{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":21.87,"endTime":23.789,"body":"Welcome back to Slice of Pie,"},{"startTime":23.856,"endTime":25.41,"body":"where we explore the"},{"startTime":25.476,"endTime":27.3,"body":"complexities of living with"},{"startTime":27.366,"endTime":28.71,"body":"primary immune deficiency."},{"startTime":29.67,"endTime":31.14,"body":"I am really excited for"},{"startTime":31.206,"endTime":33.99,"body":"today's episode, which explores"},{"startTime":34.56,"endTime":35.789,"body":"self care in all the"},{"startTime":35.856,"endTime":38.1,"body":"complexities of that word."},{"startTime":39.81,"endTime":41.189,"body":"I am happy to be"},{"startTime":41.429,"endTime":43.399,"body":"joined by Nicole."},{"startTime":43.53,"endTime":44.28,"body":"Hello, Nicole."},{"startTime":44.67,"endTime":45.189,"body":"Hi."},{"startTime":45.81,"endTime":47.1,"body":"I thank you for"},{"startTime":47.166,"endTime":48.57,"body":"joining the podcast."},{"startTime":49.02,"endTime":50.399,"body":"I'm really excited to hear"},{"startTime":50.466,"endTime":51.6,"body":"about your experiences"},{"startTime":51.666,"endTime":52.6,"body":"with health care."},{"startTime":52.859,"endTime":54.299,"body":"I'm wondering before we get"},{"startTime":54.366,"endTime":56.789,"body":"into that, though, could you"},{"startTime":56.856,"endTime":59.31,"body":"briefly tell us about yourself?"},{"startTime":60.45,"endTime":61.17,"body":"All right."},{"startTime":61.59,"endTime":62.189,"body":"I'm Nicole."},{"startTime":63.78,"endTime":64.79,"body":"I'm thirty one."},{"startTime":64.98,"endTime":68.849,"body":"I live in Langley, B.C., and I"},{"startTime":68.916,"endTime":70.219,"body":"am a X-ray"},{"startTime":70.286,"endTime":71.9,"body":"and mammography technologies."},{"startTime":71.966,"endTime":72.75,"body":"So I work in the"},{"startTime":72.816,"endTime":73.799,"body":"health care field."},{"startTime":74.4,"endTime":76.17,"body":"I have two dogs,"},{"startTime":77.579,"endTime":78.719,"body":"one big one little."},{"startTime":78.786,"endTime":80.43,"body":"So they run our lives."},{"startTime":80.909,"endTime":84.34,"body":"And I have been diagnosed with"},{"startTime":84.9,"endTime":86.18,"body":"since I was 19."},{"startTime":86.28,"endTime":88.95,"body":"So about 12 years now that's"},{"startTime":89.159,"endTime":91.23,"body":"that's earlier than then."},{"startTime":91.296,"endTime":92.25,"body":"Often what I hear."},{"startTime":92.709,"endTime":93.48,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":93.989,"endTime":94.56,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":95.049,"endTime":97.739,"body":"Is I was really lucky to be"},{"startTime":97.806,"endTime":98.719,"body":"diagnosed really quick."},{"startTime":98.786,"endTime":100.109,"body":"It usually takes quite a few"},{"startTime":100.176,"endTime":101.939,"body":"years for some people to"},{"startTime":102.006,"endTime":103.23,"body":"get that diagnosis."},{"startTime":103.296,"endTime":104.64,"body":"But being in health care kind"},{"startTime":104.706,"endTime":106.17,"body":"of helped me out a little bit"},{"startTime":106.409,"endTime":107.629,"body":"with getting through."},{"startTime":108.06,"endTime":108.92,"body":"So yeah."},{"startTime":109.239,"endTime":109.739,"body":"Mhm."},{"startTime":110.849,"endTime":111.75,"body":"And actually I wanted"},{"startTime":111.816,"endTime":112.316,"body":"to follow up."},{"startTime":112.383,"endTime":113.43,"body":"You said you were"},{"startTime":113.849,"endTime":116.719,"body":"X-ray mammography technician."},{"startTime":116.849,"endTime":119.01,"body":"I'm wondering what drew you to"},{"startTime":119.076,"endTime":120.209,"body":"that career in particular."},{"startTime":121.019,"endTime":124.019,"body":"So weirdly enough, in high"},{"startTime":124.086,"endTime":128.34,"body":"school grade 10 11, I started"},{"startTime":128.406,"endTime":129.479,"body":"thinking about what I wanted to"},{"startTime":129.546,"endTime":132.81,"body":"do after school and I always"},{"startTime":132.876,"endTime":133.8,"body":"knew I wanted to do something"},{"startTime":133.866,"endTime":134.96,"body":"to help people, but kind"},{"startTime":135.026,"endTime":135.9,"body":"of wasn't sure."},{"startTime":136.319,"endTime":139.68,"body":"My lovely mom went on line and"},{"startTime":139.746,"endTime":142.229,"body":"one day gave me three different"},{"startTime":142.296,"endTime":143.699,"body":"jobs that she thought that I"},{"startTime":143.766,"endTime":145.909,"body":"would like doing and she"},{"startTime":145.976,"endTime":147.12,"body":"knows me well."},{"startTime":147.449,"endTime":149.789,"body":"So one of these jobs was"},{"startTime":149.856,"endTime":151.56,"body":"medical radiation technology,"},{"startTime":151.626,"endTime":152.169,"body":"which is that"},{"startTime":154.259,"endTime":156.689,"body":"I did I did a work experience"},{"startTime":156.756,"endTime":158.52,"body":"program through high school and"},{"startTime":158.586,"endTime":161.28,"body":"grade 11, convinced a local"},{"startTime":161.699,"endTime":163.139,"body":"X-ray clinic to let me"},{"startTime":163.379,"endTime":164.819,"body":"volunteer there as part of"},{"startTime":164.886,"endTime":167.52,"body":"my program, ended up absolutely"},{"startTime":167.586,"endTime":171.27,"body":"loving it and applying for the"},{"startTime":171.336,"endTime":172.83,"body":"program and getting in straight"},{"startTime":172.896,"endTime":174.349,"body":"out of high school and"},{"startTime":174.479,"endTime":176.25,"body":"weirdly enough, full circle."},{"startTime":176.53,"endTime":177.87,"body":"That is where I work now."},{"startTime":179.93,"endTime":183.21,"body":"So it was very meant to be."},{"startTime":183.276,"endTime":186.27,"body":"But yeah, I, I love everything"},{"startTime":186.336,"endTime":187.86,"body":"about my profession and have"},{"startTime":187.926,"endTime":189.659,"body":"loved it since the first day."},{"startTime":189.726,"endTime":191.069,"body":"I was kind of exposed to it."},{"startTime":191.61,"endTime":192.93,"body":"It you say it's a"},{"startTime":192.996,"endTime":194.939,"body":"weird chance, I suspect,"},{"startTime":195.006,"endTime":196.77,"body":"that you worked hard for"},{"startTime":196.836,"endTime":197.469,"body":"it and."},{"startTime":197.536,"endTime":198.509,"body":"Yes, yeah,"},{"startTime":200.099,"endTime":200.599,"body":"yeah."},{"startTime":200.699,"endTime":202.52,"body":"It wasn't a lot of hard work"},{"startTime":202.586,"endTime":203.879,"body":"went into it, but it's kind of"},{"startTime":204.27,"endTime":206.009,"body":"hard to come full circle."},{"startTime":206.37,"endTime":207.87,"body":"And what is fun about"},{"startTime":207.936,"endTime":208.86,"body":"your your job."},{"startTime":209.919,"endTime":210.759,"body":"Oh boy."},{"startTime":210.826,"endTime":212.969,"body":"I can talk forever about my"},{"startTime":213.036,"endTime":216.87,"body":"profession and specifically I"},{"startTime":217.05,"endTime":218.669,"body":"specialize in breast imaging."},{"startTime":218.736,"endTime":220.949,"body":"So I do a screening and"},{"startTime":221.016,"endTime":223.979,"body":"diagnostic mammography and I do"},{"startTime":224.046,"endTime":225.0,"body":"a lot of volunteering"},{"startTime":225.066,"endTime":225.9,"body":"around that too."},{"startTime":226.259,"endTime":229.229,"body":"And I think that what we do is"},{"startTime":229.296,"endTime":232.59,"body":"so important and I feel so"},{"startTime":232.656,"endTime":233.789,"body":"lucky to get to be in the"},{"startTime":233.856,"endTime":235.439,"body":"position that I am to be able"},{"startTime":235.506,"endTime":239.129,"body":"to be kind of that person to"},{"startTime":239.196,"endTime":240.599,"body":"help people in the first line"},{"startTime":240.666,"endTime":241.409,"body":"of their journey"},{"startTime":241.71,"endTime":243.15,"body":"with breast cancer."},{"startTime":243.96,"endTime":245.58,"body":"We are literally the people"},{"startTime":245.646,"endTime":246.629,"body":"that find it."},{"startTime":247.49,"endTime":248.74,"body":"It is up to us to be"},{"startTime":248.806,"endTime":251.789,"body":"the educator, to be taking"},{"startTime":251.856,"endTime":254.009,"body":"people through what is a"},{"startTime":254.076,"endTime":257.209,"body":"very comfortable, you know,"},{"startTime":257.37,"endTime":259.11,"body":"having to undress in front of a"},{"startTime":259.176,"endTime":261.569,"body":"stranger and be manipulated in"},{"startTime":261.636,"endTime":263.04,"body":"very interesting ways,"},{"startTime":264.12,"endTime":265.589,"body":"very scary for a lot"},{"startTime":265.656,"endTime":266.459,"body":"of people."},{"startTime":267.089,"endTime":269.16,"body":"So to get an opportunity to"},{"startTime":269.226,"endTime":272.04,"body":"gain people's trust, to be able"},{"startTime":272.106,"endTime":273.209,"body":"to educate them and to be a"},{"startTime":273.276,"endTime":273.776,"body":"part of their"},{"startTime":273.843,"endTime":275.37,"body":"journey is amazing."},{"startTime":275.639,"endTime":277.85,"body":"And I find it so rewarding to"},{"startTime":277.916,"endTime":279.87,"body":"say I love every day that I get"},{"startTime":279.936,"endTime":280.439,"body":"to do it."},{"startTime":280.829,"endTime":283.079,"body":"And you spoke to your journey"},{"startTime":283.379,"endTime":284.879,"body":"like being a part of"},{"startTime":284.946,"endTime":286.11,"body":"a patient's journey."},{"startTime":286.29,"endTime":287.91,"body":"I'm wondering what your journey"},{"startTime":287.976,"endTime":289.379,"body":"as a patient has been"},{"startTime":289.446,"endTime":291.0,"body":"like since diagnosis."},{"startTime":291.066,"endTime":291.959,"body":"Just kind of can you give us a"},{"startTime":292.026,"endTime":293.41,"body":"brief overview of, like,"},{"startTime":293.759,"endTime":296.79,"body":"your journey thus far?"},{"startTime":296.856,"endTime":298.529,"body":"The past 12 years?"},{"startTime":300.329,"endTime":301.97,"body":"It's been a roller coaster."},{"startTime":303.1,"endTime":304.8,"body":"I'm starting out."},{"startTime":304.866,"endTime":307.17,"body":"And I was very sick or I guess"},{"startTime":307.236,"endTime":307.99,"body":"I've been sick for a"},{"startTime":308.056,"endTime":308.67,"body":"very long time."},{"startTime":308.736,"endTime":310.139,"body":"But when I was at my absolute"},{"startTime":310.206,"endTime":311.819,"body":"worst was actually when I was"},{"startTime":311.886,"endTime":313.319,"body":"finishing up my degree and I"},{"startTime":313.386,"endTime":314.399,"body":"was in my final"},{"startTime":314.466,"endTime":317.399,"body":"practicum stages, I was a"},{"startTime":317.466,"endTime":318.81,"body":"vegetable at times,"},{"startTime":318.876,"endTime":320.459,"body":"sometimes sleeping in immerge."},{"startTime":320.699,"endTime":322.23,"body":"Up to five years and"},{"startTime":322.296,"endTime":323.399,"body":"antibiotics and everything,"},{"startTime":323.466,"endTime":324.839,"body":"just so that I can make it"},{"startTime":324.906,"endTime":325.889,"body":"through the next day."},{"startTime":327.87,"endTime":331.259,"body":"It was a lot of having to fight"},{"startTime":331.326,"endTime":333.48,"body":"for myself and"},{"startTime":335.129,"endTime":337.17,"body":"or I should say my mom fighting"},{"startTime":337.236,"endTime":338.97,"body":"for me because I didn't have"},{"startTime":339.036,"endTime":339.779,"body":"the strength to do"},{"startTime":339.846,"endTime":340.649,"body":"it for myself."},{"startTime":341.1,"endTime":342.509,"body":"I'm very thankful for her,"},{"startTime":343.649,"endTime":345.779,"body":"but kind of had a beginning to"},{"startTime":345.846,"endTime":347.61,"body":"convince people that I was sick"},{"startTime":347.676,"endTime":348.8,"body":"and something was wrong."},{"startTime":349.079,"endTime":350.67,"body":"And like I said, I was really"},{"startTime":350.736,"endTime":352.47,"body":"lucky that I had a doctor"},{"startTime":352.536,"endTime":354.66,"body":"who said, you know, I'm going"},{"startTime":354.726,"endTime":355.86,"body":"to test you for every weird"},{"startTime":355.926,"endTime":357.389,"body":"thing that I learned in"},{"startTime":357.456,"endTime":359.67,"body":"medical school, because at the"},{"startTime":359.736,"endTime":360.66,"body":"beginning they thought maybe"},{"startTime":360.726,"endTime":362.85,"body":"you have lupus, maybe you have"},{"startTime":363.18,"endTime":364.819,"body":"like muscular things,"},{"startTime":364.886,"endTime":366.029,"body":"something auto immune"},{"startTime":366.096,"endTime":366.75,"body":"is going on."