Resisting Holiday Pressures and Embracing Inner Peace

Ever felt the gut-wrenching guilt of uttering a simple 'No' during the festive frenzy? Picture this: your overbearing Aunt Martha is disappointed because you did not buy her the expensive perfume she hinted at, or your frenemy from high school is throwing an extravagant Christmas party and you'd rather stay home and chill. In our latest episode, we tackle the real elephants in the room - setting boundaries, saying 'No,' and navigating through the uncomfortable underbelly of the holiday season.

We then switch gears to a tranquil haven of self-care. We'll walk you through a serene journey of observing your breath, tapping into your innate flow, and teasing out precious moments of peace. A gentle reminder that these tranquil respites are always within your reach; feel free to return to them whenever you need. Join us in this transformative conversation designed to spark self-growth and awaken your consciousness. Tune in now, and let's embark on this journey together!

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:38

Well, hello, dear listeners, and welcome to Awakened Conscious Conversations podcast. As we make it towards the end of the year, and if you're listening to this and you're listening to it a different month to what I've recorded it's still got lots of value. So the hemisphere I live in it gets cold and it's been frosty and it was so amazing. Right the other day we had a frost fair in our town and it's like this old fair that we have, where it's all like local, all kinds of things from food to crafts, very crafty fair, and there was ice and snow everywhere Just for that day. I thought that was fantastic. It kind of reminds us to slow down a bit as we come into the end of the year or it might be the beginning of the year or the middle of the year when you listen to this, but today's show is all going to be about learning to say no when it is of absolute value to do so. But then also, if the situations that you can't say no to, how to get through them A lot of people saying about Christmas brings things up, or you might have a family party in the summer, or you might have a works party there might be a number of reasons. Perhaps you have a lovely time at this time of year, but either way, there might be some situations where you don't necessarily enjoy, and how do you get through them? So that was a question, and I've done a specific show themed on that.

Speaker 1: 2:06

Being British and speaking for myself, it's in our nature to always be polite, courteous and think of how it is from the other person's point of view, and that's all good and well. But then sometimes we do it to the detrimental of ourselves, just to make other people feel comfortable. So life is about give and take. There are going to be situations that you just don't want to do, but for whatever reason family commitments you have to do them. There might be situations that you don't want to do and you might feel uncomfortable saying no because you don't want to be kind of disliked for saying no. And then those situations where you really feel within your heart and it's not just you thinking, oh, I don't want to do this because, unfortunately, like, there's lots of things that we don't want to do and we have to do sometimes, but I'm talking about the situations where we intuition every ounce of our being saying I really don't want to say yes, I don't want to go there or I don't want to do this, that and the other. I don't want to be in this party situation or whatever it is, and I invite you to learn to be brave enough to say no when you really mean it. Now a few might say well, my spouse said yes to this and I don't want to go. But on them situations, as long as you make it balance and you take turns of going to different people's places, you just got to kind of grit your teeth and go along with it. And fortunately it is.

Speaker 1: 3:33

Unfortunately or fortunately the holiday seasons or special occasions throughout the year can bring up all kinds of things for us, right? All kinds of things that we don't really want to do. I guess I was trying to think about and I guess it's when you're in a situation where there's people that you've got history with you like, but you've not necessarily got anything in common with them, or you've had a busy year and you just want to relax and kind of not have to worry about kind of chatting and speaking to people, or perhaps you really want to go and chat and speak to people, but then there might be some people there that you don't want to see, so we'll cover that as well. So if it's a situation where you don't want to go, but it's just because you think I don't really fancy that, but it's a family thing, then I'm afraid so nine times out of 10, you're going to have to go. But it's a situation where you're around even friends or family and there's some people there that are mentally going to kind of get to you, then I think you're within your right to say no and don't go.

Speaker 1: 4:33

The trouble is it's having the courage to say no to people, because you know we kind of find that difficult and we don't want to rock the boat, as the saying goes. We want to kind of keep the peace. But sometimes honesty is the best way. If you've got a situation where you still have to go, you feel brave enough to go, but you don't want to speak to that person, put those boundaries up. If they come up to speak to you, maybe you just say hello, but they just put those boundaries up. You're just in a polite, powerful, not in a oh, I feel kind of like I don't want to speak to it, robert, just saying thank you, goodbye, and just speak to someone else and just, and the people that you're going with. Let them know, if you can, that you don't want to be in that situation and let them have your back so that they can help lovingly support you in those difficult situations. And because it is the time of Christmas and speak to this, but again, this can be relevant throughout the year.

Speaker 1: 5:31

There is times where, like you, feel pressurised, like to do things like Secret Santa or presents, and my fear is right. Regardless of what your religious beliefs is right, why would like any god say that you have to get into debt for Christmas to buy presents or whatever, or whatever holiday season it is that you're celebrating to make other people happy and really do not believe that? I have got a few friends, actually, that have been had the courage to just tell the whole family that they're not buying gifts and they don't want gifts back. I even have one friend who just likes to spend the day by herself. It's not because she doesn't like to be around people. She loves people. It's not any of that at all, but I really admire her for having the courage to do that. There's been some years of a Christmas time where I've obliged to buy, like all these gifts and this does not sound like I do sound like a screws. For my friends I can sometimes sound a bit like screwed in a good way. She's a really good friend of mine so she can say that to me.

