Eric and I talk about my role as a participant in a practice group and what he experiences as a facilitator.
At the end of this episode Eric and I debriefed, and I finally figured out why I had a hard time answering the questions about the Power-over or authority in different styles of facilitators. I kept saying personality and that wasn’t the word I was looking for. It was how a group is defined. Is the group, class oriented which means it has a teacher and everyone listens and the participation is less. Or is the group given an opportunity for participants to practice NVC with the facilitator guiding participants in the direction of NVC. When I heard authority in our conversation, I figured out that it was because there is a teacher role in place which makes it seem as though I am the listener and not much of a participant.
I feel conflicted when to speak up and when I choose not to. There are times when I feel triggered in a group and I don’t say anything. There are times when I do speak up and I don’t feel heard and then I don’t speak up about that. Am I minimizing my needs or am I trying to hold the groups needs as well? What happens when we have multiple people in a group who are triggered or stimulated and we all don’t speak up?
For me, it’s so hard because I don’t want to take away from the group. What if others need it more than me? Or is it because I am not sure I feel fully safe or have trust in the group or facilitators that I will be held with care. Many of you may attend a practice group and perhaps some of you may have come across these thoughts as well. I would love to know your experiences that you have had in practice groups. I am not well versed in different groups so I don’t have much experience. I also want to hold myself accountable for not speaking up when I probably should have. It feels super uncomfortable sometimes to speak up when I know it may create conflict.
I want to give heads up too to those who have experienced any type of abuse or trauma because I took a self-defense class and I talk a little about Human Trafficking. I just want you to know that I do hold all of you with care. I want to bring awareness that this could reactivate a trigger in some of you. When I was at the self-defense class they also mentioned that being there could re-trigger some people. My goal is to bring more awareness to what is going on, in hopes that we can save lives. If I am able to bring on Ryan to talk more about self-defense I would hope that this could help parents, teenagers, adults and or anyone who has experienced or not experienced this or may have children who may be at risk. There are a lot of feelings and needs that go into things like this. I can’t wait to explore that.
Resources
All Things Possible
Video about sex trafficking in the Martial arts studio in Oregon
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