312th Floor: Stepping Beyond Constraints to a Year of Empowerment
Jan 15, 2024
GentheBuilder and Kory
Freedom and enslavement are words typically bound to history books, but in our conversation, they're anything but antiquated concepts. You'll join us on a deep and personal exploration of the many forms of modern bondage, from the invisible chains of mental constraints to the all-too-real struggles against financial debt. We'll peel back the layers of how these various forms of captivity can both restrict us and drive us towards collective liberation, sharing our own battles and the sense of compulsion that often holds us in place. It's a journey that many of us are on, and we're opening up the dialogue to better understand and navigate the road to true freedom.
In our final reflection, we confront the pressures and patterns that society expects us to fit into. We're not just talking about staying alert to the dangers of complacency; we're also offering up our commitment to raising awareness about the metaphorical shackles that lie in wait, from consumer debt to screen addictions. It's a call to action for our listeners to approach the new year armed with wisdom, prepared for the conversations that matter, and ready to build those meaningful connections that elevate us all. Join us on this episode of Take the Elevator as we commit to navigating the complexities of life together.
Freedom and enslavement are words typically bound to history books, but in our conversation, they're anything but antiquated concepts. You'll join us on a deep and personal exploration of the many forms of modern bondage, from the invisible chains of mental constraints to the all-too-real struggles against financial debt. We'll peel back the layers of how these various forms of captivity can both restrict us and drive us towards collective liberation, sharing our own battles and the sense of compulsion that often holds us in place. It's a journey that many of us are on, and we're opening up the dialogue to better understand and navigate the road to true freedom.
In our final reflection, we confront the pressures and patterns that society expects us to fit into. We're not just talking about staying alert to the dangers of complacency; we're also offering up our commitment to raising awareness about the metaphorical shackles that lie in wait, from consumer debt to screen addictions. It's a call to action for our listeners to approach the new year armed with wisdom, prepared for the conversations that matter, and ready to build those meaningful connections that elevate us all. Join us on this episode of Take the Elevator as we commit to navigating the complexities of life together.
My, it's so strange. You know, I wrote it a couple of times just to practice it, because of what I was realizing is that my mind was literally still in 2023. And so I needed to just finally shift into knowing, ok, this is a new year, there are new things happening, we're doing different things on the podcast, in life, and so, yeah, that helps. And every time I hear it, I'm like, yep, it is 2024. 2024 mindset.
GentheBuilder:
It's interesting how the transition was different for me. I had no problems writing 2024. I think I was practicing to write it even in 2023, because I was so excited about it.
Kory:
I agree. I just think sometimes, and if you know what I've been going through, you get a little stuck because it got good to you. So you just thought, oh man, I can stay here for a little bit longer. But you know there are big things and good things coming in 2024.
GentheBuilder:
So and I love that for you Because, again, in opposition to that, my year of 2023 has really just been one of waiting and preparing. And when you're in that mindset, you're like what am I preparing for? Again, because it's so quiet, it's way too still. I don't know if this is the direction I'm supposed to go in. So there's all these questions about am I on the right path? Right? And that's where I was at and something just said trust this.
GentheBuilder:
Like your whole life, pretty much, there have been things that you've done that you knew were supposed to be a thing and it didn't make sense at the time. And all things come together. All things come together and I'm going to say 2024. And I know, like everyone's saying, oh, it's our year, it's your year, it's when your gifts give back, it's when all the answers are going to be revealed, and I really hope for everyone. That's true. But what I will say on my behalf is that's no lie, corey. I was looking at my planner, right? You know that's something I brought back into my life as an actual physical planner. I've been doing digital and that's been great, but you know me, I've got to go back and forth and toggle and do all that stuff.
Kory:
Yeah, you're the old school, the scratch and sniff to have the paper that pens it, it's so, it's so, everything to me.
GentheBuilder:
So what I love about seeing the planner in person is like you just look at your days right and how they're filling up connections, you've made moments that have been shared, things that were surprised, and you just think I can plan all I want, but I have real, no real control of things that happen. And so I touch the pages just imagining what is going to happen, and that excites me because what I'm finding in my planner is I'm actually going back and saying, okay, this is how this connected, or this was the answer to my question in 2023. So right now, it's just this amazing coming together, infusion of things that I didn't have in 2023.
Kory:
You know right? No, I totally get it and I totally hear what you're saying. No-transcript. I actually had a planner purchased for me by a friend of mine, and I'll get into that in just a little bit.
Kory:
But so let me tell you this I was in a meeting with three different people and we were talking and I don't wanna say their names because I don't know if they wanna be mentioned on the podcast. But I was at work and this meeting was taking place and I mentioned oh man, I don't have a planner because mine is coming up to be extinct.
