Losing Connections with Others

The conversation first explores the phenomenon of young adults in their twenties "ex-communicating" themselves from their families from a spiritual perspective (rather than a religious or cultural perspective) on why this happens. The hosts share their personal experiences, perspectives, and solutions.  They  highlight the importance of understanding the Cycles of Maturity (21 to 28 years old) and Identity (14 to 21 years old) and the part that may play. 

They discuss the role of boundaries, past life connections, and karma in these situations. The hosts emphasize the need to respect one's true feelings and tune into the bigger spiritual picture, to release expectations and accompanying emotions. They encourage listeners to work with their Spiritual Helpers (Guidance) for healing and peace in these challenging relationships.  They note that the perspectives shared are valid across all types of relationships with family, friends, and colleagues who have cut off communication with you.

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Transcript

There is an epidemic these days of young adults in their twenties who ex communicate themselves from their family and no longer talk to them. And today's topic, we're going to shed some light spiritually on what we feel and why this happens. So welcome back to enthusiastically spiritual. I'm Tom and I'm Teresa. And today we're going to share about this phenomena you might call it or trend from a spiritual perspective, rather than a religious perspective. 

Okay, well there you said it. And so yes, so we have been noticing this out into the, well, some other some things on videos, we've been watching and some people been posting on social media about how the fact that their daughters, their sons no longer talk to them, and they don't understand why they don't understand what happened, what happened and made this happen. 

So for myself personally, I have had this happen. So I divorced in 2017. My both of my children no longer talk to me. It's been six and a half years. One talked to me a little bit then then moved away. So, you know, there's a bigger picture perspective on why this happens to parents and, and, you know, loved ones when they just no longer talk to you. Yeah. And I suppose I've been through it where I had that situation, you know, with two sons. 

And they went quiet for a while. And then now of course we communicate and everything's fine. Uh, and I imagine we'll go through some other periods of time. I myself, you know, avoided talking to my parents in my twenties. I talked to them some, I always had a base respect for them so that I, I kept some communication going, but I know for me, it was really about, you know, uh, that cycle of maturity from 21 to 28 where, I was looking for who am I really? How do I want to live my life? 

And, uh, in my particular experience, you know, I was raised by very conservative, uh, Catholics and I was embarking on finding out about spiritual things. And as I discovered my spiritual awareness, I often would share it with people. I get real excited about it. This idea that we are.

We have guidance, the idea of reincarnation, that there's a purpose for all of us being attracted to each other. And, you know, at first that was met with some open -mindedness and positive comments. And then later they, I think one of the parents decided that that wasn't being Catholic enough. And so therefore, you know, there was a bit of a, I had to clamp that down. You know, I couldn't, I couldn't express myself freely. So.

I also did some silly things, I would say now, in my 20s, and had my maturing experiences. That's something that I realized that when we set people free in our society, at say 21, it used to be, I guess if it's 18 or 21, whatever it is, 21 seems to work for me. We say, okay, you know enough, you can orient yourself around the world. You can communicate, you can get from one place to another. You know how to count money theoretically and, um, you know, go off and start maturing. And then it usually, you know, in the later twenties, people come back together. 

Yeah. For myself. Um, I feel a lot of it is, especially as a parent is, um, it's about having really high expectations. So in my situation is one of them's getting married in the near future and I'm not invited. So in this situation, of course, I went through, you know, quite a bit of inner turmoil around this and also pointing fingers like, you know, why is this happening? Why is that person doing this to me? And I, you know, I really recognize that, you know, when we point a finger at someone where there's fingers pointing back to us also. So where, where am I?

Hell, where am I holding myself liable for this situation to a certain degree, right? Because whatever this person is going through, this soul is going through, that's their personal journey. But the aspect of not communicating with either one of us anymore, what is that about for me? So I had to look back and recognize that a lot of it for myself was I didn't have boundaries around this soul.

I really walked on eggshells a lot around this soul in the sense of like, you know, if something happened, oh, I don't want to make this person upset. So and then whenever I got to a point in my life with my understanding of who I am and what I was going through at that time, I came down with some strong new wisdom and I tried to implement this with that person and it backfired in a certain way because they could not relate to.