},{"startTime":366.959,"endTime":367.74,"body":"But nothing was"},{"startTime":367.806,"endTime":368.67,"body":"really coming back."},{"startTime":368.736,"endTime":369.689,"body":"And he was just like, I'm going"},{"startTime":369.756,"endTime":371.339,"body":"to test you for every weird"},{"startTime":371.406,"endTime":372.269,"body":"thing that I know."},{"startTime":372.449,"endTime":375.42,"body":"And of course, this came up."},{"startTime":375.93,"endTime":379.649,"body":"And so rather than just jumping"},{"startTime":379.716,"endTime":381.42,"body":"in and getting my infusions and"},{"startTime":381.486,"endTime":382.92,"body":"getting going, I really had to"},{"startTime":382.986,"endTime":384.81,"body":"prove that I deserved it,"},{"startTime":385.8,"endTime":388.649,"body":"which took a lot of proving"},{"startTime":388.716,"endTime":390.089,"body":"that I was sick enough and I"},{"startTime":390.156,"endTime":393.06,"body":"didn't fall into the norm,"},{"startTime":393.126,"endTime":394.47,"body":"which we now know people"},{"startTime":394.536,"endTime":396.959,"body":"with PPI, we all have a"},{"startTime":397.026,"endTime":398.579,"body":"different struggle and we all"},{"startTime":398.646,"endTime":400.11,"body":"present in different ways."},{"startTime":400.176,"endTime":402.5,"body":"So it's not like, OK,"},{"startTime":402.566,"endTime":403.41,"body":"you're going to have"},{"startTime":403.476,"endTime":404.699,"body":"strep throat, you're going to"},{"startTime":404.766,"endTime":406.319,"body":"have issues with your kidneys,"},{"startTime":406.386,"endTime":406.949,"body":"you're going to have"},{"startTime":407.016,"endTime":408.12,"body":"got issues, you're going to"},{"startTime":408.186,"endTime":410.55,"body":"have joint issues like there's"},{"startTime":410.616,"endTime":413.639,"body":"no recipe for."},{"startTime":415.5,"endTime":416.779,"body":"PowerSecure, yes."},{"startTime":417.579,"endTime":420.189,"body":"So I didn't particularly fall"},{"startTime":420.256,"endTime":421.87,"body":"into the right category,"},{"startTime":421.936,"endTime":423.459,"body":"but thankfully we had some"},{"startTime":423.526,"endTime":426.459,"body":"convincing the doctor to allow"},{"startTime":426.526,"endTime":427.66,"body":"me to start infusions."},{"startTime":428.92,"endTime":430.54,"body":"Since then, my fusion journey"},{"startTime":430.606,"endTime":432.069,"body":"has been quite interesting."},{"startTime":433.3,"endTime":436.449,"body":"I did do it for six to eight"},{"startTime":436.516,"endTime":438.56,"body":"months and got really severe"},{"startTime":438.626,"endTime":442.0,"body":"aseptic meningitis and have had"},{"startTime":442.066,"endTime":445.54,"body":"some kind of allergic reactions"},{"startTime":445.606,"endTime":446.49,"body":"a couple of times."},{"startTime":446.556,"endTime":448.31,"body":"So it was a bit of a"},{"startTime":448.376,"endTime":450.879,"body":"mess they released."},{"startTime":451.29,"endTime":453.04,"body":"I was really likely to have a"},{"startTime":453.106,"endTime":455.62,"body":"super supportive infusion nurse"},{"startTime":455.92,"endTime":458.05,"body":"who went over and above for me"},{"startTime":458.769,"endTime":461.25,"body":"and I was one of the first to"},{"startTime":461.316,"endTime":463.569,"body":"start doing subcu, so I would"},{"startTime":463.636,"endTime":465.37,"body":"have been 20 when I"},{"startTime":465.436,"endTime":466.509,"body":"started since you."},{"startTime":466.576,"endTime":467.879,"body":"So it's been a while."},{"startTime":468.279,"endTime":469.54,"body":"And again, that's been a"},{"startTime":469.606,"endTime":470.259,"body":"journey as well."},{"startTime":470.326,"endTime":472.24,"body":"I've tried every single subcu"},{"startTime":472.306,"endTime":473.35,"body":"product possible"},{"startTime":474.97,"endTime":475.99,"body":"in the last year."},{"startTime":476.056,"endTime":476.889,"body":"Knock on wood."},{"startTime":477.73,"endTime":478.87,"body":"It's been OK,"},{"startTime":482.11,"endTime":484.75,"body":"but I still get some casual"},{"startTime":484.816,"endTime":485.959,"body":"aseptic meningitis"},{"startTime":486.026,"endTime":486.579,"body":"here and there."},{"startTime":488.23,"endTime":489.49,"body":"I don't want to interrupt you,"},{"startTime":489.556,"endTime":491.019,"body":"but I'm not sure I would use"},{"startTime":491.086,"endTime":492.79,"body":"the term casual Friday."},{"startTime":495.11,"endTime":496.209,"body":"But at the same time,"},{"startTime":496.276,"endTime":497.339,"body":"it's very real."},{"startTime":497.68,"endTime":499.089,"body":"Like I understand where you're"},{"startTime":499.156,"endTime":501.25,"body":"coming if you know."},{"startTime":501.91,"endTime":503.5,"body":"I mean, in the big scheme"},{"startTime":503.566,"endTime":506.68,"body":"of things, I was really sick at"},{"startTime":506.746,"endTime":508.24,"body":"the beginning and it kind of"},{"startTime":508.306,"endTime":509.5,"body":"blocked that out."},{"startTime":509.829,"endTime":511.54,"body":"And so I'm really grateful that"},{"startTime":511.606,"endTime":513.429,"body":"I have my mom and my family and"},{"startTime":513.496,"endTime":515.08,"body":"my dad and everybody with me"},{"startTime":515.146,"endTime":517.09,"body":"that they can remind me of how"},{"startTime":517.156,"endTime":519.549,"body":"bad it was so that when I say I"},{"startTime":519.616,"endTime":520.779,"body":"just get casualties"},{"startTime":520.846,"endTime":522.419,"body":"of meningitis, it's like, OK,"},{"startTime":522.486,"endTime":524.35,"body":"in the big scheme of things,"},{"startTime":525.07,"endTime":525.909,"body":"that's OK."},{"startTime":526.059,"endTime":529.59,"body":"We got like a week or two of"},{"startTime":529.656,"endTime":530.71,"body":"being brutally sick in the"},{"startTime":530.776,"endTime":532.899,"body":"hospital over like physically"},{"startTime":532.966,"endTime":536.32,"body":"being unable for and to walk"},{"startTime":536.386,"endTime":537.759,"body":"and just to be in so"},{"startTime":537.826,"endTime":538.809,"body":"much pain, not able to"},{"startTime":538.876,"endTime":541.2,"body":"work by that."},{"startTime":541.33,"endTime":543.34,"body":"So in the big scheme"},{"startTime":543.406,"endTime":546.789,"body":"of things, the the benefits"},{"startTime":549.009,"endTime":550.09,"body":"to pay."},{"startTime":550.22,"endTime":550.72,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":550.99,"endTime":551.529,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":551.596,"endTime":555.49,"body":"So and I think like improvement"},{"startTime":555.556,"endTime":556.21,"body":"looks different for"},{"startTime":556.276,"endTime":556.776,"body":"everyone."},{"startTime":556.843,"endTime":557.343,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":557.41,"endTime":557.91,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":559.389,"endTime":562.99,"body":"I wonder just as a way to tie"},{"startTime":563.056,"endTime":564.879,"body":"up those two elements,"},{"startTime":564.946,"endTime":566.529,"body":"I wonder, like do you think"},{"startTime":566.596,"endTime":567.94,"body":"that your experience as a"},{"startTime":568.006,"endTime":570.19,"body":"patient informs how you work as"},{"startTime":571.0,"endTime":572.769,"body":"a health care technician or a"},{"startTime":574.6,"endTime":575.519,"body":"technologist."},{"startTime":575.586,"endTime":576.086,"body":"Thank you."},{"startTime":578.769,"endTime":580.09,"body":"A hundred percent."},{"startTime":580.156,"endTime":583.269,"body":"Yes, I feel that I do"},{"startTime":583.336,"endTime":584.95,"body":"understand what it is like to"},{"startTime":585.016,"endTime":587.5,"body":"be on the other side."},{"startTime":587.71,"endTime":589.24,"body":"So to be scared,"},{"startTime":589.306,"endTime":589.96,"body":"to be nervous,"},{"startTime":590.026,"endTime":591.97,"body":"to be uncomfortable, to be in a"},{"startTime":592.036,"endTime":596.659,"body":"room with a stranger, to be not"},{"startTime":596.74,"endTime":597.879,"body":"able to get answers to"},{"startTime":597.946,"endTime":600.07,"body":"questions that you needed or to"},{"startTime":600.136,"endTime":601.6,"body":"not be able to have someone to"},{"startTime":601.666,"endTime":604.6,"body":"educate you in the way that you"},{"startTime":604.666,"endTime":605.379,"body":"need to be."},{"startTime":606.69,"endTime":609.49,"body":"I, in my profession, go out of"},{"startTime":609.556,"endTime":611.47,"body":"my way to stay educated,"},{"startTime":611.536,"endTime":612.789,"body":"to always be doing courses,"},{"startTime":612.856,"endTime":614.5,"body":"to always be asking questions,"},{"startTime":614.566,"endTime":617.71,"body":"to be involved as much as I can"},{"startTime":617.776,"endTime":619.779,"body":"so that I can be that person"},{"startTime":619.899,"endTime":621.84,"body":"that when someone says, like,"},{"startTime":622.36,"endTime":624.159,"body":"I just I need someone to answer"},{"startTime":624.226,"endTime":626.34,"body":"this question for me, I can or"},{"startTime":626.406,"endTime":628.6,"body":"I can least guide them in a way"},{"startTime":628.666,"endTime":632.019,"body":"I can be a voice and I can also"},{"startTime":632.086,"endTime":632.879,"body":"be an ear."},{"startTime":634.36,"endTime":636.039,"body":"I also know as a patient that"},{"startTime":636.106,"endTime":637.379,"body":"sometimes you just want someone"},{"startTime":637.446,"endTime":638.429,"body":"to listen to you."},{"startTime":638.86,"endTime":642.1,"body":"So I think it has made me a lot"},{"startTime":642.166,"endTime":646.299,"body":"more empathetic and has really"},{"startTime":646.366,"endTime":647.85,"body":"allowed me to."},{"startTime":648.879,"endTime":650.919,"body":"Yeah, it'd be a lot better at"},{"startTime":650.986,"endTime":652.509,"body":"what I do because I do"},{"startTime":652.779,"endTime":654.19,"body":"understand what it's like on"},{"startTime":654.256,"endTime":654.97,"body":"the other side."},{"startTime":655.33,"endTime":656.82,"body":"So yeah."},{"startTime":656.909,"endTime":657.409,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":657.639,"endTime":660.909,"body":"And there is a power to being"},{"startTime":660.976,"endTime":662.409,"body":"believed and it sounds like"},{"startTime":662.476,"endTime":663.399,"body":"something it is not,"},{"startTime":664.179,"endTime":665.409,"body":"even though that is something"},{"startTime":665.476,"endTime":665.98,"body":"that should have been"},{"startTime":666.046,"endTime":666.639,"body":"offered to you."},{"startTime":666.706,"endTime":668.259,"body":"It sounds like something that"},{"startTime":668.326,"endTime":669.539,"body":"you had to fight for."},{"startTime":669.606,"endTime":673.12,"body":"So it's even more it perhaps is"},{"startTime":673.186,"endTime":675.379,"body":"more valued for you as well in"},{"startTime":675.519,"endTime":676.929,"body":"providing that to patients."},{"startTime":677.08,"endTime":680.139,"body":"So turning towards self care"},{"startTime":680.206,"endTime":681.85,"body":"and your experience with"},{"startTime":681.916,"endTime":683.289,"body":"self care, I want to note"},{"startTime":683.356,"endTime":685.419,"body":"before we get into discussing"},{"startTime":685.486,"endTime":686.62,"body":"your experience that self care"},{"startTime":686.686,"endTime":687.82,"body":"is a deeply layered"},{"startTime":687.886,"endTime":689.08,"body":"and complex thing."},{"startTime":689.289,"endTime":691.36,"body":"It is culturally bound."},{"startTime":691.426,"endTime":692.98,"body":"It is class bound."},{"startTime":693.046,"endTime":695.529,"body":"It is it is nuanced."},{"startTime":697.21,"endTime":699.159,"body":"And and in some ways,"},{"startTime":700.09,"endTime":701.74,"body":"for example, someone pointed"},{"startTime":701.806,"endTime":703.029,"body":"out to me that from"},{"startTime":703.096,"endTime":704.409,"body":"their perspective, self care is"},{"startTime":704.476,"endTime":705.159,"body":"not something that is"},{"startTime":705.226,"endTime":705.75,"body":"experienced on"},{"startTime":705.816,"endTime":706.69,"body":"the individual level."},{"startTime":706.756,"endTime":707.649,"body":"It is something that is a"},{"startTime":707.716,"endTime":709.179,"body":"community level kind of thing."},{"startTime":709.509,"endTime":711.669,"body":"And I want to welcome all of"},{"startTime":711.736,"endTime":712.929,"body":"that complexity"},{"startTime":713.139,"endTime":714.61,"body":"into our conversation."