Take the Elevator
This podcast is purely about elevating people through individual life stories and experiences in the Elevator. In the Elevator, what's key is maybe changing your perspective; having self-actualization; embracing your purpose; and acting on it as we grow from one another. There is a whole different point of view when you look up to elevate.
Take the Elevator
384th Floor: Holiday Grief, Gentle Growth
The mics are back on and so are our hearts. After a brief pause, we’re catching you up on a season that blended creative momentum with honest conversations about grief, memory, and what it means to keep elevating when the holidays press on tender places.
We sat with the complexity of the season. Gen reflects on training with grief educator David Kessler and how it reframed loss from something to close to something to integrate. We talk about the difference between moving on and moving forward, and how remembering becomes a daily practice that carries our people with us.
We offer practical language for supporting someone who’s grieving—less fixing, more listening—and a reminder to give and receive freely. Come for the creative behind-the-scenes, stay for the honest, hopeful tools to navigate holidays, legacy, and everyday courage with a little more light.
If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review to help more people find our community. Look up, and let's elevate!
Every day, elevate. Every day. Elevate. Every day.
SPEAKER_00:Elevate. Hey, it's Jen the Builder.
SPEAKER_02:And Corey.
SPEAKER_00:And we are back on the elevator, and it's so good to be here with you all.
SPEAKER_02:We are definitely back on the elevator, and we've been gone for what, two weeks now?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Even though we've had such a great time, I kind of feel Corey, it's where those two things happen at the same time where we're having a blast. And chaos is probably a hard word. Right. Harsh. But it's busy. Very busy. It's continuous. It's ongoing. It's like. It's steady. Oh, steady's good.
SPEAKER_02:Consistent is good. Yeah. And and but I can also say it's stable. So it's not like Jen said, it's not chaos and it's not out of control. It's just very stable and steady.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And I'm going to say it's a blessing for sure. Sonny, be careful what you asked for. Um, and we've been building up to this, and doors are just opening. And but we just want to say, man, we've missed the podcasting. And I feel like, Corey, we're gonna catch them up because these people are friends. This is how we keep in touch with them. Yeah. So start us off. Like, what's good?
SPEAKER_02:So we took some time and did a festival with uh autism.
SPEAKER_00:I mean empathy.
SPEAKER_02:Empathy for autism, California.
SPEAKER_00:Yes.
SPEAKER_02:And let me tell you, that was such a blast. I had so much fun, so much uh information and knowledge was gained during that time. And uh we met some really good friends, and they're gonna be lifelong lasting.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it was also in beautiful Temecula. Oh, yeah. So, like we were literally in front of a vineyard, like that was our background. Uh, and we did meet some amazing people. One that really stood out to me um was Super Jared. Super Jared. Uh, if you don't know who he is, please follow him on Instagram. He's a great guy, an artist. He creates amazing work. Um, and we were just so pleased to be next to him because he sings. And I'm like, Corey, this guy is pitch perfect.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, man.
SPEAKER_00:And so just so many talent there, so much talent there. But definitely, we want to give a special shout out to Carla and just her group of people. By the way, guys, one of our books that's coming out soon is in partnership with Um Empathy for Autism California. And so we can't wait to build that character. So much good is coming, which I just gotta say, I just woke up real quick because we did a very, very low-key soft launch at our company's winter boutique.
SPEAKER_02:Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_00:Say more, say more, please. And I was so proud to have all five of our books on that table. And right in the center was our new book, BJ Woodpecker.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, and I have to go back just a little bit, Jim, because you know, that was no easy feat. We jumped through some hoops to get that done on time for that boutique. And uh, thanks to uh MX Graphics uh for getting that book printed up for us and taking care of us as well as they did. And yes, we had to run to a couple of different places, but it was so worth it. And the outcome and turnout was amazing.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, so that is someone that we're gonna put a plug-in for right now. Corey, you and I were talking about, we realize the great group of people that we get to work with to make things like this happen. Yeah. And so MX Graphics, they are in the city of industry. City of industry, yeah. And the owner operator type guy is Jose. Right. And so please look them up for all your printing needs. I mean, there is, I don't think there's anything that they can't do. And they're so timely, and their customer service is impeccable. So shout out to MX.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, if you need a brochure, a business card, uh a cardboard cutout, any kind of backdrop, any kind of um notification, flyer, brochure, a booklet, a book, flags, whatever you need. They do it. Alls of it. And they do it well, all of it, yes. One more shout out, maybe a couple more, but uh thank you, Vanessa, for getting all the illustrations to us. Um, that was a lifesaver, and and it came in clutch.
