{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":2.747,"endTime":7.602,"body":"And hello to you, and welcome to the"},{"startTime":2.747,"endTime":7.602,"body":"Richard Nicholls podcast, the personal"},{"startTime":7.602,"endTime":12.102,"body":"development podcast series that's"},{"startTime":7.602,"endTime":12.102,"body":"here to help inspire, educate, and"},{"startTime":12.102,"endTime":14.257,"body":"motivate you to be  the best you can"},{"startTime":14.693,"endTime":15.233,"body":"be."},{"startTime":16.993,"endTime":22.903,"body":"I'm psychotherapist Richard Nicholls,"},{"startTime":16.993,"endTime":22.903,"body":"and this episode is all about kindness."},{"startTime":24.046,"endTime":28.276,"body":"And if you're ready, we'll start the show."},{"startTime":30.706,"endTime":32.686,"body":"Happy November, everybody!"},{"startTime":32.876,"endTime":34.506,"body":"How was your Halloween?"},{"startTime":34.796,"endTime":38.546,"body":"Hopefully you had enough treats"},{"startTime":34.796,"endTime":38.546,"body":"for any costumed visitors"},{"startTime":38.736,"endTime":40.306,"body":"and nobody egged your house."},{"startTime":40.716,"endTime":47.246,"body":"If so, it may be some consolation"},{"startTime":40.716,"endTime":47.246,"body":"that World Kindness Day is just"},{"startTime":47.246,"endTime":49.856,"body":"around the corner on Monday the 13th."},{"startTime":49.926,"endTime":54.541,"body":"So, hopefully that'll lead"},{"startTime":49.926,"endTime":54.541,"body":"to some nicer experiences."},{"startTime":54.551,"endTime":58.791,"body":"Hopefully nobody changes lanes in"},{"startTime":54.551,"endTime":58.791,"body":"front of you without signalling and"},{"startTime":58.791,"endTime":60.291,"body":"then sticks their fingers up at you."},{"startTime":60.661,"endTime":65.521,"body":"No one lets a door slam in your face when"},{"startTime":60.661,"endTime":65.521,"body":"you're carrying multiple bags of shopping."},{"startTime":65.821,"endTime":69.761,"body":"And everyone's got a smile"},{"startTime":65.821,"endTime":69.761,"body":"on their face just for a day."},{"startTime":70.431,"endTime":73.351,"body":"Sounds like living in an episode"},{"startTime":70.431,"endTime":73.351,"body":"of Postman Pat, doesn't it?"},{"startTime":73.511,"endTime":74.451,"body":"Sounds lovely."},{"startTime":74.861,"endTime":79.561,"body":"But I think if you went into the"},{"startTime":74.861,"endTime":79.561,"body":"day expecting that you're likely"},{"startTime":79.561,"endTime":81.631,"body":"to have been a bit disappointed."},{"startTime":82.021,"endTime":86.581,"body":"I don't think it's pessimistic to"},{"startTime":82.021,"endTime":86.581,"body":"lower our expectations a little bit."},{"startTime":86.981,"endTime":89.911,"body":"And it is a shame that we need"},{"startTime":86.981,"endTime":89.911,"body":"an International Awareness Day"},{"startTime":89.911,"endTime":94.281,"body":"that basically just says, don't"},{"startTime":89.911,"endTime":94.281,"body":"be a dick, just for a day."},{"startTime":95.551,"endTime":98.801,"body":"Because, I mean, that should be"},{"startTime":95.551,"endTime":98.801,"body":"everybody's attitude anyway, shouldn't it?"},{"startTime":98.801,"endTime":101.031,"body":"It should be everybody's family motto!"},{"startTime":101.991,"endTime":105.341,"body":"Noli Esse  dickhead."},{"startTime":105.341,"endTime":108.201,"body":"I'd like to think it goes without saying."},{"startTime":108.961,"endTime":114.986,"body":"But I don't think that being kind"},{"startTime":108.961,"endTime":114.986,"body":"is always the right answer when it"},{"startTime":114.986,"endTime":116.506,"body":"comes to boosting mental health."},{"startTime":116.856,"endTime":122.196,"body":"Now, we are a social species, so yes, it"},{"startTime":116.856,"endTime":122.196,"body":"is true, doing things that are for the"},{"startTime":122.196,"endTime":124.736,"body":"good of the group is also good for us."},{"startTime":124.736,"endTime":127.816,"body":"There's stacks of"},{"startTime":124.736,"endTime":127.816,"body":"research to back that up."