Almost Brothers Podcast

Die Hard Walked In With A Santa Hat And Got Booed

• Michael Simmons, Richard Randl, Tyler Wilkerson

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A Christmas movie isn’t just snow, lights, and a calendar date—it’s heart, family, and a story that believes in something. Live from Cape Con 2025, we set a clear, simple test for what counts as a real holiday film and then throw our top five lists into the arena. The crowd jumps in as we put Die Hard on trial, celebrate Elf and The Santa Clause, and argue whether The Nightmare Before Christmas truly earns its December stripes. The Family Stone gets a heartfelt defense as a portrait of grief, love, and tradition, and yes, we square off over the ultimate winner: Home Alone or The Polar Express.

You’ll hear why some movies feel like December in your bones, how music and recurring motifs turn scenes into rituals, and where nostalgia either deepens meaning or disguises thin storytelling. We talk cozy classics, modern mischief, and the delicate line between “set at Christmas” and “about Christmas.” Along the way we unpack what we actually want from a holiday watch—reunion, redemption, laughter, and that flicker of belief when the house is quiet and the tree is glowing. 

If you love spirited lists, honest hot takes, and a few surprises, you’re in the right place. Hit play, build your own top five, and tell us what we missed. If this episode made you smile or yell at your phone, share it with a friend, leave a quick review, and subscribe so you never miss our next debate.

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SPEAKER_03:

It's a problem.

SPEAKER_01:

I I I got a second grade education.

SPEAKER_03:

That is a second grade education? Yeah. Is that in where was that at?

SPEAKER_01:

That was in Campbell High School.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, so I don't even know if that counts. Like, I don't know. Kindergarten then at that point.

SPEAKER_01:

Hey, don't mess with the camel, camels.

SPEAKER_03:

What's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, everybody. Welcome to the Almost Brothers Podcast at Cape Con 2025. We are pumped up to be here. As always, I got on my left Richard Randall. How's it going, man?

SPEAKER_01:

It's going good, man. I'm good.

SPEAKER_03:

And we got Tyler still on paternity leave with the with the twins. So we have a sit-in, Tyler. Tyler, how are you doing today? It's good, man. He talks about as much as the real Tyler. So, you know, we don't have to tell him to shut up, though.

SPEAKER_01:

So you don't have to mute him.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, so it's good. You just hang out, Tyler. Okay. So he's gonna be our Tyler for today. But on today's episode here at Cape Con 2025, we're gonna be talking about the five best Christmas movies. At least our five best. So this isn't scientific in any way.

SPEAKER_01:

We did algorithms. Yeah. I don't know what an algorithm is.

SPEAKER_03:

You don't, you just like throwing that word around. It's in the cloud, I think. What do you think about that, Tyler? So funny, I'll tell you what. Yeah, but this so there's no scientific, this is just our favorite five Christmas weeks. Now, do you have yours in order?

SPEAKER_01:

I have my favorite. Yeah, like in like in my favorite one.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, and then the rest are just in there. Okay, so I figured in order to rank our favorite Christmas movies, we have to say what is not a Christmas movie. Okay. Oh, you gotta start with that. So we have to start with that. So I wrote down just and again, this isn't scientific, but I wrote down something where I feel like that even though it's not scientific, you would argue about it. I'm absolutely 100% gonna argue about it, okay? But no scientific method.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, hey. Okay, sorry.

SPEAKER_03:

Go ahead. I will mute you. You can't.

SPEAKER_01:

I know you're right.

SPEAKER_03:

Dang, man. Tyler. Uh so for me, a Christmas movie needs to be a few things. Number one, family oriented. Okay. Right? At least a little bit. So far, I'm not sure. I know there are some Christmas movies where it's like. I know where you're going with this. I guess Herod and Kumar Christmas. I guess not really family oriented, but you know, uh, it has to be a celebration of the meaning of Christmas. It can't just be during Christmas time. Like that doesn't count. Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't know if I agree.

