Ep 56: Simchat Torah, Essential Letters, and Why ALL of Our Life Curricula is Needed
Sep 30, 2021Episode 56
April Baskin and Tracie Guy-Decker
In this week’s episode Tracie and April discuss some of the traditions related to the holiday of Simchat Torah (lit. “Joy of Torah”). The symbolism of the holiday--appreciating the totality of the Torah and starting the cycle anew--illuminates for ways we can do the same with our own life and racial justice curricula.
In this week’s episode Tracie and April discuss some of the traditions related to the holiday of Simchat Torah (lit. “Joy of Torah”). The symbolism of the holiday--appreciating the totality of the Torah and starting the cycle anew--illuminates for ways we can do the same with our own life and racial justice curricula.
- [Tracie] The holiday of Simchat Torah, literally Joy of Torah has a lot to teach us about the ongoing nature and beauty of our work.- [April] This is"Jews Talk Racial Justice with April & Tracie."- [Tracie] A weekly show hosted by April Baskin, and Tracie Guy Decker.- [April] In a complex world, change takes courage.- [Tracie] Wholehearted relationships can keep us accountable.- I never attended Simchat Torah anything growing up. We were very much high holiday Jews when I was growing up.- No?- It's so much fun!- So much fun so much fun.- Candy.- (laughs) Well, we don't actually do candy at my home shul, but what we do is we unroll the scroll, multiple scrolls, 'cause we own several, and then-- You know, no biggie.- It's a really big shul.(both laughing) It's kind of a behemoth, which definitely is a double-edged sword. Anyway, so they unroll a number of scrolls, and then we all stand around the outside of the large sanctuary and like hold up the scrolls so that they circle the sanctuary, which I know is not unique to us. What's special is just like how many of them we have. And just this symbolism of the manifold symbolism of that. Of us holding the Torah, us as a congregation, holding it up while also acknowledging the circular nature of it. And it encircling us in a sense, or encircling our space.- Oh sister, you're getting into symbolism that starts to turn on my intellectual stimulation.- It just, the first time I actually attended one, I had read about it and I was like,"Oh, that's nice." (laughs) And then I attended one. And I mean, it's like just chills, like with where not only are we supporting the Torah, but it is hugging us. I don't know, there's something really, really special about that. But in particular, what I wanted to bring up, for our work together in the symbolism of Simchat Torah is the way in which we are celebrating a completion by immediately starting it again. Like we do not let a week go by between the end of Deuteronomy and restarting at the front of Genesis. And that also is joyful. And there's something in that that I just find really resonant and instructive. And I don't know, generative in thinking about the work that we do together, that we just realized is Simchat Tzedek.- The translation of that being essentially the joy of justice.(Both laughing)- I don't know, it's hitting me this year in different ways.- But as you were talking, I was also thinking about, and I don't know exactly where this is going, but I love symbolism and meaning and metaphor of. We finish, we complete, and it's like this huge completed scroll. So I love this idea of embracing and hugging and all of that means, you know, encircling as you were describing it, but also what does it mean to reach, which is building on literally what you just said. But like to reach a moment of completion and then to completely unroll all of it? Wide open, like wide open. Not just like a turning, which would make sense in a lot of ways. Like we do weekly as we're moving the scrolls to get to the next Torah portion. But nah why do that when we can do this cumbersome process of involving multiple people who we may or may not trust with the sacred thing. But there's actually a lot of meaning in this right, just, like potential meanings. Right? And then unrolling it all, which is so counter to everything about today, at least, where it's all about forward, forward, forward, forward, forward, for the most part. Like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember history it's important," but yet forward, forward, forward, forward, and then some more forward, don't look in the past, no need for regrets. That's just like this forward push in terms of thinking about like the theme that we talked about around life curriculum, or as well as like in our racial justice work. What's the parallel of opening it all up in front of multiple people? And lots of us know, okay, there's like, sacred Torah. It is very important in our tradition and particularly, well and I think in the many spaces, not every part of the Torah is something people are comfortable with, have uncomplicated feelings about. Is what I like about this, is the way that this tradition aligns, as I understand it from my understanding and Minhag around Jewish custom and tradition of simultaneously, week by week, engaging with the text of the Torah and having any range of feelings about it. But engaging honestly and authentically, but still at year's end, celebrating that relationship, seeing the collective good of the whole.- So I learned sometime in the past, like since COVID, maybe it was when he died, Rabbi Jonathan Sacks passed away since COVID. And I learned that he has a thing about thinking about each person's, how essential each individual is. And he related it to the scroll how every single letter. If a single letter is obscured, then the whole scroll is considered pasul, it is not kosher.- Right.- It no longer can fulfill its duty. And in that same way that I might feel myself to be just a little, yod, just a little, which is the letter that makes the Y sound. And it's just this tiny-- You aint a little yod Tracie, but we'll go with it.- Thank you. I might perceive myself to be just a little, yod which is just like a small mark, almost like an apostrophe.- Tiny letter.- But I am still essential. Like the text is not, it is not usable if I'm not there. Even if I feel myself to be only a little yod and I feel you to be like a giant bet with crowns on you. Like we are both as essential because if either one is missing, then the text, the whole scroll is considered pasul. And when I think about that and as you talked about, like we stretched it all out, right? We're looking at all of those letters, all of those essential letters.- All of them.