},{"startTime":128.096,"endTime":132.196,"body":"Feel free to read my book, for lots"},{"startTime":128.096,"endTime":132.196,"body":"of examples, 15 Minutes to Happiness."},{"startTime":132.236,"endTime":134.306,"body":"Available in all good bookshops, folks."},{"startTime":134.716,"endTime":140.796,"body":"But doing things for others only"},{"startTime":134.716,"endTime":140.796,"body":"helps if it doesn't harm us first."},{"startTime":140.996,"endTime":145.196,"body":"Saying yes to others is great,"},{"startTime":140.996,"endTime":145.196,"body":"if you're also saying yes to"},{"startTime":145.196,"endTime":147.476,"body":"yourself at the same time."},{"startTime":147.796,"endTime":152.366,"body":"So, if you can afford it, sure,"},{"startTime":147.796,"endTime":152.366,"body":"add some sanitary pads and soup"},{"startTime":152.366,"endTime":154.246,"body":"to the food bank collection box."},{"startTime":154.856,"endTime":158.196,"body":"But don't do it if you can't really"},{"startTime":154.856,"endTime":158.196,"body":"afford it, and you're only doing it"},{"startTime":158.196,"endTime":159.816,"body":"to try and boost your mental health."},{"startTime":159.826,"endTime":161.456,"body":"Keep the soup for yourself."},{"startTime":161.656,"endTime":168.021,"body":"Be kind to you too, because the last"},{"startTime":161.656,"endTime":168.021,"body":"thing you want is to resent someone else"},{"startTime":168.061,"endTime":169.781,"body":"because you've been taken advantage of."},{"startTime":170.671,"endTime":174.531,"body":"Now, it's not overly selfish"},{"startTime":170.671,"endTime":174.531,"body":"to look after yourself."},{"startTime":174.781,"endTime":179.531,"body":"It might be so called selfish to"},{"startTime":174.781,"endTime":179.531,"body":"put you first, but like you've"},{"startTime":180.381,"endTime":184.251,"body":"surely heard me say many thousands"},{"startTime":180.381,"endTime":184.251,"body":"of times before, that's okay."},{"startTime":185.231,"endTime":191.341,"body":"You can be kind and selfish, and that"},{"startTime":185.231,"endTime":191.341,"body":"might mean simply doing very small things."},{"startTime":191.631,"endTime":195.111,"body":"Maybe sending a text message to"},{"startTime":191.631,"endTime":195.111,"body":"somebody you've not spoken to for a"},{"startTime":195.111,"endTime":197.161,"body":"little while, but a meaningful one."},{"startTime":197.946,"endTime":204.066,"body":"Not just forwarding on a joke,"},{"startTime":197.946,"endTime":204.066,"body":"actually saying, Alright, I hope you're"},{"startTime":204.066,"endTime":205.606,"body":"well, I haven't seen you for ages."},{"startTime":205.876,"endTime":209.546,"body":"Let me know if you're free one weekend"},{"startTime":205.876,"endTime":209.546,"body":"for a quick coffee or something."},{"startTime":209.736,"endTime":211.336,"body":"Or whatever works for you."},{"startTime":211.836,"endTime":215.036,"body":"Reaching out to someone"},{"startTime":211.836,"endTime":215.036,"body":"is a kind thing to do."},{"startTime":215.436,"endTime":220.106,"body":"It helps them to feel that they've got"},{"startTime":215.436,"endTime":220.106,"body":"some significance in somebody's life."},{"startTime":220.146,"endTime":223.946,"body":"And of course that is going to"},{"startTime":220.146,"endTime":223.946,"body":"have a positive effect on us, too."},{"startTime":224.226,"endTime":224.956,"body":"Hopefully."},{"startTime":225.376,"endTime":228.991,"body":"'Cos I doubt you're gonna text"},{"startTime":225.376,"endTime":228.991,"body":"somebody who's gonna reply"},{"startTime":229.021,"endTime":230.741,"body":"with, Get lost, you idiot!"},{"startTime":231.191,"endTime":233.591,"body":"It's gonna be to a"},{"startTime":231.191,"endTime":233.591,"body":"genuine friend, isn't it?"},{"startTime":233.651,"endTime":236.501,"body":"Well, maybe then you can have a"},{"startTime":233.651,"endTime":236.501,"body":"chat with them for 10 minutes on"},{"startTime":236.501,"endTime":240.901,"body":"the phone or something, whilst you"},{"startTime":236.501,"endTime":240.901,"body":"walk the dog or wash up or whatever."