Almost Brothers Podcast
Whats up whats up whats up.. welcome to your new favorite podcast. Join your hosts Michael, Richard, and Tyler as we discuss God, church, life, and the journey through this crazy world. Get away from the stresses of life with this podcast. We will be hitting on various topics from sports, to life with Christ.
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Almost Brothers Podcast
Ranch Does Not Go On Diapers
The jokes land first—Flavor Flav, ranch on mashed potatoes, rogue gaming takes—but the heart of this conversation is fatherhood in all its mess and wonder. We’re three dads at three different stages, from 21 days to 26 years, comparing notes on the invisible load men often carry when pregnancy gets complicated, partners recover, and the bills and errands don’t stop. No scorekeeping, no “who had it harder,” just honest talk about how stress moves silently and why naming it helps everyone breathe.
We unpack the early days where the textbook rules crash into reality. The bassinet looks perfect until your baby refuses to sleep there. So you iterate: contact naps, white noise, careful couch setups, and whatever soothes safely. That trial-and-error mindset becomes a habit that lowers shame and raises teamwork. We also lean into the tougher layers—sleep guilt, the urge to do it all, and the need to rest before you break. There’s room here for older-dad truths too: making peace with past mistakes, choosing the least harmful path through divorce, and the power of repair. Counseling insights, like shedding a hero complex, become practical steps for loving better.
What kids remember isn’t perfect technique; it’s presence. The moment a child finds you in the stands and lights up will recalibrate your priorities in a second. We talk resilience, raising kids with limitations, the value of respectful coaches, and why a small village—family, friends, community—multiplies a father’s impact. And yes, between NICU tears and bedtime wins, we make room for pop culture, from AI jokes to movie recs, because laughter is part of how we carry the weight.
If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a dad who needs a lift, and leave a quick review so more parents can find these conversations. What’s one fatherhood myth you wish more people would drop?
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You gotta get it back to where it needs. That's because that's where Richard sat while you were gone. Wow. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:I definitely did not lick that microphone.
SPEAKER_03:I feel like a giant dent in the seat.
SPEAKER_04:There's something. Why am I sinking in still warm? After the three and a half weeks.
SPEAKER_03:Why is his chair still warm?
SPEAKER_02:Both of y'all can shut up.
SPEAKER_03:There's mashed potatoes on the side here.
SPEAKER_04:Mashed potatoes. I like Mason Taters. Oh, that's so funny. What do you put on your taters? What? What do you put on your mashed potatoes? Nothing. Well, I didn't know we talked last time about the crazy stuff that you put. I was just double checking.
SPEAKER_02:I like ranch on my mashed potatoes, but you see what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_04:Like he thinks that's normal.
SPEAKER_02:Ranch goes on anything.
SPEAKER_04:Does it though?
SPEAKER_02:Does it go on ice cream? Do y'all remember that cereal? Do y'all remember that flavor of love show?
SPEAKER_03:I was five. Wait, hopefully, thank you. Flavor flavor. That's what I was thinking. Okay, yes. Okay. Maybe we had this remote. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah. Say it again. You gotta say it right. No, flavor, flavor. This man said flavor flavor.
SPEAKER_04:You remember that show with flavor flavor on it? I'm sorry, go ahead. I thought you meant a food show named that. I'm like, I remember the one with flavor, flav.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, boy!
SPEAKER_04:Flavor of love. I'm fine with that. Oh, nice. There we go. There we go. Our ratings just went up. More more listeners.
SPEAKER_02:Anyway, flavor of the flavor. Flavor flavor.
SPEAKER_04:There they went.
SPEAKER_02:Whatever. They had an episode where they were like bathing these girls in ranch dresses.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, it's so weird. Do you know what band he was part of?
SPEAKER_02:No, and I don't care.
SPEAKER_03:Wait, give me a small hint because I know. It's two words. So mm-mm.
SPEAKER_02:Flavor, flavor of the small band. I don't know that. I don't know if that helped, but it's like you know.
SPEAKER_04:It's two two words. I can't give you too much of a hit. Public enemy.
SPEAKER_02:Public. Yep, yep. You didn't even do the right syllables. Mm-mm. It'd be two words.
SPEAKER_04:I was just saying two words. What's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, everybody. Welcome to a brand new episode of the Almost Brothers Podcast. On today's episode, we're gonna talk about being dads. As always, I got Ta. You're Rich.
SPEAKER_02:What's up, man?
SPEAKER_04:Me and Zeke were talking about uh the Bad Friends podcast. We were quoting it all the way home yesterday. Uh you heard it here first. How y'all doing? I don't know what that is. I know. That's why I was telling Tyler because I knew you didn't know what it was. Oh, that's so funny.
SPEAKER_02:I'm fantastic.
SPEAKER_04:I bet our listeners didn't expect Flavor Flav.
SPEAKER_02:Right out of the gate. Right out of the gate.
SPEAKER_04:On this episode. Just right out of the gate. No, they didn't. They probably turned it off by now. Come back. Come back. So yeah, we're talking about being dads because now officially we're all three fathers. We are fathers. At three different stages of life. Your oldest is 26. My oldest is 21, and your oldest is 21 days. A month tomorrow. A month tomorrow. There you go. So kind of a wider range. So yeah, I know, I know, Tyler. I'm gonna kind of let you take off on this and then we're gonna be real quick.
SPEAKER_03:No, it's not about ranch. It's not about ranch, okay. It's not about ranch. Okay, so when you're giving like a period of time like this, no, your your baby is this old or it's been this long. Okay. Okay, we're talking, you know, when you are saying that amount of time, okay, what like say let's say it was whatever it was. It's been a number of years, a number of months, and a number of days. Yeah. Which number do you start with?
SPEAKER_02:I don't give after they're a year old, they're a year older.
