumps, you don't say, oh well, I guess I'm just going to be going the rest of the road. No, you have to continue to put yourself in the middle of the road. Sometimes the car's steering isn't aligned properly, so you constantly have to adjust, and so if you don't do that in everything you're doing, there is a chance for a catastrophic disaster. So course correction in real time is a real thing, yeah.

Speaker 1: 9:52

And because we are talking about course correction here, it is bottom line with mindfulness, except the fact that there are imperfections. Yeah, I didn't know this was a thing until really working with music with you, where there are not a lot of people who are actually pitch perfect. No, and then I didn't hear until you pointed it out as we were working with people. So most people are not pitch perfect, like you're finding the notes, you're playing with them, you're making things your own style. So recognizing that your gats is an art form and with art, it's a process and it's not about the perfect end result. So that helps me because it takes the pressure off this song I'm playing on the piano. While singing it, my goal is for it to be perfect, whereas if I go in it saying this is not going to come out perfect, but it's going to come out the way it needs to, well, there's that, and then there's perfect for you.

Speaker 1: 11:05

Yes.

Speaker 2: 11:05

What do I mean? So I know bass players that purpose purposefully play the wrong notes because they're putting a groove in there and so there are no wrong notes in this groove. You can play any note in the scale, but if you put it in the right groove it sounds like it sounds good. And there are some musicians, some artists, some people with gats that are so good at what they do. Every time they do what they're doing it makes everything everybody else doing looks wrong. That's how good they are. And so what am I saying? We need to be just worried about ourselves instead of what's going on around us. All the other colorful things happen.

Speaker 1: 11:53

Realistic expectations. Like I, want everyone to be completely satisfied with what I'm about to do there you go, there's critics. Yeah Right, it's like not everyone's going to love this and I'm okay with that.

Speaker 2: 12:07

And some are going to hate it.

Speaker 1: 12:08

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 12:09

And some are going to question why you're doing it anyway. For sure. Why are you cooking? You can't cook what I've been cooking all my life. Well, you ought to give it up now, really.

Speaker 1: 12:18

No. So I'm going to ask you something, Corey, because we live in a world where, if you're talking about growth and development which is one of my specialties and loves it's a lot about goal setting. Right, what's the goal of this conversation? What are you hoping is the outcome of this coaching session? You know, goals, goals, goals. There's a part of me that feels that flow in this realm is more important than a goal. What do you think?

Speaker 2: 12:51

What I'm coming to realize as I go deeper and deeper into this world of connection with people and learning what I'm supposed to be doing. A lot of times we think we know what we should be doing. A lot of times we think we know where we're going, but as you begin to talk to people, you realize like wait, wait, wait, I'm going a whole another direction. What is this? And that's when you learn like, wow, that's. I wasn't here to get what I wanted. I was here to get something totally different. I was to pour into that person and that person was to pour into me. I thought I was about to give a good speech on this particular subject, when in actuality, it's the other way around. So I think we should sometimes go into this thing, especially in creativity, where we're open to receive what it is that people are trying to give to us at points and times. Totally.

Speaker 1: 13:51

Totally miss out without that piece of being open to receive right. I think of a couple of really practical tips on this, and I've done it with team and I've done it with myself. So it's all around painting, and if you're not a painter, that's okay, because there's places like Purple Easel that actually give you this amazing step by step on how to create the piece of art that everyone's trying to replicate.

Speaker 2: 14:21

Yeah, and quick sidebar on that. And that alone you walk away with a beautiful piece of art that you painted yourself. And then you're saying now, hey, man, I might campaign.

Speaker 1: 14:31

Right, and it's funny because there's one goal. Here I am with a goal thing. The goal is to paint that. What ends up happening is everyone has their own rendition, but you can tell it still a part. Yeah, it resembles that, but, man, you made it your own Right. And that is what I'm talking about the flow, when you get caught up on the specifics of the goal and maybe you just need to redefine your goal, maybe that's what it is and that's where the flow is, you know. So it's that's what we're talking about. Mindfulness.

Speaker 2: 15:06

I like it.

Speaker 1: 15:07

I like it. So with people who critique you, corey and me, what do you do with that? They freely share critique, give you feedback.

Speaker 2: 15:18

Um, I'll tell you and I don't know how honest I should be about this, but I feel like I should be completely and totally honest because I Know people would really want to hear the truth. Mm-hmm, my lead singer for my in the band wants me to Be the best bass player in the world. I Don't want to be the best bass player in the world. I don't even want to be almost the. I don't want to even get close to being the best player, best bass player. That that's not a goal of mine.

Speaker 2: 15:52

That's not the the thing that I'm trying to achieve here. That sets me in a whole nother category, that puts me in a whole nother realm and that separates me from anybody else. And if that, if that happens, then I'm not in the shameless band. I'm not doing things that have people around me. Where I am right now allows me to have people around, people around me that are Better musicians than me, so I can learn and pull and and Understand a little bit better, because what I bring to the table is offering some of those same things to the other individuals so and I love that you've created your own style with bass playing.