},{"startTime":714.676,"endTime":716.2,"body":"And also acknowledge that this"},{"startTime":716.266,"endTime":717.649,"body":"is your experience with"},{"startTime":717.716,"endTime":720.0,"body":"health care, with that,"},{"startTime":720.066,"endTime":721.72,"body":"I'm wondering, what does health"},{"startTime":721.786,"endTime":722.46,"body":"care mean to you?"},{"startTime":724.24,"endTime":727.419,"body":"So I guess to me pretty simply"},{"startTime":727.486,"endTime":730.299,"body":"is whatever you need to kind of"},{"startTime":730.366,"endTime":732.909,"body":"fill your cup, which I know for"},{"startTime":732.976,"endTime":734.889,"body":"us is refill your spoon."},{"startTime":736.929,"endTime":738.879,"body":"But really, whatever you need"},{"startTime":738.946,"endTime":741.429,"body":"to do to take a step back,"},{"startTime":741.496,"endTime":743.679,"body":"have that moment and and feel"},{"startTime":743.746,"endTime":744.769,"body":"yourself back up."},{"startTime":745.269,"endTime":746.289,"body":"You mentioned spoons."},{"startTime":746.356,"endTime":747.1,"body":"Could you tell me a little bit"},{"startTime":747.166,"endTime":747.666,"body":"more?"},{"startTime":747.733,"endTime":748.233,"body":"I think I know what"},{"startTime":748.3,"endTime":749.679,"body":"you're saying, but tell me more"},{"startTime":749.746,"endTime":750.246,"body":"about what?"},{"startTime":751.419,"endTime":753.159,"body":"So this was something that I"},{"startTime":753.226,"endTime":756.73,"body":"learned kind of early on in my"},{"startTime":756.796,"endTime":759.97,"body":"diagnosis and really helped me"},{"startTime":760.036,"endTime":761.95,"body":"quite a bit in understanding"},{"startTime":762.016,"endTime":763.45,"body":"and managing myself,"},{"startTime":764.47,"endTime":766.029,"body":"saying that each of us has kind"},{"startTime":766.096,"endTime":767.259,"body":"of how many how many"},{"startTime":767.326,"endTime":768.24,"body":"spoons per day."},{"startTime":768.306,"endTime":769.84,"body":"So let's say we have 10 cents"},{"startTime":769.906,"endTime":772.09,"body":"per day and each activity and"},{"startTime":772.156,"endTime":774.22,"body":"everything that we do take"},{"startTime":774.286,"endTime":775.12,"body":"so many spoons."},{"startTime":775.186,"endTime":776.74,"body":"So when you're kind of going to"},{"startTime":776.806,"endTime":778.72,"body":"your day, you're going to"},{"startTime":778.786,"endTime":779.61,"body":"have a shower."},{"startTime":780.039,"endTime":781.419,"body":"It might take me one spoon."},{"startTime":781.486,"endTime":782.549,"body":"It might take you two."},{"startTime":783.07,"endTime":784.419,"body":"You might not choose to shower"},{"startTime":784.486,"endTime":785.529,"body":"that day because you have"},{"startTime":785.596,"endTime":786.94,"body":"another activity that takes you"},{"startTime":787.006,"endTime":790.12,"body":"for so kind of managing"},{"startTime":790.186,"endTime":791.74,"body":"your day, looking at how many"},{"startTime":791.806,"endTime":794.62,"body":"spoons you have, how many are"},{"startTime":794.686,"endTime":796.179,"body":"all your activities or your"},{"startTime":796.246,"endTime":797.769,"body":"interactions going to take from"},{"startTime":797.836,"endTime":799.269,"body":"you and what are you going to"},{"startTime":799.336,"endTime":800.529,"body":"be left with at the end of the"},{"startTime":800.596,"endTime":801.096,"body":"day?"},{"startTime":802.029,"endTime":803.35,"body":"And I know for me, when I"},{"startTime":803.416,"endTime":806.07,"body":"first started, I would use a"},{"startTime":806.136,"endTime":807.58,"body":"thousand spoons in a day when I"},{"startTime":807.646,"endTime":808.85,"body":"had ten of."},{"startTime":809.519,"endTime":812.169,"body":"So kind of when I was explained"},{"startTime":812.236,"endTime":813.58,"body":"a little bit about what"},{"startTime":813.646,"endTime":815.379,"body":"this was, it really helps me to"},{"startTime":815.446,"endTime":816.7,"body":"kind of break things down and"},{"startTime":816.766,"endTime":818.44,"body":"be like, yeah, it does."},{"startTime":818.919,"endTime":820.57,"body":"It does actually take me quite"},{"startTime":820.636,"endTime":824.08,"body":"a bit to to have a shower or to"},{"startTime":824.146,"endTime":826.809,"body":"walk to wherever or go to"},{"startTime":826.876,"endTime":827.879,"body":"an exercise class."},{"startTime":827.946,"endTime":830.289,"body":"So kind of looking at your day"},{"startTime":830.356,"endTime":832.389,"body":"and more so managing what"},{"startTime":832.456,"endTime":834.61,"body":"you're capable of in that time"},{"startTime":835.48,"endTime":838.87,"body":"and for you, does does it"},{"startTime":838.936,"endTime":841.23,"body":"always take the same amount of"},{"startTime":841.296,"endTime":844.24,"body":"spoons to go to a gym or an"},{"startTime":844.306,"endTime":845.049,"body":"exercise class?"},{"startTime":845.71,"endTime":847.72,"body":"No, definitely not."},{"startTime":848.769,"endTime":851.169,"body":"And it's definitely been waves"},{"startTime":851.236,"endTime":852.129,"body":"throughout the year."},{"startTime":853.45,"endTime":854.83,"body":"I personally am someone who has"},{"startTime":854.896,"endTime":855.549,"body":"accepted that I"},{"startTime":855.616,"endTime":858.48,"body":"can't exercise it."},{"startTime":858.669,"endTime":861.429,"body":"It takes too much for me to do"},{"startTime":861.519,"endTime":862.809,"body":"at this moment in time."},{"startTime":862.876,"endTime":865.21,"body":"So I've had to kind of manage"},{"startTime":865.276,"endTime":866.409,"body":"myself in different ways."},{"startTime":866.476,"endTime":869.169,"body":"But I've had times where,"},{"startTime":869.236,"endTime":871.179,"body":"like literally having a shower"},{"startTime":871.246,"endTime":872.559,"body":"that that's it for the day,"},{"startTime":873.2,"endTime":874.929,"body":"you know, kind of in"},{"startTime":874.996,"endTime":876.37,"body":"the lowest point."},{"startTime":876.669,"endTime":878.95,"body":"And I've had other times where"},{"startTime":879.22,"endTime":881.2,"body":"I can be superwoman for the day"},{"startTime":881.266,"endTime":883.24,"body":"and do five million things and"},{"startTime":883.306,"endTime":885.82,"body":"work a 12 hour shift and still"},{"startTime":885.886,"endTime":887.289,"body":"come home at my house and"},{"startTime":887.356,"endTime":888.039,"body":"walk the dog."},{"startTime":888.106,"endTime":891.85,"body":"And so it definitely comes in"},{"startTime":891.916,"endTime":893.59,"body":"waves and kind of being more in"},{"startTime":893.656,"endTime":895.84,"body":"tune with which kind of which"},{"startTime":896.289,"endTime":897.7,"body":"which way you're in"},{"startTime":897.766,"endTime":898.419,"body":"at that time."},{"startTime":898.909,"endTime":903.85,"body":"Uh, and how like can you can"},{"startTime":903.916,"endTime":905.95,"body":"you predict where like what the"},{"startTime":906.016,"endTime":907.84,"body":"next day is like or is it day"},{"startTime":907.906,"endTime":909.159,"body":"to day like how, how do you"},{"startTime":909.226,"endTime":910.389,"body":"manage your spoon."},{"startTime":910.456,"endTime":911.049,"body":"Allotment"},{"startTime":912.639,"endTime":913.539,"body":"is taking me a really"},{"startTime":913.606,"endTime":914.289,"body":"long time."},{"startTime":914.356,"endTime":917.139,"body":"I, I mean with, with health"},{"startTime":917.206,"endTime":919.09,"body":"care to like and this topic I"},{"startTime":919.156,"endTime":919.809,"body":"was really excited."},{"startTime":919.876,"endTime":920.679,"body":"You want to talk about it"},{"startTime":920.746,"endTime":922.6,"body":"because this is something that"},{"startTime":922.666,"endTime":925.509,"body":"I have struggled with a lot and"},{"startTime":925.576,"endTime":926.98,"body":"it has taken me a really long"},{"startTime":927.046,"endTime":930.46,"body":"time to understand my body,"},{"startTime":930.526,"endTime":932.529,"body":"understand when my body trying"},{"startTime":932.596,"endTime":933.58,"body":"to tell me things and"},{"startTime":933.646,"endTime":937.269,"body":"understand my limits and kind"},{"startTime":937.336,"endTime":938.71,"body":"of acknowledging that my limits"},{"startTime":938.776,"endTime":939.669,"body":"are going to change."},{"startTime":941.08,"endTime":942.039,"body":"So."},{"startTime":943.669,"endTime":945.11,"body":"Usually day to day,"},{"startTime":945.176,"endTime":947.659,"body":"I'm pretty good, but I've kind"},{"startTime":947.726,"endTime":949.759,"body":"of had to set my schedule up"},{"startTime":949.826,"endTime":952.07,"body":"with my infusions, knowing that"},{"startTime":952.136,"endTime":954.44,"body":"I am prone to getting aseptic"},{"startTime":954.506,"endTime":956.659,"body":"meningitis venom, sometimes I"},{"startTime":956.726,"endTime":958.07,"body":"have a really rough 12 to"},{"startTime":958.136,"endTime":959.019,"body":"twenty four hours."},{"startTime":959.086,"endTime":961.429,"body":"So usually I do my infusion,"},{"startTime":961.73,"endTime":964.009,"body":"I work, I have the next morning"},{"startTime":964.076,"endTime":965.48,"body":"off and I'm really grateful."},{"startTime":965.546,"endTime":966.74,"body":"My work's kind of been really"},{"startTime":966.806,"endTime":968.96,"body":"flexible that one day a week I"},{"startTime":969.026,"endTime":970.46,"body":"have a morning off and that's"},{"startTime":970.526,"endTime":973.279,"body":"why I recharge mornings so I"},{"startTime":973.346,"endTime":975.74,"body":"can get through the week and"},{"startTime":975.806,"endTime":978.23,"body":"just recognizing that know the"},{"startTime":978.296,"endTime":980.48,"body":"telltale signs of when your"},{"startTime":980.546,"endTime":981.289,"body":"body's telling you to"},{"startTime":981.356,"endTime":981.99,"body":"slow down."},{"startTime":982.056,"endTime":985.22,"body":"So like fingers or when my"},{"startTime":985.286,"endTime":986.769,"body":"immune system's coming down,"},{"startTime":986.836,"endTime":988.009,"body":"I get migraines,"},{"startTime":988.22,"endTime":989.48,"body":"I get joint pain."},{"startTime":990.35,"endTime":991.61,"body":"And when that happens,"},{"startTime":991.676,"endTime":992.45,"body":"rather than pushing"},{"startTime":992.516,"endTime":993.2,"body":"through it."},{"startTime":994.139,"endTime":997.74,"body":"Taking a step back and allowing"},{"startTime":997.806,"endTime":1000.049,"body":"myself to just, you know,"},{"startTime":1000.84,"endTime":1002.019,"body":"replenish them."},{"startTime":1004.22,"endTime":1005.09,"body":"It is something I"},{"startTime":1005.156,"endTime":1005.919,"body":"also struggle with."},{"startTime":1005.986,"endTime":1008.059,"body":"I definitely do as well."},{"startTime":1008.21,"endTime":1010.519,"body":"I'm wondering, how do you"},{"startTime":1010.586,"endTime":1011.84,"body":"navigate the, like,"},{"startTime":1011.929,"endTime":1014.36,"body":"emotional mental complications?"},{"startTime":1014.426,"endTime":1015.5,"body":"Because you keep talking about"},{"startTime":1015.566,"endTime":1017.899,"body":"stepping back from it."},{"startTime":1017.966,"endTime":1018.889,"body":"Sounds like things you"},{"startTime":1018.956,"endTime":1019.7,"body":"want to do."},{"startTime":1019.85,"endTime":1021.5,"body":"And I'm wondering, like, how do"},{"startTime":1021.566,"endTime":1022.85,"body":"you navigate that"},{"startTime":1025.97,"endTime":1026.539,"body":"struggle"},{"startTime":1028.359,"endTime":1031.67,"body":"when in my early to"},{"startTime":1031.736,"endTime":1033.769,"body":"mid twenties, it was probably"},{"startTime":1033.836,"endTime":1035.18,"body":"the hardest for me."},{"startTime":1035.246,"endTime":1037.94,"body":"Those are times when people are"},{"startTime":1038.006,"endTime":1040.279,"body":"traveling and they're active"},{"startTime":1040.346,"endTime":1042.109,"body":"and they're dating and going"},{"startTime":1042.176,"endTime":1043.73,"body":"out and staying out."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1043.796,"endTime":1045.049,"body":"00 p.m."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1045.116,"endTime":1045.616,"body":","},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1047.5,"endTime":1049.19,"body":"I tried really hard to keep up"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1049.369,"endTime":1053.15,"body":"and crashed and burned a lot."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1054.109,"endTime":1056.24,"body":"And it really took kind of a"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1056.306,"endTime":1059.019,"body":"moment of what is my priority,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1059.119,"endTime":1061.43,"body":"what do I want my energy to go"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1061.496,"endTime":1066.41,"body":"into and what is what is worth"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1066.476,"endTime":1067.64,"body":"my time and energy."