SPEAKER_03:If you were to say it like that, I would say I'd say the year, month, then day. Okay. The other day, Liv was talking about uh how long it's been since we found out she was pregnant, and she was like, It's been two days and eight months. Yeah, that's weird. That's backwards. I don't like that. See, and we had a conversation like that, and I was like, Liv, talk like a normal person. She's like, No, you're being weird.
SPEAKER_04:I'm like, no, that's well, that's like, yeah, that's like when you say like uh a month and a date, you say the month first. You don't I was born on the 17th of sixth.
SPEAKER_02:Like a year of our Lord. Right.
SPEAKER_04:It's like yeah, it's like, no, you you say the month, then the day.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah. That's it, it's been yeah, that's weird. It's been two months, five days, and three years. Yeah, it's like that's been backwards. I can't do the math.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, no, no. How long would you go saying my kid is this many months until you say a year? A year. That's me.
SPEAKER_02:And I I know other people that do it up to like 18 months, and yeah.
SPEAKER_03:I would say it depends on how long it takes for you to say the age.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, when it gets too long. But probab 24. My absolute cutoff would probably be two years. Yeah. I think so. I think I think a lot of people go by go by like the size. You know how like kids' clothes go up to like you know, 24 months and then you stop after that.
SPEAKER_03:So it's an easy way to kind of remember because I think it I think it's a little easier to say 18 months as opposed to one year and six months. That took five minutes.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, well, I just I don't put the month, it's one. It's one how old they are.
SPEAKER_04:Do y'all celebrate half birthdays? No. Have you ever known somebody that did like they have half birthday parties? Uh yeah.
SPEAKER_03:I haven't even taken it that series.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. They're like, oh, it's my that's a lot. It's my half-year birthday.
SPEAKER_02:What would mine be? I was born in December.
SPEAKER_04:June. Yeah. June or July?
SPEAKER_02:We'll start doing that.
SPEAKER_04:It's my it's my half-year birthday. Yeah, because I know, oh my gosh, you know, teaching at high school, you have these kids that are like, oh, we're celebrating our five-month anniversary.
SPEAKER_03:It's like, really? Yeah. Like what are y'all doing? Are you going on a vacation or something?
SPEAKER_04:We're we're hanging out after eighth hour.
SPEAKER_03:Eighth hour? Because I got caught holding hands.
SPEAKER_04:Like, yeah, you got busted holding hands. I remember me and Jamie, we got eighth hour for holding hands once. Wow. Yeah. You had lead. That's what happens. And then you had any premarital hand holding stuff.
SPEAKER_03:Caught holding hands. Eighth hour because you got caught holding hands, and then after eight hour you had leave.
SPEAKER_04:That's in the order that that went in. Yeah, yeah. Short amount of time. It's crazy how that happened. Crazy how that happened. And it was all her. She done it. She initiated the hand holding. I was an innocent bystander.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, you just never mind. I'm just until that happened. I'm gonna just let I'm just gonna leave that right there.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, so Todd, take us away, man. That's a good, this is a good, good subject, man. Is is just being a dad. I know you you you kind of launched this thought, you know, about how many times because the woman is the the blessed to be the one to carry the child, blessed to be the one to nurture and do all these things, the man many times kind of gets thrown to the side. Like we have no part of it whatsoever.
SPEAKER_03:Like and the i I've been dwelling on that for a while and letting it stew and let myself get uh butthurt from it. And I didn't like I didn't like have an attitude, but I had to really explain it to someone the other day when they said something like that, and I was like, I was like, I mean, she lived carrying the babies for eight and a half eight months, I can't remember. I think it was eight months. Um she had she had a C-section. Those two things are I don't even know how you would describe that. It's uh traumatizing, it's uh uh just uh miraculous what the female body can do. Yeah. Um and I was telling uh and I I sent my friend uh Andrew um a text the other day because him and his wife have been going through some infertility stuff, and I was kind of giving him a little bit of encouragement and talking about this too. And I was like, people are gonna dog on you for being a dad and say you did nothing. Right. You didn't, yeah, you're just there. I was stoned on him, I said at some point, because this is what I'm this was with Liv, and I'm sure this is how it was with Jennifer and Jamie. At some point, they've got to stop doing stuff. Yeah. Because they have to, yeah. Because they have to put their health and the baby's health first first. First. They have to they've got to stop. Yeah. All of their burdens now are put on your shoulder, on top of all the burdens you already carry. Yeah. Right. Their world stops for a minute to take care of themselves while the rest of the world goes on. We have to, we have to manage that. Yeah. Well, yeah, we have to pick up the rest of it.
SPEAKER_02:Especially you, because Liv was in the hospital for like a few weeks, right? And so you're having to manage your household plus everything else, all the other stresses that were on you. So it it was a special situation even beyond the normal.
SPEAKER_04:On on top of waiting on her, you know, literally waiting on like what do you need? What do you need? What do you need? So it's like, but nope, nobody thinks about that because you can't physically see that that stress. You know, a woman going through birth, and you see, you understand they're going through, they're they're tired, they're, you know, you could tell that they're they're wore out.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:But the the husband, and we're not downplaying the the woman having to go through this because I can't imagine, you know.
SPEAKER_03:It's it's it's not comparable. It's two separate things. Right. That the the father and the mother go through. Uh, because again, the the woman produces a baby. That is that's producer's like the best way you could put it. Um one minute the baby is inside them, the next they're not.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, it's a it's a that's what we would tell Buffy when he was small and Jamie was pregnant with Sissy. It said, it's a bubble that's gonna pop. And that's when you get a baby. Ouch. Yeah. So they're a way to screw up. Well, I mean, that's all we had at the time, okay? And and once we had sissy, he comes in the room, he goes, I didn't get to see it pop, mom. We got a video of him saying that. I didn't get to see it pop. Yeah, yeah. But and and I'm no and nobody can nobody outside of that can understand what a woman goes through in that situation, and nobody can understand what a husband or father goes through in that situation. You know, all the stress that goes along with it because you're worried about your spouse. You're worried about what they're going through, how they're feeling, if they're okay, if they're gonna be fine, if the baby is healthy, if they're healthy, like on top of all the other stuff, leading your household, doing all these things. So the stress is through the roof, and you almost feel like ashamed to even show it because you have to be strong in the moment for your wife. Right. Because, oh, well, she's the one pregnant, so I've gotta, I've gotta be able to take on all this. And there's really no outlet, you know, for guy, every everybody on earth know, oh, post postpartum depression and all these different things that go on with a woman. Well, what about the guy, too? You know, there's another half of this that it's going into. And I wonder how many men go through depression and because of all this stress that comes along with it, and even post having a child, the man is still, you know, there's still a recovery time. There's still time that you have to, you know, on top of the intimacy pause after birth, you know, that goes on.