SPEAKER_03:

That doesn't count. Because if that counted, well then Spider-Man is a Thanksgiving movie. Because the Macy Days Parade was in it? Because they sit and eat Thanksgiving dinner. Spider-Man into the Spider-Verse would be a Christmas movie because it happens at Christmas time. It is not, obviously, right? So we are gonna mark out right now, we're gonna X. I am Xing this out. So if it's on your list, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01:

I do it's not.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. Die Hard is not a Christmas movie. See, this is where things are. I won't see this is where we got one boo and one yet. See, that's what I'm saying. It is not a Christmas movie, it is an action movie. It is a action movie that happens during Christmas.

SPEAKER_01:

Christmas movie. No. By your criteria. No, yes, no, absolutely not. It's a family-oriented movie because he's it is not he is protecting his family. No, that is not. You can't go, oh, it's family. He's got a picture. That is where you started. And that's Tyler. The meaning of Christmas is killing people with hand grenades and stuff.

SPEAKER_03:

That is not how that goes.

SPEAKER_01:

That's the meaning of Christmas. That's the Geneva Convention.

SPEAKER_03:

Tyler, close your ear. You don't need to be hearing this. My goodness, it's in the Geneva Convention. I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01:

What was that? Oh, is the Santa Claus where he started talking about like the killer tank?

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, it's like coming down the street in a panzer. Well, Santa took out the Thompson home. Exactly. Like, no, that is that is I don't see anything wrong with that. Okay, so so that is we're gonna mark the we're gonna mark that out right now. We're gonna end that discussion right now before we even begin.

SPEAKER_01:

Only because it's not on my list.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, good. Would it be on anybody's list here as the top five? Your top five Christmas movies, really Casey Jones. It does re it does reference Christmas, but it doesn't have as much Christmas, doesn't have as many Christmas songs and it doesn't just encapsulate the meaning of Christmas the way Home Alone does. Well, that's true. Like somebody may have a different Christmas. That's very true. So I mean, depending on what your Christmas is like, then you know, it it may be in there. You know, I know some people that watch Wheel of Fortune and eat Chinese food on Christmas. So what's wrong with that? And not a single thing. I didn't say anything was wrong with that, you know. So hey, whatever it may be. So we're gonna start with well, mine's gonna be my number five. So I'm going five to one.

SPEAKER_01:

So it's gonna be extra. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh I thought, well, I mean, I come prepared or try to, whatever. Tyler, what's your number five?

SPEAKER_01:

You're full of crap, Tyler.

SPEAKER_03:

He's so diehard.

SPEAKER_01:

That's what all five diehard.

SPEAKER_03:

This is what's wrong. I would slap a child if I was out there. All right, so what do you got for your first pick? Would be elf. That's a good one.

SPEAKER_01:

Classic.

SPEAKER_03:

It's that's a good one.

SPEAKER_01:

We got a cheer there. Okay, but elf is a classic. You just you could watch it over and over again, and it's amazing.

SPEAKER_03:

It really and you don't even like Will Farrell a lot. I do not.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't like Will Farrell at all, but I like Elf. I could watch that over and over again.

SPEAKER_03:

Hope you find your dad. It's a pretty good one. Yeah, it is. You know, he got sick eating a spaghetti during that time.

SPEAKER_01:

I saw that somewhere. Actually, you probably told me that.

SPEAKER_03:

I probably I have a lot of useless information that is no good to nobody, but I like you know sharing that. That's why my beautiful wife is here because she's heard all these stupid facts a thousand times over.

SPEAKER_01:

She looks so excited.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, and every time I tell her, she doesn't like like go along with me. She's like, Yeah, you told me already. Right. Yeah, and it's divorce. That's what happened. So my number five will be the Santa Claus. Classic, classic. The Santa Claus. Classic Christmas movie. It's not like that stink and diehard. You know, it's really bringing the meaning of Christmas together.

SPEAKER_01:

I love the Santa Claus. I almost put it on my list, and I did not because I knew it'd be on yours, but I have another one that I know is going to be on your list, but I put it on mine anyway.

SPEAKER_03:

That was a lot. That was a that was a long way around to get to that. You're welcome. Well, good. Least Die Hard's not on there, and and uh Santa Claus is on there. Yeah, Santa Claus is it's a movie that I could watch a million times and it never gets old. However, I do not like the sequels.

