Almost Brothers Podcast
Whats up whats up whats up.. welcome to your new favorite podcast. Join your hosts Michael, Richard, and Tyler as we discuss God, church, life, and the journey through this crazy world. Get away from the stresses of life with this podcast. We will be hitting on various topics from sports, to life with Christ.
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Almost Brothers Podcast
Throwback episode: Mental Health Support and Parenting in Today's World
Ever felt like you're always postponing fitness to "Monday," only for Monday to never arrive? You're not alone! We kick off with a laugh about the trials of modern grooming tools and the perpetual cycle of fitness procrastination. Our chat takes a fun twist into the pressures of living healthily when surrounded by those seemingly more disciplined, and we muse on how unexpected home repairs and weather quirks mirror life's unpredictable challenges. Then, Justin from the Dudes in Christ podcast joins us, sharing his triumphs in powerlifting and the art of juggling life's passions, sparking ideas about the value of tailored intro music for our shows.
We shed light on the often silent struggles men face with vulnerability and mental health. Society can be harsh, discouraging men from expressing their emotions. Our discussion with Justin exposes the need for safe spaces, like Men of Honor, where trust and open dialogue can thrive. We dissect the sincerity behind the casual "How are you?" and emphasize the importance of creating a reliable, non-judgmental network that values accountability and support. Through these connections, men can find solace and strength, proving that they don't have to walk alone.
As we navigate the landscape of relationships and parenting, we explore how communication is the cornerstone of resolving conflicts and nurturing bonds. Sharing our personal tales, we highlight the delicate dance between kids' screen time and developing real-world social skills, celebrating small victories like a child confidently ordering at a restaurant. We reflect on our podcasting journey, honoring those who've supported us and reiterating our mission to inspire and uplift through faith and community. Whether you're seeking counsel or a community to join, we invite you to be part of our growing family, nurturing a space where honesty and humor go hand in hand.
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You say you got a headache or you are a headache.
Speaker 2:Where's that cricket button? What's that button at?
Speaker 1:Oh you, fresh shaved today.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've got the thing now.
Speaker 1:Is it waterproof?
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Nice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's in the shower.
Speaker 3:Like that little rechargeable deal, yeah like one of them balding.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, it doesn't get as close as a razor, but convenient, it does the trick.
Speaker 1:yeah, it doesn't get as close as a razor. But convenience it does the trick, man it does it. So would you have to use two mirrors with a razor to get the back?
Speaker 2:No, I just felt like my feel, oh okay, oh, that's blood, just wait what is that.
Speaker 3:What is?
Speaker 1:that.
Speaker 2:Well, I have to add it. Oh, we are recording, yeah. Go ahead, continue oh, we are recording. Yeah, go ahead, continue. I'm not telling that story on myself.
Speaker 1:No, not gonna happen. Y'all hold it against me yeah, a hundred percent.
Speaker 2:You'd hold it against me. But no, I, when I do it with a razor I have to like lean forward to get the to flatten that out back there oh man, that's full of skin. Yeah, because it's uh rolls, all that's messed up. I'm on the journey to lose weight, that's right yeah, you already said that.
Speaker 1:Uh, almost inconsistent I have been have you. Ever since that episode, you've been consistent no, no, no, no no exactly easy. Easy, you gotta start back the last few weeks, that's what. That's what I always. Oh, we'll do it Monday. The last few weeks have been good. That's what me and Jamie talked about today. We're going to start back Monday.
Speaker 3:Every Monday, then you're going to purposely eat more Sunday, Saturday, Friday. To be able to say all right, Monday, we're going to get on it tomorrow, but we really are going to get on it tomorrow.
Speaker 2:I heard this a lot.
Speaker 1:I don't know Every single time we talk that's messed up. But does it make you feel more unhealthy the fact that Justin brought a gallon of water Just being around, justin makes me feel unhealthy. It's like no, no.
Speaker 2:I'm not there yet.
Speaker 1:I feel seriously underdeveloped.
Speaker 3:You might think it's because of of health reasons, but it's because I suck at talking and I get so dried out so quick I'm like just constantly like you hear on the podcast you'll hear like what sounds like an ocean, like every 20 minutes, that's just me they have a bad history going on like no, just just again. Well, what's up, what's up, what's again it's bathing in the back.
Speaker 1:Yeah well, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up. Everybody, welcome back to a brand new episode of the almost brothers podcast. Thank you for joining us again on this beautiful, beautiful. Why am I saying beautiful?
Speaker 2:like they could see what the weather so beautiful looked like today, but it was a beautiful day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was, it was really nice. And a normal day Not beautiful with 115.
Speaker 2:Man, the wind's been crazy. Last week A little wind here.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It blew part of your porch off. It did, yeah, like the siding underneath the roof just tore a gutter off. Yeah, it was fun.
Speaker 1:Good times but, like you said, at least you found with the raccoons. Yeah, getting in that yeah, we did.
Speaker 2:There's some rotten boards up there that were covered up by the rain gutters, so it worked out there. It is hey, god's plan.