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1068.269,"endTime":1071.66,"body":"And it still is really,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1071.726,"endTime":1073.269,"body":"really hard when, well,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1073.49,"endTime":1074.509,"body":"less would cope and"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1075.47,"endTime":1076.19,"body":"move out later."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1076.256,"endTime":1079.009,"body":"But life is basically my life."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1080.92,"endTime":1082.369,"body":"But, you know, it's hard when"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1082.759,"endTime":1084.109,"body":"all your girlfriends are going"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1084.176,"endTime":1087.049,"body":"on a trip to Europe for a"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1087.116,"endTime":1088.91,"body":"couple weeks and knowing that"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1089.599,"endTime":1091.73,"body":"and that's not something that's"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1091.796,"endTime":1093.289,"body":"in the cards for me physically"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1094.49,"endTime":1096.349,"body":"and on the emotional side of"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1096.416,"endTime":1097.339,"body":"that feeling"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1099.259,"endTime":1102.559,"body":"left out or having to cancel"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1102.626,"endTime":1104.599,"body":"plans with people who maybe"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1104.666,"endTime":1106.789,"body":"don't fully understand that"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1106.856,"endTime":1108.799,"body":"it's not because I'm"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1108.866,"endTime":1109.64,"body":"being lazy."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1110.119,"endTime":1113.42,"body":"It's just I worked that day so"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1113.486,"endTime":1116.45,"body":"I can't work and have plans"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1116.516,"endTime":1117.579,"body":"after work in the same day."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1117.646,"endTime":1119.299,"body":"That's just not something that"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1119.366,"endTime":1119.93,"body":"I can do."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1120.68,"endTime":1123.049,"body":"So surrounding myself with"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1123.116,"endTime":1126.349,"body":"people who understand that and"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1126.416,"endTime":1128.66,"body":"support me and kind of making"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1128.726,"endTime":1131.509,"body":"my little bubble of people a"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1131.576,"endTime":1132.769,"body":"good bubble of people has"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1132.836,"endTime":1134.42,"body":"been really helpful."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1134.9,"endTime":1135.74,"body":"I like how we use"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1139.16,"endTime":1142.309,"body":"the computer system, but it is"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1142.376,"endTime":1145.279,"body":"still is still a struggle."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1145.346,"endTime":1148.099,"body":"It is still hard on the"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1148.166,"endTime":1151.22,"body":"emotional side to to just know"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1151.286,"endTime":1153.319,"body":"that I can't do everything and"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1153.386,"endTime":1154.609,"body":"I can't be everywhere."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1154.676,"endTime":1157.099,"body":"And I have limits that other"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1157.166,"endTime":1157.88,"body":"people don't have to"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1157.946,"endTime":1158.446,"body":"deal with."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1159.109,"endTime":1159.829,"body":"It sucks."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1160.309,"endTime":1161.24,"body":"It hurts."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1162.89,"endTime":1164.059,"body":"So much of what you said"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1164.126,"endTime":1165.289,"body":"resonated with me."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1165.356,"endTime":1167.119,"body":"But it also sounds like"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1168.98,"endTime":1171.5,"body":"for you this like self"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1171.566,"endTime":1173.96,"body":"acceptance is a type"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1174.026,"endTime":1174.97,"body":"of health care."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1175.49,"endTime":1175.99,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1176.599,"endTime":1178.849,"body":"Yeah, it was it something that"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1178.916,"endTime":1180.5,"body":"you came to easily or do you"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1180.566,"endTime":1181.49,"body":"think now?"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1183.859,"endTime":1185.029,"body":"Yeah, I am."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1185.096,"endTime":1187.089,"body":"I am definitely a person who"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1187.599,"endTime":1188.66,"body":"who does it all,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1188.726,"endTime":1191.72,"body":"who doesn't stop, who goes over"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1191.786,"endTime":1194.15,"body":"and above everyone and"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1194.216,"endTime":1196.91,"body":"everything myself and I put"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1196.976,"endTime":1198.589,"body":"everything I have and everyone"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1198.656,"endTime":1200.21,"body":"and I have a very, very,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1200.276,"endTime":1201.829,"body":"very hard time saying no."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1202.4,"endTime":1205.63,"body":"And over the last I'd say"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1205.696,"endTime":1207.769,"body":"especially probably two or"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1207.836,"endTime":1210.619,"body":"three years has been a lot of"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1210.686,"endTime":1212.539,"body":"growth in that area for me."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1212.606,"endTime":1214.39,"body":"And really realizing of,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1214.64,"endTime":1216.5,"body":"like I said, what what is most"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1216.566,"endTime":1217.94,"body":"important to me, where I do,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1218.24,"endTime":1220.009,"body":"where do I want my energy to go"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1220.076,"endTime":1220.576,"body":"?"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1220.643,"endTime":1223.339,"body":"And yeah, that's been a"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1223.406,"endTime":1224.46,"body":"good thing, but it's a"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1224.539,"endTime":1226.4,"body":"challenging thing for sure."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1226.64,"endTime":1227.15,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1227.539,"endTime":1228.039,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1228.106,"endTime":1229.16,"body":"It sounds like it has really"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1229.226,"endTime":1230.99,"body":"helped you in your life, but it"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1231.056,"endTime":1232.22,"body":"doesn't mean that it's an easy"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1232.286,"endTime":1232.789,"body":"thing to do."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1234.68,"endTime":1235.19,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1237.44,"endTime":1238.789,"body":"Hey, I just wanted to pop in"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1238.856,"endTime":1239.569,"body":"here for a moment."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1240.38,"endTime":1242.96,"body":"I know that right now with the"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1243.44,"endTime":1245.839,"body":"covid pandemic and also"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1245.906,"endTime":1247.099,"body":"sometimes just living with"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1247.166,"endTime":1247.7,"body":"primary immune"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1247.766,"endTime":1249.44,"body":"deficiency is complex."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1249.92,"endTime":1250.91,"body":"And I want to tell you that"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1250.976,"endTime":1252.89,"body":"Sepo has a range of resources"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1253.549,"endTime":1255.17,"body":"available to assist patients"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1255.259,"endTime":1257.539,"body":"and their families in accessing"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1257.606,"endTime":1258.65,"body":"mental health services."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1259.009,"endTime":1262.339,"body":"All you have to do is send an"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1262.406,"endTime":1266.029,"body":"email to support at TI with the"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1266.096,"endTime":1267.98,"body":"subject line helping hand and"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1268.046,"endTime":1269.66,"body":"you could receive up to five"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1269.726,"endTime":1271.009,"body":"hundred dollars toward"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1271.279,"endTime":1272.359,"body":"mental health support."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1277.019,"endTime":1278.309,"body":"Switching gears slightly,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1278.376,"endTime":1279.18,"body":"you mentioned that your"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1279.246,"endTime":1280.559,"body":"work is accommodating."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1280.626,"endTime":1282.24,"body":"I'm wondering, was there a"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1282.306,"endTime":1285.509,"body":"process of what that process of"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1285.576,"endTime":1286.829,"body":"talking to your work and"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1286.896,"endTime":1288.21,"body":"approaching your work look"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1288.276,"endTime":1288.776,"body":"like?"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1290.88,"endTime":1293.4,"body":"That one, too, has been a"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1293.466,"endTime":1295.7,"body":"struggle throughout kind of"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1295.769,"endTime":1296.73,"body":"my career"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1298.44,"endTime":1300.21,"body":"is especially in"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1300.276,"endTime":1301.47,"body":"the beginning, not wanting to"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1301.536,"endTime":1306.269,"body":"be seen as someone who is"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1306.336,"endTime":1308.309,"body":"incapable or is less capable"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1308.376,"endTime":1311.46,"body":"than others, not wanting to be"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1311.526,"endTime":1313.2,"body":"kind of a charity case or be"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1313.266,"endTime":1315.0,"body":"given any privileges other"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1315.066,"endTime":1316.2,"body":"people don't have."