SPEAKER_02:I'm still semi-depressed most of the time. My youngest is seven. That's all I'm saying. How many months is that?
SPEAKER_04:612 months. Oh. But I I do, I wonder how many guys they don't have an outlet to say, man, this is stressful for me.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. You know, I think so many people try they try to compare it to the woman's experience. Yeah. There's one, you shouldn't, because it's two separate things. You're comparing apples to oranges. Yeah. It's two separate experiences. Because again, you have the woman like growing a baby inside her and then delivering that baby, yeah. Which whichever way they do it. Both physically traumatic. But again, at some point the the woman's world stops and all of her focus is on her health, on the baby's health. We have to we have to worry about everything else. The world still goes on, the bills still have to get paid. Yeah. And it we're it's we're s we're s we're sponges at that point. Yeah. We're we I'm absorbing every bit of stress, any kind of tedious housework, any whatever it is, it's now on me that I've gotta get done. And then again, on top of Liv was in the hospital for three and a half weeks before the babies were even delivered. So I'm driving to Cape. I'm I'm driving home and back to Cape every day. Yeah. And and I'm and I'm also it's not that I didn't want to ask for help, but it's that I wanted to bear that responsibility. Right. You don't want to have to need to ask for help. Yeah. I know I can ask for help, but I wanted to do it. And I'm her husband, I'm the kid's father. Right. I need to, as much as I can, bear that responsibility. Right.
SPEAKER_02:Well, that's the reason that we didn't we weren't overbearing with our with our ask for help. You know, if you need us, we're here. That's that's that's that was the message we had for you. So it wasn't because I get that, you know, wanting to wanting to wanting to do your part.
SPEAKER_04:And that's why I always tried to I I always lead with, hey, how's Liv doing? Oh, she's good. Okay, this is what the doctor's saying. Okay, cool. How are you? Like, how are you doing? Because I don't think a lot of people get to that point. It's it's well, how's how's the babies going? How's everything going? How's she doing? How's she doing? How's she doing? And I wanted to, okay, cool, she's okay, awesome. How are you doing? Like, what's going on with you? How are you doing? Are you is everything okay? What can I take off of you? What do you need me to do? What do you need us to do? That was the the day where I'm like, okay, we'll we'll figure this out. You go and do what you need to do, we'll figure something out at the house for you. To be able to just take something off of you because a lot of people don't think about that side of it. You know, they really don't. They think, oh, the woman, woman, one woman, and it rightfully so. We're not, again, Tyler said this. Apple swords. Yes, we are not comparing the two, right? But you also can't dismiss one.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_04:You know, so it's like men out there, husbands, dads, it is a tough job. Yeah. It really is. Uh, you're looked at as the leader, you're looked at as the strong one, and you've got to have it all together. Even in a crazy situation, you've got to have everything together.
SPEAKER_03:But also, but also you didn't give birth, so you're not doing anything.
SPEAKER_04:Right, right. And it's just like, it's just nonsense. And it unfortunately, it usually comes from a woman.
SPEAKER_03:Yes. That is.
SPEAKER_04:I could just guess that. Yes.
SPEAKER_03:Every every time I've heard something, it was from a woman.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Because again, you can't understand the other side. You'll never, you'll never hear a man with with sit with being actually serious say, oh, a woman going through prayer. That's easy. Right. You'll never hear that. Because we understand We understand it's hard. We just we just won't know. We won't know. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:So it's like we get it.
SPEAKER_04:But also, please understand that we're also going through it too.
SPEAKER_02:Right. Well, what drives me crazy is when because I was a single dad before me and Jennifer met. Yeah. You know, I was holding it down before Jennifer. Well, now, 16 years later, people act like I have no clue how to take care of my children. Right. Like, oh, you're with the kids by yourself? Like, yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Are they going to be okay? Like, yeah. I'm the opposite when Liv goes to the bathroom. I'm there. With the kids by myself. Don't cry.
SPEAKER_04:Liv hurry. Just keep them safe until she gets back.
SPEAKER_02:Is it number one or number two? I need to know what we're looking at.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I need to know how much number two, just take one of them with you. I didn't know how much time I got. That that's good though. I never thought about that aspect of it. You literally had kids raised. Oh, yeah. You know, by the time you got in into with Jennifer.
SPEAKER_02:So well, not raised by any means, but well, I was a single dad for probably a couple years before I before me and Jennifer got together. But but yeah, it's it's it's just nonsense. And I've been a dad longer than I haven't been a dad in my life. So I got this. I I know what I'm doing. And my mother's the worst. Telling you how to do how to raise my kids. Oh, yes. Yeah. I've I've raised more children than you. Yeah. I win. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:It's like, yeah, it's like, mom, I've got it. They're all the grown ones are safe and out and on their own. I've got it. I've I've figured this out by now.
SPEAKER_02:But to just discount any knowledge that that a that a man has based on the fact that he's a man is just nonsense.
SPEAKER_04:Do you think you'll ever feel like you live up as a dad?
SPEAKER_02:To what?
SPEAKER_04:To just expectations. To the to where you want to be, to where you think you should be, to expectations from your wife, expectations from people, expectations from society.