Speaker 1: 16:38

I've seen bass players and they pretty much stand there and look cool. You are a moving around bass player, which Happened over time, yeah, you know, and it's very engaging and it's such an amazing way to connect to the audience because you're not just standing there and you're not necessarily lead singer, so you know the center of what's going on upstage. But I've heard a lot of people say they're very drawn to your presence on stage. So, with that being said, I Wanted to talk to people right now, because we're talking about Performances and when you're talking about music, playing a song, timing is everything right, whereas when you're speaking, acting, you have more freedom, I feel.

Speaker 1: 17:24

Yeah unless I mean if you're playing a song and you're the only Musician, you can control that and slow it down and do whatever. But right now we're just talking about where you have the freedoms, take it right. So we were talking about paying attention to what your body's saying. So if your heart's racing and you have a moment just to breathe and you know mind-body connection and Do the deep breathing right there and then calm it down, say this is gonna be over and I, I Believe that everything is gonna be okay, this isn't gonna take me down, I'm not hurting anyone.

Speaker 2: 18:05

I hope not, at least.

Speaker 1: 18:07

You know, and just putting things into realistic perspective, right. So, and I've done that before too, when I've had big speaking engagements and I'm really about to go in into some personal things in my life that I don't normally share For me. So people have asked me you always look so comfortable when you're speaking or when you're on stage and I'm like no, for certain things I have about a two-minute freak out moment and I can hear my breathing on the microphone. I can feel it in my body, I hear the trembling in my voice, I'm sweating profusely and I just Slow down what I'm saying. I find people who have become focal points for me. That's a very real thing, and guess what I do? It's the person who's smiling and nodding.

Speaker 2: 18:58

Oh, that's a good tip. That's a good tip, I like.

Speaker 1: 19:00

I appreciate those people. Just give me one and the two minutes, the of nervousness goes away. Now what if there isn't anyone? Like that, it's kind of like trickery. So if you're in my audience and I'm smiling at you and I'm connecting you with you, I contact. Typically they mirror, yeah, right. So then, okay, you've become my focal point, because now we've connected and you're smiling back at me.

Speaker 2: 19:28

But let's be clear on something Very rarely will you ever have an audience and no one is smiling, no one is trying to engage.

Speaker 1: 19:36

Well, except when you sing the song wrong the whole time maybe.

Speaker 2: 19:40

Well, I couldn't look at anybody in the eye after I said it. I was like, oh yeah.

Speaker 1: 19:44

I can imagine that extreme tunnel you know, I don't know what it's called when everything is like slowly coming to a fade to block.

Speaker 2: 19:52

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 19:53

Yes. That's exactly what it was. I know exactly what you're talking about. Oh, All right, so present moment focus Just to what we were saying, not to worry about future outcomes. Be in right here right now.

Speaker 2: 20:10

What am I?

Speaker 1: 20:11

saying right now what am I getting across, how am I being authentic, what are my values? And go back to that, go back to your purpose and I promise you find your way back. You find your way being centered right there in front of everybody.

Speaker 2: 20:31

Right, and can I add something too, please? So I think it's important to share this aspect of it, because after that horrific disaster yeah, I was an aggressive, angry, intentional singer. From that point on, like whatever I did was like I was fighting the fight of my life, because I knew there was a lot of judgment and ridicule put towards me and I wasn't gonna give up. It took me about a year and a half to two years to get past that and then begin to operate as myself, normally again. But that's what you'll find when you have a disaster or you have a situation where it's put you in a certain corner. You may not show up the same way for a little while.

Speaker 1: 21:27

But that's okay.

Speaker 2: 21:28

It's not a bad thing. You're just learning how to again course correct because you don't know how this is gonna affect you. You don't know how this is gonna affect others. So sometimes you alter things to a point to where it's palatable for yourself first. Don't give up because you're like man, I can't get out of this mode where I'm this way or that way. Just keep pushing and trying and altering as you go along.

Speaker 1: 21:55

I really appreciate that reality, that one to two years of just going through it. A friend of mine posted over the weekend and she said you've got to. I don't want to misquote her, but it was something like you've got to go through it to get through it.

Speaker 2: 22:18

Go through it to get to it. Okay, yeah, say it again you got to go through it to get to it Go through it to get through it.

Speaker 1: 22:26

Is that your thing, mm-mm. Oh, through it to get to it.

Speaker 2: 22:30

No, she used through twice. Oh, okay, so she was saying go through it to get through it, to get through it, you got to go through it.

Speaker 1: 22:36

Oh, okay, right, even better.

Speaker 2: 22:38

I'll take both of those.

Speaker 1: 22:40

And I just love that concept, because to use through twice is saying there's really no alternate here. You've got to experience those things, gotcha.

Speaker 2: 22:50

Right.

Speaker 1: 22:52

And, like you said, just keep going at it. And so that was judgment coming from other people, and there's also such a thing as self-judgment, oh yeah.