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1317.609,"endTime":1319.2,"body":"I worked very, very, very hard"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1319.266,"endTime":1322.079,"body":"in my career to kind of work my"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1322.146,"endTime":1324.059,"body":"way up and be a respected"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1324.126,"endTime":1325.49,"body":"person in my profession."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1325.98,"endTime":1329.25,"body":"And so it was kind of"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1329.316,"endTime":1331.349,"body":"difficult to communicate."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1331.416,"endTime":1334.079,"body":"But thankfully, I do have a"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1334.146,"endTime":1336.509,"body":"very good employer who when I"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1336.576,"endTime":1338.039,"body":"did kind of communicate, hey,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1338.106,"endTime":1339.99,"body":"I have this illness, it won't"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1340.056,"endTime":1342.15,"body":"affect my day to day like I"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1342.216,"endTime":1343.17,"body":"actually call in sick,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1343.236,"endTime":1344.13,"body":"much less than the"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1344.196,"endTime":1345.319,"body":"average person does."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1345.386,"endTime":1347.43,"body":"But just so you know, when I do"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1347.496,"endTime":1351.2,"body":"get sick, I get sick like I"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1351.266,"endTime":1352.859,"body":"want to be here when I"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1352.926,"endTime":1353.426,"body":"am here."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1353.493,"endTime":1355.829,"body":"You know, kind of before I had"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1355.896,"endTime":1359.16,"body":"this conversation, I let my my"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1359.226,"endTime":1361.799,"body":"actions prove or what is the"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1361.866,"endTime":1364.049,"body":"wording that I, I prove to them"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1364.116,"endTime":1365.88,"body":"who I am before."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1366.24,"endTime":1367.799,"body":"So they knew how hard"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1367.866,"endTime":1368.366,"body":"I worked."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1368.433,"endTime":1369.779,"body":"And nobody they I think for the"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1369.846,"endTime":1370.95,"body":"first year, nobody even knew"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1371.016,"endTime":1371.73,"body":"that I was sick."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1372.9,"endTime":1374.609,"body":"And then I got meningitis,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1374.676,"endTime":1375.72,"body":"ended up in the hospital for"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1375.786,"endTime":1376.286,"body":"two weeks"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1378.309,"endTime":1379.769,"body":"without really anything"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1380.4,"endTime":1382.299,"body":"but but yeah."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1382.5,"endTime":1383.91,"body":"Just kind of being open and"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1383.976,"endTime":1385.049,"body":"honest about it and"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1385.116,"endTime":1386.13,"body":"just saying, you know, this is"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1386.196,"endTime":1387.99,"body":"just something that I have and"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1388.056,"endTime":1389.4,"body":"there will be times where I"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1389.466,"endTime":1391.45,"body":"just need a little bit extra."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1393.45,"endTime":1394.63,"body":"And yeah."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1395.13,"endTime":1395.799,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1396.24,"endTime":1397.68,"body":"I appreciate you speaking to"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1397.746,"endTime":1399.9,"body":"disclosure in a in the"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1399.966,"endTime":1401.009,"body":"complicated way in the sense"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1401.076,"endTime":1401.88,"body":"that it sounds like it was"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1401.946,"endTime":1403.2,"body":"rewarding as a result."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1403.266,"endTime":1405.75,"body":"But at the same time, it was,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1406.289,"endTime":1408.059,"body":"uh, it sounds like it was it"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1408.126,"endTime":1410.19,"body":"was a process to get there."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1410.43,"endTime":1412.23,"body":"And now that you have done"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1412.296,"endTime":1414.96,"body":"it once, does it get easier or"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1415.259,"endTime":1416.819,"body":"what is your been your"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1416.886,"endTime":1419.039,"body":"experience after having this"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1419.106,"endTime":1419.606,"body":"conversation?"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1420.18,"endTime":1424.17,"body":"Well, at least I like at the"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1424.236,"endTime":1425.73,"body":"beginning when I was"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1425.796,"endTime":1427.589,"body":"first diagnosed, I was kind of"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1427.656,"endTime":1428.43,"body":"the sick girl."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1429.15,"endTime":1431.009,"body":"And then I moved to another"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1431.076,"endTime":1432.14,"body":"space where I was like,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1432.206,"endTime":1433.619,"body":"I'll just live like I'm"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1433.686,"endTime":1436.289,"body":"not sick, which is a bad idea."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1437.069,"endTime":1438.66,"body":"But, you know, if I just don't"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1438.726,"endTime":1440.099,"body":"tell anybody and I just live my"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1440.166,"endTime":1441.66,"body":"life and it's fine,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1441.93,"endTime":1443.039,"body":"that didn't work either."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1444.21,"endTime":1447.72,"body":"So my kind of happy medium is I"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1447.786,"endTime":1449.069,"body":"don't hide it."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1449.25,"endTime":1449.789,"body":"It doesn't."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1449.97,"endTime":1451.319,"body":"I mean, but I don't I don't"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1451.386,"endTime":1452.43,"body":"hide my illness."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1453.599,"endTime":1455.309,"body":"And I tend to bring it up just"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1455.376,"endTime":1455.876,"body":"in"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1455.943,"endTime":1457.74,"body":"random conversations casually."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1458.64,"endTime":1460.14,"body":"I'll be like, oh, I just have"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1460.206,"endTime":1461.039,"body":"an immune deficiency"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1461.106,"endTime":1461.88,"body":"and this happens."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1461.946,"endTime":1462.93,"body":"And people are like, what?"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1464.309,"endTime":1467.279,"body":"And so people learn this aspect"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1467.346,"endTime":1468.869,"body":"of my life more organically"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1469.41,"endTime":1470.809,"body":"than going into it."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1470.876,"endTime":1472.92,"body":"Hey, this is who I am."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1473.23,"endTime":1474.63,"body":"So it's not who I am."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1474.839,"endTime":1476.279,"body":"It is a very big part of me and"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1476.346,"endTime":1477.9,"body":"it has made me who I am."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1477.966,"endTime":1480.839,"body":"But when I when people see me,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1480.906,"endTime":1481.769,"body":"the first thing they don't"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1481.836,"endTime":1483.42,"body":"think is optimistic."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1484.42,"endTime":1488.67,"body":"And so I don't have an issue"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1488.736,"endTime":1490.14,"body":"sharing that information about"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1490.206,"endTime":1491.789,"body":"myself by any means."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1492.359,"endTime":1493.859,"body":"I don't lead with it."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1494.43,"endTime":1497.91,"body":"Um, but I kind of just bring it"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1497.976,"endTime":1499.38,"body":"up in random conversations."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1499.446,"endTime":1502.14,"body":"Now, they don't know if that's"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1502.206,"endTime":1503.369,"body":"the right way or not,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1503.436,"endTime":1505.93,"body":"but I mean, if I for you,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1506.039,"endTime":1506.92,"body":"it's worth it."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1506.986,"endTime":1507.486,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1507.839,"endTime":1508.339,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1508.406,"endTime":1510.029,"body":"So because you said that you"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1510.096,"endTime":1511.799,"body":"don't want to be the sick girl"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1511.866,"endTime":1513.66,"body":"and I want to explore that just"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1513.726,"endTime":1514.859,"body":"slightly in the sense."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1515.849,"endTime":1518.039,"body":"What do you what was"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1518.106,"endTime":1519.569,"body":"discomforting about that."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1519.636,"endTime":1520.2,"body":"Like what made you"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1520.266,"endTime":1521.38,"body":"uncomfortable about that."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1522.24,"endTime":1524.519,"body":"When I was first because like"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1524.586,"endTime":1526.259,"body":"I said, I was finishing my my"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1526.326,"endTime":1527.609,"body":"final practicum and kind of"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1527.676,"endTime":1529.019,"body":"moving into my career."