SPEAKER_02:Well it took me a long time to get to a point to where I know I was a good dad. Yeah. And we've talked about this, you know, some uh adult children, I wasn't saved when they were younger, and and and the the frustrations I've dealt with about that, but but I'm I'm at a point now to where I know that I'm a good dad.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:I don't have to convince anybody. I'm not going to convince anybody. If if if you believe a certain way, you're gonna believe it. So I'm not gonna waste time trying to convince either anybody else or myself anymore. I am a good dad. I know that. I know that because God has led me to be that.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Tyler, what about you? You think you'll ever live up to right now?
SPEAKER_03:No.
SPEAKER_00:It's like nope.
SPEAKER_03:My my big thing that I've been struggling with right now is sleep. Yeah. Because I feel guilty for sleeping. Right. Yeah. I don't I don't want to sleep, no matter how tired I am. Yeah. Because I feel like if I'm if I sleep, I'm lazy and making live take care of the babies.
SPEAKER_04:And that's a that's a dangerous place to be, man. It really is. It it's because then you're you're scared to do what naturally you need to do to take care of yourself. Right. That is a scary, scary place.
SPEAKER_02:Well, as much as you want to help it's it's the same metaphor you use about airplanes, you know, putting the mask on yourself first. You can't help live if you yourself are having a nervous breakdown. Right. And you will, dude.
SPEAKER_03:I mean it's Oh, I've had plenty already. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:If you let this stuff pile on you and not and don't have an outlet, don't have somebody to vent to to talk to, it'll it'll bury you.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. And I think that's where I got. That's where I got to with the guilt that I had with Aaliyah. Is where I just felt like I it was a period in my life, you know, we were so young when we had her, and it's not an excuse, but we were we were so young and still figuring ourselves out and still, you know, going through life. And it I I felt her for so many years on just it was about a two-year span where I was just a terrible dad.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:And and in that time, I I I did so poorly in her life and these in these important years in her life that for years afterwards, you're you're talking a decade ago, a decade and a half ago, I am still struggling with that thought and that feeling of being a failure in that in those moments.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Like she gets to come down, she gets to come down next month. And now I feel like I've gotten to a place with her where I'm just trying to spend time with her and and almost make up for the time lost that I wasn't there. And and part of it is to love on her because she really is like really close to us because we me, her, and Jamie all kind of grew up together. But mostly it's it's to try to prove to myself and prove to her that I am I am a good dad. Like that I am here for you because it's trying to make up for that lost time that that we lost in those few years. And I don't know if I'm ever gonna feel like I'm doing a good job because of because of not being able to go back and undo that.
SPEAKER_02:You could literally drive yourself crazy with the what ifs. I mean it it it's it's a tough thing to have to just deal with. And I've you know, I've been going through counseling. I don't know if I've said that on here or not, but I've been going through counseling for a little while now, and that's one of the things that we discovered about me this past Wednesday was my past trauma has caused me to have a have a hero complex. So now the times that I've allowed my children to walk over me and and giving them things that were not good for them, like saving them from themselves. Yeah, it was me trying to cover up my past, not necessarily trying to help them. So I thought that was pretty interesting.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Write that down.
SPEAKER_04:Write that down. So I think what we're trying to say is we have no idea what we're doing.
SPEAKER_02:That's not what we're saying.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, is that not?
SPEAKER_02:Oh that's not the message we want to put out there. I'm in that boat. Not only am I in that boat. I've got a paddle. I'm the one.
SPEAKER_03:I'm the one. I got the I got a ticket for that ship. What would it be? What not driving? What? Steering. Steering? Oh, I mean, I mean, I guess it what kind of boat? Is it like a like a like a power boat like that has a wheel or are you paddling? Would it be steering then if it has if it's got a wheel? What boat is it? If it it depends on the boat. I don't know. I said I had a paddle, so it might be a paddle boat. So if you're rowing, rowboat, then what are you doing? Are you steering? You're rowing.
SPEAKER_02:You row and you steer with the road.
SPEAKER_03:You row, row, row your boat gently down the river. Stream. That's not you can't rhyme.
SPEAKER_02:Uh but that's what's really cool about this particular panel is well, like well, we started out. You know, his are a month old, you know, we both have older children. I have a multitude of children. So you've got the spectrum of the age. I'm on the spectrum.
SPEAKER_04:So seven to what would you say the oldest? 26. Seven to twenty-six. Yeah. And 14 of them all together?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:My old think about that. And then a month.
SPEAKER_02:Well, yeah, and it's it's it's just really cool to hear the different perspectives of of parenthood, you know. Yeah. And it's I mean, it it's just things you and I'm not saying by any means that I know everything, but I've I've I've seen a lot.
SPEAKER_04:Was it harder being a father with with uh you know through through multiple marriages? Was that was that a difficult kind of Yes.
SPEAKER_02:Because and it was so when I went through divorces it wasn't that I didn't think about what my kids thought. It was that kids are resilient and will and we'll it's one of those things where you weigh it. If it's better for kids to be in a marriage that you can tell that you can't stand each other, or if it's better to be apart and to raise the kids the way they need to be raised.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. You get in a situation where you have to pick the lesser two.
SPEAKER_02:Right. So it was it was hard. And I I mean I've I've I've told everybody this that well, listen, I was a terrible husband to my to my former wives. I really was. And that's that's because I didn't know what love was until God told me.
SPEAKER_04:I've always wondered, like, that would be so hard. You know, just thinking about my own kids and thinking about them being away from me for s you know, even every other week or whatever. It's you know, that that had to be a whole nother level of of toughness being a dad and being able to to kind of maneuver through that. Because like we said, it's it's such a gambit. Like Tyler and Liv were married for three years, four years before y'all had the twins, right? Me and Jamie weren't married, we were in high school, but we got married soon after, and all of our kids are all together. And then so it's a different right, it's such a different thing, you know, such a different journey for each of us in fatherhood, you know, because you which you started early too. You started at what, 16 as well, right?
