I Am Who I Am-2

Tombo Baldwin is back with Part 2 of “I Am Who I Am”—this time to sharpen the point he felt he didn’t fully land in the earlier episode. Over a mug of post-holiday hot chocolate (heavy eggnog… because of course), Tombo breaks down what authentic living really looks like: being the same person in private as you are in public—no masks, no performance, no double life.

He talks about how authenticity grows when you stop trying to impress people, stop hiding parts of yourself, and get comfortable saying: “This is who I am… flaws and all.” From leaving behind old identities that no longer serve you, to recognizing the “taint” life can layer on top of your genuine self, Tombo challenges you to dig back down to the real you—the one that existed before all the noise, the striving, and the approval-chasing.

A big theme is quiet + self-reflection: asking yourself “Who is the genuine me?” and learning to recognize the difference between your true inner voice and that old critical “background tape” that tries to shame you. Tombo also leans hard into forgiveness, especially self-forgiveness, as the tool that helps you rewrite your story and release impossible standards that keep you stuck.

He wraps with a powerful real-life moment: a realtor named Ed once looked him in the eye and said, “Don’t miss out on the joy of being a father.” Tombo calls that a life-changing agreement—proof that the words you accept can shape your future. The takeaway is simple: find the memories, words, and moments that align with the genuine you—agree with those—then reject everything else.

Bottom line: when you reconnect with your genuine self and live in congruence, you stop chasing a life you think you should want—and start building the life you actually want.