SPEAKER_01:

No, no, especially the third one. It was terrible. Yeah, I don't like them. It was really Martin Short, it's terrible.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, yeah, shameful. And how weird must one be to put on a random old guy's clothes after he just gets yeeted off of the planet. Just figured that is a good idea. I was put his clothes on, just raw dog his uh yeah, just not yeah, just not good, man. It's nasty. Yeah, thanks for that. Yeah, I'm ruining the movie sweat and all that. Yeah, I don't not cool. Thanks, appreciate it. Yeah, way to ruin Christmas. I didn't he ruined Christmas! He killed Santa!

unknown:

Stupid.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm sorry, hold up. He killed Santa. Shh, don't want to tell nobody that so anyway. Moving on.

SPEAKER_01:

Next, my next one is next.

SPEAKER_03:

Shut up. Sorry.

SPEAKER_01:

My next one is Jack Frost.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, wow, that that's out of left field. Jack Frost in top five.

SPEAKER_01:

With Michael Keaton, yeah. You don't like it.

SPEAKER_03:

You're showing your age here.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't care.

SPEAKER_03:

I think you got it. I'll be 48 this year. Jack Frost is what you're gonna. All the I want you to think about this for a second. We're gonna give you. Do you know how many tears I cried over Jack Frost? Probably right. Yes. I'm not shocked.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm almost crying thinking about it.

SPEAKER_03:

That's sad. That's sad. Don't laugh at that. Don't have don't do that.

SPEAKER_01:

I am a dad, so therefore that movie hits different.

SPEAKER_03:

Jack Frost. Interesting. Have you seen like the horror movie Jack Frost? No, don't. Why are you trying to destroy everything? No, I'm just saying, man. I'm just saying. I'm going home watching Die Hard. I ain't dealing with this. It's about as bad as Jack Frost being around.

SPEAKER_01:

It's almost Christmas time at the Randall House, anyway.

SPEAKER_03:

What is it with y'all like celebrating on November the 1st?

SPEAKER_01:

We're not. We are waiting until December 21st this year.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. Look out. Man, it's you're probably chomping at the bit, aren't you?

SPEAKER_01:

I'm dying right now inside because I want to do it right now.

SPEAKER_03:

Put down right now in the comments if you celebrate Christmas before Christmas like a weirdo like this family. Like what is the what do you do on Christmas morning? Eat Chinese food and watch Willow. It's like you were ready for that, weren't you? Shut up, man. You get on my nerves. You just wake up like it's a normal Tuesday. Yes. That's so weird. Who does that? I've explained it to you multiple times. I know, and it's still a problem, Tyler.

SPEAKER_01:

Deal with it. What's your next one?

SPEAKER_03:

Oh my gosh. Okay, this is another controversial one.

SPEAKER_01:

Of course it is.

SPEAKER_03:

The nightmare before Christmas.

SPEAKER_01:

Stop. I want to say thank you.

SPEAKER_03:

Thank you, Tyler. I appreciate that. Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, in all fairness, I have never seen the movie.

SPEAKER_03:

And it is not a Halloween movie. It is okay to watch it Halloween.

SPEAKER_01:

Skeletons in it.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm I'm I'm saying it's okay to watch it Halloween, but it is a Christmas movie.

SPEAKER_01:

It's a Tim Burton movie, so it is, and he's fantastic. I know. Can you mute him, please? I'm gonna get beat up at Cape Con. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03:

That is terrible. Really?

SPEAKER_01:

I feel bad about it.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, you should. I don't. I hope somebody is dressed as Tim Burton and punches you right in the kneecap tonight.

unknown:

Why would they?

SPEAKER_03:

I hope, I hope they take their finger and get behind the kneecap sweat and rub it on your upper lip. Just for saying that. Think about it.

SPEAKER_01:

What is wrong with you?

SPEAKER_03:

What is wrong with you?

SPEAKER_01:

Lots of things. We don't have time.

SPEAKER_03:

Disrespect Tim Burton like that. It is a classic. Great. It is about the spirit of Christmas. If you say so. When you could change Jack the Skeleton's heart. I'll tell you what. No. It is great. You haven't even seen it. I'm just gonna say no. Shut up. I hope you fall down watching Wheel of Fortune. Next.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, uh, so this is one I got from you. So it might be on your list.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

But listening to your criteria of Christmas movie, I don't know if it is a Christmas movie. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03:

I don't see. Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

That's the Family Stone.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, yes. It's yes. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01:

There's no Christmas movie. There's no songs. There's no. There is. That is. Yes, there is.