SPEAKER_02:17, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:17. So it is, it's such a different kind of avenue. Because I I just I remember the night before because they induced Jamie. I remember the night before, like, we're gonna induce her tomorrow morning. And I remember laying in the chapel because they wouldn't let me in the room, you know, overnight because we wasn't we weren't married. Right. Scared to death. No idea what I'm no idea what I'm about to walk into, no clue whatsoever. And just having to figure things out as we go. And how Tyler, at least you've got you've got that. Y'all are home together, y'all've got that, you're married, you're in it together, you know. We had to figure it out kind of separate. We weren't living together, so we're kind of juggling this thing back and forth and trying to figure it out. But it's crazy how each of those paths have different ups and downs, different struggles, different types of things, you know. So um being a dad is difficult and and sometimes you just gotta you gotta figure out what works for you. There's no right fit.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_04:You know, there's no right, okay, here's what you do and here's what you don't do, you know, it's finding your That's what that's what that's one thing I've learned about uh just babies in general.
SPEAKER_03:Um with how new I am to babies, because I didn't grow up around babies or anything, so I don't really have any experience with babies. Yeah, you know um you almost think there's a correct way of doing things like uh like uh when they told us uh when uh when Ezra is getting discharged, uh you know, make sure you're you know safe sleep. He's in his bassinet, firm, nothing in there, swaddled. He he they don't do that. Right, they will they will not sleep if they are swaddled or in their bassinet. Isn't that a weird word? Swaddled swaddled, yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:It always bothered the crap out of me to watch my kid get swaddled because I'm claustrophobic. Yeah. So it it looks terrifying to me. They're all bundled up like a burrito. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:But it's like they like, okay, yeah, I'll do it, but do you not want them to sleep? Right. Because they won't sleep there. Now, I put a blanket on the couch and you know, make sure they're not gonna roll or anything and and they're good, they're not gonna get smothered by anything. They'll sleep a good two and a half, three hours. Yeah, is that cool?
SPEAKER_04:Right, right, yeah. It's like trying to find. And I told you the story about with Aaliyah, we had to turn on a vacuum, yeah, yeah, just to get her to go to sleep. I mean, we we were trying to figure out anything we could, and that was just something that somebody, hey, try some soothing noise in the back, like a vacuum cleaner. And so we plugged one in. We bought a vacuum just for yeah, it never got used as a vacuum cleaner, just turn it on.
SPEAKER_03:I don't know why I've thought about this. It's like you have some guy just in another room just screaming, just constantly.
SPEAKER_04:You're doing great, Rick. Keep it up. I'm getting tired in here. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:They're still sleeping. Keep going.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, that's what we had to do. And and and it is, it's it's trial and error. And it's we didn't do we tried a crib and a bassinet, and it lasted 25 minutes.
SPEAKER_03:Well, and it's yeah, ours didn't even last five, maybe.
SPEAKER_02:Like, nope. And you need to take parenting advice, yeah, and and just try it. If it doesn't work, don't worry about it. Right. A lot of people are, oh my god, it didn't that didn't work. Some people are so convinced that their way is the right way. Oh my gosh, yes. Yes. But did you do it this way? Yeah, this way I did it.
SPEAKER_03:Like cool, and that worked for you. That is almost the crappy part too, because no two no one or two babies are the same. Yeah. It's you know, all these different combinations of things are going to be different for one baby as opposed to another. Yeah. So it's like, uh, you know, maybe this baby will sleep in their bassinet. Right. But they can't be swaddled. But but maybe this baby will sleep in the bassinet swaddled. Yeah. But and this baby needs white noise, but this baby it gets fussy with the white noise. Now it's and it's uh that's the part where I'm like, I just wish there's a freaking name. Yeah, yeah. Just like what do I do? Do I where's where do the batteries go? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it seems like when they get fussy, I guess that that means the batteries are low. Maybe batteries are they rechargeable. Right.
SPEAKER_04:Um and it and it is just remembering that you're you're doing great even when you don't feel like it.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_04:You know, it because there's some bad ones out there. There are some bad, and there's there's great fathers that do parts of fatherhood poorly. My dad was a great father, but he was he is he is very bad at a lot that comes with fatherhood. Right. But he makes up for it in other areas. So I he's still a great dad. It's just he lacks in certain areas. I think that it has a lot to do with our temperament, it has a lot to do with how we were raised, yeah, what we learned, you know. So you can't beat yourself up, just be the best you can where you can.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:You know, some dads are are very strict, but very loving. Right. Some dads are not strict at all, you know, and it just you you you make up for where you can, because nobody's gonna have it all together at all times anyway.
SPEAKER_03:So that goes that goes to the importance of having a two-parent household and those two parents being a mother and a father. Yep. Because they're uh I remember um someone was talking to I think I think it might have been Steve Harvey. Uh yeah, it was Steve Harvey. And this woman like asked him a question, whatever. She's like, How do I tell my husband I think he's being too hard on the kids? And he was and he was like, Is he beating them? Are they no, is he physically abusing them? Is he verbally abusing them? No. He said, Well, let him be a father, right? Yeah, you be the mother, yeah, let him be the father. Yep.
SPEAKER_02:Well, and just being there. You're already better than a lot of dads. Right, right. Just showing up. Yep. I mean, I I did not have a good dad because he just wasn't there. And so just being in their lives, make being there to make mistakes is huge. You know, learn from those mistakes and move on.
SPEAKER_04:Man, that's something you see like like at a at a you know elementary singing or a basketball game, when you see them light up when they see that you're there, like you know, they're looking for you, and then they they see you. And I mean, you see them light up, you understand just how important it is to be present and to be there. Oh, okay. It really is. I want I I want to tell y'all what what Zeke told me a few days ago. There's some times where we're just driving, and he just opens up. He just starts talking.
SPEAKER_05:Right.