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1529.859,"endTime":1531.9,"body":"I didn't fully understand what"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1531.966,"endTime":1532.829,"body":"was going on."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1532.896,"endTime":1534.93,"body":"And I was sick to the point"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1534.996,"endTime":1537.45,"body":"that there was no hiding it."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1538.71,"endTime":1540.329,"body":"And I remember even a day I"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1540.396,"endTime":1542.279,"body":"just fell asleep at work just"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1542.346,"endTime":1546.029,"body":"sitting there and people saw me"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1546.096,"endTime":1549.24,"body":"as lazy or flaky."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1550.289,"endTime":1552.42,"body":"I had a lot of sick days I had"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1552.486,"endTime":1553.259,"body":"when I was there."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1553.326,"endTime":1554.94,"body":"Sometimes I wasn't fully there"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1555.006,"endTime":1558.089,"body":"or people would make plans and"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1558.156,"endTime":1561.329,"body":"I would go out and and so it"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1561.396,"endTime":1563.039,"body":"was really, really challenging"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1563.106,"endTime":1566.13,"body":"because I worked so hard for a"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1566.196,"endTime":1567.779,"body":"career that I loved and I was"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1568.65,"endTime":1569.73,"body":"working so hard to"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1569.796,"endTime":1571.079,"body":"continue with that."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1571.146,"endTime":1572.94,"body":"But yet I was kind of"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1573.006,"endTime":1576.44,"body":"overshadowed by this people."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1576.519,"endTime":1577.019,"body":"Opinions"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1577.086,"endTime":1579.97,"body":"without understanding, which I"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1580.036,"endTime":1582.16,"body":"think is a big issue with"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1582.226,"endTime":1582.96,"body":"people who have"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1583.026,"endTime":1586.299,"body":"visible illnesses, is that most"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1586.366,"endTime":1587.5,"body":"of the time people don't know,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1588.099,"endTime":1588.849,"body":"as you know."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1589.599,"endTime":1592.119,"body":"And so when we have moments,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1592.48,"endTime":1593.65,"body":"it's really easy for people"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1593.716,"endTime":1594.45,"body":"to judge us."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1594.849,"endTime":1596.99,"body":"And that was really hard."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1597.056,"endTime":1600.25,"body":"And again, like I said, I kind"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1600.316,"endTime":1601.809,"body":"of went into a space of, well,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1601.876,"endTime":1603.009,"body":"then I'm just not going to tell"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1603.076,"endTime":1606.069,"body":"people so that they don't see"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1606.136,"endTime":1609.16,"body":"me like that first, which also"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1609.226,"endTime":1611.049,"body":"doesn't work because it is me."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1611.68,"endTime":1613.599,"body":"So I've had to kind of just"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1613.666,"endTime":1616.509,"body":"make it about this."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1616.576,"endTime":1617.259,"body":"And so I am."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1618.299,"endTime":1620.069,"body":"And you can see me as"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1620.136,"endTime":1624.089,"body":"both things, yeah, as a as a"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1624.156,"endTime":1625.349,"body":"whole complex person."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1625.589,"endTime":1628.289,"body":"Yeah, people are like"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1628.559,"endTime":1631.339,"body":"everybody has something."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1631.406,"endTime":1634.21,"body":"It's it's not unique to us."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1634.619,"endTime":1635.64,"body":"We happen to have"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1635.706,"endTime":1639.15,"body":"something unique, but everybody"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1639.216,"endTime":1640.89,"body":"has something and."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1642.089,"endTime":1643.74,"body":"It just because ours has a"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1643.806,"endTime":1645.509,"body":"fancy name doesn't mean it's"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1645.576,"endTime":1646.65,"body":"any words they're any more"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1646.716,"endTime":1647.819,"body":"challenging or any more"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1647.886,"endTime":1650.789,"body":"important than anybody else,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1651.529,"endTime":1652.359,"body":"you know."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1652.549,"endTime":1655.38,"body":"So, yeah, I think it's really"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1655.446,"endTime":1656.22,"body":"beautiful that you"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1656.286,"endTime":1660.269,"body":"extend that, um, humanity to"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1660.336,"endTime":1662.369,"body":"to others, because I think that"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1662.436,"endTime":1664.099,"body":"is a complex way of"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1664.44,"endTime":1665.25,"body":"seeing the world."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1666.599,"endTime":1669.269,"body":"And I think, like, yeah, I also"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1669.336,"endTime":1670.559,"body":"relate to the the like."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1670.74,"endTime":1673.319,"body":"It is strange to now have more"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1673.386,"endTime":1676.049,"body":"of a visible, invisible kind of"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1676.116,"endTime":1677.88,"body":"illness when previously I've"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1677.946,"endTime":1679.359,"body":"also had similar experiences of"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1679.5,"endTime":1682.019,"body":"of of being more visibly sick."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1682.309,"endTime":1685.769,"body":"Um, and there's two there are"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1685.836,"endTime":1686.94,"body":"two very different"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1687.24,"endTime":1688.339,"body":"experiences of stigma."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1688.71,"endTime":1691.65,"body":"Um, um, so now that we've kind"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1691.716,"endTime":1693.329,"body":"of fleshed out the complexities"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1693.396,"endTime":1696.18,"body":"of of living with primary"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1696.246,"endTime":1697.23,"body":"immune deficiency,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1697.44,"endTime":1698.789,"body":"I'm wondering if you can tell"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1698.856,"endTime":1701.009,"body":"me how I think you've touched"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1701.076,"endTime":1701.819,"body":"on it a little bit."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1702.48,"endTime":1705.24,"body":"But how does, um, how does"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1705.5,"endTime":1709.41,"body":"self care, um, look in your life"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1709.476,"endTime":1709.976,"body":"?"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1710.043,"endTime":1710.64,"body":"Like what shape does it take?"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1711.119,"endTime":1712.289,"body":"I think we've talked about"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1712.356,"endTime":1713.039,"body":"you've listed"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1714.569,"endTime":1716.7,"body":"disclosure and like navigating"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1716.766,"endTime":1718.68,"body":"it kind of more explicitly."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1718.746,"endTime":1721.559,"body":"Some like advanced planning and"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1721.859,"endTime":1724.89,"body":"recognizing as limits as as"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1724.956,"endTime":1727.21,"body":"elements of your self care."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1727.41,"endTime":1728.819,"body":"Um, I'm wondering if there's"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1729.15,"endTime":1730.41,"body":"any other ones that you want to"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1730.89,"endTime":1732.24,"body":"speak to sleep"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1734.67,"endTime":1736.799,"body":"like first and foremost,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1736.866,"endTime":1738.269,"body":"most important over"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1738.336,"endTime":1739.529,"body":"top of everything."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1739.769,"endTime":1740.329,"body":"Sleep."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1741.059,"endTime":1745.74,"body":"Um, yeah, I, I cannot function"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1745.806,"endTime":1748.079,"body":"in life without nine to 10"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1748.146,"endTime":1749.16,"body":"hours of sleep a night."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1751.289,"endTime":1753.48,"body":"And that was something to that"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1753.546,"endTime":1754.89,"body":"I had to recognize that,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1754.956,"endTime":1756.539,"body":"like if I don't get one night"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1756.606,"endTime":1759.93,"body":"of proper sleep, I'm done."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1761.009,"endTime":1763.559,"body":"So sleep is very important."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1765.18,"endTime":1768.69,"body":"Goldilocks and I said I"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1768.756,"endTime":1773.88,"body":"struggle with I think it's not"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1773.946,"endTime":1775.049,"body":"I know I was a competitive"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1775.116,"endTime":1777.72,"body":"dancer five plus days a week"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1777.786,"endTime":1779.789,"body":"all the way up till I was 18"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1779.856,"endTime":1782.2,"body":"and unable to do it anymore."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1782.266,"endTime":1783.0,"body":"And now we know"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1783.18,"endTime":1784.079,"body":"because my illness."