SPEAKER_03:

Has anybody saying Christmas Stone? Family Stone. Or Family Stone. Christmas movie? Song Stone? Any of those things? It's a great movie. It is a great, great family.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, it's a fantastic movie, but by your criteria, I don't know what qualifies.

SPEAKER_03:

It does. It 100% does. It's about the spirit of Christmas.

SPEAKER_01:

It's about the spirit of Christmas.

SPEAKER_03:

Like the spirit is like a thing. Like it's about the spirit of Christmas. It's about family. It's a beautiful thing. And it's actually my number two.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I figured it'd be on your list, but I wanted to clear it in. It's really good.

SPEAKER_03:

Mostly because I want my wife to make out with me later. So I had to put that on the list. Sentimental to us.

SPEAKER_01:

That's that what?

SPEAKER_03:

It's sentimental to us.

SPEAKER_01:

Family stone, folks. Aphrodisiac.

SPEAKER_03:

Does it every time? Hey, write that down. Hey, put in the chat if that doesn't let them know if that does it for you. You got problems. It is it is a beautiful thing. We put it together, put it on, get together. No. Little snuggling. Little checkers. I mean, you know, you know. Then next thing you know.

SPEAKER_01:

She's already told you no. No, no more. She does not want more children. Yeah, well, the Christmas spirit says I hope somebody punches you in the kneecap for not having more kids. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03:

I was trying to back him up. Well, he's gonna get jumped by a couple people that really like Wednesday, and he's talking crap about Tim Burton. It is. So he's gonna get jumped.

SPEAKER_01:

I would I could be beat up by Tim Burton and wouldn't know it.

SPEAKER_03:

Who is this guy beating me up? Yeah, you shouldn't have talked crap. I ain't gonna jump in and help you either. You better. Me and Tyler's gonna sit back and relax. He looks relaxed. Yeah, he is. He's asleep. It's cold out. I had to make sure he didn't get a cold.

SPEAKER_01:

Maybe it's cold outside. Yeah. Okay. Is it your turn now?

SPEAKER_03:

Uh no, it's back to you. I took your number two. You did. You took my number two, Family Stone. Number two.

SPEAKER_01:

All right. So I'm gonna go way back.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, okay. This is gonna be a black and white movie.

SPEAKER_01:

It is a black and white movie, but they re redid it in color. It's a wonderful life. And you and and see, I'm getting some lines back. I hey people understand what I'm talking about. It is a classic Christmas movie.

SPEAKER_03:

That's from way back. It is. It's a fantastic movie. Have you ever seen it? And it's gonna be thrown way back at the end of the day. Have you ever seen it?

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. That's a lie. I saw it when I was a child. That was a long time ago. You can't remember that.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I really can't. You're almost 40. Thanks for that. You're welcome. Appreciate that. I'm there for you. It's a wonderful. What is your what is your favor? Why do you like it so much?

SPEAKER_01:

I just think it's a really good, uh, just all-around great Christmas movie, not only because of the Christmas aspect, but because of the life aspect. To look at your what your life would be if you weren't in it. Okay. Yeah. I dig it. Yeah, because that's what the whole movie's about.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna go back and watch it. It's fantastic.

unknown:

I'm not.

SPEAKER_03:

So my oh, I'm gonna go. He can't let him hear me. Number one is the greatest Christmas movie ever made.

SPEAKER_01:

Casey Jones about to get ejected.

SPEAKER_03:

Diehard.

SPEAKER_01:

He's carrying a whole thing of weapons.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, nice. There we go. Hey, we can respond and let us know if you think diehard. There ain't no comments. There will be. If you think diehard is a Christmas movie, because I want to know who to block. Can I block somebody? Blocked. You're muted. So number one, the greatest Christmas movie ever made. There is no argument. It's gonna be dumb. There is no argument. Home alone.

SPEAKER_01:

No.

SPEAKER_03:

It is the greatest Christmas movie ever made.