SPEAKER_04:And he opened up, he said, he said, Dad, I want to tell you like my ideal night. I'm like, okay, cool. So okay, I've got a basketball game, and I'm out warming up, and I look in the stands, and I see you and mom there, and I see grandma and Jay and Papa Frank and Tyler and Liv and Richard and all his family are all there watching.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:He said, I get so pumped up and so excited, and I'm gonna try to score 50 because all of y'all are there. He said, That's my perfect night. One point for each of us.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_04:And 30 for the Rainbow Kids.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:And it just, it, it, it just kind of dawned on me in that moment, just like he understands who is there for him and who is not. He sees that and he he he takes that to heart, you know, and it's like, man, that that sounds like a good night, buddy.
SPEAKER_02:Well, like, because we come to church earlier than our families do generally. So when they see when they sorry. Squirrel Tyler was off there for a second. That was the how I met your mother thing. His battery messed up too.
SPEAKER_03:Yep.
SPEAKER_02:But when they come in and my kids see me and they run to me and hug me, and I mean, that's it's it's worth a million dollars. I mean, it's it's amazing just to be wanted like that.
SPEAKER_03:Can you catch that?
SPEAKER_02:Boy, that'd be nice. Man, that'd be nice, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Well, and that's what we say, you know, when I may not be money rich, but I'm rich.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:You know, he is rich. That's rich.
SPEAKER_02:Rich. Big rich.
SPEAKER_00:Rich you rich.
SPEAKER_04:77. Dox them.
SPEAKER_02:I don't even have an Xbox anymore. So yeah. Thanks for bringing it up. Whoop-de-woo.
SPEAKER_04:Well, that'll transition us right into that's what's up.
SPEAKER_02:Sure. I sold my Xbox.
SPEAKER_04:No more Xbox is gone. What was the book series you were telling me about? You're like in the fourth book or something now.
SPEAKER_02:Cyber Dream series. I've talked about it on here before, but it's it's written by a I think it's a lady named Plum Parrot or something like that. I forgot what her name was.
SPEAKER_04:What a name.
SPEAKER_02:It's a little weird, yeah. But it's a it's a really it's a dystopian future. Uh, but it's AI is just the world runs on AI. Yeah. I mean, it's which Earth is destroyed and we live in other, you know, we live on other planets and the moon. And anyway, it's it's a really good book series. And uh I I just finished book three. Nice. So I'm getting book four soon.
SPEAKER_03:I seen I seen a post on Facebook talking about oh, AI is gonna take our jobs, whatever. And there was like a it was like the chat conversation with someone in chat GBT, and they're like, hey, add this person to this photo, and it was just botching it every time. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Like, okay. Yeah, it's a it's still terrible. Yeah, it's like, no, it's pretty bad.
SPEAKER_02:In this particular book series, they it's they have PAI, which is personal artificial intelligence, in their heads. Yeah. And they they can talk to it and it's it it it it's like Google in their heads. Yeah, it's just really a cool concept.
SPEAKER_04:I love the AI talk, yeah, because it's like, how many times do you try to tech uh speak to text and it completely messes it up? Like, I think we're I think we're just fine printing out the it's gonna be a while before we have to worry about cyber dying or anything.
SPEAKER_03:Yep. You might as well be talking to someone in Spanish on tech support. You're not gonna get nowhere.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, it's like this is not at all what I said. Yeah. Anything else you got going on, Richie Rich?
SPEAKER_02:I don't think so. I'm ready for Christmas. I'm so ready for Christmas.
SPEAKER_04:I'm pumped, man.
SPEAKER_02:But no, I don't have anything else.
SPEAKER_04:Tata, what you got?
SPEAKER_03:Um He's a dad. No. I've got a lot. Okay. I've got a lot. You've been busy, I've got I ain't got nothing. Also, let me let me talk about this real quick. Um because I read somewhere that you know, when you know your wife, whoever, the mother of your children gives birth, that the like the dads go through some kind of hormonal changes too. Yes. Y'all know I d I don't cry. Yes. You do now. When well, especially especially when Ezra was in the NICU. Yeah. I cried three hours straight. Yeah. And I was actually starting to get worried. Yeah. I I tried to warn you.
SPEAKER_04:I tried to warn you this was gonna happen. Because it and you can't explain you can't you could try to put it into words for people until it happened, until you see your kids. Yeah. Your life just kind of I'm not saying you can't have a great life. There's some people that can't have kids. I'm not saying any of that. What I'm saying is like something happens to you when you see this child. You level up. Oh my goodness. It's like you everything switches from me to I'm gonna do anything I can for this. I will fight a bear. I'm telling you. Absolutely. So it it changes, it really does. It really does. So it's it's a good change. Yes, yeah, absolutely. Because it it makes you understand how precious life is. It really and how special life is, and just how it just changes your whole world. It really does. Your outlook on everything. It really does. That's good to hear. Come on.
SPEAKER_02:Emma spent six weeks in the NICU when she was. I cannot imagine. Yeah. It was it was hard, dude. It was it was yeah, it was very hard.
SPEAKER_03:And like with with Ezra, it wasn't it wasn't anything spectacular uh I would call him a the the mildest case on that floor that week. Because all it it was just he he was hypothermic or yeah, hypothermic. Yeah. Um that was really it. Yeah. And seeing him just in that plastic box with a feeding tube in his nose broke capital B. Yeah. Actually, all caps. All caps, the whole caps, yeah, broke me. Yeah. I felt physically broken. Well, good. And I hated it. Welcome, welcome to the club.
SPEAKER_04:You're a crier now. Yes. It isn't just it's just us, Rich.
SPEAKER_02:Um, uh, yeah. I got nothing because I don't care. I I do not hide my tears.