Speaker 3:That's right, you know, fix this yeah let me get it out of the way for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, on today's episode we've got justin one of the one of the hosts the host, we call it the host, the hostess, the dudes.
Speaker 2:I wish.
Speaker 3:I would have man. I do like hostess.
Speaker 1:I should have pulled that off of theirs and put it on one of ours so we could do their intro music. The host of the Dudes in Christ podcast.
Speaker 3:How's the intro?
Speaker 1:Dudes in Christ podcast Fancy.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, fancy. I took and said that into my phone and put it in the app and put some weird effect on it.
Speaker 1:Like that's good enough, I like it hey, yeah, yeah, you gotta do what you gotta do, all right, I can't remember where we got ours. We got some, some free, like you know, oh, absolutely not. Yeah, that's what we talked about, though we're gonna get uh, sean and tyler to yeah, do us an intro and write a song for us, that'd be, awesome. So how are you doing?
Speaker 3:Doing good, man Peachy.
Speaker 1:Just like we talked about. Right, it's great Doing good.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, Heck yeah, no, it's going good. Things are kicking back up, starting to get busy, which I'm constantly busy. I don't think I'm ever not busy, right, yeah, but I like it like that way.
Speaker 2:I don't like a lot of idleness I get bored easy, right?
Speaker 3:So I'm just let's just take on this whole new adventure, like, have a great time.
Speaker 1:What could go wrong yeah?
Speaker 3:So it's sometimes you have to shed those things. When priority happens, you know, work happens, life happens, ministry happens, whatever it is. But yeah, man, just trying to stay being the best I can and staying positive about everything.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, and are you still doing like the competitions and stuff?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so I just had my last one was shoot. It's been not long ago, probably a month, month and a half ago now. St Louis Everything went really well. It's probably the best meet I've had uh nice I placed first in my weight class and third overall the whole meet and that's the first time I've had like top top 10 at all. So it was pretty neat. And then, uh, come, come, after that I'm playing, uh knockout of all things with the youth. And one Wednesday jumped up and you know, I haven't played ball in forever.
Speaker 3:Anyway, we're just doing free throw line short. I miss free throw and I was like I'm just going to put it back in real quick. So I hurried up and dunked it real quick. I was like man that felt good. So I'm playing for like 5 minutes, doing it a few times and jumped one time, heard my knee pop. Yesterday was my first day back in the gym and like I still can't. You know I'm not squat, not dead lifting, so it's uh, you know, have the the best season of your life and then it comes kind of crashing down, but it's kind of story of how life happens sometimes, right?
Speaker 2:so well, let's pretend that all of our listeners don't know what this meet and competition is. Yeah, what is it that you do?
Speaker 3:So I am a power lifter, so probably the unhealthiest sport of all. The goal is to get big and fat as possible. Not necessarily, but it kind of seems to happen that way. So anyway, we're competing on three lifts, be it squat, bench and deadlift. So anyway, we're competing on three lifts, be the squat, bench and deadlift, and at a competition, basically, you get three attempts on each movement and you total the three up, whichever your best three are Like the weight of it, yep.
Speaker 3:You'll calculate the weight and there will be a formula based on your body weight and it will give you a score, if you will. So there's different weight classes. Uh, you know that you have scores and then there's usually the overall top score. Will kind of take like the the best lifter at the meet.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, powerlifting it's a, it's a small, it's kind of community.
Speaker 3:but it's, it's uh, it's awesome. It gives you, uh, you know, as mike knows, we were, you know, all about basketball when we were younger and after high school, quit playing, you kind of lose that competitive drive. If you will, yeah, and so you know, just talking about getting healthier and losing weight, it kind of gives you a goal to kind of keep you accountable for. You know, if I can't, just I guess I could, but it gives you a reason to show up on those days you really don't want to show up.
Speaker 3:Right, I guess I could, but it gives you a reason to show up on those days you really don't want to show up.
Speaker 1:I have a meeting in four weeks. I've got to show up Almost like having a deadline. It's like I've really got to do this.
Speaker 3:It's kind of helped me stay more active and just gives me something to really shoot for.
Speaker 1:I still have that competitive edge Better than my deadline of I'm going to start Monday, like an actual thing coming up, instead of just say you know man-made, like, oh, I'm gonna start monday, I failed next monday.
Speaker 3:Next monday for sure next monday for sure, we are starting.
Speaker 2:We're starting tomorrow. We're starting tomorrow, though. Okay, we're starting tomorrow, we'll see yeah, well, I'll say that.
Speaker 1:And then this afternoon we ate, uh uh, fins and feathers, yeah, and the whole time we're sitting there just stuffing our face.
Speaker 3:It was just like Start.
Speaker 2:Monday Dern diddy, dern dern.
Speaker 1:That's how I felt the whole time, Just like we'll start tomorrow. I promise. Just bring more food, please.