Transcript

0:25

Hey, hey, hey, welcome back all you yuppers. Hey, this is another Yup I Got You podcast with Tombo Baldwin. Oh yeah, we got the Hero 13 going here. Actually made it through the previous episode with no overheating, so we're excited here today. Hey, I got some amazing post-holiday hot chocolate here. And my favorite mug, it is mostly eggnog with a scoop of hot chocolate mix that my wife, the model Adrienne, made with monk fruit, cocoa powdered, and dehydrated milk. Really, really good. Hey, this is a part two of a podcast that I did. I am who I am. And I realized after I was done with that, I was really happy with the podcast after the second take. And I was actually really happy with the first take, although I, there were some mistakes. And you're like, there Tom, there's always mistakes. It's like, this is like such, it's why we listen. We love all the bloopers and the phone calls. And all right, so there was an extraordinarily large amount of stuff in it, but I actually published it as bonus content so you can listen to the one that was released that is available to everyone. And if you are an exclusive subscriber at Buzzsprout, that's the best way to get there. Or you can follow the link on my Instagram reels or Facebook posts and get to be a supporter for $5 a month. And I'm not gonna beat that. I think it's worth the value. And it just goes to help cover the costs, the hosting fee, the equipment. A lot of stuff goes into a podcast if you don't know. And to actually try to make one that's decent, you're like, Tom, I think you may be exaggerating about your podcast. Anyway, so if you wanna hear the first try of I Am Who I Am, you can find that in the exclusive content and you get access by becoming a subscriber. But the one thing I realized after I finished that episode, I wasn't quite conveying what I wanted. And so I went back and I did some research and actually I do use chat GPT and I find it as a helpful tool and just ask it some questions to help me kind of separate out my thoughts. And it was really helpful in describing an authentic person. And I realized much of what I wanted to get to was that authentic, that you are the same person in private as you are out in the world. Like there's no difference, the things you think and the ways you act. So you're not a different person at home than you are at work or that you are with your friends. You're the same person. And for me, one of the things that I realized that I was approaching authenticity, and this was years ago, and my inner desire to become more authentic is people are like, I smoke cigars with friends. I no longer smoke cigars. It was a health choice that I made. I love cigars, but they were no longer serving me. So I thanked them for their stint when I really enjoyed them and said, you know, this isn't part of my future. Didn't curse them and I'm not gonna curse them as bad. I really enjoyed that season. Moving forward, they're not a part of my future. But in that season, I hung out with a bunch of guys and cigars are great for guys because it's probably the only time they actually sit and talk to each other. Because when you start a cigar, small or even a medium cigar, you're there an hour, possibly two hours, depending on how fast you smoke it. And you can't smoke it that fast or it's not enjoyable. So there's a lot of conversation that happens, which is, I think it almost outweighs the health benefits and I actually miss that to some degree of not smoking. Just because there's community and there's connection and there's depth and it's really actually quite amazing. But in those seasons, people are like, oh, I'm gonna tell Adrian that you said that. I was like, go ahead, I have nothing to hide. And I realized I was making progress of living my public life and my private life, my home life, authentically, I wasn't afraid anymore of being a pretense. I wasn't trying to impress people. I wasn't trying to hide things from my wife. What I said in public could come back to her and I had no worries. And so part about being an authentic person is living in congruence. Part of it is being okay with your flaws. I'm moving into that. I realize what my imperfections are. I realize things that I'm not happy with, but I'm okay. I'm whole as that. So that is part of what I wanted to reach and I am who I am, that I'm comfortable with who I am and that the duplicity that I'm no longer trying to impress people and my flaws can be out there because it's like, that is who I am. I used to try to hide things and pretend I had it more together. The image of having more money than you do, it's like, hey, this is who I am. And I've made great strides to living authentically in that first podcast. I think really part of my intention was to speak to that, to bring all of our different facets of our lives together and to maybe leave those parts of our lives that really we don't want anymore. And it's okay to say, hey, thank you for your service. I no longer want to strive to look rich. And so I'm gonna leave that part behind. Thank you for your service. You helped get me to a place where I can really be okay with who I am and the place I am financially and you were of service to me. And so there's gratitude there, but you're retiring that. And so you're becoming more authentic as I am becoming more authentic. I think that the things I want to talk about today is the genuine. When I talk back to my childhood and remembering those moments, remembering that smile that I had, that I just, I didn't even have to try. I just smiled. I didn't even realize I was smiling. That is a genuine Tom. That somehow along the way got buried, got covered up, got dirty. And it is, I believe for you also, part of what I'm talking about and authenticity is you discovering that genuine you. Who were you designed, created to be? I believe in a creator. So I'm gonna use those words. You can use other words or you can get the principle here without having to agree that you were designed or created. I think you've heard me say this before. There's great evidence to support that you were, but it doesn't matter. But you have a genuineness that is just you. And maybe through the striving, through the hardships of life, through the difficult times, through the things that experiences that have come into your world. And I called them taint. And I like that word in that there are things that are added to our life that affect us. And if we aren't proactive to remove them, they discolor us and they take our image away and they cover up. So if we're looking in this like quantum mirror and we're trying to see the genuine self, the Tom with the smile, what I see before I begin to do a lot of this work, and it's been a process