SPEAKER_04:That's right. Oh, sissy got me with that letter. I ain't gonna lie. It ooh, boy. Um, so anyway, on on for my That's What's Up, a lot of things. Number one, uh, we I watched life, not the one with Martin Lawrence, but it's a good movie. The one with uh Ryan Reynolds. It's about the alien in space. They like find a little a little piece of life and they bring it and it turns into this thing. Really, really good. Great movie. It's kind of a kind of a sci-fi thriller. Not really. It's not super old, it's maybe five years old, something like that. I don't think I've ever heard of it. It's really good. Really, really good. Uh I think it's got uh, who all has it got in it? Jake Jalen Hall. It's got a it's got a pretty big cast. Is it Ryan Reynolds? Yes. Yep. Yeah, it's really, really good. It's it's it's based in space and uh in space. So it did that. Um so I got that. Three days until the last and final season. I guess last and final would be the same thing, um, of Stranger Things comes out in three days. It is going down like a sweet muffin. I don't know what that means, but it's gonna be awesome and great and wonderful. Hide your muffins. Yes, hide your muffins because they're gonna be sweet. Um also been playing, okay. Wait on it, wait on it. Hey, Majong. Wait on it.
unknown:What?
SPEAKER_04:I have been playing Roller Coaster Tycoon. Oh my gosh. Y'all remember that game? Remember that game? Dude, yeah, buddy. Playing some roller coaster tycoon.
SPEAKER_03:I played that once when I was a kid. Yeah. Y'all remember the Oregon Trail?
SPEAKER_04:And I stopped at that one time. Yep. So I've been playing that. And then uh I've been playing Hogwarts, been playing that a little bit. Yeah, a little bit of persona. Um I my I'm not gonna say movie of the year because that's a little bit crazy. One of my top ten movies I've seen in probably about five years. I watched, we're gonna watch it this week. Frankenstein. Yeah, you just absolutely did you cry banger at Frankenstein?
SPEAKER_03:No.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, because he did. So I was just wondering.
SPEAKER_03:No.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, you're not. Why are you putting my business in the streets?
SPEAKER_03:It's it's what I I'm not I'm not there when it anything else, I'm yeah. Statue. Okay. My kids though. Yeah, yeah. You might as well just rip my heart off my chest and stomp on it. It was it was great. It was good. It was really good. It was great, man. The just the storytelling, I guess. Yeah, I have not seen it. It was it was really good. Yeah, I and I and and it's not a spoiler anything, but I like that the monster is able to tell from his perspective. And and it was very poetic. It really was.
SPEAKER_04:It was very, it was like not renaissance, but like, dude, it's it's so good, man. It really, I was and it's a Netflix movie.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, like original.
SPEAKER_04:It is great, like great, great. I'm like, afterward, I'm like, babe.
SPEAKER_02:So this is not Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.
SPEAKER_04:No, I'm like, this is fantastic.
SPEAKER_03:Mary Shelley does not make an appearance. Yeah, it was it was so good. It's uh was it Victor von Frankenstein that says that? Victor von Frankenstein, yeah. It is really good.
SPEAKER_04:Oh my gosh, it's it's we should watch it tonight. We're gonna watch it Wednesday. We're gonna watch it Wednesday. You should watch it tonight. Yeah. That would upset him thoroughly. Yes, it would. Dude, it's it's so good, man. And it was just one of those movies that the way that they made it, the way the storytelling was, is just kind of unlike anything they're doing right now.
SPEAKER_03:And I'm like, it's it's a very standout movie from the rest of their movies. So good movies.
SPEAKER_02:Did you ever watch the Adam Project with Ryan Reynolds?
SPEAKER_04:I don't think.
SPEAKER_03:I know Liv did.
SPEAKER_02:It's a really good movie. It's a I think it's a Ryan Reynolds. Yeah, that's sound.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, that sounds familiar.
SPEAKER_02:But it's really, really it's a gravel car.
SPEAKER_03:I was about to say, isn't it like he goes in the past to help his like 10-year-old self like that? It's really good.
SPEAKER_04:Started watching, I think it's called End Time. It's got um Justin Timberlake in it. It's where they He brought sexy back. They hit he did. Yep.
SPEAKER_01:I don't know what it is.
SPEAKER_03:They got like on the on their arm.
SPEAKER_04:Yes, I've seen I haven't seen it, but I I've never talked about you remember it, you know. I've never seen it, but I know what you're talking about. So I started watching that again. It's pretty good. It's a good concept on how you would act if you've seen, if you physically seen how much time you have left.
SPEAKER_03:I don't know why they remind me of that movie uh what's it called Jumper with uh heads. Yeah, that's a good one. I don't think I've seen that before. That's a good one. Yeah, it's a good watch. Teleport.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, he's got a he's got a power where he can teleport from one place. If you if he could see it and think about it, he could teleport. It'd be pretty handy. And it's really cool.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, it's really oh it's cool because they they did like a fight scene. Yeah, with two people that could do that.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, it was pretty neat.
SPEAKER_02:So they didn't have to like check baggage or anything when they exactly it's pretty handy.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, just there, out. Yeah, it's a good one.
SPEAKER_02:That's how Jennifer wants to travel. She likes to travel, but don't like to travel.
SPEAKER_04:Right. I love to travel, but it's really just the places I'm at. Like I don't think. Hold on, hold on.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I don't want to do the traveling. I just want to be there.
SPEAKER_02:It's like I don't think you understand. I'm the opposite. I like the road trip. Yeah. Especially because it's all the places I get to eat on the way.
SPEAKER_04:Mashed potatoes on your chair. Yep. Yep.
SPEAKER_02:Clean that up later.
SPEAKER_04:Well, yeah, so I've got those, and then um oh, and then I'm super pumped. So Steam, I don't know if y'all know what Steam is. It's a it's a video game platform that where you can you can play games on on your computer. Well, they announced uh last week or the week before they are making a console. So they're making a Steam machine like a video game console.
SPEAKER_02:That like gets wrinkles out, Steam.
SPEAKER_04:Not that kind of Steam. Wow. I can't with y'all too, man.
SPEAKER_03:I was watching uh I was watching was it Raw the other night? Yeah. It was it was John Cena's last uh night on Raw. Um Little Yachty was there, little Lil Yachty was there, like in the camera, you know, got on him, and he was playing uh SmackDown versus Raw like 2009 on the PSP. I was like, that's so cool.