GentheBuilder:
Right, it's expired. Yeah, it's expired. Yes.
Kory:
And so the three individuals said, oh, that's sad you didn't buy another one. And I was like, no, not yet. And so they ordered me one right there on the spot.
GentheBuilder:
I didn't know that story. That's amazing.
Kory:
It is amazing and it was so refreshing. But that segues me into another situation that I was just thinking about. The last time we did the podcast was last week, but we were a little bit foggy.
GentheBuilder:
It was the last week it felt like two, three weeks ago.
Kory:
Oh my maybe so I don't know. It's been a weird couple of weeks to transition for me personally, but I miss it and I miss my friends. I miss the people that interact with us. I miss the Lydias and the Glorias and the Edens and all the people that would send love our way. I'm feeling like man. Did I disconnect at some point? Or am I just that busy right now? But yeah, I'm welcoming all those people back, all those feelings back, so that we can get back in our groove.
GentheBuilder:
Yeah, that's a way to set an intention and that's a whole other topic, because intentions are powerful.
GentheBuilder:
So I agree with what you've intended to have happen here on Take the Elevator.
GentheBuilder:
And then for me too is I know we've been doing this, corey, for over three years and I'm gonna say it makes sense that sometimes, just like on a road trip, you veer off or you pause because there's something happening, there's a detour or we're yielding to something else, right, so we've done that on the podcast being very authentic and real about our lives, really.
GentheBuilder:
So I know this year we've talked about how we want to really make sure that you right now you are listening can get an elevated message from what we're sharing. So the question is is what is something that is gonna help you in your life? Maybe not today, because we don't know what's going on, but just in life general, or it could be something that, a nugget, you can give to someone in your life. So we'd love to keep you, we'd love for you to share this podcast, and that is our intention this year. And we know, as Corey and Jen the builder, that we get excited over things that happen in our lives, and so, of course, those are gonna come up because you all are friends, so we share that with you.
GentheBuilder:
Everything, yeah, everything, but let's go ahead, corey. I love that you're producing this show and it's very spontaneous, as it always is. Tell us about what we can expect today.
Kory:
Oh well we can expect quite a bit. Actually, you know we're approaching Black History Month, and so there are some topics that I love to tackle during that time. But then you know there's this topic that would seem like it's related to that, but it really isn't, because it's just related to all people in different time, eras and spaces, and we don't typically look at it like this because a lot of times it's associated to just Black people. But this is not a Black thing, this is not a race thing as far as a particular race. I think the human race has all experienced some form of slavery, some form of being enslaved, and I just wanna tackle that real quick, because you know I'm gonna go deep and I wanna go deep.
Kory:
It's not that I'm accidentally stumbling into this area. I really would like to open our minds to how to become free, how to experience true freedom and sometimes freedom exists on many different planes being spiritually, mentally, emotionally, sometimes even sexually, and then we're not gonna get into detail with that, so if you got little ones in the room, don't worry, I'm not gonna go crazy with that, but I'm sure they've heard that word before. And then the emotional freedom and just really exploring that once you've been enslaved to something or someone, be it your spouse, your mate, your captor, your feelings, your addictions, but just knowing that you've been through something that made you feel enslaved, and how it felt to break away and experience freedom for the first time, be it for a short time or a long period of time. So that's where we're going, jen.
GentheBuilder:
So I'm excited to go there because there's a word that has come up for me this year to actually freedom and independence. So I think this is really gonna speak to me and I'm really, really looking forward to what's gonna come up.
Kory:
Yeah. So my question to you, gen, is how familiar are you with the word enslaved, and what does that mean to you personally?
GentheBuilder:
Sure. Well, the word itself there's a couple of things going on right now in my mind is it's almost like not a word to say there. For me there are other ways to say that word, because it's so associated with black history and what's happened to the people right. So it's like, oh, I don't want to use that word. It almost makes me feel like I'm taking away from that whole experience. But I understand the importance of this word and if we can just pause real quick.
Kory:
you know, we know that other people have been enslaved. Other people have my people yeah. Yeah, have experienced slavery, and it's not. No one has the market on that word and I definitely don't try to save it, you know, oh, no one else can experience this, because they don't know what my people have been through. This is not one of those types of situations and when we get exclusive like that, we might get into some big troubling territory.
GentheBuilder:
Yeah, so yeah, I'm glad that came up because there might be people feeling like I did initially. So what I think it means to be enslaved is pretty much to be limited from my own liberty and my agency, so my ability to choose. It feels like when I think of being enslaved to something I'm almost like compelled to work, obey or endure conditions that are against my will.