},{"startTime":240.911,"endTime":244.906,"body":"You don't have to go round their"},{"startTime":240.911,"endTime":244.906,"body":"house and help them decorate in"},{"startTime":244.906,"endTime":247.506,"body":"order to be kind to somebody?"},{"startTime":247.906,"endTime":254.566,"body":"Just simply acknowledging that they"},{"startTime":247.906,"endTime":254.566,"body":"exist might well be plenty good enough."},{"startTime":255.796,"endTime":261.366,"body":"One of the things that I'm aware of,"},{"startTime":255.796,"endTime":261.366,"body":"though, are the deeply passive aggressive"},{"startTime":261.366,"endTime":265.976,"body":"people that would really struggle"},{"startTime":261.366,"endTime":265.976,"body":"with the idea of World Kindness Day."},{"startTime":266.316,"endTime":271.606,"body":"People, in fact, so passive aggressive,"},{"startTime":266.316,"endTime":271.606,"body":"you might never actually see their"},{"startTime":271.606,"endTime":275.736,"body":"aggression, because it's on the"},{"startTime":271.606,"endTime":275.736,"body":"inside, and it's deep, and it's hidden."},{"startTime":276.326,"endTime":280.386,"body":"It is rare, but it is certainly"},{"startTime":276.326,"endTime":280.386,"body":"a personality trait that exists."},{"startTime":281.016,"endTime":283.676,"body":"They say yes to everything."},{"startTime":284.406,"endTime":287.566,"body":"But then find it really hard to"},{"startTime":284.406,"endTime":287.566,"body":"actually follow things through."},{"startTime":287.566,"endTime":291.126,"body":"So they'll agree to meet for"},{"startTime":287.566,"endTime":291.126,"body":"a coffee, but they'll forget."},{"startTime":291.416,"endTime":294.706,"body":"They'll take on extra work projects,"},{"startTime":291.416,"endTime":294.706,"body":"but they'll miss deadlines,"},{"startTime":294.706,"endTime":296.586,"body":"or they'll lose paperwork."},{"startTime":297.186,"endTime":301.156,"body":"They might not say it, but"},{"startTime":297.186,"endTime":301.156,"body":"they are absolutely chock"},{"startTime":301.156,"endTime":303.756,"body":"full of resentment and anger."},{"startTime":304.176,"endTime":308.801,"body":"And if that's you, and you want to boost"},{"startTime":304.176,"endTime":308.801,"body":"your mood, The last thing you should"},{"startTime":308.801,"endTime":311.231,"body":"be doing is stuff for other people."},{"startTime":311.531,"endTime":314.661,"body":"You need to improve your self"},{"startTime":311.531,"endTime":314.661,"body":"esteem and feelings of control"},{"startTime":314.661,"endTime":316.271,"body":"over your life primarily."},{"startTime":316.581,"endTime":321.641,"body":"So, sure, I am more than happy"},{"startTime":316.581,"endTime":321.641,"body":"to embrace World Kindness Day."},{"startTime":321.691,"endTime":327.051,"body":"Being kind is absolutely something that's"},{"startTime":321.691,"endTime":327.051,"body":"going to make the world a better place."},{"startTime":327.771,"endTime":329.671,"body":"But you need to do it your way."},{"startTime":330.686,"endTime":334.866,"body":"There was a recent study into the"},{"startTime":330.686,"endTime":334.866,"body":"benefits of being given money to"},{"startTime":334.866,"endTime":338.356,"body":"see how significant an impact it"},{"startTime":334.866,"endTime":338.356,"body":"has over a three month period."},{"startTime":338.596,"endTime":342.416,"body":"It was called Wealth"},{"startTime":338.596,"endTime":342.416,"body":"Redistribution Promotes Happiness."},{"startTime":342.446,"endTime":343.646,"body":"That was the name of the study."},{"startTime":343.876,"endTime":347.006,"body":"Liz Dunn from the University"},{"startTime":343.876,"endTime":347.006,"body":"of British Columbia oversaw it."},{"startTime":347.106,"endTime":347.796,"body":"Hello, Liz!"},{"startTime":348.016,"endTime":348.736,"body":"If you're listening."},{"startTime":349.726,"endTime":352.926,"body":"She doesn't listen, but she does"},{"startTime":349.726,"endTime":352.926,"body":"follow me on Twitter, so hello, Liz."