SPEAKER_04:Wow. Um Jamie bought me a PSP for Christmas one year, and I took it to work and it got stolen the day after.
SPEAKER_02:Shouldn't have took it to work.
SPEAKER_04:You right, I guess, apparently.
SPEAKER_02:Child anyways at the wood.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Yet another reason you shouldn't have worked there.
SPEAKER_04:It got stolen, just yanked up. Got yoinked. Yeah. Yeeted. But yeah, that's about that's about it, I think. I haven't been in a theater. I haven't been in a theater in a while, but I'm wanting to go over over Christmas, Thanksgiving break. Basketball starting up, that's happening as well. Uh super excited. Our first game is on December the first. Um, we're we're gonna be, we're gonna have a good team. We're gonna have I'm I'm excited. Uh we and Zayle's cheering. And Zay's cheering, yep. Yep. Yeah, we finally get to see her cheer come to a game. Yeah. So she so they only cheer at home games, so they'll only be the home games, but we will be at the home games. Yep. But yeah, we so we uh we schedule some big schools. Like we we play Jonesboro. We schedule some big schools because we want to we really want to get challenged. Yeah, but we we've got we've got a really, really good team. So we look forward to this this season coming up. So it's gonna be good, man.
SPEAKER_05:Very good.
SPEAKER_04:Pretty excited. I got to work with with junior high a little bit, so I've been in the gym kind of kind of helping work with them a little bit on on uh on our morning practices. It's awesome, man. They have a they have a great program here, so I'm excited to be just to be a part of it. Yeah. For Bubba to be in it.
SPEAKER_02:That's what I was wanting for Zane and Blaze is is to possibly move here and be a part of that.
SPEAKER_04:But it's I mean, they they they take it very seriously. Yeah. I mean, just great coaches. They're the way they coach, because I've been around a bunch of coaches, and you kind of see how everybody coached the way that these guys do it is just so commendable and respectful the way that they coach. Yeah, so I really love it, man. I think Coach Mills and Coach Stucks and Coach Mason, I think they're they're great. They're great. They really are.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I can't wait to see Tristan coach. Yeah, he's gonna be like that too. He's gonna be a really good coach.
SPEAKER_04:Yep, so I can't say enough about him, man. I'm I'm I'm just excited. My kids suck at basketball. Can't dribble or nothing. Dribble on their shirt. That's about it.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, that gum.
SPEAKER_02:I I worry about Blaze because he's deaf. Yeah, I don't want him to have limitations, but he he is going to have limitations. Right. But I don't know.
SPEAKER_04:And he can get past that. I had a I had that buddy I was telling you about that his older son was in college and he had the cochlear implant and all that. Uh he played baseball. Yeah. So he he made it to to college playing baseball, so he can do it.
SPEAKER_03:It's just kind of getting you're you're talking about that, and I started thinking about this Disney movie. Um, but it was a it was a blind guy, and I was thinking, oh, well, they can just put bells on the on and I was like, wait, wrong disability. Sorry. Yeah, no. What? It was uh it was a blind guy. It was uh uh it was going to the Matt uh had uh one of the Lawrence brothers, which it was a wrestling movie, but he played basketball in the movie too, and they had like a bell, or no, they had a it was a it was like some kind of thing that made a beeping sound. They had it on the back of the rim.
SPEAKER_02:As if he could hear that in the middle of a game. Right. Come on now.
SPEAKER_03:Well, I didn't produce the movie. You can show his movie. It's not my movie. Credits roll produced by Tyler What was it?
SPEAKER_04:We need to talk to Tyler. This is dumb. What are you doing? What are you doing?
SPEAKER_02:Anyway, that was a good segue into nothing. Yeah, thanks for that.
SPEAKER_03:I don't talk much anymore.
SPEAKER_04:It's like I'm excited to be here. That's what I talk to y'all.
SPEAKER_03:The majority of my conversations are Did you poop anybody? Did you poop? No, I don't talk to my kids like that. You know, like like sometimes, but like if like I'll be holding them in the like fart or something. It's like Daggum boy. That was on my hand.
SPEAKER_04:Something else I'm looking forward to. Freaking Ezra Pete on my hand the other day. They're in they're in talks with uh they're in talks with this gonna gloss over. They're in talks with Andrew Lincoln again about coming back to Walking Dead. I seen um oh gosh, what is the name place? Daryl Dixon.
SPEAKER_02:Yep, Norman Reedus.
SPEAKER_04:Norman Reedis. He officially signed off on Instagram. He said, Well, he said, Deuces, I've just finished my last scene. It's Daryl Dixon, it's been a ride, like wrote this whole thing. Yeah, so hopefully they figure something out and can you know wrap it, wrap it up together.
SPEAKER_03:I wouldn't even say the episode. The only part of Walking Dead I ever saw was when the Asian guy got his head beaten.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, uh that was when I stopped watching it. I was sick to my stomach when that happened. Yeah, that's crazy. Spoiler alert. Right, y'all.
SPEAKER_03:Well, it's it's kind of like everybody should know. Yeah. Well, and it was in the either you've watched it or you or you haven't, and you're not going to. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:See, I but Daryl was always my favorite character. Yeah. Uh Rick was cool, but Daryl was where it was at.
SPEAKER_03:I liked zombie number 37. And Daryl was not.
SPEAKER_02:This is why he's not allowed to talk to people anymore.
SPEAKER_04:And Daryl was not in the comics.
SPEAKER_02:Is that right like his character? Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Yeah, so it was so good.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:That's about it. What else y'all got on your heart? Mind slash. Man, y'all are awesome. I appreciate y'all.
SPEAKER_03:That's how y'all the story about when uh uh Esther's pooped and got on my hand. I think so. That was pretty funny.
SPEAKER_04:I'll save it for another time. Well, that's a crappy outro.