SPEAKER_00:Man, and they're so vibrant.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, all the colors are just amazing.
SPEAKER_00:And I want to pause here to say something so important. So, as we're growing in the community, and I say that anything that you use as a tool to get your written book out there, amazing. More power to you. I also love the fact that we use Vanessa, our illustrator, and there is a difference in the artwork. Um, and so she is standing out in these book fairs and these events that we're going to because her artwork is clearly done by human, vibrant. Um, she captures the character so well.
SPEAKER_02:The characters, the storyline, the essence, everything. She just uh does such an amazing job. And yeah, you could catch her on Google at Lightning Bug Studios, or just look her up by Vanessa Montano, and she is again one of the most incredible illustrators in the market today.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, yes. Um, we acquired a plushie maker, Jen. Oh, we did, we did, unbeknownst to us. Um, I'm gonna give it some context.
SPEAKER_02:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:So unfortunately, our former plushie maker is also Vanessa, and we just adore her, and she's pursuing big things in her life, like you know, school. So because the quality of her work is so great, it's hard to find a replacement. It really was. And so we just finally took a step back and said, we're gonna meet this person when it's time, and until then, here's our plushies on the table, and those are not for sale, right? Which is so hard because people love the plushies, and they're saying, I really want that one.
SPEAKER_02:Like, oh, sorry, we're not selling that one.
SPEAKER_00:I was like starting at$1,000, maybe. Maybe, maybe. So, anyways, we were at the winter boutique, and this was just last week, and Corey, I love that we have our routine. So, Corey has become the guy that surfs and walks around the whole event. He makes his friends, he makes his contacts, he comes back, he tells me like the outstanding ones that he's met and how he thinks like we're gonna work with them or what this looks like for networking or just building relationships. And so that starts us off. Corey comes back at the beginning of the event, he says, Jen, I think I found I found our plushie maker. And um I'm that guy. Yeah, exactly. And so while we're doing um the boutique, I think right after she came over, and there is so much that we have in common with her, and her work is so good.
SPEAKER_02:So good and very cute, if I can use that word.
SPEAKER_00:It is, yeah, very, very cute. So we're excited, we're gonna see what happens there. She's got our books, and we're just gonna start collaborating. But what an amazing way to end 2025. It's not quite over, but it's just those check, check, check, you know. And so through all the things that we've done, I've realized how important it is to be available and willing and to just push. Yeah, push, push, push because you just never know what you're gonna miss out on. Like, had we not been there, done that, we wouldn't have met Amy, you know?
SPEAKER_02:Right. No, it's very true. And uh we're we've become proponents for um just being consistent and and making sure we're we're where we're supposed to be when we're supposed to be there. And that includes here on the podcast and take the elevator. Fortunately, we can record at a later date or miss a day and come back at another time and still be right where we need to be.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, exactly. So I think one of the messages, if I if I may, to our friends and fellow elevators is I'm gonna couple this with something real quick. Currently, I'm taking a grief educator course, and it has rocked my world because to put it simply, I'm living every day knowing that dying is a part of my life, death is a part of what's happening, right? And it puts a different mindset on things, like even taking a risk on talking to another author and saying, Yes, there's this project I want to work on, or taking a risk and saying, I'm gonna go ahead and reach out to this major network and just put ourselves out there and see if they're interested.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_00:Right. Or I love Corey, just your courage every day on the beautiful things that you're posting on LinkedIn and the connections you're making everywhere. It has really helped me to say this isn't really that big of a deal. And I get to do this, and so I'm just gonna go with it. It's not harming anyone, it's not, you know, it's not that serious. Just try it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So I love how a grief educator course is teaching me more about how to live my life.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I agree, Jen. And I've seen such tremendous growth in you since you started this class and uh the knowledge and information that you're, you know. Of course, whenever we go through something as individuals in our relationship, Jen and I, we definitely tell each other and help educate and grow each other in that. So I've grown quite a bit myself, you know, just knowing what you've been going through. Jen, holidays are coming. Yes, and this is one of those times of the year that is really tough for a lot of people, and it brings back some really tough memories, and it brings back some really great memories. And so where we can focus on some of the tough memories, we're going to marinate and and just really drown ourselves in some of the really great memories. And I'm gonna start that off, and then I'm gonna ask you to jump on.