},{"startTime":353.131,"endTime":357.291,"body":"Anyway, somebody donated two"},{"startTime":353.131,"endTime":357.291,"body":"million dollars to the study, and"},{"startTime":357.291,"endTime":359.051,"body":"it was split amongst 200 people."},{"startTime":359.171,"endTime":365.841,"body":"So they each got ten grand, and everyone"},{"startTime":359.171,"endTime":365.841,"body":"was told that they'd got three months to"},{"startTime":365.841,"endTime":371.711,"body":"spend it all in a sort of mini version"},{"startTime":365.841,"endTime":371.711,"body":"of Brewster's Millions kind of way,"},{"startTime":371.911,"endTime":374.221,"body":"and they were all surveyed throughout."},{"startTime":374.661,"endTime":379.041,"body":"And, not surprisingly, after"},{"startTime":374.661,"endTime":379.041,"body":"being given ten thousand dollars,"},{"startTime":379.291,"endTime":380.781,"body":"their well being went up."},{"startTime":381.871,"endTime":385.376,"body":"But it was still higher after six"},{"startTime":381.871,"endTime":385.376,"body":"months, even though they had to"},{"startTime":385.376,"endTime":389.316,"body":"spend it all in three, and it was"},{"startTime":385.376,"endTime":389.316,"body":"significantly higher for somebody"},{"startTime":389.396,"endTime":392.116,"body":"whose household annual income was low."},{"startTime":392.536,"endTime":397.856,"body":"But even in the instances where their"},{"startTime":392.536,"endTime":397.856,"body":"household income was over a hundred K,"},{"startTime":398.246,"endTime":400.116,"body":"they still had a bit of a mood boost."},{"startTime":400.356,"endTime":405.606,"body":"So, being given a treat, makes us"},{"startTime":400.356,"endTime":405.606,"body":"happier, especially when it's ten"},{"startTime":405.606,"endTime":408.466,"body":"grand, and I don't think that's"},{"startTime":405.606,"endTime":408.466,"body":"going to be a surprise to anybody."},{"startTime":409.166,"endTime":413.436,"body":"Although having that every year probably"},{"startTime":409.166,"endTime":413.436,"body":"wouldn't have the same influence, and"},{"startTime":413.506,"endTime":417.426,"body":"I won't bore you with the numbers,"},{"startTime":413.506,"endTime":417.426,"body":"but when you compare the increase"},{"startTime":417.426,"endTime":421.726,"body":"in happiness for those receiving it"},{"startTime":417.426,"endTime":421.726,"body":"compared to the difference we see in"},{"startTime":421.746,"endTime":426.066,"body":"people who have got, like, a spare"},{"startTime":421.746,"endTime":426.066,"body":"ten million quid in the bank, compared"},{"startTime":426.066,"endTime":431.126,"body":"to having eight million quid, it's"},{"startTime":426.066,"endTime":431.126,"body":"a significantly different approach."},{"startTime":431.136,"endTime":434.771,"body":"Having ten million quid spare isn't"},{"startTime":431.136,"endTime":434.771,"body":"really any different to having"},{"startTime":434.771,"endTime":437.331,"body":"six million or even five million."},{"startTime":438.111,"endTime":444.091,"body":"But redistributing it to others"},{"startTime":438.111,"endTime":444.091,"body":"makes a really big difference."},{"startTime":444.401,"endTime":449.876,"body":"So from a social psychology perspective,"},{"startTime":444.401,"endTime":449.876,"body":"it is a good idea that as a group, we"},{"startTime":449.876,"endTime":455.086,"body":"don't have the extremes of unnecessarily"},{"startTime":449.876,"endTime":455.086,"body":"rich and unnecessarily poor."},{"startTime":455.886,"endTime":459.736,"body":"And if it wasn't for the donors of that"},{"startTime":455.886,"endTime":459.736,"body":"two million quid being anonymous, it'd be"},{"startTime":459.736,"endTime":464.656,"body":"really interesting to see how their mood"},{"startTime":459.736,"endTime":464.656,"body":"was influenced by knowing that they'd had"},{"startTime":464.656,"endTime":466.96,"body":"such a positive influence on those people."