- From the year and each one is essential. And as you say, there are some texts that require a lot more work to find the meaning in than others, but they're all essential just as every letter is essential, just as all of us are essential. Whether we perceive ourselves to be a yod or the bet from the very beginning with all of the crowns on us. And the other thing that just to like pull that around again, that metaphor, I just also read, I read, I think I mentioned already, I read Alan Lew's"This Is Real And You Are Completely Unprepared". And he pointed out that when we do that move from the end of Deuteronomy to the beginning of Genesis, the last letter of Deuteronomy is a "lamed," the L sound, and the first letter of Genesis is "bet," and together that is lev, which means heart. And so like when we pull them, when we pull all of that together, the text gives us heart when we do wrap it around in a circle. And I don't know, those things together, like the importance of the letters and seeing them all and the way they line up in different ways from the song of the sea, to the song of Moses, to the normal, the more standard single column. And to see it all at once and have it encircle us and have us lift it up.- I want to go for something more agitational here, what I think is more agitational. First of all, the lev was beautiful. Here's my thoughts. So you brought it back to how each of us is essential, but what I want to say, and I think that most people could at least in theory, go with that. What I'm starting to build towards in the context of our work with Jewish folks, often, though not exclusively, white Jewish folks. But what's more agitational that I want to chew on right now, is this idea what if each lesson, like, what if each lesson is essential? Like actually honoring, there's a way in which, and both of these I think are actually interrelated are the ways that people in general struggle with their worthiness for a variety of reasons. Often related to oppression, not exclusively, but oppression the way it shows up in families, trauma, different things. But to me that struggle with worthiness also certainly shows up in one's actions and or a conflation of the relationship between those things and wanting to release what's been learned. Essentially what I'm saying, and I think I said it sufficiently, but just to be clear is at one point you were saying, the essential that each of us is essential in terms of all the letters. And actually in the context of us striving for justice and us striving to embody, and manifest within ourselves and our actions, our highest ideals, what does it mean if we began to not say that we'd like or love all of the actions that we've taken, But we take full radical accountability, responsibility and witnessing of those things and embrace it and say it is all holy for the sake of heaven, for the sake of justice, for advancing justice. And I'm going to take time to unravel these things, and even though I might be trembling or struggling at times, what does it mean to consider that on this learning journey of us continually navigating, struggling, succeeding, fumbling through our life curriculum, as we talked about it last week, based upon Jewish educators insights? I just love this idea of like, what if we began to see all of these experiences as essential learnings or lessons and embrace it and be open about it? Just like what that idea means and what that would imply. Certainly it kind of can get a little, there's the just like the basic element of it that can be challenging for some. For me, as a woman of color, there's a part of that that I'm like, "Ooh, does that mean, I am saying it's okay when certain people are hurt?" And it's not that, it's like the higher altitude. I'm not excusing it in the moment, but also at the end of the day, we all to a certain extent have the curriculum that we have, and there are lessons that we need to learn. And I think what I'm just trying to get at is, I think that there's an elevated spiritual way of operating in deciding to have a profoundly deep commitment to advancing justice and to having enough self love and respect to say,"I might fumble, I might be an idiot," internally, not publicly or with other people. But to internally say,"this is my sacred journey and I am doing the best that I can on most days. And even on the days when I falter, I was still usually doing my best. And I'm going to elevate all of that, even as I'm learning. And even as I'm saying, 'I don't want to repeat that thing, this next cycle around,'" but I just like these themes, I think it's interesting.- That really resonates the idea that, not that it's okay, but that even the mistakes helped make us who we are.- Right. But it's more about this idea of having this practice of Simchat Torah, of lifting it all up of what does it mean to fully own our tra- Like, as I lean into this idea and this thinking and the thoughts that go along with it, from a healthy perspective, not from arrogance, but from humility and honesty and profound commitment, to me it facilitates an openness in individual behavior and interpersonal and communal culture around having more courage to talk about things when we're owning them. And that actually some of these things won't repeat if they show up in the light of day, if they're not relegated. Like as if in people's actions, it's like one, we don't have an opportunity to unroll our own behavior lessons or lessons Torah scroll in the same way. But often when we do there's blacked out patches, there's shame moments, there's things, right. And those things that remain in the realm of shame or silence, and we don't do that with the torah. We're not like, "Oh, we're gonna cover up this part and this part and this." There is so much. Right? So, and when you look it at that 30,000 foot level, you're able to have perspective and hold and honor it all as a whole.- It's reminding me of, you and I were in a space together and our colleague Yoshi Silverstein talked about Kaddish, and Kaddish like, the mourners Kaddish having originally come from the Kaddish d'rabbanan which is the Kaddish that traditionally was said when, like a really amazing interpretation of Torah was given, a D'var Torah was given. And so, and then it became through. I actually looked it up because I was really fascinated by this. It's a long story with Rabbi Akiva that I'm not gonna go into, but look it up If you're interested, it's really interesting. It became what we said after someone died and then on their Yahrzeit. And it's really significant too. We remember those who've gone before us on the anniversary. The Yahrzeit is the anniversary of their death, not their birth. Because at their birth, they have not yet brought their Torah into the world, because the Kaddish ultimately is celebrating Torah. And so at the end of their life, all of their Torah and that's all of it, right? Like the mistakes too.