GentheBuilder:
Right Cause, that's how strongly I feel about that word Right, or I think of things in my past where I was under the control or domination of something else other than me, Right?
Kory:
So in that moment that you felt like something was so dominant and dominating over you that it would have a feeling of like man, I am literally being enslaved to this particular thought, this particular person, this particular act. What was the binding thing that was holding you there?
GentheBuilder:
Oh, the fact that there was, there's a feeling of I need this.
Kory:
Right.
GentheBuilder:
I'm stuck in it. So I'll give a very real example and it's one of my goals this year is financial freedom. Right, I think a lot of people can feel me on this. There's that financial pressure of debt, what you spend your money on the pursuit of financial stability, what people define it as, as we're aging, we're into our fifties, like what does retirement look like for us? So that is very enslaving and when I think of that in that way, like it takes pages on my journal, it takes time in my mind, you know.
Kory:
Yeah.
GentheBuilder:
Yeah, it's like. I gotta pay this and this is the plan, and you know, and we can't do that. You know that kind of way.
Kory:
It's weird that you even said that, and I didn't think you were going to go there. I honestly thought you were going to go somewhere totally different.
GentheBuilder:
Oh, I've got other things, but yeah, that's a big one in mind.
Kory:
Yeah, but, like I said, it's interesting because that is to tell you the truth. That is the new slavery. Debt is the ultimate new slavery, because you cannot get out if you don't know how, right, if you haven't been taught which a lot of us have not been taught how to get out of debt, how to get away from state not get in debt period Right. How to just stay away from the purchase. Stop being the buyer or the consumer and being the seller.
GentheBuilder:
It's interesting that the word is consumer. Yeah, when you really think about what it does. I don't know if you, the listener, have been in a situation where you're consumed by consuming Right.
Kory:
So you're the consumer is being consumed oh my, yeah, that's crazy, and so that that's what is happening to a large amount of society. We're just obsessed with the buy.
GentheBuilder:
Yeah, and you know what, gory? I don't know if you've heard anything or read anything on this, but there are things that a lot of people said why is this not being taught in school at an early age, such as stress management, right Self care, including your finances? If you're teaching and educating on life, these are things that should be in school systems. Have you heard anything come out of that?
Kory:
Absolutely that. That's one of the major topics that a small group of me and a few other friends have talks about, and some things can be taught, like you can go to school and learn certain things, but other things have to be. What's a better way to say you walk someone through it step by step, because it's not a teaching, it's not something that you can lecture on. You can't take an economics class and understand how to manage a bank account or say for a rainy day, or maybe even say for a retirement plan, if you don't have a traditional job. So there are certain steps that have to be taken in order to get to that next step of financial freedom.
GentheBuilder:
Well, you know me, I think one of the greatest solutions in things like that especially maybe not in high school or anything it could be, but coaching, yeah. Coaching is a beautiful thing because it's individual to you, but anyhow, that's, yeah, that's one of the examples of being enslaved that I think of.
Kory:
Right, and I know people are probably like say more, say more, tell us more. Well, there's a lot to say about that, but I don't want to just make this all about financial freedom. I definitely want to touch on some of the other forms of bondage, slavery and being put in a position where you feel like something else or someone else is in control. You want to give one more example before I jump in there.
GentheBuilder:
Sure, I mean, there's so many and I'm going to make it a little personal, okay and so, yes, there's a very real thing to being enslaved to your habits, and I'm particularly talking about your bad habits.
GentheBuilder:
Okay, and that could be the battle that I've had with eating, making not healthy choices at times, you know, and just feeling like I'm on the seesaw of, like I'm up, I'm good, I'm doing great, and then I have that one down moment and it's like dang it, you know, and so you just feel enslaved like sugar. Hello, I'm gonna be honest, I was-.
Kory:
It's a real thing.
GentheBuilder:
Yes, I was with my people yesterday and that dessert was amazing, and we started talking about how you just have that one moment of giving into sugar and then it's like have another piece and another piece, and so, yeah, what happens there is. You just are totally out of control.
Kory:
Right, yeah, like I said, it's a real thing and I've been on that wagon, I've been on that train and it's a vicious cycle because, once your body starts craving sugar and craving carbs, and craving, and craving, and craving, before you know it, you're like I can't get enough.
Kory:
I just need one more, and one more. And one more turns into another, and into another and before you know it, you're just like I can't stop doing this. I'm waking up eating carbs and sweets, I'm going to bed eating carbs and sweets and it's a part of my everyday lifestyle. Now.
GentheBuilder:
Yeah, and that's a part of the makeup of it, right? You're always gonna need it because your energy source runs low, because it doesn't give you a full energy source.