You know what I was trying to come across with and the deeper understanding and i guess back to what you're saying time with really the cycle of maturity which is where the souls are right now that. The majority of what i hear from other people and seeing videos etc are there in their twenties early thirties is the fact that this is a time expiration and i have to remember myself to that i'm in my mid fifties there in their mid to late twenties and the...

The things I've experienced, what I've gone through, the acting out, the interactions that I've actually energetically done to people, which has not been nice because I was in my learning also is that we all have to go through these learnings. So, you know, pointing a finger at someone and saying, why aren't you doing this? Because I want to go to that wedding or I want a relationship with you really is not the right thing that I've recognized that because of the fact that you know, I play a part in it also. So what is your feeling around this, Tom? 

Well, that's what's great about working with your guidance and your inner sensitivity. And of course we can receive messages through our four spiritual gifts, you know, our, our intuition or psychic abilities. And, you know, to, uh, when you know, you're not feeling like, wow, this is not achieving, you know, the, uh, what's your thrust?

The followl through of my heart's desire. Yeah, you're not your heart's desires are not. Wow, that's what's going on here. And, uh, but we also have to be, uh, when, as, as I begin to evolve spiritually, you know, there is a point where I've, if I've learned to respect myself and respect my boundaries, then, uh, you know, it's not, it's going to ruffle people's feathers who are used to doing and saying and being however they wanted to be.

You know, now I'm respecting myself and they're either going to move out of your environment or they're going to, you're going to lift them up. And, you know, I've lived enough life that, you know, two things I'd like to say is that, yes, I've learned something the last 40 years. That's what strikes me when I evaluate where folks are in their twenties. And, uh, I relate to things that my parents or grandparents said to me.

You know, at that stage of my life and that perspective or mentors, even some mentors, you know, which at the time I was like, what, what are they saying? You know, kind of a thing. So that's the whole purpose. We're here to learn and grow. We're here to mature. And, uh, another area that could be affecting you. And this is something you can check with your guidance is this is a past life situation. Am I reliving something? You know, is there some karma there?

To me, karma is just an energy pattern that keeps showing up because I haven't regrouped it. So as soon as I meet that person again, this lifetime, I can stimulate that same. I am reminded of it. My sensitivity remembers, and there's probably something for me to grow through here now again, you know, while why I've attracted that soul back into my environment or that state of consciousness, you know, so that's one thing you can check.

And then you can also check, are these people that we love and respect and, and really just have the best intentions for, you know, are they being influenced by, uh, outside confusion and people around them, or even which could be in physical bodies or outside physical bodies, you know, that's the funny thing. And what's their agenda, you know, is their agenda to feel more secure. So they're going to choose a certain side or, you know, and I'm not saying that.

Like I won't go there with you to tell you why you're experiencing what you're experiencing. Um, and it could be like, if you look at yourself a bit like, well, geez, I catered to that child a lot. And now this is where I'm at. You know, this is, uh, I didn't set a pattern early enough. So now I'm kind of learning about that now, but here's the kicker, all this. You ready for the kicker everybody? 

The more that I regroup this sort of thing, I realized, you know, they're not doing anything wrong. That's just a concept I have. I didn't do anything wrong. Now, if I had to do it over, I would do things differently. I might say things differently.

So I don't have to beat up myself. Uh, and then if I relax and meditate with my Guidance and just tune into what are my true feelings, you know, there is no time. We've all been together before. We're going to probably be together again, you know, until we work these things out. And then I'll also say that, you know, from a spiritual perspective, if there's a contract there, if there's unfinished business, that soul's going to show up. There's no question about it. 

And, uh, next lifetime, maybe this lifetime, you know, you don't want to hear that because, oh my God, it's next lifetime. But in fact, uh, it probably isn't next lifetime because we're all here and now, and you attract, you know, souls that move through you are somewhat evolved or they wouldn't have been attracted to, you know, you have to at least be where your parents are at, you know, or a higher state of consciousness to move to come through them. So there's lots that I've, I've shared about here.