},{"startTime":467.307,"endTime":472.101,"body":"But hey, But whatever good it might"},{"startTime":467.307,"endTime":472.101,"body":"have done those wealthy donors, we're"},{"startTime":472.101,"endTime":474.721,"body":"assuming here that they could afford it."},{"startTime":474.811,"endTime":477.331,"body":"It's unlikely that they'd"},{"startTime":474.811,"endTime":477.331,"body":"have resented doing it."},{"startTime":477.771,"endTime":482.581,"body":"And if you bring those numbers down"},{"startTime":477.771,"endTime":482.581,"body":"to an everyday life level, then rather"},{"startTime":482.581,"endTime":487.986,"body":"than having two million quid spare, the"},{"startTime":482.581,"endTime":487.986,"body":"average Joe might have, let's say, It's"},{"startTime":487.986,"endTime":493.746,"body":"a lot of money, but they might have 200"},{"startTime":487.986,"endTime":493.746,"body":"pounds, dollars, whatever, there's not"},{"startTime":493.746,"endTime":495.086,"body":"much of a difference nowadays, is there?"},{"startTime":495.286,"endTime":495.906,"body":"Spare."},{"startTime":496.326,"endTime":500.986,"body":"Then of course, if you can afford"},{"startTime":496.326,"endTime":500.986,"body":"to help others, then do so."},{"startTime":501.676,"endTime":506.676,"body":"But if you have to choose between"},{"startTime":501.676,"endTime":506.676,"body":"helping others and helping yourself, if"},{"startTime":506.676,"endTime":512.586,"body":"there genuinely is no choice, then of"},{"startTime":506.676,"endTime":512.586,"body":"course we need to look after ourselves."},{"startTime":512.806,"endTime":516.456,"body":"We're not toddlers sharing our"},{"startTime":512.806,"endTime":516.456,"body":"sweets without a care in the"},{"startTime":516.456,"endTime":518.291,"body":"world, and on the whole, they do."},{"startTime":519.401,"endTime":523.001,"body":"If you give a two year old some little"},{"startTime":519.401,"endTime":523.001,"body":"snacks, they're immediately happier."},{"startTime":523.171,"endTime":524.361,"body":"You can see it."},{"startTime":524.991,"endTime":528.291,"body":"But when you ask them if they'd"},{"startTime":524.991,"endTime":528.291,"body":"like to share those snacks, they"},{"startTime":528.331,"endTime":533.951,"body":"overwhelmingly say yes, and those"},{"startTime":528.331,"endTime":533.951,"body":"that do are clearly happier than"},{"startTime":533.951,"endTime":535.501,"body":"they were before they started."},{"startTime":536.011,"endTime":539.321,"body":"So, along with a couple of other"},{"startTime":536.011,"endTime":539.321,"body":"experiments, it showed that"},{"startTime":539.341,"endTime":542.301,"body":"we are born kind, it seems."},{"startTime":542.301,"endTime":547.531,"body":"We have to grow out of it if we're"},{"startTime":542.301,"endTime":547.531,"body":"going to become unhelpfully selfish."},{"startTime":548.311,"endTime":551.411,"body":"But more importantly, when it"},{"startTime":548.311,"endTime":551.411,"body":"comes to kindness, if you're"},{"startTime":551.451,"endTime":556.041,"body":"going to be doing something that's"},{"startTime":551.451,"endTime":556.041,"body":"financial, what's important is your"},{"startTime":556.081,"endTime":559.769,"body":"understanding of where your money goes."},{"startTime":560.031,"endTime":562.651,"body":"Because this is completely"},{"startTime":560.031,"endTime":562.651,"body":"overlooked, I find."},{"startTime":563.261,"endTime":567.961,"body":"If you don't know where your donation"},{"startTime":563.261,"endTime":567.961,"body":"goes and how the money would be used, then"},{"startTime":568.041,"endTime":570.971,"body":"actually, the influence is negligible."},{"startTime":571.201,"endTime":573.981,"body":"You probably shouldn't bother if you're"},{"startTime":571.201,"endTime":573.981,"body":"trying to improve your mental health"},{"startTime":574.001,"endTime":580.286,"body":"by sharing it, but when you know that"},{"startTime":574.001,"endTime":580.286,"body":"you're say fiver, is going to a family"},{"startTime":580.286,"endTime":582.806,"body":"in Uganda to protect them from malaria."