SPEAKER_00:Can I ask you real quick what you mean by tough memories versus good memories?
SPEAKER_02:So, you know, um I didn't want to jump into that just yet, but I will just to give a little bit of an understanding. So um some people have lost loved ones during the holiday season. Uh, some of those losses came at a very high price. Uh the struggle to hold on to life may have been a lot more than some could bear or thought they could bear. So that that would be a tough time, you know. Got it. Um, but I'm gonna start it off and um just talk about this one situation, and I'll never forget it. This is such a a wonderful memory. Uh, if you don't know, I've lost my older sister. She was three years older than me, and I've lost my father um some years ago. And and we don't need to get into those details as of yet. If it's if there's a need, maybe we'll we'll talk about it. But this is about when I was seven or eight years old. I'm outside and I'm playing with my friends. It is December 22nd, December 23rd. And all my friends are older than me, and they're telling me that there is no Santa Claus. Okay, and so I'm just livid. I'm like, you gotta be kidding me. There's gotta be a Santa Claus. I think I even seen him once, right? And so I go home, I cut my day short, and of course it's getting early, uh dark earlier. I cut my day short, I'm headed home because we're on uh vacation. And I bust through the door, mom, dad, is there a Santa Claus? And they know right away, uh-oh. And so I see the look in my dad's eyes, like this is a point where we could really make him or we can break him. And he says, Come here, son. He said, I'm gonna tell you something. I don't care what those kids out there told you, there is no Santa Claus. And I remember that very moment.
SPEAKER_00:How old were you?
SPEAKER_02:Seven or eight years old. I remember feeling the tears just pouring out of my eyes. Like I was so crushed, I was so hurt. I mean, the cartoons I'm watching were Santa Claus's coming to town, Charlie Brown's first Christmas, how the Grinch stole Christmas, and all these are Santa Claus-based. Yeah. And so I thought to myself, how cruel to do this to a kid. And and I'm I'm in my feelings, and I'm very emotional. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks, and I felt that instant kick in my gut, like, but wait, mom and dad have been pulling this off all this time. They've been able to get me all these presents and sign Santa's name. Why would they give him the credit? Why would they go through all those hoops just to make me feel like there's a Santa Claus? And then I realized, like, you know what? It's not that bad of a deal after all. And so that was the first time that I said to myself, I'm good with the truth, I'm good with how things are going. And I was so happy waking up the next day to realize this is what my parents were able to do for me, not Santa Claus.
SPEAKER_00:That's special.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, it was very special. And and I I still get a kick out of it to this day. You know, even the kids telling me that there is no Santa Claus.
SPEAKER_00:So yeah, that's a beautiful memory. Um, I want to share one regarding my dad. And you know what? I've never shared a Christmas memory with him out loud. So, as most of you know, my dad died when I was nine, turning 10 later on that year, and he was my world. We had a Christmas at one of my cousins' homes, and in game Santa Claus, Corey, the whole outfit, but he looked Filipino. And uh and I remember Oh my gosh, that is just great. I remember kid thinking, uh I that's not who I see in pictures. This is really weird, and it just didn't dawn on me that it was my dad, right? But I felt comfortable with him, and I was I was a scary kid. Like anyone new, anyone in costume, I was just frightened.