of doing this work, what I saw was striving for approval, building a physical body so I could be proud of myself. And I got identity not out of who I was and the genuineness of who I was, but out of this thing that I built. And then I built a beautiful life and a beautiful house and we had beautiful cars. And as I look in the mirror, there's no more smile. There's stress and there's strain on my face. And that genuine Tom, Tombo Baldwin there is covered up by all these things that he added on to fill some voids. And we do have voids and these things come and they do help us survive, but they cover up. And so part of this podcast is to help you as I've helped myself find the genuineness and others have helped me like Caitlin that I've talked about and conversations with Adrian have been hugely helpful. One thing I so appreciate about my wife and if you have a spouse or a friend or a sibling or somebody that gives you an honest reflection of yourself, it is so helpful, even it's honest and it doesn't have to be cruel, sometimes it's hard, but it helps give us an honest reflection to begin to say, is that the genuine me? And you're like, who is the genuine me? As we talked about before, and I'm gonna continue to reiterate this and I'm gonna say it over and over and over and over again, because it's so important. It's one of the simplest, most profound principles that always works. Ask yourself that question, who is the genuine Dave? Bob, Kate, Catherine, Alyssa, who is that? Put your name in there, ask yourself in the quiet and guaranteed something will come, thought in your head, image in your head, memory in your head, words in your head. Just a slight word of warning here, if you're not used to doing that, there is a background tape that's playing in your head and it's one that's been trained through years of being critical of yourself and most of us have this, I still have this, I have quieted it, I have turned it down, the fade is on, it's faintly there, but it often in those moments wants to speak up and say something negative. Your inner world, that quantum answer that comes from in you or somewhere out there, but it is you, I'm not exactly sure where it exists, it exists, I believe, outside your body in the quantum realm has honest, genuine, right answers. They're not cringe answers, they don't make you feel shame and guilt. Okay, we all feel shame and guilt because we're dealing with things, you know, we live in this world, we maybe eat too much, we maybe do too much drugs, maybe we drink too much, maybe we have too much sex, maybe we have, sex is not healthy and what I mean is outside a covenant relationship, I believe that sex, yeah, this will probably get me in trouble, but that's okay, I like being in trouble. I think anybody that has had some experience in life will probably agree with me just from an experience standpoint that sex is best within a covenant relationship, it is most fulfilling and we use it as a crutch or to fill a hole of some kind, it does, it taints that genuineness of it, you know, we can get past the right and wrong of it and find the question, the better question is, is this good for me, is this the best thing for me, is it the best thing for this person and I think it's a decent question, I don't really wanna get stuck here and I don't wanna argue the right and wrong of it because really my goal here is to give you, from my perspective and my experiences, the things that make you whole, the things that bring you purpose, the things that will put you in a state of bliss where there's joy, there's happiness and there's peace and it all exists and it's like taking, all right, we're gonna talk drugs here, but say you have a really bad toothache and you take a painkiller and all of a sudden that pain's gone and you just feel relief, it's what a state of bliss is like, you feel relief, you feel at peace, you feel like you can relax, you feel like you can rest, you feel like things have made right and so you can have that without a drug, but it does take work, it is connecting with your genuine self, what is that, who is that? For me, it's a person that smiles a lot, it's a person that loves people, loves to be connected with people, loves family, loves to teach, instruct, father, I love to father, I love to see people have success and there are similar and different things in you that are good and need to come out and as you want to manifest a different reality, it is absolutely critical to connect with those or you're gonna get something that you really don't want. When you connect with your authentic self, your genuine self, your living authentically, the world will become magical, it will literally become magical, you will from the inside out just shine. So how do we get there? Yep, we already went over the first step, who is the genuine you? And then when you get that answer and it may come in the images of pictures, like for me, the anchor point and you'll get an anchor point is a cowboy and I was even today as I was driving home, I was living in that moment and I was experiencing it as I could remember it and I was adding to it and expanding it in my mind's eye, in the quietness of my driving and you're like, how do you have quietness when you're driving? I have decided to be a loving driver. Pass me, cut in front of me, whatever you need to do, I am glad to help. What has happened for me, incredible peace. I can now use my driving time, not being a vigilante driver and enforcing this unspoken law about don't cut in front of me, you gotta take your turn, blah, blah, blah, into valuable time because I'm driving peacefully and I can pay attention because I'm not being aggressive to my inner thought life and experiencing that joy, that satisfaction in that moment and moving it forward into the present day. I'm almost, no, I am rewriting the narrative back then, taking that and expanding it through the past into the future. So I am being transformed, I am transforming from a past memory, taking it there, moving it through my childhood, through those tumultuous teen years, through those hard years where there were a lot of things that came in, tainted the genuine Tom. The things that came in that said, oh, this is who you wanna be, this is who you should be, this is what a good Tom Baldwin looks like, whether it was my parents, whether it was the TV, whether it was the people at school, you need to go to college, you need to do this, you get shooted and told what you should do with no regard who the genuine Tom is. Nobody asked me those questions, those deep questions. Who are you, Tom? To understand that maybe none of that stuff was for me, but I took it because it was offered, I didn't necessarily know better, kinda