},{"startTime":583.106,"endTime":588.466,"body":"And not just some random organisation"},{"startTime":583.106,"endTime":588.466,"body":"with multiple charity projects that may"},{"startTime":588.466,"endTime":593.846,"body":"just as well be needing help to fund their"},{"startTime":588.466,"endTime":593.846,"body":"office staff coffee tin, I don't know."},{"startTime":594.426,"endTime":598.426,"body":"Your positive influence on your"},{"startTime":594.426,"endTime":598.426,"body":"mood is close to worthless."},{"startTime":598.756,"endTime":600.466,"body":"And that has been studied quite a bit."},{"startTime":600.726,"endTime":604.326,"body":"There was a massive study into the"},{"startTime":600.726,"endTime":604.326,"body":"difference between people who donated"},{"startTime":604.416,"endTime":611.246,"body":"to UNICEF, big organisation, and"},{"startTime":604.416,"endTime":611.246,"body":"people who donated to a small malaria"},{"startTime":611.246,"endTime":613.626,"body":"prevention charity called Spread the Net."},{"startTime":613.696,"endTime":614.736,"body":"This was a few years ago."},{"startTime":615.036,"endTime":618.426,"body":"UNICEF may well have used the"},{"startTime":615.036,"endTime":618.426,"body":"money for the exact same purpose,"},{"startTime":618.906,"endTime":621.176,"body":"but the donors don't really know."},{"startTime":621.586,"endTime":625.021,"body":"But Spread the Net, they would"},{"startTime":621.586,"endTime":625.021,"body":"tell you because that was set up"},{"startTime":625.021,"endTime":628.451,"body":"to do exactly what you expect."},{"startTime":629.511,"endTime":631.291,"body":"I think it was, uh, ten dollars?"},{"startTime":631.311,"endTime":634.611,"body":"Yes, it was ten dollars,  because"},{"startTime":631.311,"endTime":634.611,"body":"the spread of the net were Canadian."},{"startTime":634.871,"endTime":639.891,"body":"They guaranteed they could provide"},{"startTime":634.871,"endTime":639.891,"body":"a malaria net, a net for someone"},{"startTime":639.891,"endTime":643.461,"body":"whilst they sleep to prevent the"},{"startTime":639.891,"endTime":643.461,"body":"mosquitoes from infecting them."},{"startTime":643.731,"endTime":646.491,"body":"Literally saving lives with a tenner."},{"startTime":646.961,"endTime":649.941,"body":"And I think charities need to know this."},{"startTime":650.571,"endTime":653.561,"body":"It's also Children in Need"},{"startTime":650.571,"endTime":653.561,"body":"Day on Friday the 15th."},{"startTime":653.731,"endTime":658.331,"body":"And they won't just show us the horror"},{"startTime":653.731,"endTime":658.331,"body":"stories of why they need the money."},{"startTime":658.761,"endTime":661.911,"body":"They'll also show us the"},{"startTime":658.761,"endTime":661.911,"body":"effects of it afterwards."},{"startTime":662.221,"endTime":663.921,"body":"They'll show us the benefits."},{"startTime":664.141,"endTime":667.321,"body":"And that's where your focus"},{"startTime":664.141,"endTime":667.321,"body":"should be if you're donating."},{"startTime":667.321,"endTime":671.791,"body":"Because yeah, your money just"},{"startTime":667.321,"endTime":671.791,"body":"gets put into a pot with everybody"},{"startTime":671.791,"endTime":674.261,"body":"else's cash and distributed out."},{"startTime":674.691,"endTime":678.911,"body":"But when you can see the specific"},{"startTime":674.691,"endTime":678.911,"body":"benefits that you'll make, it"},{"startTime":678.921,"endTime":681.351,"body":"will have a much bigger influence."},{"startTime":681.581,"endTime":686.111,"body":"But like I say, Only do these"},{"startTime":681.581,"endTime":686.111,"body":"things if you can afford it."},{"startTime":686.591,"endTime":691.821,"body":"If you can swap 20 quids worth of booze"},{"startTime":686.591,"endTime":691.821,"body":"and crisps in a pub with a mate for a"},{"startTime":691.821,"endTime":696.216,"body":"night in with bottles instead and you"},{"startTime":691.821,"endTime":696.216,"body":"save a tenner Then use that tenner."},{"startTime":696.466,"endTime":697.156,"body":"Go for it."