SPEAKER_01:Same.
SPEAKER_00:Were you really?
SPEAKER_01:Oh my gosh, yes.
SPEAKER_00:So there he was, and then I looked around and was like, where's my dad? So my dad can meet Santa. I just didn't associate that that was my dad because he was in that was Santa.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_00:Right. And looking back, you had mentioned that you realized, man, mom and dad put these gifts together and covered for Santa. Right. You know, I don't remember any gifts that my dad gave me, except one because it was really big and it was this huge Barbie house. But I just remember how I felt during the holidays with him. It felt warm. I remembered his laugh. I'd love to sit next to him or just hug him and cuddle him. And one of my favorite memories, because he laughed so much when he was around family, was I would put my ear up against his chest so I could hear his laughter.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So it wasn't, it's very much tied to being with him. So yeah, and I never just shared, I never shared that out loud.
SPEAKER_02:That's a great story, Jen. I I appreciate that because if my dad had dressed up in Santa Claus, first and foremost, I would have known. Second of all, I'd have been like, if you don't take that costume off. It was hilarious. Man, oh man.
SPEAKER_00:It was hilarious. I just I think my world was rocked because I was like, it just doesn't look like the Santa I've seen, but I quickly got over that. Um, so all this to say, there's so many memories tied to the holidays with our loved ones who are no longer here.
SPEAKER_02:Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00:And so when you said tough memories, I I think that's what can make it tough, is that you miss them. Yeah. And it's so natural to miss them. Um, and what I love is that here we are today, years and years later for sure, but we still honor their memory. Yep. And we honor the stories that they left behind and how they impacted us and what they mean to us, and we move forward still. We carry them with us, you know, that kind of way. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02:And Jen, you know, as you said that, I just realized, you know, we figure it out and we may not be okay, we may not feel good about it, but we we move on, as you said, and it's important that we figure it out because they would want us to figure it out.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and you know, it's interesting that language, because for people where words are a big deal and it helps them in the process, right? Like moving on versus moving forward, some people feel like moving on means you're leaving them behind.
SPEAKER_02:Oh no, no, they're going right along with me.
SPEAKER_00:Right, right. I'm learning so much, Corey, in this in this class. And um to I took it not to be an educator in it, but because I realized that throughout life, grief and loss looks very different from me. I go way internal, I don't. Connect with people, it's a very sad, lonely place for me as I'm grieving, especially death.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_00:So I realized with some help why that is the way it is for me.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And I just wanted to be comfortable in talking about my grief. And and um that's a big step. Yeah. And this this workshop has really helped. And so I'm I really want to put a plug-in. This is not a paid um sponsorship or anything. And you all might have heard of him already. His name is David Kessler. And I believe he just um was on the Mel Robbins podcast. He was also on Brene Brown's podcast. He just does great grief work worldwide.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And so he has a story. Look him up, find out about him. He's on Instagram, LinkedIn, the whole nine. Um, but it just it's like he says, instead of closure, what about integration? So it's integrating the memories we have into our lives now, understanding and respecting the fact that their story is over and ours continues. And the way I translate that is as I'm moving forward, I'm integrating my dad, my cousin, my daughter still in my life and and honoring them, not forgetting them, and also integrating the fact that sometimes I am gonna cry over my dad. And although it's been over 40 years, it's not unhealthy to cry. Like the standards that people put on how this is how this should look.
SPEAKER_02:And you shouldn't be doing this now. Yeah, it's been far too long, and that's that's exactly what I was gonna talk about, Jen. Everybody deals with this differently, and it's gone, it's going to be in a whole nother time frame for each individual. Um, I I personally have things that I'm trying to do in honor of my father to strengthen, strengthen the leg legacy of his last name, um, of what he started to create, and then what I'm creating. And it's important for me to fulfill some of these things because uh I know he felt like his life was being cut short, and um I don't want to fall into that same category. So whatever I'm able to do while I'm here, I want it to be something that is going to sustain the legacy that he was attempting to establish. And I'm not talking about, you know, uh sainthood or anything like that. I'm talking about just doing something worthwhile while I'm here.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. I really appreciate that because the realization that we are all going to die, right? How I mentioned that earlier, yeah, it really impacts what you do in this life and how you live life. Because I believe the quality of the way you live life is ultimately the quality of your death, if you will. Um unless, of course, something else happens that is not of a natural cause. Right, you know, so legacy is so important. I mean, I used to use that word like haphazardly, but man, it is so important. And then I'm gonna use this one word that I've just been journaling about like crazy because I'm also taking another step in my life that's deepening my my spiritual life, and I just love it is the word remember. There's power in remembering, it's actually said to do this. Like, don't forget the stories of your ancestors and where you come from and what's been done for you, and you know, all these events in your life, and take those with you, but still go forth, conquer, do the thing, yeah, answer the call, live your purpose.
SPEAKER_02:I like it, and remember. I really, really like it. It sounds almost like a a speech before a football game or um like a painting because of Remember the Titans, yeah. Or or maybe even a general right before the war starts. And so it just gives you that moment of a battle cry, and you're just about to go and conquer and take over something or win the game. And and that's always so much better than just sitting back and having that hard thought and then just walk away with your head hung low.
SPEAKER_00:For sure.
SPEAKER_02:I'll take the encouraging pump up and the battle cry anytime.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And so, with that being said, too, because I love that, and then so here's what I want to make sure to say that we've had people in our lives that have had great loss just this year.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And where they're at in their grieving process, a motivational speech may not be what they want, what they need. And so I emphasize the word want because if you're a friend or a family member to that person, the greatest thing that we could do during this time for them is to listen, be present, and not feel like you have to have the right word to say or the solution. Because honestly, the things that you're gonna give them as far as advice, unless they're asking for it, is not gonna stick. They're going through something. So I just spoke to someone very close to me, and she's going through something with her friend, and this friend is somewhat in denial of the disease progression that she's experiencing. It's such a deep, heart-wrenching story. And she asked, What did I do to deserve this? The natural response for us is to say, You didn't do anything, it's part of life. Um, I read an article that there was this young person who also died of the same disease. What did he do to deserve it? Right? It sounds good. It's coming from a place of love and kindness and care and concern. Sometimes the best thing is to understand that people are bringing forward exactly what they need. So if someone is saying, What did I do to deserve this? Try something like that's a deep question, and that's so important. Like, I feel you on that. What did you do to deserve this? Or what what's making you ask that? And just give them that give them that space and just see what comes of it. And and I know it's tough when someone's hurting and you just want to take it away, you want to help them. So that's what I'm gonna say, because of this time of year, we don't know where people are at in the grieving process.
SPEAKER_02:Right. I agree, Jen. Good work, good words, and I hope that lands well with with someone so that they can feel the the possibilities and where the conversation can go.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. And so one of the things as we wrap up the year, if we were to give you a gift, in which we are giving you a gift right now because we care so much about you, is during this time, as you're maybe you're just spreading yourself thin because you're getting presents for everyone, you're decorating, or you're pausing, which is great because you're missing someone that you've lost, or there's a big change in your life, so there's a loss there, is always, always give yourself the gift of taking care of yourself.
SPEAKER_02:Absolutely, yes, yeah. I oh, we can't stress that one enough. Take care of yourself, take care of the ones that are around you. And I don't know if you give gifts or give love or give uh monetary things, but feel free to give freely. I and I'm a big proponent of of just giving freely, give it from your heart, give a hug, give a handshake, you know, and sometimes that changes everything for someone to just know that someone cared enough about me to give me a hug or give me a handshake, a heads up. Hey, how's it going today? Uh, it's just really important to be aware of time of year and and and enjoy what we have left to enjoy.
SPEAKER_00:That's important. Thank you for reminding of reminding us of that.
SPEAKER_01:Freely give and freely receive. Freely receive. I like that too.
SPEAKER_00:Well, you know us that take the elevator. We say, look up and let's elevate every day.
SPEAKER_01:Every day, every day, elevate, every