Speaker 3:Any time you overeat, just say, yeah, I'm bulking, right, garbloating, that's all it is. Oh, yeah, I'm bulking, you know right, garb loading, that's all it is.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah. So. So what we're going to be talking about in this episode is just talking about how you know, kind of in all aspects of our life not even just just the Christian faith, but just all aspects of our life Somebody asks you hey, how are you doing? What's our answer? Oh, I'm cool, I'm good.
Speaker 2:I'm fine. Good, it's either that or you don't have enough time for me to right, you know right, to actually break it now you're still getting out of that like, oh yeah, I'm good, yep we'll be right back.
Speaker 1:Well, hey there, this is mike from the almost brothers podcast. We want to thank you for checking out this episode. I want to ask you has this podcast encouraged you in any way? And you would like to give back? Well, guess what? We have a way that you can do that. Ok, you could do three dollars, five dollars, eight dollars or ten dollars a month. What this does is this helps financially support the show so we can continue to put out good content and encourage you. Continue to put out good content and encourage you. So if you would, if you've got time, go down in the show notes and click on that support button. That will take you to the page to where you can give back and help us to continue this thing. Back to the episode.
Speaker 1:Why do we seem to want to go that route? And just even though we may be going through something, what kind of sparked this goes along with the message from this morning is just how Adam and Eve were in the garden and God said hey, where are you? And we think many times that physically, you know, we know God knew exactly where they were at, but he wasn't asking them like, where are you? Physically, he's asking you where are you spiritually? Like now you're, I feel you distancing, distancing yourself from me. But I think we ask each other that and one. We don't mean it when we ask somebody that, yeah, but also we say, oh, I'm fine, I'm good, and really we're not right. You know, like I believe you know, it's so important for us to lean on each other when we're going through stuff, but we refuse to even open up to each other and say, hey, I'm not doing very well, I'm not doing good, I'm hurting, I'm broken. Why do y'all think that is?
Speaker 2:And men are especially bad about this because you know God forbid we be vulnerable at any point in our lives because we're taught to do that. We're taught well, men are supposed to keep it in. Men are supposed to keep it in. Men are supposed to be the strong ones. And all this, well, we hurt too right and I I don't know why we just can't let people in you know, let people know what we struggle with, let people know what we got going on.
Speaker 1:I mean, I don't have that problem, I'll tell anybody what I'm just about to random get your chair Lady at the supermarket checking you out? How are you doing?
Speaker 3:Well, ma'am, let me tell you.
Speaker 1:She was like I'm just trying to scan you and get you out of here. Come on Like I didn't really.
Speaker 2:Well, and that's the flip side of the coin, right? Don't ask the question if you don't want to know the answer, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:If you don't really want to know how I am, why? Why are you asking? Yeah, out of politeness?
Speaker 1:do you think it may be a lack of just areas to where it's open to say, hey, let's sit down and talk about you know what, what we're all dealing with, you know?
Speaker 3:I think that's a big, a big problem too I think, going to me back back to the original question, like why do we even ask it? I find myself sometimes guilty of asking it and maybe just in passing, like yeah there wouldn't even be time for. You know, it's just a a second nature thing, or it's. You know I'm socially awkward type thing I don't know what else to say, like hey, how's it? Going bro, right, okay, see ya yeah so, and then you know.
Speaker 3:The other aspect is, um, I'm sometimes cautious of telling certain ones, not certain individuals. But why are they asking? Do they truly care? Are they ready to go gossip what you've got going on?
Speaker 1:Right, that's good.
Speaker 3:I think it's important to have, whether it be a spiritual family or just close friends that you can truly trust with your feelings before you just go pouring them out onto everybody.
Speaker 2:You know, if that makes sense, yeah.
Speaker 3:And then there's, you know, there's that surface area where, like hey, what's going on at supermarket? Like hey, you know that just kind of sucks, you know whatever. But then there's like the root of the actual problem, like you need to realize who you're if that makes any sense.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just watching your circle, yeah, that's so important. I think that, especially, like you said, for men, because it seems like we oh got to get through it and I've got to fight through it and I've got to be tough and I can't open up I think that's so important to have you, a small group of friends, like you said, where you can go to and say hey, I'm struggling, I really need you to, you know, to help lift me up today, and and I think that we, we don't put enough importance on that- Well, when we started men of honor, monday nights at six o'clock, every minute church but when we started that, that was one of the things that I've laid down as part of the groundwork is is we have to be able to trust each other.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, in this circle. So if, if I find out that you know Joe went and told Bob's business, joe would no longer be allowed to, you know he wouldn't be welcome at our group, right, and it's just. It's a trust thing and you have to be able to trust that circle in order to to be vulnerable, because if the one time that happens, that that's it, you're not going to do that anymore. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1:And that if that trust gets betrayed, it's a horrible, horrible scar, that it takes, you know, some people years to get over.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I mean, even you know, there's things that I struggle with, that I that I just don't feel right going to my wife and being like, hey, I'm, I'm straight, because it could just be something about how we're wired as men that even if I went to her she would just wouldn't understand, just because you know you're not a man, you just don't understand it.