},{"startTime":697.916,"endTime":703.966,"body":"But if you have to swap a decent"},{"startTime":697.916,"endTime":703.966,"body":"nutritional meal for a pot noodle"},{"startTime":703.966,"endTime":708.336,"body":"and a slice of bread, then only"},{"startTime":703.966,"endTime":708.336,"body":"do that if you don't resent not"},{"startTime":708.346,"endTime":710.276,"body":"having a decent meal that night."},{"startTime":710.576,"endTime":712.516,"body":"Because you're important too."},{"startTime":713.466,"endTime":717.276,"body":"Right at the bottom of Maslow's"},{"startTime":713.466,"endTime":717.276,"body":"hierarchy of needs is food."},{"startTime":717.706,"endTime":722.466,"body":"You can't move up the pyramid to"},{"startTime":717.706,"endTime":722.466,"body":"feeling connected to others at the"},{"startTime":722.476,"endTime":725.086,"body":"top until the foundations are good."},{"startTime":726.376,"endTime":729.446,"body":"I had to make a tricky decision recently."},{"startTime":729.446,"endTime":733.806,"body":"So as you may or may not know,"},{"startTime":729.446,"endTime":733.806,"body":"I have a Patreon page to fund"},{"startTime":733.816,"endTime":734.666,"body":"the running of this podcast."},{"startTime":735.036,"endTime":738.386,"body":"Because I don't like the"},{"startTime":735.036,"endTime":738.386,"body":"idea of sponsors or adverts."},{"startTime":738.776,"endTime":742.126,"body":"And as a thank you, I make"},{"startTime":738.776,"endTime":742.126,"body":"full episodes every Monday."},{"startTime":742.956,"endTime":746.616,"body":"But I also use the donations"},{"startTime":742.956,"endTime":746.616,"body":"on Patreon to fund therapy for"},{"startTime":746.616,"endTime":748.166,"body":"people who can't afford it."},{"startTime":748.526,"endTime":752.696,"body":"And I was going to liaise with another"},{"startTime":748.526,"endTime":752.696,"body":"therapist and arrange for an extra client,"},{"startTime":752.696,"endTime":757.556,"body":"an extra patient, when it got to, I think"},{"startTime":752.696,"endTime":757.556,"body":"the figure in my head was 220 patrons."},{"startTime":758.276,"endTime":761.156,"body":"But I've lost a few patrons lately."},{"startTime":761.246,"endTime":763.086,"body":"Everyone seems to be"},{"startTime":761.246,"endTime":763.086,"body":"tightening their belt."},{"startTime":763.401,"endTime":766.161,"body":"A few people unsubscribed,"},{"startTime":763.401,"endTime":766.161,"body":"emailed me with apologies and"},{"startTime":766.161,"endTime":767.461,"body":"said they just can't afford it."},{"startTime":767.781,"endTime":771.761,"body":"Well, I also used the Patreon"},{"startTime":767.781,"endTime":771.761,"body":"donations to help with some food banks."},{"startTime":772.041,"endTime":773.971,"body":"But I couldn't do both."},{"startTime":774.221,"endTime":778.961,"body":"So, do I help people with food,"},{"startTime":774.221,"endTime":778.961,"body":"or do I help people with therapy?"},{"startTime":779.441,"endTime":783.071,"body":"And in truth, therapy wouldn't"},{"startTime":779.441,"endTime":783.071,"body":"be any good for somebody if the"},{"startTime":783.071,"endTime":785.481,"body":"reason for their depression is"},{"startTime":783.071,"endTime":785.481,"body":"because they're always hungry."},{"startTime":786.346,"endTime":789.856,"body":"And I saw some figures recently from"},{"startTime":786.346,"endTime":789.856,"body":"the Trussell Trust about how many"},{"startTime":790.136,"endTime":793.926,"body":"people are relying on food banks, and"},{"startTime":790.136,"endTime":793.926,"body":"it's through the roof at the minute."},{"startTime":794.006,"endTime":795.636,"body":"Last year particularly, it was awful."},{"startTime":795.976,"endTime":801.206,"body":"And for the first time, I think, since"},{"startTime":795.976,"endTime":801.206,"body":"they started out, the need was greater"},{"startTime":801.386,"endTime":804.686,"body":"than the donations they'd got, and"},{"startTime":801.386,"endTime":804.686,"body":"they'd been in emergency positions."