Some of this will resonate with you folks. Some of this won't, but if I struck a chord with one of those comments, that's probably something those of you who know how to work with your Guidance more clearly, that's a good thing to meditate on. You know what? Ooh, I feel like there's a little bit of a past life thing. What was the situation? What keeps occurring? And I know I've had that, you know, with other folks in my life where I've just thought, boy, that reaction was over the top from somebody I knew and

you know, as I delved into it, when I kind of meditate on it or got some more information, oh yeah, there's a pattern. You know, this, I've been stimulated this way every time and so on and so forth. So, you know, we call it mystical because it's not obvious to us, you know, but we've been trained, we've been programmed to react from our emotions. And then we've been trained to, you know, judge ourselves or judge others. And spiritually, there's just evaluation.

There's no judgment. There's what works, what doesn't work, what I would do differently next time. And, uh, you know, my, my psychic sense of this is you just give this a little bit of time. This is all going to clear up. I mean, it's, it's just not so fun to go through it while you have to go through it. Yeah. So a few things that pop in my mind as you're talking about.

The things you just talked about. Yeah, that was a lot. That was a checklist. Yeah, and it was like, let me go back a few sentences ago because, well, the first thing that pops into my mind is that the age of the 20s and if I think about when I was in my 20s and all this, oh, I was married, so I'm in a whole different situation. I had kids, etc. But where we're at energetically right now on the planet, we just came through the plandemic.

So that was a few years of chaos, right? And a lot of people were isolated. A lot of people went through a lot of and are still going through soul quakes, which is why I wrote the book, The Soul Quake Survival Guide, because of the fact that, you know, and when I wrote it was during the pandemic because of the fact that so much was going on. It just well, and also spirits suggest that I write this book. So, but recognizing what these souls have gone through in the last, you know, few years and how what an impact that has put on them, their journeys, who they are. 

And if you are a person or you know people that are not accessing the spiritual part of who they are, if they're missing that element, that's a big element because they don't understand why they're feeling the way they are, why they're, you know, what's coming at me around this and that and what do I do with all this? And I think that's truly the blessing that I've had in the last you know decade and a half to almost two decades of understanding more and more about who I am as a soul and why I'm here with my Guidance and working with my energy and etc. is it's giving me it's give me such peace is give me clarity not only you know like of course when this happened and I know about the wedding coming up and i'm not invited of course yeah I'm upset but then i look at like thompson with my guidance and i get inside the stock is the one the bigger picture you know what.

Maybe honestly, energetically, I don't need to be there. Maybe it's something that she needs to do on her own as a soul with her new, you know, with her loved one and the family. And that gives my, that gives my heart peace because I'm like, okay, I'm where I'm at. She's where she's at. You know, I love back and support her and you know, and always, but there's just timeframes where energetically I don't need to be involved. So that's what comes. That's one thing came to me. What do you want to say about that, Tom?

Well, that's beautiful because as I was regrouping with my guidance over similar situations over time that have come up that I get stimulated about, you know, where something didn't meet my expectations or someone didn't live up to my expectations. And what I realized was, you know,

I felt this from my feelings. This is the key. I can think about this stuff and it doesn't, you know, it, yeah, I can, I can parrot something in my brain and say, well, they must need this. But if I truly tune into my true feelings and I get back into that space where I'm tuned into the bigger picture, then I realized that that's for me, that soul needs to go through this experience.

Okay. And my true feelings say, and I'm speaking of more of my own situations that, uh, wow. Okay. I'm of service. That soul needs to go through this. This is all part of it. And I love and back them and, and, uh, accept them and respect them no matter what. Now I'm still going to have my boundaries of what's respecting me. I will respect you.

I'm not going to let go of my boundaries. And if I, just like in our marriage or a marriage or business relationships, you know, I have to be clear in my communication and I have to respect your boundaries and you respect my boundaries. And we, we have learning experiences where we find out where people's boundaries are. And, uh, you know, so that's all a part of it. One of the real keys though, that struck me when I was working with my guidance.

And again, I say, I felt this, I felt it in more my true feelings is the way that I would express it. And this is why I buy it. And I have to remember what are my true feelings about this rather than my emotional feelings, because my emotions are upset. You know, I, in my emotions, I'm not happy about the scenarios that have played out, you might say, but in my true feelings, uh, I realized that the best thing I can do to heal the situation is be that loving, happy and free, moving forward, paying attention to my business, working with the people that I came to work with, doing for myself so that I can share with others. When I maintain and monitor my energy might be another way of saying it, that's the biggest healing. So the more I'm thinking about, that's great that they're doing this.