Kory:
No, and then it drops you off.
GentheBuilder:
Yeah, and I think that one of the things, too, that is so worth mentioning is that, when it comes to things that we find ourselves in slave to, it's important to recognize that not only is there physiological aspects of this, there's psychological, emotional, mental, sometimes spiritual, you know. And so again, corey, you and I have always said if this is something that chronically shows up in your life, man, we really, really emphasize the importance of support and getting the right kind of help.
Kory:
Right, yeah, because this conversation is not gonna solve anyone's problem. This is just a reflection, right, it's an open conversation that we're having between ourselves that we're hoping that someone can possibly hear and say you know what? I might have struggled with that at some point in time. Right, and go a little bit deeper into that. I wanna talk about a particular part of enslavement that is not comfortable for a lot of people, okay, and it takes you to a place where a lot of people just don't really wanna go. They like to stay quiet about it, and that's child sex slavery. And the reason why that's such a huge issue in my mind is because we don't wanna talk about it. We don't wanna have those uncomfortable conversations, not only with ourselves in public or even behind closed doors, but especially with children that could possibly be being tortured and enslaved into this. Let me just throw out a couple of numbers. You know it's like 800,000 kids that go missing every year.
GentheBuilder:
Is that nation world?
Kory:
I believe that's nation Wow. And only 80 are recovered. And I looked this up about four or five years ago, so the numbers could have drastically increased or drastically decreased. So that told me right then, when I looked that up, that all these kids aren't being looked for. There's a problem, there's a huge problem. And we have three. Well, they're not kids anymore, but you remember how protective I was over our kids, like we were. Well, when I say I was, there was a moment when you were working and I was playing, mr Mom.
GentheBuilder:
Right, yes, yes.
Kory:
And so I had to walk them part way to school. Sometimes to school I also sit outside while they were playing. Make sure that you know there was no craziness going on in the neighborhood. And then you know it was up to me to say okay, it's time to come in or I'll give you another 30 minutes to be outside playing with your friends. And sometimes in the neighborhood there were people walking through and like who is that and what's going on? Sometimes cars will pull up and ask the kids questions and I'm like excuse me, what's going on? What do you need? And they're like oh, I was just wondering if this was so-and-so's house, like no, it's not their house, you know, keep it moving.
Kory:
But the thing is is that every parent is not like that. Every parent doesn't have that ability to have a Mr Mom sitting at home watching every move and trying to be there every waking moment. And even in that, I wasn't there 100%, you know, sometimes I had to go inside and go to the bathroom, or you know. So I would be lying if I said, oh, I was 100% the watchdog of the neighborhood. But there's always those moments when you get caught slipping. Yeah, the population of children that are at threat and are in danger is astronomical.
Kory:
Something else came up. A friend of mine told me. He said hey, man, I want you to be aware of something. If you ever see a teenage girl or a young adult woman get into her car and she has a zip tie on her back door, that means she's being targeted and someone has put a zip tie to let their people know To the flag yeah, this is somebody that you can capture and possibly do the slavery thing, the sex slave thing, and so it's those kind of pointers and tips that it's important for us to talk about, not be afraid to talk about, not be afraid to mention it, because I guarantee you, there's people out there that's hearing this and going wait, wait, what I had no idea. So I always encourage people to look things up for themselves so that they can be aware of what's going on, and we have a lot of friends that have children, have young adult women, children in their households, and these are just important things to be aware of and to be conscious of.
GentheBuilder:
Yeah, I think that's a really good point too, because there are things that are so taboo right that we don't talk about it. It's almost as if we talk about it, we're inviting it into our lives, not true. In fact, it's exact opposite. People have asked us and I say this humbly you know, hey, how did your kids end up to be the way they are, and especially people in my past looking me like, especially because I know how you were right. So here's the total truth is you have conversations with your kids?
Kory:
About the things that are happening.
GentheBuilder:
And you let them know how wicked this world can be and that there are people who mean. So here's another thing, and you may not agree with me on this, but that's why I don't like these statements and I live with them all the time because of my career. Like everyone's got good intentions, trust that everyone's got good intentions. I'm gonna say here, on this podcast, on to elevate you no, they don't, no, they don't. And that's why you have to use wisdom in these things. You have to have forewarn the people that you care about, you love, and they will pass the word on things that are real. Like I encourage you, sit down with your child, and this is not a scare tactic, it's a real tactic, it's just real.
GentheBuilder:
There are 800,000 kids missing every year and you are not gonna be one of them, because I love you too much for that to happen and I need you in my life. People need you in their lives and here's how we're gonna prevent it. And so just know that music influences that. Be aware of people who are in your children's lives, because kids love mentors, kids love looking up to people. They crave that, they desire that. So someone who's actually gonna tell them stuff. Kids like to be told things, they want information.