Speaker 1:So I think that is, it's so important to have, you know, you some good buddies that you can go to and just say, man, dude, I'm really, really fighting it this week, just with everything on me and I, I don't know why, this past week I've really been on on a kick of just watching uh, y'all know the band Lincoln Park, yeah, and just watching Chester and how, like even his last few interviews leading up to his suicide, you know, people seem so happy, like all these guys that end up, you know, committing these crazy things against themselves, seem so happy on the lead up to it, it's like, and I wonder how many times somebody came to them and just said, man, hey, how's it going?
Speaker 1:How many times they said, oh, I'm good, when really we're not like. None of us are, you know, none of us just have it, have it all together. So I think it's so important to find somebody that you can not only confide in, but somebody, on the subject of of people, that that we lean on, that may not be in our everyday life, because I think that sometimes we go to people that were around all the time so they automatically have a preconceived notion, you know, to what we're going through and they automatically want to kind of jump in. I think it's important to have people outside of our life.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. I think you know some of your best counsel, like you said, is people that aren't I don't want to say picking you apart, but they don't know every step you've taken.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Because, like you said a lot of times, that'll dictate their answer. Like oh, you know I'm struggling with this. Well, yesterday you were out hanging with so-and-so and you didn't need to be with so-and-so, right when. That is a true fact. You know that. Might that your problem or whatever you're dealing with might have happened before that, but that's the last thing they remember. So I think an outside want to say an outside source that might not be the right word to say, but somebody that I use this illustration a lot. I'm a terrible friend sometimes because I'm a lot. We'll talk to you three days straight and you might not hear nothing from me from a month right now, but I'm same way, yeah another month from now, though, like something might come up and you know just something powerful might happen in in meeting.
Speaker 3:Uh, it's not that you know you didn't trust them in the day-to-day, or you just you just didn't have conversation. You know we're we're truly busy people these days. Yeah, we live in a cell phone world where everything's at their fingertips, and that just causes us to be busy, because now we don't have to wait for things to happen, or we don't have to wait till we get home to contact Richard or whatever. We just, hey, let me text him real quick, right? So you know, I don't. I think there's important to have both. It's important to have, like your, your day to day buddy or your day-day family friendship and things like that you conversate with. And then there's almost that um, whether it be like a spiritual father type or just a spiritual brother aspect, uh, away from your day-to-day, that can say, hey, what's what's truly going on and let's see if we can, can figure this issue out. Yeah, oh yeah, that's what I do I try to go to.
Speaker 1:I've got pastors that that I go to that have no idea what my day-to-day looks like, have no idea, but they're a huge part of my life. Just because you know, they know some about me, or I've grown up with them and they've moved off, or whatever it may be, but that's who I go to, for you know, hey, this is what the church is like, what do you think about this, this and this? Because they can, they can give that clear perspective, you know, and a lot of them have been doing this for a long time, so I'm able to go to them and get some wisdom and be like, oh, cool, okay, cause I, yeah. And because everybody, everybody going into a conversation with a brother, with a friend, with a spouse, whatever it may be, will automatically have their own bias one way or another.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I just I just recently started counseling and it's it's not even Christian counseling, it's totally outside of of of everything, but it's professional counseling. Just, you know some stuff, that some stuff that's been coming up in my mind, that that I've, that I'm dealing with from my childhood. You know that sort of thing and and it's weird to talk about that stuff with strangers, but then again it's also a little easier to talk to somebody.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's what I was about to say.
Speaker 2:Sometimes it's easier to talk to a complete stranger than it is you know, maybe your family or whatever, yeah, yeah, and that's you know, because there's going to be a lot of things we talk about that maybe I don't want everybody to know right away that I'm dealing with, so it's just it's. There is value in that and going outside your own circle, yeah.
Speaker 1:And do you think that that mindset of society has has made you feel that way? Like I feel awkward sharing how I'm like that it's. When you think about it from the outside, it seems like a crazy thing, like I feel weird sharing how I feel they shouldn't feel weird. That should be something that you know we're like. Oh okay, this is good to get to talk to somebody about how I feel. But I think society has made it to where we're.
Speaker 1:We feel ashamed for feeling a certain way. Yeah, you know we feel ashamed for for struggling certain way. We feel ashamed for struggling. Maybe it's mental health. Whatever it may be, we feel bad for it, especially as Christians. We think, oh, I shouldn't have to deal with any kind of. I think we've talked about this before a lot of Christian circles. They want to shy away from the mental health aspect of it's a real thing. People really struggle with depression. I know it's the cool thing, the end thing now where everybody's got anxiety and everybody's depressed and all these things but it really is something that people deal with and we we need to address it.
Speaker 1:We can't just sweep it under the rug of well, just just read your Bible more and pray about it and then everything will be great. That's sometimes, that's not the answer. Sometimes there's something else going on that being able to share that, being able to unload that burden onto somebody. There's a reason why it says there's a wisdom in the multitude of counsel to be able to get that stuff out and get multiple aspects from it.