SPEAKER_01:

I like Home Alone with a great sequel. Listen, no, stop. Stop it. Number two is great. No.

SPEAKER_03:

Lost in New York. Somebody take these kids away from this woman, please.

SPEAKER_01:

That's what CPS should be involved at this point. Good lord. Like, how do you do it twice? Because she's a terrible mother.

SPEAKER_03:

It was pretty bad. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

But I like Home Alone. I just think it's really overrated. What makes it overrated?

SPEAKER_03:

It's a I hope you get jumped.

SPEAKER_01:

She just said I'm overrated.

SPEAKER_03:

I hope you get jumped by Tim Burton and Macaulay Culkin.

SPEAKER_01:

I hope they just simultaneously at the same time stomp you out. Her curb stomp me. Oh gosh. Overrated. You're not. Yeah. That's what's gonna happen. There's all kinds of sores and stuff out there.

SPEAKER_03:

Next year it'll be me and the real Tyler, and then we'll have Richard.

SPEAKER_01:

Just a tombstone.

SPEAKER_03:

Just a we we miss it.

SPEAKER_01:

R I P. So how's it overrated? How's it overrated? It's just it's just all right. It's it's very predictable. It's ridiculous to think that he would be able to outfit.

SPEAKER_03:

I was left at home on Christmas as a child.

SPEAKER_01:

You were left alone a lot of child.

SPEAKER_03:

Number one, Christmas Vacation. That's a good one.

SPEAKER_01:

I almost put that on my list. That is a good one, Charles.

SPEAKER_03:

I love it. That is a very, very good one.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that is a good one.

SPEAKER_03:

That that was one that almost made it. And then uh, what was Zeke's? Oh, Elf almost made it to my list because that's Zeke's favorite. Yeah, it's a good one. I like Christmas Vacation. Yeah. The Griswold. You've never seen it? There's no hope for RGB. They're really they're real. What are they teaching y'all in school?

SPEAKER_01:

Back in his day.

SPEAKER_03:

Good lord. When he's in the in the attic with the shower cap on, watching old games. So dumb. And he finds like the old gifts. Oh, that should have been on my top five. That's a good choice. That is a good one. I like it. Good choice, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh, so my number one.

SPEAKER_03:

Your favorite. Number one.

SPEAKER_01:

What do you want to bet? I will bet you a thousand Kit Kats.

SPEAKER_03:

Would that be like whole Kit Kats? Or like, are we like having to do multiples of four? Like, okay, here's four, eight. I need to know to make sure I need my payment. I need my payment back.

SPEAKER_01:

I will bet you that this surprises you.

SPEAKER_03:

That's what I'm talking about. Willie McCoy Jr., you are a brilliant, brilliant man. As long as Die Hard is not making the list, they are okay with it. I love that. That is what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_01:

Heck yeah. Take that. That's what I'm talking about. Even though it is. But I will say, my number one was gonna shock you. Oh really? She's pregnant over here. I don't know what's going on. The Polar Express.

SPEAKER_03:

It's right there. Polar Express. Duh, I don't think you're not. Like I swear. You are the dad among dads. Like I got made fun of for wearing skinny jeans tonight. That's true. What made you pull them out of the closet?

SPEAKER_01:

I can wear them. Um it doesn't matter. But the Polar Express is a fantastic.

SPEAKER_03:

Polar Express is nightmare fuel. What? That's what I'd say.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. The only thing that's nightmarish is when they're on the road, when they're on the uh train and it's roller coastering, and he's like that. It doesn't matter. The polar ex okay. It is a fantastic Christmas movie.

SPEAKER_03:

We are. I really don't know if I trust you anymore.

SPEAKER_01:

To do what?

SPEAKER_03:

What is it? It's not really not. Now I wish it would have made your list.

SPEAKER_01:

At least I'm I'm gonna need y'all to go watch Polar Express because I feel like y'all don't understand.

SPEAKER_03:

You act like you act like if we watch it again, we're gonna change our minds. It's a good movie, so oh well that that Tyler, what do you say? That doesn't make any sense. I'm as disappointed as you are.