I mean, and that's a little bit of that pep talk that we give ourselves, but those positive affirmations, uh, but you'll buy it once you feel it, you know, that's the whole key. The language of spirit is those feeling impressions through those four gifts. And once for me, once I have that picture, it's like, okay, this is, and I, like in my situation, like it's, it's like, you know, it's a new ground for me. It's kind of, it feels a little tenuous and rocky ground or a little like, you know.

This is new stuff. This is a new plateau for me to work with those souls at in this way. Otherwise I just revert to the same old, same old patterns of behavior. You know, that's going to perpetuate it for lifetime. So what do you feel about that? Yeah, I do feel a lot about that. Thank you for asking. Yeah. What I feel about that is,

You know like i'm mentioning how you know i've gone through what i'm what thirty years when i know twenty seven years ahead of them right so and what i put together myself and energetically as we learn and grow people around us are not going to sometimes relate to who we really are and relate to the choices we make or relate to 
their expectations. 

I got to remember that too. Like not only do I have that's a good one, but they have their expectations and their expectations might be to keep crazy mom who is, um, who is all spiritual out of the picture. So no one knows what's going on over there. I mean, seriously, it could be that it really could be that simple, like on their expectations. So, so like what Tom was mentioning, and I I've been doing the same thing, obviously working with my guidance, getting insights and getting clarity to help me move through this situation and the future, because who knows how long they may or may not connect with me. It might be the rest of their lives. 

It might be for a couple of years. It might be who knows, right? And I don't even know. But being OK with, you know, I know they're safe. They're doing their journey and having no expectations of when they will connect, if ever, and what type of relationship or not I'll have with them.

So that's what comes to me is really, you know, having that understanding and that feeling like Tom saying in our, in our, my heart and also in my gut that I'm okay. Like I'm okay, they're okay. And you know, the situation it's sucky as it is, but you know what? It just is what it is. Well, and I, I feel that it's important to acknowledge that you go, wow, well, we're wasting time. We could be sharing our lives together. We could be communicating more. I could be helping you more. 

I suppose it really helps when people know where their contract begins and end and where that relationship begins and end. You know, one of the things that I always remember is one of my mentors said, you know, children are a passing opportunity. And, you know, once you have children, you know, for most of us, I mean, I know I felt this way, it was, it was a wonderful experience. It was as a father,

Uh, and a husband of, uh, in, in that situation, I wanted to provide, I wanted to, uh, help them, you know, uh, live their heart's desires to be happy and free and so forth. But I have to respect that that soul is really not my child. That soul is a soul who's here to learn and grow.

And I had the privilege of being in a close relationship with them. And, uh, you know, for me, I believe in reincarnation because I've had insights into past lives and, you know, I've had many children I've been, uh, I've had many parents, you know, and we trade off roles, they say, so, you know, all those things are available, but rather than making an intellectual exercise of all the choices and right, you know, rights and wrongs, I would just check with my Guidance really.

You know, every day, take a moment. This is something I've been doing recently about a few situations that are occurring in our environment where I just go, okay, guidance, you know, like just tune me into what's the solution. Um, how can I trust myself more? What, uh, what do I need to be more aware of so that, um, you know, I get hints from them and just recheck. 

And the funny thing about guidance is the answers are often so simple. And what I've been sort of going through is that, oh, that answer is too simple. I want it to be more how my picture and my concepts have, you know, my idea of success or my ideas of my concepts of these things. And so, you know, this is why we say it's really important for people to understand or to work with, get a sense of what are my true feelings.

What do I discern about that? What are my emotions versus my true feelings? And be patient with yourself. Oh, I like the patience because I that's just what's coming up as you're saying that is that so, you know, even in the midst of when I found out about the certain situations going on and that I wasn't included and other family members in the other side were included, you know, I'll tell you, I had I had tears. I mean, I went through I emoted.