moved away from the genuine Tom, so we need to bring it back. Who are you? As I'm moving this bliss memory forward, it is rewriting those narratives, I'm feeling it through those times, forgiving myself, forgiveness is so critical as you look to the past and as I'm taking this memory forward saying, well, Tom, that was the best you knew now and you made the best decision that you could, I am gonna wash this blissful memory over that and that if you had a chance to go back, this is my chance, I'm doing it, okay, you're like, wow, this is like reality time, Tom, I think that's a bunch of bullshit. Well, don't do it then, okay? The worst that could happen, it doesn't work. I can tell you that it works, okay? But if you don't try, you'll never know and that means you're just a, I don't call anybody names, but I think someone else may say, idiot. It takes little effort, but bringing those memories, washing those over at the same time, forgiving myself, saying I did the best I could and this decision didn't lead to my best self, but I forgive you because this was the best and you don't even need a because, you know? Forgiveness is a choice and I choose to live in a constant state of forgiveness towards others especially, but even more especially towards myself. We don't tend to forgive ourselves. We hold ourselves often to this imaginary standard that is nobody's standard, but somehow it formed in our life and we made this rock 10 commandments standard that we continue to judge ourselves by. You live in a clean house, but it isn't clean enough. You have a nice car, but it isn't nice enough. You have a nice house, but it isn't nice enough. You have a beautiful girlfriend, boyfriend, but they're not beautiful enough. The standard, this crazy standard. Let it go, forgive yourself, release that standard and so you can begin to take that bliss and wash it over and as you do, this enables you to look at those things that are not pretty in your life. Okay, we all have them, those things we're not proud of, those acts that we maybe did and we're not proud of and we can lay it to rest by saying something like, I forgive you for that episode and you were young, you made a mistake and we're choosing to leave that behind. Moving forward, this is the person I wanna be. I can't necessarily take this away, but I forgive myself and I'm moving forward and this is who I'm gonna be. As you connect with the genuine you, you're building your authentic self and you're even adding things to who you wanna be. I'm adding things. When I was a kid and I smiled all the time, I didn't necessarily wanna be a father. As a teenager, I wanted to have sex, right? Who doesn't, okay? And if you don't, it's not natural. You should want to have sex. And a covenant relationship, but you should have hormone surging and that urge should be in you and you should want that. Oh, Tom is having some brain flatulence here. Well, we're gonna have a drink of hot chocolate as he regroups here. Hmm. That's really good. I may have to rewind. I've absolutely forgot where I was going. I know I was talking about forgiveness and you're like, Tom, how do you do that all of a sudden? I'm not sure, but sometimes it just happens. We were talking about reconnecting with authentic self. I'll probably be listening to this song like, dude, how can you not remember? And it's like, that's because you said the word sex and you got all whatever. Anyway, let's move forward. And maybe Tom will catch and you're like, but I really like the thought process you were going. I'm sorry, maybe I'll make an addendum when I remember I'm filling the GoPro here. We're warming up a little bit, but we're still not doing too bad. So as you're moving forward, forgiveness of self, becoming, seeing that person, oh, father, I'm getting there, yeah. Oh, well, that was a kind of whoop, how was that a minute and a half? I'm sorry for that. And I just trust that the quantum field will return that minute or you got some, a mass amount of entertainment out of my little brain flatulence there. But I didn't know I wanted to be a father. I have added that. And it was kind of a discovery where a real estate agent spoke into my life, Kate, this is an agreement. This was not a poison agreement. This was a life changing agreement. We were selling our first house in Missoula, a house I bought for $27,500 with a house payment of 250 a month. And you're like, holy shit, Tom, that's amazing. It was. Old house, lots of work. Me and my father, who has since passed, put a lot of work into that, sold that house for $80,000. You're like, nice job, I know, right? That was a point in my life I was really engaged in possibilities. I had moved out of the taint. I jumped back in the taint shortly after that through some other circumstances. But there was some more clarity on that time where I was expanding possibilities. And one of those was that I made a lot of money. Adrian and I made a lot of money on the house. But the realtor that sold it was an older man. All I remember now is his name was Ed. And he was asking us what we were gonna do. I'm like, I'm gonna go to MSU, Montana State University. I'm gonna become an architect. And he's like, you're gonna have kids? I'm like, I don't know, we're gonna wait a while. He looks me square in the eye. And this was a life-changing moment. He's like, don't miss out on the joy of being a father. Something in me agreed with that and held onto that, has changed my life, has given me amazing experiences, gave me amazing kids, and had, I think he spoke quantum prophetic words to me that changed my future when I agreed with that. So that's why it's so important when you're looking for your authentic life and your genuine self, find those words, find those events, find those memories, and agree with them. And the ones that come up that are against that say, thank you, but no thank you. I'm gonna be this person. So we're gonna actually wrap up today's podcast. I think, I think we hit it, talking about discovering the genuine you and then living authentically that what you do in private is what you do in public. What you think, what you say is a reflection of the genuine you. And as you get there, then you find the reality that you really want to live in. And you begin speaking the words, taking the action, and doing the things that get you there. My friends, I will probably do a turbo bite with more practical advice. So again, exclusive subscriber, you have access to that for only $5 a month. And hey, I do, I love you. I'm proud of you. You're doing the hard work. This is not easy stuff to do. You are doing an amazing job. Good job. I got you. I do. I got you. Have some of this hot chocolate as I'm wrapping up and the camera's still on.