GentheBuilder:
They do so who better to give it than you?
Kory:
Yeah, and Jen and I in our past we were leaders in a youth group and we had an opportunity to work very close with kids and we not only taught our kids how to be aware and how to look out for the red flags that society sometimes present. We taught those kids the same thing and we were very adamant about not scaring them but preparing them for the unusual circumstance or unusual situation that could pop up. And I thought at the time they're gonna go home and tell their parents which they did and then their parents are gonna come up here which they did, which they did, and question us which they did. And as they questioned us, we were very prepared to answer every question thoroughly, because that's just how much it meant to me, because that's how much it meant to my parents.
GentheBuilder:
Yes, and so what I learned in that time period, too, is the importance and the impact of asking questions Because we can and where I learned this from you we can parent by saying because I said so, do as I say, not as I do, or whatever we say there. It's so important to have dialogue with your children because they make decisions. It doesn't matter how old they are. People don't make decisions starting at 18. They're making decisions early on in life.
Kory:
Two and three years old To go touch the stove when it's hot.
GentheBuilder:
So get curious about what's peaking their curiosity right there you go, oh man.
Kory:
The one thing that Jen and I always talked about as adults and when we had kids is and this is important not just in the home, but in the grocery store, in the mall, when all their friends are in the back seat together. If it gets too quiet, you need to go find out, so true, what's going on, because that's when it's.
GentheBuilder:
Yeah, don't equate that to peace of mind.
Kory:
Like oh, this is great, they're so quiet.
Kory:
Thank, God they're finally settling down. No, they're finally getting into something. And that's the moment that you need to go in the room. You need to turn the corner in the mall, you need to turn around in the back, look in the back seat like, hey, what's going on back there? What's going on in there? And you guys are all for quiet back there.
Kory:
My mom made sure that we knew that she was watching us at all times, and there is any given moment my mom could pop into the room without a notice and you weren't gonna hear her. She was just gonna be there and you're like oh, there's mom. And so the thing that I learned as a kid is when I had friends over and they thought, oh, we could do this. No, no, no, we can't do that here. You might be able to get away with that at your house, but my parents will not. As soon as we get quiet, they're gonna start lurking around and even if we're noisy, they wanna know what are they into. And so it passed on to me, and I'm sure we've passed that on to our children as well. I know it didn't sound like it was directly tied to being enslaved or into bondage, but that's what it could lead to if we let our guard down.
GentheBuilder:
Right and so yeah, that would be one of the worst situations right, yeah, absolutely. And there is in slavery, in so many things video games, things that we're watching, things that we're consuming, even as children, right.
GentheBuilder:
So I think you've done a really good job where you're just covering the whole gambit and shaking it up, because even when you said child sex slavery, I'm like, oh, yeah, they look on your face and they're like he didn't wanna tell me about this one, but that's what I really appreciate is that openness to hear what other people are saying and not jump the gun on what this is, because that's so important, as we're talking about the new year and things like that. Let's go in with wisdom, let's go in prepared, let's go in not avoiding conversations that need to happen.
Kory:
Not avoiding the obvious.
GentheBuilder:
Yes, yes, you brought it, mr Mom. Actually, I'm gonna do a little thing to you too, and let people know what they can expect the next episode. A lot of people don't know that side of our lives, corey, where you were, mr Mom, and what that looks like and how. In society, that's a role reversal which, by the way, is another form of being enslaved, being stuck to what societal norms are right, and so that's another thing. Just the society and the expectations, the pressures to conform to what they think. Is it what they think it's supposed to be?
Kory:
Yeah, this is very true and I like it. I love it as a matter of fact, because I love that story.
GentheBuilder:
Yeah, me too. We can't wait to share it with you. Hey, hope you love this episode and that it elevated you, because we truly care about you, your lives, your growth, your development. And please know that Corey and I are your friends and we are contactable. I don't know if that's a word.
Kory:
That's definitely a word today.
GentheBuilder:
So show me email gen, the builder at Gmail. And, yeah, let's get in touch, let's form connections, and if it's just through you listening, we appreciate that so much.
Kory:
Yeah, I mean, we get it. Some people don't wanna do the talking, they just wanna listen, and so we're here for that too.
GentheBuilder:
Yeah, share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. We believe it's a message it needs to get out. Well, you know what's it? Take the elevator. We say look up and let's elevate Every day. Elevate, hey, every day. Elevate, hey, elevate, hey, every day, elevate, hey, every day.