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1784.146,"endTime":1786.029,"body":"But so it was really,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1786.15,"endTime":1787.41,"body":"really challenging not to be"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1787.476,"endTime":1788.519,"body":"able to exercise and"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1788.586,"endTime":1789.44,"body":"have that outlet."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1789.506,"endTime":1791.759,"body":"But I've kind of had to find it"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1791.826,"endTime":1792.48,"body":"in different ways."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1792.546,"endTime":1795.42,"body":"So dog walks and having that"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1795.486,"endTime":1798.839,"body":"moment to get outside and shut"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1798.906,"endTime":1801.15,"body":"things off and just have a"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1801.216,"endTime":1802.289,"body":"moment and get a little bit of"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1802.356,"endTime":1803.339,"body":"exercise is really"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1803.406,"endTime":1804.5,"body":"important as well."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1805.5,"endTime":1806.0,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1807.72,"endTime":1809.73,"body":"And you say shut things off."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1809.796,"endTime":1810.599,"body":"What do you mean by that?"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1812.94,"endTime":1815.789,"body":"Well, with my I mean with"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1815.856,"endTime":1816.99,"body":"my job too."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1817.109,"endTime":1819.809,"body":"I spend a lot of time investing"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1819.876,"endTime":1821.789,"body":"myself in other people."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1822.15,"endTime":1825.039,"body":"So it's kind of the two sides"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1825.106,"endTime":1826.74,"body":"is I have the aspect of living"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1826.806,"endTime":1828.24,"body":"at the patient and the"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1828.306,"endTime":1830.279,"body":"struggles and anxieties and"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1830.519,"endTime":1831.75,"body":"everything that comes with that"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1831.816,"endTime":1832.38,"body":"day to day."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1832.71,"endTime":1835.95,"body":"But then I also take on other"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1836.016,"endTime":1837.92,"body":"people's throughout the day."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1837.986,"endTime":1841.019,"body":"So anywhere from 10 to 15"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1841.086,"endTime":1844.109,"body":"people a day, I take on"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1844.44,"endTime":1846.18,"body":"their fear, their anxiety,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1846.246,"endTime":1849.359,"body":"their struggle, their sadness"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1849.426,"endTime":1851.309,"body":"or happiness or whatever"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1851.376,"endTime":1852.029,"body":"it is."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1852.096,"endTime":1854.549,"body":"I spend my day kind of living"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1855.45,"endTime":1857.069,"body":"in this world with all these"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1857.579,"endTime":1858.69,"body":"mostly women, but men"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1858.756,"endTime":1859.256,"body":"and women."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1860.519,"endTime":1862.23,"body":"And it's really important for"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1862.296,"endTime":1864.48,"body":"me to separate the two things,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1865.289,"endTime":1867.96,"body":"especially because stress and"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1868.026,"endTime":1870.269,"body":"anxiety are a big, big factor"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1870.336,"endTime":1871.89,"body":"in my life for being healthy."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1872.13,"endTime":1875.46,"body":"I have learned that whenever I"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1875.526,"endTime":1877.2,"body":"am at my sickest is when I'm in"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1877.266,"endTime":1878.759,"body":"my most stressed out."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1879.869,"endTime":1881.16,"body":"So I'm managing"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1881.226,"endTime":1882.0,"body":"my stress levels."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1882.066,"endTime":1883.2,"body":"I also suffer from"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1883.266,"endTime":1884.519,"body":"pretty extreme anxiety."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1884.586,"endTime":1886.95,"body":"I have I mean, all the way back"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1887.016,"endTime":1888.809,"body":"to kindergarten, preschool."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1888.876,"endTime":1890.369,"body":"I remember having panic attacks"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1890.436,"endTime":1894.48,"body":"so that layered into all of"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1894.546,"endTime":1896.19,"body":"this can be a lot."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1896.256,"endTime":1899.19,"body":"So being able to separate and"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1899.256,"endTime":1902.49,"body":"let go of my professional kind"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1902.556,"endTime":1904.41,"body":"of work life and all the"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1904.476,"endTime":1906.15,"body":"emotions and stress that comes"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1906.216,"endTime":1908.4,"body":"with that and then also be able"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1908.466,"endTime":1910.829,"body":"to take a moment for myself"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1910.896,"endTime":1912.0,"body":"with what I go"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1912.066,"endTime":1914.43,"body":"through personally, um, really,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1914.496,"endTime":1917.19,"body":"really helps me to to stay"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1917.339,"endTime":1919.319,"body":"healthy or healthy ish."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1921.21,"endTime":1925.079,"body":"So it is a it is an emotional"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1925.146,"endTime":1926.819,"body":"physical like like you can't"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1926.886,"endTime":1927.509,"body":"just take care of"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1927.576,"endTime":1928.559,"body":"your physical side."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1928.626,"endTime":1930.779,"body":"It is also the emotional and"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1930.846,"endTime":1931.68,"body":"making it easy to"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1931.746,"endTime":1933.21,"body":"like process."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1934.95,"endTime":1938.339,"body":"And I think recognizing to how"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1938.406,"endTime":1940.68,"body":"much stress affects"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1940.746,"endTime":1941.519,"body":"our bodies."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1942.369,"endTime":1944.14,"body":"And the mental and emotional"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1944.206,"endTime":1946.569,"body":"side of things, how how much"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1946.636,"endTime":1950.079,"body":"our outlooks, you know, just if"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1950.146,"endTime":1951.069,"body":"we're happy or if we're"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1951.136,"endTime":1953.589,"body":"positive or what stage of life"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1953.656,"endTime":1955.509,"body":"or in like how big that has an"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1955.576,"endTime":1956.559,"body":"effect on our physical"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1956.626,"endTime":1957.529,"body":"health is crazy."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1958.269,"endTime":1960.4,"body":"And for me, accepting that,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1961.0,"endTime":1962.38,"body":"like I said, when I'm super"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1962.446,"endTime":1964.24,"body":"anxious or super stressed or"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1964.306,"endTime":1966.009,"body":"maybe living in more of like a"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1966.076,"endTime":1969.819,"body":"negative cloud, my my health,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1970.119,"endTime":1972.19,"body":"my physical struggles, and that"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1972.256,"endTime":1973.46,"body":"is something that I recognize."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1973.526,"endTime":1976.21,"body":"And I really, really do feel so"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1976.276,"endTime":1977.38,"body":"for me personally,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1978.549,"endTime":1980.89,"body":"recognizing that even a little"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1980.956,"endTime":1982.93,"body":"bit more than my physical"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1983.019,"endTime":1984.91,"body":"health care is really"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1984.976,"endTime":1985.93,"body":"important for me."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1987.339,"endTime":1988.66,"body":"It's interesting, I had never"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1988.726,"endTime":1990.73,"body":"thought about Outlook as a"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1990.796,"endTime":1992.5,"body":"factor of living with primary"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1992.566,"endTime":1993.95,"body":"immune deficiency, but it"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1994.15,"endTime":1995.829,"body":"reminds me that I almost"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1995.896,"endTime":1998.349,"body":"constantly say this is the"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1998.416,"endTime":1999.339,"body":"famous brooders quote,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":1999.406,"endTime":2001.71,"body":"which is pain."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2002.88,"endTime":2005.039,"body":"Pain is mandatory, suffering is"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2005.106,"endTime":2008.759,"body":"optional in the sense that life"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2008.826,"endTime":2010.14,"body":"is going to happen and we get"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2010.206,"endTime":2011.759,"body":"to choose how we review it,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2011.826,"endTime":2015.0,"body":"and I had not brought that up"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2015.066,"endTime":2016.5,"body":"to a conscious recognition"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2016.566,"endTime":2017.25,"body":"of self care."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2017.519,"endTime":2018.809,"body":"I really appreciate you"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2018.876,"endTime":2020.16,"body":"pointing that out."