- Oh this is a great tie in. (laughs) Nice.- All of it has been actualized. It's not just potential anymore. It's been actualized and brought into the world. And so that's why we say Kaddish, which was originally about Torah. And that why we honor Yahrzeit on the death anniversary and not on the birth anniversary. And I dunno, there's something about what you're talking about right now, about how we can learn from Simchat Torah, we can learn from like lifting up the whole scroll and then the connection with what was Yoshi's insight for me about Kaddish. It just feels really all related.- Basically. Perfect.- Thanks Yoshi!- I love that. I love that. Something very deep here about what we're talking about, and it fits with other themes that I'm really becoming more intimate with in my own spiritual practice. And I won't get into it into this in this episode, but I just think what we're discussing and what you just shared is a very profound statement that could be a whole episode in and of it itself. And I just think a lot of times people really struggle with their life curriculum and feel very alone. Even though for the most part or nearly always we're all interconnected, nothing is new under the sun. And this kind of ties into some things I'm thinking about and really spending a lot of time with in the shmita year. Around what that means, right. Because what came to mind to me, Tracie, is that statement what Yoshi said, what you're saying. And I think it actually is true on some level. And what does that mean to say that even if someone was a Shlamoodle much of their life and brought much misery, that statement still applies to that person. And I actually do believe that. And part of what I'm spending a lot of time with is the interplay. The fruitful interplay between our day to day lives and all the specificity of that and all the joy and the challenge and the occasional or not so occasional shame folks feel. And then there's our life curriculum which to me is kind of the through line. And then there's, in my perspective, that I'm sure it's, it's tied to a number of different faith traditions, and I'm sure our own, but I'm just going to speak from it, from my own voice at the moment. Like broader life lessons and themes and dynamics that play out at a higher altitude that are less personal or specific, or like as I'm going through certain circumstances. Like I had a very painful thing happened to me this summer in a relationship. And ultimately after taking a few weeks to process the hurt and anger, one of the things that ultimately brought me peace was a very real higher altitude perspective of, "I think this has also served a different purpose in a different way beyond this specific interaction." And that doesn't change my desire for accountability with this person. And I can still hold that someone may have let me down in this moment, but I also can notice in a broader sense that whether or not they weren't thinking of that, but that the exchange we had helped to bring to light a number of broader themes for this moment in my life right now, in terms of what direction I'm going in, in terms of thinking about my strategic efforts and work. And I'm not someone who makes says that the hurt then justifies those lessons that came, but I can also acknowledge and not throw away some key insights and ultimately gifts or support that, or purposefulness, whatever the case may be in a specific moment that is also arising from that. And to me this anecdote or lesson or insight that you shared about the Kaddish, aligns with that, to me, in some way. Of some sort of peacefulness in terms of the totality and in saying this person or this thing served the purpose that it meant to serve. And there is something holy about this, even if I don't like that person or whatever the incident was brought me much pain. There's a lot there. And I think this year as we are savoring an observance of Simchat Torah or recalling ones from years past or into the future, I just, I am excited to continue to chew on these ideas. I think there's more insight or some pithy piece, but it's new and fresh and working with these other current learnings I have. It's on the edge of my learning and becoming, and so it's not solidified, but I just think it's really rich and complex and beautiful. Thank you so much for helping to facilitate this ongoing intellectual, spiritual evolution, Tracie.- Well, thanks for letting me talk about it. I love thinking about this stuff and how it relates to our work. It gives me life. So thank you.- Me too. All right. Well, I love you. And l'chaim, wishing everyone a sweet new go around of Torah study, of work with our life curriculum and our collective work together around the different ways that we work communally and institutionally and organizationally in groups, to advance this work. And notice that it's cyclical, it's a spiral, we're going to make progress. And the things that we skip over now, they're gonna come back. That Torah passage, it's just that issue, you might've dealt with one person, one way, those patterns and those issues that are tough for you often, it's more about our curriculum. And so if anything else, I think if nothing else, I think this episode is an invitation to decide that some of our gnarliest, most difficult, icky things that we're being faced with, that not that we always have to work on it in the moment of urgency, but it's not going away and it's gonna manifest somewhere else. Because our life curriculum, like the Torah is cyclical. And luckily we don't have to do it alone. So l'chaim, best of luck. Hope you had a beautiful Simchat Torah and a beautiful Rosh Hashana and high holiday season. And we're so excited to continue on this journey with you.- Thanks for tuning in. Our show's theme music was composed by Elliot Hammer. You can find this track and other beats on Instagram@ElliotHammer. If this episode resonated with you, please share it and subscribe. To join the conversation, visit jewstalkracialjustice.com, where you can send us a question or suggestion, access our show notes and learn more about our team. Take care until next time and stay humble and keep going.