SPEAKER_01:

Tyler's always disappointed in me. Did Jamie? Zay Bay.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, Polar Express. Okay, cool. Okay. So you got two animated movies, one from like the 1906.

SPEAKER_01:

No, I only got one animated movie.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Because it was just Polar Express, the only animation.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Unless you count CGI. It's animation.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, and you know what I noticed we didn't have is is how Grinch stole Christmas.

SPEAKER_01:

I hate that movie. Really?

SPEAKER_03:

Really?

SPEAKER_01:

That's what I'm like. Yeah. I especially, especially hate the Jim Carrey one. Hey, this is how's it going, brother? This is no, I don't like well, I'm not a Jim Carrey fan, period, but he doesn't like Jim Carrey or Tim Burton.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

What are you doing? That's what I'm saying. See? What am I what are you doing with your life? Yes, you his number one Christmas movie was The Polar Express. Where are you going? Exactly.

SPEAKER_01:

It's a train. Let's calm down. I do. That's that's a nightmare. Just where's that?

SPEAKER_03:

Weird. That's where it's at. So what?

unknown:

That's where it's at.

SPEAKER_03:

Like mic drop, that's where it's at. Like they're not our mics. I can't drop them. Mike, I'll sit it down. Calm down, Tyler. Yeah. So what would what would your honorable mention be? One that almost made your list. I don't even want no, I don't even know if I want to know at this point.

SPEAKER_01:

I told you Christmas vacation.

SPEAKER_03:

That was your honorable mention. Don't say that because everybody's commenting that now. Don't try to suck up now.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm not sucking.

SPEAKER_03:

I I am all of our listeners are gone because of you. I hope you know that.

SPEAKER_01:

With my choices. So take that. Oh, God.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

Can you uh run down your list one time?

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, absolutely. Yeah, for those that just came in, absolutely. So we'll go back and forth. So I'll start with my number five was the Santa Claus. Best Christmas movies. And we and we put out Die Hard is not a Christmas movie. Die Hard is not a Christmas movie. Okay. No, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_01:

No, that's an honorable mention. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, that was an honorable mention. So my five was Santa Claus. Elf was one of mine. My number four was a nightmare before Christmas.

SPEAKER_01:

This is where it started going south for me.

SPEAKER_03:

And he's like, Tim Burton sucks. I did say that. And I said, I hope some Wednesday fan hears him and beats him up in the parking lot. Some 11-year-old child.

SPEAKER_01:

If I get beat up by a girl with pigtails tonight, I'm not coming back next year. Uh my second one was Jack Frost with Michael Keaton. Yes, yes, thank you. That's a good movie.

SPEAKER_03:

There is no good Jack Frost.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. That was the what?

SPEAKER_03:

Number out of the two. Right.

SPEAKER_01:

There you go.

SPEAKER_03:

My number three was Jingle All the Way. I almost brought my uh Turbo Man, but I don't I didn't want it to okay.

SPEAKER_01:

So I like Jingle all the way. I think Schwarzenegger was a terrible casting choice. It's not a tuma. It's not, but he was a terrible casting choice.

SPEAKER_03:

I thought he was fantastic.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, you're perfectly cheesy. Questionable. Uh my next one was Family Stone. I don't know if you've seen it.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, that's a that's a that's a deep cut. That was my second one as well.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

So that was my number two.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh Polar Express, which again is where it went crazy. But but it's uh it's a fantastic movie.

SPEAKER_03:

Waste of a choice. And my number one was the greatest Christmas movie ever made in the history of the world, home alone.

SPEAKER_01:

And mine was it's a wonderful life.

SPEAKER_03:

It's great. It's great. That would be on one of my honorable mentions. It's great. What what happens what happens with me with a Christmas story is what was it, AMC, where they played it just constantly for like six and a half weeks. Yeah. It just got too much. It's like, oh my gosh, okay, he's gonna shoot his eye out again.

SPEAKER_01:

When I thought it was too much the first time they made it, that was when I thought that was right. Like that's I've had my life threatened like five times just in this episode.

SPEAKER_03:

I know that movie as a kid growing up gave me weird feelings with the leg lamp.