Speaker 1: 6:37

But there is sometimes, where you is, this pressure to buy gifts. Most of the time, if you explain it's not in a way that's loving, to say, this year I'm not doing gifts, you'll understand. Equally, if you buy a gift and you don't get one back from someone, as the saying goes, given it's not given, it's not all about receiving, but perhaps they just can't afford to get you that gift. So I would say, to help yourself get through this Christmas period or any other period is not to put this pressure on thinking that everything's got to look like movies, because I usually put all these Christmas movies on there. Really nice, but the houses are decked out when extravagant Christmas decorations and they look fantastic. Or if it's a wedding, they've got all these beautiful decorations or a christening or or a birthday party or a leaving do, and then I'll touch briefly on weddings.

Speaker 1: 7:39

But then if someone's getting married, there's a pressure sometimes to feel like you have to buy all these gifts, which of course you want to buy a newly wedded gift, but do one that's in reason for your budget. Do not let people pressurize you into spending more money than what you need. And this isn't coming from a place of black. This is coming in the pace of abundance where actually you see money as flow and stuff like that but that. But you've also got your eye on the short term as well as the long term thinking actually, for my budget this month, I can afford to spend this and this is what I'm going to spend, and even if this other person spends this much, I'm just going to spend this much and that's how I feel comfortable. And then some more further tips on this matter is that perhaps you are struggling to get someone together. I've realised right, people can be, have a really high paid job or a really low paid job, and sometimes it's how well you manage the money and also how many outgoings that you have and the pressure that you have to spend things. So that was what I wanted to touch for on the first part of this podcast and next.

Speaker 1: 8:56

Next for the second part of the podcast is how can you keep your cool? Your kind of like yourself emits all this scurry, because I find at this time of year, everyone's rushing to get everything done and it's as if the world's going to end on like the 24, 25th of December, and there's this immense amount of pressure to keep going, going, going going. You want to get your desk cleared if you're working an office job, or you've got clients books in if you work in some sort of different field, and it's like go, go, go, go, go. Before you know it, you're sitting down. I'm just kind of picking a picture here, so bear with me, dear listeners. You're sitting down on the eve of whatever event. It is absolutely exhausted, frazzles. And then what happens the next day? You see a relative and go oh, you look tired and it is because you are tired. Maybe the scenarios never happen to you, so just bear with me, but if it has, I want to give you some kind of I call them steel cut because you know. So you get steel cut. Oh, they always sound kind of special to me. I don't know if they are or not, but these are steel cut tips on how to survive the holiday season or any other time of year, whether some sort of big events.

Speaker 1: 10:15

Right, lists, list, list, list. So you make a list of the things that you would like to do and then you go through that with a highlighter and you mark off the things that you need to do. So need and like a complete two different things. As you schedule your calendar for the run up to your event, you make sure you schedule in some self care time and however you do that, I would suggest, if you've got a busy household, that you do that externally. So maybe you go to a yoga class and exercise class or you find a quite crafty way. You're not going to bump into anyone you know, and you can sit and read and have a cup of tea Something that will work for you. Maybe you get up early and you do your meditation.

Speaker 1: 11:04

It's so important in this time because what can sometimes happen from my experience is that we can rush, rush, rush around when you get to the event and then your body just goes oh so now I can relax. Oh so now I can have a little bit of self care. Oh, so now I can have a little bit of time with myself and maybe you might stop feeling a bit under the weather or tired. So that's why the bit of self care that you can get into that day is so, so, so important. So get your diaries out, your notebooks, schedule in some self care. It doesn't have to be like hours long if you've got a busy schedule, but please and above all things schedule in some time. So at least have some good meals during the week that are healthy, wholesome, full of vitamins. Make sure you drink water, make sure you get enough sleep. Might not always be achievable, I know, if you've got young children or you're caring for someone, but as much as you possibly can, can you enjoy by yourself, like a nice bubble bath and have a nice relaxing bath. These are all kind of things that you can do within the season. So I'm just showing things.

Speaker 1: 12:12

On a certain point of view, I would be very interested here. What bothers you about the run up to a big event like Christmas, honecker, wedding, birthday, etc. And how do you navigate through them? Because remember, when we share our knowledge, we help other people, and I think wisdom is implied knowledge. So we can all read books and think, oh, this, this and this, but it's when you've applied something and you found it, it's worked for you, that's when I think there's a value for other people. So I'd be very, very interested here about that. So next week we have some fantastic guests lined up on the show and I would love you to listen in and if you like the show, as always, please share. It really helps a lot. But, as always, here is a non-frazzle pre-big event meditation to help you find yourself.

Speaker 1: 13:08

As promised, here is your meditation, inspired by today's show. Top tips for the meditation is either sit nice and cross-legged on the floor with a nice, straight back always nice to sit on a block or a cushion, or that's not available for you you sit in a chair with the back nice and straight. The important thing is you're not slouching and if you're doing something that requires you concentration, all you need to do is just pause this and you can reconvene the meditation at a time that is good for you. If you're doing the meditation, let's begin. So as you close your eyes and you breathe, imagine the breath is the most precious substance there is. So as you inhale, it feels like the elixir of life, and as you exhale, it feels as if you let go of anything that doesn't serve you. But it let goes without a fight. And as you inhale, you expand. As you exhale, you let go. You feel as if you suddenly tapped into your natural flow.

Speaker 1: 14:17

All the things that you have to do can wait for these few minutes as we dive deep into our own self care. What is self care, but moments of peace? So, as you breathe in and out through your nostrils with ease, try to use the whole of the lung capacity, but try not to force. Try to be gentle and kind to yourself, slow and kind, deep and even, and just think every moment. I'm observing my breath. I'm observing my breath, I'm observing my inhalation, I'm observing my exhalation and this natural rhythm flow like the ocean upon the beach, with inhalation, exhalation and this beautiful rhythm, and just continue for a few moments like this. So slowly come back into the moment, come back into the room, knowing that you can always reach for these moments of self care and they're always available to you. Thank you.