Speaker 1:And I just think that we've gone so far the other way, to where people try to hide this stuff and keep it on the inside instead of sharing it with one another and and actually meeting the issue head-on. Right, and it grows and it grows root, and it grows something on the inside of us that that, at the end of the day, it ends up being something so huge that could have been taken care of if we'd only sat down with somebody said hey, even our spouse, even my wife, there's things that you know that we. That's like man. Why didn't I just get this out in the first place, instead of holding on to this for two months and then blowing up all of a sudden, on something that you didn't put the clothes in the washer. Now I blow up, not because you didn't put it, but because of something that happened so long ago that I didn't share with you. I just don't understand why that's so hard for us.
Speaker 3:I sound like my wife talking to me. She'll say that all the time.
Speaker 3:She's like why, you know, you blow up on something, you just sit and let it stew, and I don't know why we do that. Sometimes I don't try to do that, but I think it again goes back to the kind of the culture that you know we're kind of raised in. Me and Mike could probably definitely attest to this. When we were growing up, Nintendo was a cool thing, so instead of being out and spending time with family, I was in my own room playing video games for hours on end, hours on end. Not getting that personal relationship building quality at the age that you really should be, so that kind of delayed, that aspect of just being able to openly talk to somebody.
Speaker 1:That's good, wow yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm sitting here playing Smash Brothers. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, and so then then we got to figure out in our 30s how to do that and that that can be difficult, that can be awkward, that can be. You know, it can be hard, hard to figure out, but I think it is important that we do figure it out. Attempt to, whether it's awkward, weird or whatever, just put it out there and as you kind of do it, just like anything else, it's going to get easier and easier, just like podcasting. When I first started I talked to Mike and he kind of helped me get going those first couple episodes.
Speaker 3:If I was to go back and listen, I was like man that's rough, it's just being able to get your feelings out in the open, being able to deal with it and just having that discipline, because it is a discipline of communicating, whether it be your spouse, your friends, your circle, whoever it is. So, yeah, it's definitely important in my opinion.
Speaker 1:Man, I think that's good that you hit on, because you know we talk about depression, anxiety running so rampant, especially in our young people.
Speaker 1:Now I think you hit right on. Part of what it is is this technology video games, your phone, you know these things that are great things to have, but, yeah, I think they lack that personal especially. You know, two and a half years of COVID made it even worse. So now all these kids, they not only don't know how to get their feelings out, don't know how to communicate whatsoever. You know we see it all the time in the school system of we've got kids that are in high school right now that will not talk, not, will not openly. You know, get up in front of the class like will not openly. You know, get up in front of the class like will not talk, you'll say their name and their friend will have to say here for them. That's crazy, yes, and it's like how, how can, how can we expect that person to share and they can't even get that out because they haven't had it. I think that's so good we had that.
Speaker 2:We had that youth on that trip one time that she wouldn't even order her own food at mcdonald's. Yeah, she's just like. Came to mike, he's like can you order my food for me?
Speaker 1:yeah, I'm like what do you mean? I'm like what do you have to go the back? She's like no, I I'm scared to order your food. It's like you're at mcdonald's like what starved to death, yeah, so how, how are they ever going to to even the, even with their parents, their friends, whatever it may be, share? Hey, I'm struggling with fill in the blank yeah okay that that would have to be such a daunting, scary thing for them to do because they just don't do it and we don't.
Speaker 2:We don't even teach that in school, we don't teach public speaking or or anything like that in school I went through some management training one time that one of the things they talked about managers nowadays having to deal with is parents coming on interviews with their children.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like that's a thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm like I can't imagine hiring somebody who brought their parents to an interview. I mean, if you can't even get through that, how are you going to work every day?
Speaker 1:Right, right, how are you going to work every day? Right, right, how are you going to deal with working in a team? Right, and that's what? Yeah, that's what you. You look at all the statistics. What it is is even interviews, like you know, very open-ended questions. These young people 19, 20, 21 year olds are answering, you know, yes, no, maybe, I don't know. Yeah, and it's like how are you going to function? Like, come on, and I think it's gonna. It's like how are you going to function? Like, come on, and I think it's gonna. It's gonna come to a head when all these kids graduate and get out into the real world and they realize, oh, you know, like I said, we don't even teach that in high school, like why we're? We're still teaching algebra for don't get me started.
Speaker 1:Algebra algebra, algebra four. But we were not like simple things that you're going to need your entire life Taxes. That'd be great Learning how to do your taxes, how to balance your checkbook, how to change your tire, like things that you're going to need in your life. But you know, no, we're we're. You know out teaching hey out teaching.
Speaker 2:Hey, make sure you memorize the 50 states. Well, that's when you know when we start our after-school programs. That's some of the stuff I want to focus on, yeah, when these kids you know having somebody come in and show them you know how to check your oil and yeah and change a tire and balance checkbook and I mean just simple basic do that no more oh, dude, don't even do that, no more.
Speaker 1:Oh, dude, don't even, I promise you, dude, okay.