And I moved a lot of that energy because I think that's the thing too, is a lot of people, you know, hold back and it's like, no, it's like, you know, the process of however it looks for you listeners, you know, because it may be different than mine. Like, you know, I have to get upset and I need to, you know, to cry or to, you know, to get angry and go through the feelings that I'm having those really the emotions, I mean, moating, right. But that also helps me in my process then go, OK, now that I've gotten that out of me,

The next I'm settling down. Okay, so what's the next layer? Then that's when guidance comes in for me, it did and gave me the insights and gave me the, you a different perspective versus the high expectations I had of being at a daughter's wedding and, and being in, you know, and having tears there. And, you know, and that's also to me, it's funny, but it kind of goes back to, you know, what we've all grown up on the Cinderella story or the, you know, I watch all the bride shows and I always have. And.

And you know, even the, you know, love is blind and all these, you know, all these stupid things that I love about love and connecting. No, they're not stupid, but it's just funny. I guess I shouldn't say the word stupid. I should say that there it's just, it's just pieces of that I enjoy. I even at one point wanted to be, um, a wedding planner. And then I'm like, no, I don't want to do that because it's, you know, it's too, too much, too many details. And I'm a pass on that and, and working with, you know, brides and all that stuff. But, but anyway, it's just, um,

Yeah, that's what comes to me. It's just the way that I, you know, have moved through things in order to be okay with the situation of what it is. Well, I always come back to, um, you know, as, as I tune into the bigger picture, uh, it just helps me release a lot of those emotions. You know, I can, yeah, I just, you know, you're, it's the feeling gift that,

wants to hold on to the emotion. And so as it moves through your feeling part, that feeling spiritual gift, you know, you have that emotion. It's a way of expressing your feelings in this.

I guess what's coming to me too, from spirit sharing with me, you know, it's just like pinpoint where is the, how much have you disappointed in you or her, or, you know, just get some facts from your guidance that, you know, the thing I find is that, um, society is not going to, they're going to, you know, they won't reinforce what we're talking about generally, you know, out there in the media, there's a lot of talk about being a victim and.

Oh, that's so sad. I'm so sad for you and all that. And, you know, you re I found I really, and I'm not always that great at this, but I need to do this more where it's like, you know, that's great because we're all going to learn something from this. You know, that's being positive about the experience. All right. I get a chance to look at my expectations, you know, and what is it in me? Because really this whole situation is not even about you.

That person is, it's all about that person and what they're experiencing. And that's where they're at. They didn't do anything wrong. That's, uh, and probably as a mother, your heart goes out to that, that soul. That's what, you know, if you can really tune into what am I really feeling here? You know, that I know they're going through something. In fact, that's, you shared that before you felt you felt what they were going through about.

Even what they're doing is how they're truly feeling you're picking up on. Absolutely. You know, that's how sensitive you are. So I come back for me. My solution is, and you folks who are listening, you know, you tune into what your solutions are, but my solutions are, you know what? I'm going to be a happy and free loving person. I respect you. You respect me and, uh, I'll do the best I can. And, uh,

You know, nobody's really, it's something it's a, it's an affirmation. Nobody's really done anything wrong. It's a learning experience and the bigger picture, we won't even remember it happened. Right. You know, that's the funny thing about all these things that we go through, you know. Yeah. So we hope today listeners that you might've gotten some insights for yourself on maybe working with other people, situations at.

Especially when people don't relate to you any longer, whether it be because of what you're doing spiritually or what you're doing in your life, or maybe there's been some, like Tom mentioned before, some karmic stuff or some cellular memories that have moved people out of your realm and that it's okay. And having those tools for yourself that you can really understand how to get by things and understand a bigger picture by working with your guidance. So even though we talked about the younger generation that we've been working with lately.

But you know, this can happen. This happens all the time. It happens with employees. It happens with close relatives. It happens with friends. So, so we hope that this gave you some insights to, um, to think about and ponder about a bit. And, um, we've really enjoyed sharing today. Yeah. And that's a great point. I think that you made this can happen with employees and relatives and colleagues. And, uh, you know, we're really just talking about relationships and roles that we play. So thank you for letting us share.

We've had a blast and if you have enjoyed this, please do share this with any other friends, family that are in connection with you. Hey, if you have anybody that's connecting with you and they want to hear something about those that don't maybe share this with them. Yeah, send it to them anyway. And until next week, just remember that life is too short to not be enthusiastic about your unique journey.