Speaker 2: 23:01

Oh, yeah, I put myself through the wringer man. I was like you know, and how could you? And you've seen what was going on and you didn't do anything.

Speaker 1: 23:11

Yeah, I went all the way in on myself and let's talk about what that is long-term. This is what excites me. This is when an experience becomes the thing that takes you to the next level, because when you go through something like that, you now, because you're going through it to get through it, you're taking creative risks, right, and those creative risks can lead to breakthrough and full expression. And that's what's important when anyone wants to use their voice. By the way part, I think not.

Speaker 1: 23:49

I think our slogan for the Genco Sound Company is make some noise, and that's usually a negative comment that people say oh, it's just noise, and we've said that sometimes that's what you have to make so people hear you, right. So that's why we say that. But people make noise and they're at that level because they haven't been allowed to fully express themselves and people have not listened to them to try to understand them, right. So when you have these creative risks and you go through breakthrough, you're fully expressed, and I get excited saying that, because I don't know if you've experienced that where you're like man, I really just want and we'll do something real simple, we'll just do something really simple. You wanna lead a meeting or you want to lead a team building activity? Whatever it is right and it's in you and you go through this.

Speaker 1: 24:52

I can't do this because of this. I'm not a good speaker, I don't command attention. You know, I'm quiet, I'm an introvert. No, I don't think I should do this. So you battle that and you do it and you just get through it and let's say, you make a bunch of mistakes everywhere. When you get through all that and you realize I did it, I actually did it, and it just starts becoming this thing and there is a freedom, there is this amazing breakthrough when you face the fear and the doubt and you just get through it.

Speaker 2: 25:30

And the most amazing part for me is, after you've done it a few times, and then more times, and then multiple times, you've built this incredibly strong muscle that's very well defined, very well put together, excuse me, and nothing can stop you at that point.

Speaker 1: 25:50

Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna end with this last tip, corey, and then you can add whatever. Okay, thank you. So this is not my original concept. But, man, when there's something that talks to me and it works, I'm gonna talk about it for the rest of my life. And I actually got to meet the author. His name is Chad Littlefield, and it was a pleasure. I was taking notes as I was meeting with him, because he's just one of those people that when he speaks, there's wisdom and it's fun wisdom, right, it's very relatable. So him and his partner, business partner, said connection before content. And if you're listening to this episode and if you have to hold on to one thing, this is what I encourage you to hold on to.

Speaker 1: 26:38

When you become so consumed with the thing that you're trying to do, those things can be very overwhelming. In fact, from my opinion, that's what causes me anxiety, because I'm trying to go through my outline, I'm making sure I wanna hit all these points, I'm making sure that my technique is flawless, I'm using amazing body language, I'm delivering these lines and these hard hitting points. It's a lot to think about. But when I go up there and I say, jen, connect with your audience before content. Content? Who cares about? Like connect, and if you can do that, it won't really matter. If you're not hitting these one liners hard, if you didn't deliver the way you thought you were, if you missed a part of your outline, because you're connected, people are there with you. It's this symbiotic, synergistic type of feeling and it's just. The experience is like no other.

Speaker 2: 27:45

So that's the. You just hit the nail on the head. That's the overall takeaway from all aspects of creativity, artistry, whatever it may be. If you make that connection first, the work is really done. At that point.

Speaker 1: 28:02

Isn't it? Yeah, and it starts with connection. It's you connecting to your guests.

Speaker 2: 28:07

And you never disconnect. When you walk off that stage, when you turn off the Zoom meeting, when you finish reading the book, when you finish the conversation with the person, you don't end the connection there. You don't say, okay, now I can disconnect. You remain connected to that and to those people so that the next time you come you don't have to restart the connection and get it going again. It's already there.

Speaker 1: 28:31

That's right. That's right. So this is that elevation that we're talking about. When you wanna get to that level, same thing. It's like the difference between being present and holding space. Being present means you're there and your senses are connected. Holding space, just even in those two words, that's a whole another thing. Yeah, so anyhow, this is what we do.

Speaker 2: 28:57

This is what we love to do. This is what we love to do so.

Speaker 1: 29:02

if you are interested in any way about bringing up your gats, talking about it, seeing what this is like, reach out to Corey and I. We'd love to work with you. And yeah, it sounds like a plug-in for our business, but anyone who knows us knows that we live this. We breathe, live, it love it.

Speaker 2: 29:26

We don't treat our relationships like business. We treat them like relationships.

Speaker 1: 29:31

Yeah, this is good. I needed this for the end of the year because 2024, people have big goals. People wanna be in massive flow. This is the time to have these conversations. It's the time to bring them out.

Speaker 2: 29:45

Yeah, better time, not the present.

Speaker 1: 29:46

Yeah, just do it, just be, just give what you are to people who need to receive it. Yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah. Well, you know us to take the elevator. We say look up and let's elevate Every day, elevate Every day, elevate Every day, elevate Every day.