SPEAKER_01:

I haven't seen it. If you know what I'm saying, I haven't seen it in a long time. So yeah, like I get it. I got maybe I should re-watch it as an adult and see if I have a better understanding.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, so it's like, oh, this is uh stick with my original uh assessment that it's not worth watching.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah. And and of course, It's a Wonderful Life was rounding off my top five. Yeah, that's a classic.

SPEAKER_03:

That's a good one for those over the age of 75.

SPEAKER_01:

I am not. I am under by a lot. So no diehard.

SPEAKER_03:

No diehard. I don't think diehard's a Christmas movie. Oh boy, you got him going. I think Die Hard is an action movie that happens during Christmas.

SPEAKER_02:

He gets it. Is that not what home alone is essentially? It's like a comedy that happens. Is not every Christmas movie a genre of movie that happens during Christmas?

SPEAKER_03:

No. No, the the the whole point of home alone is the importance of family and how much it means to the importance of having why did John DePlain try so hard to save everybody? Because he was a cop and it was his job.

SPEAKER_01:

Because it was saving his family.

SPEAKER_03:

And again, it if if all if all it it takes is for it to be around that time, then there's a whole lot of Christmas movies.

SPEAKER_02:

It's not necessarily around that time, but it's it's it's the comp it's the constant referencing to it, the themings of it. I mean, the movie even ends with letting snow.

SPEAKER_03:

And again, you could put a Christmas song in it.

SPEAKER_01:

So so And it's really allone is primarily about bad parenting. That's really the the overarching, overarching. I nailed it, got it.

SPEAKER_03:

Look, okay, she it would no, there's no there's no defense. I'm sorry, I couldn't.

SPEAKER_01:

And then she rides with a bunch of polka strangers all the way back across the country.

SPEAKER_03:

Which I found I found very weird anyway. Yeah, you know. I find that I find that weird too. Like, oh, get in the back of your van. Seems like a good idea. It'll be fine. Yeah, no windows, no, nobody knows. Doesn't tell her like doesn't tell her husband where she's at. I just think she's she's just all around.

SPEAKER_01:

The alternate ending that they didn't release was her being human trafficked into Mexico. Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Yep, and that's how the movie ends. Let it snow, and she's being sold into slavery.

SPEAKER_01:

Wow, that's terrible. Yeah, I'm glad they didn't release that.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. That's how I don't acknowledge the other one. Yeah, that those are only two. Yeah.

unknown:

Which one feels more of a Christmas?

SPEAKER_03:

The second one.

SPEAKER_01:

I like the second one because of the bird lady. So the bird lady freaked me out. She freaked me out, man. Well, I like Polar Express, so apparently that's true too. Apparently, I'm a recording.

SPEAKER_03:

That's true, too.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm not gonna make a movie.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, and it's like the the the first introduction of the bird lady. You see a child walking around. Calm down, Tyler. You see a child walking around in the park, and you're just gonna walk up stone faced with birds just dribbling down, just not say nothing.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, yeah, of course, that's what you do.

SPEAKER_03:

Just real real weird. That's yeah, that's true. That's a good point. That's true. Yeah, that's true. And it probably there's probably a bunch of kids running around in the park at that time. So, anyway. Yeah, so that's that's interesting. Okay, now favorite Christmas song.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, uh I don't know. That wasn't on the preparation list. Oh Jingle Bell Rock. That's a stupid song.

SPEAKER_03:

Bad Santa? Okay. See, would you count that as a Christmas movie?

unknown:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

I've never seen it.

SPEAKER_03:

Interesting. No, no, I'm not shocked. You're too busy watching it's a wonderful life. If Die Hard is a Christmas movie, then so is Lethal Weapon. Who doesn't what? Yeah, just bring the kids. Y'all kids come around. Yeah, yep.

SPEAKER_01:

It's always good to start a Christmas movie with a cocaine overdose and a plunge off of a balcony. What could go wrong? I can't think of anything.

SPEAKER_03:

That's how my Christmases start.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm not having Christmas at Casey Jones' place.

SPEAKER_03:

Wait, now say it. There is a child.

SPEAKER_00:

Let it snow.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, wrong kind of snow. Oh, my wife. That is awesome.