Speaker 3:We got to speed Richard up to online banking.
Speaker 1:I have online banking, so okay.
Speaker 2:So you talked about embarrassing. You know having to shit.
Speaker 3:We don't need to bring it up again. Oh sorry, my bad, my bad.
Speaker 1:So this was maybe a year ago. I went up to pay electric and that's what I'm used to doing Just do it online. Right? I was like crap. I got to go pay electric, so I went up there, didn't have any cash on me, but I had the checkbook. Oh bro, I had to Google how to write a check in line. I'm panicking. There's like one person in front of me. I'm like, oh no. I'm like wait, where do I sign? Like do I sign? I'm like crap. So I did. I had to google a picture of a check and then just write my information in it. That's a true start that's a true start.
Speaker 2:Yeah, letters, yeah, tristan has no idea how to mail a letter, right?
Speaker 1:yep, where does my name go yeah, it's been a, yeah, it's been a while. They like how many stamps do you need? Are stamps even a thing Like?
Speaker 2:yeah, they're like 75 cents.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's, and it's. I think we're going to find more of that of people not able to do just everyday things. Yeah, you know because you've been locked up so much and kind of to yourself so much. I was the same way. It was video games and movies, man, that was my best friends. And I was the same growing up and had to learn how to even just speak in public, you know, to people. And it even still hits me now every now and then to where my nerves just get so crazy, you know.
Speaker 2:So the question becomes and y'all can answer this at your leisure why do we, as parents, fail our children in allowing them to get to that point? Because it's easy. That's the easy answer.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, because that's how it is, because I'm always so on the fence with it, especially electronics. I mean Bubby's all in on and now Sissy's starting it, starting to get there, but you know he's got an oculus and a computer and an xbox and a switch and you know kind of everything, and we, we don't even like do like, you know, oh, you can only be on it this time to this time, like as long as his chores are done, grades are up, stuff like that. We kind of let him. You know, do you know, go for it. You know, go for it. You know, I know you love it. I know it's something that you're into and I think that I, I know that I want to start kind of giving limits on it, like only a certain amount of hours.
Speaker 1:But yeah, because even even me and Jamie was talking about this we're on the way to Cape. We, you open doors and allow your kids access to the entire world. You know, we, of course we monitor what he's looking at on his phone, what he's watching on YouTube, stuff like that. But I, she wants to.
Speaker 1:She's like, well, I'd really like to just know YouTube at all with them and I'm like no YouTube at all with them and I'm like, I feel like you can go to two different extremes where you're just, oh, go at it and do whatever you want to do, but the other one, if you, if you, if you're so strict on them, what's going to happen is they're going to do it and they're going to go all in with it. So I feel like you want them to be able to be knowledgeable on this stuff, to be able to navigate a computer, because I fell into that trap. Able to navigate a computer? Because I fell into that trap, my first day of college I didn't know how to write a paper on a computer because I'd never had one growing up. You know, I don't ever want my kids not not to know how to do something, especially when it comes to electronics, because I mean, we're getting further and further into the electronic evil.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's just to get you know, not necessarily you know what platform or whatever. But it's almost a necessary evil that they, they learn you know how to navigate those things, because that's the way I mean every you know. Even you could say now, but even 10 years for sure, uh, it's going to. Every job out there is going to involve some type of electronic device to cause you.
Speaker 3:You know that you do your day to day withday with. So you know like they have to learn at some point, uh. But yeah, like you said, I think there's, there's a happy medium you got to fall for um, you know you don't want to uh necessarily just say here you know, go yeah do whatever, but there's also, like man, you know, I don't, I don't know, I don't know the answer it's tough man.
Speaker 1:It's which I know him. We try to lock everything down to where he could spend a lot of hours on it, but we know he's only able to get to certain things you know.
Speaker 2:So we try to kind of close certain doors, you get that other extreme and I know people that their kids are completely sheltered. Like when they get out of the house, they're not going to know how to live life.
Speaker 1:They're not gonna know how to live life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're not gonna have a clue yeah, yeah and we graduated with something that when they got out, they went buck wild. Yeah, because they had been, you know, sheltered and looked over, and as soon as they got that freedom they went whoa. It's like, wow, this is crazy. And I think that, yeah, you have to find that balance between the two. But also he's getting a lot better because we're making him step out a lot more and speak to people. So even today, when we ate lunch, we're starting our diet.
Speaker 3:Tomorrow we're starting our diet tomorrow yes, Monday.
Speaker 1:We don't order for him anymore. You're going to speak up, you're going to look the waitress in the eye, you're going to say yes, ma'am, no, ma'am, no, sir, and you're going to tell him. You know what you want Speak up. And he did so good today. So now we start seeing him step out, because he's been like that too, just super shy, and, and you know he'll whisper or whatever. So now we're making him step out and start'll start crying Like Bobby, what's the matter? Nothing. No, let's sit here, let's get it out. It's okay, man, it's okay to cry, it's okay to to be hurting. You know I'll hurt his feelings and he won't just directly come up to me and say anything. He'll just, like you know, kind of start tearing yes, open up, tell me when I do these things and let me explain why I got onto you, but also let me apologize for hurting your feelings and that way get those feelings out and not just bottle them up. I don't ever want that to happen, even though a lot of men still deal with that.