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2021.049,"endTime":2024.509,"body":"Um, I'm on that note,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2024.576,"endTime":2027.75,"body":"I actually played with you that"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2027.816,"endTime":2029.009,"body":"says I'll find strength"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2029.076,"endTime":2029.576,"body":"in pain."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2031.589,"endTime":2033.18,"body":"It is a comfort zone."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2033.246,"endTime":2035.49,"body":"But that was kind of kind of"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2035.556,"endTime":2037.269,"body":"like you just stand there."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2037.336,"endTime":2039.059,"body":"Is that like having that look"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2039.126,"endTime":2041.849,"body":"in that like you may be going"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2041.916,"endTime":2043.44,"body":"through something, but the"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2043.506,"endTime":2044.7,"body":"outlook that you have on that"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2044.766,"endTime":2045.75,"body":"and the strength that you take"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2045.816,"endTime":2047.759,"body":"from that is really going"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2047.826,"endTime":2049.26,"body":"to change everything."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2049.8,"endTime":2050.909,"body":"Thank you, Nicole."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2050.976,"endTime":2053.01,"body":"I really appreciate you coming"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2053.076,"endTime":2055.23,"body":"here and sharing all the"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2055.769,"endTime":2058.469,"body":"complex ways that self care"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2058.536,"endTime":2061.269,"body":"takes form in your life."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2061.469,"endTime":2062.969,"body":"I really appreciate also you"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2063.036,"endTime":2064.86,"body":"sharing in complex ways in the"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2064.926,"endTime":2066.179,"body":"sense that you are"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2066.246,"endTime":2067.469,"body":"acknowledging that these are"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2067.536,"endTime":2070.349,"body":"things that allow you to have a"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2070.416,"endTime":2071.639,"body":"meaningful life, but doesn't"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2071.706,"endTime":2073.44,"body":"mean that they are necessarily"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2073.506,"endTime":2075.42,"body":"easy to do, making the harder"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2075.486,"endTime":2076.92,"body":"decisions of what am I going to"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2076.986,"endTime":2078.36,"body":"do today and what do I have"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2078.426,"endTime":2079.289,"body":"capacity to do."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2079.356,"endTime":2080.219,"body":"So I really appreciate"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2080.286,"endTime":2080.82,"body":"you coming on."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2080.989,"endTime":2082.8,"body":"As we wrap up, we are going to"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2082.866,"endTime":2085.019,"body":"move into our last segment,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2085.086,"endTime":2086.969,"body":"which is called Sweet as Pie,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2087.179,"endTime":2089.699,"body":"because I love puns and I'm"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2089.766,"endTime":2092.699,"body":"wondering what is one gift that"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2092.766,"endTime":2094.019,"body":"you have received from living"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2094.086,"endTime":2095.34,"body":"with primary and efficiency?"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2096.389,"endTime":2100.26,"body":"I would probably say my"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2100.949,"endTime":2104.07,"body":"increase in my ability to be"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2104.136,"endTime":2105.659,"body":"more empathetic with people"},{"speaker":"Past 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or"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2128.909,"endTime":2129.57,"body":"health care."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2129.636,"endTime":2132.3,"body":"And if we have I have the"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2132.366,"endTime":2133.619,"body":"ability to kind of take a"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2133.686,"endTime":2135.119,"body":"moment and be like, you know,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2135.186,"endTime":2137.519,"body":"maybe maybe they have something"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2137.586,"endTime":2138.329,"body":"else going on."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2138.84,"endTime":2139.34,"body":"Maybe they're"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2139.406,"endTime":2140.489,"body":"struggling with something."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2140.556,"endTime":2141.809,"body":"Maybe their last health care"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2141.876,"endTime":2144.03,"body":"appointment wasn't a good one."},{"speaker":"Past 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10","startTime":2165.186,"endTime":2167.969,"body":"opportunity to speak or act or"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2168.69,"endTime":2172.26,"body":"kind of let it out before any"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2172.326,"endTime":2173.34,"body":"judgments are made."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2173.406,"endTime":2174.78,"body":"And just to be that extra"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2174.846,"endTime":2176.909,"body":"little little bit more"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2176.976,"endTime":2178.59,"body":"empathetic with everybody"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2178.656,"endTime":2179.28,"body":"that I meet."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2179.82,"endTime":2180.86,"body":"That's wonderful."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2180.926,"endTime":2183.449,"body":"Empathy is a complex thing,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2183.516,"endTime":2184.289,"body":"and I appreciate that."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2184.356,"endTime":2186.599,"body":"Like it has helped you to"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2186.666,"endTime":2188.28,"body":"realize the complexities of"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2188.346,"endTime":2189.9,"body":"humans and also acknowledge"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2190.289,"endTime":2192.869,"body":"humans as people that enter a"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2192.936,"endTime":2193.949,"body":"situation with a story,"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2195.579,"endTime":2197.489,"body":"especially working in a health"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2197.556,"endTime":2198.929,"body":"care environment and being a"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2198.996,"endTime":2199.59,"body":"patient in a"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2199.656,"endTime":2200.849,"body":"health care environment."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2202.5,"endTime":2204.9,"body":"It is it has helped me greatly"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2204.966,"endTime":2208.32,"body":"to truly understand where"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2208.386,"endTime":2209.519,"body":"sometimes people are coming"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2209.586,"endTime":2211.17,"body":"from or the struggles"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2211.236,"endTime":2212.039,"body":"they've gone through."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2213.36,"endTime":2216.809,"body":"So if anything positive from"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2216.876,"endTime":2218.599,"body":"being being a patient."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2219.21,"endTime":2219.949,"body":"Awesome."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2220.05,"endTime":2221.88,"body":"Thank you so much and thank you"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2222.329,"endTime":2225.0,"body":"also for sharing all of your"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2225.36,"endTime":2227.369,"body":"wisdom and experience."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2228.199,"endTime":2229.349,"body":"Thank you for having me."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2230.01,"endTime":2230.699,"body":"A delight"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2232.38,"endTime":2233.28,"body":"also in wrapping up."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2233.346,"endTime":2235.26,"body":"I want to thank the Canadian"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2235.326,"endTime":2236.849,"body":"immuno deficient patient"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2236.916,"endTime":2238.5,"body":"organization Pippo for"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2238.566,"endTime":2239.46,"body":"supporting this podcast"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2239.526,"endTime":2240.34,"body":"without their support."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2240.406,"endTime":2241.949,"body":"This podcast would not be"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2242.016,"endTime":2242.82,"body":"able to exist."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2243.059,"endTime":2246.03,"body":"I also wanted to say that if"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2246.179,"endTime":2248.519,"body":"anything resonated with you and"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2248.586,"endTime":2250.829,"body":"you wanted to share, feel free"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2250.896,"endTime":2254.46,"body":"to email me at a podcast"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2254.526,"endTime":2256.8,"body":"at CPAC IPO."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2257.099,"endTime":2259.469,"body":"See, we may end up sharing it"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2259.536,"endTime":2261.659,"body":"in the wrap up episode at the"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2261.726,"endTime":2262.69,"body":"end of the season."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2263.01,"endTime":2265.289,"body":"Well, that brings us to the end"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2265.356,"endTime":2266.61,"body":"of this episode."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2266.76,"endTime":2268.53,"body":"The next episode that will go"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2268.596,"endTime":2271.44,"body":"up will be January 8th because"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2271.506,"endTime":2272.46,"body":"we are taking some"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2272.526,"endTime":2274.05,"body":"much needed holidays."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2274.38,"endTime":2275.4,"body":"But we're really looking"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2275.466,"endTime":2277.079,"body":"forward to continuing this"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2277.146,"endTime":2278.519,"body":"journey of exploring what it"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2278.586,"endTime":2280.619,"body":"means to live a meaningful life"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2280.686,"endTime":2282.15,"body":"with primary immune deficiency"},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2282.216,"endTime":2282.869,"body":"in the new year."},{"speaker":"Past 10","startTime":2283.699,"endTime":2284.559,"body":"Have a wonderful holiday."}]}