SPEAKER_01:

Hi guys, love bunny.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, as we get ready to wrap this up, uh, let's roll into a segment we call That's What's Up. Hey, y'all are welcome. Come on in. Come on, we'll argue some more and see what see what y'all think. Called That's What's Up. This is something you're listening to, watching, some video game you may be playing for this week. What you got?

SPEAKER_01:

So I finished a book series called the Bad Road, Dark Road series. And it was okay, but really lazy writing. Okay. Yeah, it was uh there were just horrible plot holes and and just wasn't it just wasn't good. But it doesn't nothing's going to rank against the Helldivers series ever. So I really need to stop using that as the bar.

SPEAKER_03:

You really do, yeah, yeah. Need to let go, man. Let go. Okay. Let go. No, don't do that.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

Don't do that. No, do that.

SPEAKER_01:

Frozen, frozen as a Christmas movie?

SPEAKER_03:

No, no, okay, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_01:

There's snow. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03:

Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh and uh yeah, that's about it. My shows are starting to come back on, and and uh yeah, that's I got a boring life. Christmas is a wonderful life, I guess.

SPEAKER_03:

Just a lot going on.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Tyler, how about you? Alright.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

So I have been playing some more Persona. Persona 5. Still chugging, chugging along through that game. It's fantastic. Dylan, you've been getting anywhere? Yeah. Deal pickles. Okay. I still don't know why. I'm still regretting buying Mario Kart World. Because it's terrible. Mario Kart World? Yes. It's just not good. It's just not good. That is. She's trying to call me out right now. I think she's trying to call me out right now. That's messed up. It's usually Donkey Kong.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. But it's it's just terrible. That is a communist game. That is a commun. That game. That game. That game gives you rewards for being terrible at it. And it punishes you for being good at it. It's like there's no point to be good at the game because it's just a crapshoot and a flip of the coin on who's going to get what at the end. Yeah, exactly. Well, you're you you destroy everybody, and at the end they're like, oh, we're going to give three stars to this loser. It's like, oh, cool. I don't know why we just spent seven hours in here. I playing this one. That's what I'm saying. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02:

You know which tracks the bag, so you just let everybody get a front.

SPEAKER_03:

See, that's I don't want to play a game where you just be so good.

unknown:

Like it doesn't matter if we get to a bar in the car.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Yeah, I don't see very many doing that. I don't see very and is there there's a tournament, so you better be winning this tournament here. It's okay, there you go. There you go. Yeah, it's it's yeah, I just don't like it, and I wish I never bought it. And it makes me mad because my wife cheats at the game and she wins. You do cheat.

SPEAKER_01:

I heard you cheat at board games as well.

SPEAKER_03:

I don't know. Castaway is also a Christmas movie with that logic.

SPEAKER_01:

I agree. That's not even remote. I'm done with diehard. I'm just dumb over it. Right? So he starts to propose uh his wife, it's Christmas, you know? My wife just commented something else for that's what's up.

SPEAKER_03:

Squid Game Challenge?

SPEAKER_01:

So they have a game show out now based on the Squid Games. They do like the Squid Games challenges. Do you die at the end? No, Mike, that would be illegal. I'll say there's a child in our presence. But we're watching that.

SPEAKER_03:

What else? What have we been watching? We've been watching uh Fantasy Factory.

SPEAKER_01:

On purpose?

SPEAKER_03:

Yes. It's a great show. It is an old show.

SPEAKER_01:

Of course it is, because you don't watch new shows.

SPEAKER_03:

No, why do that? New shows are terrible.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03:

Waiting on Stranger Things that comes out here. Yes, it's gonna be good.

SPEAKER_01:

We're canceling Netflix. It's gonna be good.

unknown:

You better not.

SPEAKER_01:

I was going to do that.

SPEAKER_03:

That's messed up. Man, a partner. That's what I'm talking about. So thank you for joining us. Cape Con 2025. Tyler, what do you got to end us with? Die Hard is not a Christmas movie.

SPEAKER_01:

You don't get to put words in. He said now. It's not a vanilla Christmas movie.

SPEAKER_03:

Whose child is this? Oh, that is so funny.

Head Shot

Michael Simmons

Host
Contributor

Richard Randl

Co-host
Contributor

Tyler Wilkerson

Co-host