},{"startTime":804.826,"endTime":809.356,"body":"So, all the therapy in the world"},{"startTime":804.826,"endTime":809.356,"body":"won't make a significant difference."},{"startTime":809.366,"endTime":815.791,"body":"So, rather than drop my Patreon"},{"startTime":809.366,"endTime":815.791,"body":"target of 220 patrons, meaning"},{"startTime":815.791,"endTime":817.371,"body":"an extra person gets therapy."},{"startTime":817.371,"endTime":822.211,"body":"I've decided to leave it where it is,"},{"startTime":817.371,"endTime":822.211,"body":"but increase the food bank donations."},{"startTime":822.401,"endTime":826.731,"body":"And if you're a patron of mine, please"},{"startTime":822.401,"endTime":826.731,"body":"remember that you're doing that."},{"startTime":827.081,"endTime":829.531,"body":"All I do is make the decisions."},{"startTime":829.541,"endTime":831.951,"body":"You're the ones actually paying."},{"startTime":831.971,"endTime":836.001,"body":"So sure, I take a day off work to"},{"startTime":831.971,"endTime":836.001,"body":"play around with podcasts each week."},{"startTime":836.001,"endTime":838.821,"body":"And obviously I'd earn more"},{"startTime":836.001,"endTime":838.821,"body":"money if I saw clients."},{"startTime":839.446,"endTime":845.046,"body":"But it's your money that I use for"},{"startTime":839.446,"endTime":845.046,"body":"the, the Trussell Trust and Fair Share"},{"startTime":845.046,"endTime":848.856,"body":"and the Deaf Children's Society and"},{"startTime":845.046,"endTime":848.856,"body":"the other bits and bobs that I do."},{"startTime":849.446,"endTime":853.556,"body":"So please recognise you might be,"},{"startTime":849.446,"endTime":853.556,"body":"if you're a patron of mine, already"},{"startTime":853.566,"endTime":855.326,"body":"doing something that's quite kind."},{"startTime":855.556,"endTime":857.116,"body":"Please do bear that in mind."},{"startTime":857.256,"endTime":860.576,"body":"I make these episodes"},{"startTime":857.256,"endTime":860.576,"body":"as a thank you for it."},{"startTime":861.601,"endTime":864.931,"body":"But I'd be making them anyway, really,"},{"startTime":861.601,"endTime":864.931,"body":"because I quite like doing this."},{"startTime":865.441,"endTime":868.541,"body":"Maybe not weekly, because it's"},{"startTime":865.441,"endTime":868.541,"body":"hard work, but I like doing it."},{"startTime":868.901,"endTime":870.981,"body":"And it's because of you that I can."},{"startTime":871.311,"endTime":876.331,"body":"And because of you that somebody has"},{"startTime":871.311,"endTime":876.331,"body":"got chickpea and potato curry with rice"},{"startTime":876.341,"endTime":878.561,"body":"for tea tonight, rather than cuppa soup."},{"startTime":878.791,"endTime":883.091,"body":"Or, or nothing, because they"},{"startTime":878.791,"endTime":883.091,"body":"gave the kid their cuppa soup."},{"startTime":883.621,"endTime":886.851,"body":"Maybe you're kind enough"},{"startTime":883.621,"endTime":886.851,"body":"already to others."},{"startTime":887.041,"endTime":892.086,"body":"So maybe, Your focus for World"},{"startTime":887.041,"endTime":892.086,"body":"Kindness Day is to make time"},{"startTime":892.086,"endTime":895.226,"body":"for you, to be kind to you."},{"startTime":896.466,"endTime":898.926,"body":"Anyway, I'm going to love"},{"startTime":896.466,"endTime":898.926,"body":"you and leave you for now."},{"startTime":899.076,"endTime":902.556,"body":"Again, if you're a patron of mine,"},{"startTime":899.076,"endTime":902.556,"body":"thanks a million for your support."},{"startTime":902.596,"endTime":904.296,"body":"And hello to some new patrons."},{"startTime":904.976,"endTime":907.546,"body":"Yes, I've lost a few this month,"},{"startTime":904.976,"endTime":907.546,"body":"but I've also gained a couple."},{"startTime":907.546,"endTime":908.876,"body":"So hello to you."},{"startTime":909.016,"endTime":911.726,"body":"Have a lovely week, you absolute legends."},{"startTime":911.996,"endTime":913.436,"body":"And I'll be back before you know it."},{"startTime":914.356,"endTime":914.596,"body":"Take care."}]}