Speaker 2:Can't get it out Without a doubt.
Speaker 1:And women too. I mean, we're not forgetting y'all, Come on now. Not forgetting y'all, Come on now. We love you?
Speaker 2:No, we're not. We don't care about your problems.
Speaker 1:Well, jamie gets bad at it too. She, she does that word. Yeah, well, what's the matter? Nothing. Tell your face is nothing.
Speaker 2:Come on, it's the same way. It's just like what's with any relationship in your life. Communication is going to be huge, so if you somebody asks you and comes right back to the original question if somebody asks you in that environment, you know what's going on, what's wrong. Open up.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Tell them yeah, Cause I mean nothing is going to get resolved if you hold all that in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Especially with somebody you try to like just open up, yeah, you know I hate it when she well, I don't want to, I don't want to say because I'm gonna make you mad I don't care say it I'd rather us argue it out and figure it out. Then you just bottle it up and now you feel worse. I don't want that. I'd rather like let's take this on together, like let's do this together my wife will always hit me with that.
Speaker 3:You know there's something going on and a lot of times she just goes ahead and tells me If you ever met my wife, she'll tell you what she's thinking. But there's those rare occasions that she'll just, like you said, tell your face that something's not wrong and she'll just hit me with that. Oh, you should know you start to panic when I do that. I'm looking back at my schedule like what did I do?
Speaker 1:yesterday.
Speaker 3:Is it somebody's birthday? Is it your birthday?
Speaker 1:Is it our anniversary?
Speaker 3:What did I do?
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe it's because I'm older. I will not play that game. We're not going to play the 20 questions. What did I do wrong game you want to if you want to open up to me and tell me, great, if you want me to guess no, no, I'm not gonna do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like I'm not. Oh, it's a one tree hill episode where of course there was great show of all time, the goat, the goat. Yeah, where Haley gets called into the principal's office, she's like well, do you know what you did? She's like nope, and I'm not going to start admitting stuff. That's how it is. You should know what you did. I don't, and I'm not going to just start naming stuff, so you might as well just tell me, I have no idea, officer.
Speaker 1:I was not speeding. I didn't do anything. What'd you do? You were speeding, Okay yeah. I was you got me, you got me, yeah, so what else? Y'all got anything else on your heart, man? How are you doing?
Speaker 2:I'm actually a little nervous about my counseling and I'm a little I'm struggling with the diet. I mean I'm doing it but it's hard yeah, yeah, it's rough man, I had a piece of cake yesterday and I felt bad, guilty okay, I had two pieces, but that's not the bake sale yes I've seen.
Speaker 3:I've seen some of that man, I was like boy it was really good man looked really good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I've been. I've been doing good about it, though. Yeah, did you get it all out? Of the house no, it's still there. And that's, that's the thing I'm having to do it without. I mean that temptation is going to be there everywhere I'm at, it's going to be there. So I've got to. I've got to learn how to to take that on me yeah, all right, everybody else is eating that I don't have to so do you completely stay away?
Speaker 3:from sweets, or how do you um? So right now, I'm just, uh, I have been eating like just whatever, but uh, I started today, but uh, yeah. So last week I was traveling in memphis and, man, we like had a company credit card, so I flat use that mug. We ate and ate and ate. But yeah, so, um, I'd like to get you lose a little bit of weight before summer, because, uh, being hot and fat at the same time is miserable yes, yes, yes it is.
Speaker 3:So I'm gonna try to slim down. So for me, I, you know, I've learned that I can't keep things uh, really accessible until I've kind of done that. Where it's habitual, like I'm like just sticking, uh, like after I go a couple months, you know, clean if you will not eating junk, I can, I can have that in the house and I don't even mind to, um, you know, throw like a, a sweet in every once in a while. Um, but I have to be careful because that is my, uh, you know, that's my, it's my thing is little.
Speaker 3:Debbie's. That's kind of my that was my nickname, big Debbie, for a while. So yeah, I have to be very careful Because I mean it's an addiction like anything else Sugar, you know people have alcoholic problems or drug problems, things like that and so to get rid of them, what do they do? They just avoid it, whereas food issues you can't avoid food.
Speaker 1:Right everywhere? Yeah, we have to have it to live. Do they just avoid it right, whereas you know food issues? You can't avoid food right everywhere.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we have to have it to live. So it's just, you know, having that uh discipline to make the right choices and then you know, sticking to it, that's and that's.
Speaker 2:That's one of those things that that nobody talks about being an addiction yeah, but it is, it's, it's one of the worst because it's like you said it's everywhere, you know, and it it's, it's accepted. Yeah, like fat guys are just laughed at ah you're fat yeah, but I've got heart disease and right, you know I can't run up a flight of stairs without nearly dying right yeah, so it is a problem still the number one killer in the world Heart disease I don't have heart disease.
Speaker 1:No, you don't actually have heart disease, yeah.
Speaker 2:But it does kill me to go up a flight of stairs.
Speaker 1:It does kill me going up a flight of stairs, yeah.
Speaker 3:Well, yeah, if you look at the top several diseases like heart disease, diabetes, things like that all that is food-related there is some predispositions to being diabetic and salt-sensitive things like that, but for the most part they are a byproduct of how we eat and how we take care of ourselves.
Speaker 3:We're given this temple to take care of, so we're given this temple to take care of. I'm not saying that you have to hit every day perfect and never have that sweet treat. We mess up, just like anything else that we struggle with. We mess up and for me, I realized that if I was dealing with stress or anything like that, I would eat to combat that instead of dealing with the issue of what's causing the stress.
Speaker 3:And I think that's a really common problem. Like you said, we don't talk about it. We don't talk about the sin of gluttony or things like that.
Speaker 1:Come on, we talk about. What are you? We point at the ones that don't affect us. Oh my goodness, look over there. That's good.
Speaker 3:There is this story of two biblical philosophers coming up and they were going to meet for the first time. He walked up to his house, knocked on his door and the guy was smoking a cigarette or smoking a cigar. He's like I can't believe that a man of God like you would just sit there and smoke that cigar. And then he pointed back at him. The dude was just severely overweight. He's like I can't believe a man of God would. So it's easy to point fingers but it's just severely overweight.
Speaker 3:He's like. I can't believe a man of God would like, you know. So it's easy to point fingers, but it is, you know. It's just another thing. Take care of yourself, because we only get one chance at this, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's good. Oh yeah, that's why I talked last week, you know people will point fingers at somebody.
Speaker 3:Look now. Yeah, it's not an issue to. It's an issue, right, I mean right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, this has been awesome man, give me a shout out, y'all go, definitely go check out. Dudes in Christ podcast comes out every Monday, right, every Sunday.
Speaker 3:So we record 7am uh, before before church, and I just man, it's, it's there, I don't have to worry about it later because, yeah, I'll uh get busy and forget, right right, yeah, check us out on what channel 12 is that?
Speaker 1:yeah, I swear that little lady she was like are y'all on channel 11 like?
Speaker 2:oh my goodness gracious.
Speaker 1:No, ma'am, we are not yeah, that proves he listens.
Speaker 2:That's so funny.
Speaker 1:Channel 12. That's right. Yeah, but just an amazing group of guys, not only because I've been friends with at least a couple of them for a long time, but just an amazing group of guys. Man, it's awesome the small part that I was able to kind of help get that going, that going. Man. It's been awesome to watch y'all, um, because not only do it but stay consistent we talked about a few episodes ago not everybody does that you know.
Speaker 1:So that shows a lot of a lot of heart and it shows that y'all, y'all did it for the right reasons and y'all stick with it for the right reasons. So it's just awesome to to watch y'all and anything that this podcast can do to help that one. You already know, man, that's what.
Speaker 3:I give you a shout out, just every random, you know you kind of helped us get started and, you know, gave us some pointers, do this, do that. And uh, you know, it's just been something that, uh, you know, it felt like times, like man, it's just life's getting busy, you know, maybe we'll just take a little bit of break, no-transcript, with a struggle. It just, you know, picks, picks us back up, get some momentum going. And uh, you know, that is like I said, we have to realize what we're doing it for it's not for our own personal gain.
Speaker 3:When I originally, you know, first had the idea of it, there was some things in there like, yeah, it's going to help me because I'll stay in the Word, more things like that, which that is true. But you know that's as it begins to grow. And just, you know, over time you realize that it's not for you at all. And just, you know, over time, you realize that it's not for you at all, it's for, uh, you know it's for God's kingdom. And just, you know, helping that next person or or however it comes about, and just trying to be sensitive to the Holy spirit and see what it's saying and, and, you know, run with it. Yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:You never know. You never know what you say that's going to affect somebody that day. You know, somebody listened to your podcast and be like wow, I'm dealing with that too. Yeah, you know, that's that's why we do it. I want to be that voice for somebody.
Speaker 1:You know, especially when they're going through a very specific thing, like all right, god right, I need you to speak to me. And then, like they hear it through, they're like whoa right, like wow, like that's always the best thing. It's like, hey, that episode was for me, like that was, that was right on time and there is an old fat guy gonna listen to this episode
Speaker 2:he's gonna be like I'm about to get in shape.
Speaker 1:That's right, we're starting monday.
Speaker 3:We're starting monday is a good day.
Speaker 2:Monday is a great day to start hey guys, thanks for hanging out with us today. If you don't have a home church, come see us at remnant in malden, missouri. Service times are 10 am and 4 pm on sunday. And do us a favor, man, go to your podcast platform, give us a like, subscribe and rate us